Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

NARRATOR: The nation's favorite celebrities-- We are special then, are we?

Oh, that's excellent.

NARRATOR: --paired up with an expert-- We're a very good team, you and me.

NARRATOR: --and a classic car.

Their mission-- to scour Britain for antiques.

I have no idea what it is.

Oh, I love it.

NARRATOR: The aim-- to make the biggest profit at auction.

Yes!

NARRATOR: But it's no easy ride.

There's no accounting for taste.

NARRATOR: Who will find a hidden gem?

Who will take the biggest risks?

Will anybody follow expert advice?

Do you like them?

No.

NARRATOR: There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.

- Are you happy?

- Yes.

- Promise?

- Ecstatic.

NARRATOR: Time to put your pedal to the metal.

This is "Celebrity Antiques Road Trip."

Yeah.

Today, we're in the South of England with a dynamic duo who strike fear into the heart of even the hardest entrepreneur.

They are two of TV's biggest business brains.

Yes.

It's Margaret Mountford and Nick Hewer.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Do you know anything about antiques at all?

One out of one.

You know from your days on "The Apprentice" it's about product selection.

Absolutely.

You buy some at a low price and some at a high price and you have to low-- you know, so you spread your risk.

Yeah.

That's why we-- Spread it.

--shouldn't just spend it all on one thing.

So if you come out with a stuffed monkey that's cost you 400 quid-- NARRATOR: Then you'll be in big trouble.

Made famous as Lord Sugar's advisors on "The Apprentice," Margaret and Nick are famed for their dry wit and damning way with words.

Although you've got very sharp teeth, you don't like talking about money.

No, and I don't bargain.

And you're not going to bargain-- - No, I'm not.

- --and you've got to.

I hate bargaining.

I hate-- Well, that's it.

You're going to have to overcome that.

Why?

Because.

Because.

NARRATOR: An impressive pair needs an impressive car, so they're traveling today and this beautiful beast, a 1976 Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow.

[INAUDIBLE] the right It's a big, sluggish brute.

NARRATOR: Oh.

It's like driving-- Glad you're driving it, not me.

--a blue whale.

NARRATOR: Steering Margaret and Nick on the trip are two very experienced auctioneers, Catherine Southon and Philip Serrell, who are hurtling to meet them in a 1994 TVR Chimera.

I'll tell you what.

This is fantastic-- open top car, glorious countryside, and beautiful bird in the passenger seat.

Oh, look at this.

I am not a beautiful bird.

You are.

Don't say that to Margaret.

Don't-- [INTERPOSING VOICES] CATHERINE SOUTHON: You will.

She won't appreciate that.

What do you think they'll be like?

I'm really looking forward to it, but I'm a little bit nervous.

They're going to have a [INAUDIBLE].. Because it's going to be like-- I don't know.

I feel like I might-- they might put us in detention or something.

Like we're on trial.

Make us [INAUDIBLE] or-- I don't know.

It's going to be-- What if they give us a challenge?

I don't know.

They might do, mightn't they?

Like on "The Apprentice."

Yeah.

If it's not making a profit, they could challenge it.

NARRATOR: Well, that's the name of the game.

With 400 pounds to spend, our two pairs will be taking a trip around the sunny South of England.

Starting in Southampton, they'll adventure north, making purchasing pit stops as they go, ending in Cambridge where they'll punt for a profit at auction.

Exciting.

With Southampton the cruise ship capital of the UK, it seems only fitting for the teams to meet up down by the quayside.

Steady.

NICK HEWER: Look at the size of that cruiser.

To me it does look-- Grand, isn't it?

--regal, regal.

It is.

I feel like we're going to meet royalty.

Well, you've got almost into a space.

That's not bad.

Hi.

How are you?

- Hello, Philip.

- Margaret.

- Hello.

- Good to see you.

- Lovely to meet you.

- Yes, you too.

You too.

- I'm Catherine.

Hi, Catherine.

- Lovely to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- Hi, Margaret - Hope you haven't been-- - Hello - --waiting too long.

- Philip.

- How are you?

- Good to see you.

- Good to meet you.

- Thank you.

- Hello.

I'm Catherine.

Good to meet you.

We were musing over what you might arrive in.

Well we were-- PHILIP SERRELL: We thought British style, we thought.

NICK HEWER: We had this imposed on us.

Yeah.

Well, we need to decide who's going to be working with who.

We were perhaps thinking boy-girl, boy-girl.

Yeah.

We kind of just decided if you don't mind.

We thought-- - I think Nick would always-- - I'm very happy with that.

- --like being with a girl.

PHILIP SERRELL: Yeah.

Very happy.

- If you don't mind, Nick.

- Catherine.

What a plan.

And I'm relying 100% on you because I know nothing about it.

We are doomed, Margaret.

We are doomed.

Well, we'll enjoy ourselves then, won't we?

Come on let's go and have a go then.

You'll have fun.

We've got to walk.

You know we're quite competitive.

NARRATOR: Oh.

- We've got to win this.

NARRATOR: That's what I like to hear.

I love a bit of fighting spirit.

En route to their first shop, Nick drops a bit of a bombshell.

I've got a notebook with me-- Oh no.

--and I'm marking you out of 10.

No!

I am, actually.

This is what-- this is what-- I am weighting your advice 1 to 10, and then I'm weighting the return at the auction 1 to 10, and there's a correlation between your advice and whether it works or not.

Yes?

This is what I was dreading.

I thought you were going to be around corners with your notebook, aren't you?

Like you do on "The Apprentice."

I'm not going to be around corners.

I'm going to be right beside you with the notebook.

No.

NARRATOR: Right.

Top of your game then, Catherine.

This way.

Should I open the door.

Go on.

It's good fun, auctioning.

Is it open?

Yes.

I'm Nick.

I'm Peter.

- Peter, how are do you doing?

- Hi, Peter.

Good to see you.

Hello.

Nice to see you.

NARRATOR: Time to declare war on the other team.

Is this a bazooka?

PETER: Yeah.

Rocket launcher.

Is it really?

PETER: Yeah.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: Your kind of thing, Nick?

Cor blimey.

There are times when I've dearly wanted one of these.

NARRATOR: From guns to a pair of unusual metal vases.

What are these?

These are shell casings, are they?

PETER: That's trench art.

First World War.

NICK HEWER: Is that right?

PETER: It is.

Literally, they're 100 years old.

Oh, well you could-- So they've been made [INAUDIBLE].. but are they-- They're brass shell cases, and if you-- 68 pounds for the pair.

They weren't made actually in the trenches themselves.

No, no, no.

They were made behind the trenches in the blacksmith's shop-- - Nice shape of them.

--and things like that.

I like that sort of pinched-in shape there.

– NICK HEWER: There's a sort of a sadness about it.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: I know.

When you think about what went behind it, it is-- PETER: They're very evocative, aren't they?

NICK HEWER: It's not a thing of beauty, is it?

PETER: No.

It's not.

NICK HEWER: It's quirky, and there's a story.

PETER: Yeah.

- I like that.

- Yeah.

I do too.

Which one?

Which one?

Look.

Look.

Look.

Look.

Look.

Look.

Look.

Look.

NARRATOR: Oh.

Spotted something you like, Catherine.

Kentish Town?

From the Underground.

So this is original?

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

I'll say everything is original.

How much is this?

It's very clever putting a hand over the price.

Do you like that?

It's in all enamel side.

PETER: All enamel.

Yeah.

NICK HEWER: I do.

PETER: Quality enamel.

NICK HEWER: Do you really like that?

I do like that?

Well, no, but I-- I promised myself I would not tell you to buy anything because I know it could bite me on the bottom.

And anyway, you know I'm [INAUDIBLE].. And you'd tell me off.

How much is that, by the way?

PETER: What's the price on it?

150.

What, that?

What's your normal-- we're sort of trade, really.

PETER: Yeah.

Trade is 10%.

Is that all you get?

PETER: Yeah.

That's appalling.

Well-- I had no idea they were so [INAUDIBLE].. PETER: That's normal trade.

I thought you'd be quite good at this bargaining lark.

Well, I haven't started yet.

Yeah.

But is your background-- what's your background?

- What we're going to do-- - Is it maths?

Is it accounts?

No.

What we're going to do is we're going to-- you can either take that and bargain on one, or you bundle.

Bundle.

I love bundle.

I love bundling.

And then we have a list, and then we say, well, if we do take two of these or three, then one of this, and then you work out the best sort of deal as a bundle.

NARRATOR: While Nick's busy teaching Catherine how to do a deal, Margaret and Phil are ready for a right old rummage in the Old Curiosity Shop.

PHILIP SERRELL: Hello there.

JAMES: Hello, Margaret.

NARRATOR: After 45 years in the antiques game, owner James knows his stuff, and Philip's determined to sniff out the good bits.

Nobody comes up here.

Well, that's what we like to hear.

Yep.

We are special then, are we?

NARRATOR: Well, special to us, certainly.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: What are those?

What are those?

I like glasses.

They're not very big, though.

PHILIP SERRELL: Well, that's the whole point about them.

They're called illusion glasses, right, and the reason why they're-- if you put your finger [INAUDIBLE]-- - Yeah, I thought-- yes.

Does it-- they're for mean hosts?

No.

While you're pouring your guests a drink, you can drink a very meager amount while they're getting completely pickled because your glass will take about a quarter of theirs.

So these are illusion glasses because when you fill it up, it looks like you've got a full glass.

Wouldn't it be better to give them to the guests?

Well, yeah, yeah.

If you're being really [INAUDIBLE].. NARRATOR: My thoughts exactly, Margaret.

PHILIP SERRELL: So these are probably around about, I would think 1820, 1840, something like that.

JAMES: You can have those for 20 the pair.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: That's the marked price, though.

We don't buy things for the marked price, do we?

JAMES: 15.

- This lady-- 15 This lady is good, James.

What about if we put a little parcel together, James?

That might be the way forward.

Do you want to take her to court about that?

Oh, yeah.

And I think she might beat me.

She knows a bit more than me.

I think she-- I think she knows a lot more than me.

Well, let's just put those down.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: --though I quite like-- because they're plain, aren't they?

I don't like all this stuff with all these-- And what about these here?

Books.

PHILIP SERRELL: There you are Let's have a look at the "MP's Garden of--" MARGARET MOUNTFORD: "MP's Garden of Verses."

With apologies to-- must be Robert Louis Stevenson, RLS.

I'll give you a deal on the two books and the glasses.

30 for the lot.

30?

James.

I'm warming to you, James, by the minute.

Do you like these?

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Yeah.

I do.

I like this because I can't write legibly at all, and I think the idea that you've got something like this, and they're all different, and it's nice and clean.

PHILIP SERRELL: James, you've asked us too much money for this because it says here it's two shillings and six pence, which is very roughly 12 and 1/2 pence, isn't it Margaret?

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: I think so I'll do the books and those then at 25.

There you are.

Did you say 20 for these two then?

Yeah.

He did.

I said 25.

No.

No.

It's my-- 30 then 25.

--my hearing's awful.

Go on then.

20.

PHILIP SERRELL: There we are, sir.

JAMES: Thank you.

PHILIP SERRELL: I'll just shake you by the hand.

You're a gentleman.

Thank you.

NARRATOR: That's two lots bagged.

15 pounds for the illusion glasses and a fiver for the books.

Meanwhile, back with the bundle-forming Nick, Catherine has spotted something tucked high on a shelf I think that's good then.

I think that might make us a bit of money.

Which?

CATHERINE SOUTHON: The stained glass.

Can your son, who looks a little bit more agile than you, shimmy up there and bring it down?

MAN: Yeah.

It is heavy.

NICK HEWER: Is it heavy?

It'll be flexible too.

MAN: It's even cheaper.

NICK HEWER: And that's all original, legit, and everything?

MAN: Yeah.

It's got one crack across the far side.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: Oh, yes, in the green.

NARRATOR: So while the slightly cracked, 120-pound, art nouveau stained glass is added to the bundle-- Do you mind if we head on down?

PETER: No.

Help yourself.

Thank you, Peter.

NARRATOR: --our team head into the bowels of the shop, where they discover another sign, this time for a ship called the Aurora.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: Peter?

Yeah.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: Can I just ask you, these Aurora things-- PETER: Yeah.

What were they actually-- obviously, they were on the ship as what exactly?

They go along the railings.

Were they on the railings?

PETER: On the other side of the gangway.

By the gangway.

OK. NICK HEWER: That's quite interesting.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: I think it's quite fun.

It'd be great if you had a daughter called Aurora.

Do you know what?

I was just thinking that.

NICK HEWER: You could put them-- CATHERINE SOUTHON: It's the sort of name.

NICK HEWER: --on the pram.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: You'd have to have a pretty big pram.

NARRATOR: The MV Aurora is a modern cruise ship which sails from Southampton, so despite being relatively new, these gangplank signs have a high ticket price of 85 pounds.

Bundling complete, Nick has chosen the trench art vases, the old enamel Kentish Town Underground sign, the stained glass window, and the Aurora signs.

Their combined ticket price is a whopping 413 pounds.

Better get your bartering head on, Nick.

What if we said 200, and we'll be out of your hair.

You can say 200, but you won't get it for 200.

Oh.

- We'll get out of your hair.

- I can't do it.

I really can't.

No?

What would you say to-- I'd do it for 250 for the lot.

You can squeeze a little bit because-- I have.

Have you?

Yeah.

Could you squeeze a tiny bit more because that would be wonderful for you to get rid of all of this.

My back's killing me.

He's an old man.

All this standing up.

PETER: I know.

And I've got to heave it out to the car.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: Can we say 220?

Yeah.

230.

Tell you what, pal.

You're going to get such a smacked bottom if that doesn't sell.

I can tell you much.

Please help me out here.

220, and then I won't get into so much trouble.

Please.

Go on.

Got it here.

Cash.

Look.

PETER: Folding money.

- The folding 20s.

- Go on.

220.

- 220.

Put it there.

- Thank you, Catherine.

I'm so sorry.

He sounds exhausted, poor man.

- Well done.

I am.

My legs have gone.

No, not you.

Peter, I'm not worried about you.

NARRATOR: Charming.

Amazing discount on four items, all thanks to some bolshie bargaining.

But they have taken a big risk by blowing more than half their budget in the first shop.

Margaret and Phil have only spent a paltry 20 pounds, so have hit the road and are heading north to the pretty city of Salisbury.

So what do we do about the next shop in Salisbury?

Well, I hope we get a good, interesting selection of things, and I hope we can find something a bit different.

Do you want to win?

Is it important to you?

Certainly do.

Yeah.

I want to beat Nick.

NARRATOR: That's the road trip spirit.

Salisbury Cathedral has the tallest church spire in the UK.

In fact, it doesn't have a peal of bells because for fear the vibrations would bring down the tower.

Wow.

But it's not the cathedral that the team are here for.

Oh no.

They're heading to Salisbury Antiques Market in the hunt of some hidden gems.

Watch you don't trip over that, whatever it is.

What on Earth is this?

What is it?

It's a dole.

Bells.

Westminster chimes.

So they're all in an order then?

Four, three, two, one.

PHILIP SERRELL: Oh, I'm going to conduct.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: OK. PHILIP SERRELL: Ready?

Four, three, two, one.

No.

Whoops.

Whoops.

- Come on.

Timing.

Try it.

Four, three, two, one, two.

Which is two?

The one that you just hit.

[BELLS RINGING] Three, four, two.

Four, two.

It's like the bloody generation game this, isn't it?

It's not going very well here at all.

Then hit that one.

You got it!

I got it!

Well done!

But would anybody else want it?

That's the question.

NARRATOR: Don't quit your day job.

Better get that business head back on, and give Peter here a grilling.

Have you got anything nice we could have cheaply and make some money on?

PETER: I'll have a look in my cupboard and see what I've got.

PHILIP SERRELL: Is this the special cupboard?

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Secret cupboard.

PHILIP SERRELL: Oh look at this then.

NARRATOR: Ah.

A box of assorted silver goodies and not a ticket price to be seen.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Mm, I like silver.

PHILIP SERRELL: Do you?

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Is that a pill box?

PHILIP SERRELL: This is-- you press that there, and that comes open, and that will invite little peeks and things in there, wouldn't it?

It's [INAUDIBLE].

Yeah.

So this is like a little etui.

I would think it dates to, what, 1790?

PETER: Yeah.

And this would have been-- you'd have put perhaps needle cases in there, toothpicks in there.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Pictures in.

PETER: Samuel Pemberton.

PHILIP SERRELL: Yeah.

He used to play inside left for Southampton.

Still does, doesn't he?

When was this, 1790?

He's got [INAUDIBLE].

PETER: It's a nice little piece of antique silver.

Right.

Come on and hit us with the bad news.

50 PHILIP SERRELL: So what about if you put those two together?

PETER: Which two?

PHILIP SERRELL: That one and that one.

NARRATOR: Ah.

Phil has spotted a Scottish snuffbox made of horn, probably cow, with a rather lovely amethyst on the top.

PHILIP SERRELL: What's the best you can do for these then?

I could do the two for 90 pounds.

Have you no conscience at all?

- Not very much.

- No.

OK. [INAUDIBLE] If it was up to me, right, I'd pay you whatever you wanted for your stuff, if it was up to me.

Yeah.

But Margaret here, right, she's got a reputation to hold.

Have you seen her on "The Apprentice"?

PETER: I have.

PHILIP SERRELL: Hard.

Hard.

PETER: But not in real life.

PHILIP SERRELL: Oh, no.

She's lovely.

But this is not real life.

Pussycat, really.

But the old claws might have to come out.

See that?

NARRATOR: Meow.

So come on then, is there a deal to be done?

I think the very best we could do would be 50 quid for the two.

PETER: Would you meet me halfway?

45 because we said 40 to begin with.

No.

Uh.

Well, for the-- are we talking about for the two?

PHILIP SERRELL: No.

We're doing two.

50 quid for the two, aren't we, Margaret?

Yeah, and we have to try and make a profit on it.

Yeah PETER: 60.

I'll do it for 60.

Did you say 50?

PETER: 60.

Look, Margaret.

Work your charm.

I've never been accused of having charm, I'm afraid.

NARRATOR: Looks like the wooing is up to you then, Phil.

PHILIP SERRELL: I've always liked Peter.

I don't know what you think.

- Hm, nice man.

He's been a genuine, straight bloke, hasn't he?

Lovely man.

People have said around here what a lovely man he is, haven't they?

Really nice, lovely, kind man.

That's what they've said about him, haven't they?

Yeah.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Do you think they're right, though?

PHILIP SERRELL: Well, I don't know.

I think we might find out in a minute.

As long as you don't tell anyone else.

Oh, trust me.

No one is ever going to know.

NARRATOR: No.

Well, I won't tell.

PETER: Shall I put it in a bag?

Margaret, that's a good one.

NARRATOR: You finally got there.

At 25 pounds each, they've shaved 40 pounds off the asking price.

Now that's what I call doing a deal.

Back in Southampton, Catherine and Nick have hit the road.

So are you going to win this?

Sincerely hope so.

I mean, there are bragging rights involved in this.

OK.

So we got to win.

The man who got the better of Margaret Mountford.

There's a trophy in this.

I think so.

That would be good.

NARRATOR: He's clearly a man on a mission.

This afternoon, Catherine and Nick are taking a little bit of a break from shopping.

Where are we off to?

We're going to learn all about Spitfires.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Do you know anything about Spitfires?

Oh, that will be interesting.

That's wonderful.

It's the most beautiful aircraft and my father-in-law, as it were, was a Spitfire pilot.

So this means quite a lot to me.

When he died, we hired a Spitfire to fly over their house after the funeral and do a victory roll.

It was a terribly emotional moment.

That's lovely.

Lovely, yeah.

NARRATOR: Well, Nick's in for a real treat as they head off to Solent Sky, an aviation museum which houses an array of impressive old aircraft, including two of Southampton's most famous products-- the Supermarine S.6 seaplane, and of course, the superb Spitfire, around 8,000 of which were built in the city.

A symbol of British resistance, the iconic Spitfire was the decisive weapon during World War II and until its retirement from active service in 1954.

And its design was thanks to the late, great Reginald Mitchell.

Telling them all about him is Andy.

So who was he?

Where did he come from?

He came from Stoke-on-Trent, and he came down to Southampton in about 1916.

He'd been trained on the railways up in [INAUDIBLE]..

Going from big locomotive engines to delicate airplanes must have been quite a difference.

NARRATOR: Within just two years of joining Supermarine, Mitchell was appointed chief designer, and between 1920 and 1936, he designed 24 aircraft, including the single-seat racing seaplane, the S.6.

ANDY: When Mitchell penned this, he didn't sit down to say, I want to design a beautiful looking airplane.

Everything about it is function.

So when you look at this beautiful wing shape, that's the best aerodynamic shape he could come up with.

Hm.

ANDY: But not only that.

He made the wings into radiators, so they cool the water.

These beautiful flutes which run down the side of the aircraft, they cool the oil on the exterior vanes.

And the floats underneath, they actually double as fuel tanks, as well.

So everything on it is functional.

The majority of the technology that was designed for this aircraft was then taken and put into the early Spitfires.

So this aircraft is the precursor of the Spitfire.

And of course, this when it appeared, was space age to the public [INAUDIBLE] ANDY: Absolutely.

But you can't tell me that a fully-grown man got into that tiny, tiny cockpit.

ANDY: I know.

It's amazing, isn't it?

I must confess I tried to get in it the other day myself, and I'm not the slimmest of beasts by any means.

I know these chaps would have been a lot thinner than me, but not that thin.

It must have been absolutely awful.

It's really quite incredible.

NARRATOR: In 1931, the air ministry invited a selection of the best aircraft manufacturers to compete to develop a new technologically advanced fighter plane.

Using the lessons he'd learned designing planes such as the S.6, Mitchell went on to win the contract with his innovative and deadly fighter plane, the Supermarine Spitfire.

NICK HEWER: You can see the family resemblance, that's for sure.

Very, very beautiful and very decisive too in the battle.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

The key thing is though, is this streamlined approach to designing the airplane.

So what Mitchell did was he wanted to work on the aerodynamics as opposed to just having a big engine because the Americans had big, big, fat radial engines and sort of worried about the wings afterwards.

Mitchell's approach was to design a thoroughbred streamlined airplane.

And these turn?

ANDY: That's right NICK HEWER: To alter the pitch or alter the-- So the actual pitch alters on the propeller.

So when you take off, and you don't want overly too much power, you have a fine pitch so that the thread into the air is finer and gives you a nice smooth takeoff.

But then, when you're roaring down, attacking a position, you want that coarse pitch, so you shove it over to a coarse pitch with the propeller, and you're really getting maximum power through the engine.

The design is incredible, isn't it?

He really did think of everything, didn't he?

ANDY: Oh, absolutely all the way through.

I think one of the key things of the Spitfire-- it was such a good-looking aircraft, such an important symbol of what the RAF were doing at the time.

I think from the morale point of view, it was the biggest contribution that she bought during the Battle of Britain.

So what year did Mitchell die?

Mitchell died in 1937, bearing in mind the Spitfire first flew in 1936.

So Mitchell never got to see the Spitfire he designed enter service into the RAF or take part in the Battle of Britain, which was its finest hour.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: That's really sad actually, isn't it?

That he didn't actually get to see-- Absolutely CATHERINE SOUTHON: --that in battle.

Absolutely, and one wonders what he would have done had he not been lost at such an early age.

NARRATOR: Reginald Mitchell, we salute you.

And on that patriotic note, it's time to say toodle-pip to the first day of the trip.

Nighty night.

The next morning.

It's not even 9:00 AM, and already the bickering has begun.

NICK HEWER: But I will tell you one thing.

I'm coming out of the final shop without a penny.

Well, that may not be-- No.

No.

--the right tactic.

Well, I don't care.

That's what I'm doing.

He who dares wins.

Not necessarily.

The winner takes all.

Um, any more cliches?

What else do we got?

Fortune favors the brave.

Give me a timid one that sounds good.

Oh, dear.

I can't think of any.

(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Live to fight another day.

He who laughs last laughs longest.

Maybe that isn't quite, quite apposite.

(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) It's a straight way that has no turnings.

Um.

(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) He digs deepest who deepest digs.

Where did you get that from?

(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) I don't know.

NARRATOR: Don't let Lord Sugar hear you speak like that.

Silly voices aside, Nick certainly has dug deep when it comes to spending.

He's forked out 220 pounds on four items-- a pair of trench art vases, a Kentish Town sign, a stained glass window, and gangplank signs from a ship called Aurora, leaving 180 pounds to spend today.

Whereas Margaret hasn't made much of a dent in her 400-pound budget, spending just 70 pounds of it bagging the "Modern Alphabet" an MP joke books, a pair of illusion glasses, a small silver case, and a snuffbox.

Which means she'll have 330 pounds to play with when they arrive at their next stop on the trip, Bath.

PHILIP SERRELL: So we were in the same shop this morning.

Oh, that's going to be a bit of fun, isn't it?

I think it's an antique market.

That'll be like the boardroom.

That will be oh.

We're going to be behind you, sneaking up, making notes.

- Well, that'll be a job-- - Nick's going to be appearing-- --because we'll be behind you.

--with his glasses, making notes.

NARRATOR: The Bath VA, Vintage is held within Green Park Station, which closed in the early '70s, but this Grade II listed building was saved and has been put to good use.

Are we all focused?

Ready to go?

They haven't spent very much money yesterday.

Is the word parsimonious?

Is that the word?

- You're mean.

I know you're mean.

- Yes.

Very mean.

- Canny.

Possibly canny.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: Canny, yes.

So which way are you going to head off?

We're going that way.

NARRATOR: And they're off.

This monthly market has an eclectic mix of traders, so plenty of treats for our teams to get their teeth into.

- 600.

- 600?

For that?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- No.

Yeah.

That's what you'd give us to take it away?

Have you seen this lady perform?

NARRATOR: Ouch.

While Margaret's busy terrifying the traders, Catherine and Nick are getting creative.

How much is the easel?

The easel is 75 pounds.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: 75.

I bet this is not the sort of thing you thought you would be looking at on the road?

I didn't, but I appreciate the fact that we knew it would cost a [INAUDIBLE].

It would cost several hundred, I think, to get something like that.

VENDOR: Several hundred.

300 something.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: Yeah.

NICK HEWER: Well I-- no, I'll go along with it actually, and I think-- I mean, obviously 75 pounds is out of the question.

70 pounds.

Bottom price.

And I'll hold it for you.

Will you hold that price for us for 30 minutes?

Yes.

Thank you.

We're not committed to buying it.

Oh, that's fair enough.

But you're going to hold that price stable for 30 minutes.

And it's now 11:30.

He's got the watch.

By 12 o'clock, we will commit or walk away.

- OK. - OK?

That's fair enough, yeah.

I am frightened for you, Nick.

No, please.

I promise that's 30 minutes.

Lovely.

NARRATOR: Blimey.

Nick certainly doesn't mess about.

Now, shopping in the same place does have its advantages, like spying on the other team.

They're over there, look.

They're doing a deal over there.

I can't see what it is, but they've got something.

He's got a sign.

He's what?

He's got a sign.

Not a railway sign?

No.

Not Kentish Town, is it?

NARRATOR: You'd better hope not.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Oh, I don't like that.

That's horrible.

PHILIP SERRELL: It is, isn't it?

Sort of looks like Nick on a bad day, doesn't it?

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: It does.

NARRATOR: I'm not sure how being likened to a psychotic character from a horror movie is going to go down with Nick.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Look what we found.

What?

I'm not so sure, but you reckon it is, do you?

What is this?

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Truly horrible.

It's Jack Nicholson.

PHILIP SERRELL: She said it looks like Nick.

NICK HEWER: I'll tell you what.

The coloring is an absolute match for you.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: You've got the wrinkles and the little chubby-- [SHUSHING] NARRATOR: Ritual humiliation over, Phil needs to get Margaret buying.

I like-- that sign, do you like that?

I like that German shoe sign, yeah.

PHILIP SERRELL: Very prewar German, isn't it?

How much is that poster?

Well, the very, very best price is 20 pounds.

I think that's all right, don't you?

Only the shoemaker master warrants-- And what's your best?

20.

20 pounds.

And that's it, finished?

It is finished, yeah.

That's it.

It is fragile.

I warn you.

NARRATOR: So that's another lot bought by Margaret.

How's Catherine coping with her genial companion?

I can't believe him.

He's got a-- he's got a stick now.

He's quite frightening.

He really means business with this.

NARRATOR: Ah.

He's found a swagger stick, a symbol of military authority.

Stand easy, Sergeant Hewer.

Now, what's Phil found?

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Solid, isn't it?

PHILIP SERRELL: Let's go.

Can we have a look at this?

Now I've got a problem here-- Go on then.

--and this is the problem because Margaret does not like that chest.

BOTH: Oh!

NARRATOR: Neither does Phil by the look of it.

PHILIP SERRELL: Right.

That doesn't help, does it?

And that's that.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Does that make it worth more or less?

It's, um-- well, it's put a price on it, that is for sure.

If we give you a one-off offer.

Yeah, if you're generous.

35 quid, because-- 45 was my-- Well, it was going to be 45 until the end came off.

And I won't charge you for the damage.

PHILIP SERRELL: What do you think, Margaret?

I think it's 35.

You see, we've got to get it in the van.

It's just going to be problematic.

Oh, what a gentleman.

- You're a good chap.

- Thank you.

- Thank you very much.

- That all right.

You're welcome.

PHILIP SERRELL: Let me just pay you.

NARRATOR: So a spot of sweet-talking has got them the 19th-century pine chest.

NICK HEWER: You have a second?

He's busy with us, actually.

What does that say about you?

It says, be careful.

You're right.

I mean, he means business.

If we don't get our way, he's going to be very cross today.

Yes, but you don't have to humor him, you know.

PHILIP SERRELL: You don't have to humor him.

I like-- what is-- the expression isn't all mouth and no trousers, is it?

But it's something like that.

All [INAUDIBLE] and no [INAUDIBLE]??

What is it?

NARRATOR: Now, now, children.

Play nice.

NICK HEWER: Now come on, what about this easel?

Shall we deal with the easel?

We actually have 60 pounds here in my pocket, and we're very happy to do a deal and walk away.

I think that's fair.

If you fancy that, I think it's less than a 10% discount.

I'll take the stick off you first.

65 pounds is my last offer.

Do I put that back?

I've now got the stick.

I'm going to give the stick to you.

65 pounds.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: Does it come with all the paint?

The paint pots and the brushes and-- VENDOR: Yes, it does.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: --everything else.

VENDOR: Yes, it does.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: And everything else in the shop.

No Sold.

Everything.

And this?

No.

That's an extra 5 pounds, Nick.

This is a swagger stick?

It's a proper leather-covered covered swagger stick, yeah.

What's inside?

A cane.

Is it a cane?

It's a cane, yeah.

What are you going to do with that?

Why do we want this?

Well, we can work it in with the trench art.

Trench art.

Good.

Love it.

NARRATOR: I like your style, Nick.

Please, could we have them all at 68?

Yes, you can.

It's good.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

NARRATOR: That final commando swoop got the swagger stick for 3 pounds, and the easel, and, um, paint pots, and brushes for 65 pounds.

Looks like the other team has spotted a potential purchase too.

VENDOR: Uh, I can do that one for 18.

What have we got we can put that with?

How much did you say?

18.

18 quid.

Can we put that with something?

What is it?

Well, it's a mobile foot, isn't it?

- Yes.

- A model foot.

[INAUDIBLE] It could be a good doorstop.

Blast.

I thought that was rolling downhill then.

Could you take 15 quid for it?

VENDOR: Yeah.

PHILIP SERRELL: What do you want to do?

I think we should put it with the poster.

That'll do.

With a load of old cobblers.

Pay the man, please.

NARRATOR: So that's deal done and shopping complete for Margaret and Phil, who have spent a total of 140 pounds, less than Nick and Catherine spent in their first shop.

There's time now for a bit of exploring.

That Margaret is one smart cookie.

She recently completed her PhD in papyrology.

That's the study of ancient documents to you and me.

And as luck would have it, the historic city of Bath has some rather fascinating Roman artifacts that I know will tickle her fancy.

So they're heading off to the Roman Baths.

Dating back to around 60 AD, this is one of the most significant sites of archaeological interest in the whole country.

The baths are a major tourist attraction, with more than a million visitors flocking to the bubbling waters of the sacred spring every year.

Now, it may look like it's boiling, but it's actually natural gases being released, a bit like opening a bottle of fizzy pop.

The Romans believed this natural phenomenon to be the work of ancient gods.

The temple was dedicated to the goddess Sulis Minerva, and the water was said to be both nourishing and life giving, as well as being an effective agent of curses.

In Roman Britain, the baths were an exclusive luxury reserved for only the most rich and powerful.

When they were excavated 35 years ago, they uncovered some amazing artifacts, as manager Stephen explains.

It was found that all sorts of things had been thrown in as votive offerings.

A lot of coins, 12,500, but also something very special and curious, which are the Roman curse tablets-- Ah.

--from Bath, which are small sheets of lead or pewter that have had a message to the goddess inscribed on them, and they're then rolled or folded and thrown into the spring.

And what they are are their prayers.

They are asking the goddess to intervene, usually because the person has suffered some sort of wrong-- very often had something stolen.

And they're looking for the goddess' help in retrieving the goods, but not for them.

They're being retrieved for the goddess.

To give her an interest in doing it.

Yes.

I think so.

NARRATOR: There are 130 curse tablets, each with their own message scratched into the metal in Latin.

Dating from the second to the fourth century, they highlight the type of skulduggery that took place back in Roman times, mainly good old-fashioned thievery.

A lot of the curses talk about things that are fairly modest objects.

Archimedes, who lost two gloves, ask that the person who had stolen them should lose both his mind and his eyes.

So it was worth his while going to the trouble of writing all that out for two gloves.

This is one wishing blindness, childlessness, and ill-health on someone, but we don't know what the crime is because that bit's missing.

And this one is particularly relevant to the Roman Baths because this is someone who's lost a bathing tunic.

At which point did people think, actually, these aren't working.

Well, they go out of use in about the fifth century AD.

That's when they stop being used.

This may be due to Christian influence.

We don't know.

But we don't know that they didn't work, do we?

Uh, no.

I suppose not, but I'm sort of kind of thinking if they did, we'd still be chucking them in, wouldn't we?

[INAUDIBLE] Well, people are-- you go past any fountain that you see.

There's all sorts of-- well, not curses, but people are throwing coins into fountains, aren't they?

What on Earth are they doing that for?

See, the sad thing is that in my world, things sort of tend to have to have values.

I mean, where would you stand with these?

Are they worth hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands?

Well, it's an interesting point because, to my knowledge, none has ever been sold.

Well, I don't think we'd have got any for 400 pounds to put in our auction.

No.

I think the way you go on, Margaret, you could probably have negotiated your way around one of these.

NARRATOR: So as Phil has neatly brought us back to the subject of shopping, half a mile away.

Sergeant Hewer and Second-in-command Catherine have come to Caroline's antique shop armed with their remaining 112 pounds.

[LAUGHING] NICK HEWER: Why are you laughing?

Well, it looks-- At my bowler.

--comical.

What?

CAROLINE: It looks very comical.

Oh.

NARRATOR: And surprise, surprise, it's another sign that's turned their heads.

Your Lyons' Tea sign.

CAROLINE: Oh, the Lyons' Tea sign.

Um, that would be 130 pound.

Right.

NICK HEWER: What would your best price be, Caroline?

Well, us poor shopkeepers-- you know, it's a hard life.

No, I shall come down to 110, but that really is my rock bottom, truly.

Can I take my advisor, who knows everything, just for a walk around the shop, and we'll come back with an answer.

CAROLINE: Little chat.

NICK HEWER: Little chat.

NARRATOR: I think Nick's met his match in Caroline.

I would be happy to buy that at 60, 80 pounds, but she's not going to go anywhere now.

NICK HEWER: She's not moving, is she?

I fear you could be right there, Catherine.

Look, I'll tell you what.

100 for the sign, and then you can run away.

100 for the sign?

Should we toss, yes or no?

CATHERINE SOUTHON: No.

I think we need to make a decision that we're comfortable with.

NICK HEWER: Catherine, I am tossing for it.

Hold my stick.

CAROLINE: Oh, you're in control now.

Can we go for 95?

No.

There we go.

Look.

Heads.

We buy it.

There you go.

100 pounds.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: On its heads.

It's on my head.

NARRATOR: The sale might be down to Nick, but it looks like the dirty work is being left to poor old Catherine.

What about over here?

Give me a chance to get that.

That's what I said about scratching.

NICK HEWER: Yeah.

Well, that's enamel.

That's there.

But look at that.

That comes off, and that looks lovely.

You see?

Do you want to do some?

My scrubbing days are over.

A bit more elbow grease at the bottom.

You're a real taskmaster, aren't you?

I bet Margaret's not doing this.

I don't think so for a minute.

NARRATOR: Signs scrubbed to Sergeant Hewer's satisfaction, the shopping is complete, and it's off to Sham Castle, overlooking Bath.

The perfect spot for our teams to compare their treasures.

Oh, they've been around scrap metal shops, haven't they?

CATHERINE SOUTHON: You are just horrible, Philip.

So I don't love you anymore.

NARRATOR: Don't fall out now, folks.

Lyons' Tea.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: Did we not finish yet?

It needs [INAUDIBLE] of old paint on it.

Trench art made in the trenches of the Somme.

Oh yes?

We've got more.

More?

I think you probably should have stopped.

We've got an Underground sign.

OK. OK. How much was your Lyons' Tea sign?

How much do you think we would have paid for that?

Fiver.

No.

We'd gone 40 quid for that.

- In that state?

- Yeah.

We'd have gone definitely 40 quid.

That's the tea that makes it genuine.

That's 100 pounds worth of trade.

That's going to go out for maybe 180 pounds.

Is that right?

Right.

OK. And how much was the easel?

The easel was a particularly good buy.

He's deluded.

Rescued from the studio perhaps of Lucian Freud.

We're not absolutely sure about that.

Absolutely, completely deluded.

And the pots and the brushes.

And the pots and the brushes?

Oh, well.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: 65.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: That makes a huge difference.

NARRATOR: Oh, let's see what you've got then, Margaret.

What?

Oh, come along.

Is that it?

NARRATOR: I don't think he's impressed.

PHILIP SERRELL: They were a fiver.

- Why are they wonderful?

- How much did you spend?

They were five pounds.

You said he was mean.

- Parsimonious is the word.

- Mean.

Mean.

- Careful.

- Careful.

- Careful.

- Careful.

- We were careful.

- Careful.

- OK. PHILIP SERRELL: We've got a lovely little etui, silver.

Etui?

- 25.

- Is it an etui-- 25 for it.

Or is it a vesta case?

No, it's not a vesta.

25 P?

PHILIP SERRELL: For 25 pounds.

NICK HEWER: Can I pick this up?

PHILIP SERRELL: Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So this has got-- You said he was mean, mean, mean.

Samuel Pemberton.

Don't break it.

That is beautifully chased.

No, it's lovely.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Look at this.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: Oh, yeah.

We saw that.

PHILIP SERRELL: This is Margaret's lot.

Look.

- This is mine.

A load of old cobblers, this is.

PHILIP SERRELL: And the lovely shoe with it.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Shoe.

was 15, and the poster was 20.

35 quid that was.

You impressed?

Right, come on then.

Interesting NARRATOR: Banter aside, what do they really think of the competition?

What do you reckon?

Mean comes to mind.

Yeah.

It's all a bit quirky, their stuff, isn't it?

Yeah.

I mean, I like quirky, and I like their things.

But if they spent nearly 350, 400 pounds on that lot, I think they've spent a lot of money on things that perhaps I wouldn't have bought for that sort of money.

Tell me we'll win, Catherine.

I'm not that confident now because they spent so little.

I'll never hear the end of it.

Overall, I think we've done OK, you know.

Oh, I hope so.

I'm relying on you.

Come on.

Well done.

You've been top dollar, and I've absolutely thoroughly enjoyed it.

I've enjoyed it too.

Really, really good fun.

It's been fun, and I hope we win.

NARRATOR: Well, we'll soon find out as we're heading for auction.

The teams have taken a 230 miles shopping trip starting in Southampton and motoring towards Cambridge for the big finale.

PHILIP SERRELL: So predictions for the auction.

Oh, I think you'll win, hands down.

Do you?

Yeah.

Because we just went all out and spent everything.

So is Cambridge ready for painted easels and ropey old trunks?

What do you reckon?

Yeah.

I think they are.

I'm not sure Nick will be when he knows the result.

Anyway, here goes.

NARRATOR: Cambridge is home to one of the top 10 universities of the world and is where Margaret herself studied in her youth.

Our teams' treasures will be going under the hammer at Cheffins Auction House, and Charles Ashton will be the man with the gavel.

So what does he make of our celebrities' lots?

CHARLES ASHTON: A place like Cambridge is always full of undergraduate students, collectors, academics, so I'm hoping that something like maybe that little silver case might just appeal to one of the sort of Cambridge collectors.

We were a little bit dubious when we saw the artist easel.

We're possibly a little bit skeptical about its chances, but you never know.

It's an auction.

Anything can happen.

NARRATOR: Nick and Catherine began their road trip with 400 pounds and spent a bold 388 pounds on six lots, while Margaret and Phil spent just 140 pounds, also on a total of 6 lots.

First to the auction are Margaret and Nick.

So get the seats in.

CATHERINE SOUTHON: Oh, you approach in style.

NARRATOR: Catherine and Phil arrive just as the weather takes a turn for the worst.

Let's hope the auction isn't going to be a washout.

Better make a dash for it, Catherine.

Hello, Margaret.

How are you?

How are you?

How are we looking?

Can we all squeeze in?

We can all squeeze in.

You can park that big backside in there somewhere.

We're all squeezing in here.

That's optimistic, that is.

Is it to test this piece of furniture?

NARRATOR: Settle down, chaps.

The auction is about to begin.

Well, it's like going to the pictures, isn't it?

Yes.

NARRATOR: Let's hope it's as entertaining, Nick.

First up are Margaret's MP joke book and alphabet book.

30 pounds [INAUDIBLE].

30 pounds [INAUDIBLE].

Be brave.

25 then.

Come along.

25 Good lord.

Whoo.

Go get in, Margaret.

25 bid.

Now 25 in the room it is.

At 25 bid, now.

25 it is.

25 and 30 to the back.

Then it's 30.

30 bid now, sir?

35.

So 35.

That won't buy it.

35 is on my right.

- He's sunk.

CHARLES ASHTON: [AUCTIONEER CHANT] Trying to hold my jaw up.

CHARLES ASHTON: Rooms out elsewhere at 35 pounds, and I shall sell by the cabinets over here at 35 pounds then.

Whose choice was this?

Mine.

Margaret's.

Well, well done, Margaret.

NARRATOR: Great start to the auction, giving Margaret a healthy lead.

Well, that's a bit of a relief, isn't it?

[INAUDIBLE] right now.

NARRATOR: Next up is Nick's militaria with the trench art vases and his beloved leather swagger stick, but uh-oh.

It's missing from the auction picture.

- Where's the swagger stick?

- Where's the swagger stick?

You're going to start me around about 30 pounds for those to start off, I would have thought.

Put them in, 30 pound, to get on with it.

Thank you, Ray.

A 30.

I'm bidding the room now at 30.

I'm over there.

At 30, I'm bidding now.

30.

30 bid.

- We need more than 30.

At 30.

I'm bidding now at 30 bid.

Now 30.

I'll take the 5 more.

35 is here.

35 and 40 in the room.

Who's bidding for it?

Now 40, 45.

Whoops.

I'm flying around here at the excitement.

45 here.

Bid now 45.

And 50 over there.

Now 50 bid.

Now 50.

In the room it is at 50 [AUCTIONEER CHANT] 50 in the room.

And it ends out at 50 pounds, and I shall sell the-- Bit more.

Bit more.

Come on.

All done then, away there.

Nobody else?

We'll finish at 50 pounds.

Right at 50.

But where's the swagger stick?

If the swagger stick had been in there-- made hundreds.

I thought thousands, Millions, I thought actually, millions.

NARRATOR: Yeah right.

A strong start for Nick too.

We have a competition.

Can I have my swagger stick?

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: No.

PHILIP SERRELL: No.

- No.

You swagger enough.

You don't need a stick.

NARRATOR: Right, you told them.

Time for Margaret's pair of 19th-century illusion glasses.

CHARLES ASHTON: 30 pounds will start me.

25 then.

25 twice over.

25 standing.

I took 25 there.

At 25, bid now 25.

At 30 there.

Bid now 30.

35 sir.

35 bid now.

35 pound.

35. Who else is coming in?

Who can I tempt?

Anybody else at 35 pounds?

All done, then?

Seen enough.

I shall sell then.

God, I feel sick in my stomach.

CHARLES ASHTON: Yours, sir.

More profit for you.

NARRATOR: Much to Nick's disgust, that nice little result pushes Margaret further into the lead.

It's Nick's Aurora gangplank signs next, and he's far from optimistic.

Will you be cross with me, Nick?

I could never be cross with you, Catherine.

I'd be disappointed.

I feel like you're my teacher.

It will say, could do better on your report card.

No.

It would [INAUDIBLE] must do better.

NARRATOR: No pressure then, Catherine.

CHARLES ASHTON: 30 pounds.

30 I'm bid down here.

Thank you.

At 30.

I'm bid now.

30 bid now.

30.

At 30 bid.

At 30.

At 35 now.

35, fresh blood.

35.

And 40.

I'm bid 50.

[INAUDIBLE] 60 in the room, bid now.

60, bid now.

60.

Well done.

[AUCTIONEER CHANT] I knew there was something in it.

NARRATOR: Pants on fire.

Any more interest or anywhere else at 60.

I'm bid at 60.

They're begging over here.

- No, I'm not.

Anyone bid at all?

60 pounds.

Here's your opportunity.

Where are you?

We need you.

The hammer falls then at 60 pounds.

All done then at 60.

Not for lack of trying.

Well, you did OK. OK. We made a tenner.

I could do better.

NARRATOR: Catherine's got to be relieved about that little profit.

I actually can't bear to see it.

Feels like on a date at the cinema.

Excuse me.

NARRATOR: Hands to yourself, Hewer, and pay attention because it's your art nouveau stained glass panel up now.

It's upside down.

NARRATOR: Well, on its side, actually.

--something for that.

30 pounds then.

Little [INAUDIBLE] art nouveau panel.

Glass.

Leaded glass.

20 then, 20 pounds.

20 pounds on my left.

A bid now at 20.

And 5.

At 25.

And 30.

30.

30 pounds.

The bid's behind me now.

At 30 bid then.

She shakes the head.

At 30 bid now.

30 bid.

30.

35, new place.

35.

No, sir.

Thank you.

Hold.

35 bid now.

The bid's online now.

At 35 bid now.

35 it is.

The single panel.

Nobody else tempted at all?

But 35 pounds then.

Sold.

I think it was badly shown there.

PHILIP SERRELL: Doesn't help, does it?

It's the wrong way up.

That didn't help.

NARRATOR: I think even Margaret's starting to feel sorry for Nick.

Not that he's interested.

I don't want you two to fall out over this because you've been friends a long time.

It's a very superficial friendship.

Yes.

Doesn't take much, does it?

NARRATOR: Back to your corners, you two.

As it's time for the next lot, Margaret's Scottish horn snuffbox with the amethyst on top.

I can begin at 20 pound for this.

Already bid now at 20 bid now.

At 20 bid now.

20 bid down.

20.

Anybody else now?

At 25.

At 25 bid now.

25 pounds.

25 to bid now.

At 25.

And 30.

30 bid now.

30.

Now it's your turn to come in.

At 35 bid now.

35 to bid now.

35 it is.

35 pound.

Nobody else want it at all?

At 35, all done then.

40 bid now.

40.

At 40 bid now.

[INAUDIBLE] 40 pounds [INAUDIBLE].

40 pounds, but nevertheless here we are.

We shall sell then away at 40 pounds.

At 40.

NARRATOR: Another tidy profit there for Margaret.

Excellent.

If you'd have seen the work that went into buying that lot, the effort.

The time that it took.

It was like a war of attrition.

Yeah.

NARRATOR: Nick sure needs to do well with his Kentish Town Underground sign.

Come on now, mind the gap.

20, 25, 30 bid to start here.

At 30.

I'm bid now for Kentish Town enamel sign.

At 30.

I'm bid now.

30 bid to start it off.

At 30.

I'm bid now.

30 bid now.

30.

35 over there.

35 and 40.

45.

The bids with me now.

At 50 bid now.

50, with the 50.

Somewhere to go.

At 50 and 60, 70.

At 70 bid now.

70 bid now, 70.

At 70 bid now.

70 bid now.

70.

Where have you all gone now?

The Kentish Town enamel sign at 70 pounds.

Any more or not?

At 70 and 80.

80 bid now.

80.

Another bidder.

80.

I'm bid at 80.

I'm bid at 80.

Somebody very key to Kentish Town supporter's club here.

At 80 pounds and all done then.

I shall sell.

Finished with then.

80.

CHARLES ASHTON: All done then.

A bit more than 80.

That's unlucky, that is.

That is just really unlucky.

- Just-- - Unlucky.

- --not getting it I'm not interested in unlucky.

We're going down here.

NARRATOR: If Lord Sugar was here, you know what he'd be saying, Nick.

I feel that we've been encased in concrete and thrown out of a window.

I think you've increased yourself in concrete and jumped, actually.

NARRATOR: Don't get too cocky, Margaret.

It's your lot next.

The German shoemaker's poster from 1930 and the 19th-century Elm shoe last.

I've got no idea.

Will you tell me, who wants to bid me on these?

- 18 pounds.

- 30 pounds.

A real bygone lot.

30 pounds.

Thank you, Barbara in the corner.

At 30.

I'm in the corner.

30's in now.

30 bid now.

30.

30 I have bid now.

I'll take the five more.

Anybody else coming in?

At 30 pounds.

All done then at 30 pounds then.

NARRATOR: Margaret's first loss, but she's still well out in front of Nick.

Don't let's burst into tears over it.

No.

No.

We're not that upset, actually.

Now I know what you feel like.

Bad luck.

NARRATOR: Now for the artist's double-picture easel with paint pots and brushes, which auctioneer Charles has reservations about, and it looks like Nick does too.

I don't think it's going to do anything-- just got a feeling.

There we are.

Another curiosity lot here.

Curiosity?

Absolutely.

Couldn't say it better myself.

Roll 148 is the artist's easel, complete with the original paint.

I don't see it.

Eight pounds.

CHARLES ASHTON: We don't often get them with the brushes as well, so it's a-- now's your chance.

Anyway, a bit of interest I have to start off at 30, 35, 40, and bid to begin.

At 40.

I'm bid to start off.

At 40 bid now.

At 40 bid.

At 45.

We paid 65.

And 60, 70, 80.

Oh, thank the lord.

Whew.

Knew we had done something with it.

Well done.

Have faith.

110.

120.

Come on.

You were right.

You were right.

Well done.

CHARLES ASHTON: --come all this way, you know.

At 120 pounds.

The bid's a mere 120.

One more might do it.

130.

Back in at-- NARRATOR: Well, who'd have thought it?

Pay attention.

You just romped ahead here.

We've doubled.

We've doubled.

You've romped ahead.

130 I shall sell then.

Right left-handed at 130.

Yes.

Well done, Catherine, well done.

NARRATOR: Thanks to Catherine's smart choice, you're back in the game, Nick.

Just shows actually, Margaret, that I've got no idea about anything, Neither have I.

You are an excellent company, the pair of you.

You are fantastic.

NARRATOR: Time for Margaret's penultimate lot.

The 19th-century Dutch pine trunk that Phil broke [SHUSHING].

Don't tell anyone.

50 pounds.

30.

30 pounds.

30 I'm bid Somebody will bid me at that.

30 I'm bid across the room.

At 30, I'm bid now.

Thank you, Rosemary.

At 30 bid over here.

At 30 bid now.

30.

35, all right.

35, and 40.

40 bid.

40.

45 and 50.

It's climbing.

CHARLES ASHTON: 50 bid now.

50 bid.

50.

Like drawing teeth.

It's like driving a sword into my stomach.

I shall sell then.

Nobody else want it at 50 pounds?

50 pounds it goes.

It's eked a little bit in a profit, hasn't it?

It's eked a bit, but I'd of paid more than that for it.

Its firewood would be worth more than that.

Yeah.

NARRATOR: Not sure about that, Margaret.

But still, a profit's a profit.

Time for Nick's final lot.

The 1950s Lyons' Tea enamel sign.

Bought on the toss of a coin, Nick said this would be on his head, remember?

If I've learned anything in this ramble around England, it's that I'd lose my shirt if I went into this business.

No idea what I'm doing.

100 pound with that.

100.

You tell me.

50 pounds then.

Put me in for 50.

Thank you, Ray.

50 is bid over there.

At 50 I'm bid now.

50 bid now.

50.

At 50 in the bid now.

50 bid now 50.

For the enamel sign.

And 60 online bid now.

60.

And 70 in the room bid now.

At 70.

Bid 70.

At 70 bid now.

70 bid.

70.

Out over here at 80 bid now.

At 80, Graham.

At 80.

90.

Come on, Graham-- whoever Graham is.

90 bid.

90.

90 bid.

Graham, your turn again.

100 bid.

Now 100 is in.

At 100 pounds.

Bid now at 100.

Bid's 100.

Right out over there, Ray.

Thanks, [INAUDIBLE].

Come on, Nick.

Get behind it.

Come on.

I'm behind you.

Come on, Nick.

Well done.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] NICK HEWER: No!

--at 110.

No, he says, With 110 pounds, and all done.

Nobody else?

- Internet?

At 110.

Bid there out, I'm afraid.

Bid 110 pounds.

At 110.

I think it's a good price at 110.

All done.

Bid 110 pounds then.

I think we get more.

You think that's awful?

NARRATOR: So his big gamble paid off.

But it's not over yet for Margaret.

There's still her silver Samuel Pemberton case to go.

50 pound for that.

I'd love that for 50.

Put me in for that.

The case, silver case.

50 [INAUDIBLE].

40.

40.

I'm bid down here at 40.

Thank you.

At 40 on bid now.

40 bid At 40.

At 45 bid now.

45.

At 45.

Bid now 45.

And 50 I have here.

At 50 bid.

Now 50.

Bid at 50.

50 pounds.

It's going to go at 50.

All done then.

Right hand at the back.

Finish then at 50 pounds.

I thought we'd got more than that.

Yeah.

Well, well done.

It sort of deserves to be worth more.

That's really interesting.

Yeah.

NARRATOR: That's very gracious of you, Nick.

Time to find out who is the winner.

Nick and Catherine started with 400 pounds and spent big, blowing almost all of it.

Unfortunately, after auction costs, they made a loss of 6 pounds 70 P. So they end the trip with 393 pounds and 30 P. Margaret and Phil also started with 400 pounds and spent less than half the budget.

A canny move, it turns out, as they made a profit of 56 pounds 80 P, meaning they finish with 456 pounds and 80 P, making them the rightful winners.

All profits will go to Children in Need.

So with that result, it means Nick and Catherine, you're fired.

Oh dear.

It's the end of a beautiful relationship.

It's not a beautiful day.

It's been jolly good fun.

It's been great.

Thank you.

Well done.

Well done, you.

I enjoyed it.

[INAUDIBLE] here.

You drive.

You won.

Righty-o.

Same old story.

NICK HEWER: What breaks my heart is that somebody waltzed off with my swagger stick.

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: I'll buy you one for Christmas.

NICK HEWER: Anyway, good sport, Margaret.

Are we going to do it again?

MARGARET MOUNTFORD: Will they ask us?

NARRATOR: I'm sure you high rollers will be welcome back any old time.

Cheerio.

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