The Healing

-[ Nickering ] [ Nickering continues ] -Well, I was just... in my head, you know?

I like alcohol, and I was down in the dumps pretty bad.

I ended up overdosing on pills, you know?

I tried to kill myself 'cause I-I -- because I just felt alone, you know?

-[ Nickering continues ] -I remember once being in the supermarket, and, all of a sudden, I just had this feeling like I had this extra skin around me, and I couldn't move, and I didn't know where I was, and I didn't know where I was supposed to go or how to get home or where I lived.

It really scared me.

-[ Nickering continues ] -I couldn't think, couldn't do anything.

I was shaking.

It was awful.

I found it really hard to see that... it's still worth living for something.

-[ Imitates horse blowing ] -I'm not sure whether he'll turn around or whether he'll back up, so I'll try and bring him forward so you can get the pin undone.

-I'm good.

-So he's probably going to fire up.

He's never been anywhere but the racetrack, so this has got to look like Mars when he comes out of here.

-Just hang on a second.

-You all right?

Okay.

I'm ready.

-Steady, steady.

Good boy.

Good boy.

Steady.

Steady.

-Steady, steady, steady.

Steady.

Good boy.

-Good boy.

Good -- Good boy.

Walk up.

Walk up.

Good boy.

Good boy.

Good boy.

[ Clicks tongue ] Steady, steady, steady, steady, steady, steady, steady.

Good boy.

You all right?

Good boy.

Here we go.

Come on.

Let's go in here for a bit and get you sorted, all right?

The main problems for ex-racehorses when they come off the track are not that different to the PTSD suffered by some of the soldiers.

There's this hyperattentiveness, alertness, to what's going on around them.

They've had a very poor education.

They've been institutionalized, so they're used to coming out every morning, having their gallop, and going back to the stables, so when you ask them to do anything outside that box, it becomes quite a big deal to them.

Good boy, good boy.

Don't have to gallop.

It's a little bit strange, isn't it?

A bit like the soldiers when they come out of the service and they can't walk out onto the street and just be normal people anymore because they've been highly trained and they're overalert and angry and aggressive, and they struggle with real life in the real world, and they just fall in a screaming heap.

People don't understand that they can both be fixed.

-[ Speaking indistinctly ] You know, you guys are going to see lots of parallels in what I'm about to talk about now.

The horses are trained to, you know, an incredible level of fitness, and they're asked to compete at a high level under a lot of stress, and they become machines for that specific purpose.

You know, some horses retire from racing that are -- that are injured and so mentally messed up that, you know, 9 times out of 10, they're unfixable for most people.

The things that they've learnt made the really good at what they did but sort of almost make them useless when they're finished doing what they did well.

-I was discharged from the Navy in February last year, um, so -- and then I had nowhere to live.

The Navy shattered my confidence completely, and I was a very confident person before.

-I've done courses and stuff at hospitals and things and struggled to do anything.

-Three different psychologists talked to me, had, um, inpatient and then an outpatient program through St. John of God, which was good, but it -- it really wasn't, um, helping me get to that next stage.

-[ Blows ] [ Snorts ] [ Snorts ] [ Snorts ] -So what I want to do when I get the thoroughbreds out of that yard over there, we'll, um, bring them straight across here through the draft horses.

These guys will probably play out, so just keep your wits about you.

We'll take the rugs off in there.

Keep your wits about you as we come through here.

Then we're going to bring them into this yard here, and then we'll just let them go, let them have a run around, burn some beans off, and then we'll work out what we're going to do from there.

-Yep.

No worries.

-[ Nickers ] [ Wind blowing ] -They don't look too worried, the draft horses.

I thought they'd be all over us.

[ Wind gusts ] -You gotta go.

[ Horses whinny ] Stop, stop, stop 'em.

Stop 'em.

-You're all right.

It's all right.

You're all right.

[ Wind blowing ] Okay.

[ Hinges creaking, wind blowing ] Come here, mate.

Come here, mate.

Stand up.

Stand up.

All right.

So... we'll let them go together, all right?

So just undo the -- under the knot first.

And then when I say, "Go," we'll just let them go, eh?

[ Wind blowing ] You all right?

Okay.

Let him go.

[ Wind gusts ] Pretty keen to get out.

[ Both chuckle ] They'll come flying back up, and here they come.

[ Chuckles ] They're awesome to watch, aren't they -- how they gallop?

-Jesus.

-[ Snorts ] -Oh...

Right through it.

Okay?

Here they come again.

With a little bit of luck, they'll see the fence this time.

Steady, mate.

Steady, steady.

Good boy.

Good boy.

There you go.

He always goes hard, Baz.

Steady, steady, steady, steady, steady.

They're starting to settle now.

It's always a bit of a worry when you let them go the first time.

When they've spent their whole lives in post and rail and stables and they're coming out, they haven't seen a fence like that, you know?

So it's a big deal.

-Yeah.

-Like, well, they don't even see it.

They've got no idea of the understanding of what the wire is, you know?

So... -Yeah.

-I'm gonna do a bit of join-up.

What I want to do is do what a horse does in a -- in a herd situation.

When they go into a new herd, um, or if a new horse comes into the herd, the stallion will chase the horse until the horse is almost exhausted, and then he chases it some more and some more and some more until the horse realizes that he's not running away from this horse but he's actually being driven by this horse, and then the horse goes, "Please stop driving me and I'll come and be with you."

I want to put some pressure on him and make him move around the arena, and he might go around a bit out of control initially.

Probably not, but we'll see how we go.

And then what I want him to do is understand that when he faces me or when he comes towards me, I'm going to let the pressure off and make me the comfortable place to be.

Once he's wanting to be with me, then we can start to work on his education.

All right.

-[ Nickers ] -His concern about this other horse might fire up a little bit tied to the fence there.

We'll see how we go.

Trot up, mate.

[ Clicks tongue ] Trot up.

[ Clicks tongue ] Okay.

So, straight away, you're looking at that inside ear, and that inside ear is on me all the time he's -- And while he's got that inside here on me, I know that he's focused on what I'm doing.

If I move to him in a more aggressive way, then, obviously, he'll -- he'll be more responsive.

So I'm using that physical energy.

That's how a horse would make a horse move.

He'd go at the horse's bum like that, and the horse would move out of his way, so it's the same sort of thing.

I'm going to make him change direction... a bit aggressively.

Now, they can focus on a lot of things at once, but it's very, very important that I'm the most important thing in his mind at the moment and that he's got at least that one ear focused on me.

So he now is believing that I'm making him go forward.

It's pretty easy, but I know that he now believes that I'm the one that's making the decision to go forward.

He's not running away from me.

So what I want him to do now is face me.

When he turns and faces me, then I'm going to relax and let him relax.

[ Humming ] [ Imitates horse blowing ] So I've dropped the energy levels off and very, very quickly got him to understand that that's what I want him to do.

I want him to relax -- and then halt -- and be with me.

I know that looked really easy, but the chances are he may test your personalities a little bit more than he tests mine, and he may even, um, you know, try to -- try to run away from you.

-I was a chaplain in the Royal Australian Navy.

I had a bully on the ship that was totally pulling me down privately, taking me aside, pushing me around, knocking me, shouting down at me, swearing right in my face, and trying to, um, intimidate me.

Um, I was keeping all that to myself, and then the time I came off the ship, I just fell i-- fell to pieces.

And...halt.

Halt.

-One more step and you had him in.

Pretty confident.

-I decided this person should not get away with being treating anyone like that, and my integrity was questioned when I was standing up for the truth.

That killed me, I think, inside, and in the middle of all that going on, I was then, um, sexually assaulted by a senior sailor.

[ Clicks tongue ] [ Clicks tongue ] Good boy.

-Put him to sleep.

[ Chuckles ] -We're having a moment.

-I can see that.

I almost want to let you go.

[ Both laugh ] I can't tell you how many people have told me that I've saved their life or that horses have saved their lives.

Um... almost every veteran I've dealt with has made that comment at some stage.

Stand in the middle and create some energy.

Be a scary thing.

Honey, hands up.

Big, big noise -- noise!

Be assertive.

Be assertive.

-[ Clicks tongue ] Come on.

That way.

Go.

-Be as assertive as you need to get the result, you know?

As firm as we need to be and as soft as we can be is what we're after.

-Come on.

-Stallions drive.

They don't lead.

So drive him forward.

Get behind him whichever way you want him to go and drive him forward.

Just relax, mate.

You're doing all right.

You're doing all right.

He's got to work you out now.

Use your voice.

No, no, no.

Don't lead him.

You've got to get behind him.

You're trying to lead him.

You're pointing where you want him to go.

You want to be behind him, driving him forward, yeah?

'Cause this is what we do.

We lead people.

We go, "Hey, come with me, mate," you know?

Horses don't.

They get behind each other and drive each other forward, right?

So you have to think about different to what you think of as a person.

You've got to think as a horse would.

Send him back, yeah, to the right.

Send him to the right.

-Come on.

-The other right.

[ Laughing ] That'll do.

That's all right.

Now let's see if we can get that -- Get him coming, stop him, and then make him go.

Stop him.

-Stop.

-Get in front of his eyeline.

Get in front of his eyeline.

Hand up and use your voice.

Now walk him up again.

Okay.

That's very good.

That'll do us, I reckon.

Yeah.

Let's get up and take it easy, and that'll lead us into what we're doing tomorrow anyway.

We've got done what I needed to get done today.

Steady, mate.

Steady.

There he goes, Baz.

It's all right.

It's all right.

He won't go far.

Can someone go and grab him?

So, Baz -- definitely the most difficult horse we've had come through the program.

He had emotional issues, mental issues, and physical issues, and the combination was pretty scary.

He's a horse that's needed help, you know, like some of these soldiers.

He's a horse that has really needed help, and without that help, you know, he would have had a very uncertain future.

-I joined as an infantry soldier, so there's a lot of Bush stuff, you know, always out after the wars, and, yeah, it was good life.

Basically, you know, you're training to kill the enemy.

You're -- You're the front-line soldier, so... yeah, you do a lot of Bush exercises and, you know, like, that's -- that's how my family life broke down, 'cause I was always away.

I was away eight months of the year one time, and it's not really good for the family life unless the wife's comfortable with it.

You know, she just didn't like the -- the loneliness, I suppose, and she ended up moving away.

I couldn't deal with the fact that my kids go, and I still can't today, you know?

It sort of crushes you.

I tried to get get leave to at least sort my family life out.

Yeah, I may not bring -- you know, go up there and try and save it or whatnot, but, you know, I was denied that, and, being an infantry soldier, I had the hard knock.

Yeah.

I mean, like, that's sort of the mentality they sort of gave me.

That's why I went downhill.

-All right?

-And, um, I left the Army, and then, um, coming into Father's Day, and, you know, I may not have done all the right things with the kids, but they love me.

Like, I'm a great dad.

And that's just Father's Day coming, and I never got a phone call.

Sort of like a kick in the guts, you know?

So...

I feel like everything failed me, you know?

Like, I was literally living in a -- in a creek bed.

-They've been hanging out a bit together, these two.

I've sort of had them in the round yard overnight or in the arena overnight together, so they know each other pretty well.

It won't worry me if I get stuck with Baz forever.

I'll keep educating him, and, you know, if the right person comes along, well, great.

If they don't, well, I'll just keep educating him and see where he goes to, you know?

-Yeah.

-He was probably, you know -- Well, he would have been a hundreds-and-hundreds of-thousand-dollar yearling and never won anything, you know?

-Yeah.

Well, a good horse who lets people learn on him.

-Oh, mate.

Like, so many -- People learn -- As I said, they learn so -- I learned so much from him, and he teaches people.

You've got to ride really well.

If you ride really well, he's awesome.

If you don't, then he'll let you know.

He'll let you know you're not doing the right thing and you've got to fix it up or deal with it, you know?

If you press the right buttons, you get the right result.

-Yeah.

-You ever done any of that sort of -- that sort of stuff that I've talked about today, that join-up sort of stuff or any of that natural horsemanship stuff?

-No, not really.

Not too much of it.

I haven't worked with horses for years now, so sort of you've got to re-educate me, as well.

-Yeah.

That's right.

That'll be easy, mate.

-Yeah.

-You've got the -- You've got the right vibe about you, you know -- that nice quiet vibe that always goes well with horses.

-Yeah.

-I think everybody on the first day was a bit apprehensive, and we were all worried about each other more, as much as everything else.

I guess we were worried about other veterans judging other veterans, you know?

"Was my war worse than your war?"

type syndrome.

And that didn't happen, and that was really good.

Not once did any of us tell a war story -- not once.

And that was great because we didn't need to.

We knew why we were all there.

Everybody on my course was a veteran.

We all knew that we've all been through stuff, but it didn't matter what, and I was so grateful there was no war stories.

And I didn't feel like telling him, and I didn't feel like hearing them, and -- and I think we all felt the same.

We're here for the horses.

-[ Nickers ] [ Snorts ] -I always knew how horses were good for people.

They were good for me.

I was with the mounted police, riding young horses on the street.

It's probably the most dangerous job in the police force.

You know, you're trialing young horses in traffic situations, and, you know, they fall over on the road and things happen and, you know, you get kicked, and so, you know, I had a lot of injuries, and, eventually, it got to the point where I was -- I was, um, retired medically unsound.

If I hadn't gotten back into horses, I don't know what I would have done, and I probably would have, um, finished up, like maybe some of these other guys.

It was almost like when the opportunity came to work with horses, it was this mad breath of fresh air.

I went, "Yes!

This is what I've got to do.

This is where I've got to be."

So I'm gonna use this as a target.

I'm gonna hang it on the fence over here.

And what I want to do is I want to shape what this horse does.

So I want him to, um, move around and -- you know, and start to think, um, "Why does he stop me here?

What is it that he's trying to get across to me?"

And it's a shaping thing, and I want to shape the idea and the understanding of what I want him to do.

So I'll send him out first.

And this might be really easy.

It might be really difficult, whatever it is.

When you start a battle, you've got to settle into it and be relaxed and patient and work away at it and find the answers to the problem.

If it becomes complicated, then I'll have to deal with that, and it might become complicated for you guys.

If it does, I'll try and talk you through it.

But, you know, we've just got to be -- The big thing is staying really calm about it 'cause if you get angry, you're going to lose that horse.

As soon as your body language becomes negative, you'll lose him straight away.

Walk up.

So just in this position now, behind his eye, I'm driving him forward.

[ Clicks tongue ] And halt.

Stand.

[ Clicks tongue ] Stand.

[ Clicks tongue ] Stay.

Good boy.

-Okay.

So, I've got him to do it now, but I want him to understand that he's got to do it, right?

So you can see now if I create the energy, he's now starting to work it off.

If I go back here, he stops creating that energy.

[ Clicks tongue ] If I just lift that whip up a couple of inches, then he responds to it, right?

You know, it's not like he's absolutely petrified of it, and I don't want him to be, 'cause all I get is fear.

And when there's fear, you're not going to get a lot of education, right?

So I want it to be a calming thing.

I want it to be a relaxing thing.

So come to his bum, pointed his bum, send him out.

Point at the bottom that sends him out.

That's it.

Create some energy there.

Trot him up.

Good girl.

-Trot up!

Trot up!

I've had multiple sexual assaults when I was in the Navy.

Nobody took it seriously.

They gave the guys a slap on the wrist because their mates just testified against me, and it was four of them against me.

The second case, um, of sexual assault occurred, um, when I was going on a date with a guy and he forgot his wallet, and he asked me to come up and grab his wallet.

And, um, unbeknownst to myself, there was another guy in his room waiting for me, and they, um -- they raped me.

Um... yeah, and, um...

I couldn't -- I couldn't do anything.

So, um...

I'm kind of like -- I-I -- After what happened the first time, I, um -- I didn't report that.

I just got really, really depressed and suicidal.

-Okay.

Set yourself up now.

Okay.

Go for another full lap.

You left it too late.

That's all right.

Set yourself up for success, not for failure.

That's the way.

-And...halt.

Walk up.

And...post.

Good boy.

-That is a-- You know, you would say that the way you stopped him there was a bit abrupt, but then when you're relaxed, it doesn't matter.

Horses are abrupt with each other all the time, but they relax straight after it.

Very good.

Very good.

Good job.

-So, start to slow him down now or you're going to struggle to get him back.

Okay.

So, he got you there.

Keep his attention.

Keep his attention.

-Come on.

-You're getting a bit too far in front of him, Matt, so take a s-- Yep.

Let him get -- That's it.

Now cut him off if you like.

-I was called to the ICRC, International Red Cross Hospital, and, uh, I was just told that there had been a murder.

There was a number of local Timorese, and they were very -- obviously very upset.

A mother, a father, and some relatives -- they had brought this baby in, and it was DOA, dead on arrival, and they were suggesting that the local nurse -- and they called it "nurse," I'd call it "witch doctor" -- had killed the baby.

-Now one step at a time.

-Up.

Walk up.

Good boy.

-And again.

And stop.

-Good boy.

-No, too far.

-Now, um... Yeah.

Um...

Uh, the -- the mortuary's just a refrigerated shipping container.

It's nothing more than that.

And power supply is, um, pretty, um, uh, inconsistent.

There's generators breaking down all the time, so the level of, um -- the level of, um -- The refrigeration wasn't great.

Let's just put it that way.

And, uh, when you opened up this container, the -- the God almighty smell was just, you know -- Um... there's just nothing like it in the world.

So, anyway, we, um -- we -- we did the paperwork on the baby, and, um, I, uh -- I eventually put it in a body bag and sort of folded it over and over and over again, and it always just seemed so dark in that container.

I don't know.

It's just -- It was like an endless dark tunnel when you walked in there, and the corpses were just laid on the -- on the -- on the ground there.

And I just -- I went to the back because I knew that was the coldest part and I just wanted to keep the remains as, um -- as intact as possible because the -- the, um -- the, um -- I sorry.

I can't even think.

The -- The f-- The doctor that would come over to perform the autopsy only, um, came over every now and then, so I didn't know when the next visit would be.

So I walked to the back of the container, and I just didn't have the heart to put it on the floor.

And there, um -- There was a rigid, um, corpse with -- that looked like it had its arms in an upward position, and I kind of just, um, placed the baby there.

For many years, I've been haunted by these sort of pictures.

[ Chain saw buzzing ] -Come this way.

Come this way.

Oh, well done!

Whoo!

[ Chuckles ] I'll give you that.

Hey.

Good catch at the last second.

-I feel very responsible for people when I get involved with them -- probably too responsible, probably to my own detriment, at times.

Yeah, there are times when you feel like you're pretty much loaded down with a lot of other people's issues, you know?

You've got to be aware of that.

And, um, probably sometimes I let myself get drawn in too much, really.

I've run this program, a lot of the time, having to take holidays to come away and do it.

So I haven't been paid to do it.

I've been doing it off my own bat most of the time.

And then, you know, you've got to feed veterans and you've got to hire facilities and that sort of thing.

It's a bit of a strain on my family from time to time 'cause it takes a lot of my time and it takes a lot of my mental energy, and I can't say it's always great.

You know, I probably need to do better.

My family -- my wife's and my kids are ridiculously supportive.

They're very proud of what I do, but I need to give more back to them.

"With never a sound of trumpet, with never a flag displayed, the last of the old campaigners lined up for their last parade.

Battered they were, and weary, shoeless, and knocked about; from under their ragged forelocks, their hungry eyes looked out.

And they looked as the old commander read out to the cheering men the Nation's thanks, and the orders to carry them home again.

And one of the old campaigners, sinewy, lean, and spare, spoke out for his hungry comrades: 'Have we not done our share?

Hungry and lame and thirsty we limped on the blazing plain; and after a long night's picket you saddled us up again.

We froze on the windswept kopjes where the frost lay snowy-white, never a halt in the daytime, never a rest at night!

Steel!

We were steel to stand of it, those of us who have come through, those of us old campaigners, pitiful, poor, and few.

Over the sea you brought us, over the leagues of foam: Now we have served you fairly will you not take us home?

Home to the Hunter River, to the flats where the lucerne grows; home where the Murrumbidgee runs white with the melting snows.

This is a small thing, surely!

Will you not give command that the last of the old campaigners go back to their native land?'

They looked at the grim commander, but never a sign he's made.

'Dismissed!'

and the old campaigners moved off from their last parade."

I'm going to tap him on that inside leg with the whip, and I want him to step around me.

So I tap him up, get him stepping across.

Then I'm going to ask him to move out onto the circle.

For a racehorse that's only ever gone on a straight line on a big open track, it's a really important part of getting them to get their balance and getting an understanding that we need them to do these sort of things in the new life that they're going to live.

And you drive him forward.

You feel like you're driving him?

You look like you're driving him.

You see, he's in a really good position, and you can see that.

Good job, mate.

Have you done long-reining before?

-Um, not really.

-No?

Well, your position's really good, mate.

You're getting a really good result there.

-That's excellent.

It's been great getting to learn the different tricks that Scott has, you know?

It's awesome to learn and for Scott to be sharing it with people, you know?

There's not many people that would actually do that, so it's pretty -- pretty special, really.

-[ Blows ] -Some people get it straight away and they've got the right feel, and some people take ages and ages to learn it, mate, but you're going to pick this up really quickly.

I need to get you down there as quick as we can and get you working some horses, you know?

-Yeah.

-I knew you'd be good at it, and you've got a good feel for it, and, you know, we really get you working some horses and doing something positive, yeah?

It'll be good.

-Yeah.

Good, mate.

-I woke up when I was in that round yard.

It was like a light bulb switched on.

I was just like, "This is different."

Something's going on.

The feeling you get with this majestic animal -- you know, he's so strong, it's so powerful, and it trusts you and you can lead it and get it to do anything you need it to do is the most amazing feeling ever.

And every time I walk out of there, my confidence gets better.

I'm starting to come back to who I used to be.

I'm not my label anymore.

I am me, and it's in there, and it's coming out.

-[ Snorts ] [ Groans softly ] -I'll tell you what I'd do now.

I'd get on the right-hand side of his nose and push him to the right as you walk away and then walk forward with him.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

That's right.

Now go.

Walk forward.

Walk forward.

You got him there.

That's it.

-[ Snorts ] [ Snorts ] And again, we want to try -- try and get it on.

He'll do it.

Give him a little click.

See if he'll do it.

-[ Clicks tongue ] -Try and get it without touching him if you can.

Got it.

-Good boy.

Good boy.

-Good job.

And again.

Other leg.

-Walk up.

-Good work.

Good work.

-Good boy.

-Good work, mate.

Good job.

-Good.

You're clever.

-Very good.

-Well done.

Well done.

-[ Laughs ] Very good, mate.

-Thank you.

-Good job.

-Thank you.

-[ Laughs ] -You're a good boy.

-[ Snorts ] -Then just move it toward you a little bit.

Now -- Yeah, that's it.

Now go.

Send him back.

Send him back on the nose.

Send him on the nose.

And again.

He's got to move those feet.

-Come on.

[ Clicks tongue ] [ Chuckles softly ] We can do this.

Yes.

Come on.

[ Clicking tongue ] -Relax, relax.

Take your time.

-[ Clicking tongue ] -[ Whinnies ] -Watch him move in concrete.

[ Both laugh ] [ Clicking tongue ] -If you get it right, he'll get it right.

If you don't, he's going, "Nah, that's not quite it."

Yeah.

I'm happy for you to put your hand in the middle of his chest, your thumb in the middle of his chest, and ask him to back up with pressure, finger pressure.

-We all have different love languages, and touch and words of encouragement I'm on, um, very strongly, and I think having that -- that human or that touch from animals and then actually working with that and seeing just those small little steps that you make and see, "Oh, wow, you know, I -- I'm actually doing this.

I'm actually, um, bringing some leadership back and -- and learning a new language and -- and working in a -- in a form that not many people get a chance to do.

-There is a fear when people come and do these courses that they have this great week and at the end of the week they go home and everything finishes and it's all over, and they can fall into a deeper depression than they had before they were here, so, you know, I really encourage them to, as soon as they get home, as soon as possible, get in there with us and do some volunteer work and keep the ball rolling, really, you know?

-Still, to give me a second chance at all, really, it's been great, but I'm not the type of person that likes to accept help.

I don't know.

That's just -- just my personality.

-I want to help as many horses as I can, and I want to give back to them what they've given me, and that is my life back.

-Where do I go now?

Who could I be?

How could I change my life to make it important again?

Not important in a, um, arrogant way -- important to me.

-I'm going to leave defense all behind and move forward and -- and never look back.

I've already lived that space.

Those experiences have become part of me, and they'll always be there in some of those scars.

But that's okay.

I think I can fill my life with other things.

-You're a different person.

-Yeah.

I mean, um, the horses have done 10 times as much, for me personally, better than any PTSD or any other course has done for me anyway.

It's -- It's almost impossible to describe, really.

It was just like... you... if you don't know inside, like, you just -- you're just being who you are, and then suddenly you have a purpose and you have a reason to wake up the next day and do something, and you have meaning again, that's what it was like for me.

-I don't think there was anything else that could have taken me from this lower spot and feeling very... down in that pit area and not feeling like I can have a future anymore to, um, a place and to see a future and -- and go, "Hang on a second.

I think there is some hope here.

I think there is a future for me.

-It's the one thing that I lost.

I forgot how to be happy.

And if that's the only gift I got out of this, and it wasn't, you know, what can you ask?

What more can you ask -- what more can you ask for?

-Well, I can't ask for any more.

As I said, we just do the horse stuff, and if it makes people feel good, that's great.

Makes me feel good.

And, like, hearing your story makes me feel better, so... -Yeah.

Go and have a good cry.

You good girl.

[ Laughter ] -No, I love it.

I love hearing... that sort of stuff that's -- when you tell me what you've gotten out of it.

It's great to see.

It's humbling.

-I think it's just being with horses, especially with these guys, I've found... uh, working with traumatized horses, in many ways, from their racing, so they've gone through similar experiences, and you could feel that, um, there's a synergy in that, and -- and 'cause I-I love people and animals, it just helps me to take myself to another level.

-[ Groans ] [ Blows ] [ Snorts ] -I'll be looking it down to work with Scott.

He asked me what I wanted to do, and I said, "Well, I'm a qualified butcher."

And he goes, "Is that what you want to do?"

And I said, "No, not really.

You know, it's sort of just a dead-end job, you know?"

And he's gone, "Well, what do you want to do?"

And I just thought, "Well...

I've always wanted to be a farrier, you know?"

-Now we need to get you -- we need to get you there because you've got -- you know, you've got loads of potential.

Like, there's a course at Scone TAFE where they do one weekend a month, I think it is.

-Yeah.

-And you can get out there by train to Scone.

if you could do that once a month up there at the course and do the -- you know, working with them during the week... -Yeah.

-...you'd get really good at it, you know?

-Yes.

[ Indistinct conversations, laughter ] -All right.

So, we've spent the weekend now, and, um, I hope everybody's enjoyed it and got something out of it, and I hope the relationship can be ongoing.

You know, I really want to make sure that, um, you know, you guys get the opportunity to do more with this if you want to do it.

There's no point just coming out and doing a week and then leaving everybody stranded.

You know, I always offer that opportunity for you to come in and be involved with the thoroughbred retraining.

And I think, you know, as we said through this week, definitely you've learnt enough skills now for me to make sure that you really do have some involvement and you really can do something good for horses and -- and help them on their journey, and, at the same time, hopefully they'll help you on your journey.

[ Cheers and applause ] -You never answer the bloody phone.

-Well, that's the idea.

Call me anytime you like.

I really don't mind.

[ Laughter ] All right.

Good on you guys.

Thank you very much.

It's been a great week.

All right.

Good on you, mate.

See you soon.

-Yeah.

No worries.

Thanks very much, Scott.

-Yeah, mate.

No worries.

No question at all.

Good on you, mate.

See you when you come down.

-Yeah.

-Bring him with you.

[ Indistinct conversations ] -Scott's passionate leadership and training encapsulated our spirit, driving us with a new confidence through his continual encouragement with his genuine heart for humans and horses combined that saved my life for many years.

But it's time to shout, "Enough!"

and to take a stand.

I'm on that cusp.

I can feel it.

I'm ready to take action.

And then I heard it -- the inspirational speech I've needed to hear.

It didn't matter if it was on a television series.

Daenerys Targaryen, Queen of the Dragons in "Game of Thrones," season 7, episode 3, spoke of her trauma through life -- people putting her down, treating her like scum, ashamed and betrayed, raped and imprisoned, and the only way that she got to where she was standing, on the throne of her heart's desire to the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, to free slaves and stop senseless wars, was to -- Well, you'll have to read the book to find out.

[ Laughter, applause ] -Whoo-hoo!

-[ Chuckles ] -Well done.

Great job.

[ Indistinct conversations ] -I want to do more again.

I love spoken -- love motivation.

-[ Speaking indistinctly ] -Oh, great.

Oh, that would -- Yeah.

Definitely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

-Love to.

Yeah.

-Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, definitely with preteens.

-Thank you.

-Thank you for tonight.

It's just been an honor and a privilege.

-Yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

Well, it's been nice meeting you, too.

[ Indistinct conversations ] [ Indistinct conversations ] -All right.

Everyone here?

It's assessment time, guys.

You've gone from starting off for this course knowing nothing.

None of you could ride.

Uh, the best of you weren't that great.

And where are you now?

You're doing pretty damn good.

Remember, these horses have not had any education.

They've come straight off the track.

And you guys, for the last seven months, have been training your own horses.

That's a feat.

These veterans have trauma, all of them, and they're dealing with that as the course goes on, and I have to deal with that, too.

-Gunfight at the O.K.

Corral.

-[ Chuckles ] -Any other injuries since last time?

-No.

He's been good.

-All right.

I'm pretty happy with him.

Just make sure he keeps that feed up.

That's all.

-[ Smooches ] -Nick, don't get in front of your horse.

-Yeah.

-Remember, you're gonna -- you're driving your horse, and you drive them from behind the eye.

-Yeah.

-Just use your hand.

Push out.

Sometimes I haven't really understood how close they are to the horses until I've said something like, "I want to try you on another horse."

And then the person just about flips out and says, "What?!

This is -- I like this horse.

I love this horse.

Don't take this horse from me."

And when you see that kind of interrelationship, you're chuffed that they are so close to their animal.

I haven't had to rely on any medication in regards to my psychiatric or psychological condition, and I just found that the whole system of training -- I don't know why, but the working with horses had more impact on me than any counseling or any medication or any other treatment.

So it's healing for me in that way.

[ Birds chirping ] -I think working with Scott's helped me more than seeing the psych and medication because the medication just clouded my head, made me tired all the time, and psychiatry basically was talking about stuff.

And for me personally, I found that if I talked about my issues over and over again, it just went over and over in my head and I didn't get anywhere, and I wasn't able to resolve any of my problems that way.

Well [Sighs] my psychiatrist said that she wished that the program that Scott does was available to not just myself and veterans but everyone, like first responders or anyone with trauma.

Even alcoholics or, you know, people with addiction issues would probably benefit more from being able to do something like this because it forces you to get in touch with your emotions, not just accept that you have them but to deal with them.

-The moments I have when I'm with my horses and I don't have to rush to get somewhere or haven't got people lined up, I have some unbelievable moments -- unbelievable, like, Zen moments that I -- you know, I find it hard to describe.

It's sort of like, you know, when you -- you fall in love for the first time and you think no one else has ever felt this before.

You're the only one that's ever felt it.

No one can tell you that she's no good for you because they don't know how you feel.

No one's ever been there before.

You really do become one animal.

There really is this circle of energy that flows through both of you, and you both have a responsibility for the communication that's going on, and it's an incredible connection that I don't think you can get anywhere else.

-You've done very well, young fella.

You're better off for this experience.

-[ Snorts ] [ Engine starts ] [ Birds chirping ]