HEARD

-What was your dream when you were a teenager? -My dream? -Yeah. -My dream, my thing was, I wanted to die so I could see who came to my funeral.

How many girls was going to cry. Who was going to do it big for me and stuff like that, and it was like, that's when I -- I think I woke up after that, too. Like, I'm like what the heck, like, that's -- that's crazy. No child should ever think like that.

Nobody in life should ever think, "Man, I can't wait till I die." I wanted to get killed so I can see who came to my funeral. How Imma see that? Yeah, that was crazy though, huh, you ever had a dream like that? -...yeah, about a mile away you heard some of those shots earlier tonight, Richmond has been very busy for detectives here in the last day or so.

Six shootings as you said in 24 hours... -...Christmas Eve, Richmond police responded for a double shooting. Police say two victims were taken to the hospital with one victim having life threatening injuries... -...Richmond police got a call about a person shot with a life-threatening gunshot wound, this is a look at that scene this morning.

That man is in critical condition at the hospital... -It was hard growing up. Gunshots in the morning, gunshots throughout the night to wake you up. Mama always say, "Hit the floor, and just hold your head." I have friends who have been shot, robbed, killed, for nothing at all.

It's like a cycle, I see it. I see it coming sometimes even before it even come. It'll keep you up cause you just want to do better. And then once you do better, you just want the community to do better.

But it ain't always that easy. It ain't just cut to the point like that and I wish stuff change. -Right now, someone could literally come through that cut right there with a gun drawn and be shooting at somebody. Or right now, you can say, wow, this is very peaceful.

You have people sitting on their porch enjoying the breeze. You got little kids riding a bike. You got a place to live. It's just a regular -- it's just a regular street, right?

What's so bad about it? -It's good and bad, and that's everywhere. Every environment, everybody got good and bad people. It just happens.

But it's bright people here, I would say. Its people in these projects right now as -- as we speak got potential. This, this my home, so everybody in this neighborhood to me, I want them to make it out. -It don't matter what I'm doing or how I'm doing it.

I'm always going to give back to my community because they going to need it the most and it'll benefit them. Kids never forget people coming out there showing them love, showing them respect from the gate, and showing them a different way to live. They always going to remember that. -What up, baby?!

Laughs

You didn't see me do like this? A lot of people take it out of character when they say, "Oh, the projects," or Mosby, and they hear the killing. What about the positive stuff? See, we don't get to do this type stuff.

You know, far as, like, being able to... we don't really get an outlet to really tell our story so people can really hear us. What you doing, eh? -We're called the unexpecteds, cause people don't expect us to get far in life.

People just don't expect kids from the projects to make it out or go far. They always think about the deaths or jail, that's the first two things that come to people mind when they think about kids from the projects, so I'm trying to show an example and be a leader to not show that. -A lot of the residents just want to be heard. -Her mom live right here.

-They just want somebody to listen, and to hear their stories -- they all have stories. -We used to sit out here all the time, have fun. -I get choked up on this. Because they just want to be heard.

-Well, my sister has a good garden in her yard, so one year she said, I said, Imma plant, I'm going to be like you, Imma to plant some flowers. So, she came over here and dug up all this dirt for me, and we was out here digging it up, and I ain't know it was that much work, and then ever since then, it's been about 4 years now, I've just been keeping it up. I grew up in Jackson Ward, which is called Gilpin Court, and back then growing up over there, it was just like family. Everybody just got along and that I really liked about us growing up in the projects.

Your family might be a little less, had less money than we had -- oh, well. I had friends they would love to come cause my daddy used to work at a grocery store. My mom worked. So, my dad, we always had groceries.

On Saturdays, when he bring the groceries, we had goodies. He'd bring a bag, the guys used to run, "Mr. Lynn, Mr. Lynn, can I help you?" I'd be amazed at that.

"No, my dad don't need y'all help," cause he'd give them a soda or something, you know, for help, and I used to be mean, I used to, "Nah, he don't need no help." But then I stopped, "No, you can't do that," because they trying to get stuff that they don't have, and it taught -- it teach you to appreciate people, you know, and accept people for who they are, and don't judge people, and that's one thing that growing up in the projects that I really, really learned, you know, that stuck with me and made me the person I am today. -Oh, my God, this is going to be great. I ain't been here in so long, yeah, this used to be our living room. Like, our couch was right there, this is the closet, yeah.

Yeah, they put this cabinet in here. This cabinet wasn't right here, cause we had a deep freezer right here. I love this hood, like seriously. Me, my family, everybody -- this is where we come from.

You can't knock it, you know what I'm saying. It made me the man I am today, I tell you that much. I love it too. I done broke my arm on this pole right here.

We had our washing machine right here... Everybody knew everybody in this area. My grandma used to be channel six. She was channel eight.

Again, we had Miss Geneva down there and that was channel 12. You couldn't do nothing in front of their house. They were like the -- I'm telling, they was -- they would tell on and tell you they don't care neither. That's where we had a tight knit community though.

Yup, this is my old house, man. Yup, from the age of one years old till I was like 16. Because of my story and because of where I came, it was only about this little black boy from Mosby Court. That's it -- a little black boy from Mosby Court, that tried, failed, got back, and God gave a second life to.

Alright, thanks man. -Well, yeah, this is -- this is where it started in. My whole childhood. I cry when I told a story that these gates right here are iron now, but they actually used to be the silver fences.

And I could only ride my bike or my skates, I could only roller skate from one end of the fence back to the other one. But I could not leave from in front of the door 2347, sitting right over there, the second house. And I could only sit on the front porch and I'm telling you, back in -- back in my day, now that's what you call fun. It was jump rope, double dutch, skates, bike riding, you had everything back then -- cheerleading -- but I couldn't leave from in front of that door or off that porch, and the first time I, you know, told that, tears ran down my eyes.

And I had no idea why I was crying and something that small I found out was really haunting me and, and just, really, it was a trauma for me. And I got past that trauma when I started talking to other moms and heard their stories of what they went through as a child, until it put me to shame and made me stop telling that story. Because people, some people went through a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of stuff, bad stuff. And, um...

And now as a 40-year-old, I know what my mom protected me from. Yep. -First house right here, right in the middle, that's where I grew up. 1201 Saint Peter St.

I grew up in Gilpin Court. Some people call it Jackson Ward, but it's Gilpin Court. It's -- it's poverty, it's happiness, it's sad, it's strong, it makes you out to be that man or that woman at an early age, and out here you gonna learn fast and you're gonna grow up fast. Baby!

-TJ! -Hey! My mom, she knew how to love and she had a big heart. And she wasn't a mom that'd tell me, if something happened, be macho, be muscular.

Shake it off, don't cry. She wasn't like that, like, she always told me, "Get it out, let it out, cry. Let it out, tell me how you feeling." And I think that's what kept us so close, because she -- she knew from a young age that I needed her the most. All our family stayed there.

You come there, you can eat. You didn't even really gotta ask for too much. My mama always give it to you. Early on I made a pact with my mom that I wasn't going to turn to the street life.

A lot of my friends were -- 'cause at this time I was a teenager, and already some of my friends was locked up or they had murder charges. And then on, like, I knew that she was scared.

Indistinct music from car radio

Some of my friends I just stopped seeing. Or they got into some legal trouble, kill someone, or they just end up in prison. They was dead or they was in prison. I seen the cars some of my friends had, I'd seen the money that they had, the clothes that they would wear, and I wanted that, and I wanted to be out there with them.

And I had this one friend who would tell me, and he was my age, "That's not you, TJ, go back in the house. What you need, some money? Here." He knew that that wasn't me, but he knew I started to slip away in a way, like, he didn't like it. Just him saying that, I listened to him.

I listened to him, so my temptation it definitely was there, but I was supposed to do something else. Like, I was here for something else and that wasn't one of 'em. -I was born and raised in a place called Fairfield Court, Richmond, Virginia. It was one of the craziest neighborhoods I have ever been in.

The hardest part about growing up was watching the neighborhood become violence and the people I grew up with became drug dealers and gangsters. I did not know who to trust. My thoughts process were destiny. Sometimes I saw and experienced, still have me traumatized to this day.

That's the first paragraph. -What was the assignment? -Uh, so a narrative essay, based on a story that happened in your life. It happened, an incident, it happened like two years ago, one of my friends got killed at a party I had.

So it's about that. -Okay, this is my brother, Majai, he incarcerated. My mom and my brother Majai, this is the kids' father. His roughest time was in high school.

His dad had passed away. And it got real bad for him. No, I think my brother passed away first, then his daddy had passed away. And it was just too much for him.

Memories. My life in whole. -Went to a lot of funerals. That past three months maybe, I went to like four funerals and then the last two months I went to four funerals, and then after that I went to another one, so it was kind of a difficult time for me and I was just trying to find somewhere to take it out on.

-Basically, everything a teenager that you don't want them to do, he used to do.

Laughs

-Can you give examples? -Run away from home, smoking, anything that you didn't want him to do, he did. As long as he's doing good, we don't talk. -We don't talk.

-If he messing up, I be like, we need to talk. -But if we-- -"Man, what's wrong, man?" So, um, someone here telling me you smoking weed. "Where you get that from?! Where you get that from?!" Instagram.

Be respectful, like, I'm your mama, you can't keep doing that stuff, like, nah. It was scary at first. Then I would just had to sit and talk to him. I was like, we gotta counselor appointment, let's mark your calendar we going.

He's like, "Okay." He knew he needed it. -I always wanted to do better, you know? But it was always hard. And, like, I knew in my mind I wasn't doing good.

But I was trying to do better. -Long as he being positive and discrete and not trying to have nothing, be cool, but once the negative start, I gotta correct it soon as I see it. If I see that they in trouble, that mean I'm in trouble with them. Can't give up on him.

Some gotta give but I couldn't take no for nothing. No option. That mean you giving up on him. I love him too much.

-Well, a lot of our black brothers has fallen prey to substance abuse. But they always have talent, and they have skill, and I always wanted to -- I always wanted to help them to get back to being that man that they can be without those drugs. And I was just, like, uplifting my black brothers. Nothing personal, but they've just been knocked down and beat down so much, it's just -- that's just a thing for me.

I just like to -- and I'll give you -- I'll give them chance, you know, person, I give chances, you know, 'cause I know it's hard sometime, you might get one to you, hey, sometime you might need three or four chances before you get it right. -This is crazy, man. This the jail hill. This is what we call the jail hill.

It was literally up the hill. That was it. It was literally up the hill. Like you can see -- you can see the -- When we were in jail, you could see these apartments and stuff.

You could see the house, I mean the -- Yeah, you could see all that when -- before they built the new jail. See, the new jail is right there too. But see the old jail was right, it was right here. It was right here.

Every project is centered toward the jail. Like, you got these projects, this is Mosby Court projects, you got Raven Street, you got Jackson Ward right there, you got Whitcomb Court right there. You got Creighton Court right there. You know, you got the bottom of Mosby.

Like, it's just so much you have and every part of these projects, you know what I'm saying, somebody is subject to go to jail, which is right down the street. And I lived right there. It was destined, I guess. -So, Von, where are we headed?

-Right now, we're headed to Lakeview and Meadow. This street right here is like basically everything. Imma take you through this alley. This where, like...

like everywhere round here, we used to stand out. Like, it was crazy. I caught my first indictment right here too. And I was sitting right there.

Chuckles

How you doing, sir? All right? And we used to stand out here and post up and you gotta take it on. Get it in.

We used to get it in out here. You grew up like me, we had six children in the house and seeing my mama, my step-daddy going back and forth to jail, and then, you know so it was like, I just want to help my mama. And I wanted to be the man. And you know like I say, anybody that say they woke up and said, "I want to be a drug dealer," or "I want" -- you know?

It's not true. That's not true. People say, "I was born to -- I was born to sell drugs." Nah, you weren't. I see why everybody, like, everybody used to live over here stuff used to have so much money.

I'm like, "What am I doing that they do -- oh, they a got house out there! Okay!" Once I started living out here that's when I seen the most money. One day big boy Vic gave me, like, a whole bunch of -- like, he gave me, I'm like, "What the hey? He like, "Man, put in it your house," I'm like, "Oh, alright," man, he gave me a whole lot of work, so I don't know.

Yup, after that he gave me my first job. Yup, it was him. He gave me my first sack. And from there it was just on then.

This was the alley. Whatever you wanted, whatever you needed. Everything went down. We never went nowhere -- this is it.

People are always be asking like, what else, but this was all we knew. We ain't know nothing else. The stuff we seen, like, it looked good, but we didn't know, like, the turmoil that it brought. I can say, you know, because you seeing nice car, you seeing the girls, you seeing the guys with the sets, you know, they got chains on, you know, you -- they like, dang, man, that man is living.

He living life -- but we didn't know by us being kids, man, he miserable as heck! Only thing we see is what's in front of us. We don't know he going home at night, gotta watch his back, you know what I'm saying, people might try to rob him -- we didn't know that part. What I thought...

I supposed to did to become the man, I guess, you know, to become successful in the -- the ugly world? It wasn't true. -When I was in school, I had a mentor. And she took me to...

I think she took me to the rocks. And I've never been to the rocks. -The rocks? What are the rocks?

-It's like just James River. So, my mentor took me to James River, and just being out there, like, just fresh air, like, not being around so much chaos, it gave me some kind of peace. It felt so good just being out there, seeing something different, being around people who just liked being outside. I never knew how that could really change a kid, but that really changed me, like, I'm just looking, like, "Man, this is just simple," like a trip to James River, like, just being in nature just making me feel like this.

It's a lot of things I could be doing. There's a lot of things I never seen. Just seeing that, like, I knew early on, I was like, there's more out there. There's more to see.

But my thing was, how I'm going to see it? My cousin used to always tell me, "You can come play some football with us." He's like, "You gotta get some guys in your neighborhood to come play with you," and he's like, "it's the Ashland Vikings out here, and I want you to play." I say, "Man, alright, Imma play." My cousin used to always tell me and told me, Tony, they used to tell me, like, this a whole other ball game. These guys really know how to play. You gotta learn the game.

My mentality was I just wanted to be the best. Everybody knew I could hit, but can I do it in a game and stuff like that. That's when it started to come into play, and then when it start happening in the games, that's when they knew, okay, alright, this kid got something. He can play some football.

That's when I was like, "Yeah!" I finally have -- somebody said it -- I can really play now. So, I was happy. Like, football was my escape. -Opposing teams would always warm up on that field over there.

And we would always warm up in that little space right there. -This was the place to be. -It was the place to be. -It kept me on the path of making the right decisions because my mom didn't want me to stay around here.

She wanted me to experience something that really take this thing serious. And that's where it all started with. Yeah, I got to a point where the running back ran exactly where I wanted him to run. Football got me in college.

Bethany College in West Virginia. Just being up there and learning in a different environment, meeting new people, communicating, like, I felt proud, and everybody else was right there with me. So, I go here, I plant here. But I always come back.

'Cause I know where you going. -Yeah, so -- -I did okay. But I wasn't a starter, so I started to think, like, am I really that good? It wasn't that I couldn't do the things that I was being told, just like I just always felt like I wasn't getting the fair shot.

A lot of times my aggression came, and when it came, it came. If you strong and I know how to come directly to you, and just lay a shoulder. Or just run completely through you. They always tell us, "Don't hit the quarterback," and I hit the quarterback but I didn't take him to the ground.

And he tried to act as if I hurt him so bad, and the coach told me to get off the field. So I got off the field and I ain't come back. -You lay a shoulder on him and just, boom, they'd be down. -I was there for like a semester.

I wasn't too sure about what I was going to do in college. I just used to think, like, what am I doing in here? I'm just playing football, and now football gone. And I'm working.

I just was like, alright, what's the next step? What am I going to do? How am I going to get back home? I came back home, and that's when I realized that my mother was getting put out of the housing project, and I had money to pay for the rent and everything like that, but she was just telling me like, "No, son, you keep your money.

It's okay. It's going to be okay." She wanted me to stay in school and graduate. So talked to some people, asked around, they say, "You can see if you can get into Virginia Union," and, um, "talk to this person." I talked to him. He helped me get into Virginia Union.

True statement, whether that happened the day or not, I gotta get better. The streets don't love you back because they don't have no personality. I was in class, and the professor, asked the class, like, you know, can you guys present a book at the end of the semester. She believed everybody got a story to tell.

She believed that we can do it. You can't be yourself. Don't want to be stuck trying to be someone else, living with no meaning becomes easy. It just felt so good, man, to accomplish something again.

I had a void to fill, and it was football. I didn't have it anymore. So that took its place. I was glad I got my story out there.

I told my truth, and other people can be motivated by me doing this. It will enlighten somebody else. It will enlighten that next kid and I just wanted to give that motivation to him. And when they see a face that so familiar, know that they understand, like, that this man ain't just write this book for himself, he did it for everybody else behind him.

It's so easy doing the wrong thing. Good becomes hard. We tend to give up. Look at where you are now and try to get where you need to be.

-We at Legacy.

And it's 9

00 a.m. And we getting ready for practice around this time. Well,

practice at 9

30, then after practice we do journal and language arts for the first half, then we do lunch, and after school I practice again and go to work.

Indistinct conversation

practice at 9

-Fifteen minutes! -Hey! -Fifteen minutes! -Legacy is a private school.

Legacy is a bike school, Legacy is a family, a brotherhood. So, they grab a couple people from different neighborhoods, bring them together, make a family for them. -So, what is it about riding that you like so much? -I would say looking at everything actually, and it's peaceful 'cause I don't have nobody around me.

I let go a lot of stress that I got into me, so that's some good about cycling. Like, you let go of everything. And I think about my dad a lot too, so that give me -- like, it help me a lot, it's a lot you gotta think about when you ride a bike anyway. It's actually hard.

-Let's go! -What does success look like to you? -Making my mama proud actually. Getting away from all the negativity.

Being somewhere that I know other people can't be, like, far away. Success is, like, buying my mom a home, putting some clothes on my brother and sister back. That's what I want. That's a dream for me too.

That's a big step for being, like, their dad, since they don't have a dad, so... I ride bikes because of that, because of my family. Become something better, yeah. Hey, come on, y'all, line it up!

-Up, turn around here, follow us all the way down, follow us all the way up to here, that's one. All right, head out! -It was hard, to lose somebody that put me into this world, but I think of it like my dad was in and out my life. I wish he was better as a man, 'cause I couldn't look up to him.

That was not a person I needed to look up to. It was just drugs, and certain things that he supposed to did as a dad that he didn't do. He weren't there, but it's my dad, so it was always respect for him. I wish -- I wish he was still alive though.

I wish he was here to see this. I wish he was here so I could better hisself, help him out. Yeah. -He's got one of the biggest hearts of anyone I've met.

That kid has been through a lot. A lot of people close to him have died, more so than other people that I know. It really affects him every time. He really shuts down.

-Oh! -He used to be the kid that was always... always disrupting class and always bringing others down. Like, trying like trying to stage mutinies.

Like, we're not doing that. They'd all agree, and talking them into mutiny.

Laughs

practice at 9

He was a huge thorn in my side. -Them being there every day after school, and them pushing me so hard, and me wanting to quit so much, it was just a time for me to let all that out, and I just did, and it just was all because of stress. It was nothing they did, honestly, it was just things I was going through in the past, and I just needed to let it out. -We put him out of the program four times.

"You can't do this right now, you're bringing everything down, take this season off. Maybe if your head's back, come back in a couple months, we'd love to have you, but right now we can't." -I didn't get it really. Like, I did 'cause I messed up. I know.

But it was like, they was not trying to accept me for a while, like, they was really trying to make me learn lessons. I learned the lesson. That was the opportunity I had, and I didn't take advantage of it, and I wish I did at that time. -Coming back to the program, he's just like, it's fun to ride bikes, he likes it.

That's probably what brought him back every time. And we would go -- we would reach out to him, be like, hey, man, it's been a couple months, how's your head, like, how're you feeling, do you want to do this? And he would always say yes. -Doing different things I never did changed me.

Being around people I never been around changed me. Getting better grades changed me. Going to a better school changed me. You just ain't going to be the same person forever.

You always got to change. So that's what really happened. Me being around a different environment, being around different people changed me. -I'm honored, you know, I appreciate the opportunity to share my story because my story is just like everybody else story.

You know, only the opportunity I didn't get is what y'all getting now, and that's us taking time out our schedule and coming here and trying to give y'all something that wasn't given to us. You know what I'm saying? We believe in y'all. You know, somebody had to believe in me until I believed in myself.

I always wanted to be a barber but if I ever would've told my friends that I wanted to be a barber they would've laughed at me, they would've -- "Man, you're a clown, man, you want to be a barber for real?" But that was my dream. It's nothing nobody in life can ever tell y'all that y'all can't do if y'all want to do it. That's just what it is. But when you see -- you have friends around you that's telling you, "No, you can't do that," man, them the ones you need to cut off.

'Cause they going to stop you from your dream. They going to stop you from your gift. And you will never -- you know where you going to find your gift at? In jail.

-...without the bell, how y'all doing? -We took my Community Conversations, which is a program that I run on the radio. We just did it live in the jail. And so, the Belief program at the time was that program, so they had the therapist there, they had the counselors there, of course; everybody that was a part of that program.

They were all there. I meet this guy with four golds in his mouth. And I was like, okay, those golds match your jumpsuit! Get out!

So that's how, I mean... And I was like, this is so amazing!

Cheering and applause

practice at 9

-Von got that opportunity to speak. He was like literally sitting on the front row. And to hear him speak about his life, and he was a good person, but he didn't make the good choices. -When they close them cells at night, you in there by yourself.

You know I'm saying, so don't nobody know what you're going through, what you're doing, none of that. But see, every time I would go in at night, I would pick the Bible up. I would give myself -- you know, I would read, I would read. And it was just convicting me.

Like, you shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do, and I'm like, I don't know God, like, oh, you know, so I think he spoke to me, man. You know, I think it was like, if you really want to change, let me see how much you're willing to do to make this change. -So I was up there talking to a guy, right, and I'm like, man, what's up, man? You know, I was telling them all the stuff that I was trying to do.

I said, I'm tired, man, I don't want to do this no more. So he introduced me to a tier called the Belief Program. He was like, "Man, you need to come over there with us, man." I'm like, "Man, I don't care where they send me, man, I'm just ready to change my life," You know what I'm saying? So he was like, "Alright." He said, "I'm going to get them to put you over there." So of course I was already wanting to change, so when I got there it was like a breeze for me, like, it was like, man, I'm just -- I don't care about all these rules, I don't care about nothing.

I'm just ready to follow them, just, please, just help me -- help me help me. You know what I mean? -He had a loving mama who has six children. She had to work.

She did the best that she could do for her children. But you see guys that are in the community they're making their money. Well, if you're living in the housing project, you got six kids, it's a struggle. So, hey, get the bag.

You get the bag. Oh, my God, they got the bag! I want in too. And then maybe he didn't want in.

He just wanted to look like it, and then once you get in, you start making that money and that's it. But that doesn't take away from you being a great person, because it was always there. You can't make it up. You can't make up a Von Johnson.

It was there the whole time, but something had to tap into it. I don't believe that people should have to go to jail or prison to learn, but that is, in some instances, that's the only way we learn differently. It gives us an opportunity to take a breather and say, "That wasn't me. This is the real me.

And I'm not going to be ashamed to be the real me." -Yeah, you know, like, that jail, that jail, I say, I can actually say jail changed my life. -He didn't stop until he was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And that's the only way you can stop anything, so it could have started the first time he went to jail, or that final time he went to jail, but all I know, he is doing his best to stay out of prison for life, by giving back to the community that has so freely given to him. -I use to say, why God?

I did everything I could right, you know -- why me? Why do I get stuck with certain things that was happening to me, and then it was like, as you got older, and I got more into my spirituality, it was like, if you hadn't have went through those things, you wouldn't be able to be that person I need you to help to get those people out. Because in order to help somebody, and really, especially when you're dealing with people that's coming from that'd been knocked down, torn down and they just -- and they just at they last. To help somebody like that, you kind of like had to kinda like walk in some of those shoes.

I had to go through it so I could know that I could tell people, "It's not easy." A lot of things that I've been through physically, mentally, lot of things. It's not easy. But you just gotta -- gotta keep the faith. This breeze feel good.

-Thank y'all for coming. -I'm Cotina. -Nice to meet you. -Same here.

-Today we are doing a woman to woman conference. We are here just to motivate women, to encourage women, to inspire women, to go for it; go for it. Whatever it is that you want to do, go for it. I am Cotina Brake, and on today, I want to share my personal journey with you all.

I grew up in Fairfield with my mom and my sister in the household. I didn't have a bad childhood. I didn't start to feel like it was actually bad until like, you know, school years, sometimes being picked on for not maybe having, you know, name-brand shoes or name-brand clothes. Those feelings that were accumulated in school, developed some of my mind set and my mentality, you know, as I got older.

Transitioning on, you know, through life. I was a bad little girl. I started being or feeling, like, overwhelmed with now guys liking me instead of picking on me. So once that transition hit round about middle school, it drew me in, and so I started liking guys, and just liking that attention from guys, you know, at a young age.

Sometimes you're going to have to remember you're 15 or 16-year-old self. By the time I was 15, you know, I had my first child. I turned 16, you know, that September, she was probably about a month or so old. So I'm 16, I'm working, I have a child, I've dropped out of high school, and two years hit so fast, you know, now I'm 18, so all I'm thinking about is getting my own place, but of course I go to Chamberlain Avenue, headquarters of RRHA, and apply for my own place.

October, I moved into Whitcomb Court. Eighteen, two bedroom, and again, all I did was, you know, work, came home, hung out with friends, you know, life just journeyed on from there. I didn't have my next child though until I was 19. I'm living in public housing.

It's based on income. The majority of my money went to shopping. I didn't have a checking account, you know savings account, you know, I'm just, right now, I'm just living. So just know that if you are being blocked that there's something better ahead for you.

Life really, really did not become, "Oh, that's what I should have been doing," until, like, 30s. You know, my brain, you know, just did not piece together the puzzles of life, and so when I think back to my childhood if I could speak through myself right now, I think if I had a better relationship with my father, if my father would have, you know, had these conversations with me about from a male perspective. If my father would have, you know, even if him and my mother wasn't together, but if he had co-parented with her on raising me, then maybe, maybe I could have told, you know, the first little boy, "No." Maybe if I had someone saying "I love you" every day, then I wouldn't have longed for......hearing it from anybody. Because anybody could tell you that they love you, and if that's all you want to hear is "I love you," then when someone says it, it's everything that you ever wanted to hear.

And so, you gravitate to the person that says they love you, whether they're showing you they love you or not. Because now, this is all you wanted, was to hear it, really. I don't know what my life could have been, all I know is what it is. You know, I fully understand that, you know, a lot of my life I tried to relive through my children.

You know, the material things, the wasting money on, you know, brands, name brands, and just wasting money and time that, okay, the money you can get back, but look how much you wasted. That could be in a savings plan for these kids, you know -- I wish I could turn over a bank account to them versus a photo album book of the shoes and clothes that they were dressed in. You know, what happened throughout your childhood created these thoughts that, you know, you gotta do better, but not even knowing how to do better, you're kinda, you're lost. And so, I really just try to find my way.

You know, I beat myself up a lot, but it is never too late to find your way. It's never too late to find your way. -I'm going to get me something to drink, for real. -Appreciate you.

-All right. -All right, you have a good one. -Thank you. -When I came back from Bethany College, my girlfriend told me that she was pregnant.

And my heart dropped. Immediately I told her that I wasn't ready to be a dad, and, like, we shouldn't have this kid. I started thinking about, like, how did I make her feel when I told her to get rid of it? I got sisters so I was looking at it from their standpoint.

I was like, if a dude told my sister that, I would go crazy. What was you thinking? She needs an apology, like, who knows what she going through? I had called her the next week, and I told her that I was sorry that I told her to get rid of it.

She was like, "It's okay." For her to forgive me and trust me at the same time, that gave me even more motivation to do what I was supposed to do.

Infant wailing

practice at 9

It was like one of the most happiest times of my life, and it was scary too. I'm just holding her, I'm like, "I'm really your dad. Nothing going to change that, like." I just kept kissing her and kissing her, like, kept holding her and holding her. I didn't want no body to touch her.

Like, this is my child, like, you know, I knew then on, like, I had to step up. -I used to sell anything I got my hands on. If a guy was in the neighborhood, he had toilet tissue, he had about 100 rolls of toilet tissue, I see what the price point was, and instantly I started to go to work. So if I brought the whole box of 100 for $50, then I knew I was going to sell every tissue in there for at least $2.

And that's what I did. And from then on I was like, I going to use this money to buy something else. But right around that time, I was writing my book, so I put the tissue money into buying my actual book myself because I was getting it at a certain price. I was getting like $2 and I was selling for $10.

I used the book money and bought me a camera. Me and my friends, my two friends, we made a documentary, interviewing all the local rappers, and we sold it. I'm like, "Man, we're really doing this!" I'm like, man, I'm getting good with the camera. I'm going to get a better camera.

So I got another camera and I really started taking it serious. Started doing music videos. Then one day one of my sister's friends said, "Hey, TJ, come over here play some music for us. You got a lot of music on that laptop." Love music, everybody in here are dancing -- I'm going to start DJ'ing.

So, I was DJ'ing, I was taking pictures, and I was making music videos. So, I had money coming in all kinds of ways, and I'm pretty good out here. So, I just wanted to figure out how to keep everything flowing and going, while still being a dad and stuff. I learned through trial and error how to get things done and really make some real money, and I'm still doing that to this day.

Alright man. -Alright man. -Come on boy. -This is how I, like, changed -- that's my brother.

He was more my kids' father figure. So I was on the outside, so everything they did, he corrected. But when he passed away, I had to step up and be their mama. I couldn't take it no more.

My brother, his death was like a couple of blocks from our house in Fairfield. And then it was like, it was too much. You gotta walk past where he died. You get tired.

So every day I just say, we moving. Every year.

Laughter

practice at 9

Probably two years. They was like, "Ma, you say that every year." I say, "We're moving. I promise you." It was in 2013, then I started doing double shifts in 2014. This what it was, it started from here.

When I first set my goal, I was working, like, six days a week and one day off at first. Sometimes I'd work seven. Sometimes I probably work five, but just doing doubles, and then I had my little two days off, 'cause I know my body was giving out on me. My body was like, "Coco, don't do it." -It hurt it, my 9th and 10th grade year not having my mom around, like, with school, not being around for breakfast, dinner, lunch.

You know, that's kind of tough, 'cause everybody need a support system.

00 till 11

00.

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00. So basically when they was getting home from school, I was going to work -- for a year. Then I realized I heard somebody voice sound deeper, and different, so that's when I realized I gotta pump that back

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00, see them, spend time with them. -She had to step up to the plate then, to put that work in, 'cause nobody else was there to pay the bills so I know it was a hard time for her, it was a hard time for us as well. -I think Christmas, two years ago, I saved up enough. So instead of having gifts for Christmas, I gave them a house.

We came that night of Christmas, like, the house was empty, it was like "Ma, this -- what's this?" I say, "This is our house, we live here now." It was like, "This our house?" I said "Yeah, y'all got your own room, y'all, this is our house." They was happy, very happy. Very, very, very, happy. -First night moving in here was very unexpected, it was a surprise, most grateful gift I ever had in my life. We have a lot of sports games.

I like having my own room. I love having my own room. It's my own privacy, so, yeah, I like having my own room. Good shot, I'm going to come back and shoot one for you.

I can focus better here 'cause I don't have to worry about what's going to happen in the next day. Like, here I just feel safe. In Fairfield I didn't. So, I'm not more stressed out about what's going to happen to me the next day, so that's been a good stress reliever.

Hey, you never beat me in this game yet. I learned from my mom she never give up easily, she's a pusher, you know. My mom is just the queen of my house. So...

There's a lot about that lady, but as of right now, she's just our leader. I love her to death. -Hey, little mama! Hey, girl!

Hey, Miss Debra!

Laughs

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From 2011 to 2018, this was home. -Normally during the month, I would go out at least once a month and hand out calendars of the activities that I offered. So, Ms. Brake used to be in her kitchen window, and I would see her, and she would wave, or she would knock on the window of her kitchen and acknowledge that she saw me.

Eventually it got to the point where she came to the door, she actually opened the door. And I said that to her -- "I can't believe you opened the door." -You know, she didn't make me feel bad for talking to her through the window. She didn't -- you know, when she came back, she didn't bypass my house. She still stopped.

She didn't judge me. Wrap it all up. She didn't judge me. -What you find sometimes is people are in their circumstances so much that they can't see past that; and she was able to see past that, and I think, once she got the vision, that was it, everything was open at that point to her.

So she looked for opportunities and resources and things that she could do and get herself involved in. -And so, my life really started to shift when I started to join these programs that, of course, I knew programs were out there, but I just didn't know what would best fit my life. -It's a lot of self-motivation that you have to have, because things don't always work and sometimes people give up. She just never gave up.

She always found something good, even in failure. Well, not even failure, but even disappointment -- she just never let anything stop her. Once she started, that was it. -Me connecting to Miss Daniel and to other people, and just strings of links of connections got me to where I am today.

-I felt that Cotina wanted to make change happen. She just needed some time to figure out what was going on on the other side of the fence when we first met. -Gotta look forward. -Gotta look forward.

Sandee just started preparing me for things. It was like, when you come off of Medicaid and food stamps, you know, how are you going to pay for these doctor bills? How are you going to pay for groceries, you know, and still live? -At the end of a year and -- year and a half, Cotina was like, "Miss Sandee, I'm ready to be a homeowner." I said, "Okay!

So, she said, "What can I do?" So, I said, um, "The class you took, the credit class, will also help with home ownership." -My children and I made a decision. I said, you all can get your own place, that's fine. But we're leaving here. So get you an apartment guide...

I told them that we could put up, you know, about $500 a month, and we could, you know, that could be for the house, you know, if we purchased a home together. And my daughter, my oldest daughter is like, "$500?! No, no, there's no way, there's no way that we need to put up $500 a piece." She already had the mindset, like, "I'm going to get my own place," and so... But she went looking for an apartment in Short Pump.

And so, when she got those prices, when she got that price list for Short Pump, she came running back. "Yeah, like, let's talk about that number that you said. Remember that $500 that you said we could put up?" She was like, "Yeah, I think we ought to do that. I think we -- I think that would be better.

Let's just stay together." So I'm like, "You know what? Okay, you know, we can just go in it together and do this together." So, um, that's what we ended up doing. You know, you can do it... you can do it.

I'm not saying -- it was stressful, I had some sleepless nights, I had some stressful days. I had some angry moments. I had some mad moments. You know, by all means, I don't want to paint this beautiful picture like something is just perfect for me and my family, because it's not.

It was never perfect, it just was worth it. -God is there. He's taking you through things that you going to need to have been going through in order to be -- take what he's blessing he got to bless you with and be able to use it in a good way. You see what I'm saying?

It's like I don't want to give you something here if you're not really ready, 'cause you wasn't going to be prepared. And then you might not use it in the right way, and it won't be a blessing to you. It might end up being a hinder to you. So, you got to go through this so you can appreciate and understand and develop that sense of compassion.

-Ain't nothing like waking up every morning, coming to work, doing something you love to do. You know, like, I love barbering. I go to sleep thinking about cutting hair, I wake up thinking about cutting hair. I -- throughout my day, I go out, I'm like, man, how can I get better?

You know, it's like I'm always trying to advance myself or advance my skills because it's so much more in barbering than just cutting hair. When you're dealing with people, you know you have to make people feel good about theyselves. You gotta make them feel special. You gotta -- I make people feel like they my only client.

I ain't lying, they -- they, man -- I make them feel -- but that's how confident I am in what I do. You know, and I love, like I said, I love it. Barbering changed my life. Like, it did something for me nobody else could've did, like, between God and barbering, I'm here.

Yup. That's it. Now we at the shop. Time to go make this money.

-Welcome back. -We'll get it right here. Not only is he a client, but he also one of the guys... He works in the jail, so...

Laughs

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At first I used to run from these guys, now they come to get a haircut from me.

Laughs

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You going down in history, Von. Von going down in history as world's best barber. Yes, sir. He did it.

He did it. And I keep telling him, just being the best barber don't mean I cut better than everybody in the world, that don't mean nothing. It's, what are you willing to do to make yourself over the top. You know what I'm saying?

Dog, I almost found myself cutting hair on Fairfield Avenue, the other day. I thank God for activating my gift before it was too late, and it was almost too late. I think this time if I would have came home doing the same thing, I think I wouldn't have made it this time. I wouldn't have made it.

Everybody got something that they ain't tell nobody that they want to do -- they really don't want to be in the game, but circumstances and situations put us there. Barbering is the reason why I'm not selling drugs now. I can guarantee you that one. 'Cause, if I would have been working at any other job, this conversation wouldn't be going on.

God put us in position for a reason, man. I can almost guarantee everybody that's ever been in the situation like I've been in, been in the streets, or in the streets and trying to get out, I guarantee they got something that they want to do in life. I feel like my thing now is to help encourage people, like, that's what I feel like God -- 'cause it couldn't have been no better -- man, I was a person that never wanted to help nobody, like, dude, I can't help you! I can't even help myself, how am I going help you?!

And then you telling me that I'm that person now and then I like it, like, I really like helping people, like, I don't mind going out, talking to somebody, letting them know my story, or even letting them know -- like, I am not going to tell you what to do, but this is what I did. You know, what worked for me might not work for you. Woo-hoo-hoo, I ain't even finished, though! It's going down, baby!

-Hey, Ryan. -Yes sir. -I'm done. -Rock and roll, good job.

-Before I came to Legacy, there was never no college for me. I never thought about it, never dreamed about it. I never wanted to go. So when I came and I know what I needed, so I need college.

I need to be around them people. And I'm going to get very, very fast on the bike. I'm going to visit Warren Wilson today. North Carolina, Asheville.

We're going to train with the team, go visit the campus. So that's something great. They got top five in the country, the cycling team. And I have been there before.

And it's a great area that I want to be at, big mountains. Lot of farm, too. I got actually, like, being around pigs and cows and stuff in Asheville when I went there.

Cattle lowing

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Like, I never seen a pig actually until I went to Warren Wilson. That was -- that was crazy. And everybody think it was funny 'cause everybody seen a pig before and I didn't, so it was, like, it was a big surprise to me to see a pig and cows and all that.

Lowing

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-In October I visited Richmond Cycling Corps and made a presentation to the class and most of the students were pretty excited but Demonte just like stood out. Like, he was so excited. -All right, bike maintenance. -First offer came in, he had to fill out the college application, so he was like, "What college you went to?" I said, "I never been to college," He say, "You never been to college?" And I'm like, "No, you're going to be the first." -I'm supposed to receive a letter between this week or next week, so...

It's a great opportunity. I hope I get accepted. -I don't want him to go real, real far, 'cause we got a good bond right now, and I'm gonna miss him. -Woo!

I think I'm going to cry. I actually think I'm going to cry. The first person I think I'm gonna call is my mom. That'll be an exciting moment for me and her.

-Really seemed to have connected with campus, with the community. The team all love him, and can't wait for him to be here, and, I mean, I think he just feels it here. But we need to make sure that everybody is set up for success. -Yeah, I think I see myself there.

Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully I get accepted. -Got a car that way, guys. -My mom had cancer. And she had cancer for a long time.

I didn't know until it was too late. I packed all my things up, and I moved right on in to her place and took care of her. When she passed, a lot of things started to fade away. You start to lose feeling.

I didn't want nobody to feel bad for me. I didn't want nobody to cry for me. I just wanted to figure out what I was going to do with myself, 'cause I was just lost. I called my daughter.

I called her and I asked her to stay with me. She said, "I was going to ask you that already. I'm going to stay with you." My daughter stayed with me that night. She held me, she went to sleep with me, that was that.

She -- that's all I asked for. I needed her, she showed up. A little girl taking on all that responsibility being around me. -I'm gonna win.

Come on. Come on. Please? -Alright, come on.

I couldn't let her see me break down and stuff because I had to still be a dad too. I wanted her to, like, see my strength in a way, because I don't want her to feel like I feel, so to take on that, I just had to hide it from her until I knew, you know, I could be around her without crying all the time. I could be having the craziest day, she could walk in here and just lighten up my day. As much as I lighten up hers, she's going to lighten up mine.

Like, she love me, I love her back. She just giving me that energy, that I could be lacking earlier that day, and just her being around me, like, I'm back. I feel whole again, yeah. Say hey.

-Hey. -Say hey, like, "Hey!" -Hey. -There you go, see? That's a little bit better.

-Cookie. -You want a cookie? Cookies and cherries, serious combination. -Really?

One cookie? -There you go. What? It's alright.

There's always a habit of eating her stuff, I don't know why. And I already had cookies. I just got to eat a piece like she's still an infant. She's growing too fast, man, I swear.

Laughter

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-Big girl! How's grandma's big girl? Can you say hi? I just feel like there's nobody in this world that cannot shift their mentality.

You talking about someone who just did the same things every day, and it wasn't that it was bad things, it was just, I wasn't doing anything to grow. You want your auntie? No? No.

Being educated about parenting, it helped me learn things about myself, and it helped me learn ways of being a better parent for my children, and so now my children can be better parents than I was to their children. And so, look at the generational habits that's starting to already change. If I can share with someone that's going through something that I could possibly help that person shift their whole mentality, once they shift their mentality, the child or whomever is in that household is going to reap the benefits of that shifting of mentality to a positive state. And so now they're going to change some generational habits.

The food ready. To be born and raised in the projects, and then your child is not; and then you can teach your child from a young child, how to balance a checkbook. A checkbook I'd never seen as a child. Never.

But my grandchild will. Credit that I never had as a child, never had as a young adult, but my grandchild has credit. What you see in that mirror? And then she'll be able to take those lessons and those things and teach her children -- that's major.

That's major. Thank you, Lord, for this food we're about to receive, bless the hands that prepared it, bless those who partake of it, bless those who are less fortunate. Amen. -Amen.

Child babbles

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Amen!

Laughter

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-I mean, it's just like a challenge for me to go to college, just to meet new people. I'm just more worried about college than biking or anything. I'm just worrying about fitting in, like, college environment. All the ladies in my family got good jobs, it's just the man, and I'm going to be the first man to set that example for the younger generation in my family.

I just need to set that example for everybody, wake with the men up in my family, you know, be that leader. I'd like to thank all of you for coming today. It means a lot. I can't believe it here, and many others probably can't either.

This has been a goal of mine. It has been a long journey. I wish -- I wish my pops was alive to see me graduate today. I hope you're proud of me today, Pops.

Mom, thanks for fighting for me the last past 18 years. There have been hard times, we've pushed through them together. -As of right now it does look like he's going to take a year to go to community college get those core credits out of the way, and then transferring in next year to be able to come to Warren Wilson, come to the cycling team; in the meantime we're going to be working on a lot of different scholarship opportunities to make that 100% feasible for him, because we do have some scholarships but we also want to make sure that he's ready, he's prepared to be here. -Will the graduating class of Legacy Academy 2019 please rise.

-Hold one in one hand. -Oh, lord, mama. -Yes! This a proud moment, child.

-I had my doubts, like, three years ago, but every year change. Rough bumps, but we made it.

Laughter

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He made it. Very proud.

Laughter

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-My life just getting started. It's just the beginning. College the beginning. Me graduating is the beginning.

New life, new time, new things I got to do, accomplish. Life ain't over. -Oh, that girl had a big smile... I got to look at that again.

I think I tickled her feet... That girl was happy, boy. "Words from Dad. When I look into your gentle face, all my problems seem to fade away.

My beautiful, adorable, and smart little girl, you are placed on a pedestal to be honored, cherished, and treated like Daddy's little princess. Just know my shadow is behind you, to give you a gentle nudge for your heart desires. I'm filled with so much love for Tori." Man, this -- this seven years old right here. So, I never read it.

I wrote it and read it and put it in the book. I was scared to meet her. Then when I saw her, like, everything changed, like everything. I couldn't no longer live for myself then.

-He takes me places. The river and the park. I like to put my feet in the river. -I know you can't wait.

Girl hey! -No! -I know let's put your feet in, come on. I'm supposed to do better for my child, and I will.

Every day I got to prepare myself. I know where I'm supposed to be. And I won't stop until I get there. Also, I know what environment she's under.

I know that, mentally, I got to take her somewhere else. Oh, no. -Stop! -Oh, my little baby.

You can live here but, mentally, like, it's better things out there. That's not to throw shade on anything that anybody else got going on, but it's the progress with me, like, if you not progressing, like, what are you here for? A lot of people don't know what they're here for or what they purpose are. I'm just glad I found mine.

-Look, there's a bird! See? Two! -I also know I got to build a foundation for her.

You know, her and her kids. I got to teach her the way, but it all going to start with me before anything else, and, um, I'm going to make it happen. -How rocks get wet that quick? -When you grew up in the certain place you claim that place.

You know what I'm saying? If you make it out, and you know how it was, and you know and you see, it's like, no, I'm coming back to my community. I'm going to come back where I first, where I got all this from. All this part of who I am as a person came from living out here.

So, I'm giving back to my community. That's like, you got to pay it forward. -Who knows how to tie a tie? Alright.

I want the people that think they know how to do it on the first go to come up here. When they tie their first tie, and how they smile, and how they embrace, like, man, I know how to tie a tie. It's just amazing to see kids growing to being mature young men. A'ight?

A'ight? We good? What we are preparing them for is to be able to take on this world, man. If you not prepared, man, you -- you hit.

I weren't prepared for life. And that's why I made the decision that I made. Because I weren't prepared. I had no one to prepare me.

Tighten it up on your neck. How to you tighten it on your neck? They don't even understand, like, how we love these kids 'cause we know, like, all the love that we didn't get, we give to them. I'm hugging them.

I'm loving on them. They think I be playing, but when I hug them, like, dog, it do something for me too. I didn't get hugs like that from my dad. My dad -- I don't even know.

My dad never hugged me. I can't name one time when my dad hugged me. There's going to be a day, y'all going to have to tie a tie. If I can be their father figure for them, like, ain't no kid, no kid left behind.

-Monte started the AJC Cycling team. It's a middle school team. He just saw a need that needed to be filled and wanted to help them out. It's a middle school.

It's a couple blocks away, also in public housing. -Boom. I want a program of me helping kids ride bikes. I want the same thing that happened to me to happen to more kids.

Good job, Mija! The kids, they just make me smile. They brighten my day up actually. I had a bad day today, and when I come here, it's just a whole different mindset for me.

Hey! Steve-o, you almost had it. -Like, most people, if you can't do it, they'll just give up on you really quick, but Monte never did that. He always, like, believed and I think kept us going and stuff.

If you have that one person that doesn't want you to give up or that keeps you going, it makes a bigger impact on your life than having nobody at all. -Which one are you on? -Oh, no -- -And them kids bright, they got a lot of things to accomplish too. They going to accomplish at that because I'm going to be there for them every step of the way.

Yes, yeah! -My name is Cotina Brake. I love what I do. I love facilitating.

I went through the program myself back in 2014 when they launched the first motherhood support group. By 2015, I was being trained, and became a certified facilitator. Right now, we are at the Richmond Community Medical Office Building. This is where I facilitate my evening groups.

So, just learning a new way to parent was really different for me. I don't care who you are, you can use some support and some help, and you can lean on a shoulder yourself sometimes. -I want to be a better parent in general. -When you gain self-control and discipline, it doesn't just stop in one aspect of your life.

You actually start to apply it in every area of your life. And so, when you can have that discipline and that self-control in every area of your life, you're going to see your own growth. It is really hard to try and make it off $8 an hour, and raise children, and pay your bills. Just to know that me showing up for two hours, me telling you, "Hey, you know you're not right.

That's not right, you know you should have done that differently." But there's no judgment, and then that person accepts that. "Ah, Miss Brake, you're right, ah, you know, but I wanted to do it the wrong way." -Coming all together now so it's good for everybody to be on the same page and the same understanding. -It makes me feel really good to have an impact, to have an impact in somebody's life.

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-Right now, I am a behavior aid. And a behavior aid is basically a person who's one-on-one with a child, and basically your job is to, you know, guide them. Let them know that it's okay to go to school, it's okay to do the right thing, because a lot of them is dealing with a lot of problems mentally, and my job is to keep them at ease. I really feel like it's a gift to talk to someone, and get an understanding with them, and really guide them through school.

-Alright, we're going to try something just a tad bit different. We still going to work on flares right. -I'm glad that I did find this job, and that I am playing this kind of part in his life.

Playing notes, indistinct conversation

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I'm one of those guys, I'm going to let you make mistakes. I'm not going to sit right there and hold your hand. I feel like you do have to make some kind of mistakes to really make you who you are. -Do 17 first.

-I just want to keep them on the right track at the end of the day. I don't want to see them in the system. It ain't a good place to be. -So we're going work on that.

-Just him wanting to be around me, talk to me about what he going through mentally, what he going through in school and all that stuff like that, that makes me want to come back because I can see it in him -- he wants to do good, but he just don't know the way. And I just feel like I'm going to show him that way. -All right, man. -Today we're doing the Stop The Violence Community East End thing we do every year in August.

We always do an event where we give back to the communities especially in the East End. We was thinking about medals. You know the whole summer say "Yeah, I remember, I participated." You know, I messed up a community so now I need to revitalize it and build it up again. I'm going to connect you with her.

You can go from there. You know, we just trying to change the mindset. 'Cause if you can change the mindset, then you can change the person. You know, when you start changing the mindset of the people, you don't have to be a product of your environment.

My environment says that we go jail for the rest of our life or we die. You know, a lot of people see that, but unh-uh. I think, I'm hopeful for my environment, so, yep. But that's what we're doing today.

Okay, okay, okay. -They get a medal. -Right? That's going to be given to the team that win's that particular age group.

-Violent week here in Richmond and a violent Saturday morning as police say there were four separate shootings across the city this morning.

Police say around 4

00 a.m. they found a man shot with life threatening injuries, he was shot along the 1900 block of Redd Street

just before 8

00 p.m. Friday night. Police say the next shooting happened about six hours later. Now, that's when four people were shot and transported to the hospital,

and police say just after 2

30 a.m. another shooting took place... -I know you know! Ain't nobody else, I know you know!

You know, sir! Bruh, you made it. That thing was terrible about Ben wasn't it... That was crazy man.

-I had just talked to him. -Just that quick. We come out here for one day. We do all this amazing stuff.

Then we, "See y'all next year." You know, you think you do stuff like this that life, you know, life will be better, but, it don't... It don't get better. Two weeks ago I lost three friends, you know it's like crazy. Not only that but I just went to another funeral Saturday.

I'm wondering, am I getting cool with death 'cause, you know, when I went and cut my friend hair, he had a hole in the side of his head, and it's just like, oh, that's where he got shot. Instead of being grossed out about it, it's just like, "Oh, okay." And that's not cool. That's never cool. This going to be an ongoing battle, ongoing fight, like, it's just crazy.

Even though I'm doing something positive and trying to bring peace and love and all that stuff, you know, you still, people still getting killed. You know, the kids still getting killed. I question, you know what I'm saying, like, still, like, what else can somebody do, man? That's crazy.

-Even once you've done everything on your list and you've succeeded, you've achieved those goals, and now you're living, that things will still surface. It's not just happily ever after. Every level in life that you grow, is something that you -- that you have to defeat. -A dozen people get killed out here during the weekend.

Somebody come out here, like the mayor, and, you know, try to, like, motivate the youth and talk about the killings, and all that and all that. The damage already been done. You can talk about helping these communities, but you got to really come out here and do it. You got to really stand on exactly what you say.

You can't just come out here when you want something. Like, we done already seen that so many times, it's not going to change. But what's going to change is people mindset once they know they got something else to do. Everybody want to feel like they're a part of something great.

These people don't feel like they're a part of nothing great. Figure out a trade, figure out what they good at, what they passionate about, and build on that. But they ain't got these resources, this is all they see, is these walls. -Ain't nobody looking this way.

So we got to find ways, we got to find a lot of ways to help a lot of people, so when we found those one, two, three, four people to help or become something that's big, that's going to get us out this community, that's going help everybody. I just want -- I just want this community to do better. -A lot of people don't come around, but they like to talk about the situation. Like, going on in the news and stuff that goes on around here, and stuff that people talk about, but you never got a chance to go in and talk to the source of the people.

You know, so I really, you know, I say, man, like... It's just crazy -- I'm about to cry, man. You know, and, um... It's crazy.

Everybody ain't bad.

Sniffles

and police say just after 2

Everybody ain't bad. -When they're heard, they can do so much more. They weren't born and the Lord stamped them and said, "You go to RRHA." They didn't come like that. It's like they've always been in this pool of frustration, and no one -- no one hears me.

I'm a number when I go there. I'm a number. But I need them to know my story. -There's always hope.

Without hope, you just a walk around empty shell.

Laughter

and police say just after 2

No, I have hope. I see better. I see -- I see God working, and even in the worst of things, I see. I can see the good.

So, I'm good, I see it's happening, it's going to be alright. -Uh-oh, uh-oh.

Laughs

and police say just after 2

We got a back yard. -Ooh! Uh-oh. -I think today is history, for real.

-There's a fireplace. -Oh, my God, and there's a fireplace. Before I even stay here, I just wanted my boys to see it. And, you know, they happy about it.

It's good, man. Yeah. I'm happy. Let's go.

I always be real with them. They know, like, the situation they dad was in. They know everything. They don't want to go to jail.

That's first and foremost, that what they tell me. They don't want to go to jail. This is, I want to say this Marguis' room. Whatever they want to do, they can do it.

Whatever they want to do, I'm going to be a part of it. We blessed, man, I'm telling you, man. Y'all gotta know, boy. As us as fathers, we have to know, man, you have to be there.

You have to, bro, you cannot miss no time. None of that. You cannot do that, man, 'cause them boys gon' grow up so fast. Ain't nobody tells you.

Somebody would've told me 17 years ago that my son was going to be 18, and I was going to be here to see it? Shhh... You can start on your room man, Marguis. For real, if you want, we going to be here for a while.

When I turned 40, I was scared man. I was -- and I don't know why, I was just nervous, like, in my stomach, I ain't even -- it was Friday too, I ain't even want to come to work. I just was happy I turned 40 because you talking to somebody who ain't even want, ain't even supposed to make it to 18. You know what I'm saying?

My mama, as soon as I turned 18, my mama went and got life insurance policy out on me. I'm looking at this, I'm like, "what is this, life insurance?" "Boy, I ain't know if you is going to make it back." Yup, my mom told me that, and I was like, dang. That's the first time I ever found out I had a life insurance policy on me. Yup, I wasn't living that bad.

I was just thinking about some stuff last night, and, like... Like, how, like... Like how God just brought me through a lot, man, and then people -- people just don't understand man. My story, like, crazy, dog.

Like, I know, like, if you could've been in my shoes, and did the stuff that I did, like, then you -- like, you'd do the same thing I'm doing. Like, it wouldn't even be -- it's not even a question why I'm doing what I'm doing, 'cause I know why, God got me. Like, God got me, man. It ain't even a question why.

It just hurt 'cause I know, like, I know all the stuff I've been through, and for me to see 40?

Scoffs

and police say just after 2

Whoo! And I was free?

Laughs

and police say just after 2

And I was free, dog, I wasn't even locked up. But me to make it to 40, now I ain't never -- You couldn't have told me I would've made it to 40. No, you couldn't, no. 'Cause ain't none of my friends made it to 40.

None of them. Yup. But, yeah, man, my sons like them boys. Them boys are awesome, man.

I wouldn't even want to have another son. Like, I love them boys, like, they're my dawgs. Yup, hey, man, you got me crying, man, shoot. Yea, I've been through a lot.

Yup, I've been through a lot. That's crazy. Ahh. Yeah, I've been through a lot.

-So, look, Imma tell you how this went, right? So, I was supposed to wait for it until March, until March, but they sent it under, like, a surprise. Like, the whole board, like, the staff administrator was there, the teammates, like, all those in one room, And like, they gave me this at one -- like, they congratulate me at one time. It was, like, unbelievable, like, I was nerve racking, I was crying, they was crying actually too.

That's the wild thing about it, they was crying, so... -I'm crying! -

Laughing

and police say just after 2

Alright, so this the free money I got, so far, but I got an extra $30,000 to it too, as well. So, I got this for writing an essay and then I got an extra $30,000 too, an extra $30,000 as well on the scholarship so full ride scholarship this year. Like, I look at this paper every day now, like, every day I look at this paper, like every single day -- before I take a test, before I go to sleep, before I wake up, look at that one specific paper. Or this part right here.

-That's it right here. -Oh, my God.