Return to the Wild

male narrator: IN APRIL 1992,

A 24-YEAR-OLD HIKER,

CHRISTOPHER MCCANDLESS,

WALKED INTO ALASKA'S SNOW-COVERED WILDERNESS

BY HIMSELF.

"THIS IS THE LAST YOU'LL HEAR FROM ME,"

HE WROTE A FRIEND.

"I NOW WALK INTO THE WILD."

HIS JOURNAL SAYS THAT ON THE FOURTH DAY,

HE CAME UPON A FAIRBANKS CITY TRANSIT BUS

ABANDONED ON AN OLD MINING TRAIL.

HE SPENT 110 DAYS LIVING OFF THE LAND.

HE HAD NOT SPOKEN TO HIS FAMILY FOR TWO YEARS.

NOBODY KNEW HE WAS THERE.

- HE DIDN'T TALK TO ANYBODY.

THAT'S A FACT.

- NO--NO COMMUNICATION WITH ANYBODY HE KNEW.

- YEAH.

SO HE--HE KNEW--: I'M SURE THAT HE KNEW THAT I AND BILLY

WOULD BE LOOKING FOR HIM.

AND WE DID.

WE TRIED TO.

narrator: CHRIS ULTIMATELY SUCCUMBED TO STARVATION

AND DIED ALONE.

HIS BODY WAS FOUND BY HUNTERS A FEW WEEKS LATER.

THEY ALSO FOUND BOOKS FILLED WITH NOTES, FIVE ROLLS OF FILM,

AND A DAILY JOURNAL ON THE BLANK PAGES

OF A FIELD GUIDE: TO NATIVE PLANTS OF THE ALASKAN WILDERNESS.

HIS STORY, TOLD IN A BOOK AND A FILM, MADE HIM FAMOUS.

INSTEAD OF DISAPPEARING, HE BECAME A LEGEND.

BUT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED CHRIS,

IT'S ALWAYS BEEN MORE PERSONAL THAN THAT.

- IT'S SO PEACEFUL.

narrator: TODAY, THREE OF CHRIS' SISTERS

HAVE MADE THE TREK TO THE BUS TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME.

- ONE OF THE GREATEST MISUNDERSTANDINGS

PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT CHRIS' STORY AS THEY KNOW IT SO FAR,

HOW MUCH HE WAS HURTING WHEN HE LEFT.

AND--AND WHY THAT IS.

- YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT JUST CHRIS.

IT'S JUST A LOT OF THINGS.

- I KNOW.

- WE UNDERSTOOD THE THINGS THAT HAUNTED EACH OTHER.

THAT'S SOMETHING THAT WE DIDN'T REALLY SHARE WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

narrator: BUT THEY HAVEN'T COME TO GRIEVE.

THEY SAY THEY'VE COME TO FILL THE GAPS IN THE STORY.

FILL THEM WITH FAMILY SECRETS

THEY SAY THEY'VE BEEN SILENT ABOUT FOR TOO LONG.

SECRETS THAT HAVE TORN THE MCCANDLESS FAMILY APART.

AND THAT MAY HELP EXPLAIN WHAT BROUGHT CHRIS TO THIS PLACE

TO LIVE AND TO DIE ALONE.

EVERY SPRING, YOUNG HIKERS STILL

MAKE THE TOUGH, TWO-DAY TREK TO THE 142.

- THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT BEING HERE

BRINGS OUT SOMETHING DEEP WITHIN THEM.

narrator: FOR MORE THAN TWO DECADES,

THEY'VE BEEN LEAVING TRIBUTES TO CHRIS INSIDE THE OLD BUS.

- THIS BOOK IS FULL OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE--

A LOT OF WHOM HAVE TRAVELED ALL ACROSS THE WORLD

JUST TO BE HERE.

narrator: THEY'RE STRANGERS WHO REVERE CHRIS MCCANDLESS.

TO THEM, HIS IS THE STORY OF A YOUNG MAN

JUST ABOUT THEIR AGE WHO HAD THE COURAGE TO SLIP THE BONDS

OF A COMFORTABLE MIDDLE CLASS EXISTENCE,

BURN HIS MONEY, AND LIVE APART.

SO COMMITTED TO DEFYING CONVENTIONAL NOTIONS OF SUCCESS,

HE ULTIMATELY GAVE HIS LIFE FOR IT.

- LIVE BEFORE YOU DIE.

YOU KNOW, HOW MANY OF US ACTUALLY DO THAT?

HOW MANY OF US ACTUALLY LIVE?

OR DO WE JUST EXIST?

- MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE CRIED AT THE BUS,

IT'S REALLY INSPIRATIONAL FOR THOSE PEOPLE.

EVEN JUST READING THE LOG BOOKS IN THE BUS,

YOU SEE ALL OF THESE DIFFERENT PEOPLE

WHO HAVE MADE THEIR WAY OUT TO, YOU KNOW,

THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, ALASKA,

TO SEE THIS PLACE WHERE MCCANDLESS LIVED AND DIED.

narrator: BUT IT MAY BE THAT WHAT DRAWS SO MANY PEOPLE

TO CHRIS' SAGA: IS HOW LITTLE THEY REALLY KNOW ABOUT HIM.

- WHEN I THINK THAT PEOPLE SAY LIKE, "OH, I KNOW CHRIS,"

IT'S REALLY THE SORT OF PART OF--PART OF YOURSELF

THAT YOU SEE IN CHRIS.

narrator: YEARS AGO,

THERE WAS ANOTHER VISITOR TO THE BUS...SEAN PENN,

WHO WROTE AND DIRECTED THE FILM INTO THE WILD.

A FILM THAT TURNED CHRISTOPHER MCCANDLESS INTO AN ICON.

- THE HEART OF WHAT WAS ESSENTIAL ABOUT THE STORY TO ME

WAS PART OF ALL OF US.

AND IT WAS EVERYBODY'S STORY.

IT WAS A BIG...SHOCKING, BEAUTIFUL...

DANGEROUS, FULFILLING WORLD.

AND TO DIVE INTO THAT SWIMMING POOL

LIKE THAT IS SOMETHING WE ALL WANT TO DO, SOMEHOW.

narrator: BUT LONG BEFORE HE WAS A HERO TO SO MANY PEOPLE,

HE WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT TO HIS LITTLE SISTER, CARINE.

- THEY WERE SOUL MATES.

THEY WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER ON THIS EARTH.

HE WAS HER PROTECTOR.

CHRIS PROTECTED CARINE.

THEY WERE INCREDIBLY CLOSE.

DEEP, DEEP, DEEP LOVE FOR EACH OTHER.

- HE WANTED TO GET UP TO THE SUMMIT.

HE WANTED TO GET TO THE HARDEST PART

AND GET THERE THE MOST DIFFICULT WAY POSSIBLE.

BUT HE DIDN'T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING ALONG THE WAY.

I STILL FEEL LIKE HE'S WALKING WITH ME SOMETIMES.

narrator: THEY WERE LITERALLY THE CHILDREN

OF A ROCKET SCIENTIST.

WALT WAS A RENOWNED AERONAUTICAL ENGINEER WHO WORKED FOR NASA.

BY ALL APPEARANCES, THEY LED A CHARMED LIFE.

- OUR PARENTS ACTUALLY GOT US OUT IN NATURE

FROM A VERY EARLY AGE.

CAMPING AND ALWAYS TENT CAMPING.

AND WE HIKED A LOT: IN THE SHENANDOAH AREAS WHERE WE ARE TODAY.

MOM ALWAYS PACKED GREAT SNACKS FOR US TO HAVE,

AND WE ALWAYS MADE TRAIL MIX AND SHE MADE A GREAT TRAIL MIX.

narrator: CHRIS LOVED CHALLENGING HIMSELF

IN THE OUTDOORS FROM THE TIME HE WAS VERY SMALL.

- THE FIRST TIME THAT I TOOK CHRIS

ON A SERIOUS TRIP TO SHENANDOAH AREA WAS CLIMBING OLD RAG.

TWO OF MY BUDDIES AT NASA HEADQUARTERS WANTED TO DO THIS,

AND I SAID, "CAN I BRING CHRIS?"

AND THEY SAID,

"AS LONG AS YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARRY HIM DOWN."

HE WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD.

HE CARRIED A BACKPACK AND HE CARRIED HIS SLEEPING BAG,

AND THAT'S ABOUT IT.

AND DID GREAT.

- HE PUSHED HIMSELF TO THE LIMIT.

IT WASN'T A CHALLENGE TO HIM IF IT WASN'T A CHALLENGE.

AND IF HE KNEW EXACTLY: HOW THE ADVENTURE WAS GONNA PAN OUT AT THE END,

IT WASN'T AN ADVENTURE.

narrator: BUT CARINE SAYS THAT NATURE OFFERED

SOMETHING MORE THAN JUST A CHALLENGE.

IT WAS, IN MANY WAYS, A SANCTUARY.

- I THINK ONE OF THE THINGS

THAT ATTRACTED US AS CHILDREN TO BEING OUT IN NATURE

IS THOSE WERE THE MOST PEACEFUL TIMES WITH MY PARENTS.

THERE WASN'T FIGHTING OUT HERE.

WE FELT SAFER OUTSIDE OF OUR HOME.

AND WE FELT SAFER WITH OUR PARENTS OUTSIDE OF OUR HOME

IF WE WERE OUT IN NATURE OR OUT, YOU KNOW,

OUTSIDE OF WHERE, YOU KNOW,

WHERE ALL OF THE THINGS THAT HAD TO STAY HIDDEN HAD TO...LIVE.

narrator: BECAUSE CARINE SAYS AT HOME,

THINGS WERE CONFUSING AND VOLATILE.

NOW, MORE THAN 20 YEARS AFTER HER BROTHER'S DEATH,

CARINE HAS WRITTEN A BOOK THAT SHE SAYS HELPS EXPLAIN

WHY HER BROTHER DECIDED TO CUT OFF TIES WITH HIS FAMILY

AND MAKE THE JOURNEY THAT ENDED IN HIS DEATH.

- "THE CONSTANT MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT MY BROTHER

"MADE ME WANT TO CRY OUT THE REAL REASONS

"WHY WALKING INTO THE WILD WAS FAR FROM CRAZY,

BUT THE SANEST THING CHRIS COULD HAVE DONE."

I WANT PEOPLE TO LEARN FROM CHRIS.

I THINK CHRIS WOULD WANT THAT.

narrator: AND NOW, CARINE IS RELEASING PORTIONS OF LETTERS

SHE GOT FROM CHRIS WHEN HE WAS IN COLLEGE,

AND JUST AFTER.

IN WHICH HE DESCRIBES THEIR CHILDHOODS.

- "THE EVENTS THAT WE SUFFERED

"ARE SO OUTLANDISH IN THEIR PROPORTION

"THAT IT IS USELESS TO TRY TO EXPLAIN THEM TO ANYBODY,

BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER BELIEVE YOU."

THE MEMORIES THAT I HAVE AREN'T ALL BAD.

BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE

THE TUMULTUOUS CHILDHOOD THAT WE HAD.

narrator: AND CARINE SAYS IT WAS THAT WAY

FOR AS LONG AS THEY COULD REMEMBER.

WHEN CHRIS WAS BORN, HIS PARENTS, WALT AND BILLIE,

WERE LIVING TOGETHER IN EL SEGUNDO,

OUTSIDE OF LOS ANGELES.

BUT JUST 20 MINUTES AWAY,

WALT HAD ANOTHER FAMILY.

HE WAS STILL MARRIED TO HIS FIRST WIFE,

MARSHA MCCANDLESS, HIS HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART,

WHO ALREADY HAD FIVE CHILDREN WITH HIM,

ONE BORN JUST MONTHS BEFORE CHRIS.

- SO MY MOTHER WAS PREGNANT AND GIVES BIRTH

TO MY BROTHER IN NOVEMBER.

AND CHRIS IS BORN IN FEBRUARY.

SO BOTH WOMEN WERE PREGNANT AT THE SAME TIME.

narrator: AND EVEN AS HE STARTED HIS FAMILY WITH BILLIE,

WALT REMAINED MARRIED TO MARSHA.

IN FACT, HE HAD ANOTHER CHILD WITH HER.

- QUINN WAS BORN BETWEEN CHRIS AND I.

- QUINN WAS BORN TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

AND HE CAME HOME, I BELIEVE, ON CHRISTMAS DAY.

AND MY MOTHER WAS LEFT ALONE WITH FIVE KIDS

AND A BABY ON CHRISTMAS DAY.

HE WASN'T--HE JUST WASN'T THERE.

HE LEFT.

narrator: FOR NEARLY FIVE YEARS,

WALT SPLIT HIS TIME LIVING BETWEEN HIS TWO FAMILIES

IN HIS TWO HOMES.

- IT ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE IT WAS--IT WAS ON AND OFF.

HE WOULD BE THERE FOR A FEW WEEKS, THEN HE'D BE GONE.

THEN HE WOULD COME BACK.

THEN HE'D BE GONE.

- THAT WASN'T A HEALTHY HOUSEHOLD.

EVEN AS A CHILD I JUST KNEW THAT.

THAT THERE WAS FEAR INVOLVED.

narrator: AND ACCORDING TO TWO OF WALT'S DAUGHTERS WITH MARSHA,

WHEN WALT WAS IN THEIR HOUSE,

HE OFTEN ERUPTED IN VERBAL ABUSE

AND PHYSICAL VIOLENCE AGAINST THEIR MOTHER.

- PUNCHING.

PULLING HAIR.

UM, KICKING.

PROBABLY ALL OF THE ABOVE, REALLY.

- DID I FEAR FOR MY MOM?

YES.

I CAN REMEMBER HIDING WHEN HE CAME HOME ONE DAY.

HIDING IN THE CLOSET: BECAUSE HE MUST HAVE BEEN ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING

AND I REMEMBER HIDING.

THAT'S MY EARLIEST MEMORY OF I GUESS ANGER AND KIND

OF BEING IN A VIOLENT HOUSEHOLD.

- AND THE OTHER SPOT THAT REALLY RESONATES WITH ME

IS HIDING UNDER THE DINING ROOM TABLE.

I KNOW I WASN'T THE ONLY PERSON UNDER THAT TABLE.

IT'S LIKE YOU GROUP TOGETHER: TO THAT SPOT.

THERE'S MORE SAFETY IN NUMBERS.

- ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS,

MY MOTHER TOLD ME THAT HE DID PUT A PILLOW OVER HER FACE

AS IF TO SUFFOCATE HER.

narrator: MARSHA WROTE ABOUT ONE INCIDENT IN A LETTER

TO A FAMILY COURT.

- HE PUSHED HER.

HE BROKE HER.

HE BROKE HER VERTEBRAE.

- BUT I THINK WHEN YOU'RE ABUSED LIKE THAT, A PART OF YOU INSIDE,

YOU'RE JUST DYING INSIDE THAT SOMEBODY EVERY DAY

IS TELLING YOU'RE NOTHING,

OR IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT YOU GOT HIT.

YOU MADE THEM DO IT,

AND AFTERWARDS THEY'RE REALLY SORRY ABOUT IT.

AND EVERY DAY, YOU'RE DYING A LITTLE BIT.

narrator: IN MARCH 1972,

MARSHA WAS GRANTED A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST WALT

BASED ON HER ALLEGATIONS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE.

SHE SAID SHE WAS AFRAID OF HIM.

IN NOVEMBER OF THAT YEAR, MARSHA AND WALT

FINALLY DIVORCED WHEN CHRIS WAS ALMOST FIVE YEARS OLD.

SHE MOVED WITH HER CHILDREN TO COLORADO.

- I THINK SHE'S AN INSPIRATION TO OTHER WOMEN.

SHE LEFT WITH SIX KIDS, NO MONEY, NOTHING,

AND LEFT.

narrator: WALT, BILLIE, CHRIS,

AND CARINE MOVED TO ANNANDALE,

TEN MILES FROM D.C. WHERE WALT HAD GOTTEN A JOB WITH NASA.

- ASTRONAUTS WOULD COME OVER TO THE HOUSE AND SIT

AND TALK TO US ABOUT SPACE.

I MEAN, WHAT KIDS GET TO DO THAT?

narrator: WALT AND BILLIE SEEMED PICTURE-PERFECT PARENTS.

- MY MOTHER WAS A GREAT ARTIST.

SHE ALWAYS MADE US HANDMADE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES.

I REMEMBER WHENEVER I WOULD SEE KIDS IN STORE-BOUGHT

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES I WOULD ALWAYS FEEL SO BAD FOR THEM.

narrator: WALT EVEN SAW TO IT THAT DURING SUMMER VACATIONS,

THEIR HALF-SIBLINGS, MARSHA'S CHILDREN,

CAME TO VISIT THEM.

- WE HAD PUT A LOT OF EMPHASIS ON MAKING SURE

THAT ALL OF THESE KIDS: KNEW EACH OTHER AND HAD SPENT TIME WITH EACH OTHER

WHEN I WORKED AT NASA.

THE LAST LAUNCH I WAS A PROJECT MANAGER.

WE'D TAKE EVERYBODY TO CALIFORNIA 'CAUSE

IT WAS GONNA BE LAUNCHED THERE FOR THREE MONTHS.

AND, YOU KNOW, WE ALL PILED IN THE SUBURBAN

AND WENT OUT THERE.

narrator: LATER THERE WERE CRUISES, SKI TRIPS,

AND WHEN CHRIS AND SHELLY WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL,

A TRIP TO AMSTERDAM.

- AND NOT MANY KIDS CAN SAY THEY WENT TO AMSTERDAM

IN HIGH SCHOOL.

narrator: SHELLY EVEN CAME TO LIVE WITH THEM HER SENIOR YEAR.

BUT HIS SISTERS SAY THAT BEHIND CLOSED DOORS,

THERE WAS TURMOIL.

- WE ALL JUST ALWAYS KNEW IT WAS THERE BECAUSE KEEP IN MIND

THAT WE WOULD...

SOME OF US WOULD SPEND OUR SUMMERS IN VIRGINIA,

AND SO THAT WAS A VIOLENT HOUSEHOLD AS WELL.

narrator: THEY SAY WALT'S VERBAL AND PHYSICAL ATTACKS

NOW FOCUSED ON BILLIE.

- YOU KNOW, THE VACATIONS WERE NICE

BUT IT WAS A HARD HOUSEHOLD TO LIVE IN.

- I LOOK BACK, YOU KNOW, AS AN ADULT

AND IT'S JUST LIKE THE ONE WORD WOULD BE TOXIC.

JUST SO...

SO UNHEALTHY.

- MY MOTHER WENT THROUGH SO MUCH.

YOU KNOW, MY EARLIEST MEMORIES ARE JUST WE

WOULD FEEL THE CHARGE IN THE AIR.

- IF IT WAS INTENSE, IT WAS USUALLY AFTER DINNER.

- WE WOULD HEAR HIM.

RAISED VOICES AND IT WOULD GET LOUDER AND LOUDER.

- WE'D DO THE DISHES AND THEN JUST, LIKE, SCATTER.

- CHRIS WOULD USUALLY COME AND GRAB ME

AND GET ME OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE.

IF WE COULDN'T GET OUT IN TIME,

WE WERE ALWAYS CALLED IN TO WITNESS THE VIOLENCE.

- WELL I THINK IN SOME WAYS BILLIE WANTED US TO WATCH,

BUT IT WOULD BECOME LIKE A,

"WATCH THIS HAPPENING TO ME,"

ALMOST, YOU KNOW, ASKING FOR US TO HELP.

- WE WOULD HEAR MY MOM SAY, YOU KNOW, "KIDS, KIDS.

COME LOOK WHAT YOUR FATHER IS DOING TO ME."

AND THEN HE WOULD SCREAM AFTER HER, "KIDS, GET IN HERE, NOW.

LOOK WHAT YOUR MOTHER IS MAKING ME DO."

- "LOOK WHAT YOUR FATHER IS DOING TO ME."

"LOOK AT THIS."

"LOOK AT THAT."

WE WOULD STAND IN THE DOORWAY

AND THERE WERE TIMES WHERE WE TRIED TO PUSH DAD

OFF OF MOM AND CHRIS WOULD ALWAYS KEEP ME SAFE.

YOU KNOW, DAD WOULD HAVE HER DOWN.

IT WOULD ALWAYS FOUND ITS WAY UP INTO THIS PARTICULAR BEDROOM

IN THE HOUSE, THE GUEST BEDROOM.

- HEARD A LOT OF CHOKING AND SHOVING AND CONTAINING.

- DAD WOULD THROW MOM DOWN ON THE BED

AND HE'D BE CHOKING HER: AND IN BETWEEN HER BREATH SHE WOULD BE SCREAMING OUT FOR HELP

AND WHEN HE RELEASED HER AND WALKED OUT,

SHE WOULD RUN OVER TO US AND PUT HER ARMS AROUND US

AND SHE WOULD APOLOGIZE TO US.

AND SHE WOULD SAY, "I'M SORRY, KIDS.

"BUT WHEN I GOT PREGNANT WITH CHRIS

I GOT STUCK WITH YOUR DAD."

CHRIS, YOU KNOW, HE'S TOLD

THROUGHOUT HIS CHILDHOOD THAT ALL OF THE--

THAT HEAVINESS AND THE PAIN: AND THIS...

CONSTANT PRESSURE AND VIOLENCE WITHIN THE HOUSEHOLD STEM

FROM HIS EXISTENCE.

THAT'S WHAT STARTED IT.

THAT'S WHAT HE WAS TOLD.

AND I THINK HE FELT A LOT OF GUILT AT A YOUNG AGE

FOR TRAPPING HIS MOTHER AND HIS SISTER IN THAT.

- YEAH, THEY WERE REALLY CLOSE.

AND FOR THEM IT WAS THE TWO OF 'EM IN THAT HOUSE.

ESPECIALLY FOR THEM, IT WAS LIKE SURVIVAL.

THEY HAD TO SURVIVE TOGETHER.

- "YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO I COULD EVER TRULY COMMUNICATE

WITH ON THIS SUBJECT,

BECAUSE LIKE ME, YOU HAVE SEEN THAT OTHER SIDE

AND EXPERIENCED THE TRAUMA, FRUSTRATION,

AND PAIN."

- JUST REALLY STRESSFUL AS A CHILD

TO BE IN A SITUATION LIKE THAT.

narrator: NONE OF THESE DETAILS

APPEAR IN THE BOOK THAT MADE CHRIS MCCANDLESS FAMOUS,

INTO THE WILD.

THE AUTHOR, JOHN KRAKAUER,

NOW SAYS HE KNEW ABOUT CARINE'S ALLEGATIONS,

BUT CARINE ASKED HIM NOT TO WRITE ABOUT IT.

- FOR SO MANY YEARS AFTER CHRIS PASSED AWAY,

I WAS ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT MY PARENTS

WERE GONNA LEARN FROM HIS DEATH.

I WANTED TO GIVE ME PARENTS THAT OPPORTUNITY.

- CHILDREN.

- KIDS!

LOOK WHAT YOUR DAD IS GOING TO ME!

narrator: IN SEAN PENN'S AWARD-WINNING MOVIE ABOUT CHRIS,

THERE IS A SCENE THAT DEPICTS THE KIND

OF VIOLENCE CARINE AND HER SISTERS RECALL.

- THAT'S THE SENSATIONALISM PART.

narrator: CARINE WAS A CONSULTANT ON THE FILM

AND SHE GAVE PENN ACCESS TO THE LETTERS

CHRIS HAD WRITTEN HER.

- WHEN SEAN PENN DID THE FILM, I ALLOWED SEAN TO READ THEM.

MY SIBLINGS HAVEN'T READ THEM.

I'VE...KEPT THEM FROM MY PARENTS,

OUT OF KINDNESS.

BUT I'M NOT RELEASING HIS LETTERS TO HURT MY PARENTS.

I'M RELEASING PARTS OF HIS LETTERS

FOR PEOPLE TO GET A BETTER UNDERSTAND OF CHRIS.

narrator: WALT AND BILLIE REJECT THE IDEA THAT CHRIS

DISAPPEARED BECAUSE OF ANY TENSION IN THEIR HOME.

- CHRIS WAS ALWAYS INDEPENDENT.

THAT WAS NEVER GONNA CHANGE.

IT WAS PART OF HIS DNA.

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BILLIE OR I.

IT WAS...

IT'S, YOU KNOW, IT'S CHRIS.

narrator: IN FACT, WALT AND BILLIE

HAVE DISMISSED CARINE'S ACCOUNT OF THEIR HOME LIFE

AS "FICTITIOUS, HYPED UP, AND SPITEFUL,"

AND SAID, "THIS FICTIONALIZED WRITING HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

"TO DO WITH OUR BELOVED SON CHRIS, HIS JOURNEY,

OR HIS CHARACTER."

BUT CARINE SAYS HER BROTHER: GREW INCREASINGLY ANGRY AT WHAT HE CALLED HYPOCRISY.

- "I DON'T KNOW WHY IT IS,

"BUT OUR PARENTS HAVE TWO-SIDED SPLIT PERSONALITIES,

"AND FOR SOME REASON, THEY HAVE RESERVED THE VERY WORST PART

OF THEMSELVES SOLELY FOR YOU AND I ALONE."

narrator: AND THEY WERE KEENLY AWARE THEY HAD A LIFESTYLE

VERY DIFFERENT FROM THEIR HALF SIBLINGS.

- BUT THEY GREW UP IN A HOUSE WHERE APPEARANCES

WERE REALLY IMPORTANT.

MONEY, CARS.

IT WAS IMPORTANT THAT, YOU KNOW, ON SUNDAY

YOU GO TO CHURCH.

THAT PEOPLE ON THE OUTSIDE SEE YOU AS THIS PERFECT FAMILY.

BUT THEN, YOU KNOW, HE ALSO

KNEW THAT THEN WE'RE LIVING IN COLORADO

AND WE DON'T HAVE THAT SAME LIFESTYLE.

narrator: COURT PAPERS SHOW WALT AND MARSHA BATTLED FOR YEARS

OVER CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS.

WITH WALT CLAIMING AT ONE POINT

HE DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY WHAT THE JUDGE HAD ORDERED.

- WE WEREN'T LIVING RICH.

MY MOM WASN'T ALWAYS GETTING HER ALIMONY CHECKS FROM MY DAD.

HE WOULD REFUSE TO PAY HER SOMETIMES.

THEY WERE LIVING A WHOLE DIFFERENT LIFESTYLE

AND HE KNEW THAT.

I THINK THAT BOTHERED HIM, AS WELL.

- I THINK WHAT CHRIS NOTICED SO MUCH,

THE THINGS THAT WE DID THAT COST THE LEAST AMOUNT OF MONEY ALWAYS

SEEMED TO BE THE HAPPIEST TIMES.

narrator: BUT WALT AND BILLIE

HAVE A DIFFERENT MEMORY OF THEIR SON...

- HE WAS AN ENTREPRENEUR.

EVEN THOUGH LATER ON HE DISDAINED MONEY.

WHEN HE WAS A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL

HE WENT DOOR TO DOOR FOR A KITCHEN REMODELING COMPANY.

THAT'S HARD TO DO.

HE MADE $7- OR $8,000.

I'M NOT KIDDING.

THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.

HE WENT OUT AND BOUGHT THE DATSUN WITH HIS MOM'S HELP.

SHE DIDN'T HELP HIM FINANCIALLY

BUT HE CAME HOME, HE SAYS, "I FOUND A CAR.

I'VE FOUND A CAR.

YOU'VE GOT TO GO MAKE A DEAL FOR ME."

SHE'S A DEAL MAKER.

SHE IS.

SO SHE DID.

narrator: BUT FOR CHRIS,

THE MONEY HE MADE WAS A MEANS TO A VERY DIFFERENT END

THAN HIS PARENTS SUSPECTED.

- HE WAS GOING TO GO AND TRAVEL.

TAKE THE DATSUN AND GO ACROSS COUNTRY.

OUR PARENTS WANTED, YOU KNOW, A DETAILED ITINERARY FROM HIM.

EXACTLY WHERE HE WAS GONNA BE, WHEN HE WAS GONNA BE THERE.

HE SAID, "YOU KNOW,

THAT'S PART OF THE PLAN IS TO NOT HAVE A PLAN."

narrator: HIS FRIEND ANDY HORWITZ SAYS EVEN THEN

HE THOUGHT THAT CHRIS WAS GOING THROUGH SOMETHING

MORE THAN NORMAL TEENAGE REBELLION.

- I REMEMBER VIVIDLY A CONVERSATION.

REMEMBER, LIKE, HIS GRADUATION PARTY, A BIG PARTY

THAT HIS PARENTS THREW FOR HIM FROM HIGH SCHOOL

AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS LIKE,

"YOU KNOW, THIS IS REALLY GREAT

THAT YOUR PARENTS ARE DOING THIS FOR YOU,"

AND, "WHAT A GREAT PARTY,"

AND I COULD JUST--: I KNEW FROM HIS RESPONSE THAT,

YOU KNOW, TOO LITTLE TOO LATE.

THERE WAS NO-- SOME SORT OF DAMAGE

HAD BEEN DONE THAT WAS SEEMINGLY IRREPARABLE.

narrator: THE TRIP CHRIS MADE THAT SUMMER IN HIS DATSUN

WOULD TURN OUT TO BE A TRIAL RUN FOR HIS DISAPPEARANCE

FIVE YEARS LATER.

- HE WAS GONE ALL SUMMER.

BUT THERE WAS A MONTH: AND A HALF WENT BY THAT WE DIDN'T HEAR FROM HIM.

- YEAH.

- THAT WAS VERY HARD TO TAKE.

VERY.

THAT KIND OF HURT THE HEART: A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW,

'CAUSE YOU WEREN'T--

YOU JUST DIDN'T KNOW.

narrator: HE RETURNED IN TIME FOR HIS PARENTS

TO TAKE HIM TO COLLEGE AT EMORY UNIVERSITY.

HE MADE OTHER TRIPS, BUT HIS PARENTS POINT OUT

THAT HE ALWAYS CAME BACK TO ANNANDALE.

- CERTAINLY KIDS GO THROUGH A PERIOD OF TIME

WHERE THEY DON'T LINE UP EXACTLY WITH PARENTS, OKAY?

AND SOMETIMES THEY LINE UP EXACTLY WITH PARENTS.

THERE'S CERTAINLY EQUAL PARTS OF THAT IN OUR LIFE WITH CHRIS.

I BELIEVE THAT HIS ADVENTURES

HAD MORE TO DO WITH CHRIS AND HIS...

OUTLOOK ON ALL OF LIFE THAN ON ANYTHING ELSE.

narrator: HIS HALF-SISTER SHELLY

REMEMBERS THAT AROUND HIS JUNIOR YEAR OF COLLEGE,

HIS DISDAIN FOR HIS PARENTS' MONEY HAD BECOME CONTEMPT.

- HE TOLD ME,

"DON'T TAKE ANY MONEY FROM 'EM.

"I KNOW YOU NEED MONEY TO GO TO COLLEGE,

BUT DON'T TAKE THEIR MONEY."

AND HE MADE IT VERY CLEAR THAT HE WAS VERY

FED UP WITH THE MONEY SITUATION.

narrator: BY SENIOR YEAR IN COLLEGE, CHRIS' SIBLINGS

HAD NOTICED A CHANGE.

- BOY, TO THINK THE LAST TIME I'D EVEN SEEN HIM

WAS PROBABLY THE CHRISTMAS RIGHT BEFORE HE GRADUATED

AND WE ALL WENT ON A CRUISE.

AND HE JUST KIND OF SEEMED...

NOT DOWN, JUST KIND OF MORE WITHDRAWN A LITTLE BIT.

narrator: FOUR MONTHS BEFORE HE GRADUATED,

CHRIS WROTE CARINE, FRUSTRATED.

HE SAID HE'D SENT A LETTER TO HIS PARENTS

EXPRESSING HIS FEELINGS.

- "I FELT FOR SURE THAT THAT LETTER

"WOULD FINALLY SHAKE THEM INTO SOME KIND OF REALITY,

"AND THEN JUST A FEW DAYS AGO,

"I GET THIS STUPID POSTCARD FROM COLORADO WHERE THEY SKIING,

"AND ALL IT SAYS IN REFERENCE

"TO MY LETTER IS THIS:

'THANKS FOR YOUR LETTER.

'SAVING THEM FOR YOUR CHILDREN

TO READ ONE DAY!'

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?"

narrator: THE DISTANCE BETWEEN CHRIS AND HIS PARENTS

CONTINUED TO GROW.

- "THEY ARE JUST TOTALLY BEYOND HOPE

AND THERE IS NO WAY TO EVER BRING THEM BACK INTO REALITY."

narrator: IN MAY, 1990,

WALT, BILLIE, AND CARINE

WENT TO ATLANTA TO CELEBRATE CHRIS' GRADUATION.

- "SINCE THEY WON'T EVER TAKE ME SERIOUSLY,

I'M JUST GOING TO PLAY ALONG WITH THEIR LITTLE ACTING GAME."

- WE WANTED TO BUY HIM A NEW CAR.

HE'D GRADUATED SO BEAUTIFULLY.

- YEAH.

HE DIDN'T WANT IT.

- YOU KNOW,

AND FULFILL THAT AND WE WANT HIM TO HAVE A NEW CAR

AND HE DIDN'T WANT IT.

DIDN'T WANT ONE.

HE WAS KIND OF INSULTED... - [chuckles]

- TO THINK THAT WE THOUGHT HE SHOULD GIVE UP THAT DATSUN.

[laughs]

narrator: THE NEXT DAY,

CHRIS GAVE HIS MOTHER A GIFT AND A CARD.

- I MEAN, HE WAS DEAD ON HIS FEET ON THE DAY

AFTER HIS COLLEGE GRADUATION, YOU KNOW,

BUT HE WAS DETERMINED TO BE THERE TO TAKE US TO THE AIRPORT

BECAUSE IT WAS MOTHER'S DAY.

- "FOR A FEW MONTHS AFTER GRADUATION,

"I'M GOING TO LET THEM THINK THEY ARE RIGHT.

"I'M GOING TO LET THEM THINK THAT I'M COMING AROUND

"TO SEE THEIR SIDE OF THINGS

AND THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS STABILIZING."

narrator: BY AUGUST, WALT AND BILLIE WERE BECOMING CONCERNED.

IT HAD BEEN OVER A MONTH SINCE THEY HAD HEARD FROM THEIR SON.

- "ONCE THE TIME IS RIGHT, WITH ONE ABRUPT, SWIFT ACTION,

I'M GOING TO COMPLETELY KNOCK THEM OUT OF MY LIFE."

narrator: THEY DROVE TO ATLANTA

AND FOUND HIS APARTMENT EMPTY,

CHRIS GONE.

- IT WAS STUNNING.

HE HAD LEFT A MESSAGE WITH THE LADY

THAT OWNED THE APARTMENTS.

SAID HE WAS HEADED FOR FLORIDA OR SOMEPLACE LIKE THAT.

WHICH OBVIOUSLY WAS NOT TRUE.

- HE JUST LEFT.

- YEAH.

- "I'M GOING TO DIVORCE THEM AS MY PARENTS.

I'LL BE THROUGH WITH THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL FOREVER."

- WE BARELY SPOKE ON THE WAY HOME.

WE JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR DO OR THINK.

- "MAYBE IT WILL BE DIFFERENT FOR YOU, CARINE.

"MAYBE ONCE I'M GONE,

THEY WILL LEARN TO TREAT YOU WITH SOME RESPECT."

narrator: WHEN WALT AND BILLIE GOT HOME,

THEY LEARNED CHRIS HAD GIVEN HIMSELF A LONG HEAD START.

ALL THE LETTERS THEY'D WRITTEN THAT SUMMER RETURNED TO THEM.

- HE HAD IT ALL HELD AT THE POST OFFICE.

HE PAID TO HAVE IT HELD FOR FOUR OR FIVE WEEKS

AND THEN HAD IT ALL RETURNED TO ME IN ONE BIG BUNDLE.

- AND TO CARINE.

- AND THAT--AND TO CARINE, TOO.

I MEAN, THERE'S NO WAY WE COULD TRACK HIM AFTER ALL THAT TIME.

THAT'S WHEN I FIRST STARTED RESEARCHING

AND FOUND A PRIVATE EYE.

narrator: THE INVESTIGATOR LEARNED CHRIS HAD GIVEN AWAY

THE REMAINDER OF HIS EDUCATION FUND, $24,000,

TO THE CHARITY OXFAM.

BUT BY THE TIME FAMILY REALIZED HE'D DISAPPEARED,

CHRIS HAD ALREADY TRAVELED 2,000 MILES FROM ATLANTA,

TO A PLACE CALLED THE DETRITAL WASH IN WESTERN ARIZONA.

WHEN A FLASH FLOOD SWAMPED HIS CAR,

HE BURIED HIS LICENSE PLATES,

PUT EVERYTHING HE COULD CARRY IN A BACKPACK,

AND WALKED AWAY.

- HE WAS SO ATTACHED TO THAT YELLOW DATSUN.

HE REALLY WAS.

THAT WAS HIS-- PART OF HIS SOUL.

I COULD NOT IMAGINE HIM WALKING AWAY FROM THAT CAR.

narrator: TWO DAYS LATER,

HE PHOTOGRAPHED HIMSELF BURNING HIS REMAINING MONEY.

- I THINK HE HAD A FUNDAMENTAL DISDAIN

FOR WHAT I'D CALL THE CHANNELS.

I THINK CHRIS WAS A LONG WAY: FROM MAKING A DECISION ABOUT WHAT HE WANTED TO DO.

- I THINK THE MATERIALISTIC ASPECT

FOR IT WAS ONE LAYER OF IT.

THE VIOLENCE WAS ONE LAYER OF IT.

NOT BEING ACCOUNTABLE AND TRUTHFUL

AND THAT HE HAD TO GO OUT AND FIND THE TRUTH HIMSELF, HE

COULDN'T GET IT FROM HIS PARENTS IS ANOTHER LAYER OF IT.

I JUST THINK IT WAS JUST--: HE HAD TO PEEL THAT ALL OFF.

narrator: CHRIS BEGAN HITCHING WEST.

LONG BEFORE THE ERA OF THE SELFIE,

HE SHOT A SERIES OF REMARKABLE SELF-PORTRAITS USING A TIMER

AND PROPPING HIS FILM CAMERA UP ON HIS BACKPACK.

WALT AND BILLIE ONLY SAW THESE PHOTOS LATER.

THEY WERE GIVEN TO THEM AFTER CHRIS' DEATH

AND THEY'VE NOW GATHERED THEM INTO A BOOK

CALLED BACK TO THE WILD.

- BILLIE COULDN'T LOOK AT THEM.

THE PICTURES.

SHE JUST COULDN'T DO IT.

IT WAS HARD FOR ME, BUT I DID.

CATALOGUED THEM ALL.

SCANNED THEM.

HE TOOK OVER 600 PICTURES.

I DIDN'T HAVE ANY IDEA HE'D TAKEN THAT MANY.

narrator: THE PHOTOS SHOW BY LATE AUGUST CHRIS

HAD HITCHED ACROSS THE SIERRA NEVADAS

AND WAS IN CALIFORNIA.

- HE HAD A HALF OF A MILK CRATE CUT DOWN WITH BERRIES IN IT,

READING HIS STUPID PLANT BOOK.

SO I GOT OUT AND I SAID, "HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?"

HE SAID,

"I'M WAITING FOR A RIDE."

AND I SAID, "YOU'RE A LAZY HITCHHIKER.

YOU'LL NEVER GET A RIDE LIKE THAT."

HE SAID, "ARE YOU GONNA GIVE ME A RIDE?"

AND I SAID, "YEAH, BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE IS GOING TO."

HE SAID, "WELL, I GOT A RIDE, DIDN'T I?"

narrator: BY THE TIME CHRIS MCCANDLESS MET JAN BURRES,

HE'D GIVEN HIMSELF A NEW NAME, ALEXANDER SUPERTRAMP.

- HE JUST HAD SO MUCH ENTHUSIASM

FOR BEING OUT IN THE WORLD ON HIS OWN DOING HIS THING.

AND HE WAS HUNGRY.

HE'D BEEN HUNGRY FOR A WHILE: SO I PRETTY MUCH FED HIM AND HE TOOK HIS TENT AND ROLLED IT OUT.

HE HAD THE BEST SMILE IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

THE BEST.

AND WE'D GO CLIMB THE ROCKS: TO SIT ON TOP OF TO WATCH THE TIDE COME IN.

THAT'S WHEN WE BONDED AND BECAME FRIENDS.

narrator: OVER THE COURSE OF THE NEXT TWO YEARS,

CHRIS VISITED JAN A FEW TIMES.

SHE WAS LIVING IN AN OUTSIDER ENCAMPMENT IN THE DESERT

NICKNAMED THE SLABS.

- HE WOULD INVOLVE HIMSELF WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE,

BUT HE NEVER GAVE HIMSELF TO A LOT OF PEOPLE, YOU KNOW,

AND HE DID WITH ME.

HE'D SEEK ME OUT,

WE'D GO SIT AND TALK.

I KNEW THAT HE WAS ANGRY AT HIS FATHER,

AND I ALWAYS SAW THAT HE LOVED HIS MOTHER,

THAT HE HAD A TENDERNESS: FOR HIS MOTHER AND A LOVE FOR HIS MOM.

narrator: AS IT HAPPENED, JAN HAD LOST TOUCH WITH HER OWN SON

WHO WAS AROUND CHRIS' AGE.

- I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE MY KID WAS.

HE WAS 18 SOMEWHERE AND HE WAS OUT BEING 18 AND BEING A MAN

AND HERE WAS THIS GUY ALEX THAT WAS 22.

SO I SAY, "WHERE'S YOUR MOM?"

HE WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

AND I SAID, "WELL, YOU NEED TO CALL YOUR PARENTS."

narrator: BUT CHRIS DID NOT CALL.

- THAT'S THE WORST FEELING I'VE EVER HAD.

OKAY.

I MEAN, YOU CAN GET SICK, FEEL BAD.

IT'S WAY WORSE THAN THAT.

AND IT'S LIKE BEING IN SUSPENDED ANIMATION.

THERE'S NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO.

- EVERY TIME WE HAD TO LEAVE WITH THE PREMISES,

I DID A NOTE WITH HIS NAME ON IT ON AN ENVELOPE

AND I TAPED IT TO THE DOOR: AND JUST TELLING HIM WHERE WE WERE, WHEN WE WENT,

WHEN WE ARE EXPECTED BACK AND TO CALL US.

JUST CALL AS SOON AS HE GOT HOME.

AND, BOY, WE'D BE GONE,

WE'D COME BACK AND WALT WOULD BE DRIVING DOWN THE STREET

AND I'M WATCHING, WATCHING, WATCHING FOR THE FRONT DOOR.

HERE WAS THAT ENVELOPE, STILL ON THE FRONT DOOR.

HE HADN'T COME HOME.

- I DON'T KNOW.

I LIKE TO THINK THAT MAYBE HE JUST WAS GONNA

DO THAT FOR A WHILE: AND HE WOULD'VE SHOWN BACK UP AND MAYBE JUST COME BACK

AND SAY, "YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M MY OWN PERSON NOW.

I DON'T NEED YOU."

- HE TOLD ME IN ONE OF THE LAST LETTERS HE SENT TO ME IS,

YOU KNOW, "I'LL COME BACK AND SEE YOU."

AND EVERY DAY: I CAME HOME FROM WORK, I FIGURED CHRIS MIGHT BE ON MY PORCH.

- YOU KNOW, THE ONLY PERSON WHO REALLY MAKES ME FOR

IS CARINE.

THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE CONTACT WITH HER DURING THAT TIME.

AND I KNOW WHY HE DIDN'T,

BECAUSE THAT WOULD'VE BEEN--: THEY WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO CONNECT WITH HIM.

THEY EVENTUALLY WOULD HAVE.

- WE DID GET THAT ONE SUMMONS IN THE MAIL

WHEN HE GOT STOPPED FOR HITCHHIKING.

THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT WE HAD THAT HAD A LOCATION ON IT

IN THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS GONE.

- AND THEY WEREN'T REALLY GETTING ANYWHERE.

THEN YOU KIND OF THINK,

"OKAY, HE JUST DOESN'T WANT TO BE FOUND.

SO WHERE IS HE AND WHAT'S HE DOING?"

narrator: HE TRAVELED ACROSS THE ROCKIES TOWARD THE GREAT PLAINS,

AND IN MONTANA, HE MET WAYNE WESTERBERG.

- I WAS LOADING SOME THINGS IN THE PICKUP

AND HE HAD COME WALKING DOWN THE STREET BASICALLY,

OR THE HIGHWAY,

AND STOPPED AND ASKED ME IF HE COULD GET A RIDE.

narrator: CHRIS ENDED UP TAKING A JOB

HELPING OUT ON WAYNE'S SOUTH DAKOTA FARM.

- YOU KNOW, I GUESS I LIKED HIM RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE.

I THINK HE WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE

THAT JUST TRIED TO DROP IN.

HE WASN'T TRYING TO BE BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE.

HE DIDN'T WANT ANYBODY TO KNOW THAT HE'D EVER HAD HAD MONEY.

I MEAN, ALL THIS THING ABOUT HIM, YOU KNOW,

GIVING HIS SAVINGS AWAY AND ALL THAT THAT CAME OUT LATER.

WE NEVER KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT.

I MEAN, YOU'D HAVE NEVER KNOWN HE HAD A DIME TO LIVE ON.

narrator: CARTHAGE IS A SPECK OF A TOWN ON THE PRAIRIE

WHERE CHRIS LEARNED TO DRIVE THE THRESHER

AND EARN THE LOCALS' RESPECT.

- I NEVER KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT HIS PARENTS.

I KNEW THAT HE WAS FROM THE EAST COAST.

I NEVER ASKED HIM ANYTHING AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING

THAT HE DIDN'T REALLY LIKE IS PEOPLE THAT WERE TOO NOSEY.

HE DIDN'T WANT SOMEBODY GIVING HIM THE TENTH DEGREE.

THAT'S THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY

THAT I WOULD SAY MADE HIM NERVOUS

IS IF PEOPLE STARTED ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS.

THERE'S THE PICKUP THAT HE LIKED.

I DON'T KNOW WHY HE LIKED THAT PICKUP, BUT HE DID,

SO I ALWAYS GAVE IT TO HIM WHENEVER HE WAS HERE.

HE ENDED UP TRAVELING SEVERAL TIMES FROM HERE, COMING BACK.

THIS KIND OF BECAME A HUB FOR HIM.

AND HE HAD HIS MAIL SENT HERE.

HE SENT UP POSTCARDS AND, YOU KNOW,

PEOPLE GOT TO KNOW HIM.

narrator: LATER, THOSE POSTCARDS

BECAME VALUABLE CLUES FOR THE WRITER JOHN KRAKAUER,

WHO PIECED TOGETHER THE STORY

OF WHERE CHRIS HAD BEEN FOR THE TWO YEARS

HE WAS OUT OF TOUCH WITH HIS FAMILY.

- THEY'RE READING ABOUT THIS JOURNEY AND ALL THIS THING

OF INTO THE WILD AND BACK TO THE WILD,

AND THEY SAY, "BOY, I JUST SEE MYSELF,

THAT COULD BE ME WALKING THERE."

YOU KNOW?

"THAT COULD BE ME DOING THIS," OR "ME SAYING THAT."

AND THEY THOUGHT, "WHY NOT ME?"

AND THEN THEY GET ON THE TRACK

AND THEY GO.

narrator: HE WAS A MODERN HUCK FINN

MEANDERING DOWN A GREAT RIVER OF EXPERIENCE.

HIS NEW HOME AMID THE WANDERING SOULS

AND THE TIRED LITTLE TOWNS OF THE AMERICAN WEST,

WAS SUCH A LONG WAY FROM ANNANDALE.

- IT WAS A MATTER OF SURVIVAL FOR HIM, YOU KNOW,

TO BE ABLE TO BE HIMSELF AND FIND WHERE

HE COULD FIT INTO THE WORLD AND REMAIN TRUE TO HIMSELF,

AND IT DIDN'T HOW TOUGH IT GOT,

IT DIDN'T MATTER HOW FAR OFF COURSE HE MIGHT HAVE TO GO

OR HOW FAR OUT OF HIS COMFORT ZONE IT TOOK HIM

TO BE ABLE TO ACHIEVE THAT GOAL.

HE WAS GONNA DO IT.

narrator: HE WAS CANOEING THE COLORADO RIVER TO MEXICO.

LIVING IN CAVES.

WORKING AT MCDONALD'S.

RIDING THE RAILS.

BUT HE HAD ONE BIG DREAM YET TO REALIZE:

ALASKA.

- I HAD CONCERNS.

I HAD CONCERNS THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO

CARRY MORE THAN 50 POUNDS OF RICE UP THERE

AND LIVE OFF THE LAND.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA HAVE UP THERE?

WHAT'S GONNA BE THERE?

WHAT'S GONNA BE THERE FOR YOU TO LIVE OFF OF?

WHAT IF THERE'S NO GAME?

- WELL, ALEX WAS VERY ORGANIZED.

HE HAD ME CONVINCED THAT HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.

- I KEPT SAYING, YOU KNOW,

"ALASKA'LL KICK YOUR BUTT.

"I MEAN, IT'LL KICK YOUR BUTT.

IT'S COLD."

AND HE HAD THIS STUPID BOOK: ABOUT PLANTS OF THE WORLD THAT HE COULD EAT.

HE WAS ALWAYS LOOKING IN THAT BOOK.

- I OFFERED HIM A PLANE TICKET UP THERE.

YOU KNOW, HE WOULDN'T TAKE A TICKET.

HE HAD TO GO TO ALASKA BY FOOT, RAIL,

OR ALL THAT TYPE OF ADVENTURE ON HIS WAY UP THERE.

THAT WAS ALL PART OF IT.

narrator: CHRIS DESCRIBED THE TRIP LIKE THIS:

"TEN DAYS AND NIGHTS OF FREIGHT TRAINS

"AND HITCHING BRING HIM TO THE GREAT WHITE NORTH.

NO LONGER TO BE POISONED BY CIVILIZATION."

IT WAS THE END OF APRIL 1992: WHEN CHRIS SENT WAYNE A FINAL POSTCARD FROM FAIRBANKS,

ALASKA.

"IF THIS ADVENTURE PROVES FATAL AND YOU DON'T EVER HEAR FROM ME

"AGAIN, I WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU'RE A GREAT MAN.

I NOW WALK INTO THE WILD."

- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

AND THERE'S NO ONE HERE.

IT'S QUIET.

IT'S PEACEFUL.

IT'S WILD.

IT REALLY IS.

I CAN SEE WHY HE WAS DRAWN HERE.

HE WAS ON AN ADVENTURE.

narrator: THAT SENSE OF ADVENTURE

STILL ECHOES 22 YEARS LATER.

A PARALLEL JOURNEY: TAKES THREE OF CHRIS' SISTERS PAST SNOW-COVERED PEAKS

AND ONTO THE STAMPEDE ROAD.

THIS IS THE LAST PLACE THEIR BROTHER WAS SEEN ALIVE

AFTER HITCHING A RIDE FROM FAIRBANKS.

- SO WE'VE DRIVEN ABOUT EIGHT MILES IN ON THE STAMPEDE ROAD.

THE BUS IS...

THAT WAY ANOTHER 20 OR SO MILES.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WEREN'T EVER SUPPOSED TO EXIST

AND YOU WANT TO SORT OF...

GET RID OF CHRIS MCCANDLESS FOR A LITTLE WHILE

AND DISAPPEAR, I MEAN, WHAT A PLACE TO DO IT, YOU KNOW?

- YEAH.

- HE DID NOT COME OUT HERE TO DIE.

- HE WENT OUT THERE TO BE HIMSELF.

- YEAH, RIGHT.

AND HE WAS YOUNG AND MALE: AND HE WAS GOOD AT EVERYTHING HE TRIED TO DO.

YOU KNOW, HE NEEDED TO PUSH HIMSELF HARDER AND HARDER

WITH EVERY STEP HE TOOK AND EVERY ADVENTURE HE TOOK.

YOU SEE THAT AS EXTREMIST.

JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT TO GET AS CLOSE TO THE EDGE

AND PEER DOWN INTO THE ABYSS: DOESN'T MEAN THEY WANT TO FALL INTO IT.

narrator: HE SETS OFF INTO THE SNOWY WILDERNESS,

FOLLOWING AN OLD MINING ROAD CALLED THE STAMPEDE TRAIL.

HE ENCOUNTERS TWO RIVERS AND FORDS THEM SUCCESSFULLY.

IN APRIL, THE RIVERS ARE CHOKED WITH ICE

AND COVERED WITH SNOWPACK, HIDING

HOW DEEP AND WIDE THEY'LL BECOME DURING THE SUMMER SNOW MELT.

- I COULDN'T DO WHAT HE DID.

MOST PEOPLE, IF THEY WERE TWO DAYS OFF THE TRAIL

AND IN A DARK PLACE, WOULD START THINKING ABOUT,

"MAYBE THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANT TO DO."

BUT HE FORGED HIS WAY THROUGH THERE.

narrator: AFTER THREE COLD DAYS AND NIGHTS, HE FINDS THE BUS.

A MAKESHIFT SHELTER: HAULED AND THEN ABANDONED HERE BY A MINING COMPANY.

INSIDE, CHRIS DISCOVERS A BED AND A WOOD STOVE

THAT WILL BECOME HIS HOME FOR THE NEXT 110 DAYS.

HE CALLS IT THE MAGIC BUS.

- CHRIS WENT OUT INTO NATURE

SEARCHING FOR THE THINGS THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE IN HIS CHILDHOOD.

YOU KNOW, PEACE, PURITY, HONESTY.

narrator: AS THE WINTER SNOW MELTS, CHRIS

BEGINS TO SUCCESSFULLY HUNT AND GATHER THE FOOD HE NEEDS.

HIS PHOTOGRAPHS SHOW THE SMILES OF AN EXUBERANT EXPLORER.

AND IN THE BOOKS HE READS,

THE PASSAGES UNDERSCORED REVEAL THE INTENSE NOTES OF A YOUNG MAN

WRESTLING WITH HOW TO LIVE A MORAL AND PURPOSEFUL LIFE.

- I WAS NEVER WORRIED.

I WASN'T.

I NEVER THOUGHT CHRIS WOULD EVER

GET HIMSELF INTO A SITUATION THAT HE COULDN'T HANDLE.

I MEAN, HE WAS CHRIS.

HE WAS MY PROTECTOR.

HE WAS ALWAYS STRONG.

HE SUCCEEDED AT EVERYTHING HE TRIED.

YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT'S PART OF WHAT GOT HIM IN TROUBLE.

narrator: ON DAY 43, HE CELEBRATES SHOOTING A MOOSE.

BUT HIS ENTHUSIASM TURNS TO FRUSTRATION WHEN MOST ROTS AWAY.

- I THINK THERE WAS A TRANSFORMATION

HE WENT ON THERE: AND HE CLEARLY MADE A DECISION TO GET BACK...

INTO CIVILIZATION.

narrator: ON DAY 66, HE SIMPLY WRITES, "FAMILY HAPPINESS."

A STORY HE READS BY TOLSTOY.

HE SHAVES HIS BEARD AND THE NEXT DAY LEAVES THE BUS.

- I THINK HE MISSES MOM AND DAD.

I THINK WHEN HE WAS SITTING UP THERE BY HIMSELF

WITH ONLY THE SOUND OF THE TREES GROWING

AND THE BERRIES RIPENING AND THE BIRDS FLYING OVER,

I THINK HE WEIGHED THINGS.

HOW MUCH BAD COMPARED TO HOW MUCH GOOD.

WOULD YOU GIVE UP ALL THAT GOOD

BECAUSE OF THIS LITTLE BIT OF BAD?

NO.

YOU GO HOME AND SAY, "LET'S NOT DO THAT BAD ANYMORE,

MOM, DAD, BROTHER, SISTER."

YOU KNOW?

"LET'S GET RID OF THAT.

LET'S MOVE ON.

LET'S GET STRONG."

- CHRIS PLANS TO WALK BACK OUT,

IT WAS OBVIOUS.

I HAVE KNOWN NO PERSON IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

THAT LOVED LIFE AS MUCH AS CHRIS DID.

narrator: BUT IT'S EARLY JULY

AND CHRIS STANDS ON THE BANKS OF THE TEKLANIKA

AND FINDS THE RIVER TRANSFORMED.

NOW, IT'S A CHEST-HIGH GLACIAL TORRENT.

THERE'S ACTUALLY A CABLE CROSSING

JUST HALF A MILE DOWNSTREAM, BUT CHRIS DOESN'T KNOW IT.

HE DOESN'T HAVE A MAP.

UNABLE TO CROSS, CHRIS RETURNS TO THE SHELTER OF THE BUS.

HIS NEXT JOURNAL ENTRY REFLECTS HIS FIRST SENSE OF CONCERN.

- "IT'S RAINED IN.

RIVER LOOKS IMPOSSIBLE."

HE WROTE THAT IN HIS JOURNAL.

AND THEN IT SAYS, "LONELY, SCARED."

CHRIS WAS ALWAYS STRONG: AND HE WASN'T LONELY AND HE WAS NEVER SCARED.

SO THAT'S TOUGH FOR ME.

narrator: THE SMALL TOWN OF HEALY IS LESS THAN 30 MILES

AWAY, BUT NONE OF THE LOCALS KNOW HE'S THERE EITHER.

- IF WE HAD KNOWN THAT HE WAS HIKING OFF INTO THIS AREA,

LOCALS WOULD'VE SAID, "OH, THE STAMPEDE TRAIL?

THERE'S THIS OLD BUS OUT THERE.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK THAT OUT."

narrator: BUT CHRIS' FAMILY HASN'T HEARD ANYTHING

FROM HIM IN NEARLY TWO YEARS.

OVER THE NEXT 22 DAYS, CHRIS APPEARS TO RELY

MORE AND MORE ON A DIET OF WILD POTATO SEEDS.

BUT IT'S A SOURCE OF NUTRITION HE COMES TO REGRET.

IN HIS JOURNAL,

CHRIS FEARS THE PODS ARE IN FACT POISONING HIM.

BY HIS FOURTH MONTH IN THE WILDERNESS,

CHRIS ACKNOWLEDGES THAT HE IS WEAK AND STARVING.

AT SOME POINT, HE PINS AN S.O.S.

NOTE ON THE SIDE OF THE BUS.

CHRIS TAKES A FINAL PHOTO: OF HIMSELF HOLDING A HAND-WRITTEN NOTE.

"I'VE HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND THANK THE LORD.

GOODBYE AND MAY GOD BLESS ALL."

ON THE 113th DAY AFTER WALKING INTO THE WILD,

CHRIS' JOURNAL ENTRIES STOP.

- HE HAD THAT SLEEPING BAG

STILL.

- YEP.

- THAT I MADE FOR HIM WHEN HE WAS A KID.

AND HE STILL HAD THAT AND HE CARRIED IT.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE HAD IT WITH HIM.

THEY FOUND HIM IN IT.

- I HAVE A LOT OF MIXED EMOTIONS OF THAT.

AND THIS MIGHT SOUND HARSH, IT'S NOT REALLY THE CHRIS PART

ANYMORE.

IT'S MORE THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SIDE OF IT FOR ME.

MAYBE THE TIMING'S RIGHT FOR US

TO COME FORWARD ABOUT OUR CHILDHOOD.

BUT MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE CUT EVERYONE OFF

AND DID SOME OF THE THINGS HE DID, THAT OTHER THINGS

WERE GOING ON IN HIS LIFE,

BUT HE WASN'T A SPOILED RICH KID

THAT JUST DECIDED, "I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY, I'M GONNA TAKE OFF."

THAT THERE WAS A LOT MORE GOING ON THERE.

YET I'M HERE.

I'M IN ALASKA.

IT'S SERIOUS.

narrator: THIS RUSTING SCHOOL

BUS HAS BEEN PARKED IN THE SISTERS' LIVES FOR DECADES,

BUT NOTHING ULTIMATELY PREPARES THEM

FOR WALKING INTO THIS CLEARING TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S NOT JUST CHRIS.

IT'S JUST A LOT OF THINGS.

- I KNOW.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

SURE?

- YES.

- OKAY.

- THIS AREA'S ALL OVER ME.

- IT'S SO LITTLE.

- YEAH, IT SEEMS SO MUCH SMALLER TO ME THIS VISIT.

- YOU CAN'T BE HERE WITHOUT JUST FEELING HIS PRESENCE.

- MY TOES ARE COLD.

YOUR FEET WARM?

- NO, THEY'RE NOT.

- I WAS GONNA SAY, I NEED TO GET SOME DIFFERENT BOOTS.

- I DO TOO.

WELL, I DID BRING AN EXTRA PAIR OF WOOL SOCKS.

narrator: CARINE HAS COME HERE MANY TIMES BEFORE,

BUT FOR SHELLY AND SHAWNA, IT'S THEIR FIRST VISIT.

- I'M GONNA SIGN WHERE I SIGNED THE LAST COUPLE TIMES.

I'M JUST ADDING A DATE FOR THIS VISIT.

THERE'S SOME NEW ENTRIES SINCE I WAS HERE LAST.

- I LOVE TO BE AROUND OTHER PEOPLE

AND I JUST DON'T THINK, LIKE, WAS HE LONELY?

- I THINK IT'S LIKE A CASTLE.

IT'S A LITTLE FORTRESS UP HERE.

IT SITS UP, LOOKS OVER THIS AMAZING VIEW.

IT'S SAFE.

IT'S A SAFE PLACE.

- YEAH.

narrator: BUT WHAT HAPPENED IN THIS CLEARING STILL

HAUNTS THE MCCANDLESS.

18 YEARS AFTER CHRIS' DEATH,

WALT AND BILLIE TRAVEL TO THE BUS WITH JAN AND WAYNE.

- WALT WAS SITTING ON THE BED WHERE HIS SON HAD DIED,

AND HE WAS GAZING OUT THE WINDOW

AND IT, JUST, EVERYTHING WAS ALL OVER HIS FACE.

IT WAS HIS LOVE AND HIS PAIN AND THE HURT FOR HIS SON.

WHATEVER HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM, WHATEVER WAS GOING ON BETWEEN,

YOU CAN SEE THE SORROW,

HOW MUCH PAIN THAT MAN WAS IN OVER THAT.

- AND THERE ARE PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD

THAT ARE ATTRACTED BY THIS STORY AND IT CHANGES THEM SOMEHOW.

AND SO LOOK AROUND.

IT CHANGED US.

- IT CHANGED THE WAY WE DEAL WITH EACH OTHER.

WE HAVE MUCH MORE PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING

AND EVERYTHING BETWEEN US.

WE'VE LOST OUR BEAUTIFUL SON... - YEAH.

- BUT IT'S CHANGED OUR LIVES IN A GOOD WAY.

- THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT WE WOULD WISH

THAT WERE BETTER RIGHT NOW.

- OUT OF THE SEVEN OF US, NOBODY HAS A RELATIONSHIP

WITH THEM RIGHT NOW,

BUT EVERYONE KIND OF GOT TO THAT POINT

AT A DIFFERENT TIME IN THEIR LIFE,

IN A DIFFERENT WAY, MAYBE.

- WE SAY OUR PRAYERS EVERY DAY FOR THEM AND FOR US

AND WE'D FORGIVE THEM IN AN INSTANT AND VISE VERSA.

- IN THE END,

IF HE CAN'T BE ACCOUNTABLE AND HE CAN'T TELL THE TRUTH,

THEN I'M GOING TO STAND WITH THE VICTIMS.

MYSELF INCLUDED.

- BUT THERE'S THINGS I SAW,

THERE'S THINGS I LIVED THROUGH THAT, YOU KNOW,

IN A WAY, YOU KNOW, I'M A SURVIVOR.

MY MOM'S A SURVIVOR.

MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS ARE SURVIVORS.

CHRIS, UNFORTUNATELY, IS NOT A SURVIVOR.

- ALTHOUGH HE HAD SUCH SADNESS THAT HE WAS DYING,

HE HAD THAT PEACE WITHIN HIMSELF.

HE WAS WITH HIS MOTHER NATURE.

HE WAS WITH HIS GOD.

AND HE WAS IN HIS CHURCH.

AND HE WAS ABLE TO GO ONTO WHATEVER THE NEXT ADVENTURE

WAS FOR HIM.

narrator: HIS FINAL GOODBYE WAS WRITTEN ON THE BACKSIDE

OF A POEM BY ROBINSON JEFFERS.

- "DEATH'S A FIERCE MEADOWLARK: BUT TO DIE

"HAVING MADE SOMETHING MORE EQUAL TO THE CENTURIES

"THAN MUSCLE AND BONE, IS MOSTLY TO SHED WEAKNESS.

"THE MOUNTAINS ARE DEAD STONE,

"THE PEOPLE ADMIRE OR HATE THEIR STATURE,

"THEIR INSOLENT QUIETNESS,

"THE MOUNTAINS ARE NOT SOFTENED OR TROUBLED

AND A FEW DEAD MEN'S THOUGHTS HAVE THE SAME TEMPER."

Return to the Wild is available on DVD.

To ord: or call 1-800-PLAY-PBS.