Home is a Hotel

This program brought to you in part with support from the following.

The Sundance Institute Humanities Sustainability Fellowship, The Center for Asian American Media, California Humanities, a partner of the NEH, the SF Film Documentary Film Fund, as well as support from the following.

- I wish I had more room in here.

It's just, I got a lot of stuff over here.

- Usually it looks way better in here, it's just I'm in paint mode so I can't, like, really be tidy.

I just don't like this psychology orange in here and this pleasantry yellow.

It's kind of like, as a person who done color theory in college, it's like, dude, you're just, you got too much positivity going on.

So you got sickly and confusing and they thought they were doing something good, but it has an adverse effect and you can see it in the mentality of the people around.

I started this one last week.

I don't know.

(laughs) Sometimes I be goin' through different things.

(Sylvester grunts) Oh.

(laughs) Geez Louise.

Six, seven, eight, nine.

Six, seven... I don't know, sometimes people do commissions for things that they have around.

Like I did a commission for a store that sold, like, hotdogs and fries and I got like fries and hotdogs for a whole year.

(Sylvester chuckles) So it's like, I got a, I was on a fry and hotdog diet.

(soft bright orchestral music) (soft bright orchestral music continues) A SRO is a room and you gotta build your whole life in a room.

You gotta eat in this room, you gotta bathe in this room, you gotta work in this room.

You have to live your whole life in this room.

- [Tenant 1] No kitchen, bathroom in the hallway.

It's called a single room occupancy SRO Hotel.

(soft orchestral music) - [Tenant 2] We had no other place to go.

Other hotels wouldn't rent to the drag queens or transsexuals.

- [Tenant 3] My parents and I were lucky to even get this room.

It's $900, but it's a place we can call home.

(door buzzes) (people chattering in the distance) (phone ringing) - Advocate office.

This is Jacque.

There's an SRO right on, I think it's Turk?

Not Turk, um, Taylor.

It's like, yeah, it's one on Taylor Street.

It's like five-something.

Shared bathroom.

I mean, depending on what you're looking for or what your budget is, I could try to help you in my spare time on Fridays.

I'm a shelter client advocate.

After my shelter experience, I've been through way too many different instances where people overlook stuff and bad shit happens for me to not go ahead and speak up.

Oh my God.

Z like zebra, like Zallah.

- [Zallah] Zallah?

- [Jacque] Zallah.

Zallah the zebra.

- [Zallah] Z, Zallah?

- One at a time.

(Zallah babbling) (cars honking) - [Elderly Passerby] God bless you two.

- Thank you.

(vehicles beeping) - [Zallah] Mommy!

Mommy!

- No one wants to live this way, being trapped in a mini studio where your table doubles as your bed.

But, you know, I'll take my blessings wherever I can get 'em because I definitely didn't have anywhere else to go.

I'm literally signed up on every section eight wait list that there is from here to Napa, on that wait list since I was 18.

- [Samson] Hi.

- [Jacque] I'm tired.

- [Samson] Sorry.

- I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out, like, how this works with her and me having to be at work at nine and him having to be to daycare at nine because she made me late last week, which means I was two hours short.

So that means that when they take all those deductions, those $600 worth of deductions, that means that I'm gonna be behind again.

I can't do it anymore.

Something has to give.

You think I can win "Top Chef" or you can win "Top Chef?"

- We can win.

Think positive.

(Jacque laughs) (Zallah babbling) Say, "Think positive."

(Zallah babbling) Uh huh, it's possible.

Right, my boy.

- Oh, you heard that?

He said, "It's possible."

(laughs) Honey, did you want something from the store?

- [Samson] No, please.

- No Heineken?

- [Samson] No.

- Okay.

Come on, baby.

(Zallah exclaims) We're coming right back, baby.

- [Zallah] Huh?

- We're coming back.

We're just going to the store.

- High.

- Look, there it go.

(Zallah humming) You like those fruit snacks, huh?

(Zallah humming) Go.

Say hey.

Here look, give him one of those.

Give him one.

Maybe he might want one.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Watch out.

- How you doin'?

- Hey, Sunbear.

- Come on, girl.

What'd you get?

You want me to open 'em for you?

- Yes, please.

- I had about three days clean the day he was born 'cause I kept trying and failing.

You know, relapsing.

So they took him and put him in foster care and gave us ultimatums.

And then I went down to the HOT Team and I just begged 'em.

I said, look, you know I got got this new son, you know, I've been struggling.I said, I need a place to be, to get clean.

You know, to stay clean.

I can't do it homeless.

Saved my life.

Really.

(Sunbear mumbles) Come on, buddy.

Microwave.

If you can see, there's so many roaches in this motherfucker that they block the time sometimes.

They're just in there.

Right.

We used to be able to keep our food in there to keep it away from the roaches but they figured out how to get in there.

And a fridge.

Not much room for nothin', so it's kind of a drag.

Needs to be cleaned.

So Amy and I were together for twelve years.

After we got clean, we drifted apart.

I was all, wait a minute, you don't even like The Grateful Dead.

Who are you?

Basically Amy and I got rid of all the bullshit and drama that comes with the relationship that you don't have with a friendship.

We still have a little bit here and there, but I think we're getting better because we both are 100% committed to raising this child - [Amy] You know you make a better door than a window?

- [Sunbear] I'm sittin' next to my boy.

- [Amy] Yeah, well you're sittin' right in front of me.

- [Sunbear] That's how it is in this place.

- [Character On TV] We cannot let you leave.

We made an island.

- [Locutor] Nostalgia, de la seora Savin, en la voz de... - That song, my friend Lupita want to sing it next Palomazo.

Esta.

Apropiada - Para amar.

Para amar Siento ms la soledad - Esta cancin la escrib para mi marido en una vez que me enoj con l.

Y yo no s por qu, esta cancin cada que la oigo o la canto, me, me, no s, me llena de emocin porque, porque las palabras que dice, no?

Es mi propia vida.

Si her tu corazn el da de mi partida, Curar tu herida con besos y mi amor No quise hacerte dao, fue algo inevitable Te juro por mi madre, te juro por mi madre Que fue sin intencin Veo poquito y puedo hacer las cosas porque ya conozco el lugar, pero si yo voy a otros lugares, no puedo hacerlo.

Okay.

Hoy no me voy a tardar.

(knocking on door) Un segundito.

(child giggling) (Christina and Shirley speak in Chinese) (Christina speaks in Chinese) (Christina and Shirley speak in Chinese) (Shirley cries) (Christina and Shirley speak in Chinese) - [Shirley] Thank you, mommy.

(Grandmother and Shirley speak in Chinese) (Christina speaks in Chinese) (residents speak in Chinese) (Christina speaks in Chinese) (Christina and Shirley speaking in foreign language) (seagulls squawking) - My first time being here, I remember I just got put out of this place called MSC South.

I got put out of there because I was under age, one.

I was 16 in there, but not only that, you know, there was a lot of predators in there.

(chuckles) I got into a fight with one in the middle of the night and since I wasn't supposed to be there anyway, I got put out.

(scoffs) I wandered around until I could find a nice little dark place to sleep and the first night I didn't get messed with here.

I found some, a food source around the corner.

It's kind of quiet here.

You know, it wasn't many people down here and my back was up against the wall.

So, yeah, it was a prime spot for me.

I don't think anybody that would've tried to help me then would've changed my life.

You know, I probably wouldn't have took it anyway, you know?

'Cause somebody offering you help on the streets, hey, that could mean plenty of things, you know?

How much integrity can you lose?

How much are you willing to give?

I made a couple of promises to myself and one of the main promises I made was I'm not gonna allow no one to hurt me regardless, you know?

And that even comes to me.

I'm not even gonna hurt myself.

And another promise I made was I'm not gonna expect of nobody what I'm not willing to do for my damn self.

- [Sunbear] Are you cold?

- [Marley] No.

- [Sunbear] You want your jacket?

- No.

- No?

- [Marley] It isn't cold out here at all.

- [Sunbear] I think it's kinda chilly.

Whoa, don't get peed on.

- [Marley] Whoa, Fire's gettin' peed on.

Oh, shoot, I almost got peed on.

- [Sunbear] Yeah.

Marley.

Marley.

I'd like it better when you hold my hand on Sixth Street, okay?

- [Man] Oh hey, little kid.

Hey.

- [Sunbear] What's up, bro?

Daddy, when we get a new house, right outside in our backyard, we are making a metal pole and painting it so I can climb up it.

- Like a fireman pole?

- No, dad, I need one of those poles so I can get muscles.

- Okay.

- That'll help me grow.

- That'll help you grow.

Eating vegetables will help you grow, too.

I feel kind of blessed in a weird way because I was homeless in this neighborhood, living in Golden Gate Park.

And it, especially out here in this part at nighttime when it's foggy, it's so mystical.

- [Passenger] I love, I love the city so much.

- Yep.

- And the fact that, I don't know.

Industry and technology is great, but, but it's hurting so much of the community and gentrifying places that don't need to.

- Yeah, it's killing me.

- Yeah.

- It's killing me, really.

Like we live in a little, if I can show you, I mean our room is like to the first seat.

Like it's so... - Yeah.

- It's so small.

- Yeah.

- And it's 800 a month.

- Yeah.

- Right.

And we got bedbugs and roaches and we're trying to move up.

But his mom wants to be here because she's waiting on her dream job of working in the parks.

But even then, like, I'm trying to tell her we wouldn't be able to live here anyways.

I'm on SSI.

She's... - [Marley] Look it, I see a play structure.

- [Sunbear] I see a big tarp.

Wonder what they're doin'.

(basketball players laughing) (children chattering) - Let's do this one first, okay?

Because it's more your size.

Go.

- Hey.

- Oh, hey.

- [Zallah] Hi.

- [Samson] How you doing?

- [Jacque] Come over here.

Harmony.

That's the infamous Harmony there.

That's my daughter Harmony.

Hey, baby.

Harmony is currently supposed to be in foster care and she ran away from that.

(Zallah laughing) - [Harmony] He hella laughs.

(Zallah laughing) Why is it so amusing?

- [Jacque] Everything is when you're two.

- I was 16 when I got pregnant with her.

Kind of just lived in the car.

After a year of that.

I just couldn't do it anymore, so I asked a relative to take care of Harmony and that was pretty much it.

I can't force anything on her.

If I was able to provide her with a home, once she sees her own space, then maybe she would want to come and be a part of this side of it.

(birds chirping) (vehicles beeping) (people chattering) - [Chris] The belly of the beast.

- [Sylvester] Yeah.

- All those nights spent, you know, painting in SRO, dude, it's time to show 'em what you got.

Here comes Slick and Chris.

(Sylvester chuckles) I'm just saying, that's real, though.

- [Sylvester] Yeah.

I feel like, like, I feel like a art mercenary.

You're painting the Death Star.

- [Chris] I'm not workin' for rebellion, yo,I'm gonna paint the Death Star.

(laughs) - Like I said, I'm a Sith.

I am not a Jedi.

I have never been a Jedi.

I believe in using my powers for gain.

This is two dragons to represent Chinatown.

- [Onlooker] Dragons?

- [Sylvester] Yeah, that's this right here.

Hannah did all the, Hannah did all the... They're not Chinese dragons.

They're just dragons.

(people chattering) (Christina and Shirley speaking in Chinese) (upbeat percussive music) (Christina speaks in Chinese) (upbeat percussive music) (Christina and Shirley speak in Chinese) - [Shirley] Are you ready?

Go.

(Christina and Shirley sing in Chinese) (Christina speaks in Chinese) (co-worker speaks in foreign lan guage) (Christina speaks in Chinese) (interviewee and Christina speak in Chinese) (knocking on door) - Buenos das, Estercita.

- Buenos das.

Buenas, cmo est?

- Bien, gracias, y t como amaneciste, mi'ja?

- Bien, gracias a Dios.

Cmo empez su semana?

- Oh, pues ms o menos.

- Dios te bendiga mja.

- Gracias, gracias.

En todo el tiempo que he vivido aqu, que ya es bastante, siempre aqu, el manager o la mujer me han acusado de cosas malas que yo no he hecho.

De que dicen que yo, este, dej, dej ****** por el pasillo, por el hall way, pasillo, que se yo.

Por todo eso, entonces, nada ms por mi condicin, porque yo soy la ms vieja que vive aqu.

- Ahora hizo usted la grabacin como.

- Y ahora yo lo grab, precisamente por eso.

- Esta****.

Mire.

Esta es la tercera vez, Ester, hay mierda por el pasillo.

- Pero yo no soy.

- "Es la tercera vez", dice.

- Fjate.

Pero eso lo hacen para joderme a m.

- S, exacto.

- Dice, Es esto intencional?"

-Eso es la mentalare Tal vez para que a usted la corran ms rpido.

- De veras?

Por qu demonios no la limpian?

Okey, ya est listo.

Venga, pues.

- Okey, gracias.

(shower water pattering) (Zallah babbling) - That the one you like?

This one?

- [Zallah] Yeah.

- That's fine?

- No, on that one.

- Which one you want?

- No.

- That?

- No, I don't want that!

- Well then this is the one you gonna have to have then.

You don't like the other one.

This is the other one.

(Zallah crying) Do you wanna help mommy comb your hair?

Huh?

You wanna do it?

- Yeah, I do it.

(television blaring) - See?

Does that hurt?

It doesn't hurt, right?

(Zallah yells) - [Zallah] Mommy!

- [Jacque] You got it?

- Yeah.

I got it.

(Marley spits) - The spit is out.

- [Sunbear] I wish Amy was here.

She knows where all this kinda stuff is.

Okay, Paw Patrol bed.

(bottle thuds) So many nights I'll be sitting in bed in that little room and I'm like, oh my God, I just want to go take my blanket up to the park and sleep (Marley spits) Oh, dammit.

Yes, we're going to bed.

- [Marley] We aren't going to bed right now, dad.

- [Sunbear] Yes, it's bed time.

Who's a good iron making machine - Come on, I'll tuck you in.

Up in there.

(kiss smacks) - Stop it, daddy.

- Sweet dreams, buddy.

(soft orchestral music) - [Tenant 4] Now when I moved in if it was the way it is now, as far as renting and all of that, I wouldn't have been able to move in because I don't make enough money.

(soft orchestral music continues) - [Tenant 5] The rich people,they come down here and treat this place like trash.

And it's not trash.

The people who live down here, this is a home to them.

(soft orchestral music continues) - [Tenant 6] And that other place that I lived, I shared a bathroom with twelve people and nobody would clean the bathroom.

I was the only one cleaning it.

And I just thought, ugh.

It was, um, yeah, that was kind of rough.

(chuckles) - [Tenant 7] I have a gentleman across from me, he likes to have fun in his room with himself, which I'm all for, but you know, he doesn't like to put his blinds down.

(soft orchestral music continues) - [Tenant 8] We have a lot of elderly people.

We have a lot of disabled people.

If the elevators were down, we would have to help all the people who couldn't walk the stairs.

That's why I loved that building because we had caring people in there.

(soft orchestral music continues) (people chattering) - These are some of my skateboards.

Hopefully one of 'em sell.

I don't think so.

(chuckles) Hopefully.

Who knows?

(chuckles) I'm looking around like I want to get me some food.

- Yeah, well there's some upstairs.

- Yeah, what kind-- This is my co-worker Nicholas, he's an artist as well.

We were on the bus together, too and we saw you.

- Hey Nicholas, how's it going?

Nice to meet you.

- Did you do the skateboards?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Those decks are sick.

- Oh, right on.

Yeah, yeah.

- Do you just, like, paint straight onto it or, 'cause it looked like a gloss.

- Yeah, what I do is I like sand all the stuff off, then I paint on top of it, then I cover it with resin.

We're gonna have a show next month, actually, on the fourth.

October 4th at the SF Skate Club - Where's that?

- Oh on Divis.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got a show going up there.

There you go, right there.

Speaking of the devils.

Hey, how's it goin'?

- It's goin' all right.

- Oh, here.

Wait.

I made you a button.

- [Chris] Oh, a button.

- [Sylvester] Yeah.

- [Chris] Well, give it to me, 'cause I gotta... - Ah, there you go.

- Oh, that's tight.

Oh, that's sick.

Where'd you make that?

- Right there with Eric.

- Oh yeah?

Oh.

(people laughing) Okay, um, I was Block Fest like two years ago.

We often, a lot of times when we're in the Tenderloin, we see the people and we see them as like squalid or, you know, we see them as people that just ask for change or doing drugs or whatever.

But this is a very culturally rich neighborhood.

You know, we are a solid community regardless of where we're from or how different we are, we stand united that we are all in this neighborhood.

And the best thing about being a neighbor is, like, this just isn't like my neighborhood, this is my home, you know?

Like, this is the only place I can be myself.

(people applauding) (cars passing) (people chattering) (people chattering) (upbeat funky music) (ambulance siren blaring) - [News Reporter] A San Francisco man's behind bars accused of killing a man with his fists.

38 year old Sylvester Guard is charged with voluntary manslaughter.

Police say he beat a 66 year old man to death in the Tenderloin neighborhood Sunday afternoon.

- I am Sylvester Guard's public defender.

He got into an argument, a physical altercation with his neighbor, Mr.

Montgomery, who attacked him at his home.

Mr.

Montgomery was intoxicated.

He was very drunk and he started the fight with Sylvester and Sylvester was defending himself.

Good afternoon, your Honor.

Abigail Rivamonte for the Public Defender's office.

We waive instruction and arraignment, enter pleas of not guilty and request that my client be released on his own recognizance.

May the record reflect that I'd say 80% of the courtroom is filled with Mr.

Guard's supporters.

- [Prosecutor] I do know that this is an unfortunate case, your Honor, but I also do know that the defendant is charged with voluntary manslaughter.

Admittedly, it appears the victim was drunk.

However, given the felonious conduct here, I'm asking that Mr.

Guard be detained without bail.

- [Judge] Given the level of community support in court, I do not deem him to be a flight risk.

Mr.

Guard, I am going to order you to be detained in your home.

You are not to leave without the express permission of the Sheriff's Department.

So don't leave your apartment, don't leave your place for any reason whatsoever without the express permission of the Sheriff's Department.

(gavel pounding) - That's where we're at right now.

In a situation like this, typically where someone is out of custody and then facing, you know, voluntary manslaughter charges, I wouldn't rush it, right?

- Yeah.

- But the only reason I feel like we have to is because I don't want you feel ing like you're trapped at home all the time, right?

- When I get out my room, I see the area everything happened every day.

Like, even though I feel that what he did to me was wrong, I still feel like I wanted an alternative.

I, you know, it's like anything but that, man, you know?

That's, you know, like, that's my neighbor.

That was, he's a guy that's from my neighborhood that survived everything, you know?

If you live in the Tenderloin and you're over 30, you came a long way.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh, man.

(children shouting) - It kind of bothers me that the jail is right next to my kid's school I don't know.

I don't like it.

(chuckles) Field trip reminder?

- And Daddy, I think I need to get snacks today.

- Okay.

We'll take care of this when we get home, okay?

Can I have a hug?

Can I have a hug?

(Sunbear grunts) Careful.

(kiss smacks) You know daddy's leaving tonight for a month, right?

- Mm-hm.

- Yep, I'm sorry, buddy.

When I come back, I'll have- - A brand new car?

- No, not brand new.

- A Pontiac?

- I wish.

Bedbug, bedbug.

- And also, bedbug.

- Okay, you gonna put your jacket on or put it in the backpack?

- [Marley] Put it in the backpack.

- Okay, here.

What, Scooby-Doo?

What do you see?

A broken pencil?

- No.

- Oh, money.

Well we can't get that outta there.

We got plenty of change.

No, come on.

Because I gotta go, I gotta get- - The keys.

- Mommy has the keys.

Bro, I gotta get ready for my trip.

I'll give you twice of that when we get home.

It's 11 cents, I'll give you a quarter.

Look at that little cutie pie.

(hip hop music) Come on, Fire!

(Sunbear whistling) (hip hop music) Come on.

(birds chirping) - The big packet.

The one that says section eight on it.

He doesn't, he has his expired driver's license.

- [Caseworker] Okay, is he gonna renew it or- - Yeah, we're gonna- - Okay, can I make a copy of his expired... - Not sure.

- Did you bring it out of the car?- [Caseworker] Because it still remains with the same number, it's just- - Okay, yeah.You're gonna have to go to the car and get it.

- No.

I only have it on the phone.

- Do you have your wallet in the car?

- No.

- Why do you not have your wallet?

- It's not in the car.

I have the wallet, but the ID is not in the car.

It's in my other, in my pocket.

- No worries, you can produce it later.

- Well, I have the picture.

- I can't- - She needs to make a copy of it for the file.

- Oh.

You read this list?

- I don't know if there's several vacancies or one apartment that these families are just trying to see who qualifies for it.

- Okay.

- I don't know that.

- All right.

- But it is a program that we just started.

- Yeah, there's like a big group of us and it went through, it's different sections.

I know it's like a bunch of different sections.

Tenderloin, Chinatown and one other section, I'm not sure.

But I guess it's only three of us from the Tenderloin.

We're the smaller group, I guess So, I don't know, I hope us small people get there.

Thank you.

- For waiting for me.

- No problem.

- I apologize for the confusion.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

(people chattering) (Christina speaking in Chinese) - Que cuntos son?

- Son seis - Seis?

No estn muy, muy golpeados o algo?

- Poquito, a ver, pngalos otra vez.

- No, no, no.

- Estos.

- Unos de abajo, estos de ac, de ac.

- Oh, este.

- Esos estn buenos, s.

- Estos estn buenos.

- [Hombre] Tienes hambre?

- [Esther] No.

(puerta cerrndose) (TV host speaks Spanish) - [Esther] Tanto a m me ha gustado siempre ser independiente, hacer mis propias cosas.

(TV host speaks in Spanish) - [Esther] Ya tengo como 13 aos y medio casi.

- [Esther] Te digo, yo el da que me muera, yo me voy a morir aqu, yo creo, y que me incineren y que les manden las cenizas y y (TV host speaks in Spanish) - I got arrested, you know that, it, that was super traumatic.

(chuckles) And then, you know, the detectives, they put me in this room and then they broke the news to me.

It was like, "Yeah, you know, like the guy died," and I pretty much had a nervous breakdown right there on the spot.

Pretty much I've been painting a lot, but I haven't been completing anything.

Like, every time I walk through the door, that memory pops up.

It's not a great memory.

Yeah, this shit hurts.

(tool scraping) (Zallah babbling) - Mommy's putting up pictures of your sister, baby.

(Zallah babbling) Yes, pictures for your sister.

Thank you for being such a good boy, baby, okay?

Mommy'll buy you a ice cream after this, all right?

You want a ice cream baby?

Yes?

Hey.

- [Worker] Hi.

- [Jacque] Can I put this up right here?

Yeah?

Because I know she be coming in y'alls store, but she a minor so.

[Worker] No she don't be coming around here She looks a lot different with makeup on.

- [Worker] Oh, okay.

- [Jacque] Lots different.

- [Worker] Who was she with?

- [Jacque] This dude right here.

His name is Mike.

- [Customer] How you doin'?

- But I don't have a real good picture of him, but I know he be up here 'cause that's just a couple of paces down from you.

- [Worker] Yeah, I know, it's right here.

- [Jacque] Mm-hm.

He be out here drunk, grindin', but I gotta float em around.

He got her out here at night on a crate, so.

Thank you.

[Worker] You got the tape?

[Jacque] Yes I do.

- [Jacque] You're welcome, baby.

Thank you.

(phone buzzing) Who is this?

I can't hear you.

Hey, Jacques.

I'm up here putting these flyers up of your niece.

The guy got her out here selling drugs and the police don't think that that's enough to arrest him, so I'm gonna just keep bothering him until he stops.

Not very much longer because the baby is gettin' antsy and I just wanted to hit the spot where this dude might be at.

He already promised that he wouldn't be dealing with Harmony no more after he pushed her out the car the last time but I said I'm not, you know, I'm not taking no chances on you so I went and filed a statutory rape charge.

You know, I did a reverse search on his phone number and I got his real name, his date of birth and his last known address, so I gave it to the police and didn't seem like they really gave a shit so I said fuck it, I'll just do it myself, like, like I've been doing it myself thus far, so.

All right, Jacques.

You know your nephew's birthday party tomorrow.

You gonna come?

Bring him a Thomas the Train toy?

Fairyland.

(Zallah grunts) Well it's bumps, baby.

Mommy can't control the bumps in the road.

You gotta walk over them, okay?

- [Commentator] So you have the tech industry getting huge but employing far fewer people.

- [News Anchor] Thanks so much for your perspective tonight.

The reward for information leading to a missing University of Iowa student has climbed to $172,000.

(people chattering) (Christina speaks in Chinese) (Christina speaks in Chinese) (co-worker speaks in Chinese) (people chattering) (people chattering) (singer singing in Spanish) (audience applauding) (audience cheering) - [Lupita] Junto a mi amiga, junto a mi amiga, algo, algo junto a mi amiga, Esther Ya hace aos.

- [Man] Hace cunto que se conocen?

- Como 15 aos.

- [Man] 15?

- S, verdad?

- Ya, ya.

- S, muchsimo.

- [Man] Ya estn en su adolescencia.

- Ah vivimos, donde ella vive, vivimos juntas un tiempo.

- Nosotras rentamos juntas primero.

- [Man] En Mxico?

- Esther, a qu edad empezaste a escribir canciones?

- Bueno, mira, yo empec a escribir mis versos ah todos malhechos porque no saba cmo hacerlos, pero no ms que rimaran porque yo tena un esposo alcohlico y pasaba mucho tiempo sola con mis hijos, este, mientras l se iba de parrandas y todo eso.

Entonces, como que la misma soledad o la nostalgia, o sea de que yo deseaba que me amaran a m, este, ya supe de la asociacin de compositores de Jalisco, Guadalajara.

Y pues empec a ir y ah ya me ensearon realmente cmo hacer los versos y las canciones.

l est aqu y solitario Nada y nada sin cesar En las profundas aguas De un turbulento mar Sobreviviendo tormentas Maremotos y huracanes Nada de un lado a otro Desafiando tempestades (audience applauding) - [Lupita] Muchas gracias.

(tram bell rings) (neighbor shouting next door) (Sylvester chuckles) - That's an all day thing.

Like I can hear it now 'cause I don't have my TV on.

Ah, shit.

You know, I don't have nothin' but time now, so it's like I think about things.

sometimes I get angry, sometimes I feel really mad, sometimes I get a lot of anxiety.

So yeah, this piece right here is already became kind of personal.

Drawing this thing, I had me an emotional moment, you know, because when I was six years old my mom, she was doing really bad.

She was doing very bad.

She didn't have any money at all.

And Christmas was coming around and I don't know how she did it, but she managed to get me a whole set of "Cat in the Hat" books.

(chuckles) It was really kind of, uh... It was kind of... Hmm.

I don't know, I don't know how she got the money for it, you know?

It really, I knew she didn't have the money for it.

I knew she didn't, we didn't have it because we was in a shelter at this time.

You know, it dawned on me that, wow, this is why I equate this with Christmas, you know?

"The Cat and the Hat" and Dr.

Seuss and books for Christmas, you know, I to this day still equate this with my mother.

And I started crying, you know, 'cause I just lost her not too long ago and it's just like, it's kind of like, feel like it summoned my mom in a way.

- There's never literally any children in this park.

Like, when I was a kid, this is the park we used to play in.

They used to have this big giant metal, like, airplane and they removed it 'cause they said it was full of lead, so, maybe I have lead poisoning, I don't know.

(Zallah laughing) Be careful, Zallah.

Oh my God, that freaks me out how a kid that's small can just climb up all that stuff without the fear of falling down.

(Zallah laughing) So my dad went to prison when my mom was pregnant with me.

And then my mom passed away when I was five.

(soft emotional music) Stayed in foster care for a while, but I don't think people really had my best interest at heart.

Harmony's life is becoming a replica of mine.

(soft emotional music continues) I felt like I was living in hell walking around with demons or something, and I don't want her to have to go through any of that, but she is.

It's just, it's stupid.

It's like nothing changes.

Like the system failed me, they're failing her even more, and there's nothing that I can do about it except wait.

(children laughing) (Marley grunts) - God.

How hard it this?

I'm doing it.

Perfect.

That's perfect.

(Marley grunts) - What are you doing?

I need that.

- Here, eat this orange.

It tastes like Tang, Marley.

- [Marley] Tang?

What is Tang?

- [Amy] It's really sweet orange juice.

- [Marley] God.

- No, put that down.

Put it down right there.

You're gonna do your homework on it.

- [Marley] Mom!

(Marley grunts) Let me put this away.

- No, put it down right there.

(Marley laughs) Okay, put it down.

Sit down and do your homework.

Right now.

- [Marley] I don't have my backpack.

- It's right there at the door.

- I forgot that I got this.

And it's time to take these markers out of my backpack.

- [Amy] Stop.

- [Marley] Now what color am I gonna make it?

- This is, "Follow the letter X. Help the girl find her way to the treasure chest."

Big X. Perfect, look at that X. Little X.

- Big X. Little X.

- [Sylvester] Felicia, Gale.

Hey, how's it goin'?

- How are you?

- Hey.

- How are you doing?

- Hey.

- You nervous, huh?

- Yeah.

Hey, good morning.

Hey.

- Good to see you.

- Good to see you, too.

So how's it going?

- I'm okay.

- Most definitely.

I'm about to go check out who my judge is.

- [Friend 3] Okay.

- Thanks.

- Wishing you well.

I was sending you a message wishing you well and telling you what room it is, but you know.

- Okay, yeah, I got it from Gale downstairs.

I think we should probably get some seats before, like, it's all full up.

You need some help?

I know you got it, but, I know you a strong woman and all.

- Thank you, thank you.

- No worries.

- [Friend 4] Take your time.

(people chattering) - [Sylvester] Beauty before age.

(chuckles) (people chattering) - [Prosecutor] Your Honor, at the outset, my office selected to file at least voluntary manslaughter.

But I also want to point out that there is a strong argument here, if not more than sufficient evidence on an implied malice theory of murder, 15 years to life.

- [Abigail] Your Honor, the witness was very clear about several different things that show that Mr.

Guard was acting in self-defense.

My client's actions after the fight are indicative that he did not know that the act was dangerous to human life.

He doesn't continue to hit Mr.

Montgomery when he's down.

He rendered aid.

- [Judge] I'm not sure I agree with your interpretation of the evidence.

I don't need to find that the defendant had any ill will or hatred towards Mr.

Montgomery to make a finding of implied malice.

I find that the people have shown that Mr.

Guard knew his actions were dangerous to human life, therefore I find that the people have met their burden of producing sufficient evidence for the charge of second degree murder.

(gavel pounds) - You did a great job kind of keeping it together because at the end of the day, you know your truth, right?

- Yeah.

- Your truth is that you were trying to defend yourself and that this wouldn't have happened if he didn't come at you and if he didn't swing at you, hit you, provoke you, all of those things, right?

You just have to hang onto your truth because that's essentially what is going to get you through this trial, what's gonna get you through the preliminary hearing and what's gonna get you through mentally and knowing that you're still on electronic monitoring, all these restrictions exist, but you have to stick to your truth.

- Yeah.

That's, yeah, like, this hurts my soul.

It hurts my soul, like... (police sirens blare in the distance) Like some guy gets drunk, sloppy drunk and then sock my ass and he dies and it's like I'm stuck holding his fucked up world.

And now my world is fucked up and everything good I was working for is just gone.

You know, like I can't, after this, I can't get a job, like a good job.

All they gotta do is Google my name and my mugshot pops up.

This isn't my addiction, this was his addiction, you know?

And then, you know, everybody's indifferent about him, you know, and it's just like, that hurts my fuckin' heart 'cause he's still a person, you know?

Maybe that's why he acted out because everybody was indifferent towards him, you know what I mean?

Maybe he was, you know, alone.

What am I gonna do after this?

What am I gonna do, you know?

It's like... Like me going back to work that's, (scoffs) I'd be lucky if I could work in a warehouse after this.

I'd be lucky if I could shovel shit after this.

(birds squawking) (Esther speaks in Spanish) - Una casa para que un cuarto, simplemente con que tienda la cama ya se ve que est todo bien.

Yo a mis hijos les deca, Edgar, sobre esto Edgar, que era el que diario dejaba todo mal.

Edgar, tiende tu cama.

Ay am, es domingo.

Y qu tiene que sea domingo?

Qu importa que sea domingo?

T tiendes tu cama y todos tiendan sus camas.

Pues hice una mala cosa porque yo me vine y dej a mi marido, el pap de mis hijos all, dej a mis hijos que, y el nio ms chico tena 14.

Entonces, yo cuando viva en Nayarit fue que conoc al hombre con quien me vine y dije, guau, esto es lo que esperaba para poder ir a Estados Unidos para que me vean de los ojos.

Entonces mi hijo me llam y me dijo, Sabes qu?

Este, no quiero que vuelvas a hablar.

Para m, ests muerta y vete mucho a la... Lo sent muchsimo, llor.

Porque eso de estar leyendo con los dedos, a veces los dedos como que no te dicen la verdad.

(soft ethereal music) - [Tenant 9] There's a lot of shame connected to like living in a SRO.

SROs are seen as kind of like a, it's just a temporary state for you to get your, you know, get your foot on the ground and then you leave.

And then what happens when people don't leave?

- [Tenant 10] I would've liked to move out yesterday, but considering money is the issue, it's gonna be a little while before that happens.

(Tenant speaks in Chinese) (soft music) - [Tenant 11] No matter where I go, housing is cheaper, but minimum wage is lower, so it's still the same ratio.

- [Tenant 12] This is not an ordinary building and saying that it's just a building that houses people, but for us it's more than that.

It houses all our dreams and all our ancestor's dreams and their ancestor's dreams.

(soft music continues) - I feel extra pressure with everything at this point.

If I cut my hair a certain way, I feel it could like sway the tide of my case.

If I wear a certain pair of shoes, it sway the tide of my case.

If I sleep too late, it sways the tide of everything.

And you know, it's a shitty place to be.

It's all I probably can focus on because it's kind of like everything I do at this point is a swan song.

This could be the last thing I do as a free man.

It really messes with your perspective because- (Tenant yelling) Hey, be quiet!

(Tenant yelling in the hallway) I'm trying to concentrate, man.

Like, that shit with her is all******* day.

- [Interviewer] Yeah, I know.

- Like, I mean all day of the hours and she like, oh my god.

(grunts) - [Interviewer] I think if we re spond, it just makes it worse, right?

Because she- - No, no, no.

Like she gets quiet once you get pissed off, you know, and that's a Tenderloin thing right there.

But yeah, you know what I mean?

Like, this is one of those things that I have to deal with 'cause I'm on******* house arrest, you know?

It's like I'm sitting, or surrounded by all these demons and it's like, you're gonna take me first out of the meat market and then you're gonna put me in the frying pan, in the skillet, now you're throwing me in the fire.

And it's like, wait, but how the hell does this supposed to help anything?

If you would've dealt with your******* problem from the gate, we wouldn't even be here.

If you would've dealt with the guy that just socked people walking by, we wouldn't be here.We have** *****' Mickey Mouse next door.

- [Interviewer] Yeah.

I'm sorry, man.

- Hello Tina, this is Jacqueline Evans.

I'm downstairs in front of your property on 36 Leland Street.

This is like some sort of restaurant down there, or... I don't know what's down there.

I literally looked at about 50 places and have like made a big giant list of the ones that I like.

People have like a stigma about section eight vouchers that oh that person is not good or this and that so they don't rent to you because you have section eight and it's like you're guaranteed rent all the time.

Like you're not gonna ever be late because the city pays you.

Not too happy with that first place, so I have some work ahead of me.

(people chattering) (Shirley humming) (Shirley speaks in Chinese) (Christina and citizen speak in Chinese) (passengers chattering) (child crying) (Shirley speaks in Chinese) (passengers chattering) (phone ringing) (Christina speaks in Chinese) (Christina speaks in Chinese) (cars passing) (wheels scraping) (Shirley speaks in Chinese) (cars passing) - [Sunbear] All the way, to the right.

(Marley laughs) (Sunbear laughs) - Bathtub.

Yeah!

(Marley laughing) Oh, yes.

- [Sunbear] What do you think, Fire?

Come here.

Let's go see our room.

- I already saw our room.- [Sunbear] Let's go look at it together.

I yell, "Go to your room!"

- Whoa.

Now we can kinda spy on people.

(Sunbear laughs) - This will be Amy's room.

Awesome.

- There's this lightsaber.

There's this lightsaber.

So whenever I need a lightsaber (lightsaber clicking) It's a little hard to get these out.

Shoved them in hard, so they won't fall.

(Zallah laughs) - Your feet will be that big one day.

Our whole apartment at first was this size, so maybe that may be why I sleep everywhere in this house because I'm still not used to, you know, not being confined to one tiny little space.

He doesn't understand that, but I know that that's what it is.

I don't like being in one tiny little space for too long so I sleep in random different rooms in the house.

- [Zallah] Mommy?

- [Jacque] Huh?

- [Zallah] We just build a house.

- You built a house?

- [Zallah] Yeah!

(Jacque laughs) I build a house.

- More... Don't knock that lamp down, Zallah.

(Zallah yells) So my daughter is supposed to be here during the week to go to school, but every now and then, maybe she loses focus, I don't know, and she'll just take off, so, you know.

She stole a car a couple of weeks ago and didn't show up to her court date so that's the biggest thing that I'm worried about right now is because she's not been complying with the rules of this house and you know, I had to give them a report of what she's been doing and that only made it worse.

All those years that passed by, those six years, all it did was get worse and worse and worse.

She fell deeper into, you know, the trap of being out in the street, so that fast lifestyle and all of that.

I don't think they take that stuff into account.

- [Sylvester] Like, have you ever seen that?

- [Employee] What's that?

- Like people that get on home detention, if they get super overweight, like do they start leaking over the monitor or somethin'?

- I haven't seen it, but I mean at the same time, I've never really been lookin'.

(Sylvester laughs) - Maybe I should draw that or something.

Because I gained a lot of weight since I've been on the ankle monitor.

Like, I gained like a smooth 60 pounds just being in the house all the time, not going anywhere.

Oh, well Anita, she worked some magic in a courtroom and she got my ankle monitor off.

I've been on this thing for almost two years.

You know, I still got my trial, I still got this thing loomin' over me and nothing's changed.

(Sylvester coughs) But it's a good thing that I could go to the doctors now on command, you know, like that's gonna be my second trip today is going to the doctors.

It's off.

That is so weird.

It feels weird not having it on my leg anymore.

(Sylvester chuckles) It feels weird.

Like I got used to having it on there.

Yeah.

All right, cool.

All right.

One, two, three.

All right, back to work.

(soft orchestral music) (soft orchestral music continues) (ventilator hissing) - Le manda saludar Lupita.

- Buenas tardes.

Este mensaje es para Estercita, mi querida amiga.

Soy Lupita, mi'ja.

Acurdate que, este, que la cantamos y que sali muy bonita.

Es un pez muy solitario, romntico y soador Nada por aguas profundas en la inmensidad del mar Yo estoy en contacto con tus hijos.

No est sola.

Estamos contigo, okey?

Bueno, mi'jita hermosa, bye.

(people chattering) (birds chirping) (lighter clicking) - Eh, it's been all right.

It's been all right.

It's just that this time I'm really, really, really stuck in the house.

You know, the way the world is right now, it's like everybody just only walked two months in my shoes, you know?

So it's like I know where everybody's at kind of right now mentally.

Due to the coronavirus, everything is legally backed up.

Anita called me and she made a deal for me.

She got a deal, like I'm agreeing to take the deal, which is, you know, like to take a felony assault deal.

I'm willing to take a chance on a year of probation and just having it put under the table than fighting it two years just to, like, have my name clear.

You know, having his family go through all this.

Having the people that's close to me go through all this.

It's like, I'd just rather take like the easy way out and just be done with it.

It's like, we believe that there's these ideal outcomes, but that's all they are is ideals.

(church bell tolling) - Muchas, muchas canciones tiene aqu.

Este parece ser un lbum de fotografas.

Minuciosamente, tirar lo que en realidad no sirva, este, como todas estas cosas, hacrselas llegar a sus hijos, pues.

Ella a lo mejor no tena buena relacin con su familia.

Ella no tomaba ese tipo de conversaciones.

Conmigo siempre estuvo feliz.

Me siento triste, pues, o sea y no s qu... A revisar a este a.... (birds chirping) (people chattering) - The job I have now is a community health worker apprenticeship program through a homeless prenatal program.

How far along are you?

- Nine months.

I'm due on the fifth, basically in three weeks.

- [Jacque] Oh, that baby gonna be here before you know it.

- Morning.

- How are you, Monique?

- [Jacque] Okay, I think we're gonna start.

- [Co-Worker] I'm just here.

I'm and let them do their thing.

(people chattering) - So thank you all for coming.

Well I do have a little poem for you guys.

What if you replace spirit with curiosity, excitement and optimism?

For example, you could change "I'm afraid to try this because I've never done it before" to "I'm so curious about this.

I'm excited to give it a whirl."

See the difference in this simple mindset shift?

Try it for yourself.

(residents applauding) - [Co-Worker] All right, on your marks, get set, go.

(residents laughing) - [Jacque] All right, Sabrina.

- [Resident 1] Sabrina.

(residents laughing) - [Sabrina] Done.

(people laughing) (people clapping) (people laughing) (people clapping) - My therapist said she's surprised I didn't try to kill myself years ago.

You know, she was like, "You have the mind state of a gladiator or something."

I'm like, "Ugh, okay, cool," you know?

It's all said and done, we just all dirt and that's all that matters.

You know, it doesn't matter how rich we are now.

When we leave here, we leave here equally.

You know, it's just what you leave behind.

Like I said, I left behind a lot of art and I don't, I don't have many regrets.

Faith, and this one's gonna be Charity.

And I want that one to be hope, which is Anita.

You know, my lawyer.

(chuckles) I told her that.

(soft acoustic music) (soft acoustic music) (singer sings in Spanish) (singer continues singing in Spanish) - [Host] Thank you for coming to the third workshop for Chinatown and District Three's... (singer continues singing in Spanish) (soft inspirational music) (cars honking) (soft piano music) This program brought to you in part with support from the following.

The Sundance Institute Humanities Sustainability Fellowship, The Center for Asian American Media, California Humanities, California Humanities, a partner of the NEH, the SF Film Documentary Film Fund, as well as support from the following.