My Ascension

- This program is made possible by Children's Hospital New Orleans.

- This is what fighting for mental health looks like.

- All of life's hardships we think we have to deal with on our own when all it is is just talking to somebody.

- Five minutes of real talk every day, and let's fight for mental health.

- When life's moments get tough, you're not alone, and we are here to help.

Joe DiMaggio Children's Hospital.

Newport Healthcare, empowering lives and restoring families through mental health treatment programs for teens and young adults across the US.

Learn more at newporthealthcare.com.

The Charles E. Kubly Foundation, devoted to improving the lives of those with depression.

The Culley Strong Foundation, dedicated to supporting suicide prevention.

Additional funders include... (no audio) (soft dramatic music) (soft dramatic music continues) - 133712.

June 7, 2017.

(phone dialing) - Emma!

Oh, Emma!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Please hurry!

- 911.

What's the address of the emergency?

- My daughter shot herself.

Please, please, please hurry.

Please send someone, ma'am.

- Okay, they're on the way, okay?

Can you tell where she shot herself at?

- It looks like she shot herself in the neck.

- In the neck?

- Yes, she's bleeding.

- Okay.

Is she breathing?

- Yes, ma'am.

She's breathing.

Emma, stay with me, baby girl.

Please, please stay with me.

- How old is she?

- She's 16.

- She's 16?

- She's 16.

- I'm gonna tell you how to stop the bleeding, okay?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Get a clean, dry cloth or towel and place it right on the wound.

- I have my hand on the wound.

- Okay, I want you to say now every single time she takes a breath in, starting immediately.

- Now.

(heartbeat pounding) Now.

Now.

Now.

Now.

Now.

- Okay, is the bleeding controlled now?

- I can't really tell, ma'am.

She's still breathing, but there's still blood now.

- She's still breathing?

- Now.

Now.

Now.

She's kind of convulsing a little bit.

- She's convulsing?

Okay, but she is breathing.

They're almost there, okay?

- I hear them.

Can I go?

- Okay, you hear 'em?

Okay, go open the door for 'em, okay?

- Yes.

(soft dramatic music) (sirens wailing distantly) - I just remember hearing the ringing in my ears and I could taste the gunpowder.

There was like 1,000,001 thoughts going through my head.

The first one was, what did I just do?

I don't wanna die.

No one's gonna know I didn't wanna die.

The next thing I remember was my mom coming in the room, falling to her knees, saying, "Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Just keep breathing.

Just keep breathing."

- Central Parish police detective called me and said that, "Mr. Benoit, your daughter has shot herself."

And I said, "What?"

- Seeing her in ICU with tubes everywhere and fluids being pumped from every which way and things like that was pretty damaging.

She looked broken.

- Say her name, Mommy.

- Hi.

You're such a silly little girl.

Emma was fun.

She was very charismatic.

She loved to dance.

She was always a performer.

- My name's Ashton Emma and this is.

(laughing) - Eventually she just got into cheering.

She had a serious swagger to her up there.

(crowd cheering) - I didn't have a clue she was struggling.

She hid it very well.

- You start thinking immediately, where did I go wrong?

Especially with somebody like her who was not one sign ever.

You know, cheerleader, great grades in school, friends, popular.

Not Emma.

- Do it again.

Yes.

- The weekend before my incident, I was in New York for a three-day trip.

We went with a local photographer and she made us feel like we were real models.

It was a really, really fun trip.

I was on an extreme high and coming home just, you know, things weren't going right for me and I just constantly felt exhausted.

I thought what was doing was best for everyone around me.

If Emma Benoit was gone, then no one has to think about her anymore, no one has to worry about her anymore.

She's gone and that's it.

- That's a wrap!

- I thought we were all doing this in the beginning.

- In middle school I was picked on a lot, and my mom and dad would tell me, you know, "Don't show 'em that it bothers you, 'cause if you do, then that's just gonna make 'em want to pick on you even more."

So I guess that it kind of stemmed from there.

Like, if I admit to everyone else that I'm depressed or have anxiety, then everyone would just think I was weak.

I was always super hard on myself with everything.

Every little mistake I'd make, I would just be like, well my life is pointless.

Like, I don't even know why I'm alive.

But no one could really tell 'cause I'll just put a mask on.

I had like pretty much stayed in the same range like on the outside.

For as long as I can remember I have struggled with anxiety and depression.

And, wow, it's the first time I've ever admitted that.

My entire life, the first thing I would do when I was hurting was go tell my mom.

Why is it that when we're hurting physically, we have no problem telling our family and friends, but when we're hurting emotionally or mentally, we tend to keep it to ourselves?

If we don't tell someone about our pain, it will likely never go away.

Silence will never keep us safe.

The bullet went through my neck and exited through the base of my skull.

It severed my carotid artery.

That caused a lot of internal bleeding.

They placed a stent in my carotid, and then all the blood went up to my brain and caused several strokes.

And then they found a blood clot pressing down on my spinal cord from C5 to T2.

Waking up in the hospital a couple days later, I truly didn't have a clue as to what happened or why I was in the hospital.

My first thought was that I had been attacked, like beat up.

And then as I started to come to and started to remember, oh, this is what actually happened, and that was a whole nother level of heaviness in itself.

How was I capable of doing something like that?

I just could not make sense of it.

It wasn't until I found out that I would be paralyzed.

That's when it kind of all started coming back.

My parents weren't in the room, and the little nurse was in there and she saw me staring at my legs.

And I would look at my legs, I would look at her, look back at my legs, look back at her.

She went out and got the other nurse that was on duty and they both started to cry.

And they were like, "You were shot, and in return you have a spinal cord injury, which is why you're paralyzed."

And I couldn't talk, so I started to freak out and I don't remember.

I guess they just sedated me even more.

The only thing I can move was this left arm and this bum hand.

I felt trapped in my own body.

I didn't regain movement in my body until two months after my attempt.

Hey.

Everything I thought was easy, it became hard instantly.

They said I may walk or I may not.

They said there's a 1% chance that I will.

I have a happy pill, a hair growth pill, a blood pressure pill, a muscle relaxing pill, a nerve pill.

- Load 'em up, move 'em out.

Rawhide - I was doing outpatient therapy five days a week here, but felt like I needed to be pushed more.

I discovered Project Walk through Instagram, and their primary focus is spinal cord injuries.

- That looked good, Emma.

How hard was that?

Scale like one to 10.

- Oh, probably a seven.

- Okay.

- The first day I did it it was like a nine, so it's getting easier.

- So we're getting a little bit better?

- Yeah.

(soft contemplative music) I like that, the script font.

My mom actually recommended doing a website, and at first I was kind of like skeptical.

I was like, you know, I don't know if I wanna put it out there for the world to see what I really have been through and what I'm going through.

And then one day I came across another suicide survivor's website, and I saw how many lives and people he's touching and saving, and I just was like maybe my pain and suffering can help someone else.

Turns out that Kevin Hines, the suicide attempt survivor I had discovered online, was coming to Baton Rouge to premiere his new documentary.

One of the producers had seen my blog and reached out to see if I would share my story on a panel after the screening.

(audience applauding) Hey.

- Hey.

(laughing) - I'm clearly nervous, so I'm probably gonna sound like I'm reading off of a script 'cause I am.

So will you hold it for me?

- Yeah, I got you.

Okay.

- I'm 17, and a little over eight months ago I, on June 7th, I attempted to take my own life.

I guess from outside looking in I had an ideally perfect life.

I was happy, outgoing, and always smiling, on the outside.

But what no one knew was anxiety and depression had taken over my life and I didn't even know it.

I was always ashamed of the way I felt, and I thought that if I opened up, people wouldn't look at me the same.

So, June 7th things got just too dark to where I couldn't even imagine a life anymore.

I felt that there was no other way out.

So, I knew my dad had a gun, and I pulled the trigger.

And as I lied there, hearing the blood pour out of the back of my neck, the only thought going through my head was, oh my gosh, I do not want to die.

Oh my gosh, I do not want to die.

But on a hopeful note, I was saved that day, and now thankfully and humbly I'm fighting to live a happy and healthy life.

I just, the one thing I'm certain of is I just know that if it saves at least one person or even helps one person to just stand up and be like, "Hey look, that's me."

You know, "I have those feelings and I have those thoughts," and not to be ashamed of it, then it's worth it.

- Woo!

(audience applauding) - One of the people I was on the panel with at the premier was Tonja Miles, and she offered to meet with me and help me with my mental health recovery.

So I don't really know much about your story 'cause, I mean, I was having a little panic attack whenever you're telling it, but it's probably a very long story.

- I'm gonna break it down, tell you in like one minute.

Seven years old molested, 10 years old sexually active on my own.

The first time I tried to commit suicide, I was 13.

I ended up getting my stomach pumped in the hospital.

Unlike you, I now I heard your story and you said that you regretted after you did it.

I was mad that it didn't happen.

I wanted peace just that bad, 'cause my mind was so tormented.

What you're doing is like amazing.

I think you're so brave.

- It's hard to like come to terms with everything that I went through and everything that I was thinking, but I'm doing it.

- So what I do, I get to wake up every day and help people who have issues with mental health or substance abuse.

I see, you know, you doing the same thing.

You know, you being a counselor, you know, being a person that's gonna be able to tell people, you know what?

I've been there, done that, and there's hope.

(soft gentle music) - Just because I attempted to take my own life doesn't make me any kind of expert in suicide prevention, so I wanted to learn more from the nation's leading experts.

Dr. Ray Tucker, who I had met at the premiere, invited me to come to LSU to meet with him and some of his colleagues.

- Suicide is a huge problem worldwide, but here in the United States we've actually seen suicide rates increase by 33% since 1999.

We know that almost 10 million people a year will experience very serious thoughts of suicide.

Maybe as high as about 2.5 million will start to plan a suicide attempt.

There's about 1.1 to 1.2 million suicide attempts every year, and that results in about 45 to 46,000 deaths per year.

- What would you say is the most effective form of prevention that you've seen firsthand?

- One of the best ways to interview somebody who's struggling with suicidality is to get on the floor with them.

And that's usually not physically what you're doing.

You're probably- - But get on their level.

- Get on their level.

- Yeah.

- Like take some time to let yourself feel that level of pain.

- And be compassionate, yeah.

Before my attempt, I didn't really know suicide was that common, and I certainly didn't know that every day in the US 20 young people died by suicide.

In 2018, about 7,600 young people took their own life.

That's equivalent to losing the entire student bodies of nine high schools in one year.

For every one death by suicide, hundreds of people are impacted for life.

Moms, dads, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, classmates, teachers, and the list goes on and on.

- When I'm working with kids, I say, you know, just tell me and we'll figure it out together.

You know, it doesn't mean that you are going to get locked up for years.

You know?

- Yeah.

- I mean, it's about coming up with a plan.

And the more people that know that you're hurting, the better off.

- Yeah, I didn't want to like share with anyone because I knew how frowned upon it was.

- But your story will say to someone out there thinking about death, maybe I need to pause.

And in those minutes, their whole world can change.

- A local teen who lived to talk about her suicide attempt is sharing her story with the world.

- I thought that there was no other way out.

Because of the paralysis the only thing I could move was this left arm, and so I had to use a cuff that they strapped on right here to insert my toothbrush, my fork, my hairbrush.

It was just so frustrating.

And I remember saying, "If you're real and you are so merciful and you are so forgiving and you're just so, such a good God, then why are you doing this to me?

Why?

Like, why are you punishing me?"

And in an instant after I was done ranting and screaming, I heard in a very bold, stern, father-like voice say, "I'm not punishing you, I'm rewarding you."

And then he said, "Be patient, be patient."

And in an instant my bitterness turned to gratitude.

Every little thing that I got to do, I would say thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

It wasn't an easy journey coming to faith.

It hasn't been, but I'm working on it.

(car whooshing softly) - You should feel so loved that so many people are glad that you are still here.

- One of the things I'm most grateful for is like this new perspective I have on life.

Sounds so silly, but I really do see colors brighter.

I saw how affected my loved ones and my parents were and how everyone was affected.

- Right, right.

- My entire community was, you know, shook.

- There are loved ones that are left behind.

Tell me about your son a little bit.

- My son's name was Jesse, Jesse Randall.

He was 24 years old.

He wasn't just my son, he was my best friend.

And he was going through a divorce and he had gotten depressed and I knew he was depressed.

He said, "But I'm gonna be okay.

I just gotta get used to it."

Two days later he took his life.

That was the worst day of my life.

Just think about how your mom and dad must feel.

- Yeah.

- You know?

And I'm glad that they still have their beautiful daughter, 'cause they deserve you, and God ain't through with you.

He has some work for you.

- Thank you so much.

- I know that's right.

Come on.

- You're gonna make me cry.

- That's the truth.

- He's not through with you, baby.

- Bubba Randall was the first parent that I had ever met that had lost a child to suicide, and it kind of gave me a better understanding of what it must've been like for my mom and dad.

It took me a while and I'm just now starting to realize like the truth and like the real feelings that I was having.

I resented my parents so much.

I was constantly lying, go to parties all the time and tell my mom I was going somewhere else, and then I would, you know, sneak out all the time and like, you know, drink and smoke.

My mom like has always had the best heart.

Like she's always had good intentions and like, you know, always wanted to be our friend, but our mom at the same time.

Um.

(soft somber music) And I like, just love her, truly.

I mean, there's no better way to say it.

You know, makes me like wanna go back and like punch me in the throat and say like, you know, you don't know how good you had it.

You know?

(soft somber music) - There is no age that is more likely to think about suicide and attempt suicide than high school kids.

There's hormonal changes that affect your moods that also affect your appearance, and people then treat you differently based on how you look.

The other thing is that your brain is still developing, you know?

And in fact, the prefrontal cortex, the reasoning aspect of your brain is not fully developed until 25, so there's a lot of black and white thinking.

So you know, either things are really great or really horrible.

So a failed test means not only did I fail a test, but it means I'm a failure.

- Right, and that I have no future.

- And this is also the stage of identity development where you're trying to figure out who you are in this world, and now it's defined by your peers.

And do they have a clue?

They're struggling just like you are.

And you're also going through academic pressures, relationship pressures, even sex, drugs, alcohol exposure, all of those things for the first time with zero life experience.

If we could do a better job in schools of training how to help each other and actually begin to empowering young people, that to me is the secret.

- I wanted to see what else I could do to make a difference.

I found out about Hope Squad, a school-based suicide prevention program that trained students to help their peers.

I connected with its founder, Dr. Greg Hudnall, and he offered to do a video chat so I could learn more about the program.

- So I read a little bit about you.

What a journey.

- Yeah.

Still on the journey, though.

- So here's our program.

In our school district we were averaging one to two suicides a year for over 10 years.

So we decided as a school district we needed to do something, so we went into Timpview High School.

So we pulled 40 kids together, started training them how to recognize signs of a friend struggling, how to talk to 'em, but most important, when to go to an adult.

It was so successful we put it in 13 elementaries, three middle schools and three high schools.

We went nine years without a suicide.

- Wow.

- Nine years.

So now we're in 12 other states.

We're in Alaska, Canada.

- But not in Louisiana.

- Not in Louisiana.

- So what would I have to do to get that started in Louisiana?

- The first thing is you gotta get a school district who's gonna be committed to support it.

- I think it's something that they would really be into doing and looking into for sure.

(soft inspiring music) - So what I want you to think of is squeezing this glute and think about driving this heel into the ground as if you were pulling it back.

You gotta have the right attitude and believe in yourself and believe that it's gonna get better.

It's not gonna happen overnight, but with the positive attitude, you're gonna wanna push yourself to go further.

- All right, Emma.

We're gonna do some pre-driving.

So what I want you to work on and I want you to focus on is just using your foot to be able to press the accelerator to get back.

- It was so important to me to get back driving, because whenever I'm driving I forget sometimes that I'm disabled and that I struggle with a disability now.

(soft gentle music) While I was still in the rehab hospital, my mom told me about a classmate of mine, Jacob Moran, who had taken his life.

I knew his family and friends must be really hurting, so I reached out to see if I could offer support or help in any way.

(soft gentle music) I'm just so fortunate to be here 'cause I know it could've gone south.

But you can't help but think why?

Why was I saved, but he wasn't?

- It just goes like that sometimes.

You can't really change what happened, but you can only be grateful that you're still here and be there for those who need help.

- I guess like my question is like, what do y'all want to do?

There's something called a Hope Squad, and it's basically a group of however many students- - Kinda like peer support.

- Yeah.

- Do you think you would've went to Hope Squad if Dutchtown had it?

- Yeah.

'Cause I know it wouldn't have been anyone that I was super close with, and I know it would've been a place where I could go and really like pour myself too.

Oh, yeah.

- Because you can't expect people to come to best friends because Jacob didn't come to any of us and tell us, "Hey, I'm thinking about doing this."

- Yeah.

- The one thing that stuck out to me was when he was doing the self interview thing.

He asked himself if he had a chance to do his life over again, would he?

- If you were given the ability to redo your entire life, knowing everything you know now, would you do it?

Most definitely.

It's not so much about fixing mistakes, but just making a new life for myself.

So much happens because of my own actions.

So, we change everything.

What if the changes weren't for the better?

Well, there's no way to predict that.

I just make the decisions that seem best at the time.

What makes you uncomfortable?

People who ask what makes me uncomfortable.

Why is that?

Because you're just an empty chair.

(soft contemplative music) - My concern about Hope Squad is, you know, if our student body chooses 40, 50 kids and everyone's working really hard and yet we still have an incident of suicide, it's a heavy burden for adults, and I worry about it being a heavy burden for kids.

- I just think that there needs to be some sort of change.

And I think that's one of the reasons why I know I'm here, is to just plant a seed.

Ms. Francois decided not to do the Hope Squad at Dutchtown High, but I still think the Hope Squad would be a great program to bring to Louisiana.

(soft gentle music) I feel like before I didn't really have an identity.

I like kind of relied on Instagram.

Like I relied on the likes.

- Yeah.

- I relied on the comments.

- To make you feel better.

- Yeah.

I would always have to look put together in each thing I posted, and now I'm like, I don't care.

- Yeah.

- Like, I'll post a picture of myself like this right now.

- And you should just not care about impressing everybody with your little po, you know?

- If you can't show someone like your raw self, and if you can't love your like complete authentic self, like how do you expect someone to love- - You for you.

- Yeah.

- I'm really excited to come back and have pink hair.

- I know, right?

You really wanna do it all over?

- Yes.

- Okay.

- What kind of question is that?

- It's gonna be cool.

- You only live once.

(soft gentle music) (birds squawking) When I heard about the Out of the Darkness Suicide Prevention Walk, I decided to form a team to take part.

- Let's see.

Oh, man.

Trust in miracles.

(bright acoustic music) (bright acoustic music continues) - Yeah, because I'm gonna set the other stuff up on the other side of the mat.

(bright acoustic music) - I love your hair.

- Thank you.

- Talk to her, babe.

Tell her what's going on and tell her what we have been going through with.

- All right, I guess.

- Karen reached out to me through my website and she was the first person I connected with that was actively struggling with suicidal thoughts.

- So I'm Karen's mom, (indistinct).

She has been so inspired by you.

It really has helped her a lot.

- Actually.

- It's so good to finally meet you.

- When, my aunt is the one who heard of you, and the day that it was New Year's Eve, I was just having so much suicidal thoughts.

I would cry every day.

I'm sure you understand.

- Yeah, I do.

I get it.

Do you struggle with more of like depression or anxiety or?

- Depression.

- Do you have any like friends at school or like, not even after school, but like just friends in general that you can like talk to to get things off your mind and stuff?

- Yeah.

- That's good.

- I had the perfect life.

- Yeah.

- Like I would make A's.

I was a class clown.

I was- - Yeah.

- Until I hit ninth grade and my life just fell apart.

- Do you know anything that like triggered it?

- My uncle had just died in July.

I don't know if this is it.

I had started my period.

Just a lot.

- And obviously suicide is not ever the answer.

I mean, there's literally a whole walk dedicated to preventing it and spreading awareness for it.

(bright acoustic music) (bright acoustic music continues) How does it go?

- I have no idea.

- After a lot of therapy, I started being able to go short distances using a walker.

- I saw on that.

YouTube, like next up.

- Oh.

- But yeah.

- Christmas version.

(Emma groaning) - There we go.

There we go.

How am I gonna do this?

Let's see.

(soft gentle music) (door closing) (engine starting) (door closing) (soft solemn music) (soft solemn music continues) (soft solemn music continues) - Lord, our God, the death of our sister Karen recalls our human condition and the brevity of our lives on earth.

May God be with us today as we make this last journey with our sister.

(soft gentle music) (soft gentle music continues) (attendee crying) (soft gentle music) (soft gentle music continues) (soft gentle music continues) (footsteps clomping) - No matter what I say or how much I do, like it's never gonna be enough to prevent it completely.

So that's a scary thought.

(soft solemn music) Experiencing Karen's passing put things into perspective for me because it was the first person that I had known to die by suicide.

(soft solemn music) It really made me realize what it might've been like for my friends and family having me pass away by suicide.

(soft solemn music) (child babbling) (person laughing) (soft solemn music) (child babbling) - Well, she just threw that cat in a basket.

(laughing) She made it in with the cat.

- Shh.

- Say it louder.

- Probably thinking can I get it in there?

- I think he's trying to get away.

- Yes, that's what I was thinking.

- Watch him.

- So I was wondering if Karen knew.

Like, was it spur a moment for her or?

- The best way to put it is like it's a moment of crisis, and like your entire mind is captivated by that moment.

And like I would think to say that it's the same thing for her.

- She also did the same things that you did as far as academically pushed herself to levels that were unrealistic.

Even though we lost Karen, I'm grateful for the connection she felt with you.

- Yeah.

- Because I think you gave us some extra time, unknowingly.

We are so grateful for you for that.

- The majority of youth who attempt suicide are experiencing mental health challenges, usually depression.

Among teenagers, suicide attempts may be associated with feelings of stress, self-doubt, pressure to succeed, financial uncertainty, disappointment and loss.

Mental health challenges and thoughts of suicide are treatable by utilizing things like crisis lines, psychiatry, counseling, medication, peer support, support groups and support from friends and family.

- So how's therapy going?

Is it helping?

- Oh, is it, yes.

- Do y'all talk about trauma at all?

- Yeah, I was telling her about some phantom pains I was having in my chest, like from the gunshot wound, and she was like, "You probably are suffering from a little PTSD."

- When I was diagnosed with PTSD, I thought that like who would wanna marry somebody with the kind of baggage I came with?

- Yes.

- And so when I met my husband, you know, he was just like, you know, "I'm all in," and it's been 24 years.

So, you know, don't think that because we make these few mistakes, you know, we don't deserve or we don't get to have a good life.

- Right, that it defines us.

- Yeah, it doesn't define us, you know?

So what's up with you?

You got a boo?

- Uh, I've kinda like put that whole part of life to the back burner.

- Why?

- What?

What do you mean why?

- Just what I said.

Why?

- Because I'm so unattractive in the wheelchair.

- There is so much life in you and you're so vibrant.

- Yeah, but you're a grown woman.

- So what that got to do with anything?

- So, little- - Excuse me?

- Little boys aren't gonna think that.

- What little boys?

You don't need to be dealing with little boys.

- Okay, well, young men.

(Tonja laughing) I guess.

A counselor that had seen me speak once reached out to me about one of her clients who had been struggling.

- Recently I've been thinking about taking my own life.

I feel like I'm not worthy, like I was brought here for no reason.

I won't get anywhere in life.

Nobody like really loves me.

People just feel bad for me.

I feel like I'm just a waste of time.

I'm something that should just be like wiped out.

- So I can definitely relate to you on that as like feeling like you don't have a place and feeling like you don't know what you wanna do and who you are and where you fit in and stuff.

- Yeah.

- So there's no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed about the way you're feeling.

- Yeah.

- It's so necessary that people understand how you're feeling.

So, please talk to somebody.

I don't care if you have to scream it from the rooftops.

You're awesome.

You don't have to go away.

You can come.

Whenever you're drawing things like this, what are you feeling?

- That's how I feel on the inside.

I feel like an alien.

It's weird.

- And honestly though, like, I think that it's okay that you feel that way.

I think it's normal that you feel that way.

- Do I like change whenever I'm depressed?

- Sometimes you get a little gloomy or something.

- How'd that make you feel?

- Mmm.

Sad or guilty or something.

- Why guilty?

- Because I'm the one that don't really have it.

I'm mostly happy and going outside and stuff, but she's just laying in her room.

- You didn't know anything?

- No.

I...

Sorry.

Noah, I love you so much.

You are my best friend, so I have to try to stay outta my room.

I can't stop smiling.

- See?

- I have this weird feeling.

- It's called hope.

- Yes, it feels good.

- Suicide doesn't discriminate, but certain groups are impacted even more.

Boys are three times more likely to die by suicide than girls.

Native American youth have the highest suicide rates.

LGBTQ youth are three times more likely to attempt suicide.

Suicide attempts by African American youth are increasing at rates much higher than other youth.

(soft bright music) - Okay.

- Wait, Emma's driving?

- Yes!

- Yeah, she's drivin'.

- I drove all the way out here.

What are y'all talking about?

- She can drive a car.

She can drive a golf cart.

- I started driving a golf cart before I started driving a car.

Wait, how do I get outta park?

- You go, just press the gas.

- Is that gonna like fly?

It's like a jerk?

- Probably, so.

Oh, my bad, my bad.

- Yeah, you just grab.

I'm not scared.

- Okay.

(laughing) - Yeah, look, whenever the water comes up like this, me, Karen and Maddie one time we rode our bikes into it.

There's so many trails and we always used to go on the trails, and Thelma would always drive, which is me, 'cause I would always drive the golf cart, and Louise would always ride with me, so we were Thelma and Louise.

And then my dad was like, oh, we have to make a name for Maddie.

So he just made up Agnes and that's how we became Thelma, Louise and Agnes.

- That's funny.

I wanna be more of like a contemporary name.

Like Tracy.

- You wanna be Tracy?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Thelma, Louise, Agnes and Tracy.

(laughing) - When you think of Karen, what's the first thing you think of?

- Her presence.

I go see her all the time.

Just have conversations with her, talk to her, tell her I'm sorry, and why'd you do this?

All kind of questions.

And then I realize I'm not gonna get any answers, so I just kind of talk to her about me, I guess, and ask her to watch over me, take care of me, help me throughout the day every day.

- When I go see her I just think, like, old memories.

Think of old memories and like what we could have had together, so.

- Weddings, children, family neighborhood we were supposed to start.

- I think you said you won't ever get any answers or something like that.

- Yeah, yeah.

- And I believe you will.

Not necessarily answers, but you'll have like some sort of peace with it.

- I hope so.

I need it.

- Gotta keep chugging along.

- Yep.

- Gotta keep goin'.

- Yep.

- Keep chuggin'.

- Keep chuggin', Tracy.

- Whenever Erin and Maddie approached me about wanting to do something to honor Karen, I thought about the Hope Squad and thought that it would be a great thing to bring to Letcher High School.

(soft gentle music) - So when you close your eyes at night, do you wish you had died sometimes?

- No.

- You're glad to be alive?

- Mmm-hmm.

I'm more bitter and angry at the fact that I even attempted to take my life.

I'm angry at that situation, not that the fact that I survived.

- So when you attempted, everything was closing in on you?

- Yeah, kind of just tapping out on life essentially.

To put it the way I was thinking that in that moment, I was a lot like Karen.

- So the two young ladies on your left probably knew her as well as anyone.

Did y'all sense this?

- We knew, but like we didn't expect anything like this.

She would always go to like someone else random on the volleyball team or someone that like she doesn't really talk to, but she just felt like she couldn't talk to us for some reason.

- So it sometimes was probably easier for Karen to open up to someone who wasn't a immediate part of her family.

- Some adults might think that we're being dramatic or overreacting and they don't understand.

And I think having people our age, having people who know our feelings and what we're going through is gonna be way more supportive than being told just suck it up.

- Yeah.

Yeah, that's like her ultimate goal for us now.

Like, that's what she kind of like left us with.

Like a puzzle.

Like put it together, figure it out.

Figure out how to help other people like me, 'cause I know you can and I know you will.

(soft somber music) - As you know, St. James Parish lost a precious 15-year-old 10th grader to suicide over the Thanksgiving break.

What you may not know is that we have had several other students within our district hospitalized for attempted suicide or for feelings of hopelessness, despair, and severe depression.

One of the things Letcher High School is doing is to create a Hope Squad, which is a peer-to-peer suicide prevention program.

I know for a fact that if Karen was here, she would be actively pushing for us to get this going.

It's critical to me that we honor her in this way, and my faculty is ready to be a part of this.

Thank you.

- When the school board approved the Hope Squad starting at Lecher, I was so excited.

We were then able to bring out Dr. Greg Hudnall to train the teachers and school administrators.

- We're afraid to talk about suicide.

We think if we talk about it, it's gonna give someone the idea, when the reality is young people don't wanna die.

They want their pain to go away, but they don't know how to make that pain go away.

They're already texting their friends, "I can't take it anymore.

I'm at wit's end."

And those friends don't know what to do.

So what we try to do is counter that and provide that support.

The students go through training so they get self-help.

So how to take care of myself, self-care.

Boundaries, what's appropriate, what's not appropriate.

So they're constantly being trained and supported that way.

And what we can do as united effort is support those young people who are trying to support their friends.

That's the value of having the peers.

(audience applauding) (bright piano music) Oh, oh, whoa (bright piano music) Way below the surface Underneath the skin Somewhere hidden away Tucked deep within lies the truth It exists in you - One of the things I want you to understand from the very beginning, this is not a school issue.

This is a community issue.

If we're going to address it and attack it, it has to be all of us working together.

- Having a mental illness is like trying to stay above water.

You tread and you tread, but something under the water keeps pulling you down further.

Many other students in this community are exhausted, but we continue treading water.

We are drowning out here.

We need a lifeguard to send out a raft and pull us ashore.

(audience applauding) (soft contemplative music) - Karen is really on my heart right now because I so wish that she was here instead of me doing this for her community and her school.

The day that Karen died is the day that so many others' pain began, and I don't want that on anyone else.

(soft gentle music) Young people have fueled some of the most important social movements in history.

I'm new to suicide prevention, but other young people have been doing tremendous work for many years to raise awareness and prevent suicides.

If we're going to end this epidemic, we need more young people to take action.

(soft bright music) - So I want to introduce everybody to Miss Emma Benoit.

- Hi, guys.

- Grateful that you've come to to visit with us today.

This is our Hope Squad that we've put together after talking with you in the spring.

- Hope Squad has a gift for you.

- Oh my gosh!

- It's from all of us.

- My very own T-shirt.

Thanks.

I wanna put it on right now.

I'm gonna be a part of the gang.

(group laughing) I just wanna know like why it's important for them.

- So before she died she said that she wanted to be like a social worker 'cause she always wanted to help other people with suicide awareness.

- It's one of those things that like you hear about happen on the news or like you see in movies and stuff like that, but you never really think it's gonna happen here until it does.

And when I got invited I was just like, this is how you stop it from happening again.

- When Karen left us, I had to watch Erin grieve.

I had to watch Maddie grieve.

Kamie, Mallory, like close, close friends.

And if I could do something to never watch someone that I love grieve, that's what I'm gonna do.

- I just have to say that we are all here because of your story, your journey, and you sharing your experiences.

We didn't even know about Hope Squad until you learned about it.

You've touched all of our lives, and so thank you.

- Who's taking the picture so we know which camera?

- If you're looking at 19-year-old Emma today, looking back at, you know, 14, 15, 16-year-old Emma, what would you have told your younger self?

- Probably one of the biggest lessons that I've learned through all this is like that we are not meant to do life alone.

And that, you know, like fellowship is the biggest aspect of life, and like being there for one another.

And I get so much more joy and peace within myself whenever I simply just am there for people and just like give people the unconditional and unwavering love that they all deserve, because it's really such a simple concept.

We all just need to be better symbols of love.

- You ready?

- Sure.

- What are we going for?

- However long I can go without making you carry me.

Do not leave the treadmill.

- Okay.

Okay?

- Need to go slower.

What are you doing?

- Making it faster.

- Oh God.

- Come on, keep walkin'.

Stand up tall.

Get your knee up.

(soft gentle music) One minute left.

You gonna make it?

- Mmm-hmm.

Actually, I don't think I am.

- Gettin' tired?

- Well, stop.

You can't stop walking.

(Emma chuckling) - I was about to fall.

Oh!

- Good job.

It was just you on there for like the last minute and a half.

- You were behind me.

- No, I was standing over there on the ground.

- Okay, well, whatever.

Same thing.

(soft gentle music) (call beeping) - Looks good, Emma May.

- I got some exciting news to update you on.

I have a really nice boyfriend.

- Oh-ho-ho.

So when did this happen?

Tell me everything.

- So you remember how I told you that I had put that on the back burner?

Well, it just kind of fell into my lap and he's like my best friend and my boyfriend, and it's just great.

We get on so well and like it's just the perfect blessing for the perfect time in my life I feel like, you know?

I was like right up front, open and honest about what I've been through, my journey, my current struggles, things I can't do, things I can do.

I'm super happy.

I think this is probably the happiest I've been in a little while.

(birds squawking) In a way I'm glad it happened because there's so many opportunities that I've gotten just because of everything.

And the biggest thing is like the change of the person I am inside.

I would like to say that I'm fully recovered.

I can't do all the things that I used to be able to do the same way I used to do them, but I can still do them.

So for me that's a full recovery.

I can walk, I just have to have assistance.

The endurance is just probably something that will never return, and I've accepted that, and I'm totally okay with a life in a wheelchair, especially because I've gotten so much back.

(soft gentle music) For as long as I can remember, when everyone's telling me, like, hat do you wanna do when you grow up?

What do you wanna be?

I would always say I just wanna help people.

So maybe this is my calling, you know?

(soft gentle music) At the end of the day, I'm thankful and blessed and just happy to be here.

Like, literally however I am.

Wheelchair, walker, cane, crutch, I don't care, because I'm here and I'm still livin'.

(soft gentle music) At the beginning of my test I thought I couldn't make it through No But in the midst of my mess I never lost faith in you I can see the sun peekin' through the clouds You made a way and I don't know how I would be crazy to sit down here and frown When you're giving me so many reasons So many reasons to smile So many reasons to smile Oh, I haven't felt this way in awhile So full of happiness and joy Just like a little child And I would be crazy to sit down here and frown When you've given me so many reasons to smile Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh - God bless you and thanks for watching.

- This program is made possible by Children's Hospital New Orleans.

- This is what fighting for mental health looks like.

- All of life's hardships we think we have to deal with on our own when all it is is just talking to somebody.

- Five minutes of real talk every day, and let's fight for mental health.

- When life's moments get tough, you're not alone, and we are here to help.

Joe DiMaggio Children's Hospital.

Newport Healthcare, empowering lives and restoring families through mental health treatment programs for teens and young adults across the US.

Learn more at newporthealthcare.com.

The Charles E. Kubly Foundation, devoted to improving the lives of those with depression.

The Culley Strong Foundation, dedicated to supporting suicide prevention.

Additional funders include...