Great Performances

Orchestra playing overture

Cheering and applause

Cheering and applause

-The Cat's Meow in downtown Flatbush is thrilled to present

Shoes clack

"The Wedding Bell Revue."

Playing "Steppin' out with my Baby"

- Steppin' out with my baby Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right It's for sure, not for maybe That I'm all dressed up tonight - Steppin' out with my honey Can't be bad to feel so good Never felt quite so sunny So I keep on knockin' wood I do! And, now, please, welcome Hanover, Hardy, and Dixon!

Applause

- Steppin' out with my baby - Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right Ask me when will the day be The big day may be Tonight

Applause

Here she comes, down the street My, oh, my, ain't she sweet? - Why, here comes my hot toddy - Ha ha, over my dead body I'll Capture her heart Singing - Just wait until she gets a load of my dancing - Just Wait till I start Singing - I'll take her strollin' down the road with my dancing - I can't go wrong A tender song And she'll discover my charms - Some fancy taps and she'll collapse And fall right into my arms - I'll take you through Li-i-i-i-ife Singing - Oh no, you haven't a chance when I -Oh! - Go into my dance If you could dance instead of sing I'd learn to love ya somehow If you could sing instead of dance I'd take ya home with me now - Ba doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Doo dah doo dah doo dah -Ooh! - Ba doo doo doo doo doo - Doo doo doo doo doo Doo dah doo dah doo dah! - Da da da da da da -Oh. - Skippity da do day -Oh. -

Squeals

- Rat, skat, do, da Day -Excuse me. Day -Fellas. Day -I'm right here. Oh! Skippity doo doo Doo doo doo da Skippity dee dah doo doo doo day Skidimih mahdehdah mahdehdahdah Bye atta bye atta bah - And then we'll start a romance Oh, no, you haven't a chance When I Go into My - Dance - Song - Ask me when will the day be The big day may be tonight

Cheering and applause

-All right!

Overlapping conversations

-Hey, number 3 dancer. Number 3. -Happy closing, honey. -Ohhh.

Both

Mmm! -I can't believe we're closing. It feels like we just opened. -Because we did. It was a one-night gig. -Oh! I wish we could find something more permanent, you know? I don't think I'll make it through another dry spell like the one in March. -Lila. -And April. -Lila. -And 1945.

Audience laughter

Both

-Lila. You won't have to. -Oh? -It's been two years of laughter and song and love. Will you marry me? -Oh, Jim! Mmm!

Laughter

Both

Oh, this is so exciting! I always pictured a church wedding. -Mm-hmm. -But if we could get Carnegie Hall, the Times would cover it. -Well -- -It won't be cheap, so you'll have to write a new show. New songs. A new booking, with full houses every night. -I was actually thinking we could fill a house of our own. A real house. With a real family. -Whose family? -

Laughs

Both

-Lila, I finally did it. I bought a farm, with a farmhouse, in Connecticut! -Connecticut?! But we can't leave New York. We can't just up and leave. -But Lila, we promised each other when the gigs dried up, we'd get out of show business and live a normal life. -I always wanted to be normal. After I'm famous. -Lila, we don't need all that. -Says who?

"The Little Things in Life" plays

Both

- Just a little room or two Can more than do A little man and wife That's if they're contented with The little things in life Living on a larger scale Would soon entail A lot of care and strife We could be so happy with The little things in life We've played enough gigs in second-rate clubs with overheated dressing rooms and bad plumbing. -Yeah. -Never knowing what comes next. Or if anything comes next. -Yeah. -I want a real life. A simple life. A life with you. -Ah.

chuckle

Both

- A little rain A little sun A little work A little fun A little time for loving When the day is done I want to wake up in the morning and do an honest day's work. I-I want to grow things. -Since when do we wake up in the morning?

Laughs

Both

- And a little thing that cries For lullabies Could make a man and wife Tell the world how much they love The little things In life

Applause

Both

-Oh, here they are. -Jimmy, listen to this. -Great news, boys. -How did you know? -How did you know? -How did they know? -How did I know what? -

Giggle

Both

-Danny just booked us for a six-week tour that ends at the Pump Room! -The Pump Room, in Chicago?! -No, the pump room in my Aunt Lipky's basement. Yes, the Pump Room in Chicago! -We'll be halfway to Hollywood. -This is so thrilling! We'll need new routines. -And a spotlight devoted to me. -And 10% devoted to me. -And new falsies devoted to me. -Sweetheart, you might not have time for all that. You're filling in for Red Skelton, who's laid up with kidney stones. -That's horrible! I'll have to write him a thank-you note. -On the train. We're leaving tonight! -I'll telephone Mother and tell her the big news! -Uh, which big news? -Which big news? Jim, have you not been listening? -Yeah, that's all I've been doing. But I have bigger news. Lila and I are gettin' married! -Married? Why would you get married? You seem so happy. -Jimmy, that's great! You finally asked her. -And I want you to be my best man. -Of course! Hey, we'll do the bachelor party on the road. -Oh, we're not goin' on the road, buddy. Lila and I are finally gettin' out of show business. -What? -We are the proud new owners of the Mason Farm in Midville, Connecticut. -Connecti-oh, Connecticut? Yeah, you know what happens in Connecticut? -What? -Nothing! You'll end up wearing plaid and repressing your feelings! -Jimmy, how long have we been waiting for this? This could be our shot at the bigtime! -Are you really gonna walk out on your best friend here? -No, I'm not walking out on anybody. I'm walking in to my new life with Lila. -Yes, but we're a trio. We work together. That's why we work! -Yeah. You can't just take a wheel off a tricycle. You'll end up with a-- nevermind. -Listen, Ted, you'll always be my best friend, but, this is where the road divides for us. We can't come with you. I'm sorry. -Mother's thrilled! And so am I. Great, so you're ready to go? -Jim, darling. Opportunities like this only come along once in a lifetime. -As opposed to marriage proposals? -Exactly. Mmm! Come on, it's only six weeks. -But we have to be in Midville tomorrow. The bank needs us to sign papers and take ownership, or it goes back to auction. I don't want to lose this place. -Okay, so, what if you go claim the farm and let Ted take Lila to Chicago? -No. Then it'll just be the two of us! That's perfect. All the focus will be on me. -Hey! -On us. -It makes sense, Jim. I'll do this last gig and then join you at the end of the summer with a few extra paychecks to feather the nest.

chuckle

Both

-Six weeks. -Beautiful! Well, that's settled. Well, come on, let's go. I still gotta buy our train tickets. -Jimmy, I'll see you soon. I'll miss ya buddy. -You too, pal. -Bye dollface. -Bye dollface. -Bye dollface.

Audience laughter

Both

-Safe travels!

Laughs

Sigh

Both

We could be so happy

Laughter

Both

-Hey, Jim, you and Lila coming to McHale's? -Oh, I'll be there, but Lila's going out on the road with Ted. -I don't get it. -I do. Danny booked them a six-week tour and it was too good to turn down. -Oh, but not too good for you to turn down?

Laughter

Both

-Guys, you're not gonna wanna hear this, but, I'm through with performing. -

Gasp!

Both

- I really think that Broadway Is just a false alarm I know. - I don't hear any alarms - It's just a great, big fraud-way Compared to a farm A lot of folks may like it But I could not agree It may be good enough for them But not For me -What could be better than Broadway? -

Laughs

Both

Blue skies Smilin' at me Nothing but blue skies Do I see How would you all like to make a contribution to the Fresh Air Fund? All you have to do is help me move to Midville, Connecticut. -

All talking

Both

- Blue days All of them gone Nothin' but blue skies - Nothin' but blue skies - Nothin' but blue skies - From now on -

All talking

Conversations continue

Both

Never saw the sun shining so bright Never saw things going so right Noticing the days hurryin' by When you're in love, my, how they fly -This way, ladies! Anywhere you like. Whoa! Careful, now. -

Laughs

Both

That was fun. -Yeah, I'll say. Hey, kiddos. Ha ha. Oh, boy. Hey, not too bad there, track and field. I do appreciate the help.

Knock-knock-knock

Both

Laughs

Both

-Oh, look what I found! -Oh, I'm gonna need those! -Thank you. -Oh, my gosh! -Anything marked "show business" goes in storage in the barn. I should care if the wind blows east or west -Jim. -Oh, that goes in the bedroom. I should fret if the worst looks like the best -Which one? You've got 15! -Oh, pick one. I should mind if they say it can't be true Whoa, outside! I should smile

laughs

Both

That's exactly What I'll do Operator? Get me the Franklin Hotel in Omaha. Miss Lila Dixon. Oh, she's not? Well, then take down this message. It should read as follows. Blue skies - Blue Blue skies - Smilin' at me - Nothin' but blue skies - Nothin' but blue skies - Ah ah ah ah! - Do I see - Nothin' but blue skies Do I see - Blue days All of them gone Nothin' but blue skies Nothin' but blue skies Nothin' but blue Skies! From now on

Cheering and applause

Both

-Thank you, guys! I'll see ya soon! Expect fresh produce at your door! Nothin' but blue skies From now on

Cheering and applause

Doorbell rings

Both

-What's the matter, ya miss me already? -Special delivery for Mister...Hardy. -And who are you? -Charlie Winslow, Midville Bank and Trust. -

laughs

Both

Really? Are you in finance or lending? -Collections. Your back taxes. -Oh, nobody said anything about that. -Water bill, electric bill, gas bill, and your first mortgage payment. Welcome to the neighborhood. -You got any good news, Mr. Winslow? -I work for a ba-a-nk. What do you think?! -What do I think?

Slam!

Creaking

Thud

Audience laughter

Applause

Both

-Apparently, I work for a bank now, too.

Doorbell rings

Both

-Who now, the IRS? Oops. Oh. Hi. -Oh, hi. Uh, Mr. Hardy? -Do we know each other? -No. Somewhat. I-I know who you are. -You've seen my act? -No. I've seen the foreclosure papers. I'm Linda Mason. -As in Mason Farm? -Yes. I was wondering if I could pick up a few things that I left behind. -Of course. Please come in. -Thank you. The bank padlocked the house before I finished moving out, so.

chuckle

Both

Oh, wow. I love what you've done with the place.

Audience laughter

Both

-Yeah, I have my work cut out for me. -Oh, well, this looks just like our old piano. -Oh, do you play? -No, not for years. Would you mind giving me a hand with this painting here? -Sure. -Thank you. -You know, I figured Eleanor Roosevelt came with the house. -That's my grandmother. -She was so beautiful.

Audience laughter

Both

-Yes. She and my grandfather built this place right after they were married. -I can tell they put a lot of love into it. -Yes, they did. -I'm so sorry. This must be very emotional for you. -Oh, no, it's silly to get emotional over a piece of real estate, Mr. Hardy. -Oh, I don't know. I got pretty emotional, moving in just now. -Yes, I heard you singing about it. Ahem.

Audience laughter

Both

-Yeah, I tend to do that. -This was my home, but I'll make a new one. Like my father always said, "Time marches on." -Hey, I like that. - This world of ours Is ever-changing -Heh. - The hands of time Keep rearranging With every change I'm right on the beat Won't let the grass grow Under my feet I'm marching Along with time I'll be marching, mm From time to time For I'm not gonna let the parade go by You know that time marches on And so do I -Hey, did you want this stuff? -Oh, thank you. One day I changed my horse for a motor And now of course I'll be changing my car for a plane to fly You know that time marches on And so do I There'll be a change in music

chuckle

Both

A change in rhythm

chuckle

Both

- A change in dancing - But I'll be right with 'em Watch me and you will find That I just won't be left behind Father Time marches on with his head up high And so do I - There'll be a change in music - There'll be a change in music

Chuckle

Both

- A change in rhythm - A change in rhythm Hmm. A change in dancing - A change in dancing - But I'll be right with 'em - You'll be right with 'em - Marching along with time I'll be marching from time to time For I'm not gonna let the parade go by You know that time marches on And so do I-I-I-I-I-I-I

Applause

Both

-Wow. Forward-thinking. Independent. Sound like a real New Yorker. -Oh. I was a New Yorker, briefly. -Really? What happened? -Oh, I-I tried to make it there as a performer when I was younger, but, well, you know how that story goes, huh? -Not until you tell it to me. -Oh, it's nothing. Um. My father woke up one day and my mother had left. She ran off with a Fuller Brush salesman. -Oh, I see. -Yeah. -So, I left New York, came back to take care of him, and I've been here ever since. After he passed, I-I just couldn't keep up. Ahem. -I'm sorry. Hey, did you ever think of giving performing another shot? -

Scoff

Both

That was another time, Mr. Hardy. I teach school now. It's a simple life, but I'm happy. -Funny. That's just what I'm after. -Oh. Well, I should get going, back to my efficiency apartment.

Both chuckle

Both

-Let me give you a hand with those things. -Uh, nope, I am all right. You have your hands full with the house already. You know, if you ever need any help around here, I know the

clap-clap

Both

perfect person! -Oh, that would be great; send them right over.

Doorbell rings

Audience laughter

Both

Wow. That was fast. -Louise Badger, fix-it man. -Jim Hardy. How did you...? -I was standin' outside, waitin' for my cue.

Audience laughter

Both

Ah! It's good to be home. -Home? -Well, I lived on this property 20-plus years. -Louise was our caretaker, and part of the family. -Right. Gone one month, the place falls apart. You're gonna need me around the clock. I'll go unpack! -Oh, I can't afford you full-time until we have a crop we can sell. -Not a problem. Happy to take my salary in room and board. But no funny business, hmm?

Audience laughter

Both

-Well, I'll let you two get to work, huh?

chuckle

Both

-Hey, if it's all the same to you, I'd like to keep the name. Mason Farm. It has a...certain ring to it. -That is very kind of you, Mr. Hardy. Thank you. -Oh, please, call me Jim. -Goodbye, Louise. -Oh, I'll swing by and check on you later. -Oh, don't worry about me. Just take care of the house and, uh, Jim.

chuckle

Both

Buh-bye. -So long. -Pretty cute, huh? -Yeah. I mean. No. I mean, she is. I mean, I have a fiance. -A fiance? Where the heck is she?!

Fanfare plays

Both

-Ladies and gentlemen, The Turf Lounge of Omaha is proud to present... the red-hot duo Lila Dixon and Ted Hanover! A heat wave Blew right into town last week She came from The island of Martinique The can-can she dances will make you fry The can-can is really the reason Why... ...y... ...y... - We're havin' a heat wave A tropical heat wave The temperature's rising; it isn't surprising She certainly can Can-can -So, according to my plan, we should have a fresh crop by October. -Oh, that's ambitious. What are you plannin' to grow? -Figured I'd start with my favorite. Bananas!

Audience laughter

Both

-We're gonna need a new plan.

Audience laughter

Both

She started the heat wave - Oh, she started the heat wave - By letting her seat wave - Just by letting her seat wave - In such a way that The customers say that - She certainly can Can-can

Drumbeat

Audience laughter

Both

She certainly can Can-can! -I never realized how much time it takes to grow a simple parsnip. -Told ya it wouldn't be easy. This soil can be very unfriendly. -You know, farming is harder than it looks. -I'll say. Mr. Mason tried for 55 years. -55 years?! Then what? -He died.

Audience laughter

Both

- Gee -Ladies and gentlemen... - Her anatomy -...the Starlight Room in St. Louis... - Made the mercury -...brings you Ted Hanover... - Jump to 93 -...and the red-hot Lila Dixon! -Whoa! - We're havin' a heat wave! A tropical heat wave -The way that she moves that thermometer proves that She certainly can Can-can -Welcome to...The Pump Room! Bringing you the red-hot act that's taken the Windy City by storm. - So hot! A record's been made - We'll fry in the shade -Live on the Lake Shore, it's Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon! - Yes, we're havin' a heat wave A tropical heat wave The way that she moves that thermometer proves that She certainly can Can-can We're havin' a heat wave A tropical heat wave And in such a way that The customers say that The temperature's rising; it isn't surprising She certainly, certainly, certainly, certainly Certainly can Can-can

Cheering and applause

Both

Melancholy tune plays

Audience laughter

Both

-Any signs of life? -Nah, not over here. -I'm beginning to realize why this place was such a bargain. -A bargain?! Rumor around town is you paid twice what it was worth. -What?! -

scoff

Both

Typical New Yorker.

Audience laughter

Both

-Hang on a second. This is a perfectly respectable summer squash. -Except it's a tomato.

Audience laughter

Both

Look, you can call it whatever you wanna call it, as long as it impresses that fiance of yours. -Oh. -Special delivery for Mr. Hardy. -Nope. Mr. Hardy's not here. You have to come back later. -He's right behind you. -That's just my winter weight.

Audience laughter

Both

-Oh! So you'll have to be the one to give Mr. Hardy this past-due notice on the mortgage. We do offer a 30-day grace period before penalties begin to accrue. -How kind. -Unfortunately, it's been 40 days. But we don't like to see folks hurtin', so, I'll keep comin' back to check in. You take good care now! -That kid is definitely gonna be in government one day.

Audience laughter

Both

-Jim?! Jim! -Lila? -Oh, ew! Ew!

laughs

Both

Surprise. -You're two days early! -Oh! Mm. And overdressed. -You look like a movie star! -You look like a farmer!

Laughter

Both

-Well, that's cause I am! At least I'm trying to be. With some help from my friend Louise here. -At your service!

Thud

Both

-Oh, you two are adorable! Like that painting with the unhappy old people.

Laughter

Both

-I'll go get your bags. -Oh, no, you really don't have to -- -No, I have to do everything. -Oh, it's so good to see you. -Ah. -Mm. Did you read the Farmer's Almanac I sent ya? -Every word. On the first page. -

laughs

Both

-Well that's all right; you've been busy. But I'm gonna teach you everything you need to know. Starting right now. -Now?!

laughs nervously

Whimsical tune plays

Both

But it's about to rain. -Well, that's just a few passing clouds. -Tell that to my hair. -You have to look for the blue sky in between those clouds. It's a lovely day today So whatever you've got to do You got a lovely day to do it in - That's true

chuckle

Both

- And I hope whatever you've got to do Is something that can be done by two - Though I'd really like To stay Jim, I need to tell you, I came here be-- - It's a lovely day today -That's interesting. - So whatever we've got to do I'd be so happy to be doin' it with you -Me? But if I've got something that must be done And it can only be done by one There is nothing more To say - Except it's a lovely day for sayin' -Oh! - It's a lovely day -

Laughs

Both

-Your chariot awaits! -Well, I'd prefer a Buick, but, okay. - It's a lovely day today If there's something that must be done Don't forget two heads are better than just one - But perhaps whatever I've got to do Is something that should be done by you - Done by two If it is then you could stay -

crying

Both

Jim, I'm sorry! I can't do this. I've been trying to tell ya since I got here, but,

Melancholy tune plays

Both

you seem so happy. -That's cause I am. You should try it. It's a pleasant sensation. -So is performing. And I can't just walk away like you did. I know myself. I can live with a lot of things, but I can't live out here with all these vegetables!

Audience laughter

Both

Anyhow, Ted and I just got booked into a swanky new room in Las Vegas. Can you believe it? Las Vegas! It's a dream come true. -But this was our dream. -Your dream, Jim. Not mine. -You came all the way out here to tell me this? -I wanted to tell ya in person. -That was nice of you. -I know.

Audience laughter

Both

I'm sorry, Jim. -Can I at least drive you to the train? -The cab's waiting for me around the corner. Good luck, Jim. I mean that.

Sobbing

Both

-She didn't have any bags. -I know. - It's a lovely day today And whatever you got to do I'd be so happy To be doin' it with you

Lightning crashes

Rain pouring

Both

- It's a lovely Day

Upbeat tune plays

Both

- Gobble, gobble

Audience laughter

Both

- Gobble, gobble

Audience laughter

Both

- Plenty to be thankful That's right, there's plenty to be thankful Tonight, there's plenty to be thankful Plenty to be thankful for -Live from Las Vegas, it's the KENO Thanksgiving Musical Cavalcade with Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon! Brought to you by Optrex Eye Lotion and Benzel Sinus Spray. Relief you'll be thankful for. - I've got plenty to be thankful for I haven't got a great big yacht to sail from shore to shore Still, I've got plenty to be thankful for I've got plenty to be thankful for Yes, sir, he's got a lot No private car - No Or caviar - No Or carpet on my floor - Oh, no, but he has got Plenty to be thankful for -Like you girls. Have I mentioned I'm grateful for ya? -Gee, Teddy, thanks! - I've got eyes to see with -Thanks to Optrex, the eye lotion made with science! - Ooh! - Ears to hear with -Thanks to Benzel, the nasal spray made with amphetamines! - Wow! - Arms to hug with Lips to kiss with - Someone to adore - How could anybody ask For more? - How could he? Why would he? - My needs are small I buy them all At the 5-and-10-cent store - Near you! - I've got He's got We've got Plenty to be thankful for Plenty to be thankful for

Applause

Both

-Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon! Ladies and gentlemen, stick around, if you know what's good for you. We'll be speaking with them later on in the program. -No, Louise, don't worry about me. I have lots of guests over. The neighbors. You don't know them.

Audience laughter

Both

Listen, Louise, I need to grab the turkey before it dries. Oh. Okay. Gobble-gobble to you, too.

Audience laughter

Both

All right. Buh-bye.

sigh

Doorbell buzzes

Both

-Hello! -Hi, Miss Mason, it's Charlie Winslow. -Oh, Charlie! Um -- Uh, come on in. Charlie, to what do I owe the pleasure? -Happy Thanksgiving. -Ohh.

sniff

Both

Apple pie? How sweet of you to think of me. Come, sit down. -I-I'm just the messenger. It's from my parents. They feel sorry for you.

Audience laughter

Both

-Sorry for me? -Oh, you know, because you're all alone. On Thanksgiving. No family. No children. No prospects.

Audience laughter

Both

-"Self-Reliance" by Ralph Waldo Emerson. We just read it. Do you remember how he starts? -"Man is his own star". -Exactly. I like being independent and levelheaded. -My mom calls that a spinster!

Audience laughter

Both

-Charlie, I am perfectly fine.

chuckle

Both

I have plenty to be thankful for. My tiny flat Was furnished at The 5-and-10-cent store Still I've got plenty to be thankful for - Like what? - I've got eyes to see with -Oh, like the song on the radio! -Mm-hmm. - Ears to hear with -Oh, you were listening! - Arms to hug with Lips to kiss with I guess it is okay to be all alone, then. You get to eat the whole pie, by yourself. -Yep.

Audience laughter

Both

-No one to share it with. -Yep. -No one to tell you when you've had enough. -Yep. -Or save you when you're choking! -Okay! Ahem.

Audience laughter

Both

Lesson's over. -Swell. Enjoy the pie, Miss Mason. -Goodbye, Charlie.

chuckle

Both

Audience laughter

Both

There'll be a change in music A change in rhythm A change in dancing But I'll be right with 'em - Dah dah dat dah dah dat dah dah Da da da dah dah dah dow! At the KENO Radio Cavalcade There's plenty to be Thankful For! -Before we conclude our program for this evening, let's take a moment and meet our stars, Ted Hanover and Lila Dixon. Ted, are you looking to be a Romeo on the Vegas Strip, or is there a special girl in your life? -Every girl in my life is special. -But he only has one dance partner. -Lila, is there a lucky fella out there, waiting for you this holiday season? -No, sir. I'm fancy-free and free for anything fancy. -So get up close and personal at The Flamingo. We're almost sold out! -Really? What? -Thank you, Ted and Lila. You heard it here first, folks. Lila Dixon is single and looking! Bachelors, beware. She's a heartbreaker. Next up, on the KENO Radio Cavalcade, Susan, the Yiddish- speaking spaniel.

Audience laughter

Both

-Oh, Susan. -Why are you torturing yourself? -'Cause I believed her. -Yeah? Well, she's an actress. It's her job to fake it.

Audience laughter

Both

-I can't believe I let her string me along. Look at me now, failing at farming, in this big old house, all by myself! -Well, that's not technically true,

Audience laughter

Both

but I'm willing to overlook it, given your current state of mind. Come on, let me fix you a plate. -You know who I really miss? -Who? -Ted. Well, the old Ted. -The Ted who took your fiance on the road? -No, the Ted who used to be my best friend. Heh.

Melancholy tune plays

Both

We met at a casting call when we were both first startin' out. I was so nervous, I could barely speak, let alone sing. My audition, whoa, tanked.

Laughter

Both

Afterwards, I was drowning my sorrows at McHale's, -Mm-hmm. -and there was Ted, yukking it up with a circle of other kids from the call. Well, I finally picked up the courage to go congratulate him. "On what?" he said. "I didn't get the gig, either. None of us did. Doesn't mean we won't get the next one." I couldn't believe it. Why were they celebrating? So I asked him. You know what he said? "Every now and then, it's a good idea to pause in our pursuit of happiness to just be happy."

Faint audience laughter

Both

I ended up having more fun that night than the entire year. Ted, he just has a way of makin' anyone feel good about anything. Wonder what happened to that guy. -If it makes you feel any better, you can call me Ted.

Audience laughter

Doorbell rings

Both

-Oh! Wonder who that could be.

chuckle

Both

What poor, lost soul is knocking on our door on Thanksgiving Day?

gasp!

Both

Linda! What a surprise! What are you doing here?!

Audience laughter, clapping

Both

-You told me I could come over. -Oh, how wonderful that you decided to pop in for a spontaneous, unplanned visit. -Hi, Jim. -Hi, Linda. -Happy Thanksgiving. Um -- I wanted to bring you this apple pie. -Wow, you baked me a pie? -Yes!

Audience laughter

Both

No. One of my students brought it to me. I'm assuming it's not poisoned.

Laughs awkwardly

Audience laughter

Both

-Well, all the same, that's very kind of you. -Mm-hmm. -Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving. -Oh. Um -- Happy Thanksgiving. You know, I should mention why I really came. I am missing my serving spoon. Could I check the barn?

Audience laughter

Both

-Of course. You know the way. -Yep. So I'll just grab that and get going. -No! I mean -- I'll go get it for ya. -Louise, you don't have to -- -Oh, no. I was just headed out that way, anyway, to feed the...pig. -We have a pig? -Yes!

Audience laughter

Both

Boris!

Audience laughter

Both

He's a rescue.

Fresh audience laughter

Fresh audience laughter, clapping

Both

-Well, you look lovely. Are ya headed somewhere special tonight? -Uh, just singing with the local choir. -Oh. Oh. I'm glad to hear that. -Well, I guess you reminded me how much I enjoy it. -Oh, no, no, I can't take any credit. -Oh, you can take a little. -Well, I don't mind if I do.

Chuckle

Audience laughter

Both

-Well, I think you should.

chuckling

Both

-Well, o...kay. -Okay. Ahem.

Audience laughter

Both

Ooh! I see Louise has made her famous cranberry sauce. I miss that. -Listen. I'd really like to invite you to stay for dinner, it's just, it's not the best timing. -Oh. No, of course. -Lila -- Lila called off our engagement. -I heard, on the radio. -Yep.

Audience laughter

Both

It's probably for the best. -I'm so sorry. -Thank you. But I just think that I'd be terrible company tonight. -Right. Me too. -You would? -No, I wouldn't.

chuckles awkwardly

Audience laughter

Both

I don't know why I said that. Um, I just mean that if -- -You know, I should get going.

chuckle

Both

-What about the serving spoon?

Door closes

Melancholy tune plays

Both

Funny when you're left With nothing more to say Suddenly you find You should be on your way Funny how you long for some excuse To remain a while But it's no use The conversation ends And you've nothing more To say Funny when you're left Without a thought on your mind Funny when you search For words you never can find Gone are the pretty speeches That you planned for your lucky day Funny when you're left With nothing more to say When your moment comes to an end What good is pretending? Gone are the pretty speeches That you planned for your lucky Day Funny when the words No longer come your Way Funny when you're left With nothing more to Say

Applause

"Shakin' the Blues Away" plays

Both

-Louise, I still don't understand why we need this Christmas tree. -Oh, stop arguing. I need to focus! -What's the point? It's just the two of us. It's not like we have an actual family here. -Families come in all shapes and sizes! -Do we really need that star? -Of course we do. My father was Jewish.

Audience laughter

Both

-Well, this tree is gonna look pretty sad with only two presents under it. -Okay. Come on, give me a boost. -If I don't find some miracle plan in the next two weeks, this place goes back into foreclosure. -Oh!

Rattling

Both

Close enough!

Audience laughter

Both

Ah! -Too bad there's nobody here to enjoy it. - Happy holiday -What was that? -What was what? - Happy holiday -That. - While the merry bells -

Laughing

Both

- Keep ringing May your every wish come True! -Aaaaaah!

laughs

Hubbub of conversations

Both

-What are you guys doing here? -Well, we're here for you. -I figured you were in need of a little musical medication. -So we're here to fill the prescription! -Ohh. - There's an old superstition Way down South Everybody believes That trouble won't stay If ya shake it

Horns play sultry tune

Both

Away When they hold a revival Way down South Everybody with care And trouble that day Tries to shake it Away -Oh! Away Away -That's nice. -Yeah. - Shakin' the blues away Unhappy news away If you are blue, it's easy to Shake off your cares and troubles -

Exclaiming

Both

- Tellin' the blues to go They may refuse to go But as a rule, they'll go if you'll Shake 'em away -Oh! - Do like the voodoos do And listen to a voodoo melody They shake their bodies so, to and fro With every shake A lucky break

Audience laughter

Both

Provin' that there's a way Come on. To chase your cares away If you would lose your weary blues Shake 'em away Shake 'em a... ...Way -Oh! I can feel it workin'. ...Way -You got this. Come on. -Hi! Good to see ya, Daphne. -Oh! -Oh, thank you, thank you. Hey, kid. Anywhere by the fireplace is good. Oh, you can put those in the -- -Hey, Patrick, bring it in. -Got it! -Got it. Come on, here we go! Ohh! -Tap shoe-oe-s! Hoo-hoo! -Hey. You still got those things? You ever use those? -Get 'er out. -Get that skunk outta here! She's shakin'. She's shakin' too.

Laughter

Both

-Oh, what's this?

Laughs

Both

-Aaaaaaah! Hey, Jim! I got a surprise for ya!

Laughter

Both

-Oh, the old country tap shoes, huh? -I got it. Ha! Ha! I got it. Yah! I got it. I'm in, I'm in. Oh, look at it, hey, hey. Oh oh. Hey!

Continues indistinctly

Both

-Uh-huh! -All right. -Whoo! -Come on, Jimbo. -Oh, wow. -Okay, I'll be right with you. Hey, guys. Looks pretty good. Looks like you still got it. Uh-oh! Whoa! Oh! -Oh! -Oh, my God! He takes a bite! That's how you know it's good. -Remember that. Ah, put this over here. Yeah, we'll drape it. You know, we can put it here or we could put it in the hall. -

Speaking indistinctly

Both

-I think you dropped something. -Ow! -Whoo!

Cheering and applause

Both

-Uh-oh! -Oh! -Whoo! -Wah-hah!

Cheering and applause

Both

-I got you somethin'. Mer-ry Christmas! - Do like the voodoos do Listening to a melody - They shake their bodies so - To and fro - With every shake A lucky break - Ohhh! Proving that there's a way To chase your cares away If you would lose your weary blues Shake 'em away... ...ay ...ay Shake 'em all Away

Cheering and applause

Whistling

Both

-Bravo! Bravo!

Whistling and applause continues

Both

-

Clapping

Whistling

Applause continues

Cheering

Whistling

Applause continues

Whistling

Indistinct chatting

Both

-You know what, Louise? -Huh? -You're right. Life is way too short to sit around moping. I never want to spend another holiday by myself. -Yeah, me neither, huh?

Audience laughter

Both

-Linda? -Yeah? -

chuckle

Both

Merry Christmas! uh, th-these are my friends. Uhh, friends, Linda. Linda, friends. -Hi, Linda. -Linda grew up in this house and I guess she still has a key. -Oh.

Audience laughter

Both

-N-No, i-it was open. I-I'm here for the party. -How did you know we were having a party? -Well, I certainly didn't invite her. It definitely wasn't me, if that's what you're thinkin'.

Audience laughter

Both

-You know, I used to put on shows just like that when I was a little girl, right here in this very room. -Oh, Linda's a performer, too. -No, no, no, no, I forced my whole family to watch. I even charged admission. What was it Louise, 5 cents a head? -Heaven knows we could use those funds. -Hey, if you charged half what they charge for tickets in Flatbush, you'd be in clover. -

Laughs

Both

-

Whispering

Audience laughter

Both

-Wait a minute. That's it. -Of course it is. -Show business could be the solution. -Isn't that usually the problem?

Audience laughter

Both

-Maybe not this time. Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? -You're a much better singer than you are a farmer. -And you can build a stage. -And you know all these dancers! -The best hoofers in New York. -And, together, we could put on a show! -You can charge for tickets! -Yes, we already covered that, Daphne!

Audience laughter

Both

-But not just tickets. Rooms! -With all these bedrooms, we could have a big, -Showplace hotel! -Jim, I-I love it, b-but we can't just move out here. -Yeah, we have our shows and our lives back in the city. -We're only free on the holidays. -Okay. Then we're only open on the holidays. We work on the days other people don't! -Oh, you'll write special songs for each one! -What do you say, gang? -

Exclaiming

Both

-Hey Jim, mind if we make ourselves at home? -Oh, we got 15 bedrooms. -Oo-ooh! The heat's still not working. -All right, um, so, grab extra blankets from the hall closet and everybody... sleep together!

Audience laughter

Both

-I'm sorry. She does this all the time. -

Exclaiming

Both

-Make yourselves at home.

chuckle

Both

-You're serious about this? -Absolutely. -But I thought you wanted out of show business. -I did. I do. But this is different. No New York. No rat race. And...maybe it does take a little bit of performing to live a normal life. -Well, that's certainly true. -

Chuckle

Both

I have no idea if it'll work, but if I don't do something, the bank is gonna take this place back. -Oh. Well, it's a shame we're not open tonight, huh? -"We"? -Mm. Christmas Eve -- it would be a big draw. -

chuckle

Both

Certainly would. And who says we can't have our first rehearsal right now? -What's that? -An old Christmas song I wrote years ago and stuck in a drawer.

Audience laughter

Playing "White Christmas"

Audience laughter

Both

Well, it needs work.

Audience laughter

Both

-No, no. I would love to hear it. Please. I'm dreaming Of a white Christmas Just like the ones I used to know Where the treetops glisten And children listen To hear Sleigh bells in the snow I'm dreaming Of a white Christmas With every Christmas card I write May your days be merry And bright And may all your Christmases Be white - I'm dreaming Of a white Christmas Just like the ones I used to know -Where the treetops glisten. - Where the treetops glisten -And children listen. - And children listen To hear - Sleigh bells in the snow -Hm. - I'm dreaming Of a white Christmas With every Christmas card I write May your days be merry And bright And may all your Christmases Be White

Applause

Both

-See? You're a natural. -

Scoff

Both

No, I -- I guess you could say I was feeling inspired, huh? -Oh, hi! Oh. Don't mind me. Some of the kids were feelin' a bit peckish, what with the train ride from Grand Central and all the singing and dancing and decorating and garland-jumping, so,

Audience laughter

Both

I thought I'd just duck into the pantry and grab that fruitcake you brought, Linda, 'cause ya know what they say. "A hungry dancer is a cranky dancer," and we've gotta keep our employees happy and satisfied. And, like Louise always says, "Feed 'em and they'll love ya." Anyway, I can see you two are busy, busy bees, so don't let me interrupt. I'm just gonna go upstairs and eat this entire fruitcake by myself in shame. Good night.

Audience laughter

Both

-Well. Umm, it's getting late. Thank you for the song and the company. -If you really want to thank me, you'll join me onstage for our first show. -Oh, no, I haven't performed in years. -What could be more perfect than Linda Mason performing in the house she grew up in? -No, I'm not ready for -- -I'll give you 5 cents! -Oh.

Audience laughter

Both

Well, that is very generous.

Both chuckle

Audience laughter

Both

-So? -So when's our first show? -I say we start with New Year's Eve. -But that's only a week away! -Piece of cake! For a natural. -Happy New Year! -Happy New Year!

Indistinct chatting

"Holiday Inn" plays

Both

- If you're burdened down with trouble If your nerves are wearing thin Pack your load down the road And come to Holiday Inn - If the traffic noise affects you Like a squeaky violin Kick your cares down the stairs - And come to Holiday Inn If you can't find someone who Would set your heart a-whirl Take your car and motor to The home of boy meets girl - If you're laid up with a breakdown - Throw away your vitamin - Don't get worse - Grab your nurse - And come to Holiday Inn -Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first-ever performance at the first-ever Holiday Inn! - Happy holiday Happy holiday While the merry bells keep ringing May your every wish come true Happy holiday - Happy holiday - Happy holiday - Happy holiday May the calendar keep bringing Happy holidays To You

Sultry tune plays

Both

- If you're burdened down with trouble If your nerves are wearing thin - Pack your load down the road And come to Holiday Inn - Happy holiday Happy holiday - Happy holiday - To you

Cheering and applause

Both

-Thank you, Connecticut!

Audience laughter

Both

I would now like to bring up to the stage

one of the reasons we're all here

an original Mason from Mason Farm. Please welcome, Miss Linda Mason! -Oh.

"Happy Holiday" fanfare plays

Applause

one of the reasons we're all here

-Wow, oh, thank you. Ha! Well, I don't know what to say. Other than I am so grateful that my home is filled with light and laughter again. And I know my father would be, too. -I thought it only fitting that Linda be the first to sing on our stage. -

Chuckle

one of the reasons we're all here

-Maestro.

Let's Start the New Year Right" plays

one of the reasons we're all here

One minute to midnight One minute to go One minute to say goodbye Before we say hello Let's start the new year right Twelve o'clock tonight When they dim the light Let's begin Kissing the old year out Kissing the new year in Let's watch the old year die With a fond goodbye And our hopes as high As a kite How can our love Go wrong if -Oh. We start the new year

Crash!

one of the reasons we're all here

-Aah! -Whoa! -Ted? -

Cackling

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

I couldn't find the front door. -Ted Hanover, everybody. Ain't he a gas?

Applause

one of the reasons we're all here

What are you doing here, Ted? -I came for your big opening. -Okay, buddy, we gotta get you some hot coffee. -How about some whiskey? -Let's take it from the refrain. Maestro, two, three. Let's watch the old year die With a fond goodbye And our hopes as high As a kite How can our love Go wrong if We start the new year right? Ladies and gentlemen, the Holiday Inn Dancers.

Chuckle

one of the reasons we're all here

-Excuse me, miss! -Oh! Would you care to cut a rug? -No, no, no. Oh! Please, sir, please. -Pardon me, sir. -I'm Ted Hanover.

Clapping

one of the reasons we're all here

- Ah ah ah ah ah ah - Ahhh - Ooh ooh ooh Ahhh Ooh ooh ooh ooh Ooh ooh ooh Ooh ooh -Excuse me. - Ahhhhhh -Oh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! -Oh! -Oh! -Linda! -Uh, what do we do? -Keep singing! -Keep singing?! Let's watch the old year die With a fond goodbye And our hopes as high As a kite How can our love Go wrong if We start the new year -

Whistling

one of the reasons we're all here

- Right? - Right?

Cheering and applause

Playing overture

one of the reasons we're all here

Cheering and applause

one of the reasons we're all here

-Zzz.

Suspenseful ticking-clock music plays

one of the reasons we're all here

Ooh. Hcch. Ooh!

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

Where am I? -My bedroom. -Aah! -Aaaah!

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Who are you?! -You don't remember?

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Did we...? -Not on your life, kid. -Oh, God! Ow. Wow, there's a nasty game of pinball happening in my head. -Yeah, that gallon of whiskey might've had something to do with it. Here, take these, courtesy of Mr. Bayer.

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Good morning. I hope you slept well. I didn't. -Jim?! Where am I? -My farm in Connecticut. You broke a window, tore the upholstery to shreds, and horrified our guests! -How humiliating.

crying

one of the reasons we're all here

I'm in Connecticut?

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Do you not remember last night? -Let's see. Uh -- I got a wire, from Lila, saying she was quitting the act. I remember that all right. -Wait, Lila Dixon, quitting? -Yeah, she landed s-some millionaire from Texas who promised to make her a star. -Oh, she finally got what she wanted. -Yeah, and I got ditched! -And then you got drunk. -And then I got on a train to come see you. -And then? -And then... I woke up, in bed, with...? -Louise. -Louise.

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

Look, buddy, whatever I did, I'm sorry. -Hey, no, I'm sorry you lost your dance partner. -Yeah, so am I. If I ever want to make it out in Hollywood, I need a partner. Wait a second. Did I dance with somebody last night? -No. -No. -No! I did! Oh, she was perfect! It was like we were connected! -Ooh, you were pretty sauced last night. I don't know that you'd remember that. -I-I knew there was a reason I came here! She's my new partner. -

Scoff

one of the reasons we're all here

-She's the girl I should be takin' to Hollywood. But who was she? -You don't remember. Remember? -I remember a vague outline. -That was me! -I don't think that was the outline.

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

But I'm sure I would know her if I danced with her again. -Oh, come on, there are a million girls here who'd be dynamite with you! Oh, what's that you always say? "Girls are like buses. Miss one and there'll be another in ten minutes." -It's true! -I'm not interested in any old bus. I'm interested in that bus! -I was gonna suggest the next bus to New York.

"You're Easy to Dance With" plays

one of the reasons we're all here

-I'll dance with all the girls in your show, until I find the one I'm lookin' for. -Oh. Start with me. You never know.

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

- I could dance nightly Just holding you tightly My sweet -Eyes up, fella. - I could keep right on -Okay. Okay. - Because you're so -Wait, wait, wait! Light on your feet -Now, stop. I get that a lot. You're Easy to dance with -Nope. Where are the other bedrooms, Jim? -Right this way. -Wake up, girls! Who wants to be Ted Hanover's new dance partner? -

Squealing

one of the reasons we're all here

There is no doubt In the way you Stand out in a crowd Though it's Called dancing To me, it's Romancing out loud - You're -Ahh. - Easy to dance with -Ahh! - Loving you the way I do Makes you easy to dance with That is why I'm always right On the beat - Uh! - All those charms In one man's arms Make you easy to dance with I can hardly keep my mind on my feet - Ow! Let's dance forever Come on, say We'll never be Through - It's so easy to dance with You -Me? -

Squealing

one of the reasons we're all here

-Oh. -Whoa-oa! -Hi. -

Laughing

one of the reasons we're all here

Whoo! Whee! -iOl! Hah! Ohhh! Rawr! -Oof. -Hi.

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Agh! -Oh! Me! -You. -Uh. -That was great.

Tapping continues

Audience laughter

Tapping

one of the reasons we're all here

-Really? - I'm Easy to dance with? -A for effort. -

Gasp!

one of the reasons we're all here

Sultry tune plays

one of the reasons we're all here

-

baritone

one of the reasons we're all here

I'm Easy to dance with

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-I'll take your word for it. - I'm Easy to dance with - I'm Easy to dance with - We're Easy to dance with Ah-yeah! Oh! -Ahh... -

Exclaims

one of the reasons we're all here

-Hey! -Oh! -Ah! -Nice.

Chuckle

one of the reasons we're all here

-I got the steps down. -Right there! -So strong. -

Speaks indistinctly

one of the reasons we're all here

-

Chuckle

one of the reasons we're all here

-Yeah. -

Chuckle

one of the reasons we're all here

-Wow. -

Laughs

one of the reasons we're all here

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-All right. -Ah! -

Laughs

one of the reasons we're all here

-I'm sorry, ladies. You're all marvelous, but whoever this girl was, she must've taken the early train. I gotta find her. -Aww! It's so easy To dance with You -You're a peach! - It's so easy to dance

Kiss

one of the reasons we're all here

- Easy to dance with You

Cheering and applause

one of the reasons we're all here

-Bye, Teddy!

indistinct chatting

one of the reasons we're all here

-Bet you can't catch me! -Come back here, you little twerp!

Laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Linda! Linda, wait. I want to apologize for New Year's Eve. Are you doing all right? -Have you seen the front page of The Courier? -They canceled my subscription. -Oh. Well, the principal called me into his office. He's gotten more than a few phone calls from concerned parents. -Oh, yikes. I'm sorry. This all my fault. Tell me what can I do to help. -Nothing. Let's just say that's the extent of my showbiz comeback, huh? -But you were sensational. It was Ted who mucked it all up. -Yes, and then you punched him! -Well, I'm not proud of it, but Ted has a knack for taking away the women I care about. Look at what happened with Lila. And now you? -Me? -Linda, -

Scoff

one of the reasons we're all here

-unless I'm on some other planet, I thought you and I were finally gettin' to know each other. And like each other. -Well, that's not incorrect.

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Well, I guess that's why I'm here. To start a new chapter. Would you like to go on a date? -A date? -That's normally how these things start. -Right. -So, yes? -I'm a little out of practice. -Oh, that makes two of us.

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-What would we do?

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-We could... go for a ride on my tractor.

"Let's Take an Old-Fashioned Walk" plays

one of the reasons we're all here

-In January? -It's invigorating. -It's refrigerating. -Oh. Come on, you're not afraid of a little cold, are ya? -I spend my days with 10-year-olds. I'm not afraid of anything. -

Laughs

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

Except this date. -Who says it's a date? -Well, we don't have to do anything fancy. Let's take it one step at a time. -What's the first step? - Let's take An old-fashioned walk I'm just bursting with talk What a tale could be told If we went for an old-fashioned walk Let's take a stroll through the park Down a lane where it's dark And a heart that's controlled may relax On an old-fashioned walk I know For a couple who seem to be miles apart There's nothing like walking And having a heart-to-heart - I know A girl who declined Couldn't make up her mind - She was wrapped up and sold - Coming home from An old-fashioned walk - Some couples go for a buggy ride When they start caring a lot

Laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

- Others will bicycle side-by-side Out to some romantic spot - But when you haven't a sou - There's only one thing To do Let's take An old-fashioned walk I'm just bursting with talk What a tale could be told If we went for an - Old-fashioned walk -Ohh!

laughs

one of the reasons we're all here

What a tale could be told If we went for an old-fashioned Walk

Applause

one of the reasons we're all here

-Well, I've been wantin' to do that since Christmas Eve. -Me, too.

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Say, what are you doin' for Valentine's Day? -Oh, uh, just the usual. Dinner for one and a Russian novel.

Chuckle

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Well, how about dinner for two? And a show. -At the Inn? -It is a holiday. -As long as I'm in the audience. -No, we'll build a whole number around you! -No, it isn't right for teachers to get mixed up in those things. -Then we'll get free tickets for the principal. And the students, and the concerned parents. -

Laughs

one of the reasons we're all here

All right. -All right? -All right, yes, I'll do it. -Rehearsal starts tomorrow after school. -It's a date. - What a tale could be told If we went for an old-fashioned - Then we'll do a cross ball change I'll sweep you in a di-i-p Dance with me I want my arm about you The charm about you -Who?! Who?! The charm about who?! -Hi, Danny. -You've got a Valentine's show tomorrow. You still haven't found a new partner? -Of course, I have. Meet Theresa. -Ha ha ha. I'm laughin'. Universal called. -Universal? -As in Hollywood? -Oh, my God. -They wanna test you and Lila for a new picture! -Finally! I'm gonna be a movie star. -I didn't wanna tell him she went rogue, so I'm stalling, and I don't know how long I can hold them off. -Oh, right, right, right. -But if you don't have a girl, you don't have a chance! -I've looked all over the city, okay?! But no girl dances with me like the girl I found up at Jim's place on New Year's Eve! -Then go back to Holiday Inn and look harder! -Oh! Hi, Charlie.

chuckle

one of the reasons we're all here

What are you doing here? -Dropping off a final notice from the bank. Mr. Hardy's deep in the red, and not in a festive, Valentine's way, if you know what I mean.

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

Why are you here? -Oh, uh, well -- -Are you dating Mr. Hardy?!

Clap

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Charlie, I'm here for rehearsal for a show. -Uh-huh. Because I saw you and Mr. Hardy together in the park once. And on Main Street. So you can see how one might think you're da-a-ti-i-ng. Because you've been on a handful of da-a-tes.

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Define handful. -You're the teacher.

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Three. We've been on three dates. -I thought you liked being independent? -I do. And I like being in a relationship. -Now it's a relationship?! How will I ever trust another woman?!

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Charlie, I really can't help you with that. But I will make sure that Mr. Hardy receives his notice. Thank you. Oh, give me a piece of that. -Ugh! -Hey! Watch it! I just had that tuned yesterday! -I know. I know. I'm sorry. -So, what'd you get Linda? -For what? -Valentine's Day! -I'm not! We agreed to take it one step at a time. I don't want to put too much pressure on her. -Oh. If I were you, I'd put some pressure on those keys and play this song you've been writing for her. -Who says I've been writing a song for Linda? -Your first draft was literally called "A Song for Linda."

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Do you think it'll scare her away? -It's Valentine's Day, kid. Let 'er rip! -Ugh. -Come on. -Oh. Hi. Hi. -Hi. -Sorry I'm late. There were papers to grade and snow to shovel. Really all excuses. -Oh, it's quite all right. We're plenty busy here with preparations for tomorrow night. -Wow! Oh, this place is gonna look wonderful! -Yeah? I certainly hope so. -Um --

chuckle

one of the reasons we're all here

I have a confession to make. -What's that? -Uh, -I have never celebrated Valentine's Day before. -What?! I don't believe that. -Nope, it's true.

chuckle

one of the reasons we're all here

The only Valentines I've ever gotten are those little doily hearts from my students. -Oh, darn it! I forgot to make one!

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Are you holding a doily behind your back? -No. -Are you sure it's not a doily? -I'm sure. -You don't have to be embarrassed if it's a doily. -Please stop saying doily.

Audience laughter, clapping

one of the reasons we're all here

I wrote you a song. -"Be Careful, It's My Heart."

chuckle

one of the reasons we're all here

-I ain't kiddin', either. Sweetheart Of mine I've sent you a valentine Sweetheart of mine It's more than a valentine Be careful It's my hea...rt It's not my watch you're holding It's my hea...rt It's not the note I sent you That you quickly burned It's not the book I lent you That you never returned - Remember It's my hea...rt The heart with which So willingly I Pa...rt - It's yours to take To keep or break But, please, before you start Be careful It's my hea...rt -

Giggles

one of the reasons we're all here

-Hi, Jim. -Ted. You're back? -I'm still looking for that girl. -Oh. Which girl?

laughs

one of the reasons we're all here

-I don't believe we've met. -We haven't? -Ted, Linda. Linda, Ted. Anyway, plenty of girls here. Why don't you check the bar? -I'd love to hear more of that song first. It's terrific. It's very danceable. -You should probably be going. -Come on, play me a little. -Those girls go to bed early. -Play me a few bars, I'm gone. A-Ahem!

Sniffs sharply

one of the reasons we're all here

-Say, that's a foxtrot. -Uh-huh. -You know what a foxtrot needs? -No. -A partner. -Oh, no. I -- -Come on. Come on. Do it with me. - Remember It's my hea...rt The heart with which So willingly I Pa...rt -It was you! -What was me? -You didn't tell her? -Tell me what? -For six weeks, I have been searching for the girl that I danced with on New Year's Eve. -Oh. -You have been right here the whole time! -Hey, now, wait a minute. -I want you to be my new partner. -What? -It's a dream come true, I know. -Oh, wow! -We can start right now. I already choreographed a number for Valentine's Day. -No, no, no. You are not taking her away from me. -You're not listening to me, Jim. The idea is to do the act here. I'll bring all the newspapers up. Your business will boom. -Well, we're doing just fine. -Are you sure, Jim? I ran into Charlie Winslow outside -- -Oh, great, my favorite person. What does he want?

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Look. Jim. If the last six months have taught me anything, it's that Ted Hanover sells tickets. -No. No, I've already written the songs. The show is all set. -But you can make adjustments, right? -Of course, he can. He's just trying to hide his gratitude. -Linda, you think this is a good idea? -We've only been open six weeks. We could use the press and if Ted is a big draw... -Ted is a big draw!

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Don't we want this place -- our place -- to be the best it can be? -I suppose so. -Then why don't we give this a shot? -What were you envisioning?

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-Something that reeks of grace and charm, you know? -Oh, naturally. -It's a romantic waltz. -I was thinking more along the lines of a conga. -Oh, God.

Audience laughter

one of the reasons we're all here

-It's Valentine's Day! They want sweet and gentle! Look. The audience should swoon every time I take her into my arms. -Swoon? Oh, yes. What a joy it'll be to watch you dance with one of my girlfriends again. Anything I can do to help. -It's just a show, Jim. -All right. I'll make sure the conductor knows you want it sweet and gentle. -Terrific.

Claps, laughs

one of the reasons we're all here

Let's get to work. -

Kiss

one of the reasons we're all here

-

Giggle

Melancholy tune plays

one of the reasons we're all here

- Be careful It's my hea...rt - Heaven ah ah - Heaven - Heaven ah ah - Heaven - Heaven - Heaven - Heaven Heaven

All

Ahhhhh - Heaven - Ooh ooh ooh I'm in Heaven Ooh ooh ooh ooh ah - And my heart beats so - Ooh ooh - That I can hardly speak - Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh - And I seem to find The happiness I seek When we're out together Dancing cheek-to-cheek - Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh Heaven - Ooh ooh ooh - I'm in Heaven Ooh ooh ah - And the cares that hung - Ah ah - Around me through the - Ah ah ah ah Week - Seem to vanish Like a gambler's lucky streak When we're out together Dancing cheek-to-cheek! -Ladies and gentlemen! Holiday Inn is proud to welcome dance sensation Ted Hanover, appearing tonight with our very own Linda Mason. Oh I'd love to climb a mountain And to reach the highest peak But it doesn't thrill me half as much As dancing cheek-to-cheek

Chuckles

All

- Oh I'd love to go out fishing - Oh - In a river or a creek But I don't enjoy it half as much As dancing cheek-to-cheek - Dance with me I want my arm about you - Aah - The charm about you will -- - Aah

Conga music playing

All

- Heaven I'm in Heaven And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak -Uh-oh! -Oh! - And I seem to find the happiness I seek

Music stops

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When we're out together Dancing cheek-to-cheek

Up-tempo music plays

All

- Heaven - Heaven - I'm in Heaven - Heaven - Heaven - And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak - Aah, aah - And I seem to find the happiness I seek When we're out together dancing - Out together - Out together dancing - Out together - Out -- Ooh! - Out together, dancing cheek-to-cheek - Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh

Music ends

Applause

All

Music ends

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-What was that all about? -What was what all about? -Every time I got close to Linda, you threw the tempo. -Why were you getting close to her in the first place? That's not what we rehearsed. -When I play a role, I'm fully invested. -Yeah, a little too invested, if you ask me. -Why are you getting so touchy? -Oh, I don't know. Maybe because, every time I fall for a girl, you swan in and sprinkle stardust in her eyes! -This isn't stardust, buddy. It's business. -Yeah, it's always business with you. This is my life. -No, it's her life. Okay, Linda's good, Jim. -

Scoffs

All

-She's good enough for the big time. -No. You are not doing this. This is Lila all over again. -What is Lila all over again? -Nothing, honey. You were wonderful. You don't have to worry about a thing. -I am worried about what just happened tonight. Someone could have gotten hurt. -Well, maybe you should tell that to Teddy here. He doesn't seem to be concerned with hurting people. -What's that supposed to mean? -You wanna know what it means? -All right. What is going on between you two? -I think Jim should tell you. -Tell me what? -It's nothing. -It's not nothing. I was telling him that you and I work well together. It was clear onstage tonight. I was merely suggesting that we keep working on our act. I think we could really go places with it. Okay, I'm talking about Hollywood. -

Scoffs

All

Oh, Ted. Ted, thank you. You -- yes. Me -- no. I'm just a teacher -- -You're a star in the making. -I mean, it does sound pretty exciting.

Audience laughter

All

No, I -- I can't leave Midville. Right? -Exactly. You have your life. -I-I -- -You have your students. You have...me. -Exactly.

Chuckles

All

-All right, fine. I'm just pointing out the possibilities, you know. We put this show together in one night. Imagine what we could do with a little time. -Oh. Look, I know how it can get between two old friends, but I think Ted is just trying to help. -You can never be sure with Ted. There is a fine line between what's real and what's for show. -And tonight was for show. This is real. You and me. -You don't say. -Oh, I do say.

Telephone rings

All

-Whoever's calling me at midnight, I hope it's better than the dream I was just having. -Depends. What were you dreaming about? -Not you. -Danny! I can hear you talking all the way upstairs! -I'm on the phone with a client, Ma!

Audience laughter

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-Do you live with your mother?

Audience laughter

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-No. -Okay.

Chuckles

All

Danny, listen. I found the girl. -Which girl? -The girl from New Year's Eve. My new dance partner. -You're kidding. Where the hell was she? -At Jim's place. I'm telling you. The chemistry between us -- it's perfect. -I'm gonna need proof before I call the producers from Hollywood, boychik. -I'm gonna put something great together for Easter. Just get up here. -Hey, Ma. When's Easter?

Audience laughter

All

- On the avenue - On the avenue - Fifth Avenue - Fifth Avenue - The photographers will snap us And you'll find that you're in the rotogravure -Hey, guys, wait! One more with me. Oh, I could write a sonnet About your Easter bonnet - And of the girl -Oh, okay. Ooh! - I'm taking to the Easter parade -Oh! Thank you, boys. Here we go, everyone. -Well, hello, boys.

Sighs

All

- Never saw you look quite so pretty before Never saw you dressed quite so lovely What's more - I could hardly wait To keep our date This lovely Easter morning - And my heart beat fast As I came through the door For in my Easter bonnet - Ooh - With all the frills upon it - Ooh - I'll be the grandest lady - Ahh - In the Easter parade - Oh, I could write a sonnet - About your Easter bonnet - About my Easter bonnet - And of the girl - I'm taking - You're taking - To the Easter Parade - Aah - To the Easter Parade

Music ends

Cheering and applause

All

Music ends

All

-

Sighs

All

My goodness, the crowds have been wonderful. I guess Ted is a big draw. -My motherly intuition tells me he's still up to something. -Jim, he is filling up the place every night. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. -Oh, I'll give him doubt, all right. -All right. Some of my students are in the house tonight. I'd like to introduce you. -Okay. -Teddy! Teddy! -Danny. -Oh. -You made it. -Barely. I feel a little out of place here. I think I just got stung by a wasp.

Audience laughter

All

Oh, I don't mean the insect kind. All right, let's make this quick. I want to get the hell out of here. You were right about Linda Mason. -I told you. -She's a natural. The two of you are perfect together, boychik. -I know. -And the timing couldn't be better. The studio wants you in Hollywood next week for that screen test. -That -- That's great. There's just one problem. Linda won't go to Hollywood. -Why the hell not? -Because she's in love with Jim. -What is it with you and Jim's girls, huh? Is this, uh -- Is this a thing for you? -No.

Audience laughter

All

It's a thing for Jim. He never wants them to leave. -Well, what does Linda want to do? -Apparently, she likes it here. -Well, that's what makes her so perfect. She's fresh. She's real. Just what Hollywood loves to turn to plastic. -Look. She is perfect, but she'll never leave Holiday Inn for Hollywood. -Then... let's bring Hollywood to Holiday Inn. - On this Day of Independence On this Independence Day Listen to an American troubadour From the USA -You know what? Let's stay on the "F." It'll work better with the chord. - From the USA -Great. And then you and Ted have your big patriotic dance break. Uh, where is Ted, anyway? -Here. Sorry I'm late. -Right. Let's continue with the sequence. - We're singing a song of freedom For all people who cry out to be free -Charlie Winslow, reporting for duty. -I wasn't aware you worked here, Charlie. -Ah. The bank let me go. Something about child labor laws. -Mm. All right. Well, store these backstage for the show tonight. thanks for pitching in. -Louise, I need to arrange a pickup from the station. 6:30 train. -I'll alert the press. -No, just arrange the pickup, please. I've got some big-shot producers coming in from Hollywood. -Oh. - Free to sail the seven seas Free to worship as we please If the birds up in the trees can be free Why can't we? -That's right -- you'll want to whisk Ted and his new partner, Linda Mason, straight to Hollywood as soon as you see this show. That's right. - We're singing a song of freedom -No, no, Lila Dixon is not an option. She moved to Dallas to try to be a star. You can imagine how that's going. No, Linda Mason is the one you want. - We're singing a song of freedom For all people who cry out to be free -

Laughs

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-Operator. Get me Miss Lila Dixon in Dallas, Texas, please. It's urgent. -Ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to celebrate. It's July 4th at Holiday Inn! Let's say it with firecrackers And banners held high Let's have a real old-fashioned Noisy 4th of July Don't need any long speeches Or shouts of hooray No words can say as much As firecrackers can say And here they are, the hottest firecrackers in Connecticut -- the Holiday Inn Dancers!

Applause

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- We're singing Singing a song of freedom Singing a song For all God's people who cry out to be free Free to speak and free to hear Free from want and free from fear - Ooh - Sons of freedom far and near who agree - Sing with me That all God's people All God's people shall be free -They're here. The Hollywood producers -- they just sat down at table 12. -Table 12 -- uh, got it. -Be sure to play to them, but not too much. You don't want to look desperate. -I'm desperate to find Linda. Have you seen her? -You finish getting ready. I'll go look. -Louise, I don't understand. Why would my tap shoes be in the barn? -Because I was using them earlier. -I have never seen you tap-dance in my life. -And you don't want to. -Louise, I need to get my costume on. Our number's about to start. -Yes, it is. And you'll thank me for this one day.

Door slams

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-Hey! Wait! -I can't find Linda anywhere, and you're on in a minute and 57 seconds. -So hold the curtain. -The producers aren't gonna wait around all night. -I rehearsed a double act. -Improvise. -Improvise? Hey, kid. You're too young to be playing with fireworks. -You're too old to be playing with fireworks. -Oh! Is this the stage door to the Holiday Inn? -You're Ted Hanover's old dance partner. -Old? -Former? -Former. -Former. I thought you were living in Texas with a millionaire. -Yeah, turns out he didn't own millions -- he owed 'em. -Oh. -Anyhow, Ted and I are dancing at the Inn tonight. A couple of Hollywood producers are here to consider us for pictures.

Chuckles

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-Well, I thought Ted had a new partner.

Chuckles

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-Oh, she won't be there tonight. -Well, I was told she was dancing tonight. I work at the Inn. -Waitress? -Yes. -I know your boss Jim Hardy quite well.

giggles

All

Quite well. -Is he the one who invited you here tonight? -Who else? -Oh. Well, listen, you are late for the show already. Why don't you take the back door right this way? -Where? Here? -Yeah, take a left when you see Bessie. -Thank you.

Lock clicks

Cow moos

Screams

Audience laughter

All

We're singing a s--

Audience laughter

All

I'm singing a song of freedom

Music stops

Music resumes

Whispers

All

Just one second.

Chuckles

All

All right.

Laughs

All

Rhythmic drumming

Tapping rhythmically

All

Firework explodes

Cat screeches

All

Ohh.

Audience laughter

All

How y'all doing? Nice seats. - We're singing a song of freedom For all people who cry out to be free -Take it from bar 107. - Don't need any long speeches Or shouts of hooray No words can say as much as firecrackers -Whoa! What? Can say

Music ends

Cheers and applause

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All

-My goodness, you will not believe what just happened to me. -It better be good. You just left me out there to dry. -Not by choice. -What happened? -A bad job of sabotage. -What are you talking about? -You tried to keep me from performing tonight, didn't you? You knew there were gonna be producers here from Hollywood, and you didn't want to take the chance that I might actually be good enough to impress them. -Hey, are you feeling all right? -Quite frankly, no. I just spent the last 10 minutes locked in the barn with your ex-fiance. -With Lila? That's impossible. She's in Texas. -With a millionaire. -Actually, kids, she is in the barn with Bessie. -What? -Well, I was trying to get her onstage. -Bessie? -Lila! -Louise! Are you behind this? -I was just trying to help. -Yeah, so was I. -By taking Linda to Hollywood? -Yes, for this one screen test. -Yeah, we know how that goes. -Wait, Jim. You had no idea about the producers from Hollywood? -What producers from Hollywood? -The producers from Hollywood loved it! Not only that -- they want to do a picture about Holiday Inn. The idea behind it, how it all works, the special holiday songs -- all of it! -This is phenomenal! -Yes! Of course, it's purely on spec and far from foolproof. But I've got goose bumps about this one, and I don't get goose bumps. -When do they need us? -Right away! -I'm sorry. -

Laughs

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-The idea is not for sale. -Maybe I haven't explained this properly. They're going to pay you for the rights. -Handsomely. And they want to use Ted and Linda in the picture. -I assumed as much. Linda, is this what you want to do? -No, she wants to stay here and teach school to six kids in the middle of nowhere. What do you think she wants to do?! -All, right, Danny, let me do my own thinking, please. -Sure. Sure. -Okay. -You're killing me! -I-I don't -- I don't know. I-I mean, this is something I've always wondered about, right? -You'd be crazy to turn it down. -Jim, opportunities like this only come around once in a lifetime. -Yeah. Where have I heard that before? -Jim, I really think -- -Linda, if it's your dream, then you have to follow your heart. Make the movie. -

Gasps

All

Oh! -Great! I'll call TWA. You'll be on a flight first thing tomorrow morning. First class! Possibly. I haven't done the deal yet. Well, come on, let's go. They're dying to meet me. -How does my hair look?

Audience laughter

All

-Hey, are you okay? -Oh, I'm fine. -Jim, I was just trying to help. -I know, Lou. -Aren't you coming, Jim? They're gonna want to talk to you about the music. And who knows the story of Holiday Inn better than you do, huh? -Well, they can have it all. The story, the music, and you. -What? I thought you just said we should make the movie. -No, I said you should make it. I thought we wanted the same things, but, obviously, we don't. -No, we do want the same things. -No, we don't. I want to stay here, and you want to go to Hollywood. -Right, but can't we both -- -And I won't stand in your way, but I can't wait for you, either. I've made that mistake once before. -Okay, then what if I stay here, and then we can -- -You'd resent missing your shot at the big time. No. Linda...you should go. -Why are you doing this? I thought that you wanted to start a life -- -I want you to go. -All right, Jim... if that's how you really feel. I -- Honestly, I don't know what to say. -Neither do I. - Gone are the pretty speeches That you planned for your lucky day Funny when you're left With nothing more To say -Coming to you live from the star-studded hills of Hollywood, California, the "KRLA Thanksgiving Extravaganza" presents Ted Hanover and his new co-star, Linda Mason, who are about to start shooting their first picture, "Holiday Inn," for Universal. Linda, what are you most...

Telephone ringing

All

-

Sighs

All

Holiday Inn. -

Coughs

All

No, ma'am, sorry to say there's no Thanksgiving show. She wants to know if we're having a Christmas show. -No. -No. New Year's? -No. -No. Are we closed for good? -I don't know. -No, ma'am, we're not closed for good, but the renovations are taking longer than we thought. Uh-huh, you, too. Happy Thanksgiving. -What renovations? -Yours. Look around you. You built this beautiful place. You made a lot of people happy, including me. Including you. You gotta get that back. -No, it's over, Louise. I don't want to run this place without Linda. -And you shouldn't. You two are supposed to be together. -I know. -Then tell her. -I already did. -No, you told her to leave. Now she's acting out some phony version of her life for the cameras, and she should be right here in Connecticut living the real thing with you. -No, it's too late. -No, never. You could melt her heart right down to butter if you'd just turn on the heat.

Audience laughter

All

Go get her, Jim. -But where would I even start?

Doorbell rings

All

-Funny you should ask.

Audience laughter

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-Special delivery for Mr. Hardy. -One round-trip ticket to the City of Angels and a map of Hollywood. -And I got you this bag of licorice. Don't eat it all on the plane, though. It's Miss Mason's favorite. -And here's a head shot of Veronica Lake. If you happen to run into her, have her sign it to me personally. "Dear Louise, I love you always, Veronica."

Chuckles

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-You really are a fix-it man, aren't you? -

Chuckles

All

The best. Now, come on, buster. Let's get you packed. You're on the next flight to Hollywood!

Bell rings

All

-Clear it out! Clear it out! Clear it out! Clear it out! -Come on. -Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, please! Thank you. -Francis! Where are my lights?! -We got 10 more seasons to deliver. Come on. -How am I supposed to make a movie if I can't see? -Help me out a little bit. -Sal. A nice touch on my face. We need all the help we can get.

Indistinct conversations

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-All right, everybody! Quiet on set! -There you go. -Close 'em up!

Bell rings

All

-Okay, sweetie, I think you've got the mood. Remember the circumstances here. Your Broadway attempt was a flop. Your house is in foreclosure. Your father's dead. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Let's go.

Audience laughter

All

-"Holiday Inn," scene 4, take 17. -Rolling. -Speed. -Snow machine!

Clacks

All

-And action! -It's a shame we're not open tonight. Oh, Christmas Eve would be a smash. -Who says we're not a smash? I have a new Christmas song I just finished writing the other night. And, baby, my leading lady -- she's right here. -If you insist. -I insist. I'm dreaming Of a white Christmas

Sobs

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-I'm sorry. Can I have a moment?

Clapboard clacks

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-Cut! Another moment? Honey, this is your 17th moment today. -I know. I am so sorry.

Sobs

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-Here. Are you gonna be okay? -No, Ted, it -- it's all wrong. It's not at all how it happened. -Nobody else is gonna know that. -But I know it. Jim was the one who started singing first. I wasn't sure of myself. -Hey, hey, hey. They change the true story for the movies all the time. -I know. I know. You're --

Breathes deeply

All

You're right. Let's try it again, huh? -You sure? -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. -We're good to go again, guys. -All right, she's okay, again. -Wasn't she okay again before? -Yes, but then she wasn't. And now she is. -I can hear you.

Audience laughter

All

-Remember, if you cry, the audience won't. So let's get into the scene without getting all blubbery, okay, darling? -"Holiday Inn," scene 4, take 18. -Rolling. -Speed. -Snow machine!

Clacks

All

-And action! -It's a shame we're not open tonight. Christmas Eve would be a smash. -Who says we're not a smash? I have a new Christmas song I just finished writing the other night. And, baby, my leading lady -- she's right here. -If you insist. -I insist. I'm dreaming Of a white Christmas

Crying

All

Just like the ones I used to know - Where the treetops glisten And children listen To hear sleigh bells... -Who is that? -...in the snow -Cut!

Audience laughter

All

Who the hell's this? -Uh, it -- it's Jim. -What are you talking about? He's not Jim. He's Jim. -This is a guest, a visitor. And he was just leaving. -No, he wasn't. -For heaven's sakes!

Indistinct conversations

All

-All right, folks. Let's take an early lunch. Clear it out!

Bell rings

All

-Golly! -

Chuckles

All

-What are you doing here? I thought you wanted me out of your life. -No, just the opposite. I'm sorry this took me so long. I should have asked you the night the Hollywood producers were there. -Or before that.

Audience laughter

All

-And I am fully prepared to stay here for the entire film shoot, even if it means I have to become an errand boy. I will move here if that's what you want. -Move here?

Crying

All

I hate it here. -Linda Mason......will you marry me? -Yes. -

Chuckles

All

Yes? -Yes. -Oh, she said yes. -Yes. Now kiss me already. -Mm. -But what about the picture? You can't just up and leave. We've barely started shooting. -Good. Then it won't be too much trouble to replace me. -You say that like it won't be too much trouble. May I remind you, you have a contract here. -Danny. It's just paper. -So is money. -Danny. Hey, every now and then, it's a good idea to pause in our pursuit of happiness to just......be happy. Let's go, boychik. -

Chuckles

All

-Is she really walking out on this?

Laughter

All

-Yes, I am. I'm going home... to my real home... to Holiday Inn.

Applause

"Universal Studios Theme" playing

All

Music fades

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-It's a shame we're not open tonight. Christmas Eve would be a smash. -Oh, who says we're not a smash? I have a new Christmas song I just finished writing the other night. And, baby, my leading lady -- she's right here. -If you insist. -I insist.

Audience laughter

All

Playing "Steppin' Out with my Baby"

All

- Steppin' out with my baby Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right Ask me when will the day be The big day may be Tonight Here she comes, down the street - I'll admit my defeat - I won my hot toddy - Over my scarred body - I knew that I'd win singing - Just wait until she gets a load of your dancing - We'll stay at the Inn singing - All by myself, I'll have to stick to my dancing -Yoo-hoo! Oh, no, my friend I'm here to end your dancing trouble and strife This will be fun Miss Hit-and-Run Has come back into my life -You made it. -Straight from the red carpet. -Special delivery for Mr. Hardy. -You know what, Charlie? You're all right. You can stick around. -I know. In a few years, you'll be working for me.

Laughter

All

-What do you say, kids? There's no bigger holiday than a wedding. - Heaven - Heaven - I'm in Heaven - I'm in Heaven - And my heart beats so - Ahhhh - That I can hardly speak - Ahhhh -Mr. Hardy, we have a lot to live up to. -How do you mean? -Our Hollywood alter egos -- pretty glamorous.

Audience laughter

All

-Mrs. Hardy, I prefer the real thing. - When we're out together Dancing cheek-to-cheek Ahh, ahh, ahh Ahhhhh

Music ends

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And come to Holiday Inn

Music ends

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-To find out more about "Holiday Inn" and other "Great Performances" programs, visit pbs.org/greatperformances. Find us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Music ends

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