Project: Shattered Silence

Girl: I AM WORTHLESS.

I AM UGLY.

I AM STUPID.

I WANT IT ALL TO END.

[ BANG ] Boy: BULLYING IS MORE THAN JUST PHYSICAL STRIFE.

IT'S MENTAL WARFARE.

Girl: I TOOK ONE STEP INTO THE GARAGE, AND I SAW THE SHADOW OF MY FATHER HANGING.

[ BANG ] Girl: THIS COUNTRY TOLD ME, "YOU HAVE A HEART, YOU HAVE A MIND, YOU HAVE A SOUL.

YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE TO THE WORLD."

[ GLASS SHATTERS ] RANGER, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, BIBBIDY-BIBBIDY-BOP.

[ LAUGHTER ] DON'T BOUNCE.

ALTHOUGH IT WAS NICE HOW YOUR RINGLETS BOUNCED WITH YOU.

THAT WAS NICE.

MY NAME IS JARED O'ROARK, AND I AM THE ARTISTIC DIRECTOR OF "PROJECT: SHATTERED SILENCE."

"PROJECT: SHATTERED SILENCE" IS A GROUP THAT I CREATED THAT'S GOAL IS TO SAY THAT OUR STORIES MAY BE DIFFERENT, BUT OUR FEELINGS ARE THE SAME.

BOP!

[ LAUGHTER ] RANGER, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

WE TAKE PERSONAL STORIES, AND WE PUT THOSE TO THE STAGE.

ELEPHANT, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

YOU'RE SCARY.

[ LAUGHTER ] THE WAY IT SHOULD BE.

YOU REMEMBER THAT.

LAST YEAR'S THEME WAS, "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL."

ALL THEY SEE IS THE... AFTER THE SHOW, THIS GIRL CAME UP TO ME, SO I JUST GAVE HER A HUG, AND I WAS JUST LIKE, "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL."

AND SHE WAS LIKE, "I'VE BEEN THROUGH WHAT YOU'VE GONE THROUGH, AND IT HELPED ME FEEL LIKE I WASN'T ALONE, AND THEN YOU HUGGING ME AND TELLING ME I WAS BEAUTIFUL, IT WAS JUST LIKE, I REALLY RE-THOUGHT KILLING MYSELF."

AND I WAS JUST LIKE, "OH, MY GOSH," LIKE, IT WAS SO POWERFUL.

O'Roark: THE FIRST THING THAT I TRY TO THINK OF IS AN EXERCISE FOR THE FIRST COUPLE OF MEETINGS THAT WILL HELP THEM TO GET COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER.

IT'S NOT A THEATER EXERCISE, 'CAUSE THEY'RE NOT ALWAYS THEATER KIDS.

IN FACT, A LOT OF THEM ARE NOT THEATER KIDS.

BECAUSE THE ACTORS AREN'T GOING TO BE ACTING.

'CAUSE THEY'RE PLAYING THEMSELVES.

PONY, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

AWW.

SOMETIMES THIS WAS HARDER FOR KIDS WHO ACTUALLY DO THEATER AND ACT.

YOU'RE USED TO BEING ON A STAGE PLAYING SOMEBODY ELSE, BUT WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING YOURSELF, IT TAKES A LOT OF BRAVERY, AND MY "PROJECT: SHATTERED SILENCE" FAMILY, WE'RE ALL PRETTY BRAVE.

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME HOME TAKE ME HOME O'Roark: HEY, GUYS, JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE PAINTING THE BOXES BLUE, JUST TO FOLLOW THE THEME OF THE SHOW, "IN THE BLUE HOUR."

JUST MAKE A LITTLE MOUSTACHE.

[ LAUGHS ] THIS IS THE FOURTH YEAR OF "PROJECT: SHATTERED SILENCE," AND WE ARE COMING ON "IN THE BLUE HOUR," WHICH WILL BE OUR FOURTH PRODUCTION.

BODY, JET PACK.

THAT'S VERY CREATIVE.

O'Roark: IT GOES FROM SEPTEMBER TO JUNE, SO IT'S ABOUT A SCHOOL YEAR.

NINE MONTHS.

I DON'T WANT TO DANCE, SO DON'T YOU ASK ME, BABE I'M KIND OF A QUIET AND SHY PERSON, SO IT'S NOT EASY FOR ME WHEN, LIKE, EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS EACH OTHER AND I DON'T REALLY KNOW THAT MANY PEOPLE THAT WELL.

THEY'RE ALL REALLY NICE, SO THAT'S GOOD.

MY MOM, SHE WAS SURPRISED, 'CAUSE, LIKE, I'M NOT REALLY A THEATER-TYPE PERSON, BUT THIS ISN'T LIKE THAT KIND OF THEATER, WHERE IT'S LIKE, "OH, YOU'RE DOING A MUSICAL, YOU'RE SINGING, YOU'RE DANCING."

NO, YOU'RE TELLING YOUR STORY, LIKE, JUST IN THE THEATER FORM.

[ ALL TALKING, INDISTINCT ] O'Roark: IN THE FIRST YEAR, WE HAD 17 KIDS.

AND THAT WAS MY BIG RECRUITING YEAR.

[ LAUGHS ] 'CAUSE IT WAS LIKE, EVERYONE, "WHAT IS THIS AGAIN?"

"WHAT ARE WE DOING?"

AND I'M -- AND TRUTHFULLY MY ANSWER WAS, "WE'RE GOING TO WRITE A NEW PLAY."

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO BE THEIR OWN STORIES.

FORTUNATELY, I'D BEEN AT RUTH ECKERD HALL FOR 6 YEARS.

AND THAT'S THE ONLY EVER YEAR I'VE HAD TO RECRUIT.

I PUT A SIGN-UP SHEET OUTSIDE, AND I SAID, "DO YOU WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS NEXT YEAR?"

AND SO IT WENT FROM 17 TO 29 TO 39 TO FORTY-- WE HAVE 46 THIS YEAR.

WHOA!

IT'S 112 QUESTIONS.

YES.

SOME OF THESE QUESTIONS ARE VERY PERSONAL.

I WANT TO MAKE SURE THIS IS VERY CLEAR.

"PROJECT: SHATTERED SILENCE" HAS NEVER BEEN ABOUT EXPOSING YOUR DARKEST SECRETS.

I'M NOT UP FOR PUTTING ANYTHING ON STAGE THAT YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT.

THIS IS NOT AN EXPOS.

THIS IS NOT, "PLEASE, PLEASE, I NEED DRAMA!"

LIFE IS DRAMATIC ENOUGH.

IT'S A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE, GOING THROUGH THE SURVEY.

THERE'S SO MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF QUESTIONS.

SOME ARE REALLY PERSONAL AND MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF AND HOW YOU ARE SPECIFICALLY, EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY.

I THINK IT REVEALS WHO YOU ARE A LOT.

WHEN I PUT THE SURVEY TOGETHER, WHAT I DO IS I TEND TO TRY TO FIND COMPLICATED QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS THAT ARE GOING TO MAKE THEM THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX, MAKE THEM THINK ABOUT THEIR LIFE A LITTLE MORE IN DETAIL.

THINGS THAT WILL MAKE THEM CRY OR WILL MAKE THEM ANGRY.

'CAUSE I THINK BY CONFRONTING THOSE, THAT'S WHEN YOU START TO HEAL YOURSELF OR WHEN YOU START TO ACTUALLY GROW INTO YOURSELF.

Boy: HE KIND OF TEASES OUT THESE STORIES THAT WE HAVE AND THAT WE'RE NOT NECESSARILY USED TO TALKING ABOUT, WE'RE NOT NECESSARILY -- WE DON'T REALLY THINK OF THEM AS TOPICS THAT COULD BE THEATRICAL.

BUT HE'S VERY GOOD AT STAGING DIFFERENT THINGS.

JARED'S A REALLY COOL GUY.

HE'S A MENTOR TO ALL OF US, AND HE'S A REALLY, REALLY GOOD DIRECTOR, AND HE'S DEFINITELY A REALLY GREAT, LIKE, PROTECTOR, EVEN.

HE READS ALL OF OUR FOLLOW-UPS.

HE'S THE PERSON WHO MAKES SURE THAT NONE OF THIS GOES FARTHER THAN IT NEEDS TO GO, THAT NOTHING THAT WE DON'T WANT HEARD GETS HEARD.

WAKE UP ALL THE PEOPLE, STOP O'Roark: EVERY YEAR WE DEVELOP A THEME.

"IN THE BLUE HOUR" IS SYMBOLIC OF A TON OF THINGS.

IT'S SIMPLY THE LIGHT WHERE THE DARKNESS ENDS AND THE SUNLIGHT BEGINS.

IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE 18 OR 33 OR 53 OR 109.

THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING HAPPENING, SOMETHING DARK, SOMETHING SCARY.

BUT IF YOU WAIT IT OUT...

EVENTUALLY THAT LIGHT IS GOING TO COME.

"WHAT BREAKS YOUR HEART?"

"THE SCHOOL SHOOTING DEAD, AND SHOOTING IN GENERAL.

I AM NO STRANGER TO THE SOUNDS OF GUNSHOTS, OR WATCHING SOMEONE DIE..." OH, GOSH.

YOU WERE REALLY HONEST THIS YEAR.

AFTER THE SURVEY, I SIT DOWN WITH THEM TO WRITE THEIR PIECES.

THAT'S WHEN THE JUGGLING STARTS.

YOU START TO SIT DOWN WITH THEM ONE ON ONE.

"WHAT EVENT THAT'S HAPPENED WITHIN YOUR LIFE HAS MADE YOU SAD FOR HUMANITY AS A WHOLE?"

"THE ELECTION -- I MEAN, HEARING PEOPLE TALK SO BAD ABOUT PEOPLE WHO NEED ASSISTANCE."

IT HURT SO BAD, BECAUSE IT WAS JUST LIKE -- LIKE, IF YOU KNEW, LIKE, IF THEY KNEW HOW MUCH THE GOVERNMENT ACTUALLY HELPS ME OUT, LIKE, I WAS CRYING.

THERE WAS PEOPLE I KNEW FOREVER, AND THEY WERE JUST LIKE, "OH, THESE PEOPLE ARE SCUM.

WHY WERE THEY EVER USING--" AND I JUST FELT LIKE THEY WERE ALL TALKING ABOUT ME, BECAUSE I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.

O'Roark: I THINK THAT'S WHEN THEY TRULY GET TO KNOW ME.

IN THE BEGINNING, I WANT THEM TO HAVE TRUST IN EACH OTHER.

IT'S AFTER THE SURVEY THAT I NEED THEM TO REALLY TRUST ME.

I WAS LIKE, I WAS LIKE 7, AND MY DAD WAS LIKE, "I NEED YOU TO GO OUTSIDE, BECAUSE SHE'S COMING OVER, AND SHE DOESN'T REALLY LIKE LITTLE KIDS."

AND I WENT OUTSIDE, AND MY BROTHERS HAD TO COME GET ME -- FROM AROUND THE BACK AT THE PORCH, THEY CAME TO GET ME.

BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T LIKE LITTLE KIDS.

WHO WAS THIS?

HIS GIRLFRIEND.

I WAS 7, BUT SHE DIDN'T LIKE LITTLE KIDS, SO HE WAS LIKE -- "GOT TO GO."

LIKE, THEY CAN NEVER JUST BE HAPPY JUST WITH ME.

LIKE, IT HAS TO BE SOMEBODY ELSE.

I DON'T KNOW.

O'Roark: THERE ARE SEVERAL TIMES WHERE I SEE IN THEIR EYES THEY'RE NOT READY.

IT'S TOO PAINFUL.

THEATER COMES SECOND.

THIS ISN'T REALLY A THEATER PIECE AS MUCH AS IT IS A PERSON PIECE.

SO I START WITH THE PERSON, AND THEN I GO TO THE THEATER.

WE WERE WALKING -- WE'D JUST PASSED THE CORNER, AND THESE GUYS WERE IN THE CAR, AND THE GUY GOT OUT OF THE CAR, AND HE -- AND THEY SHOT HIM.

LIKE, HE GOT OUT OF THE CAR TO TURN AROUND, TO GO INTO HIS HOUSE, AND THEY SHOT HIM.

I WAS CLEARLY TRYING TO BE AS OPEN AS POSSIBLE IN THIS.

I LOVE IT.

I LOVE IT.

[ SNIFFLES ] I'M CRYING 'CAUSE DON'T THINK -- I DIDN'T THINK THINGS -- I DON'T COME FROM A WORLD WHERE THINGS LIKE THIS EXIST, AND I'M SHELTERED FROM THINGS LIKE THIS EXISTING.

[ LAUGHS ] A BEAUTIFUL GIRL WITH A BEAUTIFUL SMILE WHO HAS, UM... DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS, AND NONE OF THEM ARE FOLLOWING THE STEREOTYPE THAT PEOPLE HAVE IN THEIR HEAD.

THIS YEAR, THERE'S 35 TO 40 DIFFERENT STORIES.

BUT NOW I'M THINKING THEATRICALLY AS WELL.

SO YOU COME UP WITH 40 DIFFERENT WAYS TO TELL DIFFERENT STORIES.

OKAY, FINE.

NO, I SEE WHERE OUR FRIENDSHIP IS.

PIECES, AND YOU FIGURE OUT HOW THE PUZZLE WORKS TOGETHER.

OR YOU COULD SAY, LIKE, "A FORCE FOR GOOD IN THE WORLD."

O'Roark: OKAY.

WHATEVER YOU WANT.

NO, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT ON STAGE.

[ LAUGHS ] OKAY, "A FORCE FOR GOOD IN THE WORLD."

O'Roark: OKAY.

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WHAT I'M TYPING IN HERE IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO STRESS ABOUT, "WHAT IS JARED TYPING IN?"

YOU FOUR WILL BE IN ALL SIX SHOWS, BOTH WEEKENDS.

UM, OKAY, SO YOU HAVE YOUR LETTER.

WHAT YOU WROTE DOES NOT MATTER.

YOU WROTE FROM YOUR HEART.

THAT'S ALL THEY CARE ABOUT.

MY FIRST LEAD ROLE IN A HIGH SCHOOL PRODUCTION, AND YOU WEREN'T THERE.

[ SNIFFLES ] YOU'VE MISSED ALL MY SHOWS.

YOU WERE THERE "IN SPIRIT," AS EVERYONE SAYS.

BUT I DIDN'T SEE YOU.

YOU'VE RUINED THAT MOMENT FOR ME.

A MOMENT THAT SHOULD BE SO SPECIAL, SO BEAUTIFUL -- RUINED BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID.

[ SNIFFLES ] I'M THE CAT IN THE HAT, DADDY.

I'M MY DREAM ROLE, AND YOU'RE NOT HERE.

YOU CHOSE TO LEAVE ME.

AND GUESS WHO GETS BLAMED FOR IT.

ME.

YOUR WHOLE FAMILY HAS DECIDED THAT I'M THE REASON THAT YOU ARE DEAD.

I PUT THAT NOOSE AROUND YOUR NECK.

O'Roark: OKAY, WHY DON'T YOU PAUSE RIGHT THERE?

'CAUSE I'M OKAY.

[ LAUGH-CRIES ] IT'S OKAY.

DON'T YOU WORRY.

IT FELT GOOD.

GOOD.

I'M VERY GLAD.

Girl: I WAKE UP EVERY DAY, AND THE FIRST THING I THINK ABOUT IS, "MY FATHER COMMITTED SUICIDE."

BUT I'M STILL HERE.

I -- I COULD HAVE DONE WHAT MY DAD DID.

I'M SURE THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO, YOU KNOW, MAYBE THEY'VE LOST SOMEONE TO SUICIDE.

I WANT TO USE MY STORY TO GIVE OTHERS STRENGTH.

I ACTUALLY HAVE "STRENGTH" TATTOOED ON MY WRIST.

AND YES, IT'S A REMINDER OF THE PAIN, BUT WITH PAIN COMES STRENGTH.

Girl: MY FAMILY REMEMBERS CUBA AT ITS PEAK, WHEN THE CUBAN PESO HAD MORE VALUE THAN THE AMERICAN DOLLAR.

IN MY CHILDHOOD, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT COMMUNISM WAS, BUT I KNEW THAT MY FAMILY WAS AGAINST IT.

O'Roark: ANA'S STORY IS AMAZING.

Ana: WE WANTED TO BE FREE.

WE WANTED TO COME TO AMERICA AND SAY, "I CAN SPEAK MY MIND."

IN CUBA, YOU DON'T HAVE THAT.

PEOPLE ARE BRAINWASHED, AND PEOPLE ARE TAUGHT THAT AMERICA IS BAD, CUBA IS GOOD, FIDEL IS YOUR GOD.

IN CUBA, YOU DON'T OWN ANYTHING.

IN CUBA, YOU DON'T OWN YOUR HOUSE.

IN CUBA, YOU DON'T OWN YOUR BUSINESS.

IN CUBA, YOU DON'T OWN AN ANIMAL THAT YOU HAVE.

[ ROOSTER CROWS ] OUR FAMILY HAS ALWAYS HAD A FARM.

EVERYTHING IS FROM THE GOVERNMENT.

YOU CAN'T KILL YOUR OWN COW.

IF YOU'RE CAUGHT EATING LOBSTER OR COW, THAT'S ILLEGAL, AND YOU'LL GO TO PRISON.

MY DAD'S FRIEND, HE'S BEEN IN PRISON 30 YEARS BECAUSE HE WAS CAUGHT WITH COW MEAT IN THE BACK OF HIS CAR.

"TO THOSE COURAGEOUS MEN AND WOMEN WHO CAME TO THIS COUNTRY IN SEARCH OF PERSONAL FREEDOM, ECONOMIC OPPORTUNITY, AND A FUTURE OF HOPE FOR THEIR FAMILIES."

O'Roark: ANA WAS ONLY 10 YEARS OLD WHEN SHE ARRIVED IN AMERICA WITH HER FAMILY.

SIX MONTHS LATER, HER FATHER, UNFORTUNATELY, DIED IN A CAR WRECK.

ANA'S NIGHTMARE WAS FAR FROM OVER.

SHE HAD AN EVIL STEPFATHER, WHICH MADE HER LIFE A LIVING HELL.

Gomez: WE WERE SUFFERING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

ALL KINDS OF ABUSE.

ONE DAY WE MANAGED TO ESCAPE.

[ TRAIN HORN HONKS ] AND MY MOM, SHE PAWNED HER WEDDING RINGS, AND WE GOT SOME MONEY AND GOT IN THE TRAIN AND CAME HERE TO TAMPA.

[ HORN HONKS ] WE DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, BECAUSE WE WERE HOMELESS.

WE WOULD JUST GO TO A HOSPITAL OR -- AND THEN WE WOULD JUST SLEEP THERE.

I REMEMBER ONE TIME, WE WERE ON SOME SIDEWALK, AND WE WERE, LIKE, JUST STARING AT EACH OTHER, LIKE, "WHAT DO WE DO NOW?"

AND ALL WE COULD THINK WAS, "GOD HAS A PURPOSE, YOU KNOW, WE'RE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS."

I GOT INTRODUCED TO DEBBIE, WHO'S MY MENTOR, AND, LIKE, SHE'S MORE THAN MY MENTOR.

SHE'S LIKE MY BEST FRIEND.

LOVE YOU.

LOVE YOU TOO.

BYE.

MY MOM IS AN IMMIGRANT WHO DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, WHO HAS TO WORK 12 HOURS A DAY SOMETIMES TO MAKE ENDS MEET.

AND I COMPLETELY APPRECIATE THAT, SO NOW I HAVE SOMEBODY WHO CAN HELP ME.

THERE'S AN AMERICAN FLAG IN MY HEART.

THIS COUNTRY MADE ME HUMAN.

IT TOLD ME, "YOU HAVE A HEART, YOU HAVE A MIND, YOU HAVE A SOUL.

YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE TO THE WORLD."

O'Roark: SHE IS WHAT "PROJECT: SHATTERED SILENCE" IS ABOUT.

IT'S ABOUT, WHAT HAVE YOU GROWN FROM, WHAT HAVE YOU BUILT FROM, AND ANA IS THE EPITOME OF THAT.

ANA, JENNA, ADRIANA, RACHEL, AND ARMANI.

WE'RE GOING TO READ IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH AS IF IT'S ONE PIECE.

WE ALL KNOW IT'S TWO.

MOST OF THE PIECES ARE EITHER IN THE FIRST OR SECOND WEEKEND OF SHOWS.

THE MORE UNIQUE STORIES ARE IN ALL SIX OF THE SHOWS.

IF YOU'RE IN IT, STAND UP AND GO.

MY SCARS ARE NOT PERFECT.

THEY'RE SCATTERED AND ERRATIC.

THEY'RE DIFFERENT SIZES.

THEY SIT ON MY ARM IN A CHAOTIC PATTERN, AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEM, I AM REMINDED THAT I'M NOT PERFECT AND LIFE CAN BE CHAOTIC AT TIMES.

O'Roark: IT'S FUN TO WATCH THEM SEE SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY.

THEY'RE ACTUALLY LISTENING TO SOMEONE FOR THE FIRST TIME, GOING, "WHOA!

I DID NOT KNOW THAT WAS HAPPENING IN YOUR LIFE, AND I'VE SEEN YOU FOR SIX MONTHS."

HE'S LIKE, "I WANT TO GET OPENLY ANALYTICAL ABOUT EVERYTHING --" SLOW DOWN, EVERTON, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

LET ME CLARIFY A LITTLE.

WHAT EVERTON IS TRYING TO SAY IS, HE WANTS BLACK FRIENDS.

Girl: SO HOW MANY BLACK FRIENDS DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE?

Foster: LIKE THREE, TO BE HONEST.

JAYSHA, JAYSHA'S SISTER, AND DINA.

DOES DINA LIKE RAP MUSIC?

YEAH, OF COURSE SHE LIKES RAP MUSIC.

SHE'S A BLACK SLAM POET.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

[ LAUGHTER ] HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT DINA LIKES RAP IF YOU'VE NEVER TALKED TO HER ABOUT RAP?

WAY TO BE STEREOTYPICAL.

HE WALKS OUT.

MY NAME IS DINA, I LOVE RAP, I LIKE TUPAC SHAKUR, AND I'M BLACK.

[ LAUGHTER ] BOOM!

O'Roark: I TRY TO MAKE SURE THAT THE KIDS WHO DEAL WITH LIFE'S PROBLEMS WITH HUMOR, THAT THEY'RE SHOWCASED TOO, BECAUSE IN MANY WAYS, ADULTS CAN LEARN FROM THAT WAY OF THINKING.

I WILL HAVE A TALK SHOW.

I WILL WRITE A BOOK.

I WILL PLAY ROLLER DERBY.

I WILL ABSOLUTELY BE ON "SNL."

AND IF YOU MEET BEYONC -- YOU MEAN IF BEYONC MEETS ME?

WELL, THEN SHE WILL SEE THE BEST PERFORMANCE SHE WILL EVER WITNESS IN HER LIFE.

SHHH.

AND THE CAR PULLED OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY, AS IF TO LEAVE, AND THE DRIVER SAID SOMETHING, AND THE SKINNY GUY TURNED AROUND AND THREW UP HIS FINGERS AS IF TO SAY GOODBYE AND TURNED BACK AROUND.

AND YOU COULD SEE THE GUN COME OUT OF THE CAR, AND THEY SHOT HIM.

AND THE FIRST REACTION I HAD WAS TO SCREAM, BUT BEFORE I COULD DO THAT, MY BROTHER PUT HIS HANDS OVER MY MOUTH.

SHHH.

O'Roark: WHAT MAKES THIS YEAR TO ME SO POWERFUL IS THAT THE TOPICS ARE GETTING BRAVER AND BRAVER AND TOUGHER AND TOUGHER.

IT'S NOT SO MUCH THE TOPICS THEY ARE GOING THROUGH, AS MUCH AS IT IS THE FACT THAT THEY'RE BRAVE ENOUGH TO SPEAK ABOUT GOING THROUGH IT.

NICHOLAS HATHAWAY!

MY PARENTS BAKER ACTed HIM WHEN THE POLICE TOOK BRIAN TO THE PSYCH WARD.

IT WAS A FELONY OFFENSE TO KEEP A MINOR IN THE HOUSE IF THERE WAS A CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER.

AND BECAUSE OF HIS PSYCHOSIS, HE WAS REALLY UNPREDICTABLE AND SOMETIMES ERRATIC AND VIOLENT.

SO WHEN HE WAS RELEASED, MY PARENTS DECIDED TO SEND ME TO MY GRANDMOTHER'S TO LIVE THERE FOR A FEW MONTHS SO THEY COULD FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH BRIAN.

O'Roark: ANA GOMEZ.

FIRE!

WE LEFT FROM CUBA -- MY MOTHER, MY FATHER, MY BROTHER, AND I -- ON DECEMBER 18, 2005.

HOWEVER, LIVING IN AMERICA BRINGS BRAND-NEW CHALLENGES.

MY FATHER HAD HAD AN ACCIDENT.

MY MOTHER FINALLY TOLD ME IN A CHURCH THAT, AFTER SIX MONTHS AND THREE DAYS IN AMERICA, MY FATHER HAD DIED.

HE HAD THE WRECK THE DAY AFTER FATHER'S DAY.

AFTER THREE YEARS, MY MOTHER AND THIS MAN GOT MARRIED.

IN HIS WAYS OF CONTROLLING, HE WOULD START DOING THINGS THAT I KNEW WERE QUESTIONABLE.

THEN THINGS ESCALATED -- MORE VIOLENT.

HE BEATS ME TO THE FLOOR, KICKED ME, AND WHEN HE STOPPED, I HAD CUTS UNDER ONE EYE, BRUISES UNDER BOTH.

I HAD MARKS ALL OVER.

MY RIBS WERE BRUISED.

Girl: HOW DID YOU LEAVE?

WE DIDN'T LEAVE.

WE ESCAPED.

THIS IS, LIKE, OVERWHELMINGLY A LOT, AND IT'S SO GREAT.

YEAH, WE READ THROUGH EVERYONE'S PIECES, AND IT'S JUST LIKE, LISTENING TO WHAT THEY THINK, AND IT'S REALLY PERSONAL, AND YOU GET TO KNOW THEM BETTER.

IT IS A LITTLE, LIKE, EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTING.

IT'S THE DAY WE ALL REALLY START BECOMING A FAMILY, BECAUSE "PROJECT: SHATTERED SILENCE" IS THIS FAMILY.

LIKE, DANIELLE IS MY BEST FRIEND.

BUT THEN, LIKE, THE READ-THROUGH COMES, AND, LIKE, I DIDN'T KNOW A STORY OR TWO THAT SHE TALKED ABOUT.

YOU KNOW, WE LEARN EACH OTHER'S STORIES, AND IT'S A BONDING DAY.

TODAY IS A VERY LONG DAY.

IT'S A GRUELING DAY.

AND I'M USUALLY GETTING THINGS THAT I HAVE TO RE-EDIT AND REDO, BECAUSE IT'S AN ORIGINAL PIECE OF THEATER, SO IT'S A LIVING, BREATHING THING UNTIL THE VERY FIRST NIGHT.

SO IT'S NOT THE FINAL, FINAL SCRIPT.

SINCE MY PIECE IS ABOUT HOW I USED TO BE A BULLY, AND SO MANY OF THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THERE HAVE BEEN BULLIED, UH...I'M VERY NERVOUS THAT...

IT MIGHT NOT END THE BEST FOR ME.

I DON'T THINK I'LL BE, UH, CHASED OUT LIKE A MONSTER, BUT I, I ALSO DON'T WANT TO TRIVIALIZE THEIR EXPERIENCES BY STATING MY OWN, BECAUSE THEIR EXPERIENCES ARE JUST AS BAD AS, WELL, HOW I FELT WHEN I WAS DOING IT.

WHEN I WAS BULLYING, I FELT LIKE I HAD POWER.

THERE IS NO GOOD REASON TO BULLY SOMEONE.

LOSING AT A VIDEO GAME IS NOT A GOOD EXCUSE TO WHIP A KID WITH A CORD.

LOSING IN A CHILDHOOD WOODEN-SWORD FIGHT IS NO EXCUSE FOR POKING A KID IN THE EYE.

BULLYING MADE ME FEEL I WAS IMPACTING SOMEONE'S LIFE, INSTEAD OF JUST WANDERING, LOST, IN THE CROWD.

JAKE KINGSLEY AND RYAN.

"FAGGOT, FAGGOT, FAGGOT."

[ CHUCKLES ] HE CALLED ME THAT A LOT.

"FAGGOT, FAGGOT, FAGGOT."

IT STARTED WITH NAMES, BUT THE NAMES TURNED INTO ACTION.

AND EVERY DAY THE SAME KID WOULD TRY AND BUILD ON WHAT HE DID THE DAY BEFORE.

HE WOULD FIND NEW WAYS TO CRACK ME.

THEY WOULD TRY AND CRACK ME EVERY DAY ON THE BUS.

HE THREATENED TO CUT ME WITH A KNIFE.

AND I STARTED TO BELIEVE EVERY NAME THEY CALLED ME.

I STARTED TO BELIEVE I WAS WORTHLESS.

THEIR VOICES WOULD GET LOUDER AND LOUDER.

AND LOUDER AND LOUDER.

Both: UNTIL ALL I WANTED WAS FOR THEM TO STOP.

O'Roark: THEY DO SO.

LIGHTS GO DOWN.

THEY'RE TEENS.

THEY WANT TO SPEAK.

THEY WANT TO BE HEARD.

AND I'M SORRY, WE AS ADULTS ARE NOT DOING A VERY GOOD JOB AT MAKING THEM HEARD.

THIS GUY HAD GOTTEN SO VIOLENT THAT HE PULLED A KNIFE ON ME.

[ CHUCKLES ] IT WAS -- IT WAS AN EYE-OPENER FOR ME, AND I HOPE IT WILL BE FOR THE AUDIENCE, JUST TO SEE THE SCALE OF THESE THINGS AND HOW OUT OF HAND IT CAN GET SOMETIMES.

SHE HAD AN AFFECTIONATE SMILE AND A GLOWING FACE.

SHE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO LIVE PAST TWO WEEKS, BUT SHE GREW UP TO SING AND DANCE.

SHE WAS INSPIRATIONAL.

Girl: HOW LONG DID SHE LIVE FOR?

NINETEEN YEARS.

WERE YOU TWO CLOSE?

[ SNIFFLES ] O'Roark: YOU OKAY?

[ CRYING ] SORRY.

O'Roark: NO, DON'T BE SORRY.

DO NOT BE SORRY.

YOU WANT ME TO GO FOR YOU?

EVERYONE KNEW THE PASCH SISTERS.

WE WERE REALLY CLOSE.

MY MOTHER ENDED UP GIVING HER A KIDNEY, BUT -- I'M GOING TO SKIP THIS FOR RIGHT NOW.

YOU OKAY WITH THAT?

YEAH.

OKAY.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOUR YEARS OF DOING THIS, I WAS AN EMOTIONAL WRECK, AND I'M SURE YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHY.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A BEAUTIFUL YEAR, AND I THINK I'VE TOLD EVERYONE IN HERE, "BEAUTIFUL" TO ME IS TRUTHFUL.

I'M GOING TO PLAY THE SONG THAT WE'RE GOING TO DO AT THE END.

IF YOU'RE LOST AND ALONE OR YOU'RE SINKING LIKE A STONE CARRY ON MAY YOUR PATH BE THE SOUND OF YOUR FEET UPON THE GROUND CARRY ON WHEN WE WERE WRITING IT, I MEAN, LIKE, I GOT TEARY-EYED, BUT, LIKE, I NEVER REALLY, LIKE, BROKE DOWN LIKE I DID TODAY.

BUT NOW I KIND OF AM MORE WORRIED, I GUESS.

HOPEFULLY DURING THE SHOW, THOUGH, IT WON'T HIT ME AS HARD.

I REALLY STARTED TO REALIZE HOW MUCH I MISS HER.

I MEAN, SHE WAS JUST SO AMAZING, AND, LIKE, SHE DIDN'T LET ANYTHING STOP HER.

WELL, SHE WAS BORN WITH BACTERIAL ASSOCIATION.

WHEN SHE WAS BORN, A LOT OF HER ORGANS WERE DISFORMED.

SHE HAD A CLUBBED ARM.

WITH ALL THESE THINGS, SOME OF THEM ARE PAINFUL.

IN 2011, A YEAR BEFORE SHE PASSED, SHE WENT INTO THE HOSPITAL AND ACTUALLY REJECTED A THIRD OF HER KIDNEY.

SHE STARTED GETTING REALLY SICK.

AND SHE JUST WANTED TO STAY IN SCHOOL TILL HER BIRTHDAY, APRIL 2nd, WHICH WAS HER NINETEENTH BIRTHDAY.

AND THAT WAS ACTUALLY HER LAST DAY OF SCHOOL.

SHE HAD A BRAIN BLEED AND PASSED AWAY.

THIS IS THE COVER FOR THE BOOK.

BROOKE ACTUALLY WAS STARTING TO WRITE IT BEFORE SHE PASSED AWAY, SO MY MOM IS FINISHING IT.

THIS WAS AT A MAKE-A-WISH EVENT.

AND WE WERE JUST BEING SILLY.

SHE WAS VOTED "MOST LIKELY TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY" FOR SENIOR SUPERLATIVES.

SHE LOVED TO PAINT.

AND SHE ACTUALLY PAINTED THAT PICTURE -- "DON'T ONLY PRAY FOR THE BAD TO GET BETTER, BUT PRAY FOR THE GOOD TO CONTINUE," WHICH WAS KIND OF HER LITTLE MOTTO BECAUSE SHE KNEW SHE HAD TO DEAL WITH THE BAD, BUT SHE REALLY LIKED TO FOCUS ON THE GOOD.

THE DOCTOR SAID SHE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO WALK AND TALK, BUT, I MEAN, SHE GREW UP TO SING AND DANCE.

SHE WAS A GREAT ACTRESS.

HER DANCING -- SHE WASN'T GOING TO BE LIKE A BALLERINA AT ANY POINT, BUT, I MEAN, SHE COULD -- SHE COULD BUST A MOVE.

AND SHE WAS AN AMAZING SINGER.

SHE MADE HER CD.

EVERYTHING I SEE EVERY PART OF ME I KNOW I CAN CHANGE THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT ARE LIKE ME, LIKE, WHAT ZANE SAID OF HER PIECE, LIKE, THE BAD THINGS DON'T DEFINE WHO YOU ARE.

PEOPLE HAVE EARNED THE STRENGTH THAT THEY HAVE, AND, LIKE, IT'S REALLY TRUE, AND THESE PEOPLE THAT I'VE MET, LIKE, HAVE REALLY OPENED THAT UP TO ME.

I AM DEFINITELY DOING "PROJECT: SHATTERED SILENCE" NEXT YEAR.

Woman: SHE, LIKE, SO DIDN'T WANT TO EVER LET YOU GO.

Hannah: NO MATTER WHAT I'M DOING, IF I'M TALKING ABOUT BROOKE, IT'S THERAPEUTIC.

IT HELPS ME REMEMBER THAT SHE'S NOT BEING FORGOTTEN.

THE MORE PEOPLE I TELL ABOUT HER, THE MORE HER LEGACY LIVES ON.

THE THING I LOVE BEST ABOUT JARED AND THE WHOLE PROJECT IS HE TAKES ALL THESE KIDS FROM DIFFERENT SCHOOLS, SOME ARE BEING RAISED IN SINGLE-FAMILY HOMES, GRANDPARENTS, BOTH PARENTS, BLACK, WHITE, RICH, POOR, AND WHEN THEY GET IN THAT ROOM, THEY'RE ALL THE SAME.

THERE IS A LOYALTY AND AN HONESTY ABOUT THESE KIDS WHEN THEY'RE TOGETHER.

I STOLE A YARMULKE FROM A TEMPLE, AND I FELT HORRIBLE.

[Laughs] NICE!

THAT HE CAN MAKE PEOPLE FEEL SO AT HOME AND CAN TRUST HIM, AND IN THAT TRUST, JARED DEVELOPED THE METHOD WHERE HIGH SCHOOL KIDS WILL GO BEFORE AN AUDIENCE AND SPEAK ABOUT THE MOST PAINFUL, THE MOST OPPRESSIVE, THE MOST FRIGHTENING EXERCISES OF THEIR LIVES.

JARED HAS CREATED A MODEL OF SOMETHING THAT IS SO NECESSARY IN AMERICA AND IN THE WORLD TODAY.

O'Roark: I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW -- AND I THINK "SHATTERED SILENCE" ACTUALLY HELPS THEM WITH THAT -- IT'S OKAY TO TALK.

IT'S ALL RIGHT TO TELL SOMEONE YOUR STORY.

IT'S OKAY TO FEEL THINGS ON THE INSIDE THAT MAYBE YOUR PARENTS DO NOT FEEL.

IT'S OKAY TO BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN EVERYBODY ELSE, WHETHER THAT'S RACE OR RELIGION OR SEXUAL ORIENTATION.

NO MATTER WHAT IT IS, IT'S OKAY.

UM...[Laughs] OH, YEAH.

THAT'S WHEN I KNEW THIS WAS A HARD YEAR, WAS WHEN I WORKED WITH JENNA.

JENNA IS A VERY INTERESTING PERSON, BECAUSE WHEN SHE CAME IN, YOU KNOW SOMETHING'S GOING ON.

BUT SHE'S NOT TALKING, AND YOU'RE LIKE, "THAT'S A TOUGH ONE."

Jenna: I AM WORTHLESS.

I AM UGLY.

I'M NOT WORTH THE AIR.

I AM STUPID.

I WANT IT ALL TO END.

MY SELF-ESTEEM IS LOWER THAN ZERO.

I HAVE NO SELF-CONFIDENCE, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHERE I FIT IN.

I STAY HOME ON A FRIDAY, USUALLY READING FANTASY BOOKS.

IT'S AN ESCAPE.

IT'S A BREAK FROM A REALITY THAT I'M NOT ALL THAT FOND OF.

MY GREAT SPAN OF MENTAL DISORDERS INCLUDE...MINOR POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, AND SOCIAL ANXIETY.

THE ANXIETY SHOWED UP IN THE FOURTH GRADE, WHERE I WAS, LIKE, MAKING UP ASSIGNMENTS, AND I PUT SO MUCH PRESSURE ON MYSELF, AND THAT HAS JUST GOTTEN WORSE.

DEPRESSION IS A SADNESS SO DEEP THAT IT DROWNS YOU, THAT DRAGS YOU DOWN AND KEEPS YOU DOWN, THAT FEELS LIKE THERE IS NO WAY OUT.

YOU'VE HIT THE BOTTOM OF A TRENCH MADE OF ICE.

AND YOU CAN'T CLIMB OUT, AND YOU CAN'T GET WARM, AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS WAIT.

THEN YOU REACH A POINT WHERE YOU CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING, SO YOU MAKE YOURSELF FEEL SOMETHING.

AND YOU CARVE THE HATRED THAT YOU FEEL INTO YOUR SKIN.

YOU GET ADDICTED TO THE ENDORPHINS IT PRODUCES, AND YOU GET ADDICTED TO THE PAIN.

IT'S A COPING METHOD, AND IT LETS YOU...LIVE ANOTHER DAY.

SHE IS A TEENAGER WHO IS GOING THROUGH WHAT, SADLY, MANY TEENAGERS ARE GOING THROUGH.

DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION QUESTIONS, AND KNOWING THAT HER STORY IS NOT UNCOMMON, BUT YET STILL ISN'T ONE THAT HAS BEEN TOLD ENOUGH.

THE BLACK HOLE WAS ALWAYS A SHADOW OF A DOUBT AS TO WHETHER MY CHILD WAS SAFE.

O'Roark: BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL IN TELLING-THE-STORY MODE.

INSTEAD OF ONE OF THE OTHER CAST MEMBERS PLAYING HER MOTHER, HER MOTHER IS ACTUALLY GOING TO COME IN AND PLAY HER MOTHER.

THE BUTTERFLY PROJECT IS A SHIELD FOR CUTTING.

THE IDEA IS THAT YOU DRAW A BUTTERFLY ON YOUR WRIST, ON YOUR THIGHS, WHEREVER YOU HAVE THE URGE TO CUT, AND THEN YOU NAME THE BUTTERFLY SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT.

AND I CHOSE MY MOM, MISSY YATES.

JENNA, ARE THE BUTTERFLIES FOR A FRIEND OR FOR YOU?

IT WAS NAUSEATING TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION.

O'Roark: SO I RAISED MY SLEEVE, AND THE BUTTERFLY WASN'T THERE.

THAT'S WHERE I WANT YOU TO STEP FORWARD.

JENNA'S STORY IS POWERFUL, BUT JENNA IS GOING TO BE OKAY, BECAUSE JENNA IS SMART AND SHE IS SWEET AND SHE WANTS TO HELP.

AND SHE HAS FAMILY THAT REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SUPPORTS HER.

OKAY, SO WE'RE GOING TO TAKE THIS PIECE BY PIECE BY PIECE, AND IF YOU ARE FOCUSED, WE WILL GET THIS DONE REALLY QUICKLY.

GUYS, THIS IS THE HOLY, HOLY, HOLY.

GO AHEAD.

I HAVE THREE GAY UNCLES.

I HAVE SIX GAY UNCLES.

All: HOLY MOLY!

[ LAUGHS ] TWO GAY COUSINS... All: HOLY CRAP!

AND ONE GAY SISTER.

All: HOLY SH-- [ Horn squeaks ] [ LAUGHS ] "I HAVE THREE GAY UNCLES."

THIS IS JUST FOR ME, REALLY.

I HAVE THREE GAY UNCLES.

I HAVE SIX GAY UNCLES.

All: HOLY MOLY!

[ LAUGHS ] TWO GAY COUSINS... All: HOLY CRAP!

ONE GAY SISTER.

All: HOLY SH-- [ Horn squeaks ] [ LAUGHS ] ALL RIGHT, GO SIT DOWN.

WE'RE GOOD.

LISTEN!

YOUR PASSION AND WHO YOU ARE ARE MONUMENTALLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN SOMEONE TEASING YOU OR NOT UNDERSTANDING YOU.

SO IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT I CAN'T GET A GUY WHO'S OUT OF MY LEAGUE -- SCREW THEM!

SCREW YOU!

UH, N-N-NO, NOT TO THEM.

SAY THEM HERE.

SCREW THEM!

SCREW THEM!

SCREW THEM IF THEY DON'T LIKE KNOWING I HAVE A COLLECTION OF CERAMIC LEPRECHAUNS.

SCREW THEM IF THEY DON'T LIKE BLACK SANTAS.

SCREW THEM IF I LIKE TO WEAR WOMEN'S PANTIES.

[ FAST-FORWARDING ] SCREW THEM?

SCREW THEM!

O'Roark: IF ANYONE DARES TO TELL ME THAT "SHATTERED SILENCE" IS NOTHING BUT SAD PIECES, THEN I'LL PUNCH THEM IN THE EYEBALLS.

NOW I'M SENDING YOU ALL OUT SO YOU CAN FINISH EATING, YOU CAN STUDY LINES, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, AND YOU'RE GOING TO COME AND GO THROUGHOUT THE REST OF THE TIME.

[ INDISTINCT CHATTING ] EVERYONE'S SO GENUINE AND GENUINELY LIKES EACH OTHER, AND IT'S JUST SO NICE TO BE IN THAT ENVIRONMENT.

O'Roark: [Laughs] I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M PICKING ON YOU.

I WRITE "SHATTERED SILENCE" IN A SPECIFIC WAY ON PURPOSE, WHICH IS THEM WALKING INTO A LIGHT, STANDING, TALKING.

THOSE CHARACTERS TAKE PLACE BEHIND THEM.

THERE'S VERY LITTLE ACTUAL MOVEMENT.

IT'S TO CREATE THE SENSE OF CONVERSATION THAT THEY'RE HAVING WITH THE AUDIENCE.

...HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THE SAME PAIN THAT I WENT THROUGH.

ZANE, IN THERE, JOSH, WHO IS NOT HERE, MATTHEW, CAMERON, JOHNNY, AND NICHOLAS.

Boy: [ INDISTINCT ] WELL, MAKE SURE THEY GET IN HERE -- THEY GOT 30 SECONDS.

GUYS, WE ONLY HAVE FIVE DAYS UNTIL OPENING NIGHT.

"DEAR BROOKE, SOME DAYS I WISH I -- I WAKE UP, AND I JUST WISH I WAS WITH YOU IN HEAVEN."

AND I DON'T -- SORRY, I DON'T -- O'Roark: OKAY, WHATEVER.

IT'S YOUR SCRIPT.

THAT'S ALL.

I DO FEW REHEARSALS, SO THAT THE STORY ALWAYS STAYS REAL TO THEM.

I PROBABLY SIT DOWN WITH THEM ONCE BEFORE THEY GO THROUGH A TECH AND BEFORE THEY GO AT A DRESS REHEARSAL.

AND I DO THAT ON PURPOSE.

IT'S TO KEEP THEIR STORY FRESH.

"DAD..." DAD, I KNOW YOU'RE UP IN HEAVEN -- NO, IT'S JUST "DAD."

I HAVE TO PUT FAITH IN THEM THAT THEY'LL KNOW THE LINES, THAT THEY'LL KNOW WHERE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO GO.

[Laughs] GUYS!

IT'S LIKE THE TWO HOURS WERE ALMOST POINTLESS.

IF YOU DON'T GO OVER IT AT HOME, IT'S POINTLESS.

HAS TO COME FROM THE HEART, OR NOBODY WILL FEEL IT.

AND THESE FOUR PEOPLE DESERVE THE HONOR WE'RE GIVING THEM.

SO YOU WILL GO HOME, AND YOU WILL PRACTICE THESE LINES.

I'M NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN.

BECAUSE I'M BREAKING UP INSIDE.

THESE FOUR PEOPLE DESERVE IT.

[ PIANO PLAYS ] NOW THAT I DON'T SEE YOU [ LAUGHING ] OH, OH, OH, OH I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO BE NERVE-RACKED.

ONCE THE LIGHT HITS AT 7: 30 PM, I -- IF THEY MESS UP, I HAVE NO CONTROL.

SO I'M ACTUALLY QUITE CALM, FOR THE MOST PART.

I CAN FEEL THAT SUPPORT, AND NO ONE'S JUDGING EACH OTHER, SO WE'RE REALLY DOING WHAT WE'RE PREACHING.

Boy: IT'S NOT THE DESTINATION, IT'S THE JOURNEY THAT YOU HAVE, AND THIS HAS BEEN ONE HECK OF A JOURNEY.

[ CHUCKLES ] WE'VE HAD THE SHOW FOR, LIKE, NINE OR TEN MONTHS, AND WE'VE DONE WHAT WE COULD WITH IT, AND NOW IT'S OURS TO GIVE AWAY AND THE AUDIENCE'S TO GIVE TO OTHER PEOPLE, AND IT'S KIND OF LIKE A TRAIN.

[ PLAYING "SEASONS OF LOVE" ] FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MINUTES HOW DO YOU MEASURE, MEASURE A YEAR?

IN DAYLIGHTS, IN SUNSETS?

IN MIDNIGHTS, IN CUPS OF COFFEE?

IN INCHES, IN MILES, IN LAUGHTER, IN STRIFE?

IN FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND O'Roark: IT'S A GREAT GROUP.

THERE'S NOT A DISRESPECTFUL ONE IN THE BUNCH.

THERE IS NOT A BAD ONE IN THE BUNCH.

I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY HAD A BAD ONE, IN FOUR YEARS.

[ CLAPPING ] I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

SO, IN THROUGH THE NOSE, OUT THROUGH THE MOUTH.

PICTURE THE EMOTION OF THE STORY YOU ARE TELLING.

ALL RIGHT, READY, WE'RE GOING TO JUMP FIVE TIMES UP AND DOWN, AND THEN SCREAM.

READY, GO!

All: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

[ SCREAMING ] O'Roark: HAVE A GREAT SHOW, GUYS.

Announcer: AND NOW WE PROUDLY PRESENT "PROJECT: SHATTERED SILENCE, IN THE BLUE HOUR."

[ APPLAUSE ] THE BLUE HOUR -- THE PERIOD OF TWILIGHT EACH MORNING AND EVENING, NOT FULLY DAY, NOT FULLY NIGHT.

IT SHOWS GROWTH, DEVELOPMENT, AND THE TIME BEFORE THE DAY TRULY BECOMES CLEAR.

THEY DIDN'T WANT ANY BABY, THEY WANTED ME.

IT'S HARD FOR ME TO LOOK AT MYSELF AND MY PARENTS AND LOOK AT OTHER FAMILIES AND SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US.

IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU I WAS ADOPTED, THERE'S A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE YOU WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW.

ADOPTING A CHILD IS LIKE OPENING A NEW PRESENT EVERY DAY.

I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT OUR LIVES WERE LIKE BEFORE YOU BECAME A PART OF THEM.

BUT I KNOW THEY WEREN'T AS GOOD AS THEY HAVE BEEN WITH YOU IN THEM.

Both: RACHEL, WE LOVE YOU.

MY PARENTS HAVE NEVER MADE ME FEEL UNWANTED.

I LOVE THEM JUST THE WAY THEY ARE, AND THEY LOVE ME JUST THE WAY I AM.

THEY ARE NOT MY ADOPTIVE PARENTS.

THEY ARE MY REAL PARENTS.

AND I WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.

[ APPLAUSE ] LAURA, YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.

HOW DOES A PERSON EVER FEEL GOOD ENOUGH?

THE WORLD'S A BIG PLACE, AND I'M JUST ONE PERSON, AND SOMETIMES THAT FEELS REALLY INSIGNIFICANT.

SO I TELL MYSELF... Group: "WHAT I SAY DOESN'T MATTER.

NOBODY CARES ABOUT WHAT I THINK.

I'M JUST A WASTE OF SPACE."

AND EVERYTHING WOULD BECOME HEIGHTENED, AND MY BREATHING WOULD SPEED UP.

TRY TO COUNTERACT THE NEGATIVE BY TELLING MYSELF, "ONE PERSON CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE."

AND I'D GET STUCK BETWEEN THE SEA OF VOICES SHOUTING LOUDER THAN I CAN THINK.

IT FEELS AS IF IT DOESN'T MATTER...

I CAN NEVER FIT THE BILL.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT.

THE VOICES KEEP CHANTING AND CHANTING, CHANTING... TILL FINALLY I'VE HAD ENOUGH!

QUIET.

PEACE.

A BREATH OF FRESH AIR.

I'VE BEEN THERE.

AND IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, YOU'VE BEEN THERE.

Boy and girl: YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.

THREE TIMES ON FACEBOOK DOES NOT A FRIEND MAKE.

SHUT UP.

BUT ANYWAY, ME AND DINA ARE TIGHT.

DOES DINA LIKE RAP MUSIC?

SHE'S A BLACK SLAM POET.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

HI, I'M DINA, I LOVE RAP, I LIKE TUPAC SHAKUR, AND I'M BLACK.

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] TO CLARIFY, IT'S NOT THAT I'M NOT RACIST BECAUSE I'M BLACK.

I'M NOT RACIST BECAUSE I'M NOT RACIST.

Girl: OKAY, WHAT IS THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS?

IT'S WITTY BANTER!

GET INTO IT.

Girl: BUT WHAT IS THE POINT?

EVERTON WANTS MORE BLACK FRIENDS.

THAT IS NOT THE POINT.

YES -- AS THE GREAT ROSA PARKS ONCE SAID, "NO!"

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] WHAT DOES POPULAR EVEN MEAN?

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE THERE'S THIS BIG GOD OF POPULARITY THAT JUST SHINES HIS COUNTENANCE DOWN UPON THE CHOSEN FEW AND THEY ARE DEEMED POPULAR.

[Deep voice] KAYLEY.

[ LAUGHTER ] YES?

KAYLEY CARUSO.

YES.

THIS IS THE GOD OF POPULARITY.

YOU'RE REAL?

YES.

OH!

WELL... AM I POPULAR?

[Chuckles] NO.

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] WELL, THEN WHAT AM I?

YOU'RE A NERD.

THERE ARE BILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF STARS OUT THERE, EACH WITH ITS OWN LIGHT AND OWN CHARACTERISTICS.

I LOVE ANIME AND VIDEO GAMES AND COMICS, AND EATING.

I LOVE MY FLAT CHEST AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT'S GOING TO MAKE ME DIFFERENT OR ODD OR NERDY.

AND IF THEY DON'T LIKE IT, WELL, THEN, I EXPECT TO HEAR THIS FROM ALL OF YOU IN ONE, BIG, LOUD VOICE ON THE COUNT OF THREE... 1, 2, 3!

All: SCREW THEM!

YOU GOT IT!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AND PINK!

I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE COLOR PINK PER SE, IT'S THE "HEE HEE HEE" TYPE OF PINK THAT SHOULD BE KILLED!

JUST DO YOURSELF A FAVOR.

LEAVE.

IF I HAD TO CHOOSE, I WOULD CHOOSE ANDROGYNOUS.

WELL, IT MEANS WHEN YOU MIX AND MATCH CLOTHES FROM BOTH GENDERS, AND IT'S NOT CROSS-DRESSING, IT'S NOT DRAG QUEEN, IT'S ME BEING ME.

I'M THE FIRST GIRL IN MY SCHOOL TO ACTUALLY PLAY IN THE GAMES FOR OUR TEAM.

I'M THE KICKER.

BUT I USED TO PLAY IN THE "D" LINE.

I'M NOT NEW TO DOUBTERS.

I'M NOT NEW TO HATERS.

THE FACT IS, I'M A GIRL -- AND I'M A GUY -- I LOVE SPORTS -- I LOVE FASHION -- AND DOUBTERS -- AND HATERS -- CAN JUST STOP WASTING YOUR TIME.

I AM FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS.

AND WE ARE RUNWAY READY.

[ POP PLAYS ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I KNOW WHAT THE LEGAL DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE IS, BUT IN ORDER TO INCLUDE MY ENTIRE FAMILY, I HAVE TO DEFINE IT DIFFERENTLY.

Boy: THEN DEFINE MARRIAGE.

"WHEN TWO PEOPLE BECOME ONE."

WHEN TWO PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER.

I HAVE THREE GAY UNCLES.

I HAVE SIX GAY UNCLES.

All: HOLY MOLY!

[ LAUGHTER ] TWO GAY COUSINS... All: HOLY CRAP!

AND ONE GAY SISTER.

All: HOLY SH-- [Horn squeaks] [ LAUGHTER ] THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH GAY PEOPLE ON THIS STAGE TO REPRESENT HOW MANY GAY PEOPLE I HAVE IN MY FAMILY.

THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH GAY PEOPLE IN A DRAG SHOW IN A GAY BAR IN SAN FRANCISCO TO REPRESENT ALL THE GAY PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY.

[ LAUGHTER ] I WILL STAND UP WITH PASSION FOR THE RIGHT TO SHOW LOVE.

BECAUSE, AFTER ALL, LOVE IS LOVE.

LOVE IS LOVE.

Both: WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED?

[ APPLAUSE ] WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME, YOU PROBABLY THINK I'M YOUNG.

I'M ACTUALLY 17.

YOU PROBABLY ALSO SEE SOMEONE WHO'S TIMID, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF MY BAD POSTURE.

I TEND TO LOOK DOWN AND SLOUCH A LOT BECAUSE IT HELPS TO MAKE ME FEEL SMALL AND UNNOTICED.

I FEEL INVISIBLE.

Girl: SO, CORY, WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT MAKES YOU SHINE?

I...LOVE TO DO PHOTOGRAPHY.

IT CAN CAPTURE THE WORLD IN SUCH A UNIQUE AND ARTISTIC WAY.

I...LOVE HOW I CAN LAUGH AND SMILE EASILY.

I GENUINELY CARE ABOUT OTHERS.

GOOD.

NOW, THAT'S THE ONLY CORY THAT ANYBODY EVER NEEDS TO SEE.

[ APPLAUSE ] IF YOU WANT TO BE A BUSINESSMAN, BE A BUSINESSMAN!

IF YOU WANT TO BE A DOCTOR, BE A DOCTOR!

AND IF YOU WANT TO BE BEYONC, YOU BE BEYONC!

All: OH Beyonc: ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, PUT YOUR HANDS UP UP IN THE CLUB, WE JUST BROKE UP I'M DOING MY OWN LITTLE THING DECIDED TO DIP AND NOW YOU WANNA TRIP 'CAUSE ANOTHER BROTHER NOTICED ME IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT DON'T BE MAD ONCE YOU SEE THAT HE WANT IT IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT OH, OH, OH [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I NEVER TRULY APPRECIATED PETER PAN UNTIL RECENTLY.

WHEN I WAS A KID, I DIDN'T REALLY APPRECIATE THE CONCEPT OF A BOY WHO NEVER GREW UP, UNTIL IT WAS TIME TO GROW UP.

I'VE MADE DECISIONS AS A CHILD ON HOW TO DEAL WITH GROWN-UP EMOTIONS.

MY SOPHOMORE YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL, I FELL INTO A DEPRESSION.

AND I HAD ALL THESE FEELINGS, AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHY I WAS HAVING THESE FEELINGS, AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH THESE FEELINGS.

A-AND THEY ONLY GOT MORE INTENSE, TO THE POINT WHERE HURTING MYSELF WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD THINK OF TO STOP FEELING.

I DIDN'T CARE IF I WENT TOO FAR.

I WANTED TO DIE.

YOU PROBABLY CAN'T SEE IT, BUT THERE ARE ZIGZAG LINES ON MY WRIST THAT STAND AS A CONSTANT REMINDER OF WHAT I'VE OVERCOME.

LAST SUMMER, I TOOK A TRIP TO DISNEY, AND MY GOAL WAS TO FIND PETER PAN AND HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HIM AND TAKE A PICTURE WITH HIM.

AND I MET THAT GOAL, BUT WHILE HE WAS GESTURING, I NOTICED A HUGE SCAR THAT RAN FROM THE TOP OF HIS WRIST HALFWAY DOWN.

I KNEW WHAT THAT SCAR WAS, AND THAT SCAR GAVE ME HOPE.

IT SHOWED ME THAT MY SCARS DON'T HAVE TO HOLD ME BACK FROM FOLLOWING MY DREAMS.

AND LIFE CAN BE CHAOTIC AT TIMES, BUT WITH EVERY STRUGGLE THAT COMES, THAT STRUGGLE ALSO GOES.

DANNY, LIFE KEEPS MOVING FORWARD LIKE A TRAIN.

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS -- [ TRAIN HORN BLOWS ] IT KEEPS MOVING FORWARD.

I NEVER LIVED IN THE SAFEST PART OF MIAMI.

AND ONE NIGHT, WHILE MY DAD WAS SLEEPING, I WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING HUNGRY, BECAUSE I'M THE YOUNGEST, AND COMPLAINING IS MY JOB.

AND MY BROTHER DECIDED THAT HE WOULD TAKE US TO THE CORNER STORE.

IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD, THERE ARE NOT A LOT OF STREETLIGHTS, BUT THERE'S THIS ONE STREETLIGHT THAT JUST FLICKERS.

AND I STARTED TO NOTICE THIS REALLY WEIRD WHITE CAR.

ALL THE WINDOWS WERE REALLY FOGGED UP, AND THE DRIVER'S WINDOW ONLY WAS TINTED.

IT WAS REALLY, REALLY TINTED.

AND I THOUGHT... Girl: HEY, THAT'S WEIRD.

YOU DON'T SEE THAT VERY OFTEN.

THE CAR THEN WENT TO PULL IN THE DRIVEWAY.

AND THIS GUY GOT OUT.

HE WAS A TALL BLACK GUY, AND HE HAD DREADS.

Boy: STOP WALKING.

Girl: WHY ARE WE STOPPING?

Boy: SHHH!

THE CAR PULLED OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY, AND THE DRIVER MUST HAVE YELLED SOMETHING OUT OF THE WINDOW, BECAUSE THE GUY TURNED AROUND.

HE THREW UP HIS HANDS, AS IF TO SAY GOODBYE.

AND HE TURNED BACK AROUND TO WALK TO HIS DOOR, AND THEN YOU SAW IT.

YOU SAW THE GUN COME OUT OF THE DRIVER'S WINDOW, AND HE SHOT HIM.

[ GUNSHOT ] I WANTED TO SCREAM SO BAD, BUT MY BROTHER THREW HIS HANDS OVER MY MOUTH.

Boy: SHH!

WHEN WE LEFT THERE THAT DAY, THAT GUY WAS DEAD.

BUT THE NEXT MORNING WHEN WE GOT UP, THERE WAS NOTHING THERE.

THERE WAS NO BODY, THERE WAS NO BLOOD, THERE WAS NO ANYTHING.

IT WAS AS IF A LIFE COULD JUST BE THROWN AWAY, AND NOBODY WOULD EVEN CARE.

FOR THE LONGEST TIME, I COULD NOT GET THE IMAGE OF HIM DYING OUT OF MY HEAD.

BUT THE TRAIN KEEPS MOVING FORWARD, AND I EVENTUALLY FOUND MY WAY THROUGH IT.

I'VE WATCHED MY GRANDMOTHER TAKE HER LAST BREATH.

I'VE SEEN A GUY THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW SHOT TO DEATH IN FRONT OF ME.

AND ME AND MY MOM HAVE BEEN THROUGH SOME HARD FINANCIAL TIMES.

BUT THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT KNOWING THAT EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH, I'VE BEEN THROUGH IT.

EVERYTHING IS IN THE PAST THE MOMENT THAT IT HAPPENS.

AND WHEN WE WAKE UP, THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT DO NOT GET THAT CHANCE.

I GET ALL THE INFORMATION ABOUT MY BROTHER'S ACCIDENT FROM MY MOTHER AND FROM FOUR WHITE BINDERS IN OUR LIVING ROOM.

THESE WHITE BINDERS ARE FILLED WITH LEGAL DOCUMENTS, MEDICAL EVALUATIONS, AND PICTURES OF THE ACCIDENT.

BRIAN WAS DRIVING WITH TWO OF HIS FRIENDS WHEN HE REACHED DOWN TO PICK UP A CD.

AND AS HE DID, HIS OTHER ARM ACCIDENTALLY PULLED THE STEERING WHEEL TO THE RIGHT, AND HE HIT A CURB, AND THE CAR FLIPPED.

AFTER THE ACCIDENT, BRIAN STAYED IN HIS ROOM MORE OFTEN AND STARTED PLAYING VIDEO GAMES THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT, SO MY PARENTS THOUGHT HE MIGHT BE DEPRESSED.

SOMETIMES MY BROTHER WOULD COMMUNICATE THROUGH WRITTEN NOTES.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO NOT FEEL ANYTHING.

BUT I DO KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

WHEN WE WERE KIDS, WE USED TO PLAY ROLE-PLAYING VIDEO GAMES TOGETHER, USUALLY SIDE BY SIDE IN FRONT OF THE TV.

WE WERE ADVENTURERS IN A FANTASY REALM, HEADING OFF TO BEAT ORCS AND TROLLS AND MONSTERS, AND... VIDEO GAMES WERE NO LONGER A DIVERSION.

THEY WERE EVERYTHING.

BRIAN WOULD VISIT OTHER WORLDS IN THE DELUSIONS OF HIS SCHIZOPHRENIC BRAIN.

VIDEO GAMES ARE WHERE MY BROTHER IS MOST COMFORTABLE.

BUT IN A FEW MONTHS, I'LL BE GOING TO COLLEGE, AND THAT ALL MEANS LESS TIME WITH VIDEO GAMES AND LESS TIME WITH MY BROTHER.

IT'S DIFFICULT FOR ME TO OPEN UP EMOTIONALLY, SO I SELDOM DO.

BUT WHEN BRIAN AND I WERE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES, WE WERE JUST TWO BROTHERS, HANGING OUT, AND LIFE DIDN'T SEEM SO DIFFICULT.

Boy: WHERE DO YOU FIT IN?

I DON'T KNOW WHERE I FIT IN, AND I GOT THE URGE TO MAKE MYSELF DO SOMETHING.

BUT INSTEAD OF GIVING IN TO THE ADDICTION TO CUT, I FOUND AN ALTERNATIVE.

I FOUND THE BUTTERFLY PROJECT.

THE BUTTERFLY PROJECT IS A SHIELD FOR CUTTING.

THE IDEA IS THAT YOU DRAW A BUTTERFLY ON YOUR WRIST, ON YOUR THIGHS, WHEREVER YOU HAVE THE URGE TO CUT, AND YOU NAME THE BUTTERFLY SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT.

MY BEST FRIEND.

MY GRANDPARENTS.

MY SISTER.

MY FAITH.

GOD.

AND I CHOSE MY MOM, MISSY YATES.

I NOTICED SHE DIDN'T HAVE HER BUTTERFLY.

JENNA, DID YOU DRAW YOURS?

OH, I DREW IT FURTHER UP MY ARM.

ROLL YOUR SLEEVES UP.

NO.

DO IT.

NO.

DO IT.

IT WAS A SHOUTING MATCH.

SO I RAISED MY SLEEVE.

THE BUTTERFLY WASN'T THERE.

Missy: BUT THE CUTS WERE.

I ASKED HER WHY.

I AM WORTHLESS.

I AM UGLY.

I AM STUPID.

I AM NOT WORTH THE AIR.

WHILE JENNA WAS IN THE HOSPITAL, MY HUSBAND AND I CONTINUED TO DRAW THE BUTTERFLIES ON OUR WRISTS.

I'M A FIFTH GRADE TEACHER, AND MY STUDENTS NOTICED THE BUTTERFLIES.

I SIMPLY TOLD THEM THAT WHENEVER YOU SEE A BUTTERFLY ON SOMEONE'S WRIST, IT MEANS THAT PERSON NEEDS AN EXTRA HUG.

AND MY STUDENTS MADE "GET WELL" CARDS.

AND IT MADE ME FEEL SPECIAL, BECAUSE THERE WERE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT CARED, EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD NO IDEA.

AND EVEN THOUGH I STILL STRUGGLE WITH MY SELF-ESTEEM, AND I STILL FEEL LIKE A WASTE OF SPACE, IT'S NOT AS CONSTANT AS IT USED TO BE.

AND DESPITE THAT MY PARENTS MAY NOT AGREE OR UNDERSTAND ALL THAT I GO THROUGH, THEY'RE WILLING TO LEARN.

AND WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK FOR?

I'VE GOT THE GREATEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD.

[ APPLAUSE ] IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS THIS MONSTER INSIDE OF ME THAT I COULDN'T CONTROL.

AND I TOOK THAT OUT ON EVERYBODY ELSE, HOPING IT WOULD GIVE ME SOME SENSE OF POWER, SOMETHING I COULD USE TO CONTROL THIS BEAST INSIDE OF ME.

AND I FOUND THAT IN BULLYING.

I WAS MEAN.

I WAS UNCONTROLLABLE.

A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN REGRETS.

I BELIEVE IN REGRETS.

I REGRET THE BAD CHOICES I HAVE MADE, BUT I ALSO ACCEPT THEM FOR WHAT THEY ARE, AND I LEARNED FROM THEM.

ALL I WANTED BACK THEN WAS TO MAKE AN IMPACT ON SOMEBODY ELSE'S LIFE.

I WANTED TO PROVE THAT I WAS THERE AND THAT I EXISTED.

I HAVE MEMORIES THAT GO BACK AS FAR AS PRESCHOOL OF OLDER KIDS PICKING ON ME.

GAY.

CRYBABY.

LOSER.

IN PRESCHOOL, I WAS ALIENATED BY ALL THE KIDS ON THE PLAYGROUND.

NOBODY WOULD INVITE ME TO BE A PART OF THEIR GROUP, AND IF ANYONE SAW ME HEADING TOWARDS THE SWINGS, WHICH WERE MY FAVORITE, THEY WOULD ALL GO AND TAKE THEM OVER BEFORE I COULD GET THERE, BECAUSE THEY KNEW I WASN'T FAST ENOUGH TO BEAT THEM.

WEIRDO.

TUBBY.

FATTY!

WITH INSULTS LIKE THAT, YOUR HEAD ALLOWS THEM TO LINGER, AND THEY BECOME MORE AND MORE POWERFUL, AND THEY OVERTAKE YOU, AND THEN SUDDENLY YOU AREN'T LEFT WITH SOMETHING THAT'S YOU, YOU'RE LEFT WITH SOMETHING THAT THEY THINK IS YOU AND SOMETHING THAT HATES YOU.

EVERY DAY DURING MIDDLE SCHOOL, MY AUNT WOULD MAKE ME LUNCH, AND IN THIS LUNCH, SHE WOULD WRITE THESE LITTLE INSPIRATIONAL LOVE NOTES.

BUT ONE DAY A BULLY FOUND THEM, AND HE STARTED LAUGHING AT ME AND MAKING FUN OF ME.

WUSSY!

SISSY BOY!

[Voice breaks] SO I TOLD HER NOT TO WRITE THOSE NOTES ANYMORE.

AND THEY STOPPED -- WHICH IS NOT AT ALL WHAT I WANTED.

I WOULD STILL OPEN MY LUNCH BAG EVERY DAY, HOPING THERE WOULD BE A NOTE, AND THERE NEVER WAS.

FAGGOT, FAGGOT, FAGGOT.

AT FIRST THEY WERE JUST NAMES, BUT THEN THE NAMES TURNED INTO ACTION.

THEY WOULD TRIP ME WHILE I WAS TRYING TO GET OFF THE BUS.

HE THREATENED TO CUT ME WITH A KNIFE.

[ VOICES IN BACKGROUND ] I BELIEVED EVERY NAME THEY CALLED ME!

I STARTED TO BELIEVE I WAS WORTHLESS.

AND THE VOICES WOULD JUST GET LOUDER AND LOUDER.

AND LOUDER AND LOUDER.

Both: UNTIL ALL I WANTED WAS FOR THEM TO STOP!

BULLYING, TO ME, IS MORE THAN JUST PHYSICAL STRIFE.

IT'S MENTAL WARFARE.

IT CAN WREAK HAVOC ON A PERSON AND MAKE THEM QUESTION WHY THEY ARE.

THERE WAS A VOICE INSIDE OF YOU.

THAT VOICE IS HOPE.

AND THAT HOPE IS NOT WITHIN YOU.

THAT HOPE IS YOU.

[ APPLAUSE ] TO HAVE A PARENT HEAR IT FOR THE FIRST TIME, IT'S COURAGEOUS.

TO HAVE AN AUDIENCE OF STRANGERS HEAR IT FOR THE FIRST TIME, THAT'S AN IMMEASURABLE AMOUNT OF COURAGE.

AND THAT'S, HONESTLY, WHAT IT TAKES, IS AN IMMEASURABLE AMOUNT OF COURAGE.

MY FAMILY LIVED IN CUBA BEFORE COMMUNISM.

All: iVIVA FIDEL, VIVA FIDEL, VIVA FIDEL!

MY FAMILY TAUGHT ME NEVER TO RESPOND.

MY FAMILY ALSO KNEW THAT FREEDOM WASN'T COMING QUICKLY FOR CUBA.

AT THE AMERICAN EMBASSY IN CUBA, THEY HAVE THIS RAFFLE, LA RIFA.

AND IF YOUR NAME IS CHOSEN, YOU WILL WIN A VISA TO LEGALLY ENTER THE UNITED STATES.

MY MOM ENTERED EVERY YEAR, AND JUST WHEN SHE WAS ABOUT TO GIVE UP HOPE -- iYOLEXIS LA FE!

AND WE LEFT FOR AMERICA -- MY MOM, MY DAD, MY BROTHER, AND I.

BUT ON DECEMBER 18, 2005, WE ARRIVED IN MIAMI BY PLANE.

I WENT TO MY FIRST STATE FAIR -- CORN ON THE COB AND ROLLER COASTERS.

LIVING IN AMERICA WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN CUBA EVER WAS.

THE FREEDOM, THE OPPORTUNITIES.

Tu pap tuvo un accidente.

MY MOM TOLD ME THAT MY DAD HAD BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT.

I CRIED AND CRIED, BECAUSE MY DAD WAS SO CAUTIOUS.

AND WHEN THE LIGHT TURNED GREEN, HE WOULD COUNT.

All: 1, 2, 3.

BUT WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW WAS THAT HE WAS ALREADY DEAD.

AFTER THREE YEARS, MY MOM MET THIS MAN.

HE WAS "AN ANGEL SENT FROM HEAVEN."

AND WITHIN A MONTH, THEY WERE MARRIED.

BUT THIS MAN, HE CHANGED.

AND JUST AS THE ANGEL WALKED INTO OUR WORLD, HE TURNED OUR WORLD INTO A LIVING HELL.

ARGUMENTS LASTED FOR HOURS.

HE SLAPS ME RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE.

GRABBING ME BY THE HAIR AND WHISPERING IN MY EAR.

ARGUING, PUSHING, SHAKING.

PUT HIS HANDS ON MY THROAT AND STARTED STRANGLING ME.

BY THE TIME HE WAS FINISHED, I HAD BRUISES UNDER BOTH EYES, CUTS UNDER ONE, AND MY RIBS FELT LIKE IT COULD CRACK AT ANY MOMENT, AND MY BACK FELT THE SAME WAY.

AND AFTER ALL OF THAT, HE MADE ME APOLOGIZE TO HIM.

Girl: DIDN'T YOU TRY TO LEAVE?

WE DIDN'T LEAVE, WE ESCAPED.

[ BELL DINGING ] AND WE CAME TO TAMPA -- GRANTED, WITH NO HOME, BUT YET MORE OF A HOME THAN WE HAD IN A LONG TIME.

[ TRAIN HORN HONKS ] MY FAITH IN HUMANITY HAD BEEN COMPLETELY DESTROYED, AND MY HEART WAS JUST MADE OF PATCHES OF METAL.

BUT THEN THIS ONE DAY, I WAS HAVING BIBLE STUDY, AND MY SPIRITUAL LEADER APPROACHED ME.

ANA, YOU NEED TO MAKE A LIST OF EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER HURT YOU, AND THEN MAKE A FIRE.

FORGIVE EVERY PERSON ON THAT LIST, AND THEN BURN IT.

Ana: I MADE THAT LIST.

MY COUNTRY OF BIRTH, MY DAD, MY MOM, MY BROTHER, OUR CHURCH, MY STEPBROTHER, MY STEPFATHER, AND MYSELF.

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE.

FORGIVE ANYONE WHO HAS DONE YOU WRONG, NO MATTER HOW BAD.

JUST MAKE SURE YOU START WITH YOURSELF.

YOU DESERVE IT.

[ APPLAUSE ] Zane: A NEW SPIDER-MAN MOVIE CAME OUT.

IT WAS REALLY GOOD.

YOU MISSED IT.

MY DAD'S NAME WAS SODAR ROSHI.

HE WAS BORN IN BANGLADESH, AND HE STUDIED AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA.

HE ESTABLISHED A LIFE FOR HIMSELF.

HE CREATED HIMSELF.

BROOKE STOOD 4'8" HIGH, AND HER RIGHT ARM HAD NO FOREARM, SO HER ELBOW LOOKED LIKE A WRIST.

AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THE HAND BECAUSE OF HER GLOWING FACE AND INFECTIOUS SMILE.

MY PARENTS DIVORCED BEFORE I WAS ONE, AND WE DIDN'T HAVE THE TYPICAL FATHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP.

OUR RELATIONSHIP INVOLVED SITTING ON THE COUCH, WATCHING MOVIES ABOUT HEROES, LIKE "STAR WARS" OR "SPIDER-MAN."

HAVING TO WAKE UP EVERY DAY AND NOT SEE YOU SLEEPING IN YOUR BED KILLS ME.

THEY FOUND FLUID IN HIS STOMACH AND CANCER ON HIS LUNG.

STAGE 4.

THEY GAVE HIM SIX MONTHS TO LIVE, BUT HE LASTED ELEVEN.

MY 14th BIRTHDAY.

MY MOM AND STEPDAD HAD GOTTEN ME A CELL PHONE.

I WAS EXCITED, BUT I KNEW MY DAD WAS GOING TO BE UPSET, BECAUSE HE DIDN'T THINK I SHOULD HAVE ONE.

I WAS RIGHT NEXT TO HIM BEFORE HIS HEART STOPPED, AND HE LOOKED OVER AT ME WITH THIS LOOK IN HIS EYES.

HE WAS CERTAIN.

HE KNEW THAT WE WOULD BE OKAY WITHOUT HIM.

MY MOM ENDED UP GIVING HER A KIDNEY, AND I WAS TOTALLY PREPARED TO GIVE HER ONE OF MINE TOO.

ANYTHING FOR MY SISTER.

I WENT TO BED ANGRY, THINKING ONLY ABOUT THAT STUPID PHONE.

AROUND 3: 00 A.M., I HEARD SOMEONE GET UP, AND I HAD THIS WEIRD FEELING THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG.

[Crying] I COULD FEEL HER SLIPPING AWAY.

SHE PASSED AWAY ON MAY 20, 2012, AFTER A BRAIN BLEED.

I LOVE AND MISS MY LITTLE CHEESE SO MUCH.

BUT I KNOW IT WAS ALL IN GOD'S PLAN.

I MISS HER, BUT I WILL SEE HER SOON.

I WOKE UP, AND MY STEPMOM WAS RUNNING AROUND FRANTICALLY.

MY STEPSISTER AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, SO WE WENT TO INVESTIGATE.

I TOOK ONE STEP INTO THE GARAGE, AND I SAW THE SHADOW OF MY FATHER HANGING.

THAT STUPID CELL PHONE I HAD WANTED SO BADLY WAS CRUSHED IN PIECES NEAR HIS BODY.

[Crying] AND NOW EVERY TIME I LOOK AT MY CELL PHONE, I THINK, I GOT WHAT I WANT.

BUT IT CAME AT THE COST OF SOMETHING I NEED.

I WAS GIVEN THIS STORY FOR A REASON.

AND I WANT TO USE MY STORY TO SHOW OTHERS THAT, YES, BAD THINGS HAPPEN, BUT BAD THINGS DON'T DEFINE US.

AND I WILL USE MY STRENGTH TO CARRY ON.

I LOVE YOU, DAD.

I LOVE YOU, BROOKE.

I LOVE YOU, DADDY.

All: AND I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN.

WELL, I WOKE TO THE SOUND OF SILENCE AND CRIES WERE CUTTING LIKE KNIVES IN A FIST FIGHT [ APPLAUSE ] IF YOU'RE LOST AND ALONE OR YOU'RE SINKING LIKE A STONE CARRY ON MAY YOUR PATH BE THE SOUND OF YOUR FEET UPON THE GROUND CARRY ON CARRY ON, CARRY ON ANA WAS AMAZING, AND I'M SO PROUD OF HER.

I JUST THINK THAT SHARING HER STORY DOES SO MUCH TO HELP OTHERS.

'CAUSE THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT, THEY'RE AT THE END OF THEIR ROPE, AND I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE, BUT JUST SOMETHING IN ME TELLS ME THAT IT'S ALL GOING TO BE WORTH IT.

WHEN THEY COME UP TO ME AFTERWARDS, THEY PRIMARILY ARE SAYING, "I DID NOT EXPECT THIS.

I DID NOT KNOW I WAS GOING TO LOVE IT THIS MUCH."

MY NAME IS ERICA, AND I'M JAKE KINGSLEY'S MOM.

AND I THINK THAT THEY'RE ALL HEROES FOR BEING ON STAGE AND BEING SO BRAVE.

THIS IS SOMETHING THAT THE WORLD NEEDS.

WE COME ON STAGE NOT TO COMPLAIN, TO SAY, "LOOK AT ME, PITY ME."

IT'S SHOWING THE COMPLEXITY OF BEING A HUMAN, AND UNDERSTANDING THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU FIT A STEREOTYPE DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE THE STEREOTYPE.

I THINK IT WAS JUST INTERESTING TO SEE HOW THEY SHARED THE STORIES.

IT WASN'T WHINY.

IT WASN'T, "OH, WOE IS ME, LOOK AT THE LIFE I HAVE."

IT WAS, "HERE'S MY STORY.

HERE'S WHAT I DID."

AND I THINK THAT'S A REALLY GOOD WAY TO LOOK AT LIFE.

CONFIRMATION THAT I'M HELPING SOMEONE, AND AS I SAID IN MY PIECE, THAT MEANS THAT I'M NOT WORTHLESS.

IT MEANS THAT I'M NOT USELESS.

I HAVE A PURPOSE, AND I'M FULFILLING IT RIGHT NOW.

HOW DO YOU MEASURE A YEAR IN THE LIFE?

IN DAYLIGHTS, IN SUNSETS?

IN MIDNIGHTS, IN CUPS OF COFFEE?

IN INCHES, IN MILES, IN LAUGHTER, IN STRIFE?

HOW DO YOU MEASURE A YEAR IN THE LIFE?

[ PIANO PLAYING ] PRODUCED IN ASSOCIATION WITH RUTH ECKERD HALL.

VISIT RUTHECKERDHALL.COM.