Finding Your Roots

I woke up in the morning to go to school, and my mom was in the kitchen on the phone with the 9-1-1 dispatcher, and I walked in and she's crying and uh, paramedics come, and they take him out and I have a split level house so you have to go down the steps to get to the front door. And I remember him like, winking as they pulled him out into the ambulance. And I remember thinking in my mind, I was like, that's probably it. Like, that's probably it. Like, it's just something unsaid. And they didn't let me go to the hospital because they thought I was too young and what have you. And so the next day I just wanted to keep it normal. And the next day obviously everyone's bringing food, and all these other people are grieving the loss. And I remember everybody was grieving, I was kind of like, I kinda have to hold it together. And so it wasn't really for about five or six years that it really just all hit at one time that he was gone and not coming back. Yeah, you repressed. Not anymore. I just look at a picture and I'm like, ah.