Grandma Stand

Grandma's hand used to hand me a piece of candy.

Grandma's hands picked me up each time I fell.

She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands."

Grandma's hands.

Mmm-mmm-mmmm.

Grandma Susan: And what's your name?

Bridget: Bridget.

Grandma Susan: Bridget, hi, I'm Grandma Susan.

So what would you like to talk about, Bridget?

Bridget: The question of the day talks about what stands between, like, me and happiness, and something that I've been more specifically struggling with, especially since I moved to the city, was safety and almost like irrational fear of, I guess like, death in a way, so it's like physical anxiety.

My stomach now actually turns.

I thought that that was just a saying, I didn't know that actually happened, right?

Grandma Susan: Where are you from?

Bridget: I'm from Oklahoma.

Growing up in such a small, like secluded town, I was really in like a safe bubble.

Moving to the city recently, I guess my mind assumes with anxiety that there's like more chances of something happening, I suppose, and also being so far from people I love as well, it's tough, yeah.

Grandma Susan: Most people really fear change.

It does bring up in us those visceral feelings of loneliness, a bit of isolation.

It's normal to go into kind of a grieving with change when something has happened we don't want, but then what are we gonna do about it?

What are we gonna do about it?

We have to help ourselves.

How do you feel about talking about these feelings?

Bridget: When I do like try to open up and talk about it, it feels like I'm like temporarily making things worse, but at the same time and talking about it, I think is like the only solution.

Grandma Susan: When we internalize or hold these feelings, they can have profound effects on our health.

Talking is very, very valuable.

Bridget: I'm curious if you have any advice on how to work through something that like, you know, when you talk about it, it's like all of these emotions and stuff, you know?

Grandma Susan: We write our narrative, right?

We create in our minds a story.

And sometimes that story can be constructive and sometimes it can be very destructive.

Art is a wonderful vehicle to express some of the feelings we have.

You could make a visual poster about how you see yourself with happiness.

Bridget: Absolutely.

When I'm trying to reach happiness and it's clouded by this, like, you know, fog of anxiety, seeing myself happy and putting that on paper as well, it would be helpful.

And so yeah, that that definitely makes sense and that like reminds me of like who has control in my life, you know.

And I think that that's so, so powerful to give myself back that, like, power of what happens next, you know?

Grandma Susan: Resilience is such a primal important part of being a human being, right?

Bridget: Yeah, absolutely.

You worded that perfectly.

Grandma Susan: Well, Bridget, it was a pleasure to meet you.

I wish you the best of luck.

Bridget: Thank you, you too.

Grandma Susan: And I hope you have a lovely, wonderful time in New York.

Bridget: Thank you.

I appreciate it so much.

Mike Matthews: In 2012, I had a co-worker who had a really hard breakup, and I said, "I know this sounds crazy, but my grandmother lived in the Seattle area.

She feels a little isolated, but she had a lot of love to give.

Just call her and say, 'I'm a friend of Mike's.'"

She said, "Mike, that's the weirdest thing that anyone's ever said to me."

Monday morning rolled around, the co-worker said, "I called your grandmother and I feel lifted."

And so the thought just came that I could literally take, like, a lemonade stand, put it on a street corner, and just let her meet random people.

And so that was kind of the genesis of how everything got going.

She passed away at 102 years old.

I thought, "We need the Grandma Stand," so painted it purple, her very favorite color, put a picture of her up there so we always have her kind of present with us, and then now it's been a rotation of different grandmothers that kind of man the station, if you will.

Marvin: How you doing?

Grandma Dana: Grandma Dana.

Marvin: Hi, Grandma Dana.

Grandma Dana: What are you here to talk about?

Marvin: I stopped by to talk about these very intriguing questions.

Who's someone you wish was still around?

I was gonna say my mother, of course.

Just because there's so much I ain't get to say, you know, because we both was young.

Life is life, you know, but I was a child and she didn't get to see what she made, you know?

But she did everything that mamas were supposed to do.

She taught me how to respect.

She taught me all the little basic stuff.

Grandma Dana: Well, that's a tribute to her.

Marvin: Yeah, yeah, a big one, yep.

Grandma Dana: What is something-- Could you just say one thing that you would like to tell your mom?

Marvin: I would definitely say thank you, thank you.

Grandma Dana: Oh, I love that you wanted to say thank you to your mama.

Marvin: Yes.

Grandma Dana: How are we feeling, Marvin?

Marvin: I feel better than I did when I walked here, you know?

Grandma Dana: Oh, good.

Well, Grandma Stand is around.

Marvin: Grandma Stand gonna get followed then 'cause, I mean, I got some--I got--I wanna talk.

Grandma Dana: Do you mind if I give you a hug?

We're good?

I love to hug you-- Marvin: Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

Marvin: I honestly don't talk to nobody, but if I'm gonna talk to somebody, it's gonna be a stranger.

The things that I told her today, I probably ain't tell nobody in years.

That was a excellent talk, yep.

Mike: When I started this, the hardest thing was finding grandmas like my grandma Eileen.

People would stop by the stand or social media and say, "My grandmother would be perfect for this."

Grandma Flo: My granddaughter volunteered my name and she said, "Would you do it?"

And I said, "Of course I'll do it."

Mike: The number one thing that I'm looking for are grandmothers that are good at asking questions and just really focusing on you.

None of the grandmas are therapists.

They're not there to solve your issues or problems or fix anything.

There's a certain disarming nature about grandmothers that allows the person themselves to open up more.

Mursal: I really like talking to her because I feel a lot of empathy from her and I felt so comfortable.

Jenny: I actually have a little problem maintaining boundaries, and I would love to get your advice for it.

Grandma Jennifer: Talk to me.

Jenny: I don't have a problem saying that "Hey, this is what I'm not okay with and this is what I'm okay with," but people love to try me, so how do I continue to be set with my boundaries?

Grandma Jennifer: You have to learn to speak up.

I turned 77 two days ago.

I talk to myself sometimes in the third person.

"This is what I am going to do today.

I am not going to have people walk over me."

You really have to do it and stick with it.

What is keeping you from doing it?

Jenny: I don't want to upset people.

Grandma Jennifer: Yeah, but they don't mind upsetting you.

Or they don't mind-- Yeah, no, no, no.

Jenny: That's--wow.

Grandma Jennifer: Wow, that is correct, and people think about that, "Let me see how far I could push her."

People do that.

You can't let them get away with it.

You state your case, and goodbye.

You cannot go through life having people push you around.

Jenny: So what can I say?

Grandma Jennifer: You have to say, "No, you are overstepping my boundaries."

People do what you allow them to do.

How old are you?

Jenny: Twenty-one.

Grandma Jennifer: I came to the United States at 21 from Trinidad.

I have been here for 55 years and I have gone through some stuff, but I am strong today and I don't let anybody take advantage of me.

Jenny: It's like I needed to get hit with that.

Thank you.

Grandma Jennifer: Yes, okay, very good.

Jenny: So just stay clear to my boundary.

Grandma Jennifer: And stick with it.

Jenny: Thank you.

Grandma Jennifer: You're welcome.

I hope you have a great life.

Patty: You know, Grandma, there's not enough hours in the day.

Like I feel like I'm always at work, with the kids, then I have to do stuff for my mom, then my friends wanna hang out and everybody always wants a piece of me and I just never have time.

And then when I fit time for me, somebody's upset.

How do you handle that without like, and going, say, mental?

Grandma Dana: Well, you have a lot on your plate.

I think what you're doing today, it looks like you're taking a tiny little minute for yourself?

Patty: Mm-mm, it feels good.

You know, what happened was I was supposed to take my wisdom teeth out, but then I went and they said that I didn't have to.

I feel like this is cheating, like I'm sneaking, like I'm cutting class.

Grandma Dana: Maybe think about instead of cheating, it's more like if I take care of myself, I can really take care of the other people.

Make space for yourself.

Patty: How do you make space?

Like, how do you make it?

Grandma Dana: Well, you know how you made that appointment for the dentist?

On your calendar, put "Patty G."

Patty: It sounds so simple, but-- Grandma Dana: It sounds simple.

Believe me, I understand.

I was a single mom, but if you can do that, you're going to benefit.

Everybody's going to benefit.

Patty: That's beautiful.

Grandma Dana: If they say, "What does this mean, 'Patty G'?"

"I have an appointment."

That's all you say.

Patty: That's it, 2 o'clock.

Grandma Dana: I have an appointment at 2 o'clock.

Patty: Oh, I like that.

That makes me feel better.

Grandma Dana: You got a lot going on and you're doing a bang up job.

You are doing it.

Patty: Yeah, I'm killing it because I'm still getting those little moments.

Grandma Dana: You are.

Patty: It was like a little therapy session.

I do have people I talk to, but sometimes talking to a stranger takes the fear of judgment away.

I got to say what I wanted to say.

I got somebody to tell me I'm not crazy and tell me I'm doing a good job, so that's all I needed.

Dev: My wife had a dog for 14 years.

Two days ago we put him down.

It made me think about grief in my life.

Some of my loved ones have passed away.

I know in the next couple of years a lot of people who are older that I care about are gonna pass away.

How should I--what would help me deal with grief, I guess?

Grandma Susan: Well, you've already mentioned that you have dealt with grief and so how did you deal with grief?

Dev: I'm very much a guy.

Me and my wife have been together for 11 years.

She's never seen me cry until our dog died, and I didn't wanna break down with it, but I couldn't help it and broke down.

She's like, "Oh wow, you cried."

I was like, "Yeah, I love that dog.

It was a good dog," you know.

It's hard for me to cry.

It's hard for me to let it out because I've been taught to bury it.

Grandma Susan: Because?

Dev: I was raised by two folks who survived a genocide.

Grandma Susan: Can I ask you where your parents were from?

Dev: Cambodia.

Grandma Susan: So there's a long history of real sadness.

And that was never addressed, really, right?

It's like people who come out of the Holocaust, whose parents become very protective, and there's a lot of unspoken messages that children who come out of a past like that get from their parents, right?

So what would you say some of the unspoken messages were that kind of created this feeling that you can't express sadness?

Dev: My parents have told me such horrible stories about what they went through.

And that it's never that bad because we've seen it like totally super-bad so whatever you're going through, you can just either just work through it or just stuff it away.

Grandma Susan: You're saying, "My parents told me, 'Get over it,'" essentially.

It's not healthy because now whatever you're feeling gets pushed down and buried, but at some point it starts coming back up, right?

There is nothing wrong with grieving, and we all grieve differently, okay?

I will tell you I lost a child and that the way I grieved over my child was very different than my husband did.

So the fact that you say you can't cry, I don't think you can't.

I think you're afraid to because I think it would show a vulnerability that you're not allowed to show and a weakness.

[whispering] Dev: It's a secret, Grandma.

Grandma Susan: Yeah.

Dev: Yeah, you're right, you're right.

Thank you so much, Grandma.

Mike: Everyone has a story and they could be dressed in the fanciest clothes or they're a college student.

We all feel the same, we're all human.

Grandma Dana: We get all walks of life at the Grandma Stand.

And it's surprising that people are so vulnerable.

They want to share, they wanna hug.

And sometimes they don't want to let go of that hug.

Harry: I'm 73, I'm retired, and I see a world that's with different values that I grew up with, and it bothers me, especially the idea of happiness.

I see young people who think happiness is less work, is just doing what they wanna do, and I grew up with happiness is that you live a good life and then the happiness comes from living a good life.

Is that crazy or not?

Grandma Kathy: It's not crazy at all.

Because we're of the same generation, you know, we all make the same observations, I think.

But you know, there's that Serenity Prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

The only thing that we're in control of is ourselves.

So what do you do to make yourself happy?

Harry: I have a granddaughter, so when I babysit for her, that makes me happy, when I do things with my children.

I'm a retired lawyer.

I try to mentor people here and there, but I feel that, in retirement, I have a little too much time on my hands now and that diminishes my happiness.

Grandma Kathy: Somebody once said to me, "If you want to be happy, do something for someone else."

Harry: I like that.

Grandma Kathy: When you're helping with your granddaughter.

Harry: Oh, I love her to pieces, yes.

Grandma Kathy: Your whole face changes.

It makes you happy, and I think in your retirement, maybe there's more time to do more of these things that make you happy, which will then give you less time to look at what other people are not doing.

Look at where your time brought you today.

Enjoying the day in Central Park, getting to talk to somebody.

Harry: I'm enjoying this discussion.

Grandma Kathy: I'm really glad that you took this walk today, Harry.

Harry: Thank you, Kathy.

Grandma Kathy: Thank you so much.

Harry: Thank you.

Grandma Jennifer: How old are you, Owen?

Owen: I'm ten.

Grandma Jennifer: What do you want to really talk about?

Owen: It's a problem about recess.

So, I love to be rough.

Grandma Jennifer: When you go outside, you like to play rough?

Owen: Yes, yes, yes, we love to play tag.

One day they're like, "No more tag."

Grandma Jennifer: Who said that?

Owen: The gym teachers.

Ever since then we've tried to keep playing, but it's just it-- they never stop saying no because their concern is that-- Grandma Jennifer: Somebody get hurt.

Owen: Yeah, someone get hurt.

So there's this guy who comes and he talks to the parents and he's like, kids should be able to take risks, but none of the teachers listen.

While he's there they're like, "Yeah, I agree," but then after that it's just back to the same old rules.

So I said, "I'm going to talk to the principal about this."

I'm going to the principal's office.

My principal is like, "I so agree with you, Owen, but I'm going to talk to the PE teachers."

And then the PE teacher was like, "No."

So I didn't get tag back and I'm annoyed at this point because the guy who came to the school said we should be able to get bruises and scratches, but apparently the school doesn't think so.

Grandma Jennifer: Well, you don't really want to get hurt and bruises.

Why--do you want to, like, write a letter?

I mean, the politicians, when they're running for office, they have everybody sign and say yes-- Owen: Yeah, that's a good idea.

Maybe I should do that.

That's a good idea.

Grandma Jennifer: You know, you remember when-- Owen: I could--that's actually a really good idea.

Grandma Jennifer: I am glad I'm able to do something.

Owen: Thank you.

Grandma Jennifer: Okay.

Owen: Thank you.

Grandma Jennifer: Deal.

Owen: Thank you so much.

Grandma Jennifer: Okay.

Inger: I am trying to not focus on past failure.

How do you move on from something big or small?

Inger: I could get hung up on failure of something that happened in 8th grade when I tried out for the choir solo or failures in my career.

Grandma Dana: How are you trying to tackle that?

Inger: I don't know.

I try to see the positive things, but then a lot of times I just think, "Oh, I could have done this better.

I could have done that better."

Grandma Dana: I hear this a lot, like, how do I live in the present, not in the past?

And you have to think about what is the energy that I'm actually expending on something that I'm not gonna change?

Does that make sense?

Inger: Yeah, it does.

Grandma Dana: That energy maybe could be spent in a much wiser way.

Keep the past in the past.

Inger: That does make sense.

I've never thought of it that way, so thank you so much.

Grandma Dana: You are so welcome.

Inger: Thank you.

Milena Batanova: I think the Grandma Stand really resonates with people because at a time when many might feel like it's not the norm to yearn for connection, most people yearn for meaning and wisdom.

We conducted a national study with adults and we found that 21% of Americans reported feeling lonely and for 18 to 29 year olds, it's almost 30%.

Grandma Dana: The lack of connection, I think, is epidemic.

That's what drives the Grandma Stand, to be able to connect.

Sophie: So a year ago I told my best friend at the time that I had feelings for her and it ruined the relationship and then 8 months after that another friend in my life, same conversation, didn't work out.

I know that I need to have hope in order to find someone, but at the same time having hope is painful.

And so I'm not sure how to like go forward and be open to the idea of love.

Grandma Kathy: What I've learned is the less I looked, the more it came.

It's scary to feel vulnerable.

And yet, that's exactly what we need to be in order to let love in.

Sophie: But do you ever fear that you're not going to find it?

Grandma Kathy: Oh, yes.

And it wasn't until I was 44 that it happened.

I wasn't looking.

I didn't want it.

And somebody closer to your age, my daughter, she said, "That's it.

I am done with relationships.

I'm never living with anyone ever again."

And she knew this person from work, and they did things together.

It took 3 months, they're now living together.

Sometimes we're so intended that we look at each person, "Oh, is this the one?"

That can be a little frightening.

You're a beautiful young woman.

The love, it will find its way.

It'll come.

Sophie: It'll come?

Grandma Kathy: It will come when the time is right, but it'll be there.

Matteo: I tend to form friendships and relationships that just don't go so well.

I don't know if I have any relationships with people I need to fix, so much as like with myself that I need to work on before everything else gets fixed.

Grandma Flo: I like what you said, it's really interesting.

I never thought about it that way, that we have to fix ourselves first.

See, I learned something from you.

Matteo: The other thing I feel like I'm interested to hear your thoughts on something that like myself and people my age really feel is, like, the best is behind them.

That is like kind of a feeling that catches up with people the second you begin "young adulting."

And it's crazy to be like 18, 19 and say like-- Grandma Flo: And feel that way.

Matteo: That the best is already behind me.

Grandma Flo: It should be ahead of you.

Matteo: Yes, I don't know.

What would you say about that feeling?

Grandma Flo: You know, I think it also has to do with the times that we're living in.

When I was growing up, things were so much different.

People were so much different.

Matteo: Like, it's very hard.

Everyone's very disconnected.

Community too is a big part of that, which is really lacking.

Grandma Flo: When I was a teenager, people look out for each other.

They give you a snack until your parents come home and--but that doesn't happen, you know, in our times.

So we need to get back to that.

Matteo: I think that's really what's missing.

Efe: I've never wanted to like be in a relationship for the sake of duty and responsibility.

How do you know when is a good time to like just take a step back or, you know what, let me dial in more?

Grandma Flo: When your happiness is not there.

Because in a relationship, both partners should be happy.

Efe: I don't think us as men sometimes even recognize what's happiness for us.

Grandma Flo: It is hard.

This is something that we have to talk about with people that you're close to, your friends, you know, the young men that are your friends.

What would you like out of a relationship?

What is a relationship supposed to be like?

Efe: I don't even think I've even had, like, those conversations.

Grandma Flo: We don't, we don't.

Everybody just keep it bottled up and-- Efe: Yeah, you ask, "Hey, how's it going?"

"Yeah, everything's cool."

Grandma Flo: Right, we need to sit down and express our feelings with each other, you know?

Efe: Everyone is in their own bubble right now.

Grandma Flo: Yeah, you know, I'm good, you're good, but we're suffering on the inside.

Efe: I think what I'm getting from this is just me having--be more intentional with having those type of conversations.

But thank you so much for this.

I really needed that today.

Thank you so much.

Grandma Flo: You're quite welcome.

Milena: Lately we've been doing a lot of research around mental health and loneliness.

People who are lonelier also tend to have more depressive symptoms, tend to have anxiety.

When we feel disconnected, we start telling ourselves stories that might not be true that only fuel our fears.

That's why it's so important to have our own story heard and maybe to have it be corrected or challenged.

Maya: I guess I wanted to just talk to somebody about what I'm working on, and that's my mental health.

So, I deal with a lot of anxiety and depression so I kinda push myself to do things that will give me anxiety like social anxiety and general anxiety as well, like, just sometimes out of nowhere I just feel really anxious.

But I'm getting better at it.

Like, a year ago I probably wouldn't be able to do this.

Grandma Dana: Look at you, stopping to talk to a total stranger.

Maya: I do therapy.

Grandma Dana: Oh, good, you go to therapy.

Maya: And I do go to school for psychology.

Not only physical health is a problem, mental health is really important as well, and I never want anyone to feel the way I feel.

Grandma Dana: Well, I think you are really going to conquer what you are going through as you delve deeper.

Maya: Thank you.

Grandma Dana: You can cry.

It's okay.

Maya: It's happy tears too.

Grandma Dana: Oh good.

It's a tough subject.

Almost every young woman that sits in this chair across from me is battling anxiety.

It seems to be an epidemic, and the fact that you are tackling that gives me so much hope, and we need you.

We need your gifts that you're working to give our world.

I'm so proud of you.

Maya: I haven't heard that in a very long time.

Grandma Dana: I'm so proud of you.

You sat down with a stranger.

You have a big smile on your face.

You're going and getting some therapy.

You're going to school.

You're gonna help change the world.

You're a very big blessing.

Can I give you a big hug?

Oh my goodness.

Maya: Thank you, Grandma.

Michael: My nana passed away about 3 years ago, and she was my favorite person, so it's nice to speak to a grandma today.

Grandma Susan: I'm here for you.

Tell me about something that you're struggling with now.

Michael: I struggle with bipolar disorder.

I have manic episodes and deeply depressive episodes, the symptoms of which have caused a lot of family disturbance.

The issue is seen as something that's a character flaw rather than a symptom of a disorder and I feel often judged.

Most recently at Easter, my sister did not want to welcome me home, and I was just thinking the whole time, what would my nana have said about this?

Grandma Susan: What would your nana have said?

Michael: She would have said, "Of course he's welcome."

It would've been a non-issue.

Grandma Susan: I think with any kind of psychological diagnosis, people don't understand really the depths and the meaning of it.

Part of our problem in society is just educating people as to what bipolar is or any disorder.

Tell me about something recently that created some anxiety or angst in your life.

Michael: I sent my dad a message about needing financial support.

I said, "Hi dad, I just wanted to let you know I was deeply hurt by your comment about my intelligence in the presence of my doctor.

I am complex and do excellent things when I'm supported and encouraged, and your support would mean the world to me.

I am happy to report that these medications are the best ones yet.

I love you, Dad.

Please do not let me down."

And he didn't even respond at all.

Grandma Susan: Do you think maybe your dad does not know how to answer you?

When you have such a deep, powerful feeling about something, I think a lot gets misconstrued with texting.

My advice on that one, maybe want to follow it up with a handwritten letter to your dad.

What do you think of that?

Michael: I think I would want to offer it to him in person so that I can really actually see how he receives it, and so that he can see how I'm really doing.

Grandma Susan: And handing somebody a letter shows that you've gone that extra mile and also being present allows for discussion.

If the people involved can be civil.

Michael: Oh, I can.

Grandma Susan: Listening is hard.

We get defensive, very hard to sit back and just consider what the other person is thinking and feeling about our actions.

Very hard, and I think maybe your nana was good at that.

Michael: Very.

Grandma Susan: Michael, it was a pleasure to meet you.

Michael: Thank you so much.

Grandma Susan: I hope you find your way.

I hope you're able to hand your father that letter.

I hope he's-- Michael: Can I shake your hand?

Grandma Susan: Of course, of course, it was nice to meet you.

Michael: Thank you.

Thank you.

Grandma Susan: You're welcome.

Divine G.: I grew up in a rough neighborhood.

I went to high school performing arts.

I was on the right track.

Eventually, I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life, snuck out to try to sell some drugs to help my family, wind up going to prison.

I just recently was nominated for an adapted Screenplay Award for the Oscars for the movie "Sing Sing."

I'm the main subject of the movie.

You know, I had a friend who felt intimidated like he didn't know how to talk to me, he was kind of like moving away from me.

It seems like he's just--he just changed.

How would you address that?

Grandma Kathy: In my experience, change is hard for everybody, good change and bad change, and I think your instinct is right about it being intimidating and they might not feel worthy.

I would just reach out to them and see where it goes.

You can't control other people's behaviors, but you can open the door and you're there waiting when they're ready.

Divine G.: You know what?

You're in my head.

Giving them space, letting them know, hey, I'm there for you.

It's still all good.

I'm still gonna be the same old Divine G. Divine G.: I'm one of the founding members of a rehabilitation program in prison.

We gave individuals permission to express whatever was on their mind we were putting out.

You know guards now opening up and sharing with each other.

We saw how it was just transforming people.

We are human beings that we need interaction, we need that human connection.

That is why Grandma Stand, it just blew me away.

Just a little hug, a little love, a little talking.

She's speaking actually to my soul and my essence.

Milena: When people allow themselves to sit and share with others, ultimately that's what we want of our communities.

Feeling connected or heard is absolutely essential.

We thrive if we are emotionally connected.

Research has shown that brief but genuine interactions can really make a huge difference for people and have lasting effects.

Myrna: When you say what is your biggest concern of the day, I just wanna make sure I get up in the morning.

At my age that's a biggie.

Grandma Flo: You're absolutely right.

Myrna: You know, and I always think like, "Okay, I'm awake, so we'll move on from there."

Had a lot of recently life changes.

I've lost my husband and so finding the new normal has been tricky, you know, when you lose your life partner after 52 years, sometimes it's like I get scared because I'm alone a lot.

I don't have children.

Some people say it's the new normal.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

So many of my friends are in the same situation, but it seems like their normal isn't what I want for my normal.

And then there are times when you're the one out, you know, like they're all with the--with their husbands or whatever, and it's like, ugh, I don't like this anymore.

I don't like this new normal at all.

Grandma Flo: I have relatives that are going through the same thing.

They're afraid that if something happened to them, you know, they're by themselves and I said, you know, we can't always think about the bad that's gonna happen.

Think that, you know, I'm gonna make it.

I'm gonna wake up the next day and, you know, I'm gonna go and have-- Myrna: Yeah, I've always been kind of an up person and I think that's what kind of bothers me now because it's harder for me to always be up now because I wake up and think, "Well, what have you got to be happy about today?"

Grandma Flo: But we have life and that's what we have to be thankful for.

If you're lonely, maybe meet with a friend and have lunch or, you know.

Myrna: I do do a lot of that.

I run around the house talking to maybe Ron who's not around anymore.

I talk to my dog all the time, and he's very smart, but he hasn't got too many great answers.

But I guess it's just nice to share with you.

Thank you for being my grandma today.

Grandma Flo: You're quite welcome.

You're quite welcome.

Emry Ride: My name is Emry Ride.

I'm a professional dancer, part of the Rockettes, so-- Grandma Diane: Wow, amazing.

That's one of the highlights of the city of New York.

I know there's a lot of training and it must be exhausting.

Emry: Yes, it's so exhausting.

Grandma Diane: I guess in January sometime you have time off?

Emry: Then I'm doing nothing and I feel like I should be doing something and I'm trying to learn that it's okay sometimes not to be constantly going, but like how do you deal with those moments?

Grandma Diane: After this holiday season, I'm sure you have to physically, mentally recover from that.

Emry: Absolutely.

It takes me about a month to, like, kind of come back to a normal person, let my body recover.

Grandma Diane: What are you doing in that time?

Emry: I try to take dance classes, but sometimes it's hard to find that motivation.

Grandma Diane: Sometimes you have to have downtime because your work is very creative, so I would relish time off.

You might not have that time off in the future.

When I had my children, I had more free time, but I was feeling like, "Oh, when am I going to get back to work?"

And when I look back, those were the best times of my life, so just relax about that.

Emry: That makes sense.

I think it's just hard to just like relish in the moment and be okay with that.

Grandma Diane: Are there any areas that you'd like to expand upon in your life?

Emry: I am not a very social person.

I need to like find ways to create community.

It's just kind of always been hard for me to do.

Grandma Diane: What about book clubs?

I mean, that might be something that's social without being extroverted.

Emry: Yeah, I love reading, so yeah.

Grandma Diane: What sports do you like?

Emry: The funny thing is that I was not allowed to do any other sports because it was too risky and I would literally have to sign a contract when I was younger, but I just started running.

Grandma Diane: That's excellent.

Well, I think you should enjoy your time off, explore the city as much as possible.

Emry: Yeah, and I liked what you said: I need to be not creative for a time.

And I think a lot of my guilt comes from I have to constantly be creating.

Grandma Diane: Right, wonderful.

I'm proud to meet you.

Emry: Yeah, it was so nice to meet you too.

Emry: The grandma really helped me feel like I'm doing okay in my life, and it's so much easier to talk to a stranger.

The Grandma Stand just brings happiness.

You can, for just 10 minutes, find a friend.

Grandma Jennifer: So what do you want to talk about?

Roman: I think the relationship with parents in countries like Azerbaijan, we are quite separated in terms of emotions with our families.

We don't share a lot of emotional stuff with them.

We don't share a lot of decisions that we take, and they don't even share about the decisions that they are taking, even about us.

It's really hard to see from their perspective how they see the world.

I think parenting doesn't have to be understood as a process of feeding a child or just giving them money, we never had a proper conversation.

I mean, we have zero communication on how, so actually the question here, do I actually need to fix or let it go, because like everything that I've done in my life was just on me.

I am studying outside of the country.

I never had their support.

Do I need their support?

Do I need this relationship actually?

But there's a feeling of, you know, insecurity that like can I do without them?

Grandma Jennifer: I think for now you really need to put them on the spot.

Tell them, "I'm coming back and we need to have a talk.

I have something that I have to get off my chest."

I would tell them, "I want to have a great relationship with you guys," wake them up.

Yeah, really.

They love you but they don't feel you.

You know, it's a different world.

I know it's a different world, but you want them and you need them.

I could tell that you need them.

You want to keep trying a little bit.

If you talk, at least you get it out of you.

And at least I try, but don't think about, you know, if I could do without, we could do without each other, so tell them.

Roman: Good advice.

Thank you so much.

Grandma Jennifer: Yeah, you're welcome.

Roman: That was really nice because my grandma died, so I didn't have anyone else to talk and, yeah, have this conversation with.

Mike: In particular in metropolitan cities, I found that most people are away from their grandparents and aunt and uncle and babies and family.

For the most part, around a lot of their same demographic, so sometimes it's not even the discussion they have, it's just literally to be around a grandmother of a certain era.

For them, that's all they needed for that day.

Sheree: I saw the question and it was the "Who's someone that you wish was still around?"

And immediately I was like, "My grandma."

She passed away and I really miss her.

I think I just remember the way in which she loved everyone, but I grew up in Kenya, so we lived, like, far apart.

There's moments where I'm like, "Oh, I wish she was here.

I wish I could talk to her."

Grandma Dana: Did you get to see her before she passed away?

Sheree: I did.

At that point she really wasn't well, so she wasn't like fully there.

It gets me, like, emotional.

Grandma Dana: That's okay.

You know what?

I have a tissue.

It wasn't even that long ago that she passed.

Sheree: I just, like, strive to embody like the different qualities and traits that she had.

Grandma Dana: She was a very powerful influence.

I wish every single young person had that.

I would like to give you a hug if you don't mind.

Sheree: I would love a hug.

Thank you.

Grandma Dana: You are very precious.

Carolina: "Who doesn't know how much they've impacted your life?"

I would say my dad.

Growing up when you're like a teenager, it's very easy to find your parents like annoying and they definitely like were hard on me growing up, but I feel like I can do a lot of the things I can do today because of him.

Like, I just moved to New York 8 months ago and I always knew I could do it because I was just like him.

I'm like on the verge of tears talking about him sometimes.

Thank you so much.

I know I can call him if I'm ever in trouble for anything, but I think he doesn't know how much he's impacted my life.

Grandma Dana: Will you call him tonight?

Carolina: I will.

Steve: I'm extremely excited to enter a new chapter.

My wife, we just got married and we're looking forward to having children.

Grandma Kathy: Congratulations.

Steve: Yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm surprised by almost an inability to stop worrying.

How do you stop that?

I'll worry about society.

I'll worry about all this stuff that I cannot control.

Meanwhile, I have a very loving wife who's hoping for my presence.

Grandma Kathy: An exercise that I've practiced, how much time in my day do I want to give to something?

Now there are times when a real-life giant issue comes up and it will take your whole day.

But what I try to do with other things that I tend to ruminate about, I make an appointment with myself, so I have a designated time in my day.

Any thoughts that come up, I'll just automatically say, "Oh, I can write that down tomorrow," and then somehow it dissipates, it goes away because otherwise what tends to happen is it pierces through your day.

And does that help?

Steve: Oh, tremendously because I feel so guilty if I'm not dealing with the issue, so I give the space for it at any moment in time.

But then it's a gorgeous day today and I can lose this day.

Immediately when you said it, I realized I will still be productive, I will still do it.

I'm just designating a time for it.

Thank you, I can't believe how quick that helpful advice was, yeah.

Grandma Kathy: I'm so glad.

It's just a lesson that I've learned in my life.

Steve: Amazing.

Grandma Flo: What surprises me about the Grandma Stand is how worried a lot of young people are.

Nicole: I'm just trying to figure out who I am, making sure I'm doing all the right things now to get me to where I want to be.

Christopher: I wanted to try to explore what I could do in my future.

Grandma Flo: Young people seem to be alone and they need connections.

Milena: In our own research we find that young people in particular are reporting that they have little to no sense of meaning or purpose.

Intergenerational storytelling and talking like this can really help young people feel grounded and have a greater sense of meaning and connection to something larger than themselves.

Charlie: I'm graduating in June and now I'm worried about being like a real adult.

I have a job lined up, but like I'm worried about how I'm gonna turn that into something a lot better.

Grandma Flo: Take it step by step and try to work your way up.

That takes a little time.

Charlie: The idea that like you have to commit to like one pathway for the rest of your life is just kind of-- Grandma Flo: Not necessarily.

Charlie: Really?

Grandma Flo: You see that it's not working out, make plans to see what you can do differently.

Most important thing is to do something that you love.

Charlie: Everyone says that and then like, you know, you try to do what you love and then it like doesn't work out or like it doesn't make money, just like living decently is like a huge concern for me because like everything is so expensive.

My mom's always trying to convince me to save for a house and I can't even picture that right now.

I'm just like I'm trying to save for rent.

I'm trying to save for like groceries.

Grandma Flo: Take it one day at a time.

I remember a time when I only could eat oatmeal because that's all I had.

We all have these times that we have to go through, you know, but you just have to persevere and do your best.

Charlie: You think things will work out how they're supposed to work out?

Grandma Flo: I think it will.

You just have to keep that positive attitude that things are gonna get better.

Always tell yourself that.

Charlie: Yeah, it's a hard attitude to keep.

Grandma Flo: It is, but you know you gotta psych yourself up.

Charlie: Not to sound dramatic, I think about this probably 95% of the time.

Thank you so much.

It's great to meet you.

Charlie: It's nice to talk to someone who like can take your crazy and channel it just into like a positive outlook.

Lauren: I'm the age now that my mom was when she got engaged, and I just feel kind of behind compared to previous generations.

Grandma Diane: I wouldn't concern yourself with a timeframe.

Things happen when they're supposed to, really.

Lauren: I'm an actor.

I've been taking some time for things to take off, and it's nice to hear from people who have more life experience that it's fine if you're kind of chilling and-- Grandma Diane: It doesn't sound like you're chilling.

It sounds like you're--in a good way.

You seem like you have goals.

You're very, very young.

You have a long way to go.

You should try to enjoy the whole experience.

My 20s were not fun, honestly.

And looking back, I realize I should have had much more patience with myself.

Your career goals are challenging, I would imagine.

Lauren: Yeah, it's a lot of rejection.

I had a final callback on Friday, and I would have gotten the call yesterday if I was in it, and so--but I feel like other doors are going to open.

Grandma Diane: Right, and also you got really close.

That's wonderful.

Lauren: Yeah, I put a lot of pressure on myself.

I'm a waitress right now and I like my job.

It's just not the thing I'm super-passionate about.

Grandma Diane: I waitressed for 12 years.

Waitressing helped me open up my mind.

I knew that wasn't going to be my career, but at least I wasn't deciding on any specific, you know, path.

Lauren: I heard a quote that it's better to be at the bottom of a ladder that you do want to climb than halfway up a ladder that you don't.

Waitressing has given me flexibility in auditioning.

Grandma Diane: Good, perfect.

Lauren: Which is really what I need right now.

Grandma Diane: You sound like you're doing great.

Lauren: Sometimes it's just nice to hear that from, you know, like somebody who's not your parent, somebody who's supposed to tell you that.

Grandma Diane: And I hope you're kind to yourself and proud of yourself.

I have a great feeling for where you're going.

Lauren: Thank you.

Jared: I'm a senior in high school and in around 4 months I'm gonna--I'm going to college and I guess one thing I'm concerned about right now is just the transition period.

I rely on my mom for everything.

She cooks for us and she folds my clothes and just like basically all the little things that like you don't really think about.

I'm just concerned I'm not prepared to, you know, have that sense of autonomy, and then also like being with new people because, like, no one from my school is going to the college that I'm going to.

It's a little scary.

Grandma Susan: The feelings you're expressing are totally normal.

Everybody else is thinking the same thing and they're coming in with the same nervousness, anxiety, stress.

I wonder if you could be the icebreaker, maybe introduce yourself to people who are in your class.

Jared: I think that's definitely a good idea.

It's just I'm never been put in that position to be that person to be like, oh, like my name is Jared.

I never thought about that everybody else is feeling the same way.

That's a pretty cool way of thinking about it.

Grandma Susan: Yeah, because in truth, as a teen too, when you think everybody's staring at you, people are thinking about themselves, Jared, I'm gonna tell you that right now.

Nobody's thinking about you.

Everybody's thinking about themselves as you're thinking about yourself.

Our basic human need is to fit in and feel that we belong.

Jared: Yeah, so I guess I'd be the one to invite people to go to a place to eat or just, you know, get coffee.

I guess it might be easier because everybody's wanting to make friends.

Yeah, I think that's honestly good advice.

Grandma Susan: It's nice to meet you, Jared.

Jared: Thank you so much.

Grandma Susan: It's a pleasure meeting you.

Jared: Yeah likewise, thank you.

Grandma Dana: I just retired and my son and his family live kind of far away.

I was opening myself up to something to give me a little more meaning.

And the Grandma Stand, and it's life changing for me.

Grandma Diane: I was struck by the whole concept of helping people.

It fulfills me.

Grandma Dana: I feel hopeful for the future.

I feel like I have a purpose in life.

I miss it when I'm not in the Grandma Stand.

Mike: One thing that I love is the grandmothers, they are so excited to come back and do this again.

That motivates me to kind of expand this to other cities to have these discussions.

Preena: I'm scared of getting older.

Like, I turned 18.

To me, like life is all about meaning and purpose, but sometimes I look at like my parents, right?

And they seem very tired.

It feels like their life is almost shifted, like the meaning has shifted.

And I can't like help but be scared of that.

Grandma Dana: Well, I'm 71.

And this is the best part of my life.

Like, it gets better and better.

Don't worry about that.

Enjoy because that's where you will regret.

Like, why did I waste my time worrying about that, you know?

You might go through some twists and turns and ups and downs, but it's gonna be really, really good.

Preena: Does it really go by fast?

Grandma Dana: Yeah, and you're gonna love it.

It's so nice to meet you.

I'm so happy to see you guys coming up and inheriting this world.

Do wonderful things.

Suzanne B. O'Brien: Things that concern me is that we've pretty much discarded the value of our aging population.

Have we possibly removed the greatest teacher about how to live with the wisdom of our elderly?

Grandma Susan: You know, it's interesting you ask me that question because elders are invisible in our society, they become seen as a burden to society.

And that's very sad.

Suzanne: Where did that come from?

Grandma Susan: Our cultural values.

I mean, gray hair, for instance.

At one time I didn't have gray hair and I was perceived much differently than I am now.

I know my age and I'm fine with it because it's the reality, but most people don't like their reality.

Suzanne: Are we missing what's truly important and do our elders hold the key to that wisdom?

I'm gonna say yes.

Grandma Dana: Age has given me wisdom that I could have never gotten any other way.

Grandma Flo: As you age, you go through so many different experiences.

Some of those problems that people have might be similar to some that you had.

Michael: Having that perspective of someone who's gone through this is actually kind of really inspiring.

I love that.

Grandma Kathy: Question of the day is, what is your biggest concern in life right now.

Jason: Right now, it's my mother's health.

She's going through some health issues.

She's in her 70s.

She's still living in Georgia.

New York is where I make my living, so being able to go back more to help her out.

Grandma Kathy: And do you have siblings?

Jason: I have two older sisters.

They go back and forth also, but I'm the baby boy and I'm a mama's boy.

Before my father passed, he said, "Always take care of your mom," and I took that to heart.

Grandma Kathy: It's very sweet.

Jason: Yeah, I do a lot of events, right?

So in between events as opposed to just chilling here in New York like this past weekend, it was only 2 days, but I flew down to see my mom and to hang out with my mom, come back because I had to get back to work.

Grandma Kathy: I'm hearing you say that it was only 2 days.

To make that effort to go for a whole 2 days, is actually really wonderful.

You're doing so much.

Try to look at this through your mother's eyes.

She's thrilled to see you for those 2 days, isn't she?

Jason: Yeah, she was.

Grandma Kathy: So who's the one saying that's not enough?

Jason: It's me.

Grandma Kathy: And how is that working for you?

Jason: Well, just beating myself up.

I'm always my worst critic, you know?

Grandma Kathy: It's not serving her for you to waste that time and energy beating yourself up when you can just put it to good.

I'm just trying to let you know how I would feel if my children neglected their path and they'll do for me when they can.

On the one hand, it's never enough, but on the other hand, it's always enough.

Jason: I really enjoyed the visit like, just to be able to just hug my mom.

Like, we went out to eat and just hung out on the patio and I was just holding my mom, you know.

Grandma Kathy: I'm sure that she was thrilled with your presence.

Sit with that and you should have no guilt about not doing more.

Your mom's very lucky to have you, Jason.

Jason: I'm lucky to have her.

Grandma Kathy: See, you're doing a wonderful job.

You're a good son.

Jason: Thank you.

Grandma Kathy: Jason, it's a pleasure chatting with you.

Jason: Thank you.

I receive everything you said.

Thank you so much.

Grandma Kathy: You're a good man.

Grandma's hand.

Grandma Kathy: I am so excited about being a grandma in Central Park, listening at a time when people need to be heard.

Boy, they really came in handy.

She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands."

Grandma's hands.

Grandma's hands.

Mmm-mmm-mmmm Owen: It's been a month now since Grandma Jennifer helped me and said, how about you write a letter and kind of get kids to sign it.

I wrote the letter and everybody I asked said yes.

When I gave the letter to the principal, I was kind of like scared 'cause it's like, it's either yes or no, and I'm like, "Oh, here it comes."

And then she's like, "Yes, I totally agree with this."

I was like, "Yeah," like inside I was like, dun dun dun dun dun, [claps hands] woo!

I feel very good because I definitely know that there's gonna be some change.

I did not know that that was gonna happen, so also I learned that like if you don't ask, then you don't get, right?

Like anything is possible from this.