JOE 238

(Jess crying) - He still loves ya.

- It sounds, it sounds strong.

Sounds good.

(no audio) (no audio) (soft music) My son, Joe, he was my helper.

I don't care what I was doing.

If I was working in the yard, if I was building something, he was right there, always by my side.

- Every time I call him, you know, I'd say, "What are you doing?

"Oh, I'm helping a friend out."

That's how life is, you know, is to help others."

- We played all four years together, football.

Well, we weren't no football stars, I'll tell you that.

But it was fun.

So he was the class president, I was vice president.

Because I was a friend, he asked me to do it, you know?

(laughing) - I miss our friendship.

You know, I could tell him anything.

- [Theresa] He used to talk to Joe about his problems all the time.

They all were so close together, almost like brothers.

(soft music continues) - Joe and I met at the grocery store that we worked at together, and he would come in on his days off.

- [Theresa] And when he fell in love, he fell in love.

That was his true love.

I think it was hers, too.

- What attracted me to Joe was his persistence.

(laughing) He just seemed like a really good guy.

And he didn't give up trying to ask me out.

- She was a very strong woman in a lot of ways.

You would never really see them argue, you'd see them kind of bicker every now and then, but you can kind of see that Becca was in charge, not necessarily Joe, but they were a great couple.

- Joe proposed to me on Christmas '99, and it was a total surprise.

(Rebecca gasps) Is this it?

- That's it, that's it right there you found it!

You're the best thing that's happened to me, I just love you so much.

Will you marry me?

- When?

- Will you?

- Yes!

- Oh, he even planned a big wedding, let me tell you.

I don't know how many people he was gonna invite, I said, "I hope you could afford it!"

He said, "Mom, it's going to be big."

- It's like Joe had our whole future planned.

- This is our new truck, Joe!

- [Joe] Let me go around.

- Here's the inside, Here's me driving it.

Back seat for the kids!

He wanted to have, like a little family restaurant or bakery or, he didn't care what it was as long as it was just like family working together.

- I was a proud peacock with my son that's going to be a police officer.

- He, from a very young age, very, very young, was always into the guns.

And he was always like trying to be the person who caught the bad guy.

- I explained to him what I wanted to do and he said, "Well, let me help you out."

So he kind of took me under his wing.

Joe, actually, he was the pioneer for our group to try to get into law enforcement.

- He caught my attention as a recruit in the academy.

He was going to be, literally, a poster child for the police department.

- My greatest memory of Joe is in the academy when we had our OC and teargas day because they want to make sure that you can defend yourself and defend your gun and take somebody into custody, should somebody attack you.

They want you to get the full effect.

And then we'd have to fight the bag for a minute and then we'd have to ground wrestle our partners who were going to attack us and try to take our guns.

Then we could go downstairs and rinse off.

And they had, you know, giant fans and this water trough, and I just remember Joe walks up to the camera and says.

- It doesn't really burn that much.

I've had chili that was hotter.

I don't know what kind of OC that was, it might have been mild but-- - [Cameraman] Wasn't Cajun?

- I didn't feel the pepper.

I feel fine.

- Only Joe wasn't fazed, you know, he was just calm and good in the academy and, you know, you could tell he was going to be a great cop.

- He donated blood, like every eight weeks, like, all the time.

He got me and Jesus to go one time.

I passed out, and then I never heard the end of it.

I mean, even as a kids, you know, he talked about donating his body, like what 14, 15 year old kid talks about that?

- He only had like two weeks left in the academy.

And he says if anything happened to him out on the street, he wants to donate his organs.

- He said, "Mom, I want to save someone else's life.

You know, I won't be around, but at least part of me will be out there."

And he said, "You know what?

I'm going to go talk to dad."

Before he went I told him, "He's going to give you a hard time."

- The first thing that came to my mind is, oh my God, he could leave this world before me and I can't, I can't agree to that.

And he turned around and he kind of gave me a half a smile.

He goes, "You may say no right now, but I know you'll do the right thing."

"Besides," he goes, "I talked to Mom, and mom said was okay."

I said, "I love you and the whole family, but you guys are 49%.

I'm 51%.

The answer is no, it's not going to happen."

- And I said, "Bye, be careful.

Come back to me."

I always said that.

And I went to work, and so did he.

- We had recovered a stolen vehicle when we ended up locating that subject by the railroad tracks.

- He just dropped.

He had collapsed before the guy even got in the car.

The suspect, of course, he is handcuffed at this point, but he didn't run, or didn't do anything other than try to help him.

- You know, I've been a cop for quite a few years when that happened, but I'd never experienced anything like that.

We did everything we could to help save Joe, but it just wasn't enough.

(siren wailing) - They called me at work and they said, "Hi, is this Rebecca?"

And I said, "Yes."

And they said, "Joe suffered a seizure today and he's unresponsive at the hospital.

Do you need somebody to come get you?"

And I said, "No, I'm fine, I can drive.

But what do you mean?"

- And we were just about getting ready to eat when the phone rang.

And it was the chief of police.

And all I could hear from Teresa was, "No, no, not Joe."

And I grabbed that phone.

I said, thinking like, who's who's calling at this time?

Well, we're having a nice day.

And he goes, I'm sorry to tell you that something happened to your son.

- I flew to UC Davis.

There were officers everywhere.

And then his whole family was there.

And so I was, I was just like, this is something really bad.

- I got there, I saw Gordon.

A bunch of other academy mates, I'm thinking, this is not good.

Then they kind of, kind of told us news.

We went into the back.

Sorry.

- I slid on my brakes, come in sideways.

I kicked open the door.

I couldn't get out of the car fast enough.

They put us in this little room and the doctors' telling us "We believe your son has an aneurism."

- I was in the room with the family when the doctors came in to say, "We really don't know right at this time.

We are not going to give up.

We're going to give Joe everything we can."

- And I got there and held his hand and was just like, "No, no, no, you're not going nowhere.

Wake up."

And it's like he squeezed a little bit or something, but um, that was it.

That was it.

- 24 hours comes, comes up and we're, we're asked to go to the little office again.

And with a lot of love and compassion, Tim, with the organ procurement organization, he asks us if we want to donate our son's organs.

(slow piano music) All of a sudden I get a little flashback of the conversation we had about becoming a donor.

I said "God, what do I do?"

No sooner I got the words out, God gave me an answer.

God told me if I honored my son, I'd be honoring Him.

Teresa was probably about five or six feet from me.

Her head was down like she was in shame.

The doctors started going down the list of, "Do you want to donate his his heart?"

And I said, "Yes," I could see Teresa's body shaking.

She shook and her head came up, and I could see a half a smile with tears running down her cheek, and I could read her lips, as she's telling me, "Thank you for honoring our son."

- You don't get a second chance.

You have to do what your heart says.

But you also have to think about your son, and what his heart said.

- We went, um, to the back to uh, say goodbye to him and that was a pretty tough, a pretty tough thing to do.

Because he was just a strong, strong person and just a strong personality.

And it really hurt a lot of us.

So, it still, it still affects me today.

- [Rebecca] We knew that at midnight that was it.

And they were gonna take his parts.

I had the most amazing dream of him that he came and slept with me and held me so tight, all night.

And it was real to me.

I know it was real.

(children's choir singing) Integrity And justice With tenderness You shall know - [Arturo Vegenas] He's not really gone.

In your heart and in your mind, you have windows to the memories that Joe left us.

Open it up, remember him and cherish him.

How long have I waited for your touch - I was just absolutely just blown away.

Joe, you're my hero.

I love you, son.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound - They had the honor guard lined up with their horses out front.

They had police officers standing in a straight line.

They had the motorcycles.

That was so touching.

But now I'm found Was blind, but now I see - [Rebecca] It was the worst day of my life, for sure.

(gentle music) - A lot of that is fog to me.

I felt like I had to control myself.

I didn't want to break down.

And I'd come home and just bury my face into my pillow and cry my little heart out.

I thought about committing suicide.

I went out and I got Joe's gun right here.

I couldn't, or didn't wanna, handle the pain anymore.

But I said, "God, if you're here with me, I need to know your presence."

Just when I grabbed the gun again, a little knock on my door and it happened to be Frank Russell, the chaplain of Sacramento.

- At the time, I thought it was just a simple and courtesy follow up visit.

A call to say hello to a grieving dad and mom.

- The main thing that anybody, that anybody can ever do to help another human being is just to listen, be an ear to that person.

Let whatever is on the person's chest, let them get it off their chest.

I can't even remember what we even talked about, but all I know is the feelings I had to kill myself went away.

- You talk about what leads up to that darkness, that loss of hope, self-worth, self-worth.

We lose that significance of who we are, our identity.

So we look for a new significance to give our life value.

- I was mad.

I don't know who I was mad at.

Can I say I was mad at God?

No.

Can I say I was mad at my son for not I letting me know when he was feeling poorly.

Who, who can I, who can I blame?

Nobody!

- You can get angry.

But anger is a secondary emotion, what can be a primary emotion would be loss.

What started it?

Because I experienced such great fear, or I experienced such great loss.

Or I experienced some great injustice, that's why I'm angry.

You see?

Anger is that secondary emotion.

How can you reframe that into something very positive?

You see, there's a time for that, just like Jess Chairez.

There was a time that was right for him to grieve, to begin that journey.

But then there was a time for him to say, I'm going to step out of this, take off this cloak, and I'm going to put on a new cloak that gives my life purpose.

(gentle music) - I knew in my heart I had so many people to thank.

And I went back to the fire department.

I went back to the ambulance.

I thanked all these doctors for doing everything in their power of saving our son.

And to this day, I have still people to thank.

It took me about seven months to recover.

I tried going back to work, but I couldn't take it.

So Theresa and I, we took off from Sacramento and drove all the way to San Diego, and we stopped in as many police departments and sheriff's departments and thanked them for participate in our son's funeral.

Not knowing if they were there or even if that department was there, it didn't matter.

And by thanking them, they would give us the patches.

And so we went from here to San Diego, from here to the Oregon border, from here to Nevada, and from here to San Francisco.

When I meet people and they're from New York or Washington or wherever.

I always tell them to go back home and tell your sheriff thank you for me.

And then they would mail me one of their patches.

So throughout the years, I received a lot of patches.

One day, God gave me a dream and He told me that they needed to be displayed.

And He showed me a piece of cloth.

Well, this piece of cloth that I seen in my dream was a quilt.

I used to go to different churches for different groups, sewing groups to see if they could make me a quilt.

But, you know, God works in in mysterious ways.

I ran across my wife's uncle that's been retired for a while.

He says he's at a senior citizens place learning how to do upholstery work.

And as we're talking, he says, "Well, you know what?"

He goes, "There," he goes, "If you want to learn how to make a dress, they'll teach you."

Soon as he said that, my ears widened up.

I says, "Man, sign me up."

Within three days, I was in the class learning how to use a sewing machine, and I thought I was going to make my hands into mittens.

I thought it was sew 'em together.

It took me a year to learn how to sew, and make my first quilt.

My first quilt was sent off to Washington, D.C., to the police memorial over there.

And that quilt has been all over the United States.

(upbeat music) I had to convert my garage into my sewing room.

I'm probably about the only male that you know that has a sewing room.

But you know what, though?

I'm really proud to say this is my sewing room.

Not my wife's, this is mine.

- [Theresa] It's really healing for Jess.

He was crying sometimes, you know, doing the quilt.

And then he said, "This is for our son."

I said, "Yeah, that is."

(slow piano music) - I had a dream that me and him were driving in the car.

And it was such a clear conversation and and I was like, "Why did this happen to you?"

And he was like, "I didn't want to go, but I had to.

I had to go."

It's been 12 years, but I feel like time froze right there.

When he was gone, it was just like, now what?

Perfect life.

He would have had the perfect life.

I don't think his parents gave me credit for my loss, you know?

And it's like everybody moved on, but I didn't.

Everybody still had somebody to go home with and in bed at night.

But I didn't.

- Because she was the fianc, she was kind of pushed on the side, everything was given to the family.

She really got nothing, not recognition, not things.

She was just the fianc.

Had she been the wife, she would have gotten everything and the parents would have been cast on the side.

It's just the way that is.

- I don't want the whole world to know that I lost Joe.

I feel like Joe's parents, they're still kind of hanging on, and they don't want anybody to forget that they lost their son.

But I feel like we all, the whole world, lost a great person.

Not I lost him or they lost him or his friends lost him or we lost a great cop.

I feel like the whole world lost a great person.

You can't be ready in a month because a doctor said you should be ready or your coworker thinks you're, you're better now because it's been three months.

"Welcome back to work, you got this, right?

You're over it now, right?"

You just, you have to expect that because people just don't know.

People are that stupid.

They don't know that they're really, like, totally saying the wrong thing.

After he passed away, his friends would bring me flowers.

They were like, "Somebody has to bring you flowers."

Joe brought me flowers all the time.

I was real close to all the guys for a long time.

That just was what we all needed.

It was hard to hear it from my friends that you're getting a little weird now.

Take down your hundred pictures, pick your favorite ones, and take the rest down.

You know, it's like some of that stuff you just you're not ready to hear, but you need to hear it.

So you don't get stuck in those places.

So you don't get stuck in, like, making a shrine out of your loved one or living at the cemetery like I did for a while.

Or you need people to tell you, "Hey, keep turning with the rest of the world.

Come with me.

You might learn something new.

You might have fun.

Just try it!"

You have to learn when it's good for you to kind of just get back in the world and decide what you want to bring with it.

Losing Joe, yeah, life is short.

Life is short.

- [Rebecca's Grandpa] Oh, boy.

- That's pretty, yeah.

- [Rebecca] Engagement ring!

- Oh, you, no, really?!

- Yeah!

- About time!

(all laughing) - Look, Pa!

How I felt on the inside, wasn't how my friends and my parents and people who love me saw me.

I saw myself like that.

Heartbroken and different, and alone, and damaged goods, and flawed, and cheated.

And I felt all these things all the time.

- The people that love you the most are the ones that want you to get over it the fastest.

They don't understand why months and years have gone by and and you're still there talking about this loved one.

Grief shared is grief divided, love shared is love multiplied.

When someone dies, you need both.

You need to divide your grief with others that are grieving, completely different ways of grieving, completely different relationships, but getting that strength from one another.

And then the love that you show one another because they're grieving different than you, just multiplies.

(upbeat music) - The Red Cross, they allow me to go out there and help people.

Because people came to my aid when I was at my lowest.

And that's what I want to do is give back.

- When people come through the door, they're usually mildly interested and they kind of want to learn a little bit more about the Red Cross.

But Jess was pretty much ready from the very get go to just dive in headfirst.

- I'll stay out there and make sure everybody's fed and everybody's needs are met.

If it means that you're working a little longer, That's, I'll do that.

I'll do whatever it takes.

Yeah, I'm coming Bill!

(soft music) - In southern Illinois, the Mississippi River was flooding.

And so we got deployed there.

We found out during that trip that Jess was scared to death of snakes.

There was a lot of snakes around because everything was flooded.

Jess was just freaking out from it.

He wouldn't get out of the out of the ERV at all.

He wouldn't come out and look at anything.

So I went to Walmart and bought some rubber snakes.

One day we were going through the trailer park then, and so I was waiting for, while he was walking back, sloshing through the water there and I got out and reached down and there.

"Jess, look out, a snake!"

and I threw a snake.

We never let him forget about it.

- I just do what I'm told.

When they tell me to jump, I just say, "How high?"

- And he wears a hat with Joe's badge number 238 and mine was 232.

But for some reason people say, what's up with Joe 238?

And he says, "Oh, I'm glad you asked that."

And he just goes on and he explains his story to him.

Every time he tells the story, he still gets emotional.

And understandably.

You know, you can't help but feel for the guy and people just gravitate to him.

- You know, it's been 18 years for you, and it might be too late to try to find out who has your husband's organs.

But you know what, though?

We're going to try.

Even if you don't meet them, you can meet other recipients.

And I we talked about a little girl, Lacy, that when she was 18 months old, she received a heart, and here she is, 26 years old.

Meeting people like that is, like you said-- - Inspiration!

- Is the healing to the heart.

They're the glue that's holding us together.

- Nobody understands.

- Oh, I do.

God does.

This is what I'm saying.

God's using us to help each other.

- You know, my family don't even understand how hard it is.

- Oh, I know that.

- Because they never went through it.

- That's right.

I'm so, I'm so happy we got to meet today, of all places, working for the Red Cross.

- I don't know how long Jess can keep doing what he does, but he shows no indication of slowing down at all, which I think is pretty admirable.

(soft music) - Yesterday I met a group of people.

They lost everything.

But anyway, we were able to talk to them and comfort them and give them the hugs and, and then they always wanted to know about my son, Joe, because they always see me wearing my hat, Joe 238.

And I tell them stories and I not meaning to, made them cry, but they felt my pain and I felt theirs.

And I tell you, that's what it's all about for me.

My little cards.

I always take them with me because I never know who I'm gonna run across.

If somebody wants to know about my son.

- Growing up, you know, I always had a tenuous relationship with my own father.

And to see the love and the devotion that that he had for his son, is, it takes my breath away.

And I think we would all be lucky to have a father like him.

(soft music) - We do get our significance for sharing people's legacy.

That's good.

But are we moving forward or are we stuck in that?

That's the only purpose in our life now.

- And like my boyfriend that I have now, he's amazing.

He's awesome.

He's everything to me.

But he knows that if Joe was here, he wouldn't be.

He really wants to get married and I really don't.

I don't want kids.

Now that Joe's gone, I don't want any kids.

I don't want anybody's kids.

I just, my life was supposed to go a different way.

(gentle music) He came to me in a dream and I asked him, "What do I do with all your stuff?

your car and your things and all these things we have?"

And he was like, "It's just stuff."

And that to me was like, oh, what a relief.

We met the man that received Joe's heart, real nice man, and it was just kind of weird.

That's Joe's heart in there.

It's just kind of a trip.

I don't want to say resentful, but I kind of am.

I'm still suffering, so it's kind of hard to see somebody that's like, "Look how I'm doing", you know and I don't know.

- So when I went to Disney Land the year he passed away, I bought a Mickey Mouse keychain and I kept it inside my purse, never look at it, never seen it.

And I was at a soccer game to go see my grandkids.

My granddaughter was sitting down playing with the Mickey Mouse, and she said, "Grandma," and I said, "What?"

"Did you see the bottom of Mickey Mouse's shoes?"

I said, "No,", "Look at it."

And I look at it, it had the number 238.

I just couldn't believe it.

It blew me away.

I told my husband, "Look, it's his badge number!"

(laughing) He was with me!

- We have the power in a split second to think of a memory that makes our heart smile about this loved one.

And immediately we've reframed that sadness and we now have pure joy.

Maybe not happiness, but pure joy because of this person and who they are in our life.

- You see the number 238 is to me, it's that slight moment where Joe comes back in to mind.

- At McDonald's, that's my number.

If I go see a doctor, they're in suite number 238.

We just bought a new truck and it's on the license plate.

It's everywhere.

The quilt and the room and the Joe Shrine and the, the uniform that he passed away in, you know, they cut that off of him.

And Joe's dad sewed the uniform back together and, like, hung it up or I forget what he did with it.

I didn't want that.

I don't want that cut up uniform that way.

So you see what I mean?

It's like they're holding on to every little thing, and I feel like I don't need to.

- People are going to do things that help their heart heal.

And so for one person, it might be pack up the house and move away.

The memories are too painful.

It might be for somebody else to almost make a shrine out of a bedroom.

It's okay too.

You see, if it's healthy grief, it's good grief.

But if it's unhealthy, if you start pushing people away, if you start getting physically sick because grief takes over the whole body, if things are happening that are not positive in your life anymore, then you're not really honoring that person's life, nor are you allowing yourself to live.

- It took someone who loved me that I really listened to to say, "Hey, why don't you come to dancing with me, come to dance classes.

Just come.

What's the worst that can happen?

You'll meet people, you'll learn to dance.

You'll have fun.

Just try it.

You don't got to get to know anybody, You don't got to share your story or tell people what you've been through, nobody cares about none of that, everybody's there to dance."

And she was right.

I didn't have bring any of that with me.

I didn't have to feel the loss.

If anything, it just distracted me for a while out of my life and that dark, sad mood that I was always in.

I got to go dance for three hours.

They were all a bunch of old people, they didn't know anything about me.

I didn't get to know them, they didn't get to know me.

I didn't know any of their names.

I would just dance with them!

Ballroom, the waltz, the tango, salsa, swing, just dancing and having fun, learning stuff, getting my feet stepped on.

(slow piano music) I can't make excuses for who I am and how I am now, a little reckless.

And, you know, I ride Harleys.

- [Theresa] She did a lot of things of her own.

She said she went to a school for motorcycles.

She said, "Joe didn't let me, but now, I'm gonna ride me a motorcycle!"

I said, "Okay, You know, just be careful!"

She said, "I'll be okay, mom."

she calls us mom, "I'll be alright, mom."

I said, "I hope so."

- If you think about it and you want to do it, do it.

You only get one time on this ride.

So, no regrets, you know?

(gentle music continues) (upbeat music) - [Jess] Thank you very much.

High fives!

- Alright!

- Thank you.

Okay, let's go and find our party.

(upbeat music continues) (people chattering) Oh, oh, God bless you.

(upbeat music continues) (people chattering) Hey, can you fan me?

Man, it's hot in here.

Oh, thank you.

Bless you.

Here, let me give you a pin for doing that one there.

- Hey, yeah.

- So now, who are all these people right here?

- This is my daughter and grandchildren I lost in a car wreck, and my daughter was able to donate.

- Oh, my goodness gracious.

- Over five years ago, And when I heard her heartbeat in another person, it changed my life forever.

- See, that's exactly what happened to me.

I got to put my head against the person's chest and oh, my God, it just-- - It's a miracle, isn't it.

- There's no really words that can explain how we feel it just, oh, my God, God gave that opportunity.

You know what?

Recipients think that they had a second chance in life.

But you know what?

That gives us a rejuvenation.

Oh, oh, - Oh, yes.

- I lost my daughter-- - A year to the day.

- Oh, my gosh.

- That's how we met.

- Now they're best friends.

- Oh, oh, my.

I'm just, I'm sorry to hear about your loss, too.

- But you know what?

What you said is this gave us life.

- Yes, exactly.

- Exactly.

- Is that your son?

- It was my son, yeah.

- This is my son.

- How old was he?

- 24, and your baby?

- 18, but it's been ten years.

- [Jess] Well mine's been, mine's been almost 14.

- Oh.

- So, so, so.

- Man, you're closer than I am to get to see him again, aren't you?

It's only temporary!

- That's the way I look at it.

That's exactly the way I see it.

I thought I was the only one.

- yeah.

- Well, the Transplant Games consists of a festival style sports competition where there's 18 sports.

We bring in not only organ, corneal, and tissue transplant recipients, but also donor families and living donors in a celebration of organ donation and transplantation.

But it's also almost a family reunion to, to honor the donors, to honor the recipients, to show the world how great life is because of the the gift of life.

(upbeat music continues) - [Woman] Are you Joe's dad?

- [Jess] Yes.

- [Woman] I've been hoping to meet you.

- [Woman 2] Joe's dad!

- [Jess] Oh, my gosh.

- You are a legacy.

- No!

- Yes, I've actually been looking around here to find Joe.

- Joe is on that wall over there.

- It's like "Keeping Up With The Kardashians", huh?

This is my fifth year coming, So he asked, like maybe the second year we came, and I kept forgetting to get them and bring them and everything.

So, finally I was like, I have to go and I have to get these to Jessie.

(laughing) - Here's your daughter, being silly.

And that's the way I was last night!

Oh, my God.

Is it is so, it is so cool!

It's not me, what it is, it's the spirit of God, that are that are bringing them to me.

Why, I don't know.

But it just, it just, it just totally blows me away.

- Jess is very good at helping new donor families and even older donor families who've not really come to terms with the loss of their loved one.

He helps them through it.

He tells them things they can do and takes him under his wing.

- Can I get a picture of the two of you together?

- Absolutely.

Right here, my little buddy, Ben.

- [Holly] All right, smile guys!

- If I can do it, you can do it.

I can't see.

I can't walk.

And you know what?

I never threw a shot put in a discus before in my life, but I wanted to do something.

And Jesse came down to watch and he cheered me on.

And even though I didn't do it very far, he was proud of me.

- And I'm proud of you.

And I tell everybody, I'm proud of you.

You're awesome.

- My daughters quilt square is on the same quilt as his son's quilt square.

- [Jess] Exactly.

- [Karen] The original one from the Kidney Foundation.

- [Jess] Exactly.

- [Karen] So we pinned it on the very same year.

Jesse's my hero, too, though, he is.

- [Jess] Oh, no.

- [Karen] Oh, yes, he is.

He's my hero.

- You're mine.

You're the healing to my heart.

You're, man, you're the medicine I need.

- You see, we both feed off one another.

- Exactly, oh my gosh.

- We love each other very much.

- Absolutely.

We're going to go meet a fallen police officer's family.

- I'm sorry honey.

- [Jess] Oh my gosh.

My heart just, you know, I just, I can't tell you enough how much I hurt for you.

I know your pain, honey.

How did everything happen?

- [Mary] He was part of the emergency services unit.

The suspect shot at two officers on the street earlier that day and then into an apartment building.

So they called emergency services and they had to clear the apartment building.

And when they got up to the apartment that the guy was in, he had the door fortified and he was just started shooting out the door with a shotgun.

So he shot five officers that day.

- Oh, my God.

- And my husband was the only fatality.

It was two more days while they were trying to match, match his organs.

And I honestly I don't even know if I would be here if it were for my kids, you know, because they're the reason I get up every day.

- See, there's nothing but good memories about your husband.

And that's good.

That's what the children need, need to know.

(soft music) Oh look, see everybody's starting to do group pictures?

- [Woman] Yeah.

- Ben first met Jess when we first registered for the games, and one of the other moms on our team said, "You've got to meet this man.

He's great with kids."

So we met him and of course he gave the boys pins and everything.

- Jesse loved Joe very much.

I just know that I went up to him and gave him a hug because I knew he needed it.

- [Jess] Where's Ben?

Where's my buddy-- - [Holly] He's playing with Beckham.

- Oh, okay, he's having fun.

Oh, yeah.

- He's playing with his brother's heart recipient.

- His brother, his brother's?

- Jake's heart recipient.

He's a spitfire.

- [Jess] Oh, yeah, I can see that.

I can see that.

- He's got so much energy.

- Oh, my gosh.

- And this is his sister.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Right there.

- [Jess] That is so cool and look how they get along.

- [Holly] It's like they've never been separated.

It's super special.

- I see.

And that's, that's what it's all about, man.

This is what it's all about.

- [Holly] Absolutely.

- [Jess] Oh, my God.

- Seeing Jesse with the donor families, that is a constant reminder for him that one day he had to make that decision.

And now he's looking at all these people that have been given a second chance.

And I think he's reminded on these kind of occasions that there's still hope and gratitude and love for one another, and it was worth it.

(gentle music) - A lot has changed in the last year or two.

I met Jesus, and we are just in love.

We just got to know each other with small talk about his son, and just the daily stresses of our jobs.

He's into riding motorcycles.

So when I seen him walking away from his bike, it just like made me give him a second look like, "Wow, has a flashy bike Did he just get off that bike?"

- She beautiful.

She's got big, beautiful eyes.

I just fell in love with her personality and how funny she is and outgoing, just relaxed, you know.

I could be myself around her.

- I think a lot of times we don't allow ourselves to feel like we can live again, love again, laugh again.

And I'm sure she had some real inner thoughts about that.

What would that mean about Joe?

Because I know she never thought she would love again.

- Oh, it was Christmas Day.

And me and Jesus and his son Adrian, we're opening gifts in the morning.

- She starts looking around the tree and then she finds the bag and she instantly just, she's shocked.

- Here we go again.

Uh oh, this is really happening.

Because Christmas had meant so much other feelings for me before.

(gentle music) My dad lost my mom when I was three.

And so I think it's going to be real emotional for my dad and for us to dance together.

I feel like where my dad's at in his life and how he never like found happiness after losing my mom, I feel glad that I didn't get stuck in that place.

And I just think of how lucky I am because not everybody gets to to love two great guys.

I doubt I'll even sit down that day.

I'll be dancing.

If you wanna talk to me, you have to come out there and dance.

(mariachi music) - [Woman] Are you nervous?

No?

- Ooh, feel my heart.

It's in there somewhere.

It's battered and bruised, but it's in there.

Lots of love and babies.

My wedding day was perfect.

It was so fun.

It was everything.

Everything I always hoped it would be.

(mariachi music) I felt so happy that my dad was there.

Jesus had a look on his face that I've never seen before.

Happiness and proud.

- [Announcer] Mr. and Mrs. Jesus Barajas!

(crowd cheering) (mariachi music) - Jess I got this memory of my uncle who passed away.

He was a he's a great guy and he was a police officer.

So I wanted to just do something in his memory.

- What was his name?

- His name was Joseph Chairez.

(mariachi music) (mariachi music continues) (mariachi music continues) (mariachi music continues) (gentle music) - She was just gorgeous.

She, she shined.

She was like a, like a sparkling diamond.

- [Rebecca] This one was the best day ever.

We sat out under the trees till one o'clock in the morning, and I was still in my dress and it was still gorgeous.

I think that Joe had a lot to do with all of that.

(gentle music continues) - [Jess] He loved Rebecca so much that he would want this day to come for her to never be sad anymore.

She's finally happy.

Part of me felt like I lost my little girl, because part of me is mad, you know.

To me, she honored my son and showed me how much love she had for my son, by not being married.

- It was good to see Rebecca happy.

Happy, with another man in her life.

She looked like she continued her life.

- The wedding was very hard, because that should have been my son standing there with her.

I was happy that she met, she found someone, I liked him.

The first time I met him.

- [Rebecca] It was like an unspoken need for me, for them to be there and have them really be happy for what I was doing.

- It reminded me of like, Joe's death.

I had to suck it up for the media to do what I had to do to bury my son Joe.

And that's the way I felt with Rebecca's wedding.

- I want you to be happy.

I want you to be married.

I want you to have your own kids.

My son did want this for you, he wanted you to live on.

- [Rebecca] I just feel like I finally deserve everything that's starting to come my way.

Like, I worked hard for this.

(person whistling) I remember being so dead set on I don't want kids.

I wanted Joe's kids.

That was such a part of that fog.

I couldn't see the future still.

Hopefully I'll have babies, but I feel like either way, like I'm super happy and I'm super content even without 'em, I'm happy.

- I think there's a difference between scabs and scars.

Scabs are that infection that just hasn't healed, but a scar is something that reminds us we loved deeply, but we've healed from that pain.

- My little buddy.

- Yeah.

- [Jess] I made I made a friend for life here.

- But I'm taller, how do I look?

(laughing) - I've been wanting to see her.

- I know.

- Get a hold of me on Facebook.

Oh, my gosh.

- Go NorCal!

Go, go!

- I want to tell you a story.

Two years ago, when you gave me a pin, and I told you that one of my police officers had just been shot.

- Oh, yes.

- And I took it back to him and I gave him the pins that you gave me.

- Either you or him, he sent me a patch.

- Yes, he.

did.

- Yes.

Yes, and then let me tell you where it went.

That patch went to in California, Oakland, four police officers were murdered in Oakland, and I made them a quilt and that was put on there and it was given to them.

You guys, you don't know me, but you know what, though?

- I met you!

I met you in-- - You did?

Okay, well, listen, I'm gonna give you guys, I'm going to give you guys a flower.

- Pittsburgh.

- Okay, let me make it clear, okay?

These are from my wife, not from me.

Give to the donor families.

- What is your son's story?

- It's been almost 14 years and I still get emotion with, the games brings it out on me.

And you know I'll be honest with you these these tears and the tears of joy because God already wiped away the tears of sorrow.

My heart just bleeds for for all of us.

I mean, this is a group that no one wants to be in.

But you know what, though?

I'm proud to be here with all you guys.

- Yes.

- You know, we all have the same pain.

- Yeah.

- And I just, you know, it, doesn't matter if it's 14 years or 14 days.

- Right.

- It hurts.

So, that's why I'm glad that I got to keep coming to these games until the day I die.

- Very special, thank you.

Thank you, Joe's dad!

- So, God bless you!

- God bless you.

- God bless you guys.

Okay, honey.

- I love you.

- Love you, too, hun.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You guys enjoy the rest of the time.

My family's already up there, almost ready to go in there.

- Thank you.

- But thank you, guys.

Thank you, thank you.

God bless you guys.

Oh, this my little buddy.

Where's Ben, where's Ben?

Oh, there's my little buddy, Ben.

Look.

- Exactly.

- We're almost ready.

- [Woman] Are you ready for this?

(upbeat acoustic guitar) To be humble, to be kind It is a giving of the peace in your mind To a stranger, to a friend To give in such a way that has no end We are love We are one We are how we treat each other When the day is done We are peace We are war We are how we treat each other and nothing more And to be bold to be brave It is the thinking that the heart can still be saved And darkness can come quick The danger's in the anger and in the hanging on to it We are love We are one We are how we treat each other when the day is done We are peace We are war We are how we treat each other and nothing more And tell me what it is that you see A world that's full of endless possibility And heroes don't look like they used to They look like you do We are love We are one We are how we treat each other when the day is done We are peace We are war We are how we treat each other and nothing more We are how we treat each other and nothing more We are how we treat each other (gentle guitar music) (gentle guitar music continues) (gentle guitar music continues) (gentle guitar music continues) (no audio) (no audio)