Director's Cut

>> The decisions you make today will have an effect on your future. And if you're moving forward, steering, and pushing yourself to limits that most people think and say is unattainable, those are the experiences that really make your future. I'm Bob Murray. I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I'm 34 years old, and I am single. I don't want to be single, but I am. I know there's someone out there for me; I just don't know where. This is the story of my journey to find her. >> Hi. Welcome to Director's Cut. I'm Pete Schwaba, and that was a clip from Date America, a film about a man online-dating his way across the country in order to find the perfect girl. I'm joined today by the film's director and lead actor, Bob Murray. Bob, welcome to Director's Cut. >> Yeah. Thanks for having me. >> You're welcome. Great to have you here. So, I don't know about you, but I would think if a girl gets a call from a guy from out of town who wants to date her and says he's going to film the whole thing, that would be met with some skepticism. Talk about these girls responses when you first contacted them. >> Well, I would go through, let's say, 600, I'd look at 600 online ads or on Facebook-- or not Facebook-- on OkCupid is what I used, and I would maybe email 60 to 80 of them. >> Okay. >> I would get probably 10 to 15 response. And of the 10 to 15 responses, all but one of them would say this sounds interesting, you sound like an interesting guy, but there's no way I'm going to let myself be filmed. And then there'd be one person in each city that would finally agree to be filmed. And when I met them in person and talked about it, most of them didn't think I was actually telling the truth. They thought I was lying. And so when I showed up with a film crew, which had two camera guys, a sound guy, an assistant and myself, they were pretty shocked. So nobody thought it was the real deal. They thought I was going to show up with a camcorder, which I thought would be really creepy. >> They fully expected to be killed that day. >> Right. >> They were surprised to see an actual film crew. That's... Wow! So, out of all those people, one, you got one? >> In every city, yes. It was never like I had a big choice between the women. >> That's crazy. >> It would be, yeah, one person. And then what happened on top of that was I thought I would start the trip, it was 21 days long, and I figured I had to have all the dates lined up because once I said, "Go," I had to pay for the crew and everything. >> Right. >> And I was on a very tight time schedule. So I was trying to set up all the dates. Well, what I didn't realize was after a week, there's not one girl in the US that I could find that was willing to set a date up two weeks in advance or three weeks in advance. Because to them it was admitting that, yeah, that's fine, three weeks is fine. I know I'm not going to find anyone, that's fine. So when I left Milwaukee, I had three dates lined up. By the time I got the first destination, or I had four dates lined up, by the time I got to the destination, I had two of those back out. So I only had two dates lined up by the time I left. So the rest of the time I was on the road, and I had a Blackberry back then-- which really sucked for the Internet-- and I was emailing people, any time I had, to try and get a date two days next. >> Wow. >> I actually had a friend in Milwaukee that was emailing. I had a canned email, and they were, one of the cities he was emailing women for Vegas. And he found a date, so I got a hold of her, like, two days beforehand. I said, "I'll see you in Vegas in a couple days." And she said, "Why do you keep talking about Vegas? I live in Dallas." He had sent to the wrong group of people. >> Oh, no. >> So it was really hard to find dates to do this. >> That's crazy. So, we're going to show another clip in just a few seconds here, but what was it like putting yourself out there front and center? This is your first film. >> Yeah, I mean, I guess I'm a person who has no shame. So, to me, I've done enough things, and I think if you watch the movie, you'll see a lot of my friends that mention things I've done in the past that are pretty embarrassing. I edited it so I allowed it to be in there. So I had no shame. So, for me, it was fine. For the women, it was really difficult. So most of the dates we were on lasted for probably, the shortest was four hours, the longest was 16 hours. >> Whoa. >> And the average day was probably eight to ten hours long. So it gave them enough time to, at least, warm up to the cameras and, hopefully, be relaxed because a lot of them were taking shots in the bar when I met them because they were so nervous about it, yeah. >> Well, let's see another clip from Date America. >> So what do you think about this trip? >> I think it's you. You've always been adventurous. >> Do you think I'll find someone though? >> I don't know. It would be nice if you did. >> Today I'm going on my first online date. >> Oh. >> The girl tonight is a bisexual. >> Well, that's interesting. >> What are you asking? What are the qualifications? >> They say "yes."

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They have to be semi-attractive. I want them to have a focus for a career. I don't want them just drifting through life. This is the girl from today. I asked her if she had an Adam's apple, and she says she doesn't. >> Well, that's good. Then you're safe. >> So any advice for tonight's date? >> Whatever you're doing that wasn't working, don't do that. >> I think the problem hasn't been so much that the dates have gone bad for me, it's just finding somebody that I'm interested in. >> You're not going to find somebody who's going to have everything that you want them to have. >> Why not? >> Because there's nobody out there that has it. It just doesn't happen. Your dad likes hunting. I'm not going to go hunting. I don't know if you find anybody on this trip, but you might. You never know. >> If nothing else, it's going to teach you a few things about yourself. >> How did you guys meet?

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>> How did we meet? Nancy and Paul had the clothing store and he had gotten back from Vietnam and went down there. >> But I knew she was dating somebody, so, I... >> And then what? You were dating someone. >> Yeah, but he had just gotten transferred out of state. >> But you were still dating another guy when he called?

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Were you?

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>> You really put your folks on the spot there, Bob. >> Yeah. >> They seem like good sports, though. >> Yeah, they were real good sports. >> They seem supportive, but did they have reservations about this whole project? Your friends around you? >> I think everybody thought the same thing. It was like you're in college, you're at a party, like I'm going to bong this bottle of Jack Daniels. They're like, all right, that sounds, do it. And you're like, never think you'd do it. It's one of the situations where I talked about doing it, and everybody was just like, yeah, you should do it. In the back of their mind they're thinking that's stupid and dumb. And who would really do that? So I don't think anybody expected me to actually go through with it. And I did. I think my parents, at that point, they knew I was going to do it because I was a month away. But it was one of things that nobody could believe that it was going to happen. >> Yeah. >> So nobody knew what to say. They were supportive, but they didn't really know what was going to happen out of it. >> So what leads a guy to go to this extent to find a mate? Did you have bad luck dating? >> Well, I'd been single for probably two years, and this is in the middle of the recession, the "Great Recession." So life wasn't doing great for anybody, and I was in real estate, which was really bad at that point, and I knew that whatever I was doing wasn't working. I was going out to the bars every Friday, Saturday night. >> Yeah. >> I knew my group of friends. Like, I was doing the same thing over and over again and getting no results. So I figured if I want to really find somebody, I have to do something that's just really, take myself out of my comfort zone and do something that's nuts. And originally I was going to do a trip across America with a cab driver and not do dates, and then that turned into, "I'm single, let's go on dates." And I thought it would be a really great story if I met someone. And I met them on this trip. What a great story for the rest of your life. And I really thought I was going to find someone. When you buy a lottery ticket, you think you're going to win the lottery. When the chances are you're going to met somebody like this are probably slim to none. >> Right. >> But I really thought I was going to meet someone, and I thought it'd be a really cool way to do it. And, you know, maybe I'd end up in a different city outside of Milwaukee. >> Yeah. So you played a couple festivals, you said. Talk about your festival experience. What's it like watching it with a crowd? >> Yeah, so the first one was the Milwaukee Film Festival, which had a great, it was a great reaction. Lines out the door. The final night they had over 1,100 people at the Oriental Theatre on a Sunday night. And a lot of people I knew, in fact. I work at a bank, which is a pretty conservative job, and I sat next to the CEO of the bank in the theatre watching it next to him, which is kind of nerve-racking. But that's why you do a film. You do a film so people can see it, you get their reaction. And the reaction at the Milwaukee Film Festival was great. People loved it. People were laughing at all the parts I thought they were going to laugh and went away, people were going back to see it again. And then we went to the Beloit Film Festival, which is in Beloit, Wisconsin, which is a great international film fest. People from all over the world come there. >> Yeah. >> And in Beloit, it just, people really loved it there. And it actually won 'Best Audience' award there, the 'Best Documentary', and then they did a 10-year anniversary this year, and they went out and asked their members what their favorite film was the past ten years, and they chose Date America. >> Oh, nice. >> So I think it's a film that relates to a lot of people because everybody's been single. >> Yeah. >> A lot of people are skeptical with online dating. They want to know what it's like, whether or not they'd do it now or they'll never do it or they're older and they want to know what it's like. So it relates to so many people, and when you see it, it's not only about dating, it's like all these other people you meet on the road. It's kind of a life story. >> Yeah, you'd have to make a really horrible film to get fired from your job as a banker, though. So I think you're probably safe. >> Right, yeah. >> Let's see another clip from Date America. >> And that's pretty much it. Order up. Johnny! Hey, get out of my kitchen here. All right, let's go. >> Make yourself comfortable. >> Thank you.

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>> I like... Oh, that's me. Want to talk to my grandma? >> Okay. >> Do you? >> So she can make sure you're not duct taped up in the trunk of the car? >> Hello. >> Hey, Grandma. How you doing? >> Well, Bobby, where are you? I thought you were on a trip. >> I am. I'm in St. Louis right now. >> Oh, are you? Well, how's everything going? >> It's going good. I'm actually on a date as we speak. >> Oh, well that's nice. >> Hi, grandma. >> Well, hi! It's nice to meet you. >> It's nice to meet you, too. You kind of sound like my grandma. >> I do? >> Yeah. >> Because we're old. >> Actually, her grandma is dead, so that's not exactly a good compliment.

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>> You sound like my grandma did. >> You're in St. Louis, huh? >> St. Louis, yep. >> Do you like it? Did you see the Golden Arch or whatever it's called? >> Yeah, we stopped at McDonald's last night.

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>> Isn't where they have that huge arch? >> Yeah, it is. I think it's called the Gateway Arch. Is that what it is? >> Yeah, the Gateway. >> Yeah. And it's warm down here. It's like 75 degrees today, or 72. >> Wonderful! I bet you're glad to have that. >> Yeah, I finally get to take my tank tops out, which is nice. >> Well, you'll have to. We've got gorgeous weather, of course. Not a cloud in the sky. You'll have to come down. >> All right. I love you. >> I love you, too. Thanks for calling, and have fun. >> Okay. >> Which is really fun to watch with your wife. >> Bob, I would think when you call grandma on a first date, you're pretty much setting the carnal tone. >> Well. >> Talk about that decision. She called a family member, too, from the car. >> Yeah. >> Were you both trying to prove you weren't psychos, or something? >> Well, my grandma called and I like to talk to my grandma because she's game for anything. She's 92 or 93 right now. But, what's funny is that I'm married now, and the woman that I'm married to, the first date with her, I call my grandma, as well. >> Wow. >> So when she saw this movie, she's like, "Jeez." >> That's you're go-to move. >> She's like, "That was your go-to move?" So, yeah, my grandma, she's a lot of fun, so it was good to put her in the movie. >> Yeah, that's great. So when we spoke previously, you talked about the date and the procedure, but did you have to coddle any of these girls to get them, like you said, some of them were doing shots in the bar beforehand because they were so nervous, but is there one that you just said, "Oh, I can't believe we choose her." She was bad. >> Yeah, there was one that was awful. And it was in Dallas. It was the first date in Dallas. And I met her, I talked to her on the phone, she seemed pretty cool on the phone. I think this is one of the ones we met the night before or connected the night before, and when I saw her she was buying a drink at the bar, when I first walked in.

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I get to the location, and I send the film crew in and I'd say, "Interview her." So they'd interview her first, and then I'd come in afterwards. So I came in to see her, it's in the film, but it doesn't come out very well, but the question is always "Do you shake somebody's hand? Do you give them a hug? How do you greet somebody?" And... >> It is weird to hug, I think, the first time you meet someone. It's kind of intimidating. >> Well, that's what I did. I hugged her. >> Yeah. >> And I hug her and the first thing she says to me, she goes, "Oh, we're hugging."

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And I knew, I was like, "This is not going to be good at all. This is going to be awful." And I'm like, "What are you drinking?" She couldn't remember what she was drinking. I'm like, this is... So we sat down and she would not answer. It was like one-word answers. She wanted to get the hell out of there, and at one point, she told me she had to go home to do homework. And I'm like, "Did anybody check her age? Like, what am I doing?" I'm thinking, "She wants to go home and do homework?" She was going to college, I guess. >> You hope. >> So I said, "Well, maybe it's the cameras that are making everything awkward." So I send the film crew away for about 15-30 minutes. It wasn't any different. She wanted to get out of there. So I had the film crew come back and kept her there for another 45 minutes. Finally, she left and it was almost like I was entrapping her. I felt like if I held her there any longer, I could probably go to jail for something. >> You took hostages. >> Right. So she leaves, and five minutes later she pulls back into the driveway of the bar we're at, and I'm like, "Oh, my gosh, this is awkward." She had her credit card at the bar and she left her credit card there. So we had another awkward exchange. That was the most, that was the worst. I had a girl actually walk out on it, said she had to go to the bathroom and actually leave. Not this time, but some other time. But this is probably the second most awkward date I was on. And it didn't come across well in the film, but it was really tough being with her for four hours. >> That is hilarious. I have nothing to follow up with that. The question I have, won't follow that. Let's go to another clip from Date America.

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>> Whoooooo!!!

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>> Haaaa! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! >> Awesome. Thank you, Wally. >> What do you think of that? >> That was so much fun. Thank you. >> How was it? >> It was a rush. He's the best. Awesome. Yes. >> You love it? >> I love it!! Ahhhhh!! >> All right. >> I might reach down. If your arms are doing something goofy, you may feel me lift them up and get them back up where they need to be. >> I just want to feel that chute open. That's what I want to feel. I'm getting really quiet. >> You are? >> Yeah. >> Are you nervous? >> Yeah. >> Just going to climb straight into the back. You're going to sit on your butt.

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>> What do you think? >> I'm not that nervous right now, but when that door opens, it'll be a whole different story. [grass getting squashed during landing] >> Whoooo! >> Good job, man. Good landing. >> Way to go. >> What'd you think, Bob? >> Awesome, dude. I got to catch my breath. Holy cow! >> How was it? >> That free fall was phenomenal! >> Good?! Good?! >> You cheated death right there. >> One more day. Another day to live. >> Yes. >> I didn't realize there was so much cuddling involved in a skydive. Probably could have qualified for one of the dates there, Bob. >> Yeah. She was really cuddly, yes. Throughout the whole date. She was great, though. >> Yeah. >> All the dates I went on, except for the one girl, were really great people. >> Yeah. >> And maybe that one girl was probably a great person, maybe it was me. But, yeah, she really was a sweetheart. >> Talk about the risks involved. Like you do a skydive on a date, if something happened to her, you're like the worst. You got your own Vic Morrow situation there. >> I didn't even think about that. She's the one that wanted to do it. She's the one who suggested it. >> Oh, okay. >> And I said, "Let's do it." A month away, I figured she'd forget about it. She's like, "No, I really want to do it." So I called her bluff, or no, she called my bluff. The next thing I know, we're skydiving. But yeah, I didn't enjoy it. I'm afraid of heights. It's something I would never had done if I wasn't pressured by a woman to do it, which I've done a lot of dumb things trying to impress a woman. That's probably not the dumbest thing I did. I don't know what is. Women make you do a lot of things. >> It's behind you now. >> Yeah. >> Talk about, from a filmmaker's standpoint, is that a budget issue, like for insurance or do you have to get clearance or have her sign something? >> Well, no I didn't have her sign any waivers. I just figured if it went bad, she wouldn't be around to complain about it. So I had to figure that wasn't the case. But you had some insurance on the road, and I just never, I guess I never thought about what went bad. As far as the budget goes, I did budget a certain dollar amount for the dates. And up until I got to, let's say, Phoenix, most places we went to offer a lot of stuff for free. The skydiving wasn't free, but we did it on a Tuesday so it was a little cheaper. And every other place would give me free meals. So the dates weren't that expensive. Maybe we spent three grand on dates-- total. >> Okay. >> So it wasn't that bad in the overall budget. >> If that was me, I would have did what that girl did when she was skydiving. I would have left. Yeah. No way I would have done that. So, how many girls do you think wanted to see you again? Like, all the dates you had, could you have gotten more dates? Did they like you? How do you think you did? >> I think seven of the eight would have. >> Wow. That's a pretty good batting average. >> Or no, no. Well, one did go on a second date with me, which you'll see, but I would think, yes, seven of the eight would have definitely gone on a second date. And when I got done with the trip, I emailed all the girls and said, "Thanks so much for doing this and putting yourself out there," and one girl emailed back and said, "How'd it go?" And I wrote back and said, "I got married." (just joking) And she wrote back, she's like, "Oh, my God! I wouldn't be lying if I told you I wasn't a little disappointed." And I'm like, "What?" Because it was a girl I had no idea had an interest in seeing me again. >> Wow. >> It was actually a girl I probably was very interested in on the trip, and I said, "No, I'm just joking," and she wrote back. She actually flew up to Milwaukee. So two of the girls have been back to Milwaukee, my home town. So, two of the eight, I did see again after the movie was done. >> And they traveled to Milwaukee, to MKE. >> To MKE. >> That's impressive. >> One came back for work, and the other one just came up to see me. >> Okay. At one point, I thought you got this cab driver there, I thought there was going to be a romantic comedy moment where you found love all along. It was right there, driving you around the country. >> Yeah. So, Paula is a good person, and I say that--

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wasn't great on the trip for me, but I brought her along as a driver. I wanted somebody to banter with. I needed somebody to put me in my place and give me advice and let me know when I was being an idiot, and I thought she'd be the perfect person for it. She was afraid that I was going to edit it to make her look like a bad person, which was never my intention. >> Sure. >> My intention was actually to make her look great, to make me look worse. So, we spent 19 days together in the car, 20 days in the car together, and said very little to each other. It was the longest 60 hours I've had with somebody-- ever. And we had different taste in music. I mean, everything was different. >> You can make a silent film out of that part of it. >> I told the editor, I said, "Look at this. There's some tension between us." He's like, "You guys didn't even talk to each other. There's not much to even put in there." >> That's not the kind of tension you want. >> So we left the whole, we left her out of it. >> Yeah. >> But she did get numbers from people on the road. So as we're going, there was a couple guys that tried to pick her up. >> Let's see another clip from Date America. >> So many people in America is that they have all these dreams to do something, and they have no idea how to do it. A good example, doing this film. Whether or not this goes anywhere, I had absolutely zero idea, and I think the crew will attest to the fact that I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. The thing is that I figured a way to just go ahead and do it. I think just by doing something, you're well ahead of everybody else because people have no idea where to start. And here we are, two days from ending it. Now, I may determine a year from now that this whole trip I did was ridiculous and a waste of money and everything else, but at the end of it, even if it doesn't go anywhere, it was a great experience. Money will come and go, but experiences will never die. >> You always get to choose the future you have. What I will see as the most likely future and I will also see a potential future for you. There's always two. Okay? Pick your first card. There's some trust issues around women. I can already see that. >> You're saying trust based on not sure what they're feeling? >> Well, you're a man, how the hell are you going to know what a woman feels? Well, there is a way, but I ain't going to suggest it.

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Now, basically, be true to yourself and don't be misled by greed. That will distract you from what you're trying to do here, and it will definitely have consequences. You may have to go through a few more women before you find one. She's got to be intelligent, she's got to have class, and she's got to have spiritual energy around her. I do see you married to a dark-haired woman eventually whose name may begin with either an 'E' or a 'T'. Is there anything else you'd like to know, in closing? >> I think that's about it. >> I do have to forewarn you, you need to be very, very careful with your skin. Just remember that I told you that. >> That I do know. >> That's a psychic. Look at a fair-skinned guy and say, "Worry about your skin." >> It's the only thing he got right.

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>> So, this is interesting to me because this is the only film you've made, it's your first film, and when we talked to you, you said, "I don't know if I'll ever make another one." So, I don't talk to many filmmakers like you. Most people eat, sleep, and breathe it. >> Yeah. >> You're like this guy that just wanted to make a movie. And you're a banker by day, right? >> Right. So I wanted to do, I was sick of people, everybody has friends or people around them that always talk about doing something. And I wanted to prove that you can just do something no matter what your background is or what your expertise is. You can do whatever the heck you want. So mine was to make a film. And it started out as, "I just want to do a trip cross country," but I figured, "Let's make a film out of it and see where it goes." >> Yeah. >> And so I want to do it not only for myself, but I knew I'd have kids someday. I want to be able to show them something that if you're stuck in a rut and you're, let's say, in your 30s... >> Do something. >> You don't like what you're doing, you can change gears 100% and do something else, which this is. Go from banking to doing a movie. I don't think anybody's ever done that. >> We have about 20 seconds left. Give me some advice for all the serial daters that are watching out there. Tell them what to do. >> The easiest one is going on a date is just, all you're doing is basically it's an interview to see if it's somebody you want to hang out with. So don't get all stressed out. Is it somebody I'm going to marry? Is it somebody I'm going to be with long-term? You're just going out to have a good time with someone. Just treat it like you're going out with a friend, and you'll be a lot more successful on your dates. And don't try to, if you want to be interesting. The other thing is ask them questions. If you want to be the most interesting person in the world, it's not about what you tell them, it's what you ask them. If you ask a lot of questions, people go away thinking you're a really great, interesting person and will probably want to see you again. >> Be like Bob Murray, that's the advice. Thanks for being here, man. You're a great guest, and the film's great. Good luck with it. >> It was fun. Thanks. >> I wouldn't say he dated America, but he made a dent. Thanks for being here, Bob, and thank you for watching Director's Cut. For information on Date America, please go to

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and click on Director's Cut. While you're there, send us an email or find out how to submit a film. Also, don't forget to "like" WPT on Facebook or follow us on Twitter. I'm Pete Schwaba, and I don't skydive on the first date. We'll see you next time on Director's Cut. >> But you're not a full-fledged lesbian? >> No. Obviously not. My tendency is to date men more than it is women. >> When's the last time you French kissed a girl?

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>> Three weeks ago. >> Really? Can you tell me about it?

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