Pacific Heartbeat

-Today, I'm going to be talking about something really important. I am transgender. -I realize that this is really who I am, and now, we are like a family. -Tonight is the premiere for my film, "Black Dog," and I am so excited. Everyone I know is here. -Oh! Look who it is! -Whoo! -Whoo!

Cheers and applause

-When I was little, I really wanted to be involved with the film industry, but every time I thought of a director, I thought of Peter Jackson, and I thought, "Oh, my God. I don't want to, like, spend all my life just covered in this big beard and quite"... You know? Like, this manliness, because every time I thought of a director, I thought of a man. I just want to be myself, you know? -I can't explain what's wrong with me, but I can show you. -Got to be here somewhere. -When I was about 7, I wrote a story about Charlie the dog. It was like a booklet, and I did, like, a couple of versions of the cover. -I remember it, actually. The dog actually thought it was a cat and was surprised when other people said, "You're not a cat. You're a dog." -Yeah. It was just trying to find its place, I guess. Found it. -Yay! Awesome! Once upon a time, there was a very unusual-looking dog, which kind of looked like a cat. Most likely, you would think people would tease him. If you think you're wrong, you're not, and being quite right, they teased him a lot, and his name was Charlie. -Aww. Even though I didn't really understand what I was writing about at the time, I kind of look back at it and realize that Charlie the Dog who looked like a cat was actually me. I remember from a very, very young age, I always felt like I was not in the right body. I had conscious thoughts. For the past 4 years, I've been making videos about my life and documenting my transition and putting them up on YouTube. Hi, guys! CJ here. Today, I'm going to be talking about something really important, and it means a lot to me. Let's just say it's, like, a pretty big thing, and obviously, you can see by the title of this video that I am transgender. When I was younger, I used to look in the mirror a lot. I would look for so long and just hate everything I saw looking back at me and just thought, "Out of the 7 billion people in the world, why me?" Why was I the only one born like this, born in the wrong body? -What makes people transgender? I don't think that we know any more than we know why I was born left-handed and why my sister was born right-handed. I think what we do appreciate now, though, is that your gender identity seems to be decided before you're born so that your journey in life is fundamentally decided before birth. Gender identity seems to be something that's a biological thing, so perhaps it's affected by genetics or hormones rather than something that happens after we're born, and so we don't think that parenting styles or society pressure is determining what your gender identity is. -I've always thought I was a girl, but people around me always tried to tell me I was a boy, and even my body tried to tell me, and what was on the outside never reflected what I felt on the inside. -Now, what's his name, Caroline? -What's his name, Caroline? -Te Awarangi. -Te Awarangi. -Who's his father? -Just say the father on your right. -My full name is Te Awarangi, but when I was little, a lot of people could not say, "Te Awarangi." - Happy birthday to Te Awarangi -So they called me CJ, which was a mix between Clive Jr. and Caroline Jone -- both of my parents. When I started actually transitioning, my parents decided to actually call me Awa because it sounded a little bit more feminine. When did you guys realize that I wasn't, like, happy in my own skin? -Well, I guess I knew from when you were really, really little, and you used to say to me, "Mummy, I've got a girl's heart but a boy's body." -I remember saying that. -You were only about 3 or 4, powerful voice, you know? -What about you, Dad? -I think I was in denial, unconsciously in denial. Often, we would go to the Corps Hangar, and often, we'd see you wearing a dress, and they would say, "Oh, was playtime today?" and there was a bit more acceptance from me because there were other young boys that were also in dresses. "Oh, yeah. Maybe it's just all fun and games." I thought it was a phase. -Coming out wasn't really my choice. A friend hacked into my Facebook page, and pretending to be me, wrote a status saying, "I'm transgender." I didn't know about it. People kept on coming up to me saying, "Congratulations." -Hey, there! So proud of you! -I was thinking, "For what?" I wasn't ready to come out, and someone had taken that away from me. Mum said that a switch just flipped, and she was thinking, "This is either going to make you or break you." At least I didn't have to hide anymore.

Rain pattering, pots clinking

-Awa? Awa! Up there sleeping? -Yeah. -Wherever we went, people always thought that Awa was our daughter. -Awa? -Have you seen my skirt? -What's that? After a while, I just said, "Oh, yeah, yeah." I didn't correct them, but you always used to correct them. -I remember the day I had to try on and buy a school uniform just before year 9 started, and obviously, I had to get a boy's school uniform. Me and dad, we walked into the uniform shop at school. We walked up to the counter, and the lady said, "All righty. Um, what size skirt do you reckon you'll be, hon?" And my dad was like, "He's a boy." -So you guys going to be late for school again today? I thought, "That was it. We're supporting you." I wasn't prepared for the other things in our lives that also had to transition. My acceptance had to include that you wanted to wear a dress to the school. Hurry up, Awa. -Yes. -In year 10, after wearing a boy's uniform, I asked if I could wear a girl's uniform. -See you. -Love you. -Love you, too. -Coming to school like a girl, and that was one of the most scariest moments of my life. -It wasn't a formal process. It was just kind of, in the end, was a natural process. Mum, Caroline, as a teacher of the school, and I remember Awa as a little boy coming along with mum. I guess it was a point of everybody knows anybody would. What difference does it make? -It was really nerve-racking. I was scared what people were going to think, and I walked in, but I felt so myself. I felt finally just me, and my friends were so good about it. Everyone in school, I was so scared I was going to be bullied, but they were actually really good. They were like, "How are you doing, you know? You're doing okay, right?" Lately, there's been a lot of talk about who goes in which toilet, et cetera, et cetera. -When Awa was first transitioning, I guess my response to that was, "I understand the issues, and I'm not sure how people would react if you were using the girls' toilets instead of the boys' toilets, so at the moment, a simple solution to it is to give you a key for the staff toilets." -Recently, I've just been going in the girls' toilets because... what's really wrong with that? -The way that Awa started using the girls' facilities was really quite interesting because it was the girls who invited Awa in. It all sort of disappeared as an issue nicely without it being an issue. -

Sighs

So I want the gender-reassignment surgery because it's literally what will just make me be me, and it's not just about, like, the way I look. It's deeper than that. It's a difference between actually wanting to be here or not. Do I want to live my life authentic, or do I just want to be trapped in a body all my life that I absolutely despise? I'm on a journey to just becoming just my idea of a woman. The treatment I'm on is pretty easy to explain. I take a pill a day to keep me looking like a girl. -How are you? -I'm good, thanks. -Okay. Take up your position. You know what to do, eh? -And I take one injection like every three months to stop me from looking like a guy. See you in three months.

Laughs

For a long time, I was researching hormones and how they work, and I really wanted to get them as soon as possible because I didn't want to go through puberty. When I was 14, I went to the doctor. I was scared, but I was also desperate, so I made an appointment without my parents. -I could see the next patient on my screen was Awa. I've known Awa since she was born. I opened the door, and here was this stunning sort of 14-year-old girl, and I really had to think, "Goodness, is this Awa?" -Sitting in her office, I actually felt like I was going to throw up, but I know it's what I had to do if I wanted to actually be who I wanted to be. -I thought, "Ah," because I had been expecting that something would happen at some time because she wasn't the routine, average, run-of-the-mill small boy that comes to see me. -I don't know what I would've done if I had gone to a doctor that was completely against that because, you know, I'd be doomed, probably. But it turns out you can't get medication that young without telling your parents, so I had to talk to my parents about it first. I remember I told you that I wanted to, like, go on blockers and hormone. -Her mum came and saw me and said, "Awa has self-referred to the doctor, and Dr. Ruth Brown would like to talk to us both about you." Your mum said to me, "There's some thing you need to be aware of about Te Awarangi." I said, "Well, just tell me," and she said, "Te Awarangi doesn't feel right in his body and wants to become a girl," and I thought for a second, and I thought, "Well, how do I feel about that?" There was one side of me that was saying, "Yes, it's happening. You should support it regardless," and there was another part of me saying, "Well, isn't it just a phase?" I wanted to try and convince you that once this happens, there's no turning back. -Before I started taking medication, I had to talk to a counselor, a child psychologist, and an endocrinologist. I hated feeling like I had to prove that I wasn't insane. I have known for so long who I was, and now I had to kind of convince the whole world. -I remember walking into the nurse's room and seeing Awa for the first time, and I saw this really uncomfortable, sort of awkward boy. I at first assumed that I maybe had a young gay man that wanted some support. I think it was a really difficult place for her when she started the sessions. She didn't really see much hope. She didn't really know. We had to go from the ether. The pathway wasn't clearly -- There was no pathway, really. -I was kind of in denial, and I knew that other people wouldn't accept what I wanted, so why would I accept myself? I truly felt like I was just a... perversion of nature. -She was really nervous about what was emerging, which was the sense that she really wanted to love her authentic self. -He just reassured me that everything would be okay, and everything I'm feeling in that moment isn't permanent. He, like, really helped me. -You transformed from a really gangly, awkward, unhappy boy

chuckles

to a really, really self-assured confident girl. -Never thought of myself as a boy. -No, no. -All my brothers live in Okato, which is a little town outside of New Plymouth. They're all a bit older than me with a different dad. -Hello! -Mummy! Mummy! -But we grew up together, and they were always surfing and skateboarding, fighting. They were just real boys, I guess, and they always used to tease me for being a girlie little long-haired thing because they kind of wanted me to be a macho man like them.

Laughter

My brothers are, like, so shy, so at first, they didn't really want to be in this documentary, but we're going up there because we've never really talked about what happened when I was growing up. -Many times at the dinner table, we had a discussion that Awa acted like a girl, looked like a girl, had long hair, and that went on for quite a long time, and I would always go, "Shush! Shush! Shush!" I guess it was the time that we realized that it was getting to Awa. I remember saying, "Why would anyone choose this?" You know, "Why would you ever think that this would be anyone's choice to be different? You were just born this way, and why would we ever want to change Awa from the way she was?" She had so many wonderful personality traits as loving and kind and clever and all that kind of stuff, and actually, out there in the world, it was probably going to be tough. We knew it probably would be tough, so therefore, if it was tough out in the world and also tough when you'd come home, where's your sanctuary? Where's your peace, and where's your acceptance? I think even at times, Awa's admitted that without family support, she does not know how people get through the same thing that she's gone through. -I think a bulk of that credit should go to you, Mum. We all grew up, as well, once we started having a good think about it. We were like, "Hang on a second. This isn't really our choice at all, right?" -Yeah. Most important thing is that Awa is happy. -We always knew that Awa was different, but our biggest concern as brothers was just the bullying at school, seeing how cruel kids could be, more of a protective-brother thing. -Mm. From a certain point, you kind of stopped saying, like, things like, "Cut your hair. Why is your hair so long? Stop listening to that music. What the hell is this movie?" -"Why are you talking like a girl?" -"Why are you talking like a baby?" -"What is with your voice?" -I'm embarrassed of being that person, eh? Yeah. Being like that. -I think having my own child, as well, has made me realize that whatever she wants to do or be is, like, completely up to her, and I would do the same. I would support any decisions that she had to make, as well, so I think that's made me realize. -At home, I feel really supported. At school, I feel supported by my friends, but in the real world, I feel like a bomb could go off at any second. I was, like, at a party. I didn't really want to be there, you know? I was just outside breathing in the fresh air, and a guy walks out of the shadows, and he just approached me, and he just kissed me, and then I just walked away saying, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't do this," and just kind of ran back into the house and... -How were you feeling at that point? -Just like I had betrayed someone. Well, I didn't tell him that I wasn't like every other girl. Well, I do feel like a girl, but not everyone sees me that way. Something as simple as a kiss, like, I can't. I just can't do that, that whatever I say, I have to watch out. Whatever I do, I just have to be careful, way more careful than most people. My friend, like, grabbed me and took me into the bathroom and said, "What did you do? What did you do?" And the guy had started, like, smashing walls and... -Why do you think he was reacting so aggressively? -He was probably disgusted, probably, I'm guessing. I can only guess. -Disgusted? -Yeah. Now, after that, I just expect the worst. I feel like anyone who's going to find out about me is just going to smash walls or something. Sometimes, I just feel like, "Who's ever going to love me?" Standby. And action! My passion is filmmaking. A couple of months ago, I won a film competition, and the prize was to remake the film with professional film equipment. -And you're okay? -"Black Dog" is about depression, which is something I know quite a lot about. -This -- This is how I feel. -The message of the film is actually just to let people know that it's okay just to not be okay. Just open up. Cut. That was really good. I really felt that. The films that I made when I was younger had, like, a lot of subtext, and I was kind of, like, oblivious of how that connected to my real life. I did a scene about me coming home, and I just needed to transition into a vampire, and I woke up to a mirror, and I said, "I don't feel myself. What is wrong with me?" I've always been very interested and, like, obsessed with vampires basically, but I never really understood why until I got older. It's, like, that sense of being an outcast and not being the same as everyone else and kind of having to hide that. -Now, I realize it's a little bit sensitive, but can I ask you, are you sexually active yet? -No, and, um, well, the reason I don't really want to be active is because I'm not really that happy with the way I am at the moment. -That's perfectly normal, and that may be one reason why you want to start thinking about surgical options at some stage... -Okay. Yeah. -...if you want to do it. There's no need to do it. You can continue on exactly as you are for as long as you want. When the time comes, if you choose to have more major surgery, we're going to have to have a very careful look. -I heard it was possible to get surgery in New Zealand a few years ago. -We had a team of team of people and an gender dysphoria clinic in Christchurch, and this had been -- We set this up in 1992 when we saw that there's a necessity for this. And we had a team of social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, endocrinologists, genitalia surgeons, colorectal surgeons, and myself as the plastic and reconstructive surgeon. -It seems you need a lot of people to get the operation right, but where are we going to find that expertise again? -At the moment with New Zealand, there is the expertise to carry out all of the, well, as colloquial terms, the top surgery, so chest surgery, facial surgery. What we lack with the retirement Peter Walker is somebody with the skill and experience to perform genital gender-reassignment surgery. When Peter announced that he was going to retire, he, himself, at a personal level tried to actively find a replacement for himself in the country, and we weren't able to identify anybody who had either the expertise or the interest in taking that on. And so we identified that really the only way to do that was to identify a surgeon in training who was willing to take that on. -My dad's iwi is Ngati Kahungunu, and we're going to the marae to see how they will feel about their Te Awarangi living as a female. -

Laughs

Indistinct conversations

-The kaumatua at the marae wants to show me where I've come from, my whakapapa, before the whanau all sit down and have a kotiro. -Well, our back wall has all our whanau who's passed on. -My nan and papa live in the area, and he found it really difficult to accept that he had a trans granddaughter. -You're lucky to have a nice whanau here. We support one another, you know? We have our differences, nothing wrong with that. It clears the air.

Laughter

We laugh. We cry with one another. Can we hear from yourself, Awa, about your life and getting to this stage? -All my life, I've known. Ever since conscious thoughts, I've known that I just wasn't completely myself. I mean, if I could be normal, I might, because it would just be easier, but it's just something that I can't actually help, something I can't change, and, yeah. -You're very brave doing this, very, very brave, and one of the prettiest people of this marae. Am I right? Goodness gracious! Do you want to see some of our woman? Ooh! Very beautiful. -Thank you. -It's going to be a neat journey, but the word they use, "come out of the closet," we need more to come out. -Yeah. -There's a lot hiding around here in every marae, and my son is really gay in that way, but then we love him. I can't not love him. He's as gay as a fruitcake, and that's all right. He's a good person. He's a good person. My son is a good person. -Some of my family have stories that I've never heard before. -

Speaking Maori

Awa. Now, we known you for 20-odd years, but I have been living -- I have a partner, and I've been living with her for almost 20 years now. I have a lot of gay friends that have sort of come out of the closet when late in life, and it was a struggle for them. -Mm. -You're 17, and you can face the world because a lot of them couldn't do it. -Yeah. -And I'm proud of you to make that journey here to us. No matter what we do with our children, we love them all. We have to love them no matter what. -Kia ora, Aunty. -I can only support you. You're actually going through this full transition, so when you become fully, you may come back to this place. -I will. -And we all want to take this journey with you. You won't be on your own. -Yeah. -Because this is a lovely family. -Exactly. -Thank you whanau, thank you for the support.

Breathes shakily

To my son, I can see him looking at me wanting me to say something. -He's smiling. -To my moko, have a safe journey, and your future, I know you're going to make us proud. I'm going to be honest. It's taken me years to accept this, and when we came down to Wellington to see you acting in that play, my heart went out to you. I realized I was just being stubborn and stupid. That's what I can say. I'm sorry, darling. Thank you, whanau, for everything. -A lot of tears of love. -Thank you. -I love you so much, papa. -It's just so heart-wrenching to know that he really wanted to understand, but he just couldn't quite get there straight away. -Oh! -No, it's okay! -And it was really touching that he revealed his true feelings. All I can really say is how honored I felt to actually hear how much these people, how much my family actually loves me, regardless of what gender I want to be. They wouldn't care if I wanted to be a freaking banana. They would still love me. Freaking banana.

Laughs

-I honestly believe that if our sexuality and our gender is part of our waiora, it's part of who we are, then it is absolutely the whanau's responsibility to uphold that and to ensure that their child, their niece, their nephew, their sister, their brother is looked after and protected and helped along that journey and to go along that journey with them. -I know there are more people out there like me, and it's becoming more mainstream, and it seems to be more acceptable with Caitlyn Jenner and "Transparent" TV series, but it's still so impossible to get an operation in New Zealand. I want to. I think it will change everything for me.

Knocks on door

I've heard about a girl who managed to get an operation overseas. -Hello. -Hello. -How are you? -Great to see you. -Lovely to see you. Going to meet some people. -When he was called Nik, he came second on "New Zealand Idol." -I'm looking for new and exciting opportunities. -But that wasn't enough. Nik needed to become Nikki. I plan to do the surgery in the future, but did you ever think about having -- doing it in New Zealand? -Back when I was thinking about it to jump on the waiting list, I mean, I would have been about 75 or something before I could have had the surgery. Very nice, very cool. -Because there is no way to get an operation in New Zealand, she had to figure out something else. -Beautiful. -So Nikki agreed to be filmed for a TV series that would pay for a surgery in Thailand. -My name is Nikki Lee Carlson. I'm 37 years old, and I'm going to Thailand to have a gender reassignment surgery and breast augmentation. -Were you sure that you wanted the operation? -When men think of the surgery, or when anyone thinks of the surgery, they go, "Ooh," you know like, "Ow," but, honestly, I had longed for this body. I had wanted this body from a very young age, and I tell you, it's such a happy feeling to achieve a dream that you have dreamed for a very long time. With the surgery, you can just have that body that matches your soul. -I think I feel the same. I feel the same. I do. I've always wanted to be in the body that I was meant to be in. -Yep. -And I don't think that'll ever go away. -The situation in New Zealand, if you're transgender, get through the process, and it's determined that you qualify for gender reassignment surgery is that you go on a waiting list. Essentially, we have 76 New Zealanders waiting for a surgery that is deemed vital and that they qualify for. We have zero capacity in New Zealand to conduct those surgeries, and for the last three years, no New Zealander has been sent overseas to receive the surgery. -So that's my choice -- go overseas and pay for it myself or go on a TV show and show the whole world, but I want to have it here with my family to support me and aftercare if anything goes wrong, but will that ever happen? -My mum was the first person I told about how I felt, that I felt so out of place, and I was scared she wasn't going to accept what I had to say, but she did, and that's what helped me get through this, and she's helped get my dad on board, my brothers on board. With that support from everyone, I feel I can get through, you know, whatever life throws at me. Anika reminds me more of myself. -Yeah. Why's that, honey? -Because he's quite ambitious. -Ambitious? -Oh...! Excuse me. -I can finally be who I want to be, but not fully because I don't know how that will happen. Will New Zealand change? Will we actually be able to get operations here?

Horses munching

I can officially become female on my passport by filling in a few forms. -Where you off to? -Um, Aussie. -Oh, awesome. We'll just take another one just to make sure. -I've got to get my parents to sign and my doctor to sign and witness by a JP, but after that... There we go....officially female, but it's not enough. It's a big step, but there's still more I want to do. Is there any chance of me getting surgery? -What can we do to, you know, advance the issue? So we need two kind of processes. One is to train somebody up so that they can come home and perform those surgeries in New Zealand, and then in the meantime, we should be identifying a clinic overseas where these people can be sent to to have this surgery. All I see is more and more people being added to a waiting list that, at the moment, there's no hope for... -No movement. -...being able to meet their -- no movement. For a young person like you, that means you're going to go on a very long waiting list that's going to take us over 30 years to meet the needs of New Zealanders who are already on there, and that's way too long. People can't wait for 30 years to have surgeries. -Yeah. -What's happening to those people in the interim? What's their mental health like? You know, how are they coping? I really do think that's the biggest challenge for us as a country. Is it acceptable that young New Zealanders become depressed, self-harm, and then some of them commit suicide because we're not treating them medically. -Mm-hmm. -When I spoke to Louisa Wall, she said that I probably could be an advocate for, you know, transgender people. -As a mum, I think my big concerns with that is that you are so young. You know, if you put yourself out there as the poster child, it's a pretty big mantle to carry. -I think, like, no matter what you're fighting for, there's always going to be someone that opposes it, so... -If nobody fights anything, nothing changes. -Yeah. -The waiting list is like 35 years. It's a long time, isn't it? People that are in the same position as you, and they have no money, they basically have to live their whole life trapped in the wrong body, the body that they don't feel they're meant to be in. So whatever you decide, we'll be behind you. -I have so much. I'm a director. Cut. My family is amazing. I love school. My friends are so supportive, but there's one thing I need to finish my journey, and that one thing can't be done in New Zealand. I want to be accepted. I want to be a person, and I want to live -- not survive and struggle. I want to be a woman, inside and out.

Waves lapping

Wind rushing

Waves lapping

Wind rushing

Waves lapping

Waves lapping

Music playing in distance

Indistinct conversations

People singing in Samoan

-

Speaks Samoan

Laughter

Turn signal clicking

-

Singing in Samoan

-This kind of job especially for mens or for boys, but we actually can do it because we are trans men, so... I think better than the men, eh?

Laughs

I was born in Samoa and my whole life was raised by my grandmother. When I got in eighth grade and in the school, and then I found my first kiss, and it was a girl. When I did that, I realized that this is really who I am. But the sad part, it was really hard for me to come out because of my family was really strict. When I was young, I haven't seen anybody like me, and I thought, "I am the only world, like, just like this." Even when I go to church, I have to wear a miniskirt and a top, so I was thinking, "I think it's better for me to stay home and not go anywhere, just to..." and I was trying to build my courage to come out of the box.

Indistinct conversations

But finally, I met some of them, and now we are like a family.

Indistinct conversations

We share each other. We give advices to each other and encourage them to believe in theirself. -

Speaking Samoan

-

Speaking Samoan

Singing in Samoan

Fa'atama means female to a male, fa'atama. -When I was 14 years old, I know at that time, I know I was a tomboy, and I'd tell my parents, "I don't like guys. I only like girls," and he turn around and, "Get your stuff and move out. Go look a place to stay." All my...beat me up. So I went to bed with bruise on my body and tears in my eyes every time. I used to sleep in here. I have to sleep on that corner. And I got nothing on me to buy food and clothes, water. All I own, just me and my clothes -- what I'm wearing on that time. I don't know. I got nothing on me. I just wanted to be just... I just want to be gone all the time. That's what I am thinking like that. "I'm going to hang myself." That's what I was thinking, what I'm going to do next. I was homeless three years. It's not good for me. Yeah. -

Singing in Samoan

-My name is Vanila Heather, as everyone call me Ice, Mr. Ice. The Rogers is the group of trans men. The Rogers was established last year when To'oto'oali'i wants to have our first trans-men group. Roger is the former president of the Samoa Fa'afafine Association, and she was the one that inspired this job. She was kind of mad at me like, "Where are all the trans men? If you don't come out with a group of trans men, and that's it for you." We are first organization ever in the Pacific, and that's from Mama Roger.

Speaking Samoan

Speaking Samoan

Choir singing hymn

Samoa has a special service for fa'atama and fa'afafine before the pageant. It's a great feeling for us to be part of the service this year because we just establish our Rogers last year, so... And this is the first time ever for the fa'atama to be in church with the fa'afafine. -I really like going church on Sunday, but I used to wear girls' clothes when I go to church. -The Rogers, that was the first time ever they went to church, you know, because of the dress code in our villages and churches.

Indistinct conversations

Signal beeping

-Yeah. Ah!

Indistinct conversations

-Everyone on TV's gonna laugh at me. -

Laughs

-

Speaking Samoan

-He was a taxi driver back then. Some of my friends, we called for taxi, and this one came to pick us up. -She's so attractive, and she's so beautiful to me, and I fell for her the minute I saw Mali. -The first person I told was my brother, and he said, "What's going on? You're not eating? What's going on?" and I said, "I'm in love." "Yeah? Who's the boy?"

Laughs

-I'm the one.

Laughs

-"No, I'm in love with a girl."

Both laugh

And, um... I was so surprised with his reaction. I -- instead of, um, slapping me in the face or... He jumped right up and hugged me. And he was hugging me, and he said... ...if I'm happy with my decision, he'll support me. -When I told my grandpa that I don't like boys, and he goes, "Okay. I'll give you the man's job to do all your life to test you out whether you can..." -You can handle men's chores. -"...handle men's jobs or not. If you not pass the test, and then you have to go back to wear a dress." Like, "Oh, okay," and then I'll put my every effort there to prove my grandpa that I can do it because he doesn't want me to suffer when he's gone, you know? If I want to be a man... And then I told my grandpa, "Don't say if I want to be. No. I am. I am because I feel like a man." When I passed the test, he was... -He started buying you underwears. -And even when he... -Men's underwears. -...passed away, my grandma save all my grandpa's undies for me, you know? -

Laughs

People singing in Samoan

-Yeah.

Indistinct conversations

-Roger, our main president of SFA, put a lot of effort and hard work into putting together this association for fa'atama. So that's why they're called Rogers.

Cheers and applause

People singing in Samoan

Applause