The Madame Blanc Mysteries

[ Birds chirping ] -[ Clears throat ] [ Exhales deeply ] [ Woman singing in French ] Finally.

[ Coughing ] [ Tires screeching ] [ Bicycle bell dings ] [ Woman laughing ] [ Woman speaking French ] [ Woman shouting in French ] [ Indistinct conversations ] -Take the hand brake off, son.

-Okay, Maman.

- Do you remember the first time That my eyes set on you?

Your smile came from nowhere For sometime never or sometime soon The road is a long one I was only passing through I was only passing through -I knew his family wouldn't turn up.

-So it was -- it was just you at the funeral?

-Yep.

Just me and the staff.

I should have been with him.

It wouldn't have happened if I'd have been with him.

-Mrs. White...

I've got something to tell you.

-Everything?

Gone?

-The shop will be repossessed imminently.

The contents need to be sold to pay your creditors.

-But he can't.

I'm co-signatory.

-He must have forged your signature.

-He never even signed a Christmas card.

-Mrs. White, I'm trying to get to the bottom of this.

How exactly did you run your business?

-Um... Can I -- Can I have another brandy?

Right.

Um... For about the last 10 years, Rory has done a buyer's trip to the south of France every couple of months or so.

T-There's a little town down there called Sainte Victoire.

And we discovered it by accident, actually, on holiday.

The -- The antiques markets, they're ridiculous.

Amazing stuff.

We even bought a little cottage down there.

when we first got married.

-Right.

-I'm not a great traveler, and, um, well, the business really took off over here, so I've not actually been back since.

-Okay, so Rory bought the antiques on his own?

-[ Chuckles ] You're joking, aren't you?

He couldn't tell a Cole from a Constable.

No.

Um...

It was all down to smartphones.

-Smartphones?

-I used to make him film everything before he bought it.

We were making money.

-Look, there -- there -- there is something, Mrs. White.

You are still in possession of the cottage in -- in Sainte Victoire.

-Oh.

That's something, I suppose.

What about his personal effects?

-Oh, well, that's everything that was found at the crash scene.

-[ Sniffles ] Where's the ring?

-Sorry?

-In this box, there was a very expensive ring.

-Like I said, th-that's everything the police found.

-This isn't right.

This isn't right.

-Look, I can have everything sent over.

-No.

It's okay.

I'm on my way.

[ Bell dings ] -Ladies and gentlemen, my name's Helen, and I'm your chief flight attendant this afternoon.

On behalf of Captain Benson and the entire crew, may I welcome you aboard this flight from Manchester to Le Ct du Fougres.

Once you've taken your seat, we'll be... -Bonjour?

-Parlez-vous anglais?

-Yeah.

-Um, could I book a taxi, please, to pick me up at Ct du Fougres Airport?

-When?

-Um, well, I land at 12:30, so about 1:00 p.m.?

-Name?

-Mrs. White.

Um, actually, just Jean.

-Sorted.

[ Dial tone ] [ Indistinct conversations ] -J'apporte toujours un th l'aprs-midi sur un vol, quelle que soit l'heure de la journe.

[ Laughs ] -Oh, I'm sorry, my French is a bit limited.

-Oh.

I said, "I always like to bring an afternoon tea on a flight, whatever time of day."

-[ Chuckles ] -Fab shades!

Barbara.

[ Chuckles ] -Oh.

Jean.

Thank you.

-You're welcome.

If you don't mind me saying so, Jean, you look like your thoughts could do with a change of scenery.

Here you go.

-Oh!

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

-[ Chuckles ] My guilty pleasure!

These bizarre people always [Sighs] take my mind off things.

-Great.

[ Overhead bin closes ] [ Bell dings ] -Ladies and gentlemen, we're starting our descent to Le Ct du Fougres Airport.

-And now I know where you live, we might even bump into one another.

[ Chuckles ] Here.

When you've got yourself settled in, give me a call.

-Oh!

Y-You sell houses?

-Yes, we do.

Are you thinking of selling?

-Yeah.

-Well, give me a call, then!

[ Chuckles ] -I will.

Oh, and thank you, Barbara.

Who knew that reading about ghosts who force-feed people's husbands meat patties... -[ Laughs ] -...would be so cathartic?

[ Laughs ] -You just never know what's around the corner.

[ Both laugh ] -Ugh, can you speak to this man?

I can't understand a word he is saying!

-Um, hello?

Qui est l'appareil?

-I want to know if they are still doing the offer on [Whispers] the colonic irrigation.

-Vous faites encore l'offre sur l'irrigation colique?

[ Women laughing ] -[ Laughs ] It isn't -- Not for me, of course.

I'm asking for a friend.

A-Adele, could you keep your voice down, please?

Oh, for heaven's sake!

Give that to me!

[ Stammers ] I don't know how they expect to run a business without speaking English.

Dominic!

Cooee!

-Judith!

Hello!

-Fancy meeting you here.

[ Chuckles ] -Bonjour.

-Bonjour.

-Oh, look at you, doing French!

Who are you waiting for, some lucky lady?

-Oh, yes.

-Oh, dear.

Terrible business, all that.

Are you picking up his mother?

-I guess so.

She's on the Manchester flight.

-Oh, so much to do when someone dies.

-Indeed there is, yeah.

-Poor woman.

You shouldn't have to bury your children.

When I lost my Tarquin, he was 13.

-I'm sorry.

I-I didn't know.

-Thank you.

Although I count my blessings.

There weren't many toy poodles who lived a life so privileged.

Oh, there he is!

[ Chuckles ] Oh, darling, over here!

Oh, darling, welcome home!

[ Smooches ] Welcome home, my angel!

[ Chuckles ] [ Both moaning ] Adele, be a darling and take Jeremy's luggage to the car.

-Oh, let me give you a hand.

-Oh, that's all right, Dominic.

She's a big, strong girl.

Aren't you, Adele?

-Oui, ma-- Oui, madam.

-Oh, terrible business!

Nice chap, Rory.

I bought a few pieces from him over the years.

Knew his stuff.

-Oh, hello.

I think you might be waiting for me.

I'm Mrs. White.

-Hello.

Oh, uh, are you -- Uh, hello.

Sorry.

Um, I thought you would be, um -- -Dominic was going to say he thought you would be much older.

-Oh, was he?

-Right.

Thanks.

I think.

-Uh, she's right, I was, but I meant it as a compliment.

-Our deepest condolences on your loss.

Always hard for us mums.

-Sorry?

-Your son, Rory.

-Rory was my husband, not my son.

-Of course.

[ Laughs nervously ] You look far too young to be his mother.

Yeah, I was going to ask the name of your surgeon.

-Again, thanks, I think.

Um, is it okay if we go?

-Yes, no, of course.

Yeah, let me grab your bags there.

-See you soon!

-And "mum" is not the word.

[ Both laugh ] -I'm glad you're here.

I didn't think you would show up.

Your firm has a very rude receptionist.

-Uh, I am the firm, and the receptionist is my daughter.

-Oh.

Oh, sorry.

-No, it's alright.

She's going through a very difficult age.

She has been for the last 10 years.

-Thank you.

[ Cellphone ringing ] -Oh, speak of the devil.

Mind if I take this?

-No, no, no.

-Coucou, Papa.

-What do you want?

-Can I take some money out of the float?

I'm at the end of my overdraft, but I promise I'll give it back.

-Back by the end of next week.

-Merci, Papa.

Love you.

-Love you, too.

[ Cellphone thuds ] [ Items clattering ] -Okay, it's the last time, Xav.

-Trust me.

How long have we known each other?

Would I ever let you down?

[ Chuckles ] Thank you.

-The furthest away star that's ever been seen is 9 billion light-years away.

I mean, pff, that is mind-blowing, isn't it?

I mean, the furthest away thing that I've ever photographed is in the Andromeda Galaxy, which is about 2.2 million light-years away, give or take a light-year.

-Right.

-Hmm.

So that -- that light was there before we were human, but it's so far away, it's only just hitting us now.

I mean, pff.

[ Chuckles ] Bonbons du voyage?

-Uh -- Uh, no -- no, thanks.

-It's amazing, though, isn't it?

-Sorry?

-Well, it's like a time capsule.

Wherever you look into the night sky, it's like a time machine.

-Yeah.

Yeah, right.

[ Birds chirping ] -I can't see you!

-Can't see straight, you mean.

-[ Laughing ] -[ Sighs ] -I'm gonna plant lots of stuff out here.

-[ Stifled laugh ] -For you!

Flowers.

Gorgeous as you.

-[ Laughing ] Yeah.

You can't even keep a cactus alive.

-[ Laughing ] -[ Chuckles, smooches ] -Hey, I don't have to carry you over the threshold, do I?

-Yeah, good luck with that.

-Right, come on!

-[ Shouts ] -Come on!

-No, no, no.

-Brace yourself, Rory!

[ Both laugh ] -No!

No, no, no.

Don't!

No!

[ Laughs ] -Mrs. White?

Mrs. White?

-Sorry?

-You okay?

-Yeah.

Miles away.

-Don't you mean billions of light-years away?

[ Laughs ] Oof!

Needs a bit of TLC, that door, I think.

-Oh, thanks.

[ Dominic grunts ] -And what do -- what do I owe you?

-Oh, just call it, uh, 20 euros.

-Really?

Are you sure?

-Yeah, I was -- I was out at the airport anyway, so... -Oh.

Thanks.

So, um, what was your name again?

-Oh, Dom.

Dom Hayes.

So, if you need anything at all, Mrs. White, just -- well, just give us a call.

-Oh, call me Jean.

-Oh, okay.

Well, bye, Jean.

- Stare at the moon, my love I'll be flyin' over soon Stare at the moon, my love I'll be flyin' over soon You're just a distant relative Left alone with sedatives You're just a distant relative But I still love you [ Birds chirping ] -Ecoutez Madame, il va falloir revenir demain.

-Je ne comprends pas.

-Vous devrez parler au gendarme Caron et il n'est pas disponible pour le moment.

-I'm so sorry.

I-I don't understand.

-[ Loudly ] Vous devrez parler au gendarme Caron et il n'est pas disponible pour le moment.

-Um, j-just one minute.

-[ Exhales deeply ] [ Indistinct conversations in distance ] -Oh, hello, Dom?

It's Jean White here.

Y-You dropped me off yesterday.

Hi.

I hope you don't mind me calling you.

Um, I just -- I wondered if you could do me a favor.

Um, could you call by the police station, please?

I'm getting a bit lost in translation.

Oh, hi!

-Hiya.

Uh, this is my daughter.

She's going to do the translating for us.

She's a little bit better than me.

-I'm supposed to be going out.

-Aw, thank you!

-What do you want me to say?

-I wanted to pick up my husband's personal effects from the accident.

His name is Mr. Rory White.

-Bonjour.

Elle veut les choses de son mari de l'accident.

Monsieur Rory White.

-Ah je vois, attendez-la un instant.

-Andre!

I thought you were still on holiday!

-We came home early.

My wife did not like the food.

-Oh.

Um, Jean, this is my good friend and local head of police, Gendarme Andre Caron.

-Bonjour, Monsieur.

-Bonjour, Jean.

Un plaisir de vous rencontrer.

Tout ami de Dominique est un de mes amis.

-[ Chuckles ] -Uh, he said any friend of my dad's is a friend of his.

-Oh, thanks.

Thank you.

-Would it be easier if I spoke English for you?

-Oh, yes, please.

I'm a little rusty.

-Not at all.

-Is that it?

Can I go?

-Yes.

-Shall we go through?

-Oh, yes, thank you.

-I'll be in the car if you need a lift.

-Dom?

Um... Would you come through with me?

Uh, yeah, sure, sure.

-Here are your husband's effects, Mrs. White.

-Right.

Um... Where is it?

-Everything we found is in the bag.

-There was a very, very expensive ring in this box, and now it's not here.

He sent me this just before the crash.

-I'm bringing it home to you, my darling.

-Everything that was found at the scene of the crash, in the van or on your husband's person, is in that bag, Mrs. White.

There was nothing else.

-I-I don't think you understand.

S-Somebody must -- must have taken it.

I-I'm not entirely sure this was an accident.

-There was no sign of foul play.

Mrs. White, I cannot imagine how hard it is for you.

You must not blame yourself for not being with your husband as you usually were.

-Sorry?

-You could help being out of the country for once.

-For once?

I've not been in this country for 10 years.

-But my wife bought a Rolex watch from you last week for my son's 21st.

Here it is.

With the proof of purchase that you have signed.

-This is one of the worst fakes I've ever seen.

The Cyclops lens is too small.

There's no crown on the dial, and... ...and the name "Rolex" is printed.

It's not even engraved.

-Fake?

W-What do you mean, fake?

-I've seen better copies on Tommyfield Market.

-Where?

-Firstly...

I would never morally sell tat like that.

And secondly... that, categorically, is not my signature.

-Well, that is impossible.

There -- There can't be two Mrs.

Whites.

-Um, Jean, we sometimes saw Rory with a woman here.

She kept herself to herself, never came to the pub or anything, but I think we just presumed it was his wife.

That's why there was that confusion at the airport.

[ Dog barking ] [ Xavier shouting in French ] -You alright, Xav?

At least we shouted in each other's faces at that age.

-[ Chuckles ] -Have you eaten?

-Uh, no.

-You must be famished.

Come on.

Just to warn you, news travels fast 'round here.

-Right.

[ Indistinct conversations ] -Take a deep breath.

[ Conversations stop ] -Hello, Dom!

-Hey.

-Sorry.

Are you Celine Frederique from "Hey!

Hey!

Hey" Eurovision Song Contest, 1995?

-Yes!

-I'm -- I'm -- I'm such a big fan.

Eurovision is a passion of mine.

And they shout, "hey, hey, hey" - What a nice day for the sun to shine And me to say but forever and a day I feel that way 'cause I love you -[ Laughs ] -Oh, well, let me get you some drinks -- on the house for a fan.

-Oh, um, just some sparkling water.

-Yeah.

-Right.

Sparkling water it is.

I'll bring the menus over.

We do a lovely croque monsieur.

[ Both laugh ] -What?

-I am very disappointed in you, Jean.

A fan of Eurovision?

-Rory used to say that, as well.

-Sorry.

-Oh, where is it?

-What?

-The ring.

I-It just doesn't make sense.

You've seen the video.

-Yeah.

-Well, he sent that just half an hour before he died.

-How can you know that?

-The police, um, told me his approximate time of death.

-Okay.

-Niall, darling, could I take a bottle of good white?

Fortnum & Mason left us a bottle short in the hamper this week.

Did you hear about Rory?

Two wives.

We thought she was his mother, but, you know, she did look just a little bit too young.

I mean, we all know his antiques were fake, but a fake wife, as well?

-[ Speaking French ] -[ Laughs ] Be easier if she came with subtitles!

-I think she's trying to tell you you're about to get a parking ticket, Judith.

-I've just lost my appetite.

-Where did my number-one fan go?

-[ Sighs ] She's right, though, isn't she?

-Who?

-Plum-In-Her-Mouth Almighty.

Rory did have another woman.

-Um...

So it would appear, yeah, yeah.

-Oh, I'm sorry, Dom.

I hardly know you, and you're ferrying me from one crisis to the next.

-It's fine.

Let's find that ring.

This village does not keep secrets very well.

-Thanks, Dom.

It's all I've got now.

How has nobody decked her yet?

-[ Laughs ] -[ Sighs ] Do you smoke?

-No.

-Neither do I.

No.

[ Bell chimes ] -Hang on a minute.

Keep them in there as a deterrent.

Okay.

Oh.

-Oh.

[ Chuckles ] It's alright.

The urge has passed now.

-Yeah.

-[ Sighs ] Right.

So we definitely know that the ring was in that box half an hour before the accident.

-Well, it must have fallen out the box during the crash.

-Yeah, and somebody's nicked it.

-Is it worth a lot of money?

-Oh, you've no idea.

But I think it's more than that now.

I know it sounds crazy... ...but I think that someone murdered Rory for it.

I-I'm sure of it.

-Look, I-I don't mean to be insensitive, but... aren't you being a little bit dramatic?

-No.

I'm not.

-Okay.

Listen, why don't we go back to the pub and get you something to eat?

-No, I don't need placating, Dom.

I just need to find the person who's got the ring.

-Okay.

Can I give you a lift back?

-It's alright.

Um...I'll -- I'll walk.

[ Engine starts ] -Oh, Madeleine!

You drive me crazy.

Hi, Glo.

Me again.

That red light's come back on.

-No worries.

Bring her over later and I'll sort her out for the morning.

-Oh, thanks, mate.

-You'll have to buy a new car one day, Dom.

-Never.

-[ Laughs ] -Thanks, Glo.

-Cheers, love.

- Sweetheart, you really got me spinning around In a world called sorry Sweetheart, you really got me holding on To what went wrong, my love [ Knock on door ] -Thanks for coming, Dom.

Look, I know you think I'm mad, but if you give me a chance, I can prove that somebody killed my husband.

-Good morning to you, too.

-Oh.

S-Sorry.

Morning.

-You don't have to prove anything to me, Jean, okay?

I'm here to help.

-Thanks, Dom.

-Right, your carriage awaits.

-Uh... -Yeah, Madeleine's not been well.

-Who's Madeleine?

-My car.

I've got to go and get her from the garage, so we're going to have to use Fleur.

-Who's Fleur?

-Are you having a laugh?

Fleur?

[ Bicycle bell rings ] -Jump on.

Get your hands off my Madeleine's undercarriage!

-[ Laughs ] It was only a loose wire.

I've just finished.

-Oh, brilliant.

Thanks, mate.

-Gloria, this is Jean.

Jean, this is Gloria.

-Hiya.

-Hi.

-Oh!

Sir Douglas of Dogsville!

How the hell are you?

-Aw.

-Hello.

Hey, Xav.

-Uh, I have to take this call.

Douglas.

-Uh, Jean was Rory's wife.

-Oh, so sorry to hear about Rory.

It was only when I turned up to tow the van I realized it was him.

-The van?

-Yeah.

-C-Can I have a look?

-Yeah.

Yeah, give us a hand, Dom.

-Yeah, sure.

-Uh, the police have run the forensics, and I've finished the diagnostics.

-That's not right.

-What?

-Rory smoked cheroots.

-Maybe he just fancied a change.

-What?

After 25 years?

Look, the ashtray's empty, look.

-Right, yeah.

-Whoever smoked this was in the van with him, and whoever that was has murdered him for the ring.

-Murdered?

-If you wanted to flog something really valuable 'round here, where would you go?

-Pawnbroker.

-Yeah, who -- who's the local one?

-Charlie Brodeur.

-Charlie Brodeur.

[ Bell jingles ] -Ah, Monsieur Hayes.

It's good to see you.

And you are?

-Um, Mrs. White.

Jean White.

-Um, my sincerest condolences about Rory.

He was a good man.

-Thank you.

Um, I'm here about a ring.

Has anyone tried to sell you a ring recently?

It's, um, a red stone?

-No.

I'm afraid we very rarely deal in jewelry, Madame White.

We find there are too many fakes.

-I received an e-mail about a ring.

This one.

Someone asked through the website if we would like to buy it, but it was clearly paste, so... -Why didn't you tell me?

-That's it.

That's it.

That's my ring.

-Uh, can you give us that e-mail address?

-Oui, bien sr.

-Um...I wish you good luck in finding it, and if you need any further help, please don't hesitate to ask.

-Thank you.

-We've all been fooled by French paste, madame.

[ Bell jingles ] -I know it's not a fake.

You can tell by the saturation of the stone alone.

-Do you mind if we swing by the chteau on the way back to yours?

They've got a problem with some blocked drains.

-Well, that's an offer I can't refuse.

-Ah, here he is!

-Oh, Dominic!

It is so lovely to see you.

-Hi.

Oh.

[ Jeremy laughs ] -It seems you've been called out for no reason.

The blockage was caused by leaves in the drain.

Everything's flowing freely now that Adele has cleared it.

-Ah.

So all sorted, then?

-Have we inconvenienced you, Dominic?

-No, no, no, not at all.

Not at all.

-Mrs. White.

Um, I hear you're a bit of an expert.

Now, I've got a little something I'd like to show you.

-And little it is!

[ Laughter ] -Come on, you two.

-I'm so sorry.

-I wonder if you could settle a little discussion we've been having.

-Oh, for goodness' sake, Jeremy!

I have told you, they are silver-plate, my darling.

-If you don't mind.

-Of course, let me see.

-I think they're rather special.

-And I know they are tat.

-Uh, Judith is right.

They're silver-plated.

-Oh, um... thank you, Adele.

-Monsieur.

-I knew it.

I can spot a fake a mile off.

In fact, only this morning I had some youth trying to sell me a piece of tat, swearing it was a ruby, but it was so glaringly a cheap bauble.

-Um...what did this youth look like?

-Why, did he try to sell it to you, too?

-He?

-Yes, he works at the garage.

I told him to stick to what he knows.

-Gendarme Caron.

I-I know my husband's crash was not an accident.

Can you meet me at Gloria's Garage?

-Hey.

You okay?

-Is Xav here?

-Yeah, he's upstairs.

-Can you give him a shout for us?

-Xav, can you come down here a minute?

-Yeah?

-Dom wants a word.

-Yeah.

-Well, it's not me that needs a word.

-I think you have something that belongs to me.

-Oh.

[ Door opens ] -Xavier, what have you done?

-I'm so sorry, Maman.

-You tampered with his van, didn't you?

-Now, hang on a minute.

My son might be -- -No, no, no, no.

You've got it all wrong.

I didn't tamper with the van.

-You knew Rory had the ring, though.

-Rory asked me to check the van over.

-You hiding something important, Xav?

-No.

Not important.

-Do you want to see what I've been hiding?

She's a beauty, isn't she?

And if I'm right, she's priceless.

I'm taking her home.

That's why I need you to give the van a good once-over before I set off, alright?

-Yeah.

-And that's just what you did, didn't you?

You fixed it so he would crash so you could get your hands on the ring.

-No, you're wrong!

-I found your cigarette in his ashtray.

You were in that van just before he set off.

-I was not.

I found the ring when we were at the crash site.

Maman, I swear, I didn't tamper with the van.

-Oh, Xav.

-I'm so sorry.

-How much do you owe this time?

-20,000 euros.

-But how?!

You're barred from every betting shop in the county.

-I thought I could pay off my poker debt.

-What poker debt?

-It just built up again, and virtual chips didn't seem like real money, and... it just piled, and I panicked.

-Where is the ring now?

[ Rattling ] -I'm so sorry.

-I'm sorry, Mrs. White, but this is evidence.

-Dom, please tell him.

Dom, please, tell him!

[ Gearshift clicks ] [ Seat belt clicks ] [ Both sigh ] -The more I get to know, the more I realize I didn't know my husband at all.

-[ Sighs ] What a day.

[ Compartment opens ] -How long since you've given up?

-Three years, four days, three months, six hours, and... 23 minutes.

-Mine's 10 years, two months exactly.

-How much is that ring worth, then?

-It's a Burmese cushion cut ruby set in 18-karat yellow gold with surrounding diamonds with additional diamonds set in a platinum band.

-I have no idea what you just said, but that sounds expensive.

-75,000.

-Seriously?

How can you be so sure?

-That's just it.

I'm not sure.

It could be something completely different.

-What, like, worthless or... -Oh, no.

It could be a Burmese pigeon's blood ruby -- very, very rare due to the diminishing mines they come from.

Worth between 8 million to 12 million.

Either way, finally he lands a winner and... -Oh, shall we light that fag?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Oh.

-I've got a lighter.

Well, it's Rory's lighter.

-Oh, no, no, no, no, no, it's not the same if we smoke it indoors, is it?

-It's a fag, not a joint.

[ Clicking ] I think it needs a flint.

Where's your gas control valve?

No wonder you're empty.

[ Sniffs ] -Oh.

Are you alright?

-It smells of almonds.

-What?

-The lighter.

It smells of almonds.

-I can't -- I can't smell anything.

-Not everyone can smell cyanide.

Open the door.

-What?

What's going on?

[ Water running ] -The lighter.

He was killed by the lighter.

-How?

-Somebody put cyanide gas instead of butane gas in my husband's lighter.

It was the lighter that was tampered with, not the van.

[ Knock on door ] -I'll go.

Um... These were on the doorstep.

Bluebells.

-No.

They're monkshood.

Poisonous.

They mean danger.

[ Exhales deeply ] [ Gasps ] It's the gas control valve.

"So my darling Rory finally made his choice and was bringing my ring home to you."

"It's such a shame that smoking kills, isn't it, Mrs.

White?"

The other woman.

She killed him.

She killed my husband.

[ Gloria speaks indistinctly ] -Come on, let's get you home.

-We are sending it to forensics to find out everything we can.

The minute we have results, you will know.

[ Gearshift clicks ] -Thanks.

Thank you.

-I'm bringing it home to you, my darling.

[ Sizzling ]