Great Performances

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Overture playing

Birds singing, hens clucking

MAN

There's a bright, golden haze on the meadow There's a bright, golden haze on the meadow The corn is as high as an elephant's eye And it looks like it's climbing clear up to the sky Oh, what a beautiful mornin' Oh, what a beautiful day I've got a beautiful feelin' Everything's goin' my way All the cattle are standin' like statues -- hey! All the cattle are standin' like statues They don't turn their heads as they see me ride by But a little brown maverick is winking her eye Oh, what a beautiful mornin' Oh, what a beautiful day I've got a beautiful feelin' Everything's goin' my way Aunt Eller! Aah! Skeered me to death! Oh! What're you doin' around here? Well, I, uh, come a-singin' to you. All the sounds of the Earth are like music All the sounds of the Earth are like music The breeze is so busy it don't miss a tree An' a ol' weepin' willer Is laughin' at me Oh, what a beautiful mornin' Oh, what a beautiful day I've got a beautiful feelin' Everything's goin' my way Oh, what a beautiful Day! If I wasn't a ole womern, and if you wasn't so young and smart alecky, why, I'd marry you, git you to set around at night and sing to me. No, you wouldn't neither. 'Cause I wouldn't marry you! Nor none of your kinfolks, I could help it. Oh, none of my kinfolks, huh? And you can tell 'em that, all of 'em, includin' that niece of your'n, Miss Laurey Williams! Aunt Eller, if you was to tell me where Laurey was at... where would you tell me she was at? I wouldn't tell you at all. For as far as I can make out, Laurey ain't payin' you no heed. So, she don't take to me much, huh? Where'd you git such a uppity niece that wouldn't pay no heed to me? Who's the best bronc buster in this here territory? Why, you, I bet. And the best bull-dogger in seventeen counties? Me, that's who! And looky here, I'm handsome, ain't I? Pretty as a picture. Curly-headed, ain't I? And bow-legged from the saddle for God knows how long, ain't I? Couldn't stop a pig in the road. Well, what else does she want then, the damn she-mule? Well, I don't know, but I'm sure certain it ain't you.

Laughing

Sighs

MAN

So, who you takin' to the Box Social tonight? Aww, I ain't thought much about it. O, I bet you come over to ask Laurey. -What if I did? -What, you askin' me, too? I'll wear my fascinator. -You too? -Yeah.

WOMAN

Oh, what a beautiful mornin' Oh, what a beautiful day Oh, I thought you were somebody. I got a beautiful feelin' Ev'rythin's goin' my way Is this all that's come a-callin' and it a'ready ten o'clock of a Saturday mornin'? You knowed it was me 'fore you opened the door. No sich of a thing. You did, too! You heared my voice, you know it was me. I heard a voice a-talkin' rumbly along with Aunt Eller. And heared someone a-singin' like a bull-frog in a pond. You knowed it was me, so you set in there a-thinkin' up sump'n mean to say. And I'm a good mind not to ask you to the Box Social. Well, if you did ask me, I wouldn't go with you. Besides, how'd you take me? You ain't bought a new buggy with red wheels onto it, -have you? -No, I ain't. And a spankin' team with their bridles all a-jinglin'? No. 'Spect me to ride on behind ole Dun, I guess. You better ask that ole Cummin's girl you've took sich a shine to, over across the river. Ooh! Well, if I was to ask you, they'd be a way to take you, Miss Laurey Smarty. Oh, they would? When I take you out tonight with me Honey, here's the way it's gonna be You will set behind a team of snow-white horses In the slickest gig you'll ever see Land! Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry When I take you out in the surrey When I take you out in the surrey With the fringe on top Watch that fringe and see how it flutters When I drive them high-steppin' strutters Nosy pokes will peak through their shutters And their eyes will pop! The wheels are yellow The upholstery's brown The dashboard's genuine leather With isinglass curtains you can roll right down In case there's a change in the weather Two bright side-lights winkin' and blinkin' Ain't no finer rig I'm a thinkin' You can keep your rig if your thinkin' That I'd keer to swap For that shiny little surrey With the fringe on the top Would you say the fringe was made of silk? Wouldn't have no other kind but silk Has it really got a team of snow-white horses? One's like snow The other's more like milk So you can tell 'em apart. All the world'll fly in a flurry When I take you out in the surrey When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top When we hit that road, hell-for-leather Hyah! Cats and dogs will dance in the heather Birds and frogs'll sing all together And the toads will hop! The wind'll whistle as we rattle along The cows'll moo in the clover The river will ripple out a whispered song And whisper it over and over Don't you wish you'd go on forever Don't you wish you'd go on forever Don't you wish you'd go on forever And it'd never stop? In that shiny little surrey With the fringe on the top You'd sure feel like a queen sitting up in that carriage! Only, she talked so mean to me a while back, Aunt Eller, I'm a good mind not to take her. Ain't said I was goin'. Ain't asked ya!

Curly sighs

WOMAN

Where'd you get such a rig at?

Laughing

WOMAN

I'll bet he went and hired a rig over to Claremore, thinking I'd go with him! That's all you know about it. Oh, spent all his money hiring a rig, and now he ain't got nobody to ride in it! I have too! Look, I -- I did not hire it! I made the whole thing up out of my head. What? Made it up? Dashboard an' all.

Chuckling

WOMAN

Oh! Get off of the place, you! Aunt Eller, make him get himself out of here! Tellin' me lies! Makin' up a few little -- Whoo-hoo! Makin' up a few little purties and -- hey! Ha, look out, now! Makin' up a few purties ain't agin' no law I know of. Hey, don't you wish there was such a rig, though? Hmm? See, then you could go to that play party and do a little hoe-down till morning, if you was a mind to. And then... when you was all wore out, I'd lift you up onto that surrey, jump up alongside of you and... We'd just point the horses home. I can see the stars gettin' blurry When we ride back home in the surrey Ridin' slowly home in the surrey With the fringe on top I can feel the day gettin' older Feel a sleepy head near my shoulder Noddin', droopin', close to my shoulder Till it falls, "kerplop" The sun is swimmin' on the rim of a hill The moon is takin' a header And just as I'm thinkin' all the Earth is still A lark'll wake up in the meader Hush! Hush, you bird! My baby's a sleepin' Maybe got a dream worth a keepin' Whoa, you team, an' just keep a creepin' At a slow clip, clop Don't you hurry with the surrey With the fringe on the top

Laurey sighs contentedly

Rooster crowing

WOMAN

On'y... On'y, ain't no sich rig. You just said you made the whole thing up. Well -- Why'd you come around here with your stories and lies, gettin' me all worked up that a-way? Talkin' 'bout the sun swimmin' on the hill, and all-like it was so. -Laurey -- -Who'd want to ride 'longside of you anyway? Oh, whyn't you just grab her and kiss her when she acts that-a-way, Curly? She's just achin' for you to, I bet. Oh, I won't even speak to him, let alone 'low him to kiss me, the braggin', bow-legged, wish't-he-had-a sweetheart bum! She likes you... Quite a lot. Yeah! If she liked me any more she'd sic the dogs onto me. Listen, Aunt Eller, I... I got to know somethin'. Who's the low, filthy sneak 'at Laurey's got her cap set for? -Oh, that's you. -Never mind that. They must be plenty of men a-tryin' to spark her. And she surely leans to one of 'em, now don't she? Well, now, they is that fine farmer, Jace Hutchins, just the other side of Lone Ellum. And then of course, there's that ole widderer man over at Claremore, makes out he's a doctor or a vet'nary. That's what I thought.

Dog barking

CURLY

Hello. -Hello, yourself. And, uh, then of course there's someone much nearer home got her on his mind most of the time, so's he can't know a plow from a thrashin' machine. Him? Yeah, Jud Fry. That bullet-colored, growly man? Now, don't you say nothin' agin' him! He's the best hired hand I ever had! Just about runs this farm by hisself. Well, two women couldn't do it, you ort' know that. Laurey'd take up with a man like that! I never said she took up. I know, but he's around all the time, ain't he? -He lives here. -In the smokehouse! -Hi, Eller. -Mornin', Ike. We're goin' over to th' station. You need anythin' in Claremore? You can take me with you. There's sumpin on that train I gotta pick up. Personal. Hey, Curly. Oh, hey Slim. -Y'get it? -Did I get what? D'you get the wagon hitched?

ELLER

Wagon? What wagon? Uh, yeah. They's a crowd of folks comin' from Bushyhead to the Box Social. Curly said maybe you'd loan us your big wagon, take 'em over to Mr. Skidmore's ranch. Well, sure I would, if'n he'd ask me. Yeah, I just got talkin' 'bout a lot of other things. But I'll go hitch up the horses now if you say it's all right. -Curly. -Time we got goin'. Now, why don't you ask the girls in Bushyhead to stop by here and freshen up? It's a long way to Mr. Skidmore's. Thanks for the loan of the wagon, Aunt Eller. That's all right.

Indistinct chatter

ELLER

Aunt Eller! Hey! Hi, Will! Hi, Aunt Eller! What happened at the fair? How'd you do in the steer ropin'? Aww, I did purty good. I won it. -Good boy! -Always knowed y'would. Hey, what happened? Oh, I can't stay but a minute, Aunt Eller. I got to get over to Ado Annie. Don't you remember, her paw said if I ever was worth fifty dollars -I could have her. -Fifty dollars! Is that what they give you for prize money? -That's what! Lands! If'n Annie's paw keeps his promise we'll be dancin' at your weddin'.

Laughter

ELLER

Well, if he don't keep his promise I'll take her from right under his nose, and I won't give him the present I brung for him. Looky here, fellers, what I got for Ado Annie's paw! You put it up to your eye, like this. Then when you get a good look, you turn it at the top and the pitcher changes. No tellin' what you been up to. I bet you carried on plenty in Kansas City. Well, I wouldn't exactly call it carryin' on. But I sure did see some things I never see before. I got to Kansas City on a Frid'y By Sattidy I learned a thing or two 'Cause up to then I didn't have an idy Of what the modern world was comin' to! I counted twenty gas buggies Goin' by themselves! Almost ev'ry time I took a walk Then I put my ear to a Bell Telephone And a strange woman started in to talk! What next? -Yeah what! -What next? Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as fur as they c'n go! They went and built a skyscraper seven Stories high! About as high as a buildin' orta grow Ev'rythin's like a dream in Kansas City It's better than a magic lantern show! Y' c'n turn the radiator on Whenever you want some heat With ev'ry kind o' comfort Ev'ry house is all complete You c'n walk to privies in the rain And never wet your feet! They've gone about as fur as they c'n go Yes sir! They've gone about as fur as they c'n go! Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as fur as they c'n go! They got a big theayter they call a burleeque For fifty cents you c'n see a dandy show Girls! One of the girls was fat and pink and pretty As round above as she was round below I could swear that she was padded From her shoulder to her heel But later in the second act When she began to peel She proved that ev'rythin' she had was absolutely real! She went about as fur as she could go Yes sir! She went about as fur as she could go! What you doin'? Two-step. That's all they're dancin' nowadays. The waltz is through. Catch on to it? A one and a two-a one and a two. Course they don't do it alone. C'mon, Eller!

Eller shouts

ELLER

And that's about as fur as I c'n go! Yes, sir! And that's about as fur as she c'n go!

Instrumental

ELLER

-What you doin' now, Will? -Rag-time! Seen a couple a fellers doin' it on the street. Come on, fellas! Pick this one up! Come on, now! Two-step! All right, fellas, here we go! Hey, come on, Cork! Come on over here! You cut that out, Will! I said cut that out, Will! No, I'm telling you, stop that, no! Hold on now, watch my feet. Look at that! Oh, that's mighty dainty, that's what that is, look at that! Hi, fellas! Whoo-hoo! Ain't she got a great smile? Thank you, ma'am! Hey, hey, hey, what's going on?! Come on, Will! Come on, now! Up, up! Up, up! Watch my feet now! Pick it up, now -- let's go! We've gone about as far as we can go We've gone about as far As we can go! Yah! Ali Hakim! Ali Hakim! Yoohoo! Ado Annie! Hello, Laurey. My, oh my! Miss Laurey! Jippity crickets, how high you have growed up! Last time I come through here, you was tiny like a shrimp, with freckles. Now look at you, whoo! A great big beautiful lady! Quit it a-bitin' me! If you ain't had no breakfast go and eat yerself a green apple. All right, all right, I take my things up to the house. No, no, no, I see you in a minute, Baby, huh? Bing! Ali Hakim! Will Parker's back from Kansas City. Will Parker! I didn't count on him bein' back so soon! I can see that! The peddler man's gonna drive me to the Box Social. I got up sort of a tasty lunch. Ado Annie! Have you tuck up with that Peddler-man! -Not yit. -But your promised to Will Parker, ain't your? Well, not what you might say promised. I just told him maybe. -Don't y' love Will no more? -'Course I do. They won't never be nobody like Will. Well, what about this peddler-man! They won't never be nobody like him, neither. Well, which one d'you like the best? Whatever one I'm with. Well you air a silly cow! Now, Laurey, you know they didn't nobody pay me no mind up until this year, on account of I was scrawny and flat as a beanpole. 'Nen I kind of rounded up a little and now the boys act diff'rent to me. -Well, what's wrong with that? -Nothin' wrong. I like it. I like it so much when a feller talks purty to me that I get all shaky from horn to hoof! Well, you just cain't go around kissin' every man that asts you! Didn't anybody ever tell you that? Yeah, they told me. It ain't so much a question of not knowin' what to do I knowed what's right an' wrong since I've been ten I heared a lot of stories An' I reckon they are true About how girls are put upon by men I know I mustn't fall into the pit But when I'm with a feller I fergit! Oh! I'm just a girl who cain't say no I'm in a terrible fix! I always say "Come on, let's go" Just when I orta say "Nix" When a person tries to kiss a girl I know she orta give his face a smack! But as soon as Someone kisses me I somehow sorta want to kiss him back! I'm just a fool when lights are low I cain't be prissy an' quaint I ain't the type that can faint How can I be what I ain't? I cain't say "no"! Whatcha gonna do when a feller gets flirty An' starts to talk purty Whatcha gonna do? S'posin' that he says that your lips are like cherries Or roses, or berries Whatcha gonna do? S'posin' that he says that your sweeter than cream And he's gotta have cream or die? Whatcha gonna do when he talks that way? Spit in his eye? No...! I'm just a girl who cain't say no Cain't seem to say it at all I hate to disserpoint a beau When he is payin' a call For a while I act refined and cool A settin on the velveteen settee And then I think of that ol' golden rule And do for him what he would do for me! I cain't resist a Romeo In a sombrero and chaps Soon as I sit on their laps Somethin' inside of me snaps I cain't say no! It's like I tole you, I just git sorry for 'em! Well, I wouldn't feel sorry for no man, no matter what! But see, with Ali Hakim now -- Ali Hakim! Is that his name? Yeah, it's Persian.

Giggles

ELLER

You sure for certain you love him better'n you love Will? Well, I was sure, and now that ol' Will has to come back home and first thing you know he'll be talkin' purty to me and changin' my mind back! But Will wants to marry you. Well, so does Ali Hakim. The peddler?! Did he ast your? Well, not directly. But how I know is he said to me this mornin' when we was ridin' in his buggy that he wanted for me to drive like that with him to the end of the world. Well, if we only drove as fur as Catoosie that'd take till sundown, wouldn't it? Nen we'd have to go som'eres and spend all night together, and bein' together all night means he wants a weddin', don't it? Not to a peddler it don't! Hey, Aunt Eller! Hi, yourselves. Why, it's that peddler! One that sold me that eggbeater! Hey! Peddler man! Hold your horses! I want to talk to you. You 'member what you told me? Hmm? Tol' me that eggbeater'd beat up eggs and wring out my dishrags, and turn my ice-cream freezer, and I don't know what all! All right! If the eggbeater don't work 1 give you something just as good! Just as good! It better be a thousand million times better! Now, Aunt Eller, just listen -- I ain't your Aunt Eller! Don't you call me Aunt Eller, you little wart.

Snickering

ELLER

Well, don't anybody want to buy something? How about you, Miss Laurey? Come on, must be wanting something -- a pretty young girl like you. Me? Course I want sump'n. I want a buckle made outta shiny silver to fasten onto my shoes! Want a dress with lace. Want perfume, wanna be pretty, want to smell like a honeysuckle vine! Give her a cake of soap. Want things I've heard of and never had before -- a rubber-t'ard buggy, a cut-glass sugar bowl. Want things I... can't tell you about. Not only things to look at and hold in your hands, but things to happen to you. Things so nice, if they ever did happen to you, your heart'd quit beatin'! You'd fall down dead.

ALI

I've got just the thing for you! The Elixir of Egypt! What's 'at? It's a secret formula, -belonged to Pharaoh's daughter! -Smellin' salts. But a special kind of a smelling salts. Read what it says on the label here, huh? "Take a deep breath and you see everything clear." Oh, fiddlesticks! I'll take a bottle of this, Mr. Peddler. Precious stuff. -How much? -Two bits. Throwin' away your money! "Helps you to decide what to do." Now, don't you want me to show you some pretty doodads? You know, with lace around the bottom here, and pretty ribbons running in and out? What, you mean fancy drawers? All made in Paris.

ELLER

Well, I -- I don't wear that kind myself, but I shore do like to look at 'em. Yeah, they's all right if you ain't goin' no place. Why don't you bring your trappin's inside -- maybe I'll find you sump'n to eat and drink. Ma'am.

Whispering

ELLER

Ast him, why don't you? Ali, me and Laurey've been havin' a argument. About what, Baby? About what you meant when you said that about drivin' with me to the end of the world. Well, I didn't mean really to the end of the world. Well, then, how far do you want to go? Oh...

Chuckles

ELLER

About as far as, say, uh, Claremore, to the hotel. What's at the hotel? In front of the hotel is a veranda. Inside is a lobby. Now, upstairs might be Paradise. I thought they was just bedrooms!

Ali laughing

ELLER

No! No, for you and me, Baby, Paradise! Y'see! I knew I was right and Laurey was wrong! You do want to marry me, don't you? Eh -- What did you say? I said you do want to marry me, don't you. What did you say? I didn't say nothing!

WILL

Yoohoo, Ado Annie, it's me, I'm back! Oh, foot! Just when, uh -- 'Lo, Will! That's Will Parker. Ado Annie! How's my honey-bunch? How's the sweetest 110 pound of sugar in the territory? Will, this is Ali Hakim. How are ya, Hak? Don't mind the way I talk. It's all right. I'm goin' to marry her. Marry her? On purpose? -Well, sure. -No such of a thing! No, no! It's a wonderful thing to be married. Ali! I got a brother in Persia, got six wives. Six wives? Got another brother in Persia got only one wife. He's a bachelor. -Come here, come here. -Look, Will Look, Will, nothin'. Know what I got for first prize at the fair? Fifty dollars!

Annie squeals

WILL

Oh, fifty dollars! Catch on? Your Paw promised I could marry you 'f I cud git fifty dollars. -'At's right, he did. -Know what I done with it? Spent it all on presents for you! But if you spent it, then you ain't got the cash. what I got is worth more'n the cash. Feller who sold me the stuff told me! But, Will! Stop sayin' "But, Will"! When do I get a little kiss? Oh, Ado Annie, honey, y'aint been off of my mind since I left. All the time at the fair-grounds, even when I was chasin' steers. I'd rope one under the hooves and pull him up sharp, and he'd land on his little rump... Nen I'd think of you. Don't start talkin' purty, Will. See a lot of beautiful gals in Kansas City. Didn't give one a look. How could you see 'em if you didn't give 'em a look? I mean I didn't look lovin' at 'em... like the way I look at you. Oh, Will, please don't look at me that way! I cain't bear it. Ain't gonna stop lookin' like this till you give me a little ole kiss. Oh, what's a little ole kiss? No! No. No, I won't! S'posin' 'at I say 'at your lips're like cherries Or roses or berries? What you gonna do? Cain't you feet my heart palpatatin' an' a-bumpin' Waitin' for sumpin -- sumpin nice from you? I gotta git a kiss An' it's gotta be quick or I'll jump in a crick an' die! What's a girl to say when you talk that-a-way?

Indistinct chatter

WILL

Well, now, howdy. How y'all doin'? Good to see you. Oh, what a beautiful mornin'

ALL

Oh, what a beautiful day

CURLY

I got a beautiful feelin'

ALL

Ev'rythin's goin' my way

Laughter

ALL

Hey, don't forget, Aunt Eller, you and me's got a date together. And if you make up a nice lunch, well, maybe I'll bid for it. How we gettin' there, Curly? In that rig you made up? I'll ride a-straddle of them lights a-winkin' like lightnin' bugs! That there ain't no made-up rig, you hear me? I hired it over to Claremore.

ELLER

Lands, you did?

CURLY

Sure did. Purty one, too. Changed my mind about cleanin' the hen house today. Leavin' it till tomorrow. I got to quit early 'cause I'm driving Laurey over to the party tonight. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're drivin' Laurey? Ast her. Curly, whyn't you take the wagon down to the troft and give the team some water. Yeah. Right away, Aunt Eller.

Whistles for the horses

CURLY

At's a right smart turnout. The wheels are yeller the upholstery's brown The dashboard's genuine leather With isinglass curtains you can roll right down In case there's a change in the weather Can I come, too, Curly? Just love to watch the way you handle horses. That's about all I can handle, I guess. Oh, I can't believe that! Not from what I heared about you! Ain't no finer rig I'm a thinkin' 'At I'd keer to swap For that shiny little surrey with the fringe on the top

ELLER

Come on boys, better git these hampers out under the trees where it's cool. Looks like Curly's took up with that Cummin's girl. Aww, what'd I care about that? Well, I thought Curly was 'spose to be stuck on you. Well, I'll say he ain't stuck on her no more! Seein' is believin'. Bye, Bye Curly. -Stop it! -That's right! You'll make her cry! How'd y' like it if you lost your man?! It's all right! Don't you pay 'em no mind, Laurey. Why should a woman who is healthy and strong Blubber like a baby If her man's goes away? A weepin' an' a wailin' how he's done her wrong That's one thing you'll never hear me say! Never gonna think that the man I lose Is the only man among men! I'll snap my fingers to show I don't care I'll buy me a brand new dress to wear I'll scrub my neck And I'll brush my hair And start all over again! Many a new face will please my eye Many a new love will find me Never have I once looked back to sigh Over the romance behind me Many a new day will dawn before I do! Many a like lad may kiss and fly A kiss gone by is bygone Never have I asked an August sky "Where has last July gone?" Never have I wandered through the rye Wondering "where has some guy gone?" Many a new day Will dawn before I do

Instrumental

ELLER

Well, goodbye. And some more. Many a new face will please my eye Many a new love will find me Never have I once looked back to sigh Over the romance behind me Many a new day will dawn before I do Never have I chased the honeybee Who carelessly cajoled me Somebody else Just as sweet as he Cheered me and consoled me Never have I wept Into my tea Over the deal someone doled me Many a new day will dawn Many a red sun will set Many a blue moon will shine Before I do! Many a red sun will set Many a blue moon will shine Before I do!

Ali laughing

ELLER

Thanks a lot. Ali Hakim! Hello, kiddo. I sure am sorry to see you so happy, 'cause what I got to tell ya is gonna make ya miserable. I got to marry Will. Oh, well, that's sad news for me. Well, he is a fine fellow. Don't try to hide your feelings, Ali. I cain't stand it! I'd rather you just come right out and say your heart is busted in two. Are you positive you got to marry Will? Sure's shootin'! And there is no chance for you to change your mind? No chance. All right, then, my heart is busted in two. Oh, Ali, you do make up purty things to say! That you, Annie? Hello, Paw. -What you been shootin'? -Rabbits. That true what I hear about Will Parker gettin' fifty dollars? That's right, Paw. And he wants to hold you to your promise. Too bad.

Spits

ELLER

Still and all I can't go back on my word. See, Ali Hakim! I advise you to get the money off'n him 'fore he loses it all. Put it in your stockin' or inside your corset where he cain't get at it. Or can he? Uh, but, Paw, he ain't exackly kep' it. He spent it all on presents --

ANDREW

You see! I told you! Now he cain't have you. I said it had to be fifty dollars cash. But, is that fair, Mr. Carnes? -Who the hell are you? -This is Ali Hakim. Well, shut your face, or I'll fill your behind so full of buckshot, you'll be walking around like a duck the rest of your life. Ali... if I don't have to marry Will, maybe your heart don't have to be busted in two like you said! I did not say that. You tryin' to make out that my daughter's a liar? No, I'm just making it clear what a liar I am if she's telling the truth. What else you been sayin' to my daughter? Oh, a awful lot. When? Las' night, in the moonlight. -Where? -'Longside a haystack. Listen, Mr. Carnes -- I'm listenin'! What you been sayin'? He called me his Persian kitten. Why'd you call her that? I don't remember. I do. He said I was like a Persian kitten 'cause they was the cats with the soft round tails. That's enough. In this part of the country that better be a proposal of marriage. -See, that's what I thought. -What do you think? -Look, Mr. Carnes -- -I'm lookin'! I'm no good. I'm a peddler. A peddler travels -- up and down and all around and you'd hardly ever see your daughter no more. That'll be all right. Take care of her... son. Take care of my little rosebud. Oh, Paw, that's purty. You sure for certain you can bear to let me go, Paw? Are you sure, Mr. Carnes? Just try changing my mind, see what happens to you. Oh, Ali Hakim, ain't it wonderful, Paw makin' up our mind for us? He won't change, neither. Once he gives his word that you can have me, well, you've got me! I know I got you. Mrs. Ali Hakim, the Peddler's bride! Wait till I tell the girls. Fathers with shotguns! Trapped...! Tricked! Hoodblinked! Hambushed! Friend, what's on your mind? Why do you walk around and around With your hands folded behind And your chin scrapin' the ground? Twenty minutes ago I am free like the breeze -- free like a bird in the woodland wild, free like a gypsy, free like a child -- I'm unattached! Twenty minutes ago I can do what I please, flick my cigar ashes on a rug, dunk with a donut, drink from a jug -- hey, I'm a happy man!

Laughs, groans

ANDREW

I'm minding my own business like I oughter, ain't meanin' any harm to anyone, I'm talking to a certain farmer's daughter, and then I'm looking down the muzzle of a gun! It's getting so you cain't have any fun! Every daughter has a father with a gun! The gun they got under there, you know with the... It's a scandal! It's a outrage! How a gal gets a husband today! If you make one mistake when the moon is bright Then they tie you to a contract So you'll make it ev'ry night! It's a scandal! It's a outrage! When her family surround you and say "You gotta take and make an honest woman outta Nell!" To make you make her honest, she will lie like hell! It's a scandal! It's a outrage! On our manhood, it's a blot! Where is the leader who will save us? And be the first man to be shot? -What, me? -Yes, you! -Get outta here! -It's a scandal! It's an outrage! Just a wink and a kiss and you're through! You're in a mess, and in less than a year, by heck! There's a baby on your shoulder Making bubbles on your neck! It's a scandal! It's a outrage! Any farmer will tell you it's true A rooster in a chicken coop is better off'n men He ain't the special property of just one hen! It's a scandal! It's a outrage! We would fight if we were drilled We've got to make a revolution So you make hay while I get killed! Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Come here. Fathers with shotguns -- aah! Fathers with shotguns -- aah! -Come on! Aah! -Aah! -Aah! -Aah! -Aah! Aah! -Aah! Aah! Aah! Revolution! Revolution. It's a problem we must solve! We've gotta start a revolution! All right, boys -- revolve! It's a scandal! It's a outrage! It's a problem you must crack! Look, there he is! I've got the answer I go away and don't come back!

Indistinct chatter

ANDREW

Better get your hamper packed. Phew! We sure do have a lot of company. Hello, Laurey. Just packin' your hamper now? I been busy. You got gooseberry tarts, too. Wonder if they is as light as mine. Mine'd like to float away if you blew on 'em. I did blow onto one of mine, and it broke into a million pieces.

Cackling

ANDREW

Oh, ain't she funny! Gertie, why don't you come inside and cool off.

Curly sighs

ANDREW

You comin' inside with me, Curly? Not just yet. Well, don't be too long. And don't forget, when the auction starts tonight, mine's the biggest hamper!

Gasps, cackles

ANDREW

So, that's the Cummin's girl I heared so much talk of. You seen her before, ain't you? Yeow. But not since she got so old. Never did see anyone get so peeked-lookin' in sich a short time. Yeah, and she says she's only eighteen. I betcha she's nineteen! What you got in your hamper? Oh, just some ole meat pies and apple jelly. Nothin' like what Gertie Cummins has got in her basket.

Cackling like Gertie

ANDREW

So, you really goin' to drive to the Box Social tonight with that Jud feller?

Laughs

ANDREW

Reckon so. Why? Nothin'. It's just that ev'rybody seems to expec' me to take you. Then maybe it's just as well you ain't. We don't want people talkin' 'bout us, do we? Why? You think people do talk about us? Oh, you know how they are, like a swarm of mudwasps. Always gotta be buzzin' 'bout sump'n. Well, what're they sayin'? Oh, that you're stuck on me? Unh-uh. Most of the talk is that you're stuck on me. Wow! I can't imagine how these ugly rumors start. Me neither. Why do they think up stories that link my name with yours? Why do the neighbors chatter all day behind their doors? I know a way to prove what they say is quite untrue Here is the gist A practical list of "don'ts" for you Don't throw Bouquets at me Don't please my folks too much Aunt Eller? Don't laugh at my jokes too much People will say we're in love Who laughs at your jokes? Don't sigh and gaze at me

Curly yawns

ANDREW

Your sighs Are so like mine Your eyes mustn't glow like mine People will say We're in love! Don't start collecting things Whoa, whoa, whoa, like what? Give me my rose and my glove Uh, no, no, no, no. Sweetheart, they're suspecting things People will say we're in love Some people claim that you are to blame As much as I Why do you take the trouble to bake my fav'rite pie? Granting your wish I carved our initials on the tree Just keep a slice of all the advice You give so free Don't praise --

Spits

ANDREW

My charm too much

Scoffs

ANDREW

Don't look so vain with me Vain? Don't stand in the rain with me People will say we're in love Don't take my arm too much Let go. Don't keep your hand in mine Your hand feels so grand in mine People will say we're in love!

Yelps in pain

ANDREW

Don't dance all night with me Till the stars fade From above They'll see it's all right with me People will say We're in love!

Chuckling

ANDREW

Don't you reckon y'could just tell that Jud feller you'd rather go with me tonight? Curly -- Hmm? No, I -- I couldn't. Oh, you couldn't? Well, I think I'll go down to the smokehouse where Jud's at. Just to see what's so elegant 'bout him, makes girls wanna go to parties with him. -Curly! -What?! Nothin'. Don't sigh and gaze at me Your sighs Are so like mine Your eyes Mustn't -- Ya got your hamper packed? Oh, Aunt Eller... yes, nearly. You like a hanky? What'd I want with a ole hanky? Well, you got a smudge on your cheek. No, just under your eye. Aunt Eller, don't go to Skidmore's with Curly tonight. If you do, I'll have to ride with Jud all alone. Well, that's the way you wanted it, ain't it? No! I did it because Curly was so fresh. But I'm afraid to tell Jud I won't go with him, Aunt Eller. He'd do sumpin' terrible. Well, you ever been down to that ole smokehouse where he's at? Yeah, plen'y a times. Did you see them pitchers he's got tacked onto the walls? Yeah, I seed them. But don't you pay them no heed. Sumpin' wrong inside a him, Aunt Eller. I hook my door at night and fasten my winders agin it. -Agin it... -What? And the sound of feet walkin' up and down out there under that tree outside my room. Laurey! I know what I'm talkin' about! You crazy young 'un! Now, you stop actin' like a chicken that's had its head cut off! Laurey! Now, Laurey, I got to thinkin' 'bout how you don't have a right lot to wear, 'ceptin' your mother's ole weddin' dress. And I, well, I saved up my pennies and, uh... I got y' sumpin'. What is it? Well, now... Aunt Eller! Thank you so much! Try it on, yes.

Dog barking, hogs snorting

Knocking

ANDREW

Well, open it, cain't you? Howdy. What do you want? Uh, well, I done got through my business up here at the house. I just thought I'd pay a call. You got a gun, I see. Good un. Colt.45. Whoo-wee, what do you do with it? Shoot things. Oh. Eh, that there pink picture's a naked woman, now, ain't it? Your eyes don't lie to you. Shucks, that ain't a thing to what I got here. Take a look at that top one. Whew! I'll go blind! That'd give me idys, that would. That's a dinger, that is. Yeah, that sure is a dinger. Hey, that's a good-lookin' rope you got there. Hey, you know Will Parker? Yeah, well, he -- he can sure spin a rope. Ooh! That's a strong hook you got there, Jud You could hang yourself on that. I could what? Uh, uh, hang yourself. Well, it'd be as easy as fallin' off a log! In five minutes, or less, with good luck, you'd be, uh... You'd be dead as a doornail. What d'you mean by that? Well, then, uh, then folks would come to your funeral and sing sad songs. -Eh... -Oh, they would! Oh, you never know how many people like you till you're dead.

Chuckles

ANDREW

You know... You'd prob'ly be laid out in that parlor... All decked out in your best suit, your hair combed down slick, and a high starched collar. Then folks'd gather round you, and the men would bare their heads and the women, phew, the women'd sniffle softly. Well, some'd probably faint. You know, the ones that took a shine to you when you was alive. What women ever took a shine to me? Oh, lots of women! They sure would sing loud though when the singin' started, sing like their hearts would break! Poor Jud is dead, poor Jud Fry is dead All gather 'round his coffin now and cry He had a heart of gold And he wasn't very old Oh, why did such a feller have to die? Poor Jud is dead, poor Jud Fry is dead He's lookin' oh so peaceful and serene And serene! He's all laid out to rest With his hands acrost his chest His finger nails have never been so clean Then the preacher'd get up and he'd say, "Folks, we are gathered here to moan and groan over our brother Jud Fry, who hung himself up by a rope and smokehouse," and then there'd be weepin' and wailin' from some of those women. No, then he'd say, "Jud was a most misunderstood man in the territory. People used to think that he was a mean, ugly fella, and they called 'im a dirty skunk and a ornery pig stealer! But the folks that really knowed 'im Knowed that neath them dirty shirts he always wore There beat a heart as big as all outdoors As big as all outdoors Jud Fry loved his fella man He loved his fella man He loved the birds of the forest and the beasts of the field. He loved the mice and the vermin in the barn. And he treated the rats like equals. Which was right! Oh, and he loved the little children! Oh, no, no, no, he loved everybody and everything in the whole world. Only he'd never let on, so nobody ever noted. Poor Jud is dead, poor Jud Fry is dead His friends all weep and wail for miles around Miles around! The daisies in the dell Will give out a different smell Because poor Jud is underneath the ground Poor Jud is dead A candle lights his head He's layin' in a coffin made of wood Wood And folks are feelin' sad 'Cause they used to treat 'im bad And now they know their friend has gone for good Good Poor Jud is dead a candle lights his head He's lookin' oh so pretty and so nice

Shushing

ANDREW

He looks like he's asleep It's a shame that he won't keep But it's summer and we're runnin' out of ice Poor Jud Poor Jud! Yes, sir... That's how it'd be. That sure would be an interestin' funeral. I wouldn't want to miss it. Wouldn't want to miss it, huh? Well, maybe you will. Maybe you'll go first. Yeah, maybe. Eh --

Coughs

Jud laughing

ANDREW

Let's see now, hey, where'd you, uh -- where'd you work at before you come up here? Was up by Quapaw, wasn't it? Yeah, and before that, over by Tulsa. Lousy they was to me, both of 'em. Always makin' out they were better. Always treatin' me like dirt. And what'd you do? Didja get even? Well, if it ever come to gettin' even with somebody, I'd know how to do it. That?

Scoffs

ANDREW

Nah! There's safer ways than that, if you use your brain. You, uh, you 'member that fire on the Bartlett farm over by Sweetwater? Sure do, 'bout five year ago. Terrible accident. That burnt up the father and mother and daughter. Yeah, well, that there warn't no accident. A feller told me the hired hand was stuck on the Bartlett girl, and he found her in the hayloft with another feller. And it was him that burnt the place? Took him weeks to get up the kerosene, buying it up at different times.

Jud laughing

ANDREW

Feller who told me made out like it happened in Missouri, but I knowed all along it was the Barlett farm -- what a liar he was! And a kind of a kind of a murderer, too. Wasn't he? Let's get a little air in here. You ain't told me yet what business you have here. We ain't got no cattle to sell ya, ner no cow ponies. And the oat crop's done spoke for. You sure relieved my mind consid'able. There canly only one other thing you want on this farm, and it better not be that. But that's just what it is. You stay away from her, you hear? A fella wouldn't feel very safe in here with you, Jud. if he didn't know you. But I know you. In this country there's two things you can do if you're a man. Live out of doors is one. Or live in a hole is the other. And long as you live in a hole, you're scared. Yeah, you can have muscles like iron and still be as weak as an empty bladder, less'n you got things to barb your hide with. I mean, how'd you git to be the way you air, anyway? Sittin' here in this filthy hole, thinkin' the way you're thinkin? Why don't you do sumpin healthy once in a while, 'stead of stayin' shut up in here, crawlin' and festerin'!

Screams, fires pistol

ANDREW

I wisht you'd let me show you sumpin. Hmm? You see that knot-hole over there about as big as a dime? See it a-winkin'. I just want to see if I can hit it. Well, that's a bullet right through the center, slick as a whistle, 'thout touchin', didn't I? ELLER

from outside

ANDREW

: You hear that, where'd that come from? Someone's comin', I expect.

Eller's voice from outside

ANDREW

Who fired off that gun? Curly, was that you? Well, don't set there, you lummy, answer when you're spoken to! Well, I shot once. Well, what was you shootin' at? See that knot-hole over there? Well...ain't you a pair of purty nothin's, huh? A-pickin' away at knot-holes and scarin' everybody half to death! I orta give you Dutch rub and arn some the craziness out of you! It's all right! Ain't nobody hurt, just a pair of fools swappin' noises. Mind if I visit with you, gents?

Ali chuckles

ANDREW

It's good to get away from the women for a while, huh? Now then, we're all by ourselves. I got a few purties, private knickknacks for to show you. Special for the menfolks. I'll see you gentlemen later. I gotta git a surrey I hired for tonight. Hey, art postcards! Who you think your takin' in that surrey? Aunt Eller. And Laurey, if she'll come with me. She won't. Maybe she will. She promised to go with me, and she better not change her mind. She better not! Now, I want ye to look at these straight from Paris. I don't want none of them things now. I tell you what I'd like, if you got one. You ever heard of one of them things you call "The Little Wonder"? It's a thing you hold up to your eye to see pitchers, only that ain't all there is to it... not quite. It's got a little jigger onto it, and you tetch it and down springs a sharp blade. Y'say to a feller, "Look through this." And then when he's lookin', you snap out the blade. It's just above his chest, and then, "Bang"! Down you come.

Ali laughs incredulously

ANDREW

Well... That's a good joke to play on a friend... No, I don't like to handle things like that. They're too dangerous. Now, what I'd like to show you is my new stock of postcards. Sick of them things. I'm going to get me a real womern. You want a real woman, huh? Say, you ever happen to hear of a girl named Ado Annie? Ah, I don't want her. No... I don't want her either. But I got her! I don't want nuthin' from no peddler man! I want real things! What am I doin', crawlin' and a-festerin'? What am I doin' in this lousy smokehouse?

Orchestra playing

ANDREW

The floor creaks The door squeaks There's a field mouse a-nibblin' on a broom And I set by myself Like a cobweb on a shelf By myself in a lonely room But when there's a moon in my winder And it slants down a beam cross my bed And the shadder of a tree starts a-dancin' on the wall And a dream starts a-dancin' in my head And all of the things that I wish for Turn out like I want them to be And I'm better than that Smart Aleck cowhand Who thinks he is better than me! And the girl I want Ain't afraid of my arms And her own soft arms keep me warm And her long, tangled hair Falls across my face Just like the rain in a storm! The floor creaks The door squeaks And the mouse starts a-nibblin' on the broom And the sun flicks my eyes It was all a pack o' lies! I'm awake In a lonely room I ain't gonna dream 'bout her arms no more! I ain't gonna leave her alone! Goin' outside Get myself a bride Git me a woman To call my own

Indistinct chatter

ANDREW

And to yer house... a dark clubman. -You see that? -Oh! Come on now. Take a card! Girls, could you go som'eres else and tell fortunes? I gotta be here by myself. Look! She bought 'at ole smellin' salts the peddler tried to sell us! Well it -- It ain't smellin' salts! It's goin' to make my mind up for me. Well, lookit me take a good whiff now! That's the camphor.

Cackling

ANDREW

Please, girls, go away, Hey, Laurey, is it true you're gonna let Jud take you tonight 'stead of Curly? Tell you better when I think everythin' out clear. Beginnin' to see things clear already. I can tell you what you want. Out of your dreams and into his arms You long to fly You don't need Egyptian Smelling salts tell you why Out of your dreams and into the hush Of fallin' shadows When the mist is low And stars are breaking through Then out of your dreams you'd go

ALL

Into a dream come true Oh! Make up your mind, make up your mind Laurey Laurey dear Make up your own, make up your own story Laurey dear! Old Pharaoh's daughter won't tell you What to do Ask your heart Whatever it tells you will be true Ooh ooh ooh ooh Out of my dreams and into your arms I long to fly I will come as evening comes To woo a waitin' sky Out of my dreams and into the hush Of falling shadows When the mist is low And stars are breaking through Then out of my dreams I'll go Into a dream With you

Instrumental sequence

Western-themed instrumental

Church bells chime with music

Timpanis clash, music halts

Soft drumming

Ominous instrumental

Saloon music playing

Music stops

Score resumes

Laurey screams

ALL

No!

Whimpering

ALL

Laurey? Wake up, Miss Laurey. It's time to start for the party.

Cheers and applause