POV

Wind howling

Fire crackling

PAM

Is it getting better or worse?

ED

I don't know. When the fire alarms go off...

LUKE

It doesn't look that bad yet. From here.

ED

It's a lot worse than it should be. Be a poso, not a nego, okay?

Chuckles

ED

I don't understand. I mean, I'm not a chimneyologist. So I hire a guy to come to my house --

BANKER

It's chimnologist.

ED

So I spent hundreds of dollars to have this guy do the chimney, and he says it's wonderful. And it's not wonderful.

LUKE

It's a wonderful time of year, though.

ED

It's not. This is not even funny.

bleep

ED

damn son of a bitch

bleep

ED

Christ!

Luke laughs

ED

You should really get the feeling of romance...

PAM

Want some?

ED

What are they? These are aca... Not acamania.

Laughter

ED

BANKER,

LAUGHING

What are they? Macadamia!

BANKER

Yes. I said acamamia.

Jazz band plays

Laughter, music

MAN

It's a zoo. Merry Christmas.

LUKE

Merry Christmas. Can I open my present?

Indistinct conversation

LUKE

All right!

ED

This is not gonna come out well, is it? Two to tango Two to tango Two to really get the feeling of romance Let's do the tango Do the tango Do the dance of love One more time! It takes two to tango Two to tango Two to really get the feeling of romance Let's do the tango Do the tango Do the dance of love It takes two Takes two Darlin', it always takes two And I'm with you!

BANKER

Mom?

PAM

Yeah.

BANKER

Where are you?

Banker chuckles

BANKER

Does it look funny? No, it looks wonderful. Mom... I'm ready for you. Hello. My name is Pamela White. And I am doing a project called "The Genius of Marian." And the reason I called her the genius is she was an amazing artist. What's your relationship to her?

PAM

I'm her daughter. And, uh... I thought it would be nice to keep her alive, at least by not forgetting who she was.

BANKER

How long have you been working on the book? Oh, I haven't been working on it that much recently. So I think I should do more on the book. I forgot about the genius of Marian. Didn't I? What are you doing? I'm working on a movie. The movie of "The Genius of Marian"? Mm-hmm. Cool. Ready, action!

Banker chuckles

BANKER

So, what do you hope to do today at the storage space?

PAM

To show you about it. Show you what it's like. W-I-G-H... Do you want me to tell you about her?

BANKER

Yeah.

PAM

I love that one. Once upon a time, there was a magical artist.

BANKER

And her name?

PAM

Was Mana. She was really gifted. And she loved her children and grandchildren.

Gulls calling

BANKER

Can you tell me some of your earliest memories of visiting Mana up in Gloucester?

LUKE

Whenever we were there with Mana, it was always about going out to Salt Island, which was this incredible, seemingly impossible place, where, when the tide would go out, there was this perfect little walkable land bridge, even for a little kid, to walk out to this island. There was always this knowledge that the tide was going to come back in, so you had this sense of urgency that you had to get back in time.

DEVON

There's a portrait she did of me. You know, it looks like a sunny day. It's amazing how she could paint a watercolor painting and have it just look like a moment in time and have those memories and think about the three us us being with mom and dad, taking those little like weekends.

BANKER

Do you have a favorite painting of Mana's?

ED

Well, certainly the painting of the girl in the yellow beach hat. Pam is in a yellow bathing suit with this big-brimmed yellow hat on, sort of looking out to sea. Her hair is blowing in the wind and she's got this beautiful smile on her face. It's spectacular. And it looks just like her.

BANKER

If you had to pick a couple of your favorite paintings, which ones would you pick?

PAM

Well, actually, my favorites are the ones of you on the beach.

BANKER

Describe why you like them. Because you're naked. And it's really cute. So, what do you want to talk about today?

PAM

Um, how do I say it? Well, first of all, I can't drive because I can't. And... And so, because I can't drive, I always have to be -- Well, my friends are really wonderful to me and they always ask me if I want a ride, but there are situations in your life where you just want to get up and go to the store or something and I can't do that without asking daddy to do it and it's not a good situation. Do you understand?

BANKER

I think so. Do you remember when Mana was in this position?

PAM

Hmm... Well, she wasn't... She was in this position, probably, but she was not in this position... in that... she had Alzheimer's. And I don't.

BANKER

Didn't the doctor say that you did have early onset Alzheimer's? Careful.

WOMAN

I never put anything together with her mother. I never thought about that connection at all. I mean, I new her mother was in an Alzheimer's place, but I never connected, till finally we could see that she was forgetting things. 7... 617.

PAM

Mana and I had a lot in common. For a lot of reasons, but... I think I went through a lot of... or maybe are going through a lot of things that happened to Mana when she had her, uh... memory issue.

WOMAN

She would call it her "memory issues," but then she would say, "Please, don't tell anyone." And I didn't. And she always said secrets are bad. One should never have secrets. And yet here she was keeping the biggest secret of all.

PAM

I don't know... how much I want people to know anything. Because people... worry about -- I always say they worry about catching it.

Chuckles

WOMAN

And so we never talked about it for the longest time. And then, I remember very distinctly one night she said to me, "I have early Alzheimer's." That was really the first time that the secret, so to speak, was out. It hit me really hard emotionally because it was like... now it has to be true. Okay. Good, Ginny. Love you, too. Okay, bye-bye. Guess who that was?

BANKER

Sounded like Ginny Durffey. Yeah, it's in the... You always could know who it was. Isn't that nice? What did she have to say? She just wanted to know what was going on. What did you tell her? I told her everything was great.

Laughter

BANKER

You can just hold it and tell us where we're going.

PAM

Well, we're off. And we're going along the road. And... one of the things I'm so happy about is that my son Banker has been with us so like for I don't know how long. How long have you been here? Uh, because I just love it when he's here. It makes me so happy, I can't stand it.

BANKER

Turn it this way. Look at it. Now point it at dad.

PAM

Where is he?

BANKER

You got to point it at him.

PAM

How do I point it at him?

Like this. PAM

Okay.

PAM

I'm filming a piece of his shirt.

BANKER

Well, then film his head.

Pam chuckles

BANKER

Here, you know what? Let me see that. How about a story?

PAM

Oh, that's fun. Okay. Once upon a time, there was a young girl who lived, not in a castle but in a hotel. And... she really had a pretty good time. She never had to buy food. She never had to cook. She never had to clean up. It was like a... dream.

Chuckles

PAM

It all fell apart when her father screwed up.

Laughter

PAM

Is that how you spell "screwed up"? You want it in there or not? You do?

BANKER

Mm-hmm.

PAM

So, the castle that they lived in disappeared and they never could live in it again. However, something really amazing happened. She happened to catch the eye of this young man who lived in New York and he was all crazy about her immediately. And then the rest was history. Everything was wonderful and perfect. And he's so nice and he's so funny. And he's rich, too. That's important. And...

Chuckles

PAM

Is that enough?

What a dream. BANKER

Is he the white knight? Yeah, he was definitely the white knight.

ED

What a dream!

PAM

What?

ED

Wouldn't it be great if all that was true?

PAM

It is.

Pam chuckles

Baby cooing

Pam chuckles

LUKE

I remember, right around the time when she was diagnosed, she couldn't figure out the tip on a check, and not really at the time understanding why I was so upset but like pushing her to do the math and like... almost like pushing her pencil and trying to get her to do it, because it was something I would have always taken for granted that she could do, and it was really shocking. And that was really hard. Bye, Mama.

PAM

Bye-bye. It was fun.

LUKE

Love you,

too. PAM

Yep.

LUKE

Good Christmas. It's really hard for me because I'm not even home. Not seeing her for months at a time, every time I see her, I feel like there's some new deficit, or even piles of new deficits. Part of you wishes that she could just be the person she was five years ago or ten years ago. She was like the one who took care of all of us and was just like this really like loud, vibrant presence in the house. There was a period when the worst of what was happening wasn't so much memory problems or an inability to do certain things, it was mom doing things that were really out of character. I first heard from Devon that there was violence going on, that mom and dad were fighting to the point where mom would lose control and attack him. And that had never happened before. Hi, Mom.

PAM

Hi. I just woke up from a nap.

LUKE

Good. I went down and picked up your medicine. You want to take it now? Sure. What is it? It's your medicine. Which one is it? The Risperidone. No, I'm not taking that. Which one is this? What is it?.5 milligrams.

PAM

But what is it?

BANKER

Risperidone.

PAM

What is it? I forget what it does. It helps you to feel calm and happy. Oh, Christ. You want some water? I really don't want to take this.

LUKE

Why not?

PAM

Because it's ridiculous. Your psychiatrist prescribed it. Your neurologist prescribed it. Okay.

It's for agitation. PAM

I'm not agitated. No, you're not, but you have been in the past. How do you know? Because I've heard you on the phone. I mean, you don't have to take anything you don't want to, but I think it's worth talking about, don't you? Yeah, we'll talk about it.

LUKE

Do you want to take this one now?

PAM

No. Let's keep talking about it, then, 'cause I think you should take it. I really don't want to. Why not? Because I don't like the idea of having somebody give me a drug so that I'll be easier to deal with, which is basically what it's about. So I'm not going to do it. But, Mom, what makes you think that you're not easy to deal with? Daddy. Dad makes you think you're not easy to deal with? Yeah.

LUKE

You guys have been married a long time. You've gotten through worse. You'll get through this.

PAM

Hi. But it's not worth -- I'm not taking that pill. We decided I wasn't going to. Nobody decided that. Why am I taking it? What's it for?

ED

It's just, the doctor wanted you to have it so that it would even out all of your approaches to everything.

PAM

My approaches to everything is fine right now. He thinks it will make things better, and he thought it was very important that you do it. It's not making you sleepy, 'cause you haven't taken it in two days.

I just slept. ED

I know. And you never took the pill. The pill has nothing to do with your napping. You've blamed the pills for it, but I don't think it is what's making you sleepy.

PAM

I might want to get a second opinion, too. 'Cause I think that's crazy to make people take this.

LUKE

I just think that this is a really common thing to take when you have Alzheimer's.

PAM

I don't have it. Yes, I do, I have it.

Whispering

PAM

But I don't want to take that.

LUKE

Unfortunately, you do have Alzheimer's, so your brain is changing and you need...

PAM

It's not changing, it's changed.

LUKE

It has changed. So the things you need might have changed. You need to be open to that. You've got to give it a try. I'll do it once, and then that's it until I see my doctor. But you should take it. Take it first.

PAM

Oh, God. You guys, just try to imagine what it would be like to have people doing this to you. I think about what you're going through all the time. And I'm not happy about it but I want to help however I can, and I think...

Baby laughs

PAM

ED,

LAUGHING

Hello, Mister! Here to cheer up the boomer!

PAM

Hi, little guy!

We've got to go to lunch. PAM

Out to lunch?

ED

Yeah, we're gonna walk downtown to our restaurant. Nana! Ha ha ha! Hey, you! Hey, you! Hi, you! It's quite the big thing to have my whole family up in my own room telling me what to do. It's quite interesting.

Chuckles

BANKER

What do you think about it? I think everybody's trying to do the best they can. Hi. Hi. Wanna interview me?

Yeah. BANKER

Okay, take it.

PAM

Oh, ooh! Did you know we have a very famous person? He's a filmmaker, and, oh, my God, is that him over there? Oh, my God, I forgot he's my son! Oh! BANKER,

LAUGHING

That was the interview?

WOMAN

Keep going, keep going, keep going. Touch me here, come down. Head onto the mat. Oh, there it is! Unwind. Then lift your head. Bring your chin to your chest and then roll all the way back up. Okay. And now I want you to lie onto your back with your legs facing the other direction. She how Jane is spinning all the way around? That's it.

JANE

The first time we met was after college, and we were at some kind of party. And I saw her across the table and said to my husband, "Look, there's a movie star!" I'm a fashion model, and when you have to change in 45 minutes, you really need And because of this, I had seen her on TV and I just thought she was fabulous in connecting, and I was blown away. She transitioned from being a model to Boston University School of Social Work and then being a counselor. She was also my only friend who continued to work full-time through having children, so I thought that was incredibly impressive since she did it all with such grace and ease. She had the furthest to fall. She was the best at everything she did.

Exhales

ED

So, we met in October of '63. But I was well aware of how talented and recognized her mother was in the art world and how successful her father was. And they probably got divorced two years later. My guess -- that it solidified her belief in the importance of a nuclear family, that it is even more important to her -- and I know it is to me -- to have a couple that's together forever. She is capable of doing less and less things around the house. Probably talked to a woman from the Alzheimer's Society, two, maybe three times. They think it's important I should somehow remain more of a husband by having a caregiver get her up in the morning, get her dressed, bathe her, give her her medicine, make her meals. Maybe. So far, so good. I don't mind doing it. I like being with her. Good morning.

Hi. ED

Can I get you up?

PAM

Why?

Ed chuckles

PAM

'Cause I'm sure you'd like to have breakfast. I'll be right there. By the way, you're going to see "Candide" tonight.

And I'm taking you to Ginny's at 4

30. Okay? Yeah. Good. It's been a real wonderful thing that my partners have let me do to be here to take care of Pam. I think their hope or their thought was that there would be sort of this temporary period of change, after which I would get someone to be with Pam and I'd come back, virtually full-time. That's not gonna happen. And I think they know that's not gonna happen. But every once in a while, we have a conversation about have I found someone to be there regularly, will I be in more often, so it's a big change.

Ed chuckles

ED

Look at the smile.

PAM

That's my mother.

ED

Oh, my God.

BANKER

Tell me about my grandmother, your mother.

PAM

She... was a very interesting woman.

BANKER

Was she a good mother?

PAM

Hmm.

Chuckles

PAM

She was so -- as she should be -- she was so... involved in her art. She was just not there. Now I certainly understand why, but I didn't understand then. You know.

BANKER

So, do you think that experience made you want to be a different kind of mother?

PAM

Yeah. Probably.

BANKER

Do you want to talk about what it was like when she had Alzheimer's, what it was like to have your mom go through that?

PAM

She didn't talk about what was wrong. And she never felt sorry for herself at all. She always kept a sense of humor. And she was really funny.

Chuckles

PAM

Sometimes I wish I could be like Mana was 'cause she was so out of it.

Chuckles

PAM

You just never knew. It didn't matter. These are really fun.

BANKER

You want to watch another one?

PAM

Sure. Every night by the pale moonlight He sang sweet songs to me He sang sweet songs to me That's where he hugged me and kissed me That's where he promised to be Down in the old cherry orchard...

GINNY

I have known Pam Steele White for probably -- I think it was in 19... can you believe it -- 1975? Some of us got together and said, "Let's start a singing group." It's more like a support group than a singing group. I mean, we all have so much fun together and still meet every Monday night and rehearse.

Harmonizing

GINNY

Doo-doo-doooo... Under the old cherry tree A tree, a tree Doo-doo-dooooo

Laughter

GINNY

She was always the smiliest one in the group and had real connection with the audience, I think. In her core, she is a happy, optimistic, fun, and fun-loving. And, I mean, Pam is my friend, she's Pam and... she just was -- and is -- um, a treasure to me.

BANKER

And was she... was she involved in social work back then? Oh, Banker, I can't. I know, it's one of those things that -- I don't want to say she was because she still is. I don't want to say "was," why did I say that? Oh gosh, Banker. She is a wonderful friend. She always will be a wonderful friend. She still supports me in everything. What a pal she is. What a pal. What an unbelievable pal, through anything.

DEVON

Do you want to help her put it on? Help Mana put her shoe on?

LEIF

Help.

PAM

Thank you!

DEVON

I don't know if this is going to fit.

PAM

Good enough

ED

Wanna read this one? "What was I scared of?"

LEIF

Scared.

ED

"Well, I was walking in the night and I saw nothing scary for I have never been afraid of anything. Not very."

BANKER

So why do you think it's been so difficult for mom to deal with all of Mana's paintings? Was it emotional?

ED

Yeah. It was very emotional to your mom. She just wanted to hold on to everything. She was an incredibly devoted daughter. But, I really would like to see something happen instead of just locking them away. I haven't pushed it very far because it didn't seem fair.

LUKE

Growing up, I was only exposed to what was in our house -- family scenes, beach scenes -- but Mana went through phases where she was doing kind of abstract stuff, she was doing things that had kind of these creepy, psychologically tortured undertones. And mom always thought, oh, it was just this horrible period she went through after she was divorced. And I looked at it like, "That stuff's really good." There was depth to it. So it was cool to see the breadth of what she did. "And now we meet quite often, those empty pants and I. And we never shake or tremble, we both smile."

LEIF

Hi!

ED

And we say... what do we say?

LEIF

Hi!

ED

Hi! All right! That's a great story. Good morning. How are ya?

PAM

I'm good.

ED

Excellent. Today's the day we go see Dr. Eldaief.

PAM

Good. You ready?

Ed inhales

PAM

Really deep breath next time.

Chuckles

PAM

Wait, I better...

ED

Better who?

PAM

Get my clothes off -- on.

ED

That's what we're doing. Tuck in. Tuck that in. Cool. Here you go.

ELDAIEF

So how are you?

I'm good. ELDAIEF

You're doing good?

PAM

I am. Yeah.

ELDAIEF

Yeah? Any issues or problems? Um... I don't think, really. You don't think so?

PAM

No, I don't.

ELDAIEF

You can't think of anything that's not going well?

PAM

Um... There probably is, but I think I... Things are good for me, I think.

ELDAIEF

How's your memory? Perfect. Perfect?

ED

As you can see, she's plenty sharp. Yeah, her long-term memory's amazing. She'll come up with things that I can't remember or other people can't remember. The frustration is just, you know, go to a drawer to pick out a knife, a fork. Go to the refrigerator, and just walking from our family room to the bedroom sometimes feels a little lost, not sure where to go and it's 20 feet away, so... It's just the daily functions. Just doing things. It's really changed in the last year, I think.

ELDAIEF

Are you worried about any safety issues?

ED

Yeah. I never take my eyes off her.

ELDAIEF

Right, okay.

ED

You know, there were times when the stove would be left on or doors would be left open.

PAM

I've done that my whole life.

ED

Good point. So, yeah, no, someone needs to be with Pam all the time, and someone is with her all the time.

ELDAIEF

I want to show you these pictures. Take a look and try and tell me what these things are. What's that thing?

PAM

It's a house.

ELDAIEF

Mm-hmm. What's this?

PAM

That is a... um... I know exactly what it is.

ELDAIEF

What do you do with it?

PAM

Comb your hair.

ELDAIEF

There you go. You got it -- so it's a comb. Terrific. How about this thing?

A toothbrush. ELDAIEF

Yeah. You got it.

ELDAIEF

How about this one?

PAM

That is a...

ELDAIEF

It starts with a B. It's something you sit on.

PAM

A...

ELDAIEF

That's okay. Let's try this last one. Can you think what that is? That's okay. That's okay. Can you tell me what year it is?

PAM

Um... This is the one that makes me mad because it's something I should know immediately.

ELDAIEF

It's tough, yeah.

PAM

I just don't think about it.

ELDAIEF

Yeah. I know. It's not something people think about a lot. Can you come up with it or is it escaping you at this point?

Tell me again. ELDAIEF

What year is it?

PAM

19...

Something. ELDAIEF

Okay. Do you feel as though you have enough help at home? Uh...

Chuckles

Something. ELDAIEF

It's probably going to need to change.

ELDAIEF

Uh-huh. Would you like to speak to one of the social workers about that? Just in terms of just getting, I mean insurance can cover some of these things, just getting somebody in your house to help clean and help do the dishes and take care of, you know, sort of routine things around the house. Would that help?

PAM

I wouldn't want to have that.

ELDAIEF

You wouldn't want to have that? Even if your insurance paid for it?

PAM

Well, I think a lot of it is because Ed is so helpful. So I don't... There are just some things I'm not that good at. I don't know how to put your makeup on.

You're really good at it. ED

That's what you say. I do dress you but I'm not that good at it. The showers and the baths and all that stuff. You could really get better help than me. But that's the big issue.

PAM

That...I think the problem is that I'm... It's kind of... like my, uh... how do you say it? Pride.

ELDAIEF

That makes sense. That makes perfect sense. We want to do something that's going to just make life easier for both of you and give you more time to have fun and play tennis and go to singing lessons. But it's not something we have to do right now. Okay? All right.

DEVON

I have a very, very vivid memory of when mom and I went to move Mana out of her house. Everything was there still, like the paint was still on her palette.

LUKE

It eventually became clear that there was no way we could care for Mana at our house. I think that was one of the hardest times in mom's life.

ED

Pam would find fault with the treatment that her mother was getting. The level of attention wasn't always as high as your mom would have wanted. I know she remembers that. I mean, we've talked about that for two years and she doesn't ever want to have to go away from her home. It's a big fear.

BANKER

What are you trying to do?

PAM

Find daddy.

BANKER

Do you know where he goes when he goes to work?

PAM

Here?

BANKER

Mm-hmm.

PAM

I don't. Maybe I should figure that out.

BANKER

He's up on the third floor.

PAM

Which is the third floor?

BANKER

You know where Luke stays when... just above your bedroom.

PAM

Yeah?

BANKER

Want me to show you, or do you want to try and find it?

PAM

Yeah, why don't you show me?

BANKER

Okay. Let's go.

PAM

Up here?

BANKER

Mm-hmm. Is there anything that you would want to say to dad that's hard to tell him in person?

PAM

Do you think that what -- my -- What do you mean?

BANKER

Do you think that you getting more confused has been hard for dad?

PAM

I don't think he thinks I'm confused. In that way. I'm not confused, Do you think I'm confused?

BANKER

No, maybe that's a bad word. But you need help with things that you didn't need help with. Do you think that's true now? Hmm? That might have been true at one point, but I don't think it's true now. You used to need it, but now you don't need it anymore?

PAM

It's hot, hot, hot. Um... I would not be happy about that at all. I mean, he wins, but I lose everything.

BANKER

What do you mean? It's not about winning and losing. I don't want people that are strangers in my house if I don't want them -- it's up to me. Mana would be the same way. Mana got in a horrible car accident, wound up in the hospital and in a nursing home. I haven't done that, and I won't do that. I know, but it's one of the ways -- if we had hired someone to be with Mana that could have helped her go to the grocery store, then that might not have happened. Do you know what it would be like... to... want to do that, for me? What you should know is that daddy and I do very well and have really good relationships and have forever. Yeah, I can see that. So, I don't want anybody to get -- mess with it.

BANKER AND PAM

Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream

BANKER

Let's each just sing one word, okay? Row

PAM

Row

BANKER

Row

PAM

Your boat

BANKER

Gently

PAM

Down the

BANKER

Stream

PAM

Merrily

BANKER

Merrily

PAM

Merri-- merrily, merrily

BANKER

Merrily

PAM

Merrily

BANKER

Life

PAM

Is but a

BANKER

Dream

PAM

Dream

BANKER

Ready?Row

PAM

Do you know that you have a good, um... you are pretty good at... singing.

BANKER

Oh, why, thank you. Wanna tell me about the boat adventure today?

PAM

Well, it was going pretty well. And the... What is it? And then it didn't go so well.

Chuckles

ED

Hello? Yeah. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. It runs, it'll run, I mean it'll start up, it'll run, but it's just making this God-awful noise and I don't know what I'm doing to the engine. But I'd love it if you'd come out. Thank you, okay. Bye. They're on their way, Mom. We may have thrown a rod.

BANKER

Did the engine crap out?

PAM

Yes.

BANKER

How'd you feel? I felt sorry for daddy. Do you ever like going out on the boat? No. No, I'm never going again. Did you ever like to used to go? Not really. Did you? Mm-hmm. Is it a man thing? I don't think it's a man thing. You do, or you don't? I don't necessarily think it's a man thing.

ED

We've had less than perfect days before, so if it's calm and it's sunny and we're going to go catch fish -- which is what we really were going to do on that last trip, and I still would really like to do -- she'll go. Especially if we get good lunch. Pam likes to connect, so we like, she would rather be with me doing something with me than being all alone. She doesn't read anymore. She used to be in book clubs, and I would buy all the books for her. But she'd never read them, and now she doesn't participate in the book clubs anymore. We still subscribe to the New Yorker magazine, but I think her ability to concentrate is not there, so... she doesn't want to do that. She just kind of wants to be together. So that's what we do. I just worry that I don't have enough stuff to do. I mean I wish I could find, think of things so that I knew she was being kept mentally active.

DEVON

I think we all are learning more about how to help her and how to take care of her. But I think around our family dynamic, I think... See? Then I start to say something that I'm worried I shouldn't say.

BANKER

Like what? Like that I think it's become a lot more difficult to share the responsibility amongst all of us and that dad takes on most of the time when we're not around. Sometimes when I see what he's doing, it seems impossible. And he's doing it lovingly, and he's doing a good job, but I just... I feel like I'd like to sit down and talk with him about it, because I'm really worried about him. He needs to get out of the house more and just live his life as he used to, but he can't. Just time to like let the steam out, and I think the result has been not good.

PAM

This is funny.

BANKER

Is this funny? Yeah, Mom, let's work on a comedy. What should we call the title of this comedy?

PAM

Hell. Hell!

BANKER

It's not fun at all?

PAM

Nope.

BANKER

Is it -- are you looking forward to any part of this trip? How about the end of it? I just don't like it, it's just ridiculous. He wants me to do this. He knows I hate it. She's not enjoying the wind.

ED

We'll get out of the wind in a second. You'll be fine! Really. Come on, Mom. You gotta do stuff, you can't just sit. Come on, we'll wrap you up, we've got blankets, towels. I'm telling you, once we start going...

BANKER

It'll be fun.

ED

You won't even feel it. Come on.

PAM

I don't want to fall in.

ED

I don't know why you're doing it that way, but if you do, get your butt way in.

PAM

What do I do?

ED

Just come over here, hold my hand and step in the boat.

PAM

I don't want to!

ED

Oh,

bleep

ED

! Let's just go sit on our asses for the rest of our lives.

bleep

ED

Christ. Come on, Mom. I'll bring you right back if it starts --

BANKER

Hold my hand. Ready? Just step over.

ED

Step over.

Yep. ED

Piece of cake.

BANKER

Can we at least try to make the best of it? Let's sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." Come on!Row Ready? Row I can't do this alone, you know. Row

PAM

No.

BANKER

No, no, no your boat Let's sing it, let's make a new song called "No, No, No Your Boat." No, no, no your boat Mom...

ED

It's really hard. My biggest problem is I sometimes kind of feel like I'm caged. I can't even go buy a paintbrush without going through the big rigamarole of getting mom dressed up and getting in the car and going to town, and... So I just have to, you know... forget it, so... You know, remember the phenomenal life that she's given me.

Sighs

ED

So... I should sail over this even if it gets frustrating. And I'd better laugh and I'd better be fun to be with, because it's nothing she did. Darn it.

Stirring

DEVON

Can you show mommy you're a big boy? One bite of your bread?

BANKER

Shhh.

Child shrieks

BANKER

Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh! Good morning, Mom. I don't want it in my face. The camera?

PAM

Yeah.

BANKER

But you look so pretty this morning.

DEVON

Wanna get up?

PAM

Where did daddy go?

DEVON

He's playing golf.

PAM

Okay.

DEVON

Wouldn't you rather play with us today?

PAM

Yeah. I think daddy went to... somewhere to play golf. Is that right?

DEVON

Mm-hmm. What do you think about that?

That's good. DEVON

It's good for him?

Let me touch it. DEVON

Gonna show Mama?

LEIF

It's a baby sister.

PAM

Oh that's nice!

LEIF

Touched it.

PAM

You touched it? Oh.

LEIF

It's a baby sister.

DEVON

Tickle, tickle, tickle the baby.

ED

Hey, Mom! We got an email from Devon. "When I have the baby, I will stay a minimum of two nights at the hospital after the baby is born. I love you and I thank you a million times already for being so good to me and my growing family. We feel so blessed to have you in our lives. Love, Devon." All right!

PAM

That's very nice.

ED

That's excellent.

BANKER

Why do you want to call Devon? I have to give her... some... things that... to get ready for. Do you know if it's going to be a boy or a girl?

PAM

We don't know.

BANKER

I think it's going to be a baby girl. It is going to be a baby girl. Tell me about being a mom.

PAM

Well, it's awesome. It's probably one of the best things I can think of.

BANKER

Why? Why? What did you ask me?

DEVON

Sometimes when you're talking to her and you want to know everything she's thinking but sometimes she's quiet. I just wish that she was able to be there more and tell me what to do.

BANKER

Did you teach her your secrets?

PAM

My secrets? We used to talk about stuff. I think she asked me a lot of questions.

BANKER

What's the hardest thing about being a mom?

PAM

Worrying.

DEVON

There she is.

DWIGHT

That's your sister.

DEVON

There's baby sister. That's your sister.

DWIGHT

Yeah! Give me five. Yeah!

DEVON

You say, "Good job, Mommy"? Wanna sing her a song? Want mommy to sing her a song?

Devon humming lullaby

DEVON

I think that the just overwhelming joy of having my healthy daughter in my arms eclipsed any kind of fear before they got there. And then, when they were there, after they were there for a little while, I was a little worried about, you know, her holding her, what that would be like. And I did notice she seemed a little bit anxious, like she was wondering what to do.

ED

We gotta get this so we can send -- We called Banker, did you call him?

DEVON

And then, I was remembering when Leif was born in the same hospital, I think it was six or seven months before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and she'd gotten horribly lost trying to drive to the hospital.

ED

Yay, Devon and Dwight, yay! Great job!

DEVON

I just remember feeling so overwhelmed and confused about what could be going on because I don't think we knew what she was going through then.

LEIF

Wanna be closer.

DEVON

You wanna be closer? That's nice.

DWIGHT

Wow!

DEVON

This time it wasn't like that at all. There's something that felt different about knowing what her condition is and knowing how she might react and not really worrying that she could be lost or hurt because I think she's being well taken care of. So I think we had a really nice, we had a really wonderful first day. Yay, we're all 'gethers, Leif.

CLAIRE

Pam? Good morning.

Hi. CLAIRE

Hi.

CLAIRE

Did you have a good night?

PAM

Yeah.

CLAIRE

Good. You ready to get up?

PAM

No. CLAIRE,

LAUGHING

Come on.

CLAIRE

You wanna have breakfast first? Then take a shower, or...?

PAM

Sure. Yeah.

CLAIRE

Okay, so let's go to the bathroom now.

Okay. CLAIRE

Okay.

CLAIRE

The other side. Mm-hmm, there. Okay, let me help you. Your palm is not dry.

PAM

My what's not dry?

CLAIRE

Your palm wasn't dry enough. You want to comb your hair?

Yes. CLAIRE

There.

PAM

It really needs it.

CLAIRE

Yeah.

PAM

Where's daddy?

BANKER

Today's his work day. Did he go? To the office? Yeah.

CLAIRE

When is your birthday?

PAM

Hmm?

CLAIRE

When is your birthday?

PAM

Huh?

CLAIRE

When is your birthday?

PAM

Oh, when do I have breakfast?

CLAIRE

When is your birthday?

Pam chuckles

PAM

April 23rd... I mean, 12th!

CLAIRE

Hmm. Do you know what it says?

PAM

Hmm?

CLAIRE

Do you know what it says?

PAM

What?

CLAIRE

"Don't be too proud to accept help."

To get -- CLAIRE

Accept help.

CLAIRE

It says, "Don't be too proud to accept help."

Pam giggles

PAM

Is Mana here too? No?

BANKER

Is Mana here too?

PAM

Yeah. No.

BANKER

Does it feel like she's here?

PAM

I don't know. I thought she wasn't...

BANKER

So why did, why do you want to make this project, "The Genius of Marian"?

PAM

Well, Mana was an amazing person. You wanna kind of keep with it.

BANKER

You know why I want to make the project?

PAM

Why?

BANKER

Because I think you're kind of an amazing person.

PAM

I am?

Giggles

PAM

Oh yeah?

BANKER

Don't you think?

PAM

I don't know.

BANKER

That's what I think the project's about.

Pam giggles

BANKER

It's about telling your mom that you love her.

PAM

That's nice. And she was so funny. Don't you think?

BANKER

Mm-hmm. Sit down wherever you want.

PAM

It's Tuesday, July 20...

BANKER

It's Tuesday. Say "Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010."

PAM

Hi. This is -- Do I say, "this is who?"

BANKER

You can do whatever

ED

Look at that smile.

PAM

This is Pam White. And today is July 20... Hello, I am Pam White. I am a mother of three children. I will tell you a little bit about me. I grew up in a hotel. My father owned the hotel. And it was an unusual way to grow up, but it was a lovely way to grow up. I was an actress. I did modeling. I live for my family and my children. And one little glitch is that I have developed Alzheimer's. And initially I was quite and upset about it, It doesn't really change anything. So I don't feel sad and I don't feel regret. I feel blessed that I have this wonderful family and a husband who is extraordinarily wonderful. I just feel like maybe the way my mother did before she was dying. It just was the way it was, and remembering, keeping, cherishing all the...

sighs

PAM

times I had with friends So it's all good. No regrets. PBS. Your home for independent film.