Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

VOICEOVER (VO): The nation's favorite celebrities... Oh, that is good.

VO: ..paired up with an expert...

I like that.

VO: ..and a classic car.

Feeling confident?

Er... VO: Their mission?

To scour Britain for antiques.

(GLASS SMASHES) Look at you.

You're really good!

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

(GASPS) Is it a find?

VO: But it's no easy ride.

XAND VAN TULLEKEN: Hey, come on!

VO: Who will find a hidden gem?

(MIMICS DUCK) Take me with you.

VO: Take the biggest risk?

Have you got a tow truck?

VO: Will anybody follow expert advice?

I might have bought rubbish.

Who knows?

VO: There will be worthy winners... Yay!

Whoo!

VO: ..and valiant losers.

Come on.

Someone else!

Someone!

VO: Put your pedal to the metal!

Aah!

VO: This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

VO: Today's Road Trip stars are already digging their very nice car.

Here we go.

Whoa.

Listen to that.

(ENGINE PURRS) Oh...ho-ho-ho!

VO: Yup, top telly actor Nitin Ganatra and all-round entertainer Les Dennis are living the muscle car dream in this '64 Mustang kitted out with a V8 engine, all-leather trim and those funny American lap seat belts.

We look like two studs right now.

(LES CHUCKLES) We look like two very handsome studs driving a rock and roll car.

LES: Yeah.

But we do need to stop for a wee eventually!

VO: Well, comfort breaks aside, our two acting chums are enjoying the natural beauty of the north west of England.

LES: Wow.

NITIN: Look at this.

LES: Look at that, that's gorgeous, isn't it?

I think we're heading into the Peak District.

NITIN: I'm a city child... LES: Right.

..so I get nervous in the countryside.

I haven't seen a sign... (LES LAUGHS) ..or anything.

LES: No, I haven't seen one for ages.

I haven't seen a coffee shop... LES: No!

NITIN: ..for a long time!

VO: Deep breaths!

We'll be back in built-up areas soon.

London lad Nitin is best known for his role on TV soap EastEnders, being Britain's postman.

But he's had many other roles besides including treading the boards with his travel buddy.

Comedian, actor and game show host, Les first hit our screens way back in the '70s on a TV talent show.

Since then, he's done everything from theater to opera and his own stint in a soap opera.

LES: We've been cooped up in a theater together... NITIN: Yeah.

LES: ..doing a play.

But this is the first time we've been out on the open road together.

How are you feeling about it?

Oh, I'm very excited about this whole experience.

Given the fact that I know nothing about antiques... LES: Yeah.

..and I have to go against you.

And you're not competitive!

NITIN: Not competitive at all!

LES: No!

You know, I say I'm not competitive and then, when there is a competition, I go, "Hang on a minute, I've got a chance of winning this."

Yeah.

VO: Well, you won't be doing it alone.

We've lined up two eager experts with their own fancy motor.

IRITA (IM): What do you think of the car?

DAVID (DH): I love it.

IM: How good a driver are you?

I'm a very good driver, if I do say so myself.

I passed my test at 17, so I've been driving now for 15 years.

And I've never crashed over a cliff.

IM: Ha!

VO: Ha-ha.

First time.

Evergreen David Harper and effervescent Irita Marriott are off in their '68 Volvo P1800 to offer assistance to our celebrities.

The iconic, the one and only - everybody on the planet knows him - Les Dennis.

I know.

Family Fortunes.

That is the first thing that comes in your head.

He was on there for 15 years.

He was.

That is a heck of a long time.

I'm going to be with Nitin.

And he's a painter as well, you know?

IM: Yes.

DH: He is.

And he's only just started selling his work.

So I think we'll have a bit of a bonding there.

Aw!

Two struggling artists together.

Who said he was struggling?

Don't put him in the same box as you!

Oh, maybe just me!

(THEY LAUGH) VO: So, with their help and a tasty �400 budget, it's time to see if the muse is upon our two players.

As performers, we know we can work an audience.

LES: Yeah.

NITIN: But as businessmen... ..that go, "Hey, here's a teacup."

Absolutely.

"I love this teacup."

We can sell ourselves, but can we sell... NITIN: Yeah.

LES: ..a little pewter dog?

Oh, I see.

You let that one out of the bag.

That's what you're looking for.

OK. VO: Sounds like the battle's begun.

On this trip, our two gents will be exploring the antique shops of the northwest of England, ending up in Cheshire at Congleton.

But we start things off in Stockport and this former cotton mill, now home to lots of antiques goodies.

Very handy parking, too.

NITIN: Yeah, I'm excited.

LES: Yeah.

Let's go in and have a look.

If we can work out how to get out of the door.

How does it open?

Let me help you out.

Come on, dear!

Driving Miss Daisy.

NITIN: There we go.

LES: Oops.

LES: Let's go.

NITIN: OK?

Yeah.

That was seamless!

NITIN: Let it begin.

LES: Let it begin.

VO: Well, for the first taste of the biz, you could do worse than The Stockport Vintage Emporium.

Lots of dealers displaying a plethora of lovely things.

There's supposedly a couple of antiques experts in here somewhere as well.

Oh, yes.

IM: Hello there!

LES: Irita!

IM: Yes.

LES: How lovely to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

Do you know anything about antiques?

Nothing, really.

You know, I love browsing and having a look, and I love art nouveau stuff.

IM: OK.

I can tell you what I am getting disturbed by is the eyes.

IM: On the dolly?

Well, there's...there's that and there's clowns.

Clowns are scary.

Les, this is our audience.

LES: Oh, right!

IM: This is your audience.

This is what you're going to have to deal with.

Wahey!

Do you want to go and have a browse around and give me a shout?

You're going to look that way and I'll look that way?

Yeah.

Meet in the middle.

Meet in the middle.

IM: With bargains.

LES: With bargains.

IM: Right.

See you in a bit.

LES: Yeah.

Bye.

More clowns!

VO: You're perfectly safe, Les.

They've got them contained.

Now, has Nitin come across his highly-trained professional yet?

(CLATTERING) Nitin!

(THEY LAUGH) Good timing!

I hope that wasn't expensive.

How are you doing, David?

DH: Alright.

How are you?

NITIN: OK.

This is all a bit overwhelming.

What do you fancy buying?

I don't know.

I mean, I'm really out of my depth here.

Are you?

Do you feel anxious?

NITIN: A little bit.

DH: OK.

I think what we should do is look for objects that you would put into your home.

NITIN: Right.

DH: And then let's see if we can make some money out of them because a good dealer buys what he loves.

OK, and you'll be honest with me if it's a ridiculous idea?

VO: No, he won't hold back, Nitin.

Trust me.

Now, is Les starting to get a feel for the task in hand?

It's really delicate and elegant and the kind of thing I would like to see on a mantelpiece.

VO: Sounds like he's keen.

Shall we consult?

Irita!

(IRITA CHUCKLES) IM: What have you found?

Oh, you're closer than I thought.

LES: Sorry to shout.

IM: It's alright.

LES: I found this.

IM: It's rather nice.

IM: I quite like that.

LES: Do you?

IM: Any damage?

LES: Yeah.

LES: Here at the top.

IM: Alright.

And I don't think it's been glued together very well.

Do you think I should look around first, maybe come back to it?

(WHISPERS) Do you want to win this?

I want to win this.

Maybe pop that down.

I'll pop that down and maybe not come back to it.

OK. VO: Looks like our survey said... (MIMICS FAMILY FORTUNES BUZZER) ..uh-oh!

Back to Nitin.

Anything he's aiming for?

David.

NITIN: Look at this.

DH: What have you got?

Look at this.

Oh, my goodness me!

Now, that is funky.

NITIN: I like this.

DH: I like it!

This is definitely Clint Eastwood.

It's got to be, hasn't it?

That is Dirty Harry.

That is no doubt about it.

VO: No, it's the Man With No Name... or face, apparently.

I don't know why his head is down here.

NITIN: It's a bit weird.

DH: Yeah.

But it feels...it feels like a film set thing.

Is it hand-painted or is it printed?

It's mounted on canvas and it is hand-painted, yes.

It's got to be, hasn't it?

NITIN: So it's an original.

DH: Oh!

I would say that's probably a 1960s piece of art... NITIN: Right.

DH: ..that was made for, I don't know, a circus.

It's original, and it's... �85.

I think it's no money.

But would you have it in your home?

I would, you know.

I really like it.

I'm slightly in love with this.

I'm going to even turn it around so no one can see it.

DH: OK.

I don't want anyone taking it.

Because I think Les would buy that.

NITIN: Sh!

VO: Mum's the word.

Anyway, he's busy elsewhere.

There's something I want to show you.

Yeah.

IM: Now, look at that cabinet.

LES: Mm-hm.

Is there anything in there that would catch your eye?

I just noticed the duck.

Do you want to have a look at that duck?

I will have a look at that duck.

IM: Because that duck... LES: Yeah.

IM: ..is about 1850s... LES: Really?

Oh, wow.

IM: ..1870s.

LES: Very light.

It's a decoy duck that was made to look as realistic as it possibly could.

And they would put them in the ponds to attract the real ducks so they could be caught.

They are unbelievably collectable... LES: Right, OK. IM: ..particularly in America.

What do you think of it?

I'm surprised at how light it is, and... IM: Well, they had to float.

LES: ..it's growing on me.

I'm just going to speak to him, OK?

OK. (MIMICS DUCK) Hello, little duck.

How are you today?

I was not expecting that!

(IRITA LAUGHS) (MIMICS DUCK) Oh, dear.

I hope you feel better very soon.

(IRITA LAUGHS) VO: She's got the giggles.

�90 is the price on that.

(MIMICS DUCK) �90!

That's a lot of money!

Oh, dear me!

VO: I think you may have just broken your expert, Les.

Come on!

(IRITA GIGGLES) VO: That's one definitely in the running.

Elsewhere in the shop, things are a bit more civilized.

DH: Oh, Nitin, please take a seat.

NITIN: Really?

DH: Yes.

Go for it.

Tell me what you think.

Ooh, that's nice.

Surprisingly comfortable.

But it looks very new.

DH: Ah, far from it.

NITIN: Really?

Yeah.

Far from it.

Boardroom chairs or dining chairs...

Right.

..anywhere between 1880 and early 20th century.

NITIN: That's... DH: 100, 120 years.

I don't feel like I should sit on it.

DH: You should.

NITIN: Don't want to damage it.

No, that's the great thing with these things.

They are made to be used and enjoyed because the quality here, this is solid oak, this is English oak.

NITIN: Right.

You can see that lovely grain, very distinctive grain.

They're �50 each.

NITIN: 50 quid?

DH: I know.

Have they...?

No, they haven't made a mistake.

It's just the way the market is.

VO: Seems like a bargain.

Right, ready for a haggle?

DH: Are you a natural?

NITIN: Watch me work.

Oh, I'm looking forward to...

I'm looking forward to this!

NITIN: I'm feeling confident.

VO: You'll just need to find a dealer then.

Ah, now there is Jess.

JESS: Ah.

DH: Hello, Jess.

Hello.

Nice to meet you.

Good to see you.

Jess, this is Nitin.

NITIN: Hi, Jess.

JESS: Hi.

Nitin, over to you.

OK.

Thank you very much.

Jess, there's two chairs.

I think they're oak, leather, black leather, Two chairs, they're �50 each.

So, 100.

We could probably do 85.

(NITIN INHALES) 85?

Yeah, that would be the best.

That would really be the best?

JESS: Yes.

NITIN: That's fine.

JESS: That's a good deal.

That's a good... OK. VO: Now, can you get your other item for a few dollars less?

And it's a big canvas kind of painting, hand-painted thing with Clint Eastwood on it saying "Dead or Alive".

I know exactly what you mean.

NITIN: It's 85.

JESS: It's a fab item that, 85.

NITIN: Yeah.

So, I could probably come down to... ..what do you want to try?

55?

Say 50 and I'd take it.

OK. NITIN: 50?

JESS: Yeah.

You're very good.

Yeah!

There you go!

Deal.

VO: He's a natural.

135 spent, 265 left.

And those chunky items will be sent on.

I like this.

DH: You're good at this.

NITIN: I enjoyed that.

It's a new career for you, this, a new career.

VO: Back inside, Les is still scouring the place.

Now, I saw that little vase, but this is like its bigger brother or sister.

And I like the shape.

You like the shape?

What else do you like about it?

Well...it's beautifully decorated.

There seems to be a story going on.

There's a guy here blowing a horn and there's somebody else here - is that drumming?

'Large Chinese porcelain blue and white vase.

LES: Kanji...?'

IM: Kanxi... LES: Kanxi?

IM: ..period, yeah.

VO: The Emperor of China in the late 1600s.

If this was authentic, they'd be asking a lot more than �95 for it.

IM: It is a later reproduction.

LES: Right.

IM: But in my eyes... LES: Yeah.

IM: ..I really like it.

LES: Do you?

I think that might be a gamble piece.

Are you a gambling man?

I'm a gambling man when I see something I like, yeah.

Well, there's no doubt about it then, we got to buy it.

How are you with haggling?

Would you accept 120 for the two?

Try again.

Would you accept 100 for the two?

I like that.

OK, shall we go for that?

(DEEP VOICE) Hello.

VO: Time to break your duck, Les.

Figuratively speaking, of course.

LES: Hello, Tom.

TOM: Hi, you alright?

Yeah, good, thank you.

This is Donaldina Duck.

And that's Vasey Vase.

(THEY LAUGH) This is going well, isn't it?

Isn't it?

LES: �90 for the duck.

TOM: OK. LES: 95 for the vase.

TOM: OK.

So I make that, with my maths, 100 for the two.

As it's you, how about 120?

110?

Shall we haggle more or shall we say 110?

Let's say... (MIMICS DUCK) 110.

Thank you, Tom.

It's not a problem.

(THEY LAUGH) VO: Brilliant technique, though, Les.

That makes �60 for the vase, 50 for the duck and �290 left over.

IM: Now hold on!

LES: I'm holding on to it.

I'm not letting go.

We do not want to lose that treasure.

We do not.

Thank you for calling me Treasure.

(SHE LAUGHS) VO: Right, you two.

Onto the next.

IM: Go!

VO: And out on the road, our other thespian is also feeling flushed with success.

I really enjoyed it.

I've got to say, I went from, "you are so out of your depth, Nitin, walk away."

Yeah.

And then once I found something, my confidence grew and I haggled.

Yeah, it was very good!

VO: You just need to play the part, Nitin.

Easy for an actor of your caliber.

Most people recognize you from EastEnders, obviously.

It's very flattering that he was a well-loved character.

I still get asked to go back.

I meet people in the street saying, "Oh, we really miss you."

DH: "Come on, Masood."

NITIN: Masood!

Do people shout "Masood" in the street?

NITIN: Yes.

DH: Isn't that amazing?

Yeah, and they still think I'm a postman.

"Have you gone back to being a postman?"

Oh, that is brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

And of course, you were recently awarded Order of the British Empire.

NITIN: Ah, yes.

DH: Tell me about that.

I've got my really posh medal.

You know what?

At the time, I thought it was a mistake.

DH: Did you?

NITIN: Yeah.

Got the wrong bloke!

"It can't be me."

Surely not!

VO: Our honored actor and his expert are making their way to Manchester, heading for Hulme.

They've come to find out about a local hero whose great achievements were not recognized in his lifetime, and to meet the people trying to put that right.

Oh, my goodness, hello.

Hello.

Hello, hello.

Welcome to Moss Side Fire Station Boxing Club.

How you doing?

I'm Nitin.

LAMIN: Nice to meet you.

DH: I'm David.

VO: This activist and boxer Lamin Touray is one of those who are fighting to highlight the achievements of Len Johnson, Manchester's uncrowned boxing champion.

LAMIN: He was born in 1902 to a West African father from Sierra Leone and an Irish Mancunian mother.

So he was mixed race, just like me.

So one day Len got into a fight at work and his dad decided to take him to a boxing gym, and the rest was history.

He had 135 professional fights.

NITIN: Wow!

LAMIN: He won 93.

NITIN: Wow, 93?

LAMIN: Yeah.

Regarded as one of the greatest middleweight boxers of the inter-war years, Len took on and beat many former and current champions over his 13-year career.

But despite his prowess in the ring, there was one fight that he couldn't win.

He wasn't allowed to box for the British title.

So there was a rule in place, a law in place by the British Boxing Board of Control in 1911 and it stated you couldn't box for the British title unless you were born to two white parents.

So he only had non-title bouts.

He did go over to Australia, and he spent six months out there and he fought for the Empire middleweight title, which he won.

But when he came back to Britain, they still refused to recognize that as a title.

Yet he was fighting on behalf of Britain in Australia.

Yes.

The thought of having a black champion to kind of be celebrated and to be lifted up and lauded, it was too much for the British Empire to handle.

VO: Len retired in 1933, disillusioned with the sport that had actively discriminated against him, but his fighting spirit was far from extinguished.

For me, the most inspiring part of his story is what he did after and what he continued to fight for outside of the ring.

And in fact, the pub that you're about to go to now is literally five minutes from here, and that's a really kind of pivotal part of his story.

We'll look forward to that.

DH: Let's go to the pub.

LAMIN: Let's go to the pub.

You don't fancy a few rounds first, do you?

I think I'll leave that to you.

Oh, you see, my back... Yeah, well, I've got my new boots on, my feet are really hurting.

NITIN: Shall we hobble along?

DH: Let's go to the pub.

Nice to meet you.

Thank you very much.

VO: Scaredy cats, eh?

Just down the road is the Old Abbey Taphouse where Len would go for one more round - but not in the ring this time.

And another champion of Len's achievements, historian Dr Shirin Hirsch, picks up the story.

When Len retired from boxing, he was very demoralized and he was inspired by his friend Paul Robeson, who was an amazing black communist, a singer and actor.

And Robeson said to Len, "If you can't fight in the ring, you need to fight against the injustice that stopped you from being a leading boxer."

So Len set up a social club called the New International Society, which was an informal space for black and Asian people, for white people to drink, to socialize, but also to organize politically.

VO: The society campaigned against segregation at Manchester's labor exchange and called attention to inequalities facing black and working class people in the city.

Len himself even stood for election to the city council.

But it was in this pub where his biggest political battle took place.

So Len came here in 1953 and he ordered a round of drinks and the landlord turned Len away and explained that he - they didn't serve what they described as "colored people."

Len returned to the pub with 200 people BOTH: What?!

He organized a huge protest.

He spoke to the bishop, he spoke to the mayor, the councilors, and finally the landlord invites Len in for a drink, and agrees that the color bar is overturned.

VO: It would be another 12 years before racial segregation was banned by law, but Len's actions here were an early blow in the fight for civil rights in the UK.

This was an amazing victory against really institutional racism, and yet Len was very little remembered in Manchester and across Britain until quite recently.

VO: But today his story is finally being heard.

A play about his life has toured schools and there is even talk of a statue in his honor in the city.

And in the pub where he was once barred he's now hailed as a hero.

They now do an annual drink to Len to celebrate that all people can drink in this pub.

There's a great music night called Breaking Bars that happens where local people come and celebrate kind of anti-racist struggles and remember Len.

So he is finally being remembered by the pub and by wider kind of networks in Manchester.

That's quite incredible.

VO: So let's raise a glass in his memory.

Non-alcoholic, of course.

Len was teetotal.

ALL: Cheers.

NITIN: Here's to Len.

Yeah, all the best.

VO: Now, somewhere out in the wilds, our other duo are back on the hunt.

LES: There's a duck.

IM: Oh!

Not ours, I hope!

We could have put our decoy out there and seen if the other one came to see it.

VO: You could have a chat with it, Les.

You know the lingo!

How do you feel after our first shop?

I'm really exhilarated.

Did you enjoy it?

I did enjoy it, yeah.

Walking in, it was quite overwhelming.

I kept thinking, I can't see anything.

Can't see anything.

But with your lovely help, I think we got two items I'm excited about.

VO: Well, you're in luck because there's another retail opportunity just down the road.

They're heading to Levenshulme, on the edge of Manchester, where they'll be taking a toddle around this rather grand old building.

Wow!

Levenshulme Antique Village, used to be council offices.

It's pretty impressive, isn't it?

Big old building.

I think this might take some time.

Yeah.

VO: This place has been selling antiques for over 30 years, so it's no wonder they've managed to amass a fair amount of stuff in here.

Plenty to throw their remaining �290 at.

Let's see what our man can come up with.

IM: What have you spotted?

Well, this little delicate piece of glass.

IM: Can I have a look?

LES: Yeah.

Where would you guess that is from?

I don't know.

Blackpool?

Looks like Blackpool rock.

It does a little, doesn't it?

Italy.

LES: Oh, right.

Is it... IM: Murano.

LES: Oh, it's Murano glass?

IM: Yes, it is.

Now, there's one thing when it comes to porcelain and glass.

Right.

Your eyes can sometimes lie because you can't see everything.

LES: No.

IM: But your hands don't.

Oh, really?

Move your fingers around the edges, around the surfaces, and if there's any chips or cracks, you will feel them.

LES: Right.

IM: If you rub your finger, there's a giant chip right there.

Oh, is there?

Oh, right.

IM: And that kills it.

LES: Does it?

VO: That's a no, then.

But you've learnt a new skill, Les, so that's good.

Now, let's try something else.

LES: Ooh!

Irita.

IM: Yeah?

Now, I love Charles Dickens.

I love A Christmas Carol, and they talk in that about the kettle singing on the hearth.

Now this kettle is singing to me.

(IRITA LAUGHS) IM: That alone sells it to me.

LES: Right.

But you know what else sells it to me?

LES: What?

IM: The style.

The style.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

It's not nouveau, is it?

But it's got those kind of lines that are really kind of delicate and simple.

It is a little bit of art nouveau.

Is it?

It's a bit of a cross with arts and crafts, which was all natural... LES: Arts and crafts, yeah.

..and nouveau.

Is there any marks on it?

Who made it?

Now, what you would really like to see is someone like Christopher Dresser.

OK. Who was that?

Incredible designer, worked for Liberty's.

Oh, right.

His designs were in that period, and this has a little bit of that influence in it.

This says JD&S.

VO: That's James Dixon and Sons of Sheffield.

Dresser did produce designs for the company at one point, so you never know.

And it has an added extra.

IM: Well, that's the burner.

LES: The burner?

That's how you keep it warm.

Of course, yeah.

IM: Isn't that clever?

LES: Yeah, it is.

I like the whole thing.

VO: No price on it, so you'll have to find someone to help.

LES: Geoff?

GEOFF: Can I help you?

Yeah, hello, I'm Les.

This is Irita.

IM: Hello.

LES: We've seen this.

It's 65.

But I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll do it for 60.

60 for that?

But I think it's a good price.

I think it's lovely.

IM: It's singing to you.

LES: It's singing to me.

Let's go for it.

It sang to me when I bought it as well!

VO: Another decisive purchase from Mr Dennis, leaving him with 230 to play with tomorrow.

LES: Come on, then.

IM: Thank you, Geoff.

LES: Thanks, Geoff.

IM: See you later.

VO: Yes, time you sauntered off.

IM: Fancy a cup of tea now?

LES: Yeah.

Come on, I'll make you one.

Do you have milk?

Sugar?

No, just a kettle.

(IRITA LAUGHS) VO: And after a very busy first day, let's get our celebrity and expert pairings safely turned in for the night.

Sorry, Nitin, you've got to go right over, there's a car coming.

NITIN: Right.

DH: Yeah.

NITIN: That's OK!

NITIN: Did you just flinch?

DH: I did a little bit!

No, I did a bit.

Just keep your elbow in!

IM: Are you the kind of person that rests in the evening or would you like to party?

I love to have a nice glass of wine, bit a nice dinner.

Have an early night.

That does me.

What about Nitin?

I like a bit of knitting, yeah!

(THEY LAUGH) VO: You're a naughty man, Les Dennis!

LES: Maybe I can do the voice over.

IM: Well, why don't you try?

(POSH VOICE) Time for some shut-eye!

IM: Night-night, everyone.

LES: Night-night, everyone.

VO: Is that meant to be me?

Flipping cheek!

VO: Next morning in the Mustang and the roof is up.

But unlike the weather, spirits are not dampened.

You're really getting the hang of driving this car, aren't you?

I'm surprised at how quickly I've adapted, yeah.

We've had some hairy moments.

David wasn't as comfortable as you... LES: Oh, right?

NITIN: ..sitting in that seat.

Is he a back-seat driver, then?

NITIN: He was very nervous!

LES: Was he?

VO: Aside from being a bit jumpy, our experts do have other good qualities.

How was it yesterday with Irita?

I had a great time.

She's a laugh and also incredibly knowledgeable.

There was something that I thought, "What about this?"

And she didn't... she let me know!

She'd be like... VO: But when it came to wheeling and dealing, that was all you guys.

Yeah, I enjoyed the haggling.

Yeah, I did.

I had two items.

It was nearly half price, both.

OK!

That makes you practically Indian!

(LES LAUGHS) You can talk in a Welsh accent any time now!

I wouldn't dare!

LES: I went all Scouse.

NITIN: Did you go Scouse?

Went a bit Scouse.

"Eh, lads, what's this worth?"

VO: Now, it would be good to find out what our experts think of their new students, but it looks like they've got other things on their mind.

It wasn't me, David.

I'm sorry, this is erratic Irita driving.

I'm a very good driver, thank you very much.

Well, the car doesn't seem to think so because it won't drive!

I know, but maybe it doesn't like you in it!

DH: Well, it could be that, couldn't it?

Shall we go on an antiques walking trip?

IM: Hey, now, that's a plan!

DH: Shall we do it?

It might take a long time, but shall we start?

Go on, then.

VO: Let's not tell Les just yet.

He's got some items that he wants to share.

Wow!

You bought a duck?

It's more than a duck.

Oh, Les, it's a duck!

It's a decoy duck.

OK, OK.

They're very collectable.

NITIN: Are they collectable?

LES: Particularly in America.

One apparently has sold for 1.2 million.

No!

Les... NITIN: Really?

LES: He's lovely, isn't he?

Americans are into duck hunting, yeah.

And you're going to go "quack, quack!"

Or... (MIMICS DUCK) "kweeeaaak, kweeaaak"!

That's why!

OK. That's why you heard the duck noises yesterday.

I love the fact that you bought things that are invisible!

I couldn't fit them in the car.

Can you describe them to me so I can laugh?

Well, we looked at...

I... (THEY LAUGH) VO: Don't me a meanie, Les.

Yesterday, Nitin blew �135 on a very visible pair of Victorian chairs and a wanted poster you can stick your head through, if you want to.

NITIN: I like this.

DH: I like it!

VO: That leaves him with a nest egg of �265 to play with.

Meanwhile, Les has bought more, forking out �170 on a fancy silverplate teapot, a large Chinese vase, and that web-footed friend, of course.

(MIMICS DUCK) Hello, little duck!

How are you today?

VO: Meaning he still has �230 for today's shopping.

The gauntlet is down, the match is on.

OK, so should we head on to the next one?

LES: Yeah.

NITIN: Yeah?

The gauntlet.

VO: Later, all those goodies of theirs will be heading off to auction in Bourne, Lincolnshire.

But we start today en route to Poynton in Cheshire.

And having left Les in a lay-by, Nitin has picked up a hitchhiker who's keen to get the skinny on their rivals.

I must admit, I'm a little nervous that he's got a bargain in his hands.

Oh, right.

OK. (THEY LAUGH) Not competitive!

I'm not competitive!

No, no, not at all!

Just want to win, that's all.

VO: Don't worry, Nitin, you'll have another chance to find that duck-beating item at your next destination.

NITIN: I'm keeping my mind open.

DH: Do.

Oh, art AND antiques.

VO: Yes, Colourfield should be right up your street.

In you go.

NITIN: Hello.

DH: Hi, there.

NITIN: Hi, I'm Nitin.

ED: Hi, Nitin, I'm Ed.

Hello, Ed.

David.

Nice to see you.

ED: Nice to meet you, guys.

DH: Wow, funky shop!

Yeah, we try our best.

VO: They do indeed.

One enormous cabinet full to bursting with lots of tiny treasures.

DH: Wowzah!

NITIN: Look at this.

This is exciting.

VO: And if they tire of that, our two artists can always check out the paintings on the other side of the room.

But antiques first, please.

There's so much going on here.

I wouldn't...

There's so many things I don't know what they do.

DH: And many things I don't quite understand either, which is very exciting and stimulating for me.

Little cooking pot for the elves!

VO: Feeling overwhelmed?

Perhaps a change of ends might get the creative juices flowing.

NITIN: I like this.

DH: What's this?

NITIN: This is a shell.

DH: Yeah?

Which just unfastens.

That's really sweet, isn't it?

So it's been made into a little mini purse, I suppose.

Yeah.

Somebody has taken a found shell, polished it, and then made by hand a mount in something that is a gold color.

But the big question is, first of all, how much is it?

NITIN: �30.

DH: �30, OK. That probably answers the next question, is it gold?

VO: Probably not at that price.

I can't imagine there being another one of these.

There isn't one.

It's a handmade thing.

So I would date that to no later than the early part of the 20th century, when this idea of taking things from nature and making them into useful, practical, beautiful things sort of died out.

You're finding good things, Nitin, very good things.

VO: He is.

Can he do it again?

David?

DH: Oh, OK. NITIN: Oh!

Oh, hello, have you broken it?

Have you broken it?!

Well, it came.... Oh, hang on.

NITIN: Oh, this is quite weird.

DH: Oh!

It comes apart.

You definitely know what that is.

This is Ganesh.

Every Hindu household will have this, that's in their shrine.

Yes.

He's called the Remover of Obstacles.

DH: Interesting.

NITIN: Yeah.

DH: So, like a problem solver?

NITIN: Yeah.

And especially with businessmen, Ganesh is very important.

You know, removes obstacles and brings you good fortune.

DH: OK.

I like it.

NITIN: And stuff like that.

The thing is, I see a lot of these.

Right.

But I've never seen one that comes apart and I don't know why.

He's a traveling Ganesh.

I would suggest that that was once originally owned by a businessman, a traveling businessman in India, and as he packed up his wares, he would dismantle Ganesh.

And then when he stayed in his next hotel, he would put him together and make up his shrine.

Yeah.

VO: That's priced up at �125.

The chances of that piece being sold to a Hindu to use it in their home temple is highly remote.

Yeah.

It will go into a secular home as just a piece of sculpture.

NITIN: Yeah.

DH: How does that make you feel?

DH: Is that OK?

NITIN: It's OK.

It kind of tends to lose its significance.

This is it.

Is he still doing his job by going into that home?

I've got to say, if he's the Bringer of Good Fortune... DH: He's right up our street.

..if he gets sold for a good price, he's done his job!

Well, that's a very good point!

VO: He could even influence a deal right now.

We'd better get Ed back in.

A good rummage, then?

Yeah, yeah.

Amazing stuff.

But I found a couple of things I really like.

ED: OK. NITIN: This Ganesh.

Yeah, the traveling shrine.

NITIN: It's 125.

ED: OK. You're not going to get an Indian paying for that!

(THEY LAUGH) ED: OK!

NITIN: Give me a realistic... A realistic price for you, and this is a one-off price, 75.

NITIN: 75?

ED: How about that?

Why don't we just square that off?

70?

What else have you got?

I've got this little beauty.

ED: The shell case, yeah.

NITIN: Yeah.

It's very delicate.

I like it because it's pretty.

But it is �30.

How about we go for 15, then?

NITIN: 15?

ED: 15.

DH: And 70?

Yeah, let's do it.

95.

NITIN: Done.

DH: I think that's 85!

Oh, my maths is out!

That's how he does it!

I was doing really well!

And then I went, "OK, I'll do it!"

VO: Right.

Just to be clear, the deal is 85 for the two items.

See you guys again.

Cheers, then.

Thank you.

DH: Get yourself a lie down, Ed!

ED: I will.

Leaving Nitin with 180 still in the tank.

Wahey!

Happy?

I'm happy with these, yeah.

Good buys.

Nice buys.

VO: Now, what about our car-less couple?

Well, as luck would have it, they've managed to procure an alternative ride.

LES: I loved the Volvo.

IM: Yeah?

But this is a real classic, isn't it?

Wow.

VO: The 1960s Jaguar E-Type.

Yeah, you could do worse!

IM: It's rather luxurious!

LES: It is.

Look at those tiny little windscreen wipers!

Aren't they gorgeous?

Do you think this is an upgrade, then?

LES: I think it is.

IM: I think so.

I think it is.

VO: But enough of the car.

Let's learn a little about Les.

What's the most exciting thing you have ever done in your career?

Oh, gosh, I've done so many things.

But I mean, I love getting out on a stage, live in front of an audience.

I remember going to see Me And My Girl with Robert Lindsay in it and thinking, "I want to do that."

And then I eventually got to do it.

And I remember being... tap dancing on a table in Me And My Girl and looking down into the audience and remembering myself, sitting there, watching.

And every time I do a stage show, it's just the most exciting thing to do.

VO: Well, where we're off to next should be a real treat for our West End star.

The spa town of Buxton in the Derbyshire Peaks.

They're here to meet Jonathan Thompson who's in charge of running this grand old building.

JONATHAN (JT): Hi.

LES: Hiya.

JT: Welcome to Buxton.

LES: Lovely to be here.

And welcome to the Buxton Opera House.

What a lovely, beautiful theater, isn't it?

It really is.

And we've been here since 1903.

Would you like to come in and have a look?

IM: Yes, please.

LES: That would be great.

VO: This Edwardian opera house was designed by Frank Matcham, the most prolific and celebrated theater architect of the late 19th and early 20th century.

Still boasting many of its original features, Buxton is one of only a handful of his theatres that still exist today.

IM: Oh, wow.

LES: Wow.

IM: Isn't it beautiful?

LES: Yeah.

But what else would you expect from a Frank Matcham theater?

JT: Absolutely.

Frank Matcham was just an incredible, incredible architect.

And he had about 120 theatres throughout the country.

I've worked a few of them!

Absolutely.

And not all of them survived, so we are so grateful that this beautiful building here in the center of Buxton has survived for all of these years.

VO: Matcham's ground-breaking designs were aimed at giving the best theatre-going experiences possible.

He devised cantilevered steel balconies that didn't need pillars to support them, allowing for unobstructed views.

And what he did so brilliantly was acoustics.

The acoustics in here are absolutely incredible and we're quite an intimate space.

JT: So we've got 903 seats.

LES: Right.

So whether you're sat on the front row of the stalls or the back row of the gallery, you get a perfect view of our beautiful stage.

And also you can hear everything in this beautiful auditorium.

And Irita, you're in one of the posh seats.

I know!

You are the VIPs of the Opera House today!

VO: But because of the rigid class structure of the Edwardian era, when this place first opened, not all the patrons were treated so kindly.

As you came through our main front doors, that would have been the upper class patrons that were coming to see the shows.

What about the rest of the people?

So there's five different entrances to get into the different areas.

IM: No!

JT: Absolutely.

So the people in the, shall we call them the cheaper seats, as they were referred to in the olden days, would've been sent through a totally separate door to get into the theater.

So they wouldn't get to see that beautiful foyer?

Absolutely.

Even though they'd paid for their tickets?

Absolutely.

VO: Thankfully, things are a lot more egalitarian today.

The Opera House plays host to a couple of annual international festivals and has outreach programs to get the arts out into local communities.

And it's all made possible by the army of friendly volunteers who help run the place.

But there's someone else in the theater who's not quite as welcoming.

I've not actually seen the ghost myself.

However, I do know that when we're locking up the theater at the night-time, there are a few strange noises that we are hearing around the building.

I always make sure that I've got somebody with me.

I'm never here on my own at night.

Les, what do you think?

Should we go and search?

See can we find the ghost?

You go first!

Why, are you scared?

Just a little bit!

VO: Courage, Les!

It'll give you an excuse to nose around the areas that the public don't normally see.

LES: Oh, I can sense something spooky!

(SPOOKY MUSIC) Getting real chills!

(HE SHRIEKS) (IRINA GIGGLES) Is that the ghost?

No, it's just me!

What are you doing?

I'm testing this incredible fly system.

Do you want to come and have a look?

Alright.

I'll join you.

IM: Come on!

LES: Exit stage left!

VO: The space above the stage is called the flies, as bits of scenery for a performance get flown in and out from there for scene changes.

It's all controlled from the fly floor.

And what makes this unique is that it's the same as when the theater first opened over a century ago.

And it's where the man in charge of all the technical stuff, Jim Morgan, likes to hang out.

What do you call these?

JIM: So these are line sets and it's just a rope over a pulley at the top.

So the most that we can haul on here is 100 kilos.

But because there's nothing helping you, that's just the guys lifting 100 kilos.

So, for a big show, how many guys would you need up here?

You could well have five or six, perhaps seven or eight up here.

If you're ever backstage like we are now, no whistling!

IM: Why?

LES: Well, Jim'll tell you.

So, this is 120 years old.

The guys that did it would have been sailors.

So they'd communicate on the boats by whistling to each other.

And so it goes that you don't whistle on stage, you might end up with something on your head.

Yeah.

Yeah.

VO: And there's another theater superstition that Jim can shed light on.

Back in the days of variety, you'd have people waiting hopefully to get their turn on stage.

But you wouldn't be paid until you'd made it on stage.

The cloths that go this way are borders, the cloths that go this way are legs.

If the audience can see you passing the leg, you've broken the leg, you'll get paid that night.

And is that where the saying comes from?

Break a leg.

That's why it's good luck.

Yeah!

VO: Well, I never knew that.

Funny bunch, these theater folk.

Meanwhile, our men in the Mustang are off to the final shop of the trip.

NITIN: You know, the great thing about this experience is that I'd never been in an antique shop.

You'd never been in an antique shop?

NITIN: No.

DH: That's fantastic.

But you weren't fazed by it.

Once I just started enjoying it... Yeah.

..then things started to come to me, as opposed to me going, "What about this?

What about this?"

I started becoming a treasure hunter.

DH: You were a treasure hunter!

NITIN: Yeah!

VO: Sounds like someone's caught the bug!

Their last chance to shop will be in Congleton in Cheshire, at the Victoria Mill Antiques Centre.

DH: You lead the way, I'll follow you.

In here?

DH: That's the way.

NITIN: Let's go!

VO: Another big old mill building.

They used to make ribbons here at one time, now repurposed to house lots of lovely things all spread across three floors.

Let's see if Nitin's new-found treasure hunting skills serve him well in here.

(CLATTERING) VO: He definitely learnt that from David.

With �180 left and their rivals on the way, they'd better get busy!

David?

DH: You like a bit of the old exotic, don't you?

I like them.

Do you like them?

I kind of like them, yeah.

What about bookends, you know, on book shelves?

They could be that.

I think they're temple pieces.

The fellow with the fabulous moustache looks a little like a mandarin.

Right.

But they're not particularly rare things.

Yeah, maybe you're right because I have seen stuff like this before.

Good things, but I think for buying and selling, making money, they're not that unusual.

Well, we're here to win!

DH: Exactly.

NITIN: OK. Let's go and find something that might make us some money.

NITIN: I'm walking away.

DH: Walk away!

DH: You do it well.

VO: Now, out and about in the E-Type, the other two are having a quick performance appraisal.

You've been amazing!

You've got a natural eye at it.

LES: Oh, good.

IM: You really have.

You have really guided me.

You know, if I've seen something, you've told me what you think and whether it's going to do it or not.

And that's helped.

IM: Too honest sometimes, maybe.

LES: No.

"Put it down, Les!"

"Put it down!"

VO: Well, let's see if that teamwork can help them again as they arrive at the mill.

It's alright, I can walk to the kerb from here!

(IRITA LAUGHS) Come on!

VO: They still have �230 in hand, but arriving late to the party means they're slightly on the back foot.

Wow.

Another floor!

More amazing stuff.

VO: Mind you, it doesn't look like Nitin's made much progress.

(SNORING) Oh, isn't that cute?

VO: It's all been too much for him!

(RATTLE SHAKES) Oh!

(LES LAUGHS) LES: Hello, mate!

NITIN: OK. You were right out, then!

NITIN: How's it going?

LES: Yeah, good.

Good.

I mean, this place is wonderful, isn't it?

I know.

You know what?

There's so much stuff here, you have to have a break.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hence why you needed a sleep!

How much money you got left?

Erm... NITIN: Or should I not ask?

LES: A bit.

What about you?

Have you spent all yours?

I'm not telling you!

(THEY LAUGH) OK, well, I'm going to have a look around.

Yes.

I'm going to just... LES: Go back to sleep?

NITIN: Rest my eyes.

Yeah, go on, then.

Good luck.

VO: It's a good job someone's doing some work around here, eh, Irita?

You look excited.

Quite pleased with yourself.

Well, look that way.

Ooh!

IM: Pick that one up.

LES: OK. And see how that makes you feel.

Wow, that's heavy.

IM: That's because it's bronze.

LES: Right.

IM: On a slate base.

LES: Yeah.

Maybe I need my glasses on for this.

Moreau.

Sounds impressive.

VO: That'll be Auguste Moreau, who came from a dynasty of French bronze sculptors in the mid to late 1800s.

Very collectable.

IM: And they are copied very, very widely.

So, we could have found copies?

I don't think they are.

The quality is there.

Everything about them to me... Yeah?

Suggests they're real?

Yes.

VO: Yeah.

The �300 price tag would seem to agree.

If you like these and if you would want to have a go, we need to ask him what is his death?

LES: His death?

IM: Your face!

So when he's dead, we can get them?

We just rob them!

No, that is what you say when you want to know what is their absolute rock bottom price.

Oh, OK. VO: So much still to learn, Les!

Now, refreshed from his power nap, Nitin's back on the case.

Or cabinet, to be precise.

NITIN: David?

DH: Yeah.

Look at this.

Now, this is a Victorian rattle with a whistle and bells.

DH: Yeah.

NITIN: Mother of pearl handle.

DH: Isn't that cool?

NITIN: 1834.

Now, you see, this caught my eye because I've never seen anything like it.

I mean, that's incredibly posh.

NITIN: It's expensive.

DH: How much?

It's 175.

It's what they make.

But there aren't very many collectors of these novelty children's rattles any more.

So, for me, it's not that exciting.

OK. VO: Looks like they're drawing a blank in here.

Unlike Les, who seems to be finding lots of things.

Oh, nice cocktail shaker.

Looks kind of deco.

Ah.

VO: I think his keen antiques eye has spotted something.

LES: Irita?

IM: Yeah?

You know, we've just been to an opera house?

IM: Mm.

LES: What about these?

VO: Opera glasses.

Very appropriate.

They are lovely, aren't they?

And they look quite old.

Now, is there any writing on inside of the rims?

I'll have to put these on to check that.

IM: That's where usually the important bit is.

Do they by any chance say Paris?

IM: Because that's... LES: They do say Paris.

The mother of pearl opera glasses are usually Paris marked.

I'm not enjoying the show!

Going to check on you!

IM: That's what people did!

LES: Absolutely!

It is what people did.

I mean, this is a bit of... Have a look at the roof again because that's beautiful.

LES: Cherubs.

IM: How much are they?

The price is �48, I think.

I don't think that's bad.

That's good, isn't it?

They're meant to be, I think.

(HE SINGS NOTE) VO: Blimey, good pipes, Les!

Grab your cherubs on the way to the dealer, and let's see if he's singing the same tune!

LES: Hello, Ken?

KEN: Oh, hello, Les.

Hi, how are you doing?

Fine, thank you.

You found something, by the look of it.

We have.

We love these Moreau vases, so we're interested in those.

But we've also seen a pair of opera glasses.

Oh, yes, in the cabinet.

Yeah.

What would be your best price on the opera glasses, do you think?

KEN: We could do 40 on those.

LES: 40.

OK. What would be your... and apparently I'm not insulting you.

..what would be your "death" on the vases?

VO: Priced up at 300, don't forget.

The absolute death on the Moreau pair would be 150.

150, and 40.

That's 190.

KEN: 190.

LES: 190.

You're smiling at me.

Definitely!

That is a deal.

IM: Thank you.

LES: Thank you very much.

IM: Thank you so much.

LES: Lovely.

VO: Yes, very generous discounts there, Ken!

80, 100.

Start the car!

VO: And with �40 left, that's his shopping spree done.

IM: Thank you.

KEN: Thank you.

VO: And for Nitin also.

Nothing he fancies in here, so he's going to stick at four items and have �180 left over.

So, that was great, but I'm exhausted!

Are you?

I know.

I am really exhausted by the whole experience.

We've shopped till we dropped.

Well, I've had a good time.

I've had a fantastic time.

I'm so glad we did this together.

I know.

I've really enjoyed it.

Yeah, thank you.

I didn't know who you were before, but it's been... (THEY LAUGH) VO: Well, only one thing to do now.

Take everything you bought and go sell it all.

NITIN: Ready?

LES: Yes.

All clicked in and ready to go.

LES: Watch my car!

NITIN: Mine's better!

VO: But first, as Les would say, time for shut-eye!

VO: It's auction viewing day and for our two acting chums, opening night nerves are kicking in.

I'm looking forward to seeing how we do.

Well, I'm not sure about mine.

I'm having buyer's remorse.

I just have low expectations of myself right now.

Which has been a kind of a through line in my life.

This show's like therapy for you, then!

VO: Well, the show must go on, as they say.

And after shopping in and around Manchester, we're heading way down south towards Bracknell in Berkshire and East Hampstead Park, a very grand Victorian mansion where a retinue of antiques advisers are waiting to receive their guests.

Oh, magnificent!

Arriving in style or what?

DH: Wow.

LES: There you go.

Is this your house?

Yeah, yeah.

Welcome!

Come on, I'll make you a nice cup of tea!

Come on, let's go.

Are you ready for this?

We are ready!

We're all very excited about it.

VO: Meanwhile, all their items have been whisked away to Bourne in Lincolnshire at the saleroom of Golding, Young and Mawer, where bidders are standing by in the room, on the phones, and on the net.

And selling them all, auctioneer Craig Buick.

We sell, away at �45.

VO: Les parted with �360 on five auction lots.

Let's find out Craig's faves.

The favorite item is probably the James Dixon teapot.

I think it's got a good look to it and there's a slight Christopher Dresser link to it, so I think that you've probably got a good chance with that one.

VO: Nitin spent �220 on four lots.

What do you reckon, Craig?

The Clint Eastwood dead or alive sign, I don't think you'll see many down Bourne High Street.

It's an unusual thing.

Quirky, unusual sells.

So I'll have a bit of fun with it.

VO: Right, tablets at the ready.

It's time for Curtain Up!

Do you feel anxious?

I'm a little nervous.

Excited!

I feel excited about it.

VO: Well, let's begin.

And Les' duck is first under the hammer.

There's some that have gone for millions.

You see, this is the bit that baffles me.

It has been worth every penny of it, just for that!

(MIMICS DUCK) Worth every penny of it.

(THEY LAUGH) �100 for a start.

Comes in at 100.

�100.

50, then.

We've got 30 bid, on commission.

Oh, 30!

�30 bid.

Two anywhere now?

At 32, 35 bid, 38.

40's bid.

At 42, 45 bid.

Come on!

At �45 anywhere now?

At �45 bid.

DH: Ooh!

CRAIG: At �45 anywhere?

At �45, bid, at 45.

Still on the commission at 45.

We sell, away at �45.

IM: That's so cheap!

DH: 45.

DH: Wow!

LES: Oh ho-ho!

VO: There are million pound duck decoys, and that wasn't one of them.

(AS DUCK) Oh, dear!

(THEY LAUGH) I don't even know what you said there, and I don't think we should know what you said!

VO: Nitin's first item, the travel shrine.

Will Ganesh be smiling on his endeavors?

He's the bringer of luck and fortune and remover of obstacles.

Right up our street!

That's what we need right now.

We really do!

We all need that right now!

�80 to start.

�80.

20 bid, at 20.

Ouch!

How do you go from 80 to 20?!

22 bid.

Online at 22.

Five anywhere now?

At �22 bid.

At �22 now, selling it.

Oh, dear.

If you're all sure at �22.

No interest in the room.

At �22.

I don't think...

I don't know what to say.

I'm speechless.

I can't finish the sentence.

I think it's wrong what he just did!

VO: Perhaps he was removing obstacles on behalf of the bidder!

(MOCK SOBBING) It's OK.

It's alright.

NITIN: It's a learning curve.

DH: Yeah.

VO: The auctioneer's favorite now, the silver plated teapot.

Let's hope it sings to someone else.

�80 for it.

80 for the start.

Who wants it?

�80.

80.

�80 for it.

50, then.

50.

It's going down!

50.

We've got 20 bid here.

Oh!

25, 28.

�30 bid here, at �30 bid.

CRAIG: At 32 bid.

LES: Come on, come on!

Up!

At �35.

Keep going!

Don't stop!

At �42.

Oh!

�42.

DH: Bad luck, bad luck.

VO: Sadly, that went a little off the boil.

IM: But you loved it.

LES: I loved it!

But I haven't got it!

(THEY LAUGH) I sold it at a loss!

VO: Up next, Nitin's very sturdy Victorian chairs.

Shall we say �80 to the start?

80. Who wants them at �80?

DH: Wow.

CRAIG: 80.

We've got 50 bid, five bid.

60's bid, at �60.

At �60 bid, on the commission.

Takes my commission.

CRAIG: At �60.

DH: Wow!

At �60 bid.

65 bid, at �65.

Come on!

What's going on?

65, 70 anywhere?

At �65 bid, 70 anywhere?

70's bid.

Come on!

At �75, are you quite sure?

For the two, not each!

CRAIG: At �75, you quite sure?

DH: Wow.

At �75.

NITIN: �75!

DH: �75.

VO: On the plus side, it was nearly a profit.

There you go.

Welcome to the world of antiques!

Oh, my goodness.

No wonder we never have any money!

It's a good job I haggled, right?!

VO: Now, can Les' big Chinese pot break this losing streak?

I have to say, my palms are sweaty.

I had never seen one like that.

David has handled hundreds of Chinese objects, and he had never seen one like that.

IM: Who knows?

LES: Yeah, who knows?

It's one of those.

My palms are going now!

�50 for it.

Good big vase, that.

�50.

Don't tell me they haven't got �50.

CRAIG: �30?

IM: No!

30.

20's bid.

Two's bid.

25.

28 bid.

No, no.

It could still go.

That is a joke.

Have you seen the size of it?!

�38 bid.

40 anywhere?

At �38.

Go on!

Keep going.

We'll sell it at �38.

IM: That's a joke.

DH: Ouch!

At �38.

40.

40's bid.

Oh, hang on!

I'm not getting excited about 40.

That is ridiculous.

Going up.

It's going up.

If you're all sure and done at �42.

You're quite sure?

At 45.

Oh, we're back in!

48's bid.

At 48.

We will sell this time at �48.

VO: Well, it hung in bravely there, but it was not to be.

DH: Oh!

That is what you call a disappointment.

(THEY LAUGH) VO: Nitin's favorite find is next.

Will this be good, bad or ugly?

But the great thing with this is nobody knows what it's worth.

There isn't another example to compare it with.

�50 for the start.

Wanted, dead or alive.

�50.

DH: Go on.

CRAIG: �50.

30.

NITIN: What?!

CRAIG: �30?

Anybody want it?

20.

DH: Oh!

NITIN: What are you doing, man?

20 bid, at 20.

�20 bid.

NITIN: It's hand painted!

CRAIG: �20 bid.

CRAIG: Two anywhere?

NITIN: Come on!

At �20 bid.

No!

At �20, quite sure?

It's just not our day today, is it?

No!

At �20.

Oh!

VO: Ugly it is!

Not what you call a fistful of dollars.

I didn't think that was going to happen.

I secretly thought that might make �200.

VO: Time to find out if Les and Irita's cherub vases can bring in a heavenly result.

I personally thought �150 was a bargain.

Right.

It just depends whether the right person sees them.

Where do we start?

Is there �100 to start them?

100.

�80 on commission.

Oh, they got a bid.

It's �80 on the commission, at �80 bid on commission, at 80.

DH: Oh!

IM: Come on!

Commission bid takes it.

CRAIG: Maiden commission.

IM: No!

That's shocking!

Good pair of figures for 80.

Are quite sure?

All done at �80.

DH: Oh!

IM: What?!

DH: Ouch!

VO: And they had such high hopes for those.

Somebody had a bargain.

NITIN: Yeah.

DH: Well, there you go.

Bad for us, lucky for them.

DH: Yeah, well.

VO: Nitin's final lot, his brass mounted purse.

Someone is going to shell out on this, surely!

�30 for the lot.

30.

DH: Go on!

CRAIG: �30 to start.

CRAIG: Anybody want it?

20.

DH: Oh!

�20.

Bid at 20, at �20.

IM: 20's bid!

DH: Come on!

At �20.

Come on, give us the profit!

Maiden bid at 20, at �20.

CRAIG: We'll sell.

DH: No, don't!

�20.

DH: Well!

IM: Well... VO: Do my eyes deceive me or do we have our first profit?

I mean, this is quite intense for me right now, I think!

VO: Let's see if Les can do the same with his last lot, his opera glasses.

I've got 15, 18, 20, 22.

He's actually got bids!

At �28, my commission at �28.

Bids all done at 28?

At 28.

LES: Aw!

CRAIG: At �28.

I'm disappointed, but then I've been disappointed by all my losses!

VO: It's been one of those auctions, I'm afraid.

Well, I'll tell you what, Nitin, I would do it again.

I'm up for it.

I've really enjoyed it.

LES: Yeah.

NITIN: Really enjoyed it.

And it's been worth all the losses!

(THEY LAUGH) VO: And if anyone wants to know, Les and Irita started with �400, and after saleroom fees, they ended up with �239.26.

Nothing else to say.

But Nitin and David, who started with the same amount, lost the least.

After auction costs, they have �292.34.

So they take all the applause today.

LES: Are you driving?

NITIN: I'm driving.

OK, here we go.

NITIN: They were great.

LES: Loved them.

Bye, you two!

NITIN: Ready?

LES: Yeah.

Home, James!

Wah-ha!

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