Grantchester

LEONARD: Your mother's first visit.

She'll be so proud.

ALPHY: Mira, this is everyone.

(all greeting) The gentleman I was expecting at the halfway house, he's back inside.

ALPHY: Had the dream again.

GEORDIE: Of course you did.

It's because you haven't asked your mam the big questions.

I thought where you left me had some kind of meaning.

I'm so sorry.

(birds chirping) ALPHY: We start the day with morning prayer.

Go through correspondence.

Try to keep on top of the admin.

Then it's meeting people for weddings, christenings, funerals.

Ah.

The whole arc of life.

Exactly!

(chuckles) Visits to the school, care home, halfway house.

Then bookend the day with evening prayer.

(chuckles) And how much time is set aside for these police cases?

Well, uh, it's not an official part of the job.

I'm just teasing.

(giggles) Though I've never seen a pandit make murder his business.

A pandit?

A priest.

Right, of course.

(both chuckle) (sighs) (object bangs) (bangs) (banging continues) Hey!

Sorry!

Uh, sorry!

Sorry!

Hey, stop!

Hey!

(grunts) Stop!

I, I didn't do anything!

Then why are you running?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Okay, okay-- I'm not gonna hurt you.

So, you can stop apologizing and start explaining.

It's a dare.

An initiation, really-- procure a bible from a church.

Steal a bible?

Ridiculous, I know-- college hijinks.

(sighs) Is this really the way you want to spend your time at university?

I'm not like this.

Never so much as stole an apple in my life.

All the work to get in here, and... Well, I didn't realize college would be like this.

(sighs) You're a freshman?

(sighs) Life rarely turns out the way we expect.

Just be yourself.

I fear being myself is a hindrance.

But thanks.

Um, I'd best be... This initiation, this club, it, it means a lot to you?

What's your name?

Norris.

Norris Featherstone.

Take this, Norris Featherstone.

Alphaeus.

Thank you.

(laughing) I promise to return it.

Oh, I'll be waiting.

MIRA: So, this is normal student behavior?

Well, he's trying to impress his friends, prove himself-- it's, it's natural.

My goodness!

Were you like that?

(chuckling): I had my moments, yeah!

Why do you think I got this car?

MIRA: It doesn't even have a roof.

That's what I said.

Very impractical.

And it guzzles petrol.

And it's far too fast.

Please tell me you're not bringing another murder case to his door.

No, I brought chips.

Oh!

Mm?

Thank you.

Mm.

Thought I'd see if you were at a loose end, but... Another time, perhaps.

No, no.

There's a bus in a minute if I want to catch a good train.

I'd best be going.

Mm-- you're sure?

MIRA: I've had a wonderful time.

I'll get your things.

So, he's given you the grand tour?

Oh, it's very beautiful.

He's loving having you here.

He is, yes.

You okay?

We live such different lives.

Well, just give it time.

ALPHY: Here we go.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Come here.

Bye.

Bye, Mira.

(sighs) That's a lot for her to take in.

No kidding.

I don't think she had Christian vicar on her bingo card.

No.

But lots of families have different beliefs.

Mm!

Yeah, I believe jam goes on the scone first.

Cathy believes it's cream.

It's a wonder we've lasted.

A bit more time.

You know, the more she visits... ...the more common ground we'll find.

Just, you know, tread carefully.

Hm, of course.

(inhales) DANIEL: How bad do you think it is?

The worst I've ever seen.

The worst?

Frankly, I'm doubtful there's a way back from this.

We're past the point of no return?

At best, we're on the cusp.

The cusp of the point of no return?

This could mark the end of us here.

Because there's mold in the spare room?

What's really up?

Apart from the mold?

Nothing, why?

Yesterday, you fixed the garden gate.

Then you changed Mrs.

Bennett's tires.

Today, you've been exploring the spare room.

And I haven't done the dishes in a week.

God forbid I try to be helpful!

The halfway house is empty till next month.

We've had fallow periods before.

You don't usually get this, um... Industrious?

Bothersome.

If we had a hundred guests, you'd still be like this.

What is it?

I'm missing the church.

(laughing) We've finally found peace, and you just want to touch the iron!

I thought you'd moved on from this.

I can't.

I had purpose there.

You have purpose now.

A spiritual purpose.

Helping fallen men is wonderful, but it's lacking in the divine.

And I need that, if only for a few hours a week.

It's part of who I am.

If I took away your camera, would you stop looking for beauty?

Okay.

You need to talk to Alphy.

(siren blaring in distance) (footsteps approaching) (clears throat) Yesterday's witness reports for you, I'm afraid.

Really?

(men shouting) (shouting, arguing) (groans) Christ on a bike.

(shouting continues) Look at him!

He's got guilty written all over his face!

This is totally unnecessary!

SIMON: We're completely innocent!

It's these boorish warts from Oxford!

Shoe the Tabs!

Shoe the ruddy... (muted)damn bloody Oxford!

(muted)damn Oxos!

Shut it, the lot of you!

OFFICER: Quiet!

(shouting stops) Take their names!

I wasn't there!

I saw him do it!

Oh, this is ridiculous.

What's all this nonsense?

LARRY: Oxford lot are in town.

Brawling down the Pickerel with some of ours.

Barmaid got pushed in the river.

Didn't they do this back in March with the bloody Boat Race?

It's not the rowers.

Rugby, then?

As far as I can tell, quiz teams.

Quiz teams?

SIMON: Oi, Tring!

Who said police efficiency... Uh, Simon, let's not make this worse.

SIMON: Shush, Norris!

Who said police efficiency "is not measured on the number of arrests, but on the lack of crime"?

Henry Fielding-- too easy.

(laughs) It was Robert Peel, you dullard!

(laughs) If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow off your hat!

I'll give you dynamite.

Yeah, go on, then!

Come on, then!

MAN: Come back here!

(exclaims) Bobbies!

(chanting): Bobbies!

ALL: Bobbies!

Bobbies!

Bobbies!

Bobbies!

Bobbies!

Bobbies!

(exclaims) (laughing, groans) Bloody students.

LARRY: You looking to get charged with theft and all?

Shove him in the cells to sleep it off.

What about the rest of them?

OFFICER: Oi, oi, oi, get inside.

You want me to give them the full "It's a Wonderful Life," boss?

Huh?

Make them wish they'd never been born.

Ah, knock yourself out, Larry.

It was him, that plum!

ADAMS: I can assure you this whole escapade is incredibly out of character.

Simon has a spotless record at Jesus College.

He's a brilliant, thoughtful, conscientious student.

GEORDIE: So conscientious, he gave that barmaid a free bath in the Cam.

I've every right to charge him, Professor Adams.

(exhales) If anyone is to blame, it's me.

I invited the Oxford team here.

You invited them for a quiz?

"University Challenge"?

You must have heard of it.

The one with the impossible questions?

That's it!

Bamber Gascoigne, starter for ten.

An aspirational statement on English education.

I'm overseeing the Jesus College entry.

I heard our sister college was doing the same and saw a way to sharpen our minds on the whetstone of competition.

Sharpen your minds?

More like bloody your knuckles.

Inspector, please, strike this up to the folly of youth.

And I will be disciplining Simon and all of those involved.

I do not want to see that lad again, unless it's on the telly.

(chuckles) You won't regret it, Inspector.

(door closes) LEONARD: Alphy, there's something I'd like to talk to you about.

The thing of it is, I've had time on my hands lately, with the halfway house being empty.

Oh, that is perfect, Leonard, because I've had none.

Yup.

My mother's visiting again today, and, and I realized I need to start cooking with her in mind.

I need ingredients.

Oh!

And not from the village grocer's.

I, I could pop into town for you.

(sighs) Thank you.

Try the Kohinoor.

Oh, I'll write you a list, and Leonard, I'll owe you one.

(phone rings) D.I.

Keating.

LARRY (over phone): Boss, I need you down at Jesus College.

I'm at a loss, Larry.

Didn't we just tell these eggheads to stay out of trouble?

We did.

Bloody students.

(door opens) (door closes) Christ.

Norris Featherstone.

Bedder found him this morning just after 11: 00.

GEORDIE: Was he at the station last night?

Thought it might've been suicide till I saw that.

And there's this.

ALPHY: I gave this to him.

He was involved in some initiation.

Had to steal a bible.

Did he say what the initiation was for?

No.

A student club, I imagine.

So, someone came in, tied his hands, and strangled him with his belt?

Well, we'll see what the coroner says, but looks likely.

ALPHY: These are college colors?

Mm-hmm, but this is Jesus College, so it should be red and black.

There's no sign of forced entry, so, someone Norris knew?

Or who had access.

And these marks here might mean they tried to hang him from the door.

"They"?

You think more than one person?

Well, it would take two to lift him, and... But state of it, maybe one person tried, door gives out, and they finish the job on the floor.

Have you spoken to his family?

His father's in a home.

And I don't think he understood.

Mum's long passed.

He was all alone.

He was keeping some kind of journal, by the look of it.

His ink blotter.

Could be from the last thing he wrote.

GEORDIE: "Barbara's tea rooms."

Mm.

That doesn't give us much.

No, but we should check if it matches anything in his journal.

Knock yourself out.

You don't think the last thing he wrote could be a clue?

Nah, I think what was in his pocket was a bigger clue.

Stimadryn, but more commonly known as purple hearts.

Yeah, a mix of amphetamine and barbiturates.

That, that doesn't sound like the Norris I met.

'Cause you knew him so well.

ADAMS: It's awful.

Awful situation.

(dog whining) But you're wrong if you think a fellow student did this.

Why's that?

Well, if there's one thing I've sought to instill into this team, it's an ethos of camaraderie and cooperation.

Then who else could've got in?

Must I do your job for you?

The porters?

The bedders?

An unruly guest?

Ah, so anyone but one of your students?

They are the best of the best.

What was Norris like?

Mm, a keen mind.

Impressive recall.

He could've taken us to the final.

Did he have many friends?

Hm?

I'd like to understand how he fit in here.

ADAMS: He was quiet.

I encouraged him, along with all the other candidates, to socialize.

Build a spirit of unity.

You know what these are?

Uh, I'd hazard a, um, barbiturate of some kind?

Ten points, Professor.

Any reason why Norris would have them?

Anxiety issues, perhaps?

I'm gonna need a list of all your quiz candidates.

There is something I should mention.

Last night, after the, uh, dbcle at the police station, I checked that all our Oxford guests were back and in their rooms.

One of them was missing.

I found the fellow wandering the courts.

This was at about 1: 00 a.m.?

And you didn't think to mention this earlier?

I hoped you had another line of inquiry.

Who was it?

Russell Tring.

When did you meet Norris?

Yesterday.

For the pub quiz.

Did you speak with him?

I said hello.

There's no harm in that, is there?

There was a fight.

It was your Tabs that started it!

"Tabs," um, what does that mean?

"Shoe the Tabs."

It's what his Oxford lot say every time they kick off.

"Tabs" is Latin.

Cantabrigian, Cantabs.

To shoe them is to give a good beating.

Mm, like poor Norris.

Last night, Professor Adams found you wandering the grounds.

Hunting for a victim?

No-- I needed some air.

Aw, trouble sleeping, mm?

Nothing to do with...?

What are they?

Don't play silly buggers.

I have no idea.

It must be a thrill to represent your college on "University Challenge."

I guess so.

Mm-- you wear the college colors?

Have a scarf with you?

Someone stole it.

Yeah.

Look a bit like this, did it?

They make hundreds of them.

Mm-hmm, how many have the initials "R.T."

on them-- Russell Tring?

Wait, where did you get that?

Oh, you don't remember?

When you used it to tie Norris's hands behind his back before choking him to death?

Oh, Christ, no, no, no!

I, I didn't do it!

Russell... No, I lost that when I came here last night-- someone took it!

You've got motive, you've got means, and you've got no alibi.

Why would I kill someone over a quiz?

I don't even know him!

NORRIS: 28th Feb.

If old self broken, cast him out.

Time to reject loneliness and renew myself.

Aimed for Clark Gable.

Landed on Tolkien at his most Hobbity.

I imagine Martha's grin.

The dirty laugh.

I miss it.

(coughs violently) (men laughing) NORRIS: Nave to assume I'd fit in.

Couldn't be the man Father wanted.

Why would here be any different?

Martha was right all along.

(door creaks) Yeah.

Cause of death, asphyxiation.

Alcohol in his system, but not to excess.

And none of the Stimadryn.

Yeah, double fisherman's knot.

Very hard to tie behind your own back.

So, someone else restrained him.

Roll down the sheet?

There's heavy bruising.

Looks like he's been beaten.

Mm-- some recent, some older.

Or maybe he was being bullied?

Those are cigarette burns.

Now, do they pre-date Russell and the Oxford team arriving?

Well, yes, but it was strangulation that killed him, and Russell was around for that.

Aren't you just a little bit curious about all of this?

I mean... You know, he writes about not fitting in.

He didn't know who he was.

His teammates, maybe they know something.

TRAVERS: Here's your starter for ten.

Finish the poetic sentence that begins, "Know then thyself, presume not..." "Presume not God to scan.

The proper study of mankind is Man."

TRAVERS: Correct.

Excuse me.

Not yet, please.

TRAVERS: For five points each, which cities... GEORDIE: Excuse me, I need to talk to... You can see we're in the middle of a round?

TRAVERS: For five points each, which cities are the locations for the following Shakespeare plays?

Firstly, "A Midsummer Night's Dream."

Athens.

Five points.

Second, "The Taming of the Shrew."

Ooh... (sighs): Padua?

Or was it Venice?

Um... Venice.

I'm afraid it was Padua.

(sighs) Ah, yes, of course.

And third, "A Comedy of Errors."

Oh, um... (exhales) Goodness.

TRAVERS: Afraid I have to hurry you.

Ephesus.

Is this college aware of the aggressive initiation practices you have for your quiz team?

We're a dedicated bunch, but we're hardly the Bullingdon lot.

Norris was covered in bruises.

He could be a bit clumsy.

Bright lad?

Never revised.

He just absorbed it all.

Did you know him well?

SIMON: I don't think anyone did.

Quiet little oddball.

I only knew him as our art and lit specialist.

And your specialism?

SIMON: I'm more an all-rounder.

Captain type.

I've got the trophies to prove it.

You ever use these to think quicker?

Why?

What are they?

Don't play dumb, son.

(sighs) Look, they're not really my cup of tea.

ALPHY: Was Norris using them?

(whispers): Yeah.

(aloud): He offered them to all of us.

I saw him talking to one of the Oxford lads.

Probably pushing on them, too.

I need Russell Tring out of his cell for questioning.

A Professor Adams is in with him.

Said it was his responsibility to check on Russell's welfare.

He's in with him now?

(Russell and Adams shouting) LARRY: That's enough!

Enough!

RUSSELL: How could you?!

(crying): You killed him!

LARRY: Back off!

(Adams whimpering) You killed him, you bastard!

(panting) GEORDIE: You've no alibi for Norris's murder.

Now you're attacking people.

This is not looking good, Russell.

Attacking Adams here, of all places, it... It's not a rational action.

You're clearly upset.

Talk to us.

We can help, mm?

I did know Norris.

We went to the same school.

We were friends.

It was more than that, wasn't it?

GEORDIE: I'm investigating a murder, not anyone's romantic interests.

It was more.

But my parents sensed it.

Forbade us from seeing each other.

So, separate universities-- that was that.

He started writing to me.

You're Martha.

From his journal.

Martha?

It's from my surname, Tring.

Tring's where George Washington's family came from, so, you know, Martha Washington.

You didn't fancy just "Russ"?

No, Norris was keeping your name out of his writings so no one would know.

RUSSELL: That's when he came up with his mad idea.

"Let's both get on to 'University Challenge.'"

Be a legitimate way of seeing each other again.

There must've been easier ways.

(sighs) I wish.

It's bloody hard.

But you made it.

You met up.

Norris wouldn't talk to me.

All this way, all this effort, and he was avoiding me.

He wouldn't say a word.

Why do you think that was?

Did he offer you the purple hearts?

No, no, that's not his thing.

ALPHY: Russell, what were you doing out of your room when Professor Adams spotted you?

I thought Norris might talk to me in private.

But he didn't answer because he was dead on the other side of that door 'cause of Adams!

Look, Norris wrote to me.

He said that Adams had wined and dined them at this chophouse till they got thrown out.

Then he held it over them.

Said, "Meet my standards or face expulsion."

Adams was trying to silence Norris!

You have these letters?

No, I... I burned them.

I was worried I'd get found out.

Then it's your word against Professor Adams'.

(door closes) I believe him.

Hm?

He's spinning a sob story.

It's a lovers' tiff that got out of hand.

Okay, what about the words on the ink blotter?

They don't match anything in his journal.

What if the murderer stole the last thing he wrote?

It's an easy win, Alphy.

Go home.

Your mum's up today, isn't she?

Yeah.

(sighs) Yeah, she'll be on the train now.

Orchard Tea Rooms, I thought.

Then a quiet supper at mine.

That sounds lovely.

This is everything.

They were so friendly.

Never been called "dahl" so much in my life.

(chuckles) Leonard, you are a lifesaver.

I owe you for this.

Well, I did wonder if you could speak to the bishop for me.

Hm, and what would I be asking?

If I could come back, in some form or other.

(sniffing) A lay preacher, perhaps.

I want to feel like I'm doing God's work in the community.

Of course.

You know it's a long shot.

But I'm seeing the bishop in a few weeks, I'll... I'll talk to him then.

Hm?

That would be marvelous.

(people talking in background) I thought we could go through my old photographs later?

Maybe you could bring some of yours next time-- or I can come to you.

Yes, you must.

You don't need to be spoiling me like this.

I'd be happy with tea at your house.

Oh, it's a Grantchester tradition, tea amongst the trees.

Oh, I have to take you to the Fitzwilliam.

And there is a fantastic library in... I'm here to see you.

MEG: Alphy!

Oh, Meg.

(laughing) Oh.

Fancy meeting you here.

(chuckles) Oh!

Oh, sorry, uh... (both chuckle) Oh, um, Meg, this is Mira, my... My mother.

(chuckles) Uh, Mira, this is Meg.

Hello.

Oh, wow, it's very nice to meet you.

How do you two know each other?

He kept visiting my library.

It has all the best books, so... It's hardly the Wren or the Pepys.

(chuckles) Dad says you've been well.

You asked about me?

I overheard him mention "the loony with the Triumph Herald."

(both chuckle) Your father?

ALPHY: Oh, uh, her father is the bishop-- my boss.

I shouldn't interrupt, but I had to say hello.

Let's catch up again.

I'd love that.

(inhales) Is she your girlfriend?

My girl... (chuckles) No, no, no.

We're just friends.

Aren't you breaking a vow?

I, I'm not Catholic, so... But people are looking.

Nobody's looking.

We'll get thrown out.

Let's go.

Thrown out.

Thrown out-- the staff would remember that.

(Mira talking faintly) ALPHY: No, it's fine, come on.

Good afternoon.

Alphy.

Mira?

Everything all right?

Can I use your telephone?

I've a... Well, I've got a hunch.

Sure.

(footsteps approaching) Have a seat, Mrs.... Kottaram?

Uh, Kohli.

My name is Miss Kohli.

(typewriters clacking) It's hard to tell whether he's more copper or vicar sometimes.

(chuckling): He's quite a puzzle.

Uh, he's happy, isn't he?

Yes.

Especially now he's found you.

Mm.

But he, he was happy before?

I think so.

I, I worry... ...I'm going to break his heart.

No, you'll never.

Alphy's in this for the long haul.

If you're not, please don't mess him about.

ALPHY: Geordie.

(siren blaring in distance) Russell said the quiz team got thrown out of the chophouse.

Well, I just rang them.

There was a regular student meet-up which got quite lively-- staff insulted, property damaged... Like the quiz at the Pickerel.

The ringleader was called Simon.

Simon, who was in our cells when Norris died.

Sure, but if Professor Adams was pushing these students, arranging these events... We've got the Oxford lad for it.

Geordie, Russell said Professor Adams was trying to silence Norris.

We have to follow this up.

Uh, I've got to go.

But I'll see you at the vicarage for dinner.

ALPHY: You used the incidents at the chophouse to put pressure on your students.

I ensured the stakes were high.

Did Norris challenge your methods?

Threaten to expose you?

No.

My methods are sound.

I tried to help Norris.

He refused.

He refused the purple hearts?

Fine, yes.

I suggested Stimadryn.

It isn't dangerous.

Norris would've benefited.

Sharpens the edges, lets them work for longer.

Sounds a lot like cheating to me.

They study harder than anyone, and for that, I reward them commeasurably.

And if the price of these excesses is a restaurant's cleaning bill, well, so be it.

These boys are the peak of human achievement.

Yeah, they're not artists or inventors.

They're, they're human textbooks.

ADAMS: They're thoroughbreds who will run the commerce and government of this country, not chase petty thieves or preach fairy tales to the elderly.

There it is.

The old town and gown prejudice.

On the point of intellectualism, it's simply a fact, Inspector.

Really?

Your lads wouldn't last five minutes against Alphy here.

Well, if you can cobble a team together, we'll happily take you on.

But until then, we have nothing further to discuss.

(clears throat) He's hiding something.

We have nothing on him.

Hm.

Then we keep digging.

Alphy?

Stop.

You keep pushing and pushing and rooting for these two lads because something's chimed with you.

But people turn on each other.

Over nothing.

They're pointless, stupid deaths.

When did you become so jaded?

When did you become so nave?

Why did you bring your mother into the station?

(laughs) To, to show her my world?

It was weird.

And you shouldn't... What?

Just lower your expectations.

I'm all right for advice, thanks.

LEONARD: That smells delicious!

We've brought a trifle.

Uh... Dinner's just me and Mira.

Oh!

I... I thought we were all part of the... Oh, dear.

LEONARD: ...weekly routine.

Uh... Mrs.

C and Jack are coming, too.

Hm.

(typewriter clacking, phone ringing) Miss Scott.

We had any reports of break-ins or thefts from chemists recently?

I'll look into it.

(clock ticking) JACK: Uh... Maybe we should just start?

Jack!

(exhales) I'll just, I'll just check, on the, um... She could still make it.

I won't if we wait any longer.

After all that trouble.

(chuckles) She's not coming, is she?

My first husband, Ronnie, disappeared during the war.

For ten years, I thought he was dead.

And then, out of the blue, he came back.

What happened?

I hoped for the best and got the worst.

I've come to think it's better to do the opposite of that.

(chuckles) It's... It's not like that, Mrs.

C, I mean, it's not a trick or a trap.

You know, something came up, she couldn't call, that's it.

Everything's fine.

GEORDIE: I heard about last night.

I'm sorry, Alphy.

Did she leave a message?

I don't know what I did wrong.

It wasn't you.

ALPHY: She did not like the tea rooms.

Saw Meg there.

(sighs) She didn't like her, either.

It won't be that.

(sighs) I mean, I've done okay, haven't I?

Maybe it's not about you doing well.

Maybe it's about being in different worlds.

I'm sorry I got shirty yesterday.

Don't be.

You were right.

It's easy to get a thick skin in this job.

Listen to your vicar.

That'll be on my gravestone.

(chuckles) Our last words.

We never looked into Norris's last words.

Not asked the right person.

Does this mean anything to you?

Barbara's Tea Rooms?

Finest in Southport.

At least according to the sign.

Norris and I went for a day trip there.

Yeah, we walked the promenade, bought candy floss.

By the time we got to Barbara's, all we could afford was a glass of milk.

(voice breaks) Sorry, it's silly.

No, not at all.

Go on, please.

(crying): Yeah, this waitress came over and she brought these cups of tea and cakes and jams.

I mean, we panicked.

(chuckling): We hadn't ordered it, and we would be in such trouble, you know.

She pointed out this very well-to-do-looking lady at another table.

(voice trembling): Said we reminded her of her son and his friend.

She paid for the lot, mm?

And we ate like kings.

And then we ran back to the station.

I had to get the early train back, but, um... ...that was the last time we were properly together.

And no one else knew about this?

Not a soul.

If Adams did it, he's seen the last thing Norris wrote.

And that phrase, "Barbara's Tea Rooms."

You know, maybe it implicated him and he took it.

We can't prove it.

MISS SCOTT: I've found you a thief.

The chemist on Hills Road had a break-in last week.

"Student type in a tweed jacket."

They took all their Stimadryn.

Snap.

Same bottle we found on Norris.

He was dealing them.

Or he was being forced to steal them.

You know, like your bible?

That's more than a prank, that's... That's risking arrest.

Maybe they had something over him.

Maybe they knew his inclinations.

Adams.

Still not proof.

Well, we need to make him confess.

Mm-hmm, how?

"The play's the thing."

The play?

"Hamlet."

Yes!

Professor Adams.

I accept your challenge.

My what?

My team versus yours.

(chortling): You're not serious.

Well, if you don't think you can win... Oh, we'll win.

Well, then, it's on.

(people talking in background) You know what to do?

MAN (whispering): Stuff them!

Ah, Professor.

Here we are, just a vicar with a theological diploma, two grammar school educations, and.... School of hard knocks.

Yeah.

Distinction.

You can't have a mixed-sex team.

That's absurd.

ALPHY: Why not?

It's a friendly game.

ADAMS: I'm sorry, but she's a distraction.

(laughs) And for who?

Yourself?

Too late, I'm already spoken for.

(stammering) I didn't mean... (sighs) Fine.

But if you intend to make a mockery of this competition, I'll see you all thrown out.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

In April 1912, Harriet Quimby became the first woman to fly solo over which body of water?

(dings) The English Channel.

TRAVERS: Correct.

After oxygen and hydrogen, what is the most abundant element in the hydrosphere?

(bell dings) Chlorine.

Correct.

What?

Which Protestant ruler was deposed by the Catholic Mary I and sentenced to death in 15... (bell dings) Lady Jane Grey.

Correct.

Bloody hell.

TRAVERS: Moving on to the next round.

(dings) London, Moscow, and Helsinki.

(bell dings) SIMON: Woodrow Wilson.

(dings) The Northwest Passage.

(bell dings) The Battle of Thermopylae.

Correct.

The powdered ash of burned kelp and other seaweeds is a source of which element in the halogen group used in photography?

(dings) Iodine?

Correct.

Yes!

Thank you, Daniel.

The rod of Asclepius is the symbol of which branch of science?

(dings) Is it medicine?

Correct.

Which character sings "A Wand'ring Minstrel I" in... That's Nanki-Poo.

(dings) TRAVERS: Correct.

The Battle of Bosworth Field was the last significant battle of which civil conflict?

(dings) The Wars of the Roses.

Correct.

Your starter for ten.

(dings) Lincoln Cathedral.

(dings) Sigmund Freud.

(dings) Mercury.

What is the name of the tea rooms widely regarded as the best in Southport?

(dings) Barbara's Tea Rooms.

TRAVERS: Correct.

(grunts softly) Nothing.

Geordie.

Mm?

Norris's final letter.

Trophy hidden in a trophy.

GEORDIE: So, Barbara's Tea Rooms.

I heard the name somewhere.

It doesn't mean anything.

It meant a lot to Norris.

He wrote about it the night he died.

I was in your cells when he died.

I had nothing to do with it.

You're right.

Norris's last letter was a suicide note.

See?

So, no one was murdered.

I've done nothing wrong.

Then why did you hide it?

This is ridiculous.

I kicked you out of here at 9: 00 a.m.

The bedder found Norris at 11: 00.

You had time to get in his room, to find him.

But you didn't report it.

Because it's lies.

Norris lied.

He couldn't hack it and he blamed me.

He says you tormented him.

That Adams pitted you against each other, with carte blanche to dish out beatings and humiliation, and you, you... You took that to the extreme.

No, I tried to make something of him.

You punched and demeaned him!

You put out cigarettes on his arm.

And when you learned of his inclinations, you forced him to steal more purple hearts, after Adams turned you on to them.

And then you accused Norris of being the dealer.

ALPHY: Yeah, you didn't have to kill him, because you made him want to do it himself.

GEORDIE: And you hid the letter because you were so scared of us all finding out exactly what kind of man you are.

ALPHY: I think you hated Norris because he didn't have to cram and take pills.

(chuckles) He was better than you.

And he didn't even care about "University Challenge."

He just... Just wanted to see his friend again.

You can't hold me accountable for his failings.

If he took his life, that's on him.

You can't arrest me.

(chuckles) You've got all the answers.

But you don't have a bloody clue.

You found Norris dead in his room and bound his hands to make it look like murder by Oxford.

You hid the letter, which you could've burned, but were too cocky to let go of.

And then, you lied to us.

You're facing life imprisonment for perverting the course of justice.

(exhales) (sighs) (knocking) (calling): Five minutes, Larry.

Larry, I said... Chief Inspector.

Geordie, may I?

Of course.

I'm going to guess Jesus College has made a complaint?

No, but thanks for the tip-off.

Anything I should be worried about?

Oh, we just ruffled a few feathers.

Anything I should be worried about, sir?

There's a position about to become vacant.

Mine.

You're retiring?

Well, the golf course fondly beckons.

(chuckles) I'm happy to be out of it, but I'd like to know that I'm leaving the station in safe hands, and I wondered if you would be interested in applying, when the time comes.

Bloody hell.

I figured I'd be doing this till they cart me out in a box.

Obviously, it's a step away from the front lines.

More operational.

It's a lot to think about, I know.

But do think about it.

Sir.

(door opens) (door closes) Norris would want you to have this.

NORRIS: Dearest Martha, I'm afraid I've got myself in a terrible mess.

My nature has been uncovered.

It's put me in servitude to a monster, Simon Bailey.

Odd how such a small and prosaic name contains my undoing.

But there it is.

SIMON (in flashback): My name?

Yeah, Simon Bailey.

NORRIS: He's the reason I kept my distance tonight.

Russell Tring.

NORRIS: Couldn't give him more munitions for his war on my soul, or drag you into this hell, too.

I took your scarf.

Honestly, you've no idea what an absurd dandy you look in it.

I don't think I've ever been so in love.

I want you to know that I truly hope you find your purpose.

(exhales) NORRIS: That you make better choices than I did.

But most of all, I want you to know that in a short, uneventful life, you made me happy.

Remember us... I don't know where to start.

NORRIS: ...with sunshine, shared cigarettes, and cakes at Barbara's Tea Rooms, the finest in Southport.

I'm just sorry that this time I caught the early train.

I'll be here, at the next station, waiting for you.

Forever yours, Norris.

(crying) (breath trembling) Any messages?

Parish council's postponed.

And Mr.

Lowell asked to borrow a rake.

Nothing from your mum.

I'm sorry.

(lock turns) (brake engages, engine stops) Hey.

Alphy.

Hello again.

I was hoping I'd catch you.

I wondered if you'd like to go for a bite and a catch-up?

(sighs): Oh, Alphy, that's sweet, and... I mean, I'd love to, but I, uh... You've got plans.

I've got plans.

(chuckles) Ah.

(laughs) Right, I... I guess I thought... We're friends, yeah?

That's what we decided.

We did.

We did, um... I'm sorry, I... I can't believe you found your mum.

That must be bliss.

Yeah, it's great, yeah.

I'm so happy for you.

I really am.

(click) LEONARD: If we work out his pattern, we'll know where he'll strike next.

ALPHY: You were going to ask how I was doing, and the answer is fine.

ALLEGRA: He made our lives a misery.

Stay for a little bit, would you?

(both chuckling, cork pops) ANNOUNCER: Visit our website for videos, newsletters, podcasts and more.

And join us on social media.