PBS American Portrait

-These are your stories, about what it's like to grow up and grow older right now.

-Each of us are affected in our own different ways, and I just find that interesting.

-I'm 94, and I lived through a lot.

-Follow a teenager anxious to get her life back on track.

-I need friends.

-A middle-aged woman struggling to support her family.

-The main thing that I'm doing is trying to stay ahead of the game.

-An 80-year-old seizing her moment.

-What do I have to lose?

-And stories filmed by people like you, from age 13 to 102 on "Generation Nation: A PBS American Portrait Story."

-PBS's "American Portrait"... -...is a national storytelling project... -...where everyone in America is invited... -...to share their stories... -...to understand different perspectives... -...to really give a complete and total picture of who we are... -...in a way media has never connected us before.

-And all you need to do is fill in the blank.

-"My American dream is..." -"I was raised to believe..." -"A day's work is..." -"At this point in my life..." -At this point in my life... -At this point in my life... -I'm 13.

-I'm 14 years old.

-I'm 16 years old.

-I'm 17 years old -I am looking for new ways to grow and expand.

-I'm 21 years old.

-At the young age of 22... -A lot of things are very uncertain.

-And so far, I'm just keeping an optimistic outlook on life.

-I'm in my mid-30s.

I feel a lot of pressure.

-In my early 40s.

-At age 47.

-I'm defined by uncertainty.

-I'm now 50.

-I'm 54 years old.

-I feel like everything's been leading me here.

-I will be 63 years old.

-I am 65 years old.

-I'm comfortable in my own skin.

-I'm now 70 years old.

-I'm 75.

-I feel that I am approaching my apex.

-I just turned 80.

-I'm 87 years old.

-I have learned each day is so precious.

-I'm 90 years old.

-I am so thankful for the friends I've had and being with my family.

Those were all good and happy times.

-At this point in my life, I am 15 years old.

I am a sophomore in high school.

And I just really want to go back to school.

[ Razor motor whirring ] Oh, that's -- Okay.

[ Both laugh ] -There you go.

-Oh, my God.

Hello.

-Arwyn, I like your new haircut.

-Thank you.

-Wow.

Turn around.

Let me see.

-Oh, whoa.

-Wow!

-I didn't notice.

I like it.

-We're having a lot of interesting conversation today about just the range of what schooling looks like for people and parents.

-Yeah.

It's interesting 'cause I'm having those exact conversations but with the kids.

-Right.

-Most of my life, I have really, really liked school.

My computer.

Here's my workbook.

And then, the pandemic hit.

Okay.

And I just -- I didn't do as well.

I didn't make good grades.

Which bowl do you want?

Which color?

At home, I had to watch my little sister, so I missed about half of my classes.

Tickle these arms!

Not doing well in school and struggling with school.

I feel like a failure.

'Cause, like, it's my job right now.

I'm 15.

I'm in high school.

It's my job to be good at school.

-So, we were calling to chat about school, which is going to be starting soon.

How you feeling about a space over there to work?

-Yeah.

So, we were talking about rearranging my room, so that half of my room would be set up for my room purposes and half of my room would be set up for school purposes.

God, I'm scared for online school.

I'm so scared.

-You can also potentially rely on us.

-Right, but y'all work.

It feels so scary.

[ Sighs ] It's like I don't know what's going to happen, and I don't know what it's going to be like.

Yeah, okay.

-At this point in my life, I'm still confused.

But I think that's normal for a 13-year-old girl that's still growing.

-At this point in my life, I'm about to start ninth grade.

-I'm about to turn 17.

-I haven't been able to see my friends for months.

-I'm feeling very isolated.

-It's really super easy to get overwhelmed.

-But I believe that we can overcome it because we still have our lives to live.

-So many of us, myself included, have matured just in this year alone.

-I am more aware and driven than I've ever been before.

-I'm more confident and stronger, I guess, as a person.

-I'm just trying to figure out who I am and who I want to be.

-And what is waiting for me outside the comfort of my parents.

-And it's a little unsettling, because I'm 16, and I've lived a very sheltered life.

But I'm not ignorant.

I know what's going on.

It's just I didn't know how much was going on.

And it's a little scary.

-Eleanor Roosevelt has a quote that says, "Beautiful young people are an accident of nature.

Beautiful old people are works of art."

-Happy birthday.

-Oh, thank you.

I'm a photographer, and I'm about to turn 80.

[ Cork pops ] -Whoo!

-This is one of the best times of my life.

-Even at 80, you see, you're still sucking on bones.

-[ Laughing ] -We've lived through many years of experiences, perspective, learning from mistakes we've made.

And that's a beautiful thing about getting old.

This one's called "Embrace."

That's what I've wanted to capture in my photos.

Step to your left just a little so you get in the center.

Yeah.

I started photographing at age 32 or 33.

When I grew up, it was expected that you get married and have children.

I had one foot in the photo world and one foot in mothering, and I... That was the way it was.

Ever since I started photographing, I have wanted to be published in a major publication, such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, publications that reach millions of people.

I'm starting to climb out from under my rock and giving myself the push.

Also, turning 80 in a couple weeks, it's like, "What difference does it make?

What do I have to lose?"

-Right.

-Right.

So, we have that to look forward to, with many happy returns.

-Whose returns?

-Mine.

-Oh.

-Yours too.

-Well, here's to your returns.

-And yours.

-Yes.

-[ Chuckles ] -And getting your stuff in.

-Yes.

-To The New York Times.

-Right.

-As a middle-aged woman, I feel like, right now, that I'm up in the air, as far as my life.

Usually, most middle-aged people are -- their homes are paid for.

They're about to head into retirement.

Their life is on track.

With me, I'm 51 years old.

I'm unemployed.

And I'm just trying to stay ahead of the game.

[ Chuckles ] Okay.

I'm going to get ready to finish prepping the rest of this dinner while my daughter makes jokes.

-Hello.

-[ Laughs ] I love being a parent.

I love answering questions, giving them advice, giving them encouragement, telling them my little pearls of wisdom that I learned.

And I always say, "I love being your mom and thank you so much for coming out of my birth canal."

[ Laughs ] -My son, he's autistic.

You see my -- You see my critic.

You happy about me cooking?

Yeah.

You happy about me cooking?

My son also has hyperactivity disorder.

I was afraid that if he had a episode where he was hyper and he was running, and, like, what if the cops see him acting this way?

And I was afraid that the cops was going to shoot him.

So, thank goodness that we found the medication that will help him very much.

So, we have to pay for our health insurance and all of that.

Before the pandemic, I was working two jobs.

I was a bartender, and I was a housekeeper.

I lost my jobs in March, and it was quite a blow.

If you was a young person, it would be okay.

Everything is a possibility.

You're willing to try new things.

You're not worrying about the risk involved or what you might lose.

And you're not going gray.

So now I'm living off of unemployment.

Something's going to have to be sacrificed.

It's just going to be a long road.

A scary road.

-At this point in my life... -As a 19-year-old, going on 20-year-old... -I am 22 years old.

-I can feel the growing responsibilities and expectations.

-I want to explore new places, make new friends.

-And explore different things so that I can be more independent.

-When you hit your 20s, you're expected to figure out so much so fast.

-And the coronavirus is making that so difficult.

-I find myself speaking to you from my childhood bedroom.

-I'm not where I thought I'd be after spending a lot of money on college.

-I have found myself needing to be resilient in the face of hardship.

-And you know what?

I'm not going to let this situation stop me.

-I'm really just trying to be grateful for what I have and hopeful for this generation and people my age to make a change.

-My generation and myself are in a position of power where we can share information and really generate the change that we want.

-So, at this point in my life, it's tough, but I'm tougher.

-At this point in my life, I'm restless, but I'm ready.

-It's totally fine.

It's fine.

-If the phone falls, it's not my fault.

-No, it's definitely my fault.

Um...

I'm going back to school in a few weeks.

-I know you are.

I told you it was going to fall.

-It's fine.

It's fine.

I'll just hold it.

-I told you.

I told you.

-It's fine!

-Oh, my God.

-It's fine.

Good freaking news!

I don't have to watch Vivian while I do school this year.

That's already been decided that I'm not going to have to do that.

-But where is she going to go?

-They're going to do the -- Mommy wakes up at 5:00 a.m. and starts working.

It's going to be great.

Hopefully.

Maybe it'll be great.

Whatever.

We're being optimistic.

-All right.

Why don't we clear off that shelf?

-Yes.

And we need to get that shelf, and we'll just, like, move it over here.

-So, what's the goal here?

-[ Laughs ] I like it a lot.

Got that bookshelf entirely set up right there by my bed, but I actually really like it, 'cause I also move the other bookshelf next to it so it's, like, totally sectioned off now, and I can't see my bed at all -- or my desk and, like, work area at all.

So it's all really nice, and...

I don't know.

Today was a good day.

School's soon.

Exactly one week, which is really scary.

But it's okay.

I'll figure it out, I guess.

-You want to tell us a little bit about what you want to get out of today's critique?

-What I want out of this is, you know, how do I get it in The New York Times?

How do I get it in Time and Newsweek?

-Your work is so good that I have no doubt that it will get published.

-So, the procedure is that I e-mail them, and you have addresses and all that, so I could get it from you.

Yeah.

-Why don't you write your e-mail up.

Do you use Google Docs?

-No.

-Do you know how to put your photographs into a PDF document?

-I can find out.

-Okay.

-Well, I really appreciate your help.

I just find it goes beyond the normal, so thank you, Judy.

Yay!

Something's going to click.

I am going to get this work published.

-Welcome to this warmup workout.

The goal is get you all warmed up for your lower-body workout.

-Make Atrayu his breakfast 'cause I know he's going to go cuckoo for Coco Pops.

[ Chuckles ] Here you go.

Don't forget to take -- Oh.

Yeah, put that in your mouth.

Take that medicine, boy.

When I lost my job in March, we could continue to receive our health insurance, but we would have to pay for it.

God Lord, I don't even know how much I even have in my account.

I'm scared to put it down.

Do I have it to pay?

Okay.

Let me see.

So, I have $400, and I have to pay $132.64 for the medical.

So, I really don't want to, but I need the medical.

If I don't have that coverage, what am I going to do?

What if something happens?

It feels like if you have insurance, like, it'll -- It's the thing between life or death.

I don't even want to click pay.

Pay.

Yes, a success for you.

[ Sighs ] -So, I did it, and I paid my insurance and I just feel like I'm holding on to some of my pride.

-At this point in my life... -...being in the middle of my 30s... early, late 30s... -I'm not just worrying about myself anymore.

-I am navigating being a first-time mom.

-I'm tired all the time.

-I've made some commitments that are beyond myself.

-This is on track to be my most difficult and rewarding year.

-So now, here I am.

Gonna be turning 40.

-My workload has seemingly increased, but my demands at home have increased, too.

-I'm teaching online.

I'm homeschooling our five kids.

Not the time to be silly right now.

-Most of my days can be spent just putting out fires.

-12-hour shift.

It pays the bills, and it takes care of my home, but I am not living to the fullest.

-At this point in my life... -I'm 48 years old.

-I'm feeling overwhelmed.

-Taking care of my parents, who are in their 70s... -It's just been quite a lot.

-At this point in my life... -I'm now 52, almost 53.

-I'm just trying to keep things as normal as I can.

-And thoughts about if I have done enough and if I'm being successful and if I can do this.

-And I start going, "Oh, my goodness.

I got this, this, this, this, this I need to accomplish now."

-Inside of me, I feel like I'm as young as -- No, I don't feel as young, but I feel vital still.

I feel like I have a lot to add to the world, but I don't understand the Internet.

Never have.

I understand enough.

I can do my e-mails, and I can do my photographs.

I'm a digital photographer now.

But I feel so stupid and so old when I don't understand the main means of communication.

I didn't grow up with a cellphone in my hand.

It's like I'm learning it, and that makes me embarrassed.

And when I'm talking to younger people, I just feel like running away, because...I'm not stupid.

I'm an intelligent, knowledgeable woman.

It's -- It's part of getting old, and it's part of learning to live with what you have, but it's frustrating, and, um...

I'll get there.

-Um...

I realized something the other day.

This is the longest I've been not going to school since I was like 2.

It's been like six months since I've hugged any of my friends.

It's hard.

I don't know.

Being outside gives you a chance to think about things.

Like the fact that you're lonely and depressed.

[ Sighs ] But isn't my whole generation lonely and depressed?

In order to not feel alone, I need people my age, and I don't have them.

All right.

That's it, I guess.

-Being unemployed at 51 is pretty scary.

I had a nightmare last night.

I was in the building, and it was full of tigers and they were tearing up everybody and ripping them to shreds and everything.

And I had to get me and my kids out of this building without the tigers, the hungry tigers, getting us and ripping us apart.

I said, "I'm gonna just have to fight the tiger."

And my body, mentally and physically, was prepared to do that, and then I woke up.

I guess it was just my inner fears coming to me, personified in a dream.

It's that we're really in a tiger territory, like, where everybody's hungry.

These bills and everything is coming up against us, and will our family be safe?

Will we survive this house full of tigers and will me and my kids remain intact and come out okay?

-At this point in my life... -Entering my fifth, sixth decade.

Oh, my God.

-I'm 60 1/2 years old.

-I don't even have anybody that I'm responsible for but me.

-Who and what gets my time, energy, and effort is for me to reevaluate and say, "Hey, is it worth it?"

-It's more about taking time to smell the roses.

-And let my overly burdened shoulders drop off all the should-dos and must-dos.

-And now, I'm at a point in my life where I want to check things off my list, too.

-[ Speaks Spanish ] -Excited to be here and looking forward to what the day brings.

-So, at the age of 67, going on 68...

I'm thriving.

-I'm pushing 77 years young.

-I feel like I have several more chapters to go.

-It's been an amazing ride.

Let's see what happens next.

-[ Sniffles, breathes deeply ] It's like, I don't know, 3:00, 4:00 a.m.

I had a nightmare, and I failed all my classes, and everyone hated me, and I had no idea what was going on, and, yeah.

[ Sniffles ] It's like this looming thing that everything has been leading up to, and...

I just don't know if I can do it, you know?

I just woke up, but I have to get up and go shower and stuff.

Good morning.

-Good morning.

-First class, there's something wrong.

We love this.

I just got done with my first day of school.

Good.

It was not as bad as I expected.

I don't have a clue.

It kind of helped me feel less lonely because, like, at least I was sort of talking to people and interacting, you know?

I guess I'll miss like actual interaction, but it did help some.

And I think this year is gonna be okay.

Think it's, like, actually gonna be okay.

-Time to get up.

Protesting time.

The difference between my younger self and my older self now is that I like the older self.

I like the older me.

I can dress the way I want.

I can do what I want.

But also, too, it gives you a strength on how to speak up for yourself and how to fight for yourself.

-Mom, I love you so much, and I'm proud for what you're doing.

-Ready for the protest.

Mwah.

With the pandemic, with the unemployment, we were getting an extra $600.

We won't have that.

And that's all I want to say is that I need the $600.

-We need our $600.

We need it now.

-We worked for it.

We pay for it.

Give us our $600.

And that's another reason why I'm the old-lady protester.

Because this is my opportunity to do something that I didn't do when I was young -- stand up.

It's a fine day for a protest.

-It's nine days after I sent the letters to the editors, and I've heard from three.

And all three of them were not interested.

You know, this is the time when I would crawl under my rock and hide.

But I don't want to do that anymore.

-This I had the highest.

I want to make it high and then print.

So, I came in to check my e-mails today.

I did get a very nice e-mail from the de Young.

That's a museum here in San Francisco.

I submitted two pieces, and I got one in.

And it's this one that's part of my taking pictures of older people.

It's a validation.

A bigger validation.

I'm just so thrilled.

- Happy birthday to you -I feel like I have a lot more years to go.

I hope so.

-At this point in my life... -I am trying to love people and help people to love one another.

-At this point of my life... -I'm 93.

-[ Speaks Italian ] -There was one more thing I want to see before I die.

Everyone coming together, being peaceful, and just enjoying the good life.

-And may you have a wonderful, beautiful life like I've had.

-You should be part... -...of PBS "American Portrait"... -Because you're a part of America -And Americans need to listen to each other.

-And you can join by going to pbs.org/americanportrait.

-You don't have to wait till someone else sends you the link.

You can be proactive and do it yourself.