To Dine For with Kate Sullivan

(Upbeat contemporary music) [Kate Sullivan] It is a brilliant day in New York City, and we are in for a special meal and conversation at a one of a kind restaurant.

[Reshma Saujani] I felt, I was supposed to be a warrior.

I felt it.

[Kate] Meet Reshma Saujani, who is on a mission to change the narrative when it comes to women and girls in the workplace.

[Reshma] I love to get people to quit their jobs.

(Kate laughs) It's like, I can, like, spot someone who's like, not living, right, their like, their truth.

[Kate] Their truth?

Yes.

Her work has attracted attention from around the world, and today she's taking me to her favorite restaurant to learn not just what she does, but why she does it.

[Reshma] We said, you want to be a changemaker?

You want to make the world a better place?

Learn how to code, and let's build something that will help you do that.

[Kate] And what keeps her up at night, and how her hard charging life has left her on a mission of a different kind.

[Reshma] I want to be that agitator and I feel comfortable in that role.

You know what I mean?

Because I am angry enough, I'm pissed enough, I love this country enough to make me want and demand more for moms and for women.

(Contemporary rock music) [Kate] What's better in life than a bottle of wine, great food, and an amazing conversation?

My name is Kate Sullivan and I am the host of " To Dine For ."

I'm a journalist, a foodie, a traveler, with an appetite for the stories of people who are hungry for more.

Dreamers, visionaries, artists.

Those who hustle hard in the direction they love.

I travel with them to their favorite restaurant to hear how they did it.

This show is a toast to them and their American dream.

To Dine For with Kate Sullivan is made possible by... [Announcer] There are people in your life who count on you for what matters most.

American National agents are close to home and committed to our communities.

They'll help you find the right coverage for you, your family, even your farm and business.

You can learn more at americannational.com.

Lavazza has worked towards perfecting the art of blending coffee for four generations, celebrating coffee in all its forms.

Lavazza Classico can be brewed however you take your coffee.

Lavazza.

Devoted to coffee since 1895.

[Kate] Hello everyone.

Today, I am on 5th Avenue in New York City on my way into a restaurant called "The Well Kitchen and Table," a total one stop shop for wellness.

But it's the woman who chose this as her favorite restaurant that I can't wait for you to meet.

A visionary and creator, her name is Reshma Saujani.

(Mid-tempo contemporary music) [Kate] Hi Reshma.

How are you?

[Reshma] Hi Kate.

[Kate] It's so nice to meet you.

[Reshma] So nice to meet you too.

Thank you for coming to my restaurant.

[Kate] This place is amazing.

[Reshma] It's beautiful.

[Kate] And this is your favorite spot?

[Reshma] This is my favorite spot, because we're going to eat good and not feel bad about it.

(Kate laughs) [Kate] There is definitely no feeling bad when you visit "The Well" New York.

A full service wellness center right in the middle of the noise and chaos of New York City.

This 13,000 square foot retreat is a one stop shop to cleanse, refresh, unwind, and just take care of yourself.

Everything from functional medicine to Chinese medicine, to energy medicine is here.

[Rebecca Parekh] We try to help folks make approaching wellness much more simple than it can sometimes feel.

[Kate] And how it all started is one of my favorite parts of the story.

One of the co-founders, Rebecca Parekh, was working in finance and was inspired by a spa she visited in Arizona.

Rebecca felt like busy New Yorkers, like herself, desperately needed a place to unwind.

So, it was 10 years later before you had the idea that you actually put the wheels in motion.

Why do you think it took you so long?

[Rebecca] A number of things, you know, I think, I had this seed of an idea, right?

And I sort of walked around the world for the next few months thinking, this would be really interesting and what if we did this?

And how great would it be, if this existed?

[Kate] In 2010, it was a conversation at a train station with Reshma Saujani that gave her the spark she needed to start.

[Rebecca] We are sitting in the train station, uh, in DC waiting for our ride back to New York, and she just kind of looked at me out of the blue and said, "When are you going to quit your job?"

And I kind of laughed, in true Reshma fashion, and I'm like, well, I said, "You know what, I have this idea.

I kind of want to build a wellness center, and here's why.

And I had this great experience one weekend and don't you think this would be great?"

And she watched me talk about it, and I think what she saw was the passion, the joy, the light, and she just looked at me and she goes, "That...that's what you're going to be doing with your life."

[Kate] Fast forward a year, Rebecca quit her finance job, and partnered with Sarrah Hallock and Kane Sarhan to start "The Well."

[Rebecca] I think, that when I reflect back now all these years later, the thinking about it but not doing it played a really big part of the story for me, because I was able to daydream and ideate, and walk around the world sort of dreaming what could be possible.

[Kate] Today, we're getting a taste of "The Well," literally, at their in-house restaurant "The Well Kitchen and Table."

The philosophy here is that food is medicine.

[Laura Allen] Both the story of visual first, we eat with our eyes, something that is really wholesome, nutritious, filling, without being over the top.

We want you leaving here feeling like, you know, you're ready for the day, not ready to take a nap.

[Kate] With a team of medical practitioners and health coaches helping to shape the menu, they're hoping to take the guesswork out of eating healthy.

[Rebecca] The ripple effect.

It's like, if you can sort of crack the door open for just one person and that, you know, inspires them to go on their own journey and find their own way, and that has an impact on their life, like that's how the change happens, right?

[Kate] Surrounded by soothing colors and arches and curves to promote energy flow, I'm dining with best-selling author, world-recognized speaker, and unabashed feminist Reshma Saujani to learn more about where she came from and where she's going.

[Kate] Here we are in New York City.

[Reshma] Yeah.

[Kate] Of all the restaurants in all of New York City, you brought me to "The Well."

Why?

[Reshma] I love this place.

Um, this is the place where I come to heal, uh, where I come to rest.

I'm here, like, you know, two, three times a week.

Whether, it's the morning with my dog grabbing a green juice or, you know, having a lunch by myself, as moms love to do.

Right?

[Kate] A rare lunch by yourself... [Reshma] Right, a rare moment.

And, you know, the way that this "The Well" came about, you know, I matchmade the three founders.

I have, you know, wonderful relationships with each of them.

I love to get people to quit their jobs.

[Kate laughs] It's like, I can, like, spot someone who's like, not living, right... [Kate] Their truth.

[Reshma] ...their truth, right.

I also come here, you know, because it's a reminder of how I need to be living.

You know, I try to eat here, you know, during the week because I know I'm going to be eating greens and eating vegetables and I'm going to be eating organic food, and like that's going to set me up for when I'm traveling or the amount of public speaking that I'm doing.

When you are a woman who wants to make the world a little bit better, that you have to go on three planes a day.

You have to constantly be driving yourself.

You have to not be sleeping.

You have to be saying yes to everything, because, you know, the world can't wait.

My friends will say, "No one works harder than Reshma Saujani" and it's kind of like, you know, it's true.

And so, I don't often times pay attention to how I'm feeling.

[Kate] Yes.

[Reshma] You know, I'm the person who will go give a speech in front of 10,000 people, if I only slept two hours or if I'm just getting over a cold.

You know, I will take the 6am, you know, flight back home just so I can give my baby a little bit of, just so I can tuck him in at night.

So, it's like, I think when you're living at that level, it's like you can miss the signs of, like, "I'm not feeling well and what do I need to do?"

[Kate] Take me back to Schaumburg, Illinois, where you grew up.

Who did you want to be when you were in high school and what did you think you would do?

[Reshma] Oh, my God.

You know, my parents came here as refugees.

We grew up, and you'll appreciate this being from there, being from in and around the suburbs of Chicago, you know, growing up in the '80s, we were one of the only brown families in our neighborhood.

It was a really working class, you know, white neighborhood, um, and my parents had saved enough money to move out into the suburbs.

We had this little house; the school was across the street and I was bullied all the time.

You know, our house was spray painted, you know, go back to your own country.

[Kate] Really.

[Reshma] And so, growing up in Schaumburg, Illinois was hard.

[Kate] Really.

[Reshma] It was really, really, really hard.

Middle school was brutal.

And, you know, in high school though I kind of found my own identity and I embraced being Reshma Saujani and I embraced the facts that my parents were Indian and my mother wore a sari and a bindi and that I was a Hindu, and that, you know, we had a different culture.

Um, and so that then opened up this entire world of activism.

[Kate] So, you were an activist when you were a teenager?

[Reshma] Oh...my God, yeah, from the beginning.

From the time I was 12 or 13.

[Kate] When you think about who you wanted to be coming out of high school and going to college, what was that?

[Reshma] I mean, I wanted to be a public servant.

I love John F. Kennedy, Dr. King, Mahatma Gandhi, Mandela.

I had this in my belly from the time I was little, the sense that I wanted to stand up for those who have been, you know, discriminated against and treated unfairly.

[Kate] Bone broth just arrived at the table.

[Reshma] Okay, I'm...need to have some.

[Kate] I want you to take uh, a sip and tell me what you think.

[Reshma] Okay.

[Kate] I have never had bone broth.

[Reshma] Oh, my God.

[Kate] And it is delicious.

[Reshma] Delicious.

[Kate] That's right.

We are starting this meal off with bone broth.

Bone broth extracts the nutrients found in animal bones and tissues, add in some lemon and thyme and other herbs, and it is a nutritious start to your meal.

But back to Reshma's story.

Like, so many graduates, Reshma came out of Yale Law School and found herself drowning in debt.

[Reshma] And so now, I have $300,000 in student loan debt, I get an internship working at a really fancy law firm Davis Polk and I'm making, oh my gosh, I think it was like, you know, $2,000 a month.

My parents never seen, my father framed my first paycheck.

[Kate] Did he really?

[Reshma] Because I'm like, wow.

So, I don't do the math, and I'm like, "Oh, I'll just go work for the man, you know what I mean, for a couple of years and then take off my golden handcuffs, pay off my student loan debt, and I'll be free."

And, I am getting more and more and more unhappy.

And more, and I'm getting older.

So, I'm stuck, you know, and eight years goes by and I wake up kind of early 2009, 2010, and I am just miserable.

Now, it is untenable to keep going to that job that I hate, to be not making a dent in these loans, to knowing, you know, listen, I was very blessed from the time I was 12 or 13 to know what I wanted to do.

You know, we say in Hinduism, "What's your dharma?

Like, what are you put on this earth to do?"

I felt that very deeply.

[Kate] You felt your dharma?

[Reshma] I felt that I was supposed to be a warrior.

I felt it.

[Kate] A warrior.

[Reshma] A warrior.

[Kate] And what did you mean by that?

[Reshma] I mean, I was supposed to fight for people.

I've always, you know, look, I think I've been blessed with the gift of my voice.

And, this ability to articulate and to, you know, explain.

And I remember calling my dad up and saying, you know, I can't do this anymore.

And I remember him saying, "Beta, just quit."

[Kate] So, everyone was telling you.

[Reshma] Everybody was thinking this.

[Kate] You wanted to do it, everyone was telling you to do it... [Reshma] And then, I do it.

[Kate] In 2010, Reshma decided to run for Congress against an 18 year incumbent.

It is the first time an Indian American woman had ever run for the spot.

[Reshma] Now, I don't know, if you know anything about New York City politics, but this place is brutal.

Brutal.

You know, you basically have to pay your dues, wait your turn, it is cutthroat.

I'm this, like, 32, 33-year-old young woman and I have no idea how to run a campaign.

Like, no idea.

No one would work for me.

Nobody will like, you know what I mean, um, help me.

And so, I got this ragtag group of, like, young people who are just excited that someone has the courage to just take on the establishment.

And, it was the best 10 months of my life.

[Kate] And it was also, a moment of great courage for you personally.

[Reshma] Yes.

I had to raise a million dollars.

I had never raised money before.

I had to hire a team.

I had to walk into senior centers or, you know what I mean, um, parades and give speeches off the cuff.

And so, every day, I was shaking.

So... [Kate] It was that scary.

It was that hard.

[Reshma] It was that scary, it was that hard, and people were mean.

You know, here I was, this young woman and people would say mean things, write mean things.

People would, you know, it was... and I had to learn how to have a thick skin.

[Kate] And you lost.

[Reshma] Miserably.

[Kate] And what was that like and what did that loss teach you?

[Reshma] Devastating.

First of all, I thought I was going to win.

[Kate] You did?

[Reshma] Oh, my God.

Up until, like, the very day, we go back to this hotel room where all my supporters are gathered, my dad's there, and the TV turns on and election returns are coming on, and I'm, like, barely getting 19 percent of the vote.

I mean, I had gotten crushed.

My dad just comes up to me, he's like, "Okay, I'm going to bed now."

[Kate] Oh, thank you, these look gorgeous.

Wow.

[Reshma] Delicious.

[Kate] That is beautiful, thank you.

WAITER: Enjoy.

[Reshma] Thank you.

[Kate] Thank you, so much.

Look at this, this is so beautiful.

[Reshma] Beautiful.

It's almost too pretty to eat.

[Kate] And these squash blossoms on the top, these orange squash blossoms.

[Reshma] It's incredible.

It's too pretty to eat.

[Kate] ...are just beautiful.

The Well Blend is one of the signature salads that changes seasonally.

Today, we are treated to dark leafy greens, braised chickpeas, heirloom vegetables, and brussel sprouts all topped with a delicious turmeric tahini vinaigrette.

[Kate] So, in that moment, I'm sure it was devastating but it set you up for the next huge chapter of your life.

[Reshma] Yeah.

[Kate] Didn't it?

[Reshma] It did.

Well, one of the things it taught me was that failure doesn't break you.

And second, it freed me up to do what I was meant to do.

So, I was like, well I'm not going back to that job, I didn't like, and what's the thing that I saw on the campaign trail that's really moved me?

And I kept thinking, you know, this is when I discovered girls in coding.

Because, I would go into computer science classes and there's just boys.

There weren't any girls, and because I wasn't a computer scientist I was like, well, what's going on here?

[Kate] Where are the girls?

[Reshma] Where are the girls?

[Kate] Yeah.

[Kate] In 2010, less than 18 percent of those in the technology workforce were female.

Less than 18 percent of students who graduated in computer science were women.

Only one in ten of American high schools even offered computer science.

So much technological innovation was happening, so much of our lives were relying on technology but women were getting left out.

Enter: Girls Who Code.

[Reshma] And when little girls looked at the image of who a computer programmer was, they were like, yeah, no thank you.

You know, you cannot be what you cannot see.

And so, in 2010, I was like wait whoa.

Like, I'm the daughter of refugees.

These jobs pay $120,000 a year, like we, there are so many young girls across the country that could really benefit from one of these jobs.

Like, let's go get them in the industry.

[Kate] In those early years of Girls Who Code, what did you do to get more girls into the system, to make it attractive for them, and to show them the way?

[Reshma] We made coding cool.

And we did a video with Lizzo, we did a video with Doja Cat.

We did books, you know.

We had a super, so basically for 10 years, we're like, we're making coding cool, making coding cool, making coding cool.

We said, "You want to be a changemaker?

You want to make the world a better place?

Learn how to code and let's build something that will help you do that."

So...and it was a revolutionary shift in getting girls interested in computer science.

(Upbeat contemporary music with beat continues) [Kate] What started as a class of twenty has now reached more than a half a million girls worldwide.

"Girls Who Code" has 130 partners and 10,000 clubs across the country.

At every minute, there is a girl learning how to code.

[Kate] When you were scaling it and just beginning, what was the biggest pain point?

[Reshma] Financially, I raised a hundred million dollars over ten years of down profit dollars.

Like, literally strapping my baby to my back and asking for $50,000 at a time.

And so, I saw the vision, and I just needed to raise enough resources to teach as many girls as I possibly could.

So, we never talked about "Girls Who Code" as an organization, we talked about it as a movement.

The other thing that helped is my failure.

You know, I ran again for now public advocate.

I lost again, I'm like a serial failed politician.

(Kate laughs) But I had run... [Kate] A serial risktaker.

[Reshma] Right.

I had run on this platform that I wanted every kid in New York City to learn how to code and I had lost.

And now, when I lost the second time, I now had a real chip on my shoulder.

"I'm going to show you."

And that's what happened to me.

Alright, if you're not going to elect me to do this service, I'm going to do it on my own.

I'm going to teach every kid in America to code.

And so, every year I just kept pushing.

More clubs, more programs, more girls.

More, more, more, because I really believed in the fact that, like, learning to code changes people's lives.

[Kate] I read the quote from you that says, "We teach our girls to be perfect and we teach our boys to be brave," and that really hit me, because that says so much.

When you said that, what did you mean?

[Reshma] Every "Girls Who Code" teacher would tell me the same story that went something like this: so, when girls would come into our program to learn how to code, none of them had coded before.

And during that first week, they're sitting there looking at their computer screen and a student will call her teacher over.

She'll say, "I don't know what code to write."

And the teacher will look at her screen and she'll see a blank text editor.

So, if she didn't know any better, she thought that her student spent the past 20 minutes just staring at the screen.

[Kate] Right.

[Reshma] But when she pressed undo on the computer, she saw that the student actually wrote code, but then deleted it.

So, instead of saying, "Hey, look at what I wrote here.

Tell me what I should do differently," they'd rather show nothing at all.

So...it's this idea, of, you know, it's this idea of perfection or bust.

[Kate] Interesting.

[Reshma] And like, you had learned to give up before you even try.

And so, I wrote my book "Brave Not Perfect," to be like, is that true?

And like, more importantly can you unlearn it?

(Upbeat pop music) [Kate] With four books under her belt, Reshma is spreading her message.

But her work doesn't stop with girls, Reshma knows some of these girls will grow up to become mothers and worries the current workforce won't support both roles.

[Kate] What is the Marshall Plan for Moms?

[Reshma] So, the Marshall Plan for Moms is the movement that I'm building now to really push for, you know, private and public policies to help moms thrive.

Um, and so, you know, in the workplace and, you know, in government that means paid leave.

We are the only industrialized nation that doesn't have paid leave.

Almost 90 percent of women return back to work ten days after having a baby.

We are the only industrialized nation that doesn't have affordable childcare.

The vast majority of families spend more on their childcare than any other expense.

So, like, so many women just work to work.

Because childcare is so expensive and so not affordable.

And, you know, the third thing that really needs to change is the motherhood penalty.

You know, we spend a lot of time talking about the pay gap and you know, the real pay gap is between moms, you know what I mean, and dads.

Or moms and women who don't have children.

Um, and so, you lose almost 40 percent of your income the minute that you become a mother.

And so, we have got to like, again, rethink the entire, and the pandemic was such a gift in that sense.

[Kate] Wasn't it?

[Reshma] Because it just exposed this, that like two thirds of women are basically doing two full time jobs, two and a half full time jobs, they're like taking care of their kids, and they're doing the laundry, and they're homeschooling them, and they're making sure that they have their shoes, and they're cared for, and they're showing up at work.

And it's untenable.

[Kate] What did you learn when you had children as someone who is ambitious, who has really big visions for changing the world and then you were tasked with taking care of two little souls.

Uh, how did you balance it, and what did you learn?

[Reshma] Well, I learned that, like, having it all is just a euphemism for doing it all.

(Kate laughs) If you had asked me three years ago, would I be building an organization to focus on moms I would have laughed at you.

I was definitely like, don't put me in the mom category.

Because I didn't, I often feel like what we do to moms is that we put that identity on them and they can be nothing else.

[Kate] Right.

Right.

[Reshma] And so... [Kate] They can't be both.

[Reshma] They can't be both.

[Kate] Right.

[Reshma] And they're not taken seriously.

All of these things and I love being a mom.

[Kate] I do too.

[Reshma] But I also, love being a social entrepreneur and I don't want to have to pick.

[Kate] I can tell how passionate you are about this, and looking at the trajectory of your career and the times that you ran for public office and failed, do you think that you would run again?

[Reshma] You know, maybe.

I am...people ask me this all the time, I...remember I told you this that I am put on this earth to fight, as a warrior.

And I really feel like right now the political system is so broken that I just don't know, like, I've taught more girls to code than any other school district, any government, any town, any, you know, any state.

And, same thing with moms.

Like, I actually feel like potentially, you know, the Marshall Plan for Moms can get more moms the support they need than if I was one congressperson fighting in Washington.

That you need agitation almost happening outside of the system to shake the system up and say, "Do something for us."

[Kate] And you want to be that agitation.

[Reshma] And I want to be that agitator.

[Kate] Yeah.

[Reshma] And I feel comfortable in that role, you know what I mean?

Because I'm angry enough, I'm pissed enough, I love this country enough to make me want and demand more for moms and for women.

[Kate] When you've said that you've always had a sense of your dharma being a warrior, uh, what you just described is a warrior.

[Reshma] Mm-hmm.

It is, and I think sometimes when you...and I see this with friends that are in politics, it's like the system doesn't allow you to be you.

I don't know how to not be me.

Someone else said this to me, "You're not ruthless enough for politics."

And there's probably some truth to that.

Like, I get to say my truth every day.

I don't have to censor myself.

I don't have to apologize.

I may piss people off, and I pay the ramifications for that, but that's fine.

I think everything, you know, being the daughter of refugees and having a family that was literally kicked out of their home, you know, because someone made a decision for them and they weren't able to fight back.

You know, I was telling you about, like, I remember seeing my father in moments where he's, they've experienced a tremendous amount of racism.

I remember one time someone spray painted our house and he was just outside whistling while he was cleaning the Clorox.

He didn't get to fight.

But his daughter can.

[Kate] That's what you're all about, yeah.

Well, cheers to you.

This has been such a delight.

Thank you for joining me at "The Well..." [Reshma] Thank you.

[Kate] ...for this beet juice and this delicious meal.

It really, I've enjoyed it so much.

[Reshma] Thank you, so much.

(Upbeat positive contemporary music) [Kate] I loved my meal with Reshma Saujani, a woman who realized in the midst of corporate America, she wanted more.

She ran for Congress and lost.

A setback for some, was a setup for her.

A chance to double down on purpose.

Her dharma, she says, is to be a warrior and boy, is she doing that.

She's fighting for girls and women to become more, but even warriors need to recharge and rest, and that's part of her story too.

Because you get the feeling she needs all the energy she can muster, and that she is just getting started.

[Kate] If you would like to know more about the guests, the restaurants, and the inspiring stories of success, please visit todinefortv.com or follow us on Facebook and Instagram at To Dine For TV.

We also have a podcast, To Dine For the podcast is available on Apple podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.

To Dine For with Kate Sullivan is made possible by... [Announcer] There are people in your life who count on you for what matters most.

American National agents are close to home and committed to our communities.

They'll help you find the right coverage for you, your family, even your farm and business.

You can learn more at americannational.com.

Lavazza has worked towards perfecting the art of blending coffee for four generations, celebrating coffee in all its forms.

Lavazza Classico can be brewed however you take your coffee.

Lavazza.

Devoted to coffee since 1895.