FRONTLINE

>> When we cant afford to pay our bills, like our house bills and stuff.

You never know whatll happen in your life.

>> NARRATOR: We first met them 14 years ago in Illinois and Iowa.

Johnny, Kaylie, Brittany, and their families.

The experience of growing up poor as seen through their eyes.

>> And we lost our whole house and everything.

>> Life is going to be hard because there is hardly going to be any jobs left, even rich people will be poor, like you, you might get poor in the last few months.

You never know.

>> NARRATOR: From childhood... >> If I dont have the opportunity to show somebody to play football, football wont exist.

>> NARRATOR: Then, as teenagers... >> No matter what I go through, I'll still want to try and try and try to be better.

>> I know people have it worse than me and I wish no one had that.

>> Everybody knows the American dream, "Oh, go to college and go live your life."

Thats all I wanna do.

>> NARRATOR: And now, young adults.

>> The last thing that I want is for my kids to worry about what were going to have for dinner, or worry about where were gonna stay.

>> Being born poor, it can start off rough.

It can be a difficult process because you-- limited opportunities.

But them opportunities will come.

>> Oh nice job man.

>> What can I do today to make myself better for tomorrow?

>> Life has lessons.

People make mistakes.

You know, life goes on no matter what happens.

>> Changing the cycle that you were born into is very hard.

Im still learning to this day.

Its a long, lengthy process.

>> NARRATOR: Now on FRONTLINE, Born Poor.

>> My name is Johnny Davis.

I am 13 years old, fitting to be 14 in three months.

We are in the Salvation Army homeless shelter.

Jasmine, no!

My dad had got a, a business, he was making about a good $5,000 a month.

We had good and fancy things then.

We had a three-bedroom house, a living room, had a 32-inch flat-screen TV in there.

My mom's and dad room had a, a 42-inch flat-screen TV in their room, and that's what TV we watched the Super Bowl on.

>> Oh, here's one of Tom's old business cards.

>> Oh, oh, yeah, I remember T&C.

>> Yeah.

>> T&C-- Tom and Classy.

>> Yeah.

>> (laughs) >> When it was good, it was good.

I can remember having five or six jobs a month that were lined up, back to back, and I mean decent-paying jobs, $4,000, $5,000, $7,000-- whatever it was.

And all of a sudden, just right about the time when everybody was saying, you know, the recession is coming about, the recession is coming about, people just plain-old stopped fixing on their houses, stopped making repairs.

>> The payment on the house was due in two weeks.

And I guess my parents just didn't have the money at the time.

'Cause he was explaining to us, business was slow.

And we lost our whole house and everything.

So we was back to ground zero.

Then we moved to a homeless shelter.

Anything that can fit in a bookbag or a suitcase, you can take it.

Whatever you-- like this TV, the yellow one in the living room?

That only made it because it could fit in my bag.

If it couldn't fit in my bag, that would have been left behind, too.

All my life, I've been wanting to play for a football team, and every time we had a chance to get on a team, I never got the opportunity.

It was just there, and I would've went to the training, but it was time for us to go.

>> We have to go-- hurry up and let's go.

>> Hurry, hurry, hurry!

>> My father works at Grain Processing Corporation.

In the mornings, we get up around 4:30.

We get there, we come straight back to go to school.

>> In, in, in, in, in.

>> Assigned seats, assigned seats, let's go.

>> The journey takes about two hours, there and back.

We have to go with our mom, because the rules say that we couldn't be left in the shelter by ourself because we weren't old enough.

>> I thank God that he still has a chance and an ability to still go out and get different jobs.

>> It's not a career or something that I want to spend the rest of my, uh, working years doing, but it's something that will provide for us to have some food.

>> (speaks softly) >> It seem like he gets further away every day.

I know this is tough, driving out here every day, there and back, there and back.

There and back, there and back.

It would be so much easier if you could go ahead and just grab us a place out here, so you don't have to make the trip back and forth.

>> I look at that little house every time I ride by, past-- oh.

That's a nice one there.

>> You turn around, look back at the house, you might look at it for a while, and go on with the rest of your life.

(door closes) Hey, Mom, guess what I got on my grades.

>> What?

>> Oh!

Oh!

>> That's good.

(chuckles) Let's see it.

>> One for the Willis team.

>> (laughs) >> That's good.

(chuckles) >> I got two As, two Bs, and two Cs.

>> Ooh, wow.

>> That's what's up, Johnny.

>> I have to get you a skateboard.

>> Grades is my only way out of here.

If my grades are not good, I know I can't go to universities like my dream is to go.

I know if my grades are not good, I can't play football like I want to.

If I don't succeed doing what I have to do in school and making good grades, I will fail.

I am gonna live this life.

Life of shelters, going through hard times, can't feed my kids, um, trying to figure out where I'm gonna lay my head every night.

My name is Brittany Smith and I am nine years old.

It's tough, because my mom and dad are poor.

My dad just lost his job.

The other day, I tried getting in the shower, and it was cold.

I, I put the hot on all the way, and no cold, and it was freezing.

It felt like shoving your face in a bunch of snow.

It was freezing!

The hot water shut off because we didn't pay the bill in time.

It was overdue.

>> Sucks.

>> So, what's the next bill due?

>> Electricity.

That'll be $318.

We just need to put Roger's ass to work.

>> (laughing): Yeah.

>> You see, the, the flat-screen TV and the computers and our PS3 and stuff, that's just things we've acquired over the years before all this happened.

Like when we were not this poor.

>> Sink's broke.

(laughs) I don't know how or why, but it broke.

And the cheapest plumber is, like, $65 an hour.

I can't even afford $20.

>> Oh, we lived in a farmhouse.

My dad lost his job from Picture Perfect.

He got laid off, and we got kicked out of there.

We moved here.

It's not very big.

We didn't have enough room, so we had to put it all in storage, and we lost it all because we couldn't pay it.

>> How storage works is, you put all your stuff in there when you move, but you have to pay the bill, or else it gets thrown out on the street, 'cause they have a spare key.

I don't think it's right, because people shouldn't throw other people's stuff in the street.

'Cause that's just plain-up rude.

I got a big makeup thing, and I lost it in storage.

I lost my favorite teddy bear.

I lost my DS.

It was gray, and it was awesome.

I am bummed out, because, like, that was my favorite thing in the world.

Besides my family.

(laughs) Mm.

>> Yeah.

Caliper's shot.

Got to get new pistons, at least, on it.

>> My dad's brakes on the truck isn't working.

One time, we almost got in a wreck.

It sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

I hate that sound.

(chuckles) When is the cable being shut off?

>> Soon.

We owe 'em almost $200.

The cable, the internet, all that.

We don't have the money to pay it.

>> Oh.

What're you doing?

>> Applying for a job.

>> Have you applied to many places?

>> This will be the third Menards store I've applied at, uh, Walmart, the anchor place-- quite a few.

>> I hope that my dad will somehow miracle-y get his truck working, and get a good job, and so we'll be able to get money, to keep this house, hopefully, and not get kicked out.

>> My name is Kaylie Hegwood and I live in Stockton, Iowa.

And I am ten years old.

Oh, yay!

That one was good!

That one was good!

I don't think we're a rich family, but, like, I think we're kind of a poor family.

I'm hungry.

>> (chuckles) I knew you were going to say that as soon as you... You're gonna have to wait now, sis.

>> I'm just starving.

We don't get the three meals a day, like, breakfast, lunch, and then dinner.

When I feel just, like, hungry, I will, just, like, I'll feel, like, like, I'm so, like, sad, and all droopy, and then I'll be, I'll feel, like, weak, and then, some in the mornings, I'll be, like, so starving, but then I'll, like, be, like, "Ah!

I need some food!"

But then, like, I'll get, like, but then I don't think of food, and then I'll just think of something else, and then, I'll, I'll not be hungry anymore.

Ow!

>> I asked if you were ready.

Combs are hard.

>> One more time.

>> You can't pull at Mom when I am doing this.

>> (gasps) Stop pulling.

>> I'm sorry.

>> How do you think you have customers?

>> (chuckles): Customers.

>> I don't want you to freaking cut me.

>> I am not gonna cut you!

>> You better not.

>> I've been in school long enough, I won't cut you.

>> Or you're dead, I mean it.

My mom, she has very little in her bank.

And, like, she can't pay all of her bills at the same time.

>> My income is $1,480.

And the total of my bills is $1,326.

(dog barking) And that does not leave me money for food or gas.

I have never seen it this bad.

>> Cans!

Okay, put them in here.

>> (speaks softly) >> Don't want beer.

(chuckles) (voiceover): My best friend is Jordan, and we grew up together.

We like to go canning to make money.

With canning, the non-squished ones are five cents.

>> Five, and the squished are two, so that's... >> Yeah.

Some people come over here for gas, and it's not here anymore.

The dance hall, that's broken.

Train station, it's all rotted.

Didn't that use to be a movie theater?

>> No.

>> What did it use to be?

>> It was the old bank.

>> Huh.

I bet there's old money in there.

>> I'm not going in there!

The floor fell in.

That would be awesome if there was, like, thousands and thousands of dollars.

When we can't afford to pay our bills, like, our house bills and stuff, I'm afraid, like, we'll get homeless.

Me and my brother will starve.

You never know what'll happen in your life.

So, yeah.

(signal ringing, train horn blowing) >> Kaylie, what are you looking at?

>> It's loud!

I would just like to go explore the world, but I'm never going to be able to do this.

'Cause these days, everything is expensive.

I watched this one show where it said they're raising the gas prices, and my mom can't even afford gas.

We have to be careful how we use our gas, how we use everything.

>> The bills here at the house is just too much for me to handle.

Right now, there doesn't seem to be a way out.

So, my only options are to give up my house and move my stuff into storage and move into the motel room.

>> We won't get to keep our dog Nala.

It's extra money and we're gonna get rid of her.

(barking) I don't want to move.

Like, I want to just stay put here.

>> I think there's a lot of people in America that need help with food.

Because they are poor or they are either homeless.

Or they're both.

We need food for our family.

I'm hitting my growth spurt, and I'm really hungry.

(chuckles) My favorite food is Chinese food.

I am craving that right now!

Know what makes me mad?

We can't afford it.

Huh.

>> You know, I've seen a lot of things in my life... (intercom beeps) >> Mr.

Jaquin?

>> Yes.

>> If this is a good time for you, would you like to send your students down for the nutrition club?

>> I'll have them down there shortly.

>> Nutrition club is a bag of food that you get every Friday, and you have to make last the whole weekend.

They announce in class that you have to go down for nutrition club if you're in it.

You have to go to the office, and you have to sign your name in for it.

And then, um, you go put it in your locker and then you go back to class.

>> Hi, good morning, Brittany.

>> I'm surprised by how things can change so fast.

You can go from doing okay, not having to go hungry, to this.

Going hungry and having to pay all your bills, and not being able to.

On the verge of being homeless again.

(birds chirping) (people talking in background) >> We just found out my mom is pregnant.

She's like a whale.

(makes explosion sound effect) My dad's been working.

He's been working for a week, and he has $64 total.

(sniffs) >> Having a baby is probably not the best idea right now, considering that we're going through money problems.

>> Definitely not a good time to have a baby, but I don't believe in abortion and... >> Mm-mm.

Or adoption.

Financially, we're gonna be in a lot more trouble.

>> Yeah, financially, we'll be strapped.

>> (laughs): Dogs.

>> (imitates dog barking) The thing I miss the most from having all this happen is the internet.

I mean, people don't realize what they have until it's gone.

And... (exhales) Serious "World of Warcraft" withdrawals, man.

(laughs) 'Cause, say, in "World of Warcraft," I'm awesome, I'm a level-85 paladin.

(chuckles): Tank and healer.

And in real life, I'm a 14-year-old boy with nothing going for him.

(chuckles) (whistle blows) >> The good news is, I have made it on the football team.

I'm starting quarterback of every game of the season.

Church, left.

Muscle, screen pass to Isaiah.

Ready?

>> Play!

>> All I want is to play football.

But football is expensive.

And I can name a few of the, the items that I need and want for my sports.

Hut!

Go!

My gloves ripped, my football glove.

Asked my mom and dad, "Can I get some?"

And my dad was, like, "Well, "well, how're you going to get it?

I ain't got no money."

>> Take time and money, Johnny.

Then a helmet costs, cleats cost.

The pads cost.

>> I believe when there's a will, there's a way.

You want something, if, if you want to, and if you want to do something, fight for it till you can get it.

That's what I believe.

>> You getting too big.

You always want something extra.

>> I don't want nothing extra.

>> Yes, you do.

You want a phone, you want shoes.

>> I got a phone!

I'm not wearing no earth walkers outside, no, sir.

Jordans and Nikes.

>> Johnny, Nikes is, and Jordans are expensive.

>> I know.

>> Just for a name-- that makes no sense.

Now, you need a job.

(chuckles) >> Nike's not expensive.

>> Look, I been buying Josh shoes, after shoes, after shoes.

I can't afford it.

Now what?

Walmart?

He gotta take Walmart.

What else can I do?

At least his feet not dragging the ground.

>> There were some Jordan flip-flops in there for $30.

Now, that's a great deal.

You cannot find no Jordan flip-flops, the brand-new kind, for no $30.

They're probably not real, but guess what.

>> Is that a great deal?

When I can go to Walmart and buy my... The shoes I'm wearing I got from Walmart for five dollars.

>> I'm talking about name-brand stuff.

>> They... >> That's a good deal, Mama.

>> My sandals are nice, right?

>> If you closely, if you listen to it, it's a good deal!

>> Five dollars-- you want some of those, right?

>> Ma.

>> See, that's why I like y'all when y'all small.

They, like, they accept stuff.

You getting too big.

Your feet growing.

You in grown people shoes now.

(exhales) Please stop growing!

(laughing) As a mother, you always got different thoughts going through your head and mind, and wishing that you could change things, and wishing things was different, but what are you to do?

You can't keep beating yourself up about it.

But at the same time... It's just hard.

Having a family is hard.

Maintaining a family is hard.

Keeping us indoors is hard.

(sniffs) (chirps) >> I want to be an NFL player.

My dad say it takes lots of hard work.

>> Ooh!

Good one, good one!

(clapping) What do I tell you to do every day?

>> Push-ups and sit-ups.

>> Push-ups and sit-ups.

>> I'm 14.

My life is almost over until I'm a grown man.

And if I don't have the opportunity to show somebody, to play football, football won't exist in four years from now.

That dream is going to slowly start fading away.

That's what happened to some of the dreams of kids.

They pertain to something and they can't afford it.

>> (fussing) >> There's a little chin thing.

(clicking tongue) >> It's a boy!

Baby's a boy.

I was really hoping for a little sister, but, you know, you get what you get.

>> Went back to work for the company that I used to work for, and they're not doing the greatest, either.

So, I got maybe a week's worth of work, and then, they're going to be closing up shop from this local office, and only keeping one of the three branches open, you know?

So, it's just temporary.

Temporary fix to a long-term problem.

Yep.

Battery on that one's dead.

>> How much does a new battery for this thing cost?

>> About $30.

>> Think it pretty much sucks that we can't really fend for ourselves that well.

We might lose this house, and if we can't, like, move in with somebody, we're gonna be, like, literally living on the streets.

(chuckles) (engine starts) I'm scared of me growing up, having kids, and kinda going through the same stuff.

Not being able to feed them and not being able to clothe them or whatever.

Oh, I ran over poop!

That sucks.

(engine stops) Dad!

I let it die!

Oops, I let it die.

>> Only thing I told him not to do: don't let it die.

>> I don't think my chances of getting a good job when I grow up are that good, because the economy is screwed up.

Oh, this thing's heavy.

(panting) It sucks.

(voiceover): I'm trying in school and stuff, but I'm not really doing that good.

(engine sputtering) I may be big, but I never said I was strong.

(sputters, chuckles) Ow!

Just hit my face.

If you don't get a good education, you're not going to be able to get a good job, and if you don't get a good job, you could end up like us.

>> (crying) >> Oh, come here, oh, aw.

>> (whimpering) >> (voiceover): No more babies.

I got my tubes tied after I had him.

I love him, and I wouldn't, wouldn't mind having more, but we can't afford it.

>> The baby's futures are gonna be weird and messed up.

Life is going to be hard, because there's hardly going to be any jobs left in the future, or any money, even rich people will be poor, like this.

(snaps) Like you.

You might get poor in the last few months.

You never know.

(train horn blowing) >> We're not keeping Nala.

She was, like, my dog.

She was, like, my favorite dog, and now we have to go take her to the pound.

We have to get rid of Nala, but not Tanner.

Nala was so adorable.

If you had her, she would sleep on your bed and she would sleep on you.

She was, like, your little guard dog.

We're getting rid of my perfect little lovely dog.

(Nala snuffling) Yes, Nala, I hear you stressing out.

"I love you, Nala."

>> Does she have any favorite toys or games?

>> Lots-- she needs lots and lots of bones.

>> Okay.

>> Yeah.

She chews up bones like... >> She'll chew one in, like, an hour or so.

>> Okay.

>> (whispering): She hates baths.

>> Aw.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Doesn't like baths.

>> No.

This is my animal lover.

(chuckles) >> She'll have to go into our isolation room, since she hasn't gotten any vaccinations yet.

>> Yeah.

>> So, she'll be in an isolated area right now.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> All right, sweetie.

(talking in background) Do you want the leash and collar back at all?

>> Just the leash.

>> Okay.

>> And the collar!

>> Why the collar?

>> 'Cause!

>> She's gonna need it.

>> Mom!

Fine.

Meanie.

(huffs) (whimpers) (crying) >> (speaking indistinctly) >> (sobbing) (whimpering) (gasping tearfully) (barks) I got him!

>> There you go.

>> I thought we were getting a double bed.

>> And there's no mini fridge.

Dang it.

And there's no microwave.

Okay, we have to ask him about that.

>> Yeah.

I thought we were getting a double bed.

This is small.

>> It's gonna be small.

>> It's all crunched up, and there's not much space, see?

Oh.

>> (wails) >> See?

He takes up the hallway to go to the bathroom.

(chuckles) Be right back.

(voiceover): All the cold stuff that needs to be freezed is in the sink.

(ice rattling) We don't have a fridge.

Just the sink is our fridge.

We have to get ice mostly every day, because it melts during night.

My mom can't sign us up for school.

My mom says that we're gonna go, we're gonna get in school when we move into the trailer that we are getting.

If I keep missing school, then I see my future poor or on the streets, in a box.

Asking for money, stealing stuff from stores, and, you know.

I don't want to steal stuff.

(chuckles) I don't want to do any of that stuff.

I want to get an education and a good job.

I believe that I'm gonna get a perfect job that I like, and that I want to do.

People can't stop you from believing in your own dreams.

I'm Kaylie, and I'm now 15.

I've moved to a trailer, then I moved to a duplex, and then I moved here.

And we've been here for almost a year and a half, two years.

Bella, oh, my God.

I'm so happy I got her.

She cuddles with me, actually cuddles.

She'll sit there and lay on my chest all night.

Bella, can I get underneath your chin?

Are you gonna let me?

(voiceover): It's important for me to have a dog, because it's kind of like therapy.

My grandma was diagnosed with mucosal melanoma cancer.

>> So, Grandma went for her PET scan today.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> And her thing's getting big again.

>> It's getting bigger?

>> No, well, you know it was small, and they got it all, like, contained.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> Okay, well, I think it's getting... Like, the thing that's all like a deflated balloon?

>> Yeah?

>> Is now starting to inflate again.

>> Again?

>> Yeah.

>> They're probably gonna have to do radiation again.

>> Yeah.

>> My grandma, she gives a lot.

Without her, we wouldn't have this house.

My mom wouldn't have her car.

And, like, I wouldn't have a phone.

We wouldn't have anything without her.

>> Our electric will probably be shut off by, in the morning.

>> Why?

>> We owe them $179, and they won't wait.

>> Being poor, it sucks.

It affects, like, not being able to do stuff.

If you want to go hang out with your friends, like, go to the movies, you can't do that all the time, because you don't have the money for it.

>> I don't want my phone to die.

>> I don't even care about my phone, like, how are we gonna eat?

>> We can get things like lunch meat and bread and chips.

I'm going to go to energy assistance on Thursday, and they're going to be able to help me, but I can't get there till Thursday, and the electric company will not wait.

>> But our freaking stove is electric!

We're going to be living with, like a third-world country again, with no power.

>> We won't have hot water.

It's a little depressing.

It's really hard, and I know people have it worse than me, and I wish no one had that.

(chuckles) >> (laughing) >> That's it.

>> Transportation's hard because of my mom.

Can't afford gas.

Whenever I go to tae kwon do, the instructor, he takes me back and forth.

(kick lands) >> Foul!

>> Did it!

(laughs) I like doing tae kwon do because it gets a lot of anger out, and stress and stuff, so it helps relieve some of that.

There's probably been many children who've grown up in a poor household, became rich in the future, which, I believe I can, um, but it's a 50-50 chance.

I wanted to get a nap in, but that's not happening.

>> You can go do your homework.

>> Good, 'cause I'm buried in it.

>> (laughing): "Good, 'cause I'm buried in it."

Well, if you do it the first time... >> It's not from something I don't do.

>> It's something from... >> Okay.

>> ...when I miss school.

>> Okay.

>> I know I'm not supposed to miss school, but I've missed about six days already.

That's a lot.

That's why I think my grades are kind of iffy.

I can't rely on my mom.

She can't even get herself up in the morning, you know?

I have to.

Your schooling is probably the most important thing ever.

Like, your schooling is what gets you somewhere.

It's what takes you places.

Are you gonna go to the bathroom?

(voiceover): I cannot wait to get out of Iowa.

I know many people say that, but I have a passion of getting out of Iowa.

(laughs) The most thing I'm afraid of is becoming like my mom.

No offense, she's tried her best, but I'm scared to death of becoming like her.

Her financial situation and things that's happened to her that affects how she acts.

If I become like her, I don't know.

(sucks in breath) I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

(laughs) No.

Maybe someday, in my future, I will graduate from college and push through life.

>> Good morning, Grandma.

>> Good morning, Johnny, what's going on?

>> Not much.

>> How was work?

>> I'm really tired from it.

You know what I'm saying?

They had me working real good last night.

It wasn't that long.

I'm Johnny, I'm 19 now.

I moved with my grandmother to Chicago.

South Side of Chicago, so, that's where I'm located in now, until I go venture off for, for college or whatever.

(dog barking) My parents, they couldn't stay stable, moving around a lot of places.

And I knew it was gonna be a problem for me academically, as far as my life situation.

I guess I started hanging out with the wrong people.

I ended up going to jail.

We were all making stupid decisions on a consistent basis, every single day.

They decided that day that they wanted to shoplift.

We ended up getting arrested for it.

I didn't run, 'cause I didn't want to get shot.

It was a minor misdemeanor-- I got locked up for a day.

When I went to jail that day, it was, like, "You really falling off."

"You let yourself fall off.

"You went from all this good stuff happen to you.

You gonna be," you know what I'm saying, "a good football player."

Scouts was coming to see me at practices and asking about me, and wanting me to play on their team, to, "Now you smoking weed, and you got locked up," and all that.

It was just, it just, like a reality check to myself, like, "You really falling off.

You need to get back on track."

And this was my wake-up call, I guess.

I came up here to start over.

The route I was taking down south, it wasn't going good.

I was going to be a dropout or something like that.

And I had to do it, I had to graduate.

It's something my parents didn't do.

I had to make that opportunity and graduate from college.

>> How do you make 'em move over?

>> Just... (voiceover): Me and my grandma got a real close-knit relationship.

>> Oh, wow, that's beautiful.

All four of y'all together, too.

It's a blessing.

Look at Josh.

Wow.

Y'all coming up so nicely.

Growing up-- no more babies.

I worry about them.

Them going place to place to place, different places, and not being stable.

That's what worries me.

I just hope that they can be able to stay stable somewhere, so they all can graduate out of school.

Stability is everything.

>> (voiceover): I don't worry about my brothers and sisters.

Everybody doing good, getting good grades, graduating, going to their next grade, doing something positive.

I think they're gonna be fine.

I work for HMR Designs.

It's a party and wedding designing company.

Just working to this point, till I enroll in school this spring.

I just know that the money is needed, so I gotta go get it.

I work my job gradually and just to save my money until, when spring come around, I can enroll in school and start playing, and that's all I'm worried about.

But now, I'm just going to work and, I guess, keep myself in some good shape and save my money, that's all I can do right now.

If you fall, you gotta get up, dust it off, and keep on going.

That's the only thing you can do, till you get to the top.

There we go.

Go on, get off him.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, gonna go... (voiceover): If you come check on me five years from now, probably be somewhere, playing for somebody team.

Everybody knows the American dream, "Oh, go to college and go live your life."

That's all I want to do.

Living my dream and take care of my family, that's it.

>> I'm Brittany, and I'm now 15 years old.

My hair isn't blonde anymore, because I dye it, which is one of my hobbies, I guess.

I like to do different stuff with my hair, and I like it.

And I'm probably not going to stop until all of my hair is gone.

(chuckles) >> Here, give me one of these ones.

(voiceover): I'm Roger, and I'm now 19.

Graduated high school a year and a half early and got a job.

Gotten a few different jobs.

Uh, just been working.

Working and sleeping.

(chuckles) >> Zachary, one... >> I'm gonna... >> No, Mommy.

I'm just playing.

>> It's not a toy.

You see that?

That's germs.

That's gross.

Put your chair back.

>> My little brother, Zach, turned five.

Zach is autistic.

To help him, we'll help count with him and we'll him try to read and stuff like that.

>> B is for... >> Ball and bee.

>> (chuckles): Yeah.

>> Oh, I love that little guy.

He's so awesome.

He's helped pull the family together, and definitely takes a lot of stress out of the day.

>> (coughs) >> Here's your dragon.

I think my monster could kick your monster's butt, dude.

(laughs) >> (laughing) >> Well, dang.

>> Will we... >> Middle school was filled with drama, and I hated it so much.

People would bully me because I was poor.

It distracted me focusing on my grades, 'cause they were, like, passing notes and everything saying that I was ugly.

My lowest point was getting expelled and getting held back.

The highest point was, you know, finally, like, graduating middle school, and I felt, like, super-proud of myself.

I like art and creativity, because you get away from the real world.

It just helps me a lot.

>> It's definitely gone up and down over the past five years.

It'll be going good for, you know, a week or two, a month, and then out of nowhere, all the bills pile up, and just, we can't seem to find any money any way.

>> I know that my parents try to make it less stressful for us, but Dad'll come home with a really bad paycheck, and then I'll just, like, start doubting everything.

We won't be able to pay bills is what I keep thinking, and I'm thinking, like, we're not gonna be able to pay rent, we're gonna be sitting on the streets or something like that, and... Just, every time that happens, it pops up in my head.

Being stressed out and everything is part of life.

>> Wonderful.

What can I do for you?

>> I just need to pick up these.

Two shower doors and a storm door.

>> (indistinct) >> My dad, he just recently got his job back at Lowe's, and that's when I started with him, too.

I think I've gotten myself into the business to where it's always going to be there.

You know, people are always going to need sidings, and I always figured if this didn't work out, I'll build toilets.

Everybody's always gonna need to take a crap.

(laughs) Yeah, I never really thought that I'd still be at home, but I don't make enough money to make it on my own.

I just think, at this point in my life, I don't need to be happy right now.

>> When I grow up, if I have kids, I would not want them to be growing up like this.

No matter what I go through, I'll still, like, you know, want to try and try and try to be better.

>> I am in Bettendorf now, and I am 22, almost 23 years old.

I got my own house.

I put $1,000 from working at a retail store in the mall into marijuana stock.

I made around $60,000.

I moved out of my mom's, and then a week later, I found my first house, bought that one for around $20,000.

A very close friend of the family gave me a little bit of a loan, along with the money I had.

So, fixed it up a bit, and then resold that one, and then did that another time.

Now I'm here.

Got my G.E.D., and then, automatically enrolled in college.

I'll have my criminal justice associate's, and then I plan on going for my bachelor's, majoring in psychology and minoring in criminal justice.

I got a job as a 911 dispatcher.

A straight month, we were doing classroom work.

And then, past three weeks, call-taking, actually on the floor, live.

Dispatcher to five, copy, en route Jackson Ave., medical alarm for a fall-- hot response.

(voiceover): I am nervous about messing up, especially when I'm live call-taking, 'cause these are real people and real-life emergencies they're going through.

>> Overall, he looks great.

He looks to be a happy, healthy puppy.

(laughs) >> He is a very-- he's a scaredy cat, for sure.

>> Yeah, yeah, just a little nervous.

Let's see.

>> Oh!

(laughs) >> I know, I'm here-- you forgot, you... (laughing) >> (voiceover): I'm still a dog lover.

Bella was put down two-and-a-half years ago.

I miss her every day.

I have her ashes, I got her cremated.

Come on, go play.

Go play!

Go play!

Now I have Sadie and Blue.

I like to stay in my house, hang with my dogs.

I'm a pretty boring 23-year-old.

I, I really just sit at home, read.

Every now and then, I'll pull up a TV show, play with my dogs.

I'm very much a homebody here in Iowa.

(timer beeps) I do, on free time, love to bake.

I've been trying to make the animals food, because they're amazing taste testers.

I tried making them sweet potato chicken nuggets.

Not exactly the prettiest, but they taste good, 'cause they love them.

Sit.

Blue.

Well, I think they like it.

(laughs) When you're growing up poor, like, that's your norm.

You don't have the best situation, but, like, that's just what you're used to.

Me and my mom, we don't really talk as often.

We have two separate paths in life.

We don't really get along the best.

You know, holidays are enough time.

Sadie, sit.

(Sadie whines) Sit.

(voiceover): I've been working really hard to get my life together, and it's starting to point in a direction.

But believe me, there's days, like, where it just feels like there is no direction.

There was a time where I thought I didn't even want to be alive.

Trying to build success is a very lonely life.

I've been seeing a therapist for two-and-a-half, three years.

With my appointments with my therapist, I've learned, as a defense mechanism for your brain, PTSD can kind of block out memories.

And unfortunately, most of my childhood is kind of blocked out.

Like when I took Nala to the pound, I don't remember anything that had entailed that day.

It is very sad to have the gaps, and not being able to remember, because, unfortunately, you know it's because you didn't grow up in the best situation, and your, your brain has to protect you.

It's a fight every day, and I am sure those with mental health struggles, they know, like, it's a fight every day.

>> I'm Johnny.

I'm a college football player that plays at the University of Shorter.

Right now, we located in Rome, Georgia.

It's north of Atlanta.

(grunts) Shorter University.

It's a D-II in North Georgia.

Coach Morrison was a blessing in disguise, gave me an opportunity out of nowhere.

He just told me, "I like what I see, and we can use you over here."

(people talking in background) >> (shouts) >> (cheering, exclaiming) >> I am a father of three, a husband to Leah Davis.

>> Sick?

>> Dad, taste.

>> Okay, here.

(voiceover): We actually met at the college that I attended in Chicago.

I went to National Louis University there.

We were very young, so, um, I'd say attraction at first sight.

>> I'm so glad I took pictures of these plays, 'cause they took this book from us and we have to write notes.

>> When we first met, he wasn't playing.

And I remember pushing him to get back in school... >> (indistinct) Every day.

>> ...and try to figure it out, like... >> "Go chase your dream."

>> All right, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!

We're taking it, we're taking it.

>> Whoo!

>> It's my time.

>> Let's go, let's go!

>> (voiceover): I'm not in the starting lineup because I took a devastating hit to my ankle during camp.

>> Defense!

Defense!

Defense!

Defense!

>> Let's go!

>> (voiceover): I wasn't happy.

It was irritating.

I hate being hurt.

It don't let me be that little kid having fun playing this game.

Watch the run!

Watch the run!

(voiceover): When I'm there on a game day, it is tough to be on the sideline and watch.

But I worked my way back up the depth chart, so I could play again.

>> Let's go.

(whistle blows) >> Come on!

>> (shouting indistinctly) >> (voiceover): I'm on special teams.

You waiting on the sideline patiently.

You get your name called and you go out there, and it's, like, "Okay, all right, it's time to make a play."

>> (shouting indistinctly) >> "Let me go make this happen."

>> Get down there!

>> (shouting indistinctly) >> The job on kickoff is, run your lane and make a play, whether that's a tackle or whether that's a strip fumble, or whatever it might be.

You focus on your assignment at hand, and you go get it done.

>> (talking in background) >> Finally, boy-- no, that ain't my first one, though.

It's just been a minute.

I got that, though, let's keep going.

I'm doing good!

Let's keep doing it, though!

I don't need one, I need more.

Let's keep doing it, though.

>> Yo!

>> Yeah, yeah!

We'll start in Proverbs and we're gonna read to the end of this chapter.

We're gonna stop each verse to get a understanding and make sure that we know exactly what's going on.

>> In order for you to gain understanding and knowledge, you have to be willing to find people that are going to help give you advice to lead you in the right direction.

>> Right.

>> And not those that are gonna lead you astray.

(baby cooing) (voiceover): We tend to lean on each other when things get really difficult.

We've been through quite a bit of things, like, especially with one of our sons passing-- our second son, he was a twin.

>> Yes.

>> It was a mono-mono pregnancy, and they were in the same sac together.

>> They both were fighting for their life, 'cause they both were strangled by the umbilical cord.

They both had it around their neck, apparently.

But one had more of a heartbeat than the other, which is the one that's living.

The oldest one realized that he was kind of passing, so they kept, like, swapping blood.

You know?

>> Trying to save each other.

>> Trying to save each other's lives, yes.

And, finally, he, I guess the oldest one gave off more of the blood to my son that's alive now, and he was trying to do the same, but they got him out before he could give off any more.

So, it put him in a bad situation when he came out, 'cause he was, like, drained of blood.

He had to have a lot of blood-- what was... >> Transfusions.

>> Yeah, blood transfusions, because he didn't really have much in his body, 'cause they was trying to save each other.

I didn't even know children could do stuff like that, like... >> Yeah, I don't want to do the waterworks.

I'm sorry.

(laughs) >> No, you're fine.

>> I'm sorry, um... >> It's okay.

(kids calling in background) Yeah, I don't know.

It is crazy, but... >> This is our son Jaycee.

This is the one that passed-- this is the second twin.

These are just some little keepsakes that we got.

It's my baby boy.

This is one of the hats that he wore in the photos.

(voiceover): It was really difficult, just wondering, "What could I have done to prevent this?"

(voice trembling): I couldn't help but think, what if I would've pressed the doctor a little bit more about letting them be born, born early?

They both could've been in the NICU.

And Jair is fine.

He's three.

So, he's doing great.

It just makes me wonder, like, we could've had both here, doing great.

(crying) Life is going to come with trials, and life is going to come with tragedy, but even through all of those things, you can still have joy.

>> Go run!

>> Like this.

>> Don't fall-- don't fall.

>> Yeah, be careful, Elena.

Don't fall again.

(voiceover): My name is Brittany Smith.

A lot of stuff has happened.

(laughing): A lot.

Um, I have two kids now.

Run!

(voiceover): I have a son and a daughter.

My daughter is three, about to turn four, and then my son is five, about to be six.

I've changed a lot since becoming a mother.

Teaching two humans how to live, you definitely learn how to be patient.

They're very good kids, very sweet, they're smart.

Oh, you want one now?

Oh, you want that one?

Oh!

Just to put in the water.

(voiceover): I love being a mom.

They both have brought so much light and happiness into my life.

I didn't think that anybody could love me that much.

I'm really glad that I have those two in my life.

I don't know what I would do without them.

They're both my rocks-- they're my everything.

Isn't that pretty?

>> Pretty.

>> That is so pretty-- don't put it in the water.

It's not going to be fuzzy no more.

(voiceover): I just want her to have somebody else who understands the things that she dealt with when she was growing up, 'cause that's how I felt when I had Roger with me.

I felt protected.

I felt like I could go to him with anything, you know?

He's very missed.

I wish my kids would've gotten a chance to meet him.

>> Roger was working with Josh.

He was saving up money.

He had a, a girlfriend.

They were talking about starting a life together.

It was April 15, 2018.

And Roger got in a severe car accident.

(clears throat) And he passed away.

The wreck was so bad that it crushed more or less every bone in his body.

He was a donor, but they couldn't use anything.

He's missed, tremendously, every day, all day.

(chuckles, sniffs) A big part of our lives is gone.

A lot of people came to his funeral.

The very first person that showed up was the lunch lady at his high school.

"Forever in our hearts."

That's Roger's urn.

That's where he's at.

I almost gave up.

I, I starved myself.

I ended up in the hospital.

That's when I guess I hit rock bottom.

And I had to pull myself out of it, because I still had children that needed me.

>> Mm.

>> And we all grieve differently.

It's still too painful for Josh.

Brittany went through a severe depression.

She lost her best friend and her brother.

>> (grunts) >> Yeah!

>> (laughs) >> Oh, crap.

Roger, that's ice!

(voiceover): He died at 19, and I went down a really bad path.

I was addicted to Adderall for a while.

That was the darkest point I've ever had in my life.

I didn't expect to live to 18.

I was just gonna do Adderall and drink till I died.

That was my plan.

>> I'm sorry.

(laughs) Are you okay?

(cries out) >> (laughs) >> (laughing): You almost got me.

>> (panting, laughing) >> It's not cool.

>> (voiceover): I definitely lost a lot of myself when he left.

A lot.

Way too much than I want to admit.

I promised myself I wasn't going to cry.

(chuckles) (breathes deeply) I lost pretty much all that I knew of myself when he left.

>> I'm sitting on the arm of the couch.

My legs are on your leg.

>> When he was four... >> And I know my legs aren't that fat.

>> ...he was too big to sit on me.

>> (voiceover): This definitely feels, definitely feels very empty without him.

>> You better not fart.

Oh!

Oh!

(laughs) >> (voiceover): Life just doesn't feel real anymore.

>> (laughs) >> (voiceover): I miss having my best friend around all the time.

When I was at the point where I was at my lowest, that's when I found out that I was pregnant with Odin.

>> All right, let's draw... Mm, let's draw a mushroom.

>> Mushroom?

>> Mushroom?

>> Easy.

>> (voiceover): I was ready for it to just be over.

I didn't want to be here anymore.

And then feeling that heartbeat, and him kicking and moving inside me, just made me feel I had a purpose.

And then, I finally had him, and looking at him for the first time, you just feel all that love just, just melt into that baby.

That was the second I knew, like, I was meant to be his mom.

Like, I was... I wasn't supposed to do the things that I was doing.

Like, I was not supposed to die.

I was supposed to stay here.

And then when I had Elena, it was the same feeling all over again, except she pooped all over me when I held her for the first time.

(laughs) Since Roger passed, the only real mental health support that I got was a grieving journal.

Looking at it was just a painful reminder, and I didn't like it, so I ended up throwing it away.

Ooh, pick the prettiest one.

>> The prettiest one?

>> The prettiest one.

>> Look at this chunky guy.

>> (voiceover): I haven't really dealt with that fully yet.

But I'm getting to the point where I realize I really need to talk about it, 'cause it's getting to me.

Like psychologically, mentally.

And I don't-- I want to be healthier mentally, for my kids.

Roger's death made me realize that life is very short.

>> We're expecting.

>> We got a little munchkin on the way.

>> I'm excited, because we're getting our girl.

A little nervous, too.

I'm just glad that she's healthy.

I'm excited to meet her when she finally gets here.

Even if we have to really buckle down and budget, we're still able to do that.

We find different ways to make ends meet.

Johnny does different things.

He used to work with his dad contracting.

He's done day labor services, he's had other jobs.

And I do hair, babysit, things of that sort-- we make it work.

We definitely make it work.

Right now, times are hard.

I'm still in school.

I'm in the tech field.

I'm going to be studying cloud design.

We live off the Social Security benefits that we have, and I have WIC right now.

And those are the only things that we have currently.

(baby wailing) The benefits that people receive, they're taxpayers' dollars.

It's not like we haven't worked ever.

I've been working since I was in high school.

I was in banking.

(laughing): Needless to say, I was paying taxes.

That's what this is for.

Everybody has a moment where they have to lean on someone, whether that's the government or their family.

You never know when that could be you.

We're gonna have nachos tonight, okay?

And movie night, before Daddy leave.

>> (indistinct) >> Yeah, I, I know.

I don't want Daddy to leave, either.

Oh, don't be sad.

>> Doody's sad.

>> I know Doody's sad.

Mommy's sad, too.

>> (indistinct) ...Daddy go bye-bye.

>> Yeah, your daddy's gonna go bye-bye.

Just for little bit, okay?

>> Okay.

>> (voiceover): I just got an invite to go play at an all-star bowl game.

It's for collegiate guys that are trying to make that next jump to the next level.

(car door closes, engine starts) Just another way to, you know, put guys on the map, and let guys, let coaches and organizations see that, even though we come from smaller programs, whatever the case might be, we still have the ability to play at the next level.

This life is about living, and you only get one of them.

>> Let's go!

>> Oh, good, good.

Oh, you stay right with him-- go grab him!

>> (cheering) >> Oh, that's good.

Good work, man.

>> What I want to gain out of this, for one, I came to have fun.

Definitely gain some quality film that I could put on a, a highlight tape, and somebody could be, like, "Wow, this big guy can run, move, he plays the ball well," and all those things.

>> Get hands on him right away.

>> (grunts) >> Oh, good punch, good punch.

Oh, you're good, you're good.

Oh, stay right-- oh, there you go.

(crowd exclaims) Oh, nice job, man.

>> Oh, my God!

>> Oh, my God!

I couldn't even see the (bleep) ball, brother.

(people talking in background) (cellphone calling out) >> Hello?

Goodness.

>> Jair, Jair.

>> Hi.

>> Where's your baby sister?

>> That's right here, it's my baby sister.

>> Oh, okay.

>> Daddy, can you see it?

>> Right there.

It says right there, "It's a girl."

>> No, Blue.

(snaps fingers) Blue, down.

(voiceover): Unfortunately, I was fired due to an incident of a 911 call I took for an abandoned dog.

It was around 30 degrees with wind chill, so, it was pretty cold.

Um... Nothing-- I could see that nothing was being done about it.

So, then after work, I went and, to check on the dog, 'cause, I mean, it was 33 degrees outside, with wind chill.

I mean, it was, it was cold outside.

They said, like, you're not allowed to respond to calls, but that dog was abandoned-- it was cold outside.

No one would leave a baby outside in the cold.

Why should someone leave a dog?

They fired me because I broke protocol for going to help the dog.

I'm making it now, but job stability, losing that, is scary.

I have a savings.

I'm not going to let my account get too low.

(cat meows, Blue whimpers) I have a certain number, and if it gets to that number, then I'll just get a dead-end job.

I want to move out of Iowa.

I'm applying at jobs kind of around the Dallas area in Texas.

It's a little bit more affordable there.

Housing is affordable.

There's no state tax there.

I've applied to 14 different places.

And I believe three or four of them said no already.

I want to get away from Iowa because it just feels like a dead-end road for me here, like there's nothing left.

I plan on selling this house, and then buying a house there.

I can't really rent, because I have two dogs and two cats, so, it's pretty hard to find.

I tried to build a life here, and I just can't.

I'm very scared.

So much can go wrong.

(marker writing) I'm not gonna expect me moving to a different state be a cure for everything I'm suffering here.

Changing the cycle that you were born into is very hard.

'Cause it's like your brain is trained that way.

I mean, a lot of toxic behaviors I had to unlearn, um... It was a... (chuckling) It's a hard process.

I'm still learning to this day, so... It's, you know, it's a long, lengthy process.

>> Right now, we are located in Jacksonville, Florida.

I'm here visiting my parents.

My father's a contractor.

He got it back up and going over the last couple of years.

And it's been extremely successful.

>> It's raining, so you got some work to do, Johnny.

>> My favorite co-workers.

>> Oh.

>> (laughs) >> I would rather work for my parents than a random person.

He's ten times harder than a normal boss would be, but I'm cool with that, you know?

That's your father.

(voiceover): I will stay with my parents during the draft training process to get ready for my pro day, where my skills are officially tested.

I have a, a good friend that, he's letting me borrow his car that he's not in town.

I wake up at 4: 50, drive 30 minutes over to Gym Jax.

(breathing deeply) >> Drive, drive, drive, drive.

Yes.

>> (voiceover): So far, I haven't made any money off of football, but I hope that in the future, I will.

It's the recruiting game all over again, but now it's just at, at the professional level, you know?

Somebody gotta like what they see for them to give you a chance.

>> Good.

Drop.

Yeah, boom, good, but you saw how you came up?

>> Uh-huh.

>> Straight, straight out.

There's no need to go up.

>> Eventually, this will turn over.

You know?

This will become a point to, in my life, to where all this hard work that I'm putting in, it won't go in vain.

Because, you know, that's just how this process go.

The more hard work and the, the more consistent you stay, you will see the results that you're looking for.

Jacksonville, Florida's, gonna forever be, like, a spot, my other son, his burial plaque is there.

I go see it on my own, and in a sense, a part of my, my life, a part of me is in Jacksonville.

Do I ever get tired of the struggle?

Absolutely.

(blows) But I feel like, if you get another day to breathe and wake up and make something happen, you got to get off your butt and make it happen.

My son didn't get a chance at life to really see what was going on, but if he would've lived, he would've had this.

He would've have had a chance to be able to get up every day and fight for life.

When I look at his brother, I just see how he would have been, you know?

Feel like they would've just been two firecrackers, full of knowledge and learning.

You know what I'm saying?

We all must return back to the ground, right?

One day, yeah, we all gotta return to the dirt.

I still have days where I feel like crying.

If I don't, probably shed a tear on my own.

Tear drop, and I remind myself, "Be tough."

Today is the last thing in my control.

The Podyum Bowl Pro Day event that's being hosted today.

>> Yes, sir!

Nice stick!

>> (voiceover): Teams look at the pro day results to see if they're gonna give you a chance.

>> Bam!

>> I feel like 13-year-old self would be, like, "Okay, this what you been, this what everything came, come down to, you know what I'm saying?"

I need good results on the 40 today.

It's, it's the benchmark for, you know, all the scouts and the teams.

I done ran 40s over the last two months, maybe over 200 times.

>> 4.96, 4.81.

>> Real bad.

Yeah.

(voiceover): 4.81 is not a good time.

So that wasn't good enough-- I needed under a 4.6, at least, for a team to be able to pay attention to me.

That's crazy.

That's crazy.

That's too, too bad.

4.9?

That's offensive linemen movements.

And I've, it's crazy, 'cause in training, I never ran... Like, the slowest I ever ran, 4.5.

Man, that's major.

I don't know what the hell's fitting to happen now.

You're gonna run, you're gonna stop, and you're going to catch the ball.

Let's go.

You ready?

Don't mess this up.

>> Okay.

>> All right?

>> All right.

>> All right, let's go-- say it.

Stop!

>> Stop!

>> Catch the ball!

>> Catch the ball!

>> There you go!

>> There you go.

>> Good job.

>> Good job.

>> All right, come on, yes, sir.

>> It's been especially difficult for Johnny, because of his upbringing, with how he had to move around so much.

And so, the fact that he still has that childlike passion, it's amazing.

>> You gotta keep going till I say stop.

Come back, come back.

Set.

Go!

Stop!

Yes, sir!

(voiceover): Chasing my dream is not easy.

'Cause I kind of had that feeling.

You're, like, damn, is this over?

Is this... Did I... Is this how it ends?

All this time and work just to run a, a time that I know I'm not even close to running, and it ends like this?

I felt like that, I did.

But at the same time, I was, like, "No, you, just, that don't even make logical sense," right?

That's not how life work-- life's keeps going.

>> Right now, I'm surviving on my paycheck from McDonald's, the food pantry, and food stamps.

It's hard to money-manage when you're struggling.

Thankfully, I got the food bank to help with that.

>> Uh, tilapia, salmon... >> Ooh, salmon!

>> Yes, and we have ground beef.

>> (voiceover): They definitely have very healthy things, and those are super-expensive at supermarkets and stuff like that, like, insanely expensive.

Like, a thing of raspberries is five dollars.

That's, that's a lot to me, 'cause it adds up, you know?

If I want to buy a bunch of stuff to make a fruit salad, it's gonna cost me over $30.

Ooh, lookit!

They got fruit and stuff in here.

>> Yeah, that just arrived today, so it's pretty fresh.

>> Nice!

They had, like, fruit salad bowls ready, and they had kiwis, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, orange slices.

Like, they had all that stuff just jam-packed in a giant bowl and we got it for free.

You can pick one toy, okay?

Right now it is, it's pretty important that we get food from here, 'cause I live at my cousin's house, and I only make $300 each paycheck, and I have to give my cousin basically my entire paycheck to make sure that we can pay for everything.

I'm gonna grab you some socks, too, 'cause you run through socks like it's nobody's business.

(voiceover): It just feels like I always end up in the same boat, all the time.

And it's sinking.

(laughs) I did it to myself-- I dropped out of school.

Went down a really bad path, I got pregnant.

(clears throat) And then, I just wasn't able to really do anything further with my life other than work and raise my children.

>> My pajamas-- look at this.

>> That's too small, baby.

>> It's... >> You are a six, this is a three.

>> Look at this.

>> (voiceover): Losing my brother definitely knocked some stuff out of whack in my brain.

I feel like I have a lot of anger held in towards that.

And it definitely clouds my better judgment on the decisions that I make.

So, it is my fault that I'm in this situation.

But it's also not from lack of trying.

It's lack of ability, if that makes sense.

It's... It's just difficult.

I'm just tired of the struggle.

It's exhausting.

(sizzling) (sizzling) It is really nice to be able to have salmon.

I like it, but I don't really know how to prepare it.

(voiceover): I just wish I would've made better choices in my life, and I wouldn't have followed in my parents' footsteps.

'Cause now my kids are going through the same stuff that I went through when I was little.

And that tears me apart.

(clears throat) (breathes deeply) (indistinct) All right, it's hot.

>> I don't know who texted you.

Smells good.

>> If you don't like it, it's fine.

I mean, not, it's not for everybody.

Mom's never really made salmon before.

>> What is the sauce?

>> It's tartar, it's tartar sauce.

It's for fish.

>> I kind of like it.

>> It grows on you.

Once you get in the hole, it's extremely hard to find your way out, and I got myself deep in that hole, and I'm, feel like I'm just clawing, trying my hardest, grabbing sticks, grabbing tree roots and stuff, trying to find my way out, and everything's just slipping and breaking, and I just keep falling back in the pit.

(inhales) It's extremely hard to get out once you're in.

>> (voiceover): I am currently in Gainesville, Texas, now.

I am pregnant.

It was a bit of a surprise, that is for sure.

(dog toy squeaking) Was not the plan, but, you know, there's never a full plan in life.

You just kinda gotta roll with it.

I am five months-- I'm having a girl.

And then right there's her leg, her thigh, her knee.

(voiceover): The baby's father, who I'm with, his family's amazing-- anytime I need help, you know, I just give them a call and they're there.

Go.

(voiceover): Of course I worry about being a mom, 'cause it's scary.

Everything you do, you might repeat the cycle.

Every hard decision affects the little life you created.

Ma'am.

(kisses, whistles) (voiceover): It's, like, a mix of emotions.

Like, of course I'm happy, I'm excited, you know?

But also, it's, like, "Oh, wow, I'm gonna be a mom."

(laughs) I'm just glad that kid me had dreams, and I wanted to overachieve.

No matter what situation I was put in, I, I still had those dreams, because at the end of the day, it's easier to imagine a life out of your current situation than what you're really living in.

>> Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Odin Happy birthday to you >> Blow them out!

>> (applauding) >> (laughing) >> Good... Yay!

Odin has just turned six, um, he started kindergarten.

So he's very excited about that.

(laughs) Elena, she starts pre-school.

They're just super-excited to go to school, to learn, to play with all the other kids.

This way, baby!

>> I'm trying to!

The ground is too hot!

>> That's why I told you to bring your Crocs, dude.

(voiceover): I feel like if I tried a lot harder in school, I would have my high school diploma, I would have a better shot at getting a good job.

The last thing that I want is for my kids to worry about what we're going to have for dinner, or worry about where we're gonna stay.

>> Yummy, yummy.

Mom, it's all done.

>> (voiceover): If my dream came true, I would have my little pastry shop, little puff pastries.

That's what it would be called, Puff's Pastries.

It's my thing, I really like to make things look pretty.

It's relaxing, it makes me feel good about myself, 'cause other people like what I've done for them, you know.

Gives me the validation, affirmation that I want, so... (laughs) The chances of that happening probably aren't very high, but I'm gonna stay positive about it, and try my hardest.

(baby squawks) (people talking in background) >> (voiceover): Newest added member to the family is my daughter Jaelle Jacola Davis.

She came here May 30.

Crazy, I got another one right around my birthday.

I'm just blessed to have another healthy child, that's what I'm happy for.

Happy I got a family-- it's the only thing that's been... Truth be told, only thing keeping me afloat, for real, for real.

>> Which one do you like, Doody?

>> Um, hmm.

How about the blue one?

>> The blue one?

That's your favorite color, huh?

>> (voiceover): Being born poor, it can start off rough.

It can be a difficult process, because you-- limited opportunities.

But them opportunities will come.

Catch that.

Good catch, boy.

(voiceover): Sometimes you get, you get dealt a bad hand.

I've been getting bad deck of cards all my life.

You gonna sit there and cry about it?

Or you're gonna play through it?

I'm just at home working a regular job, waiting for my opportunity.

>> Is the dream over?

>> Hell, no.

You know the dream ain't over, man.

What kind of question is that?

Come on, it's our last chance.

Stop!

There we go!

Stay there, stay... (laughs) Y'all gonna see me at 40.

If he's, if he's still filming this when I'm 45, 50, y'all gonna see him, like, he gonna ask me that same question with some wrinkles in his voice, 'cause he going to be super-old by then.

(laughs) And I'm, and you're going to ask me the same question, and I'm going to tell you, as a old man, "Nah, the dream ain't over.

I can still get out there and run with them young'uns."

Watch.

I ain't letting this go, man, this was... My mama used to tell me, like, people, certain people was born to do certain things, you know what I'm saying?

This is what I was born to do.

Go.

(grunts softly) (indistinct, laughing) Yeah, boy!

(laughing) That's what I'm talking about-- have faith in that, boy.

See it?

That's the new truth, man.

>> NARRATOR: Go to pbs.org/frontline for more about poverty in America.

>> In the mornings, we get up around 4:30.

>> We get there, we come straight back to go to school.

>> We have to get ice mostly everyday, because it melts during-- >> That was my favorite thing in the world.

Besides my family.

>> NARRATOR: And watch our earlier films on these families.

Connect with FRONTLINE on Facebook and Instagram and stream anytime on the PBS app, YouTube, or pbs.org/frontline.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org >> For more on this and other "FRONTLINE" programs, visit our website at pbs.org/frontline.

FRONTLINE's "Born Poor" is available on Amazon Prime Video.