Happiness

[Female opera singer's vocals fade on recording] Adrian: Your tap-dancing was good, but your Bobby lacked vulnerability.

Well, in my defence, I was 14.

Did age stop Sir Laurence Olivier from playing Othello?

Such a good point.

What do you want, Charlie?

I've finished your mother's biscuits, so I'm not offering you tea.

I need you to come back to Pizazz.

I can't do it.

Yes, I heard about your little tantrum.

As a director, it's very important to keep one's emotions under control.

Can you just do it, Adrian?

But the show opens tonight.

If not for me, then Mum.

Gaye has made her feelings about me very clear.

Adrian, if you need me to beg, I will do it.

How very Greek.

Well, I won't be part of your tragedy, Charlie Summers.

You can stay kneeling.

I have directed 113 productions at Pizazz, And never in my career have I been so badly treated.

I gave everything to that musical.

And what did I get in return?

Jealousy and betrayal.

I feel like JK Rowling.

Please.

Well, I can't be expected to make such a big decision on the spot.

You've said your piece.

I suggest you leave while you still have a sliver of dignity left.

And you can put the record back on!

Tosca's just about to murder Scarpia.

It's my favourite part.

["Tosca" continues] [Squeak] [Splash] [Kids speaking excitedly nearby] Gaye: OK, well, I'll make a list.

Adam: Well, we need to space the choreo on the set.

Good idea.

We also need the set.

Uh, excellent point.

Um, Connor?

The horse?

Oh, it's a bit...lame.

Ah.

So I was thinking maybe Gloria and I could come up with a workaround.

I--I've actually got to rehearse the band.

Gaye: Oh, absolutely.

She's busy.

Um, Gaye?

Gaye: Yes, sweetheart?

Ezra needs help.

Darling, what's wrong?

Mia: The costumes aren't ready.

He's run out of time.

Oh.

Oh, well, you know, I mean, do we even need costumes?

[Chuckles] Others: Yes.

Yes, of course we do.

We're not at a funeral, ladies!

This is show business!

Adrian.

I didn't think you'd ever-- Gaye.

There'll be plenty of time for apologising later.

Right now we have a show to put on!

Gloria, you should be rehearsing the band, not fraternising with members of the cast.

Now, the rest of you, clear the stage for my ladies!

Margaret, pick up the pace.

Don't waste their time, Ezra.

You have two hours.

Thank you.

You can't stage a war without an army, can you?

And you can't run an army without a general.

Man: Hey, Nicky!

Ah, no time for hugs.

Right.

Let's get this show on the road!

Adam: Five, six, seven, eight!

One and two, three and four.

[Indistinct chatter] Adrian: Just show it to me, Nancy.

We've got a slight issue with the horse.

Looks like a Shetland pony.

[Electric whinny simulating device sputters] [Dog whining] Get out of it, Barbara.

Hello, fur thing.

It's Charlie, right?

Steve.

Married to Adam.

Oh, right, yes.

Adam.

Um, we... Made out.

I know.

Hot.

Oh.

Oh.

Are you lost?

No, no.

I often come to the beach to work or... you know, eat... pray, love.

Heard you were fired.

Yes, well, "Cats" is a very challenging project.

From Pizazz.

Yes, that's also true.

Adam's been buzzing about it all week.

Loved it.

Excuse me?

Well, it's just drama, drama, drama at that place, eh?

Suppose it's why you all go.

You excited about tonight?

I wouldn't be welcome.

It's only music theatre, mate.

Never had a bad night at Pizazz.

You can be my date unless you need to... you know, work.

All members of Pizazz, beginners on stage.

Thanks.

Beginners on stage.

Gloria.

Gloria.

Look, it's all my fault.

I shouldn't have run away.

I'm sorry.

My family carries an intergenerational blood curse, and I don't want you to be maimed.

For the last 27 years, every time my family marries someone, they get into a hand accident.

You're a composer.

You need your hands.

Look, I can't let anything happen to you or your hands.

The world needs to hear your music.

I just wish I could have given you the big horse you deserve.

Just makes so much sense.

I could always feel there was this shadow following you, and now I know why.

Shadow.

That's it.

You're a genius.

I am?

Nicky: Gloria!

Hurry up!

Hey, guys.

I think we're just in-- Charlie: Sorry.

just in here.

Sorry.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

So sorry.

Hi, Reverend.

[Audience murmuring] Woman: That's Charlie Summers.

[Orchestra playing] [Applause] Come back in time 1100 BC To the most exquisite kingdom that you ever did see The fall of an empire A city destroyed Gaye: Our mythic musical All: Welcome to Troy An epic adventure, a tale of woe Chorus: It's the Greeks against the Trojans Which you probably know Women: There's plenty of women It's not just the boys And, of course, there is a horse Chorus: Welcome to Troy Men: Heroes and villains, kings and queens Tales of glory and gorier scenes Acts of deception and torrid affairs All: All in the service of those upstairs [Disco-style music] We are the goddesses, we caused all this fuss This is the danger of not listening to us We need respect or disaster awaits Contempt for us is tempting fate Chorus: Don't tempt fate [Music slows dramatically] You're all in for an evening We hope you enjoy Our show is faux historical The war is allegorical The horse is metaphorical And me, I play an oracle!

Oh, boy!

Welcome to Troy!

[Cheering and applause] Adrian: Action!

Connor: I'm not fighting for Hector You're not fighting for him I'm not fighting for Priam And if you lose a limb No, I am fighting for you... Or two I will wait for you Connor: I am fighting... Both: For you [Cheering and applause] Jacqui: Paris, noble prince... the winds of war blow beyond our control.

Your love has sparked a flame, and destiny fans its embers.

But at what cost, Helen?

For the streets echo with the suffering of our kin.

Perhaps a sip of wine may lighten the burden that fate has cast upon us.

Some wine, perhaps?

Wine?

[Audience member coughs] Cassandra?

[Whispers] Cassandra!

Mm.

Uh... Uh... Wine?

It seems my maid may have tasted the wine already.

[Laughter] [Rumbling] [Thud] Ooh.

Chorus: Ah-ah Ah-ah Ah-ah Adam: Ah-ah-ah All: We are the daughters of Lycomedes Here on the island of Skyros I am Odysseus And I'm here to find Achilles Is he here?

No [In high-pitched voice] No Achilles here.

[Laughter] Really?

No Achilles?

The greatest warrior of all time Adam: Nope.

Mikaere: Really?

Manly guy, very butch.

Stand by for start.

We are the daughters of-- Enough!

Thank you for your time Nicky: Hold.

Ladies Hold.

[Fanfare] Charge!

Chorus: Ah-ah Adam: Whoa.

Aah!

Aah... [Cast groaning] Adam: Help!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah... Do you want me to pull?

Adam: Oh!

Ohhh!

Aah!

Ow!

[Audience gasps] Oh, my God!

Nicky: Code six.

Actor down.

[Adam groaning] Woman: Somebody help him!

Help him!

[Adam groaning] Man: All right, you know what to do.

Get the first-aid kit.

Steve: Can you hear me?

Hold my hand.

We've got you... Charlie.

Adrian.

Help me take his other shoe off.

Look.

Look at me.

Sorry.

It's worth it, I promise.

Here we go.

[Adam crying] Steve: Breathe.

Jacqui: What are we gonna do now?

Sorry.

We can't stop the show.

[Sound of heart beating] [Adam groaning] [Whispering] 1964, "Hello, Dolly!"

1965, "Fiddler on the Roof."

1966, "Man of La Mancha."

[Loud sound of heart beating rapidly] Man: Is that Charlie Summers?

Different man: Shh, shh, shh.

[Tap-dancing] [Piano music begins] [Piano playing jazz accompaniment] [Music pace quickens] Whoo!

Go, Charlie!

Yeah!

That's it!

Still got it, mate!

Whoo-hoo!

Show us those jazz hands.

Yeah!

Gaye: Charlie.

Nicky: Charlie!

We're ready!

All right!

Aw.

[Cheering and applause] Without further ado... It is I, Achilles!

[Cheering and applause] Mia: So I scream into the void Even though they cannot hear me I scream into the void... Nice save with Mia before.

Happens every time a newbie gets on the big stage.

Seems to be on top of it now.

The audience adore you.

[Chuckles] What are you doing here, Charlie?

Apologising, I guess.

No.

Here.

In Tauranga.

[Audience applauding] 'Cause I...I can't quite work it out.

Well, obviously, I was fired from "Cats."

So you thought you'd come home and ruin everything I've worked towards for the last 15 years?

Pizazz is all I've got, Charlie, OK?

This is it.

This is my limit.

They're saying I assaulted Sally Field.

I mean, if you're personifying a cat, you don't even need a tail, you know?

But apparently the only reason Sally did the show was so that she could wear her cat costume.

And then when I got rid of the cat costumes completely, she turned up the next day wearing a cat costume that she'd designed herself.

And, no, I wasn't chasing around the rehearsal room like the producers were saying.

We just ended up on the same garbage can after a very brief argument.

And, OK, yes, maybe I pulled her tail off.

But, no, I did not ever try and push her off the garbage cans.

I was holding onto it, if anything, to try and stop her from falling off.

So, actually, if you think about it, it's her own substandard sewing skills that led to her tail detaching from the rest of her suit, which is how she fell off and broke her wrist.

[Charlie panting] [Inhales, then exhales] Who else knows?

Officially, no one... except you.

They made everyone in production sign NDAs, so it's still a secret.

[Applause] Right.

Nicky: Cast onstage for the horse sequence.

That's... stand by for the horse.

Please don't tell anyone.

Faith, trust... And pixie dust.

[Chuckles] Mia: Just stop and wait a minute Please just think this through You don't think that this might be too good to be true?

Why would our enemies just disappear and run?

Without a warning shot They just decide they're done?

Well, I'm not buying, so I'm gonna say this clear This horse is just a source of fraudulence and fear Chorus: Greeks bearing gifts... Mia: You are not listening Connor: Sorry.

Mia: I am sounding the alarm Greeks bearing gifts These Greeks aren't generous They mean to cause us harm Greeks bearing gifts They spent a decade getting here, why would they leave?

Greeks bearing gifts What are you doing?

Trust me.

I'm an electrician.

Chorus: Cassandra, no, you are no use Unlike the horse, thanks be to Zeus, for... Chorus and Mia: The Greeks Bearing... Mia: Gifts!

All: Greeks bearing gifts [Applause] [Sound of horse neighing] [Cheering and applause] Nicky: Stand by.

And go.

[Actors shouting] [Swords clanking] [Song ends, applause] When you set sail Across the sea You're heading home Where you're meant to be You pray the winds and skies are calm And you hope the trip won't bring you harm But you can't control what danger awaits you You don't like the odds Women and Adrian: 'Cause the gods, well, they hate you All: So the weather turns All your hope is gone Do you turn back now Or journey on?

I'll go the long way home The storm arrives, it's here to stay The long way home But at least I'm on my way My fortune is falling But home, it is calling I know... I'll go the long way home [Applause] I don't know how long it takes The long way home There's a chance the journey makes me tired and weary Might be lonely and scary I know... Mia: I'll go the long way Home... Chorus: Long way home Cue confetti.

Oh, way-oh, oh, way-oh Long way home There's a chance the journey makes me Chorus: Tired and weary Might be lonely and scary I know I know.

I know I'll go the long way Home... Long way home... Long way, long way, long way home [Cheering and applause] Tauranga.

Oh!

[Chuckles] Tauranga.

[Cellphone chimes] [Loud sound of heart beating] [Clicks tongue] Chorus: I'll go the long way home This program is available with PBS Passport and on Amazon Prime Video