Prideland

-Looky there!

-Did you get that?

I hope you got it.

One and done.

-I'm Dylln Burnside.

I'm an actor.

I'm an advocate.

I'm queer!

And I'm taking a trip into the heart of America... -We're in the Bible Belt.

We're buckled in right here.

-...to see firsthand how the United States is changing for LGBTQ people from within.

I'm meeting people who are out... -I don't like saying "straight."

So I say forward.

-People were tremendously welcoming and embracing.

-...proud... -I'm living out my truth.

I'm living my best life.

-...living their lives authentically... -We are fearlessly authentic It's just how we try to live our lives.

-I say authenticity is a super power.

...and making change.

-We want to be a city that not only tolerates, but accepts.

-This is where we come together and we say, "I found my people."

Let's go mess it up, you know, like, let's go make some noise.

-My journey begins in a place I call home -- the South.

-The South is home to more queer people than any other region in the U.S. More than one third of all LGBTQ adults live below the Mason-Dixon line.

But it's not always easy to live here and be your full self.

I am from Pensacola, Florida, the home of white sandy beaches and blue skies.

My family's been here for generations.

I grew up on a ranch just about 20 minutes away from the Alabama state line.

I get on pretty well in the city, but this... this feels like home.

My family went to church on Sundays.

Faith and religion have been such an important part of my journey.

I've always know that I am attracted to men, but it was a sin, it was an abomination.

It's something that I suppressed.

When I was 21, I was recruited by a mega church.

They were looking for a new worship pastor, and I loved my job at the church.

Somewhere along the way, I had a conversation with my pastor.

I told him that I was attracted to men.

He didn't take it so well.

I was immediately removed from my position of leadership in the church, and I was crushed.

I chose to leave.

I chose to leave my home, I chose to leave my family in order to find a new support system and a group of people who would understand and could accept and embrace all of me.

I was able to find that in New York City, where I found success on Broadway, a hit queer television series called "Pose," and as an LGBTQ advocate.

But there are people who stay in the South who are fighting every day to create spaces that are affirming, to find pockets of community in an environment that has historically rejected them.

I'm excited to meet those people who are finding ways to live freely wherever they call home.

My first stop is the state just over the border -- sweet home Alabama.

This is a state where the fight for civil rights is deeply woven into the fabric of its history and the collective memory of America.

It's where Martin Luther King served as a pastor and started his civil rights activism.

-Free at last, free at last.

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

-And where Rosa Parks got on a bus and sparked a revolution.

It's where brave marchers put their lives on the line for racial justice and equality.

But in recent years, a red hot battle over equal protections under the law has centered around LGBTQ people, resurfacing old arguments about who has the right to have equal rights.

But I'm about to meet an incredible trans woman who is putting in the work to make changes right here in Alabama.

Carmarion D. Anderson is the Alabama state director for the Human Rights Campaign, the largest LGBTQ civil rights organization in the country and the first trans woman of color to hold such a leadership position.

So talk to me a little bit about your background.

Where are you from, and what was your family life like?

-I was reared in Dallas, Texas, by way of Natchez, Mississippi.

Of course, I grew up in a family very spiritual.

I grew up in a Pentecostal church.

In a grand of church of God in Christ, and so we preach holiness or hell.

All I knew was church.

I have a heart still for spirituality because I don't debate if God made a mistake.

I don't debate if I feel like I'm trapped in the wrong body.

I mean, I believe that this is holiness because I believe that holiness brings about wholeness, and that's my life.

-Holiness is wholeness.

-Holiness, to me, is wholeness.

-Do you think people have trouble here accepting what they don't understand?

-There's a lot of hovering thoughts when it comes down to anyone who's transitioning gender-wise, anyone who is part of the LGBTQ community, and that's not often accepted here in Alabama.

I will say that does challenge me at times.

I'm not without fears.

As a woman of trans experience, you know, there's a lot of hate out there because people are not willing to be educated, but if I can change someone's mind by living out my truth, you know, that purpose has carried me a long way.

-How do you create more empathy?

-When we show up to be counted, we are demonstrating an opportunity that we can show up in a space that may not have been created for us.

It gives those outside looking in to learn from us, to hear us, to be educated by us, and I think that's one of the tools that will allow, you know, empathy to be introduced.

And it will also remove a level of sympathy to empathy, because, you know, we're not trying to -- I don't need your sympathy.

I'm living out my truth.

I'm living my best life.

-So you think there's value in staying and not leaving, like I did, to go to the big city and actually staying in the South.

And a lot of what I'm hearing you say is show up and be counted.

-Show up.

Show up.

This is where I've invested, and this is where I want to see change at.

We're part of this Southern community.

We're part of this state community.

We want those equal rights, as well.

Equality is important, and we all should feel very safe and comfortable being residents in Alabama.

-I have no doubt that Carmarion will fight every day for LGBTQ safety and equality here, but I also know she has her work cut out for her.

According to the Movement Advancement Project, an organization that tracks and scores states' LGBTQ policies, Alabama has the lowest score of any state in the country and the only score that's actually gone down over the last decade.

One of the driving factors for the decline has to do with child welfare and a religious freedom law, HB 24, that allows agencies to deny queer couples the right to adopt.

But I've been invited into the home of a lesbian couple who wouldn't let anyone or any law get in the way of starting the family they'd always dreamed of.

-Hi there!

-Hi!

-Hi!

-Oh, my... -Oh, wow.

-She could do that all day.

-I don't know if I could do that to save my life.

-I can't so that's definitely -- -[ Laughs ] -I'm not.

-Are you from here?

How long have you lived here?

-We were all born in Alabama.

-And you've been together how many years?

-21.

Is that right?

-Almost 22.

Yeah.

-So what's it been like being a lesbian couple in Alabama?

-We live actually in a very conservative city, and our little suburb is very conservative.

-We thought about leaving where it was somewhere easier.

And then we decided instead of making it easier on ourselves, why don't we try to make the change to make the place better?

And then I just felt like maybe if we stayed and worked in the community and we showed the community that we're just your average, normal family, that it might make a little bit of change.

-It would help people be more tolerant and accepting.

-Yeah.

It's not any easier on us, I wouldn't say.

But we don't hide who we are.

I mean, the community knows we're here.

We're not going anywhere, and I guess after all those years, they're like, "Okay, so let's deal with this."

-How long have you had Avery?

-Since she was 3 days old.

-3 days old.

Wow.

-Yes.

-So, tell me about the process of getting to that.

Do you just call up an adoption agency and be like, "Hey, we want to adopt," and they say, "Yes."

-We called a lot of them.

-We searched online and got turned away.

-Why?

-Because we were gay.

-Well, and we weren't married.

-Correct.

So, a lot of places would get around the, you have to be straight, by saying "Well, you have to be married."

-And at that point... -We weren't.

-We could not get married.

-...you could not be married.

-What year was this?

-We adopted Avery in 2007.

We started the process in 2005.

-And the private agency that we used, they were okay with adopting to a single parent.

But on the paperwork, I was "the roommate."

So during the -- -I'm still trying to collect rent.

-[ Laughs ] Yeah.

-I'm just kidding.

[ Laughter ] I don't even know what that rent is.

-Yeah.

It was very, I guess, a little unnerving that you're getting ready to, you know, commit your life to a child, and from the very beginning, you're not even officially considered a parent.

-Yeah.

-Knowing full well the importance a marriage certificate had on their ability to legally form their family, April and Ginger, with Avery at their side, got married in Massachusetts in 2012, where it was legal.

But like many states at the time, Alabama didn't recognize it, so they added their names in a lawsuit for marriage equality.

-There was three people who had sued the state of Alabama for marriage equality.

We were one of those couples, but they were all separate cases in different districts of Alabama.

-While their case was pending in the supreme court in Alabama, gay marriage was legalized nationwide, lifting the final hurdle for this Alabama family.

-So, everybody's going to get married.

We've already done that.

We're good there.

We went to file for... -Second parent adoption.

-...Ginger to finally get on her birth certificate.

-Rumor has it we're the first one that was ever done in the state.

-What is the first one of what?

-The first birth certificate of second parent adoption that has two mothers.

So the very first adoption that went through where it was two individuals of the same sex.

-How do you describe your family to other people if you are meeting people for the first time?

-Well, I basically just tell them, you know, this is my family, and we all have our family, and some families are always gonna be different.

Doesn't matter if you have a mom and a mom, or a dad and a dad, or a mom and a dad.

-And that's enough because, quite frankly, you don't have to explain your family to anybody, you know?

-Yeah.

Yeah.

-Avery is now a competitive gymnast and home schooled to accommodate practices.

But before this, a place she did run up against issues explaining her family was in school.

What was your experience like going to public school and having two moms?

-It was fine, but there was also moments where there was challenges.

-What kind of challenges?

-They would say things that were like super rude.

Like it's ridiculous that you have like two moms and stuff like that, and it would make me super mad.

-That must be really infuriating when your child comes home and says, "Someone's picking on me because we exist."

Like, what was that like for you?

-We've really tried to enable her, for one, to respect people and sometimes give them the benefit of the doubt.

What they don't know, they don't know.

And to try to educate.

A few times we had to reach out to the classroom teacher.

-Yeah.

-And have you experienced any kind of pushback because your family also crosses color lines?

-That was one thing I was going to mention.

As Avery probably had an equal number of issues by being biracial and having white parents than she did having gay parents.

-Yeah.

-So, it was -- -"You don't look -- "That's your mom, you don't look like her."

-But again try to teach Avery, you know, the same thing -- what they don't know, they don't know.

And try to communicate to them how they make you feel and just have a conversation.

-You all seem very level headed about it all.

Did you have to think through all of these things when you decided that you wanted to adopt?

-Yeah.

Yes.

-We were very mindful about it.

-We have a family motto that we are fearlessly authentic, and that's just how we try to live our lives.

So we don't hide it from anybody anywhere.

-Anymore.

-Anymore.

-Anymore.

-I say authenticity is a super power.

-Yeah, absolutely.

-It just opens up the world to you when you can be authentic.

I'm inspired by April and Ginger's decision to stay in their community and help shift attitudes by being out and proud as a family.

I also know no one should have to jump through so many hoops to adopt a kid who needs a home or be made to feel uncomfortable because of who they are.

So I'm heading to city hall to meet the newly elected mayor of Montgomery, who's promised to shake things up and make some change when it comes to acceptance and equality for all.

-Good afternoon, sir!

-How are you?

-I'm doing well.

How are you?

-Hey, man, I'm great.

Great.

Thanks for coming by.

-In 2019, Steven Reed was elected the first African American mayor in the city's 200-year history, riding into office on a vision for a more inclusive Montgomery.

-A new Montgomery is unfolding, a new Montgomery that includes all of our citizens, and we must be prepared to do the people's business.

[ Cheers and applause ] -You know, I want to hear more about this idea of the new Montgomery, the new South.

I'm curious about what that means to you.

-Yeah.

You know, if you take a look at, you know, just some of the stuff on the wall here.

-Oh, wow.

-You've got a sense of, you know, politically I guess people that, you know, have inspired me, as well, like my father and Dr. King.

-This is your father here?

-Yeah, that's 1967.

-And so I read somewhere that your father was arrested, is that correct?

-Yeah, yeah.

Well, he was part of a group of students from Alabama State that led the sit in movements here to desegregate lunch counters in downtown Montgomery at that time.

-And so what happened?

-He got kicked out.

He got his way back into school.

And he's kind of been an activist ever since, in civil rights as well as politics.

-Sitting at the right hand of Dr. King.

-Yeah.

-For me, it's as much about, you know, those two pictures over there, you know, commitment and courage because I think that's how we understand the foundation of where we need to go tomorrow and things we have to do to get there.

-Commitment to equal protections under the law is something Reed practiced well before coming to city hall, when he was Montgomery County's probate judge and the battle over same sex marriage was raging in Alabama.

In 2016, after marriage equality became the law of the land in the United States, Alabama's former chief justice Roy Moore decided to defy the supreme court ruling.

-I have a duty as chief justice to take affirmative and corrective action.

-Moore sent out a memo to all probate judges ordering them to stop issuing same sex marriage licenses in Alabama, and Reed said, "No way."

-Well, you know, for me, that was a real easy decision to make as a probate judge.

I was not going to obey it, and I didn't.

-When you were making the decision, were you at all hesitant or afraid of backlash?

-No.

-That's it?

[ Laughs ] -No.

That's it.

Not at all.

Not at all.

That was as easy of a decision as I could have made in anything that I've done.

-Yeah.

-I mean, that was clear cut.

If you have a young kid or you even have an older person that's dealing with their identity and a person that's sworn to take the oath and protect the constitution in the United States decides not to do it because of their misguided personal beliefs, that didn't sit well with me then, it doesn't right now.

-What do you think Montgomery wants to be right now?

-Well, I think we want to be a city that is one of inclusion, I think one of diversity, and one that not only tolerates, but accepts, and there's a difference between tolerance and acceptance.

We can't be in a place that champions civil rights.

We can't be in a place that champions freedom and justice for everyone and not practice that based on whatever way I grew up or whatever way that I choose to worship or just whatever I may just think independent of all of that.

And I think that's probably my one take away from people in generations past to sacrificed so much so that I didn't have to.

You know, there were many smarter men and women who should have been the mayor of Montgomery, Alabama, in its first 200 years, but weren't because of their color or because of their gender.

For me, the takeaway is they never stopped.

That's why I have those pictures on my wall.

That's why I continue to believe in the best that not only Montgomery and Alabama has, but also the nation because the power is really in the people.

It's really in our own individual will to want to continue that progress.

-Next stop -- Mississippi, a state that many refer to as the buckle of the Bible Belt.

The South in general is by far the most religious region in the country.

An overwhelming 90% of Southerners believe in God.

And over 80% say that religion is an important part of their daily lives.

In Mississippi, most people tell you, "There's a church on every corner, and faith and family are everything."

Which can be challenging for LGBTQ people and their loved ones, as they're often ostracized or flat out rejected by their places of worship.

And that's why my first stop on this chilly morning is Brandon, Mississippi, the home of a Southern Baptist mother who was forced to reconsider what was preached from the pulpit because of what she learned about her own family.

[ Doorbell rings ] -Hi!

-Hi!

How are you?

I'm Dylln.

-It is so good to meet you.

-It is so good to meet you.

-Here you go, friend.

This is a great day for some hot cider.

I'll tell you.

-Yes, ma'am, it is.

-We don't get this kind of cold down in the South very often.

-So are you from Mississippi?

-Born and raised, uh-huh.

-If you were, like, to think of a way that you would characterize Mississippi, what's Mississippi like?

-Mississippi is a great place.

I think our name is "The Hospitality State," and we are.

We love our people.

We love our churches.

-We're in the Bible Belt.

We're buckled in right here.

I mean, this is it.

I mean, you can't get any closer to the reality of conservative family values -- "family values" -- than central Mississippi.

-In Mississippi, but in general, why do you think people have a need to go to church?

Why do you have a need to be a part of a church?

-I can speak for myself on that only.

It is that, um... Don't tell anybody, but I got mad with God a while back.

-Mm-hmm.

-And I thought, "That's it.

That's it, I'm not going back."

But I can't not go back.

I had to go.

It's in me.

-What's pulling you?

-Worship.

The spirit that's in me has to worship.

-I'm curious to know about you saying that you were angry with God and you felt like you couldn't go back to the church.

What was that about?

-You're going to make me talk about this, aren't you?

-I am, I am.

Well, because I -- because I, too, have been angry with God.

Getting back to my sort of spiritual center.

-Well, I'll give you a little bit of my story, which is a hard thing for me because girls raised in the South can talk a lot.

-That's all right.

-And I can talk a lot.

I can talk all day.

-I love Southern women.

-I have plenty of hot tea, so we can talk about this.

I grew up in the church.

I grew up in a Baptist church about 30 miles south of Jackson.

And I was in church all of my days.

Met a good Southern Baptist man, and we began our family.

We had sons, beautiful healthy children, and I'm teaching Bible study, I'm teaching Sunday school.

Just had that blessed life of healthy children, healthy environment.

And they grew up.

-Mary Jane's oldest son Brian was already off to college and about to graduate when Mary Jane suggested a trip to the beach to celebrate, just mom and her boys.

-We went down to the beach.

Unbeknownst to me, Brian had made up in his mind that he had something to tell me.

And he said, "Mama --" he said, "A lot of the things I did growing up I did for you and Dad."

Dylln, something in me knew what he was going to say.

I don't know why.

And you know what I said?

I said, "Date that sweet girl you had?"

And he said, "Yes, ma'am."

He said, "I did that for you and Dad."

And I said, "Brian, are you trying to tell me you're gay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

There was nothing that had prepared me for this in my life.

-And how were you feeling?

Can you remember what you were feeling?

-No, because my head was laying on the car seat beside me, honey.

No, my head had fallen off by this time.

-[ Laughs ] -We discussed things all the way to the beach, and we got there.

Several hours into it, we're sitting there and talking to each other, and I looked at Brian, and I remembered my beautiful 19-year-old who had never asked a girl out as far as I knew in my life.

I looked at him and I said, "What about Trent?"

[ Laughs ] And he said, "Mama, that's for him to talk to you about."

And as if some magical clock ticked, in walks my Trent from being out with his friends.

And I looked at him, and I said, "Trent, are you gay?"

And he said, "Mama, I've never wanted a girl.

Not like that."

I got up -- I wish I had done better.

I just got up, I walked out on the balcony of that hotel, and I said, "To jump or not to jump."

Next thing I knew, those big old arms, two sets.

Those boys came, put their arms around me, brought me back in there.

They'd brought all kinds of Christian literature because they knew what was about to happen.

If you're going to get to mama, you're going to go -- -Go to Jesus.

-You got to go to Jesus to get to mama.

That's the only way that's going to work.

So they prayed for me.

But let me tell you something.

The worst wasn't yet to happen.

I had to go home and talk to daddy.

So he gets in there, tired from work, and I look at him.

I said, "Brian and Trent came out to me while we were gone that they're gay."

I've never loved him any more than I did in that moment.

He sat there, tears rolled down his cheeks.

He looked at me, and he said, "They're my boys, and I love them."

[ Laughs ] "They're my boys.

They're my boys, and I love them.

That's all I have to say about that.

Nothing will ever change that.

Nothing they say, nothing they do will ever change that.

These are my boys."

-Yeah.

-And it didn't.

-Mary Jane then turned to the only other place she called home -- her church.

-I went straight the next day to my pastor and talked to him.

And I confided to him.

I said, "Two of my sons came out to me that they're gay."

-So what did your pastor say?

-My pastor told me to go to the closet, basically.

If I'm going to be an effective Bible teacher, they don't need to know that you've got gay children.

If they know that you have gay children, your ministry may not be very good.

-For the next 14 years, Mary Jane followed her pastor's advice and stayed in her virtual closet when it came to her church community until it was too much.

-No one should live in the closet, Dylln.

You know that.

You can't survive in there.

It's just not part of a real life.

I was getting to that point that I felt like I was lying to people.

You know, they'd say these things to me about, "Let's boycott this, and let's boycott that," and I'm thinking, "Oh, my heavens, this is so far from what Jesus would do."

-Mary Jane was ready to tell her story, and the Human Rights Campaign came knocking at just the right time.

-They were doing Project One America, which is in the South.

They were trying to move the needle, move the heart of people in the deep South, which is the Bible Belt.

They wanted to make a video.

You talk about coming out, this is coming out.

It was one of those moments where I thought, "God's going to kill me if I don't do this.

This is why I was born."

So, I said, "Okay, I'll do it.

I have to do it."

One of the main things that I want to happen is to open the arms of Jesus Christ to people who have been pressed out of the church.

It was just this crazy thing.

So, mail started coming in.

I mean hateful, hurtful things, I keep it.

I try not to -- -You keep it?

-Oh, yeah, I kept a lot of the things that was in the newspaper.

Southern Baptist Press was pretty tough.

-What did they say about you?

-I had mail that said like, "You're going to hell, and you're taking your children with you."

People found my name on Messenger.

I had one that suggested, "Are you the one we need to come neuter?"

I wanted to say, "Honey, it's way too late for that."

But, you know, I mean, these are things that -- just ugly, ugly things.

Just, you know, you're not a Christian.

You're certainly not Southern Baptist.

It was the best and worst thing that happened to me.

But the best thing is that this did for me and my life, Dylln, was I suddenly realized what it feels like to be the underdog, to be rejected, to have people hostile to you.

I finally realized what it feels like growing up gay in the beautiful, deep South and maybe other places, too.

But that's something that let me see, is how heartbreaking and how difficult it is to try to grow up when everyone around you is going one way and thinking one way.

I wrote Brian a letter and said, "I'm so proud of y'all.

Y'all are tough.

You're tough.

You're made out of good stuff.

Because now your mama knows what it feels like to have people say such hateful things to you."

Everybody needs to walk down that road every once in a while, don't you think?

-Absolutely.

I'm inspired by your courage and your strength to step out and be honest and be seen and be visible in a space where people don't want you to be, they don't want you to be honest.

There's healing in telling your truth.

-Yes.

Yes, there is.

-There's healing in being honest and open and visible.

-It cleanses you.

As different as my life has been in the last five years since the coming out on the commercial with HRC, I feel like I'm honest.

I'm living my life the way life has been given to me, and there's nothing wrong with that.

-Yeah.

Thank you.

-You gonna move in?

[ Both laugh ] -Listen, you've got another gay son.

-Oh, honey, there's nothing wrong with that at all.

Not a thing wrong with that.

And another cute one, too, is what I'm saying!

-Hearing Mary Jane's story was such a powerful reminder to me of just how impactful messages of acceptance or rejection can be when they come from places of worship.

And that's exactly why a church in Jackson, Fondren Presbyterian, has made it it's mission to open its doors to any and all, including LGBTQ people.

It's led by openly gay pastor Rob Lowry, who's invited me in to worship and find out more about how this particular congregation welcomed him in with open arms.

[ Organ playing, congregation singing ] - Great is thy faithfulness -How long have you been a minister in the church?

-I'm going into my 20th year of ministry.

-And so, you're openly gay?

-Yes.

-What's your journey been like as an openly gay minister?

Have you always been out in the church?

-I have not.

I came out almost 11 years ago, and that was the end of a really long personal journey.

When I went to seminary, the church at the time had a ban on gay clergy.

You could not be ordained if you were openly gay in the Presbyterian Church at that point.

I got ordained.

Being out wasn't an option.

It was just what it was.

It was just my reality.

See, what the community learned when Jesus healed that man in the cemetery, the world has to change with the gospel.

Because one day in the middle of the day, it just dawned on me that the only way for me to truly be the person I feel called to be in the church was to be the person I truly feel called to be entirely.

Being openly gay and being out in the world, that's the only way for me to wake up in the morning and start telling the truth every day.

-I, too, never thought that being out was an option.

Just thinking that I'd be able to pray it away.

-You're not on this earth to pray away the gay any more than you are to pray away the straight or anything else.

It's about being honest about who you are and owning that and valuing that.

Jesus reaches into the world and brings compassion and love and healing and wholeness where there was none.

-So, when you decided to come out, what kind of responses did you get from the church?

-The only pushback I found were people who didn't know me, people who just heard about this pastor who was gay, and that painted a target on me for them.

It was sort of a 99 to 1 ratio of people who were tremendously welcoming and embracing.

Friends, my family, my colleagues, all, I mean, without exception, were wonderfully welcoming to me.

-That's incredible.

You realize that's like not the experience of most people.

-[ Laughs ] I realize exactly how lucky I am.

I really do.

The world has learned.

The world has grown.

We are growing into a new people, a new community.

-It is amazing to me that there is an openly gay pastor in Jackson, Mississippi, that is fully embraced by his congregation and his community.

But like I said, most queer people aren't that lucky and their reality is starkly different.

There are so many people that don't have the privilege of being near or having access to an affirming church or coming from families who embrace their LGBTQ kids, like Mary Jane.

Nationwide, 40% of homeless youth identify as LGBTQ.

But here in Mississippi, there's a whole network of people called "rainbow families," made up of queer adults and older teens who've been rejected from their biological families or their communities.

And I've been invited into the home of one of them.

They call themselves "The House of Montage," a family stitched together not by blood but by love.

-Hi.

How are you?

-I'm Dylln!

-Malita.

Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you, Malita.

-Hi, everybody!

I'm Dylln!

-Hi.

I'm Shaquinta.

Are you a hugger?

-I'm a hugger.

I'm from the South.

Rainbow families, like the House of Montage, structure themselves like any traditional family.

There's the mother, father, and the kids, who relate to each other like sisters and and brothers.

So how is everybody in here related?

How did this family come to be?

-In 2004, we decided we would start the House of Montage.

Started out with about three, four kids?

-Three or four.

-And then, in due time, we probably ended up with about 40 at one point.

[ Laughter ] Some have come and some have gone, but it was just a need.

There was so many people out here that needed that guidance.

Just a need, just having somewhere to go that you know you felt safe.

-The idea of a chosen family who form a house is something I've recently learned a lot about.

I played a character on a show called "Pose" that grows up in a house that's very similar, where, you know, Ricky is living on the streets.

Interestingly, y'all met in a house.

My character meets this person who, they fall in love, and then he brings him into a house.

Pose portrays a long tradition within queer culture that continues today, where mostly black and Latinx young people who've been ostracized from their own homes join a house and compete in balls or runway competitions, house against house, for trophies and serious bragging rights.

While the scene is a little different down here, what is the same is the house they are in becomes their family in every sense of the word.

And is so your house, you called it a lesbian house.

Is it exclusively lesbian?

-No.

-We're open to anybody.

Like, one thing about us is that if you need us, we're there.

We catch a lot of them because most of them will come around with one of our other kids and never leave.

[ Laughter ] We had one that came and ate Thanksgiving dinner and was like a stray cat, like still here.

-Kept coming back.

-And still here.

Still here.

-We just open our doors, like, to whomever.

-So you've literally saved people's lives.

-Yes.

-She saved your life.

Tell me about it.

-My mom definitely didn't accept it.

-Didn't accept what?

-My lifestyle or the gay lifestyle period.

So that's something we're actually still battling with today.

In college, that's where I came across Malita and Dana, and they took me in at a time where I really didn't have any family, you know what I'm saying, 'cause I really didn't have any support from mom or anybody else.

And they just always provided a house if I needed it, a bed if I needed it, a meal if I needed it.

And I always treated them as parental figures, you know what I'm saying?

So if it wasn't for them, I don't know where I'd be.

-What does family mean to all of you?

-Having the courage to be able to step out and say, "Hey, I love you.

Do you love me?"

-Having someone to be honest with you, to be truthful with you, not just telling you what they think you want to hear.

-Family, to me, is being bonded so close that we can't rise or fall without each other.

-Let's eat!

-Hey!

[ All shouting ] -I just want to know -- so when I come to Mississippi, can I be a part of the House of Montage?

-Sure can!

-Yeah!

-I haven't turned one down yet!

[ Laughter ] -Put your "M" up!

Put your "M" up!

-Hey!

-Hey!

-Hey!

-After sharing a meal with the amazing House of Montage last night, it got me thinking a lot about this journey so far and about who has privilege and who doesn't.

When I look at the House of Montage, I see hope, I see the beauty of community and shared identity.

But I also think about all of the homeless LGBTQ youth in this country and how so many of them are people of color.

They're the reason that these houses are needed.

I think that all of the issues that one may face as a black person in this country, as an immigrant in this country, they're only compounded by being queer.

There's still a very stark line that is being drawn along the racial divide.

I've got a long drive ahead to think about all this because my next and final stop is Texas.

Yet another state with a storied past of division around race, immigration, and belonging.

But when I picture the Lone Star State in my mind, I think of wide open prairies, cattle ranching, and something I've always wanted to see up close -- longhorns!

-Welcome to Texas, the Lone Star State, and they do have longhorns!

Let's see if I can get them to come over.

[ Mooing ] I guess they're not like dogs.

Alright, I'm not here to make friends with the cattle.

I'm here to find out how LGBTQ people are doing here.

So I'm heading to a ranch to meet cowgirls, rodeo champs, and out lesbians Candy and her wife Doreen, who want to share what life is like for them and maybe help me get back on a horse.

-You Candy?

-Yeah, I am.

-I'm Dylln.

-How are you?

-I'm doing well.

Nice to meet you.

I give hugs.

-Okay.

Well, I'll take a hug.

We do that in Texas, too.

-Hey, how is it going?

-Hello.

-My wife Doreen.

-How are you doing?

-Very well.

How are you?

-I'm doing well.

-Welcome.

-Thank you.

Thank you for having me.

-What a beautiful smile.

-Aw, thank you.

What a beautiful piece of land you have here and these horses.

-Thank you, thank you.

So we ride competitively.

We ride the horses almost every day of the week.

And then we have competitions all over during the weekends and stuff.

-Sweet.

I'd love to help you get some of these horses ridden.

-Okay.

-How long have you been riding?

-Since I was in third grade.

-Oh, wow.

-And I'm 58.

So close to 50 years, I guess.

-Candy Pratt is a world champion in horse competition and the president of the International Gay Rodeo Association, the largest group that coordinates LGBTQ affirming rodeo events around the United States and Canada.

[ Horses neighing ] -This one is Shine.

That's a horse that I compete on a lot.

-Look at this Palomino.

-Yeah.

This is my rope horse Carter.

-Hey, Carter.

-Yeah.

You want to ride a little bit now?

-Yes let's do it.

-Okay.

-When it's rodeo season in Texas, Candy and her wife, Doreen, compete every chance they get.

As for me, while I grew up riding, it's been a second since I've been on a horse, but I'm pretty sure I'm in good hands.

These jeans are tight.

-I know.

Uh-huh.

-So, I hear there are lots of steers and queers in Texas.

-[ Laughs ] Exactly.

Well, there's your steers right there.

-So, tell me about the gay rodeo.

Like, how gay is it exactly?

-It used to be, the reason it was gay rodeo is that you need to have a place to, you know, be yourself and everything, but today, that doesn't happen anymore.

-The rodeo in general has become more welcoming or progressive or inviting of queer folks?

-Absolutely.

-Yeah?

-Pro rodeo, there's still a little bit of a stigma, but the horse industry itself and the horse shows and barrel races, some of your top trainers are gay men.

So that's really drastically changed, and I would tell you that, you know, rodeo itself has gotten way better, but you still, you know, you still have the same closed minded people in every sport, so... [ Crowd cheering ] Ready to learn about the rope?

-I'm ready.

-When you go up and over, up and over, up and over, and whenever you deliver, it's like throwing a rock.

Hold that one.

Those hold there.

Almost.

Flat down.

Do it with your hand.

Close your hand.

Palm down.

There you go.

You're almost there.

Looky there!

Go.

-Looky there!

Whoo!

-[ Laughs ] Did you get that?

I hope you got it.

One and done!

So you've been on this land for how long?

-Since 1990.

And when I first came here, I certainly wasn't out to my neighbors and everything, but whenever I did come out, there was no difference.

Everybody down through here was ropers.

It was a bunch of boys, and all the boys are still really close to me because I helped raised them, and it made no difference whether I was straight or gay to them.

And so what's funny is that I found that the older I've gotten, the less I care about who knows.

I choose to be around places where I am accepted, and you don't see it the way you used to, Dylln.

People, you know, would shut doors and, you know, just treated you bad and everything, and I don't find that at all.

I mean, I haven't experienced it myself in several years.

The world's evolved.

It's so much better.

I would have never thought that Doreen and I could marry, you know, especially in Texas.

-So, how'd you two meet?

-I saw her at a gay rodeo.

-And how many years has it been?

-It'll be 27 in July.

-So, the gay rodeo has like truly enriched your lives?

-Oh, absolutely.

I'm thankful every day for her.

She is my life, so... -So these spaces are so important to, like, help us find each other and find that community where so many of us didn't have it.

I left Pensacola, Florida, about eight years ago.

And I sort of had to go off and sort of find myself again, and I did that in New York and in spaces where I felt safe, like the IGRA.

But like you, I'm such an outdoors person.

I miss the open air.

I miss the smell of the barn and the hay and the pasture, and I haven't been sure that I could actually live in the South again just because I don't know if I'm able to find acceptance, openness.

But this journey is opening my eyes to a lot, that across America, no matter where you go, there are pockets where you can find community, where you can find hope.

As hopeful as I feel and as much as I would love to stay on that ranch with Candy and Doreen and ride those beautiful horses, it's time for me to head towards Dallas, one of the most accepting places in the state for LGBTQ people.

And just outside Dallas' downtown, in Oak Cliff, lives one of five, that's right, five openly queer Texas state house legislators.

Jessica Gonzalez, proud Mexican-American who promised to show me around this place she's always called home and most definitely where her heart is.

-Hi.

How are you?

-Good.

-I'm Dylln.

I'm a hugger.

-Me too.

-Nice to meet you, Jessica.

-Good to meet you.

-Thank you for taking the time out to show me your neighborhood.

-Oh, of course.

-I'll go wherever you tell me to go, Jessica.

-Just go forward.

-Forward.

Let's just go forward.

-I don't like saying "straight."

So I say forward.

-So tell me what it is that you love about Texas and Dallas in general.

-Well, I mean, I was born and raised here, and I see Dallas and even like Oak Cliff as being just a big melting pot.

You know, it's very diverse, you know, you have a mix of people.

In Oak Cliff, it's predominantly Latino, at least in my district.

And there's just lots of culture here.

There's a very big arts community here, as well.

-When it comes to celebrating art and culture in her district, Jessica said I got to visit Mercado369, a richly diverse arts collection and community space focusing on Latinx culture, owned and operated by openly gay Latino advocate Jorge Baldor.

-Thank you for visiting us.

-Hi.

How are you?

-Yes.

-Great.

What is this place?

-It's a community space that we use for exhibiting art and artisan goods from Mexico to Argentina.

Really basically representing all of Latin America.

We have space here that we use for the community to do events that brings in the different types of backgrounds that we have within our communities, but I'd love to invite you to come and join our cafe.

You can enjoy the rest of your afternoon.

-This is really amazing, like, such a great space to kind of really connect with your culture.

Being in your old neighborhood, like, it seems like where you come from, your heritage is really important to who you are, just in every sense.

-My Mexican culture is very important to me.

Spanish was my first language.

I identify as being Mexican-American.

You know, I feel that strong tie to the Mexican culture, and so, you know, and my parents always raised me to not forget where I came from.

-How important was it for you to be open about your sexuality as a state representative?

-I mean, I think it's important for LGBTQ folks to run for office even if they don't win.

Our identity doesn't define us, and so I think demystifying the fact that yes, I identify as being gay, but that's not all of who I am.

Like, I'm here to work on issues.

I want to, you know, work on issues that are going to impact my district just like you do, you know, whether you're straight or not or whether you're Republican or you're not.

-There are five queer women who are state representatives in Texas.

-What do you think the short term and long-term implications are of having this caucus, having that type of representation?

-When we got elected and we had this Caucus and how -- the impact that that had on our community, on parents that have gay children, you know?

And my office kind of coordinated through the caucus a day that we had bunch of young transgender kids from across the state, and we ended up getting about 10, and it was just -- it was incredible.

The fact that we have this caucus and that, "Hey, this is your house, and you're always going to be welcome here," I think that has a big impact on our kids, and so we need to be there.

-And I wonder, did you come up against any discrimination when you were running?

Was that used against you by your opponents?

-No, it didn't.

I mean, it didn't come up at all.

I don't think they really care that, you know, what I identify as or who I date or who I'm with.

And so I think that's also very telling, you know, of how we're shifting, you know, I think as a community and then people being more accepting of who we are and that it's not so out of this world that we elect, you know, an LGBTQ person to serve in, you know, in the capitol.

-In any role.

We can be and do anything.

-Mm-hmm.

-Yeah.

That's awesome.

-Yeah.

-I know there are so many amazing LGBTQ people, not just in Texas, but all across this country, making the kind of change Jessica is talking about possible.

And in my final stop, I'm about to find out where so many of them fuel up -- the Creating Change Conference in downtown Dallas, run by the National LGBTQ Task Force.

This conference attracts one of the most diverse crowds of attendees in the country, all of whom are working to make life better for queer people.

And there's no one better to show me around than deputy executive director and all around leader Kierra Johnson.

-Thanks so much for being here.

-Thanks for having me.

This is incredible -It is.

This is the family reunion.

-I see.

-This is where we bring the people, so you in the right space.

-We've taken over the whole hotel.

-You know we've been on the Dallas News.

-[ Laughs ] -We didn't take over the hotel.

We took over Dallas.

-That's amazing.

-Yes, absolutely.

Well, I want to take you through so you can check out, like, who's here hanging out with us.

-Okay.

-A part of the family, and maybe get you some Task Force swag.

-Let's do it.

-Let's do it!

-Creating Change 2020!

-Yes.

-Do it one more time.

I'm about to do this.

I have never been in a space filled up with so many diverse queer folks fired up to make change.

As an equal rights advocate myself, I feel like I'm in the right place.

-Oh, my gosh.

-What is the mission or overall goal?

What do you hope to accomplish with the conference?

-The conference for us is an opportunity, one, to celebrate and affirm each other.

And we look at each other, and we say, "I see you."

-Yeah.

-"And you matter.

And you're beautiful, and you're brilliant, and you're impactful," right?

-Are there a lot of folks here from the South?

-People, you know, assume I think sometimes that most of the people here are from San Francisco or Chicago or New York, but our family is hungry to be around other LGBTQ people who are in the Bible Belt and are in the Rust Belt.

So we have so we have really, like, big populations of people who are coming from North Carolina, from Georgia, from Louisiana, from Texas, and this is where they get rejuvenated.

-Sure.

-You know?

It's like this is where we come together and we say, "I'm not alone, and I found my people and let's go mess it up," you know?

Like, "Let's go make some noise."

-The energy at this conference makes me know that I'm not alone.

And yes, I want to go out and make some noise.

Or at least take them up on the invitation to tonight's Agents of Change Ball and show off some dance moves.

-We've got somebody in the house tonight to get all the reviews.

Ladies and gentlemen, my future husband, Dylln Burnside!

This is Ricky!

[ Cheers and applause ] -Wow!

This is truly incredible, all of the work that y'all are doing on the ground.

So give a round of applause for yourselves.

Have fantastic time tonight and an incredible weekend.

I love y'all.

[ Cheers and applause ] -Give him a round of applause.

Make sure y'all watch season 3.

-Oh, my God, that was incredible.

The energy in this room is so full of love.

And it's just such a blessing to be able to come here, be a part of Creating Change, and see all of these beautiful faces.

To see people on the ground doing this work, all of the people I've met along the way throughout this entire journey, it's left me feeling inspired, it's given me hope for what's happening in the South and across this nation.

And I have so much faith that equal rights and acceptance for LGBTQ people is ultimately unstoppable.