All Creatures Great and Small

TRISTAN: He has commandeered my bed.

It was mine before.

There's a reptile on the prowl.

Give you two the chance to get to know each other better, won't it?

The training's as dangerous as the real thing.

Certainly felt that way when my crew was shot down.

You never said.

I didn't want to frighten you.

CARMODY: In spite of everything, I rather enjoyed our escapade.

(chuckles) I do like it when the house is full.

SIEGFRIED: So do I.

Morning, Mr. Endleby!

How do.

Morning.

Good morning-- these are for you.

(speaks softly) Good morning.

Morning.

Come on, we're gonna be late.

And when I told her I don't know where I'm going... (conversations continue in background) (knocking on window) CARMODY: I'll get it.

(doorknob rattling) POSTWOMAN: Morning.

Parcel for you, Mr. Carmody.

CARMODY: Thank you so much.

POSTWOMAN: Bye.

(door closes) (barks) (rattles) Well, well, Hamish, what have we got here?

Bet you can smell it, can't you?

What is this, then?

(gasps) It's porridge.

Very nice.

Can you guess what this is?

(box rattles) Aha!

Droppings.

In the post?

Yeah-- it's our new preventative measures.

Modern, isn't it?

Yes, Carmody thought of it.

We test for conditions before animals develop symptoms.

(Jimmy cooing) Notice anything?

Oi!

Uh, the size of pellets-- pygmy goats?

On the Grantley Estate-- it's quite the menagerie up there.

Might quickly pop these under the microscope.

Oh, I'll join you.

Oh, Mr. Farnon, I were about to serve breakfast.

SIEGFRIED: Don't worry, this won't take a moment.

Oh, I'll have his.

(groans) Blooming cold.

(sniffles) Huh.

Bad news, is it?

Worms?

Plenty of eggs in here.

Roundworm, I'd say.

Hmm-- we're low on piperazine.

New stock arrived yesterday.

Ah.

Yes, the infestation is advanced.

Better get up to the Grantley place pronto before it gets out of hand.

Thankfully we're onto it before they've exhibited symptoms.

Yes, bravo.

MRS. HALL (calling): On table!

We can see if that new worming gun delivers as expected.

Let's hope.

(chuckles) Morning!

(softly): Morning.

Blimey, James, you look the worse for wear.

HELEN: Enjoy your lie-in?

Tristan took me drinking last night.

In Ilkley.

SIEGFRIED: Oh, that den of iniquity.

Ooh.

Feeling wretched, are we?

Aye.

Aw, did you have a fun night at the pub?

You poor, poor man.

You need to mend this-- today.

Absolutely-- I'll see to it.

But first, sustenance.

Sustenance.

(snorting, Jimmy giggling) HELEN: Ooh.

(James chuckles) (Jimmy babbling) (chuckles) (Jimmy moans) First this, I reckon.

JAMES: Mrs. H, you're a godsend.

I'm down for morning surgery, aren't I?

SIEGFRIED: Mm-- oh, don't fret, enjoy your breakfast.

You have nine minutes.

(groans) Legendary night, old chap.

Set the bar high.

Can we beat it tonight?

Dammit, we'll try.

JAMES: Tonight?

TRISTAN: Yeah, drinks with the Otley Cricket 11.

Hoping they'll let me play a game.

I'm not hearing hesitation there, am I, copilot?

This is vital work for the war effort.

I expect my brain will be reassembled by this evening.

Good.

Didn't you have a lecture to prepare?

Mmm.

A lecture?

TRISTAN: In Doncaster tomorrow.

Getting the recruits ready for the North African front.

Just adding some final touches today.

What's it on?

Mule hydration in desert conditions.

Sounds a bit dry.

(all chuckle) TRISTAN: Thanks.

I think you've just given me my first line.

I thought you were just finishing it off.

Oh, don't worry-- it's all up here.

Just a case of letting it flow out onto the page.

You're popular this morning, Mr. Carmody.

HELEN: Don't keep us in suspense.

What type of poo did you get this time?

Mmm, looks official.

Royal Veterinary College.

But, but that's your exam results.

Chop, chop, man, open it!

And?

Says here I got a distinction.

Oh, Richard!

(others exclaiming, sighing) SIEGFRIED: Bravo.

Apparently, the outstanding distinction in the year.

Well done, old chap.

Well done, Mr. Carmody.

That's incredible.

I never thought I'd see the day someone bested me at exams.

(others chuckle) That is tremendous news-- might I see?

Thank you.

I think I need to take a moment.

The second he's center of attention, the boy runs a mile.

Wonder what his plans are now.

He's qualified.

If we're keeping him here, we'll have to formally offer him a job.

Well, we couldn't do any better.

I take it you've no objection.

Aye, he just about passes muster.

(Tristan chuckles) It's a pleasure working alongside him.

Finally, a scientific brain and veterinary intelligence that matches my own.

Oh, don't mind me, Siegfried.

(sighs) Don't mind me.

(doorbell rings) (Tristan chuckles) SIEGFRIED: Door!

(doorbell ringing) (clears throat) SIEGFRIED: Door!

(James speaks softly, Jimmy coos) (door opens) DORIS: Mr. Carmody, isn't it?

CARMODY: Mm.

(door closes) DORIS: You fixed up Candy, didn't you?

Jenny's horse.

(stammering): Yes, I-- Richard.

Yes, the horse.

Candy is a horse.

Lovely morning.

I like the sun, um, and the blue, blue sky.

Important factors that make up a lovely morning.

(chuckling): You're not wrong there.

Please, um, Mr. Herriot will see you in a moment.

Take a seat, Doris.

Be with you shortly.

(door closes) Goodness.

What are you doing?

(gasps) (ferret chirping) SIEGFRIED: That land girl-- her name escapes me.

I'm surprised you'd forget.

Such a beautiful, musical name.

Doris.

Quite.

When she's near, I exhibit certain symptoms.

My heart rate goes up, my pupils dilate.

Mr. Farnon, my diagnosis is that I'm developing romantic feelings for Doris.

That would also be my diagnosis.

It may surprise you to know, but I haven't had a great deal of experience in this area.

That is surprising.

So I badly need some advice.

Lucky Tristan's on hand.

You could always ask me.

I happen to be an expert in affairs of the heart.

Really?

(door closes) It's just I've been here 18 months.

I don't think I've once seen you with a woman.

(engine starts) Well, only because there's a war on.

Richard, you can trust me on this one.

I know what I'm talking about.

(gear shifts) Very kind offer.

And if Tristan omits anything, I'll be sure to pick up with you.

(gear shifts) JAMES: Magnificent animal!

What have you been feeding him?

David's not even my biggest.

Got yourself a Goliath, have you?

(both laugh) Happen I have.

Our new rat catchers.

Danby's got me training eight of them now.

(inhales sharply) Looks like they enjoy the taste of fingers.

I haven't got the measure of them yet.

Hmm.

Is it bad?

I reckon he must have snagged himself on a piece of wire or summat.

It were your first ratting, weren't it, David?

(David squeaks) It's fairly deep, unfortunately.

Is he healthy otherwise?

Seems to be.

I'll remove any dirt and debris.

And then we'll operate.

Operate?

Is he gonna be all right?

Oh, yes, it's a simple enough procedure.

Though I will have to sedate him.

I'll do it after morning surgery.

But Mr. Danby expects me back.

You're to leave him here.

Pick him up later in the afternoon?

Right you are.

(door opens) HELEN: Oh!

(door closes) (jingling) Yes!

(Jimmy laughing) You grab it.

Oh, Doris.

Mrs. Herriot.

Hello there, you.

(chuckles) Ooh, what happened to you?

Oh, one of me new ferrets.

He's in for an operation.

Oh, James'll see him right.

Well, Mr. Danby doesn't like to be kept waiting.

Ta-ta.

Our Jenny mentioned you have a few snags with Danby.

Oh-- no.

No, he... (sighs): Well, he's not the easiest.

Shall we fix this up?

Have a brew while we're at it.

Thanks, Mrs. Herriot.

It's Helen.

(Tristan inhales) (mumbles) Hm.

What?

Helps me think.

(groaning) (sighs): All right.

SIEGFRIED: I'm curious about something.

CARMODY: Please.

SIEGFRIED: I was under the impression that receiving the outstanding distinction in your year put one in line for the Warner's Prize.

Oh?

Yes, a... A research program at, uh, Imperial London.

So, has that been discontinued?

Actually, it's not discontinued.

They offered it to me.

(tires squealing softly) (engine stops) You got it?

But that's splendid!

What an incredible honor!

But that must've been in your letter.

Why on Earth would you keep it under your hat?

Because... Much as I'd love to spend my time researching, I can't possibly accept.

Why not?

I've heard soldiers' stories firsthand.

I'm not fighting-- at least I should be serving.

Vets are vital to the war effort.

You... Me off having a jolly in a lab while everyone else is suffering?

No.

I'd feel like some kind of libertine.

Well, I...

In fact, now I'm qualified, I rather hoped I might stay on at Skeldale.

You're saying you're turning down the Warner's to stay here?

Of course, when the war's won, you may wish for a new veterinary team, that's understood.

Richard, you're in.

(laughing): There's nothing I'd like more.

(engine starts) (brake engages) GRANTLEY: I'm in here!

(car door closes) CARMODY: Miss Grantley.

GRANTLEY: Mr. Carmody.

CARMODY: How are those goats of yours faring?

GRANTLEY: Well, they're, they're in fine spirits, I'd say.

I was surprised by your call.

What's so urgent?

Roundworm.

Oh.

Don't worry.

Thanks to our new postal pellet system, we were onto it before your herd suffer any consequences.

(sighing): Oh, that's marvelous, thank you.

No, thank you.

Believe it or not, you're the only client who agreed to post me feces.

(chuckles evenly) Uh, this is Mr. Farnon.

(chuckles) (laughs) Catherine Grantley.

Siegfried Farnon.

How do you do?

How do you do?

I was up here before for your brother's beagles.

Um, he mentioned you lived abroad.

Persia.

The war took him to London, uh, so I'm taking care of the estate while he's gone.

Right, follow me.

(dogs barking) (speaking Farsi) (dogs barking) SIEGFRIED: I thought it was the brother who was looking after the estate.

Why didn't you tell me it was the sister who was running things?

Brother, sister, what difference does it make?

Well, it's just highly unprofessional not to give me the full information.

Is it?

(goats bleating) (cooing) DORIS: He just can't see past the fact I'm a girl who grew up in a big city.

Sounds like Danby, all right.

(sighs) The old man's set in his ways.

MRS. HALL: You mustn't take it to heart.

I'm not scared of farm work, but when I ask Mr. Danby for advice, the man just grunts.

I'm forever sprinting to Heston to ask Jenny.

(Jimmy babbling) Luckily, I know how to interpret the Danby grunts.

Turns out there's only three kinds.

There's one like this.

(inhales, groans) That means, "Stop, stop, you're doing it wrong!"

(grunts) "Work faster, will ya?"

Number three.

(gives low grunt) "Carry on, while I have an afternoon nap."

(laughs) Sometimes till dinnertime.

HELEN: Well, I know you don't mind a bit of graft.

I do not.

You know, there's plenty folk, you throw 'em in at the deep end like that, they'd just drown.

Still, it wouldn't hurt Danby to give Doris clear instructions.

(squealing) Oh.

And that means, "I need me nappy changing."

(Helen sighs, Jimmy coos) (car horn honking) (shouting): Watch where you're going!

(tires squeal, horns honk) (car horn honking) (knocking on window) Mrs. Hall, we have a situation.

(door closes) (duck quacks) (dog barking) A situation?

Summat dropped on Mr. Hampson's top field last night.

(softly): An unidentified object.

(aloud): Sorry, do you mean a bomb?

Shh!

(dog barking) (softly): Someone hears us, panic will spread through Darrowby like wildfire.

Careless talk costs lives.

But if it's a...

Shouldn't we call in the Home Guard?

No-- that's just it.

Protocol demands that we wardens make the initial assessment.

In fact, I was halfway there when I remembered.

Section 15, rule 5B of the handbook.

Two wardens must be present to confirm any sighting.

(sighs): I'll grab me coat.

Mrs. Hall, think, think, think.

It's official business.

A uniform is mandatory.

Well, shouldn't we just get there as fast as possible?

Why don't I grab me helmet?

Uh... Well, then, I...

I suppose I'll change.

Yes, I'll be outside.

Luckily, I managed to commandeer a vehicle.

Hey-up, Mr. Bosworth!

Doris, from up Mr. Danby's.

You wanted me to paint all his cows.

It stuck in my memory for some reason.

Ah, yes, I remember.

And where's that lovely dog of yours today?

(clicks tongue) (voice trembling): I'm afraid dear Bingo has departed this world.

Oh.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Mrs. Hall, I'll be outside.

Bless him.

Poor man took it hard.

Though he did drive us half-mad that day.

(door opens) (door closes) Acting like a bit of paint on cows was gonna make Mr. Hitler turn his tanks round.

Oh, well, see?

Silver linings.

All your employer does is grunt.

(laughs): Small mercies.

(goats bleating) There you are, all done.

Looks like you chaps are making progress.

CARMODY: Indeed we are.

And our new worming gun is working a treat.

(Grantley laughs) Oh, uh... SIEGFRIED: You know, I'm intrigued-- why Persia?

Miss Grantley's an archaeologist.

Yes, I, I lived there for, um, well, over 20 years or more.

Really.

But unfortunately, Iran's shah is rather taken with our Nazi opponents, so I had to stop digging.

Yeah, the war demands sacrifices from us all.

Yes, eh...

Yes, it does.

Well, that about does it.

Only the two little ones under the tree.

(chuckling): Oh, these are my favorites.

They're brothers, you know.

Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjstr.

Oh, I'm honored.

The goats who pull Thor's chariots, no less.

You know your Norse mythology.

A little.

(both chuckle) (speaking Farsi) They're hyper-sensitive.

(goat bleats, Grantley coos) SIEGFRIED: Skin crawling, is it?

Magnesium deficiency?

They're being supplemented.

These two have been itching something rotten.

I've heard horror stories about roundworm.

Well, that's just it-- roundworm wouldn't make them itch.

(bleats loudly) (Grantley coos) So we have a comorbidity.

(bleating loudly) Two illnesses presenting at the same time.

It's something of a mystery.

Lice?

A mystery?

Don't worry, we're not talking the lost treasure of Darius.

(both chuckle) We'll soon have an answer for you.

(speaks Farsi) (bleats softly) What?

That's it.

Lice?

No, you.

Your pupils have dilated.

You were blushing, mirroring her actions.

You're attracted to Miss Grantley.

Oh, for God's sake.

The symptoms never lie.

Yes, and that's why you were annoyed I didn't mention that the owner was female.

You wished to prime your feathers in readiness.

Don't be absurd-- give me that.

(Hamish whines) You're a hard taskmaster.

(sighs) Just five minutes.

All right, lad, here we go.

Here we go, there you are.

There you are, lad.

TRISTAN (panting): And it's Hedley Verity.

Hedley Verity from the Kirkstall Lane end.

(laughing) (David screeches) JAMES: Tristan, what the... Oh, I thought you just might want a little interruption.

No, I would not.

Now I've lost the blasted ferret.

(Tristan groans) Shut the door, will you?

He'll end up hunting Volonel.

(door closes) Bloody hell, James!

Why didn't you keep a nice firm hold of it, man?

I'm busy!

Perfectly understand.

(David squeaking) (door closes) Ah.

That's it, lad, that's it, that's it.

There we are.

There we go, lad.

TRISTAN (knocking on window): James.

I've set the stumps up in the yard for when you are finished.

(brakes squeaking, people talking in background) (engine stops) (gate closes) Oh, goodness me.

I specifically warned Mr. Hampson not to talk.

Some folk.

They hear there might be a bomb, they rush to get close.

Mrs. Hall, please, not the B word.

Remember, careless talk costs lives.

(shouting): Stand well back!

HAMPSON: It's over there.

BOSWORTH: Get out!

(whistle blows) The head warden is here!

The head warden is in charge!

I am in charge.

I am in charge-- move back.

(sheep bleating) Move back, move well back!

Right.

(groans) Bloody... MRS. HALL: There.

Do you see it?

There's a trail.

Yes, an impact trail.

So we follow it.

Proceed with extreme caution, Mrs. Hall.

Mr. Bosworth, say we do find a bomb... (splutters): In the event of a positive assessment, we phone from Hampson's and report to the District Report Center.

So it's not lice.

Where do we go from here?

Damned puzzle is what it is.

(snaps fingers) Why aren't they with the others?

Come on, they've been under that tree the whole time we've been here.

Golly.

You've figured it out, haven't you?

(chuckling) Well, it's a lovely sunny day.

Suggests some reaction to the hot weather.

Heat stress?

Then why the itching?

Or light.

Oh, I know where you're going with this.

Wait.

(chuckles) St. John's wort.

SIEGFRIED: I think the brothers have been munching on it.

And now they don't want to go out into the sun.

It's made them photosensitive.

They don't want to risk getting sunburned.

Splendid, well done, Mr. Farnon.

Ah, tush, you'd have put it together before long.

GRANTLEY: Good news?

I was about to offer you some coffee.

Mr. Farnon's just solved it.

Oh?

He's such an accomplished vet.

(chuckles) All in all, he's clever, dependable, the kindest of men.

And not currently in a pair-bond.

(chuckling): Come on, come on.

BOSWORTH: Stay alert, Mrs. Hall.

Proceed with caution.

Ah.

(grunting) (strains) (ducks quacking) (Bosworth yelps) Bloody hell.

(quacking) (panting) Mrs. Hall, we only need to identify it.

That's not a bomb.

That's a flight crate.

No, don't.

Don't-- it, it might be munitions.

We don't know what's inside.

Oh, well, we do, actually.

(chuckles) Tinned potatoes.

Powdered eggs.

Flour, toothbrushes, paste, soap.

So, someone could've landed here.

Nazi spies.

Well, do Nazis use Pears soap?

And Gibbs SR toothpaste?

No.

No, this will have come from one of our planes.

We'll probably find they've had a call about another one further down the road.

Mr. Herriot says it's common.

When fuel runs low, they dump the excess weight.

Mmm, it's one possibility amongst many.

And since, Mrs. Hall, you are not yourself an expert on spies or bombs... Shh-- careless talk.

(stammering) I would simply advise that you resist jumping to conclusions.

You may be risking innocent lives.

(sighs) SIEGFRIED: Listen, Carmody.

That was bloody embarrassing.

What the hell were you thinking?

But you like her, so why wouldn't I help?

A pair-bond?

Humans are like swans and foxes.

They generally thrive in pair-bonds.

Carmody, this is far from your area of expertise.

Very far.

There's a, a pace at which these things are done, a subtlety.

Sorry.

It's just, you looked like you might be succumbing to fight or flight.

Raised anxiety because you're overwhelmed by your attraction to her.

I know what it means.

Richard, I am perfectly capable with women.

(loudly): Perfectly capable.

(softly): Oh... (goats bleating) Just get these two inside, out of the sunlight.

Coffee's ready for you both.

Thank you, Miss Grantley.

Thank you, Miss Grantley.

(Jimmy babbling) (piece drops) Blasted thing hate me so much?

Oh, dear.

Bye-bye!

Bye-bye, little man.

Bye-bye.

Hold on, where are you going?

I promised I'd pull up Dot Fawcett's radishes.

Good luck.

Ah, there he is.

My errant batsman.

Mind if I borrow him for 30 minutes?

Want to see if he can spot my googly.

Try me at the weekend.

I tell you what, I'll help.

We finish in double time-- time you save... (snaps): ...you bat.

I've got Jimmy for an hour, and then I'm back in surgery.

Siegfried's got a much better screwdriver than that-- two seconds.

(Jimmy babbling) It's not enough that we're back out drinking again tonight?

How on Earth did I end up looking after Tristan on top of everything else?

The night calls, Jimmy teething, up all hours... Do you know, it's not that complicated.

You just tell Tris you're staying in.

If he's redeployed, he might not be back forever.

He'll need some happy memories.

Tristan's had enough drunken nights to last a lifetime.

(chuckles) Talk to him.

Cheerio, Helen.

Here we are, old boy.

(imitates airplane) (Jimmy giggling) Now, let's show your daddy how it's done, all right?

Pass it here.

No... (exhales) In the left.

Watch and learn.

(piece falls) (Jimmy cries out) (babbles) BOSWORTH: I shall make my report to the District Report Center from the Hampsons' property.

Not a word to these bystanders.

Oh, they mustn't hear about the tinned potatoes.

Head office may wish to make further identification.

What, so now you're going to call out the Home Guard?

To identify a bar of soap?

It's important to dot the Is and cross the Ts, that's all.

You're not still thinking it's enemy spies?

Nobody parachuted off that plane.

We can't say for certain.

What's got into you?

Anybody'd think you want Darrowby to be in danger.

Come on now-- I've got a busy day.

Well, the quicker I get my report in, the safer Darrowby will be.

Fine, I will utilize my home telephone.

(grunts) GRANTLEY: Absolutely, it will be with you.

I have it right here in my hands, the next draft.

Mm-hmm.

3:00 p.m. Friday-- I'll be there.

Goodbye.

(receiver set down) Thank you, Martha.

MARTHA: Madam.

(door closes) I'm confused, Mr. Carmody.

St. John's wort is a, a boost to humans, but toxic to goats.

Same compound responsible, actually-- hypericin.

One of my absolute favorites.

On contact with light, the hypericin seeks out the goats' unpigmented cells, under the white hair, and destroys their walls, causing a severe inflammatory reaction.

I can see why you're so fond of it.

(chuckles) There's rather a lovely passage about it in Wilkes and Graham, in fact.

Oh, I have a first edition.

Up on the, the top shelf, with my husband's books.

Have a look.

Oh.

I will indeed.

(chuckles) So, your husband stayed out east, did he?

Well, you could say that.

He contracted malaria out there, and... died.

Oh, I'm, I'm terribly sorry.

I know how devastating it can... No, it was...

It was so long ago and I was so young, I can barely remember him.

(softly): Sorry.

(laughs) (inhales): This was all before the Great War.

And since then, I've lived my life free of men's plans for me.

CARMODY: Ah!

(chuckles) That boy.

Got the top distinction in his year.

Won a prestigious research post in London.

Golly, how smashing.

Though I can't say I'm surprised.

You know, I think I'm putting it together.

Your love for goats.

Weren't they first domesticated in Persia?

They were-- do you know when?

I'd say around 10,000 years ago?

Jolly good.

In later Persian civilizations, goats represented divine order and goodness.

And is that what you're writing about?

No, actually, my book is, um, more of an overview, based loosely on a series of lectures I teach at Cambridge: "Zarathustra and Ziggurats."

(laughs) It all sounds fascinating.

Digging for treasure, forgotten civilizations appearing out of the dust.

Not a normal life.

Mm.

I sometimes wonder what I missed out on.

Oh, but you've lived on the other side of the world.

You must have seen so much.

There were forks in the road.

(sighing): And you never do find out what might have happened, going the other way.

No, you don't.

The Persians believed divine will was expressed through a person's particular talents and interests, and I, um...

I really can't think of a better way to navigate one's life.

(chuckles) Mr. Farnon tells me you're, you're leaving for London.

Congratulations.

Your prize.

Oh, I'm not accepting it.

No?

I'd much rather stay here as a vet, help with the war effort.

GRANTLEY: Oh.

Oh, right, of course.

(peacock calls) SIEGFRIED: So, "Ziggurats and Zarathustra."

Oh, actually, it's the other way round.

I'd be fascinated to read it.

Well, I... (chuckles) (stammering): I, I do have a, a, a draft copy.

I...

But I don't, it's rather long-- are you quite sure?

It would be a privilege.

Well, you would be under absolutely no obligation whatsoever, but if you did decide to tackle it, I would be very interested to know how it lands with a general reader.

You know, I do believe she likes those fine feathers of yours.

Keep it down, keep it down.

(chuckles) Oh.

Well.

I shall treasure it, thank you.

(chuckles) Miss Grantley.

Mr. Farnon.

Cheerio, Miss Grantley.

Cheerio.

(peacock calls) Thank you.

(door closes) (people talking in background) Man who sold 'em said ferrets take out rats quicker than strychnine.

I can quite believe it.

These chaps are their natural predators.

Well, thank you, Mr. Herriot.

Oh, how long till he's back ratting?

Oh, a week should do it.

Right.

You used strychnine before?

Aye.

But fat chance of getting your hands on any these past few months-- it's like gold dust.

Mr. Farnon said Bingo's symptoms were consistent with strychnine poisoning.

I'd never leave rat poison lying around.

Just, you said Mr. Bosworth were up at Danby's, with Bingo.

What did you do with the rats after you poisoned them?

I buried them, like Mr. Danby said.

How deep?

Danby didn't say.

JAMES: Doris, when a rat dies from poison, the corpse stays full of it.

You have to bury 'em deep, otherwise the foxes dig 'em up and poison themselves.

DORIS: Right, it's just round this wall here.

(Doris gasps) Oh, no, I didn't leave it dug up like this.

Hey.

Sorry, I don't think you buried 'em deep enough.

So it was me.

I murdered Bingo.

Well, you weren't to know.

Nobody told you any different, did they?

This is his responsibility.

Danby.

Well, I'd better tell Mr. Bosworth.

Why don't you let me break it to him first?

I could blooming well throttle you.

If you showed one ounce of human kindness, that dog would still be alive.

Come on, what have you got to say for yourself?

(grunts) (laughs) (door closes) Hamish!

(Hamish barks) Hello, boy.

Hello.

Now, shake.

Shake!

Yes, good boy.

Good, clever-- that's right.

Paw.

Paw?

Good boy.

Carmody, listen, I've been thinking.

You don't suppose you might have been hasty, turning the Warner's down?

No.

Don't worry, I've thought it all through.

I've lived through a war.

Seen the other side.

War can damage lives long after the last bullet has been fired.

That's to say, some chances, you miss them, they may never come again.

Like Miss Grantley said, war involves sacrifice for everybody.

I'd do more good here.

Well, what about the good you'd be doing there, pushing the frontiers of science?

Means, when the war does end, thanks to you, Britain might have developed key equipment, key medicines.

We'd be in a position to recover faster.

But the war's not won.

You do know we can employ other vets.

Just, we, we'd get by without a first-class mind like yours.

So, if you're attracted by a, a career in research, there's no better start than the Warner's.

I mean, the caliber of teachers... Mr. Farnon.

I've made my decision.

(breathes deeply) Googly!

Yes!

See, told you, didn't I?

Went the other way entirely.

You've bamboozled Mr. James Herriot, but could you get it by Mr. Len Hutton?

Yes, undoubtedly.

Come on, Jimmy lad, nap time.

Let's go.

Whoa, whoa, James, get back to the crease-- I wouldn't mind bowling again.

Sorry, can't.

Tris, I said we'd play and we played.

For what, ten minutes?

20, actually-- look... Ah, let me guess, you're about to pull out of tonight, aren't you?

Tactical rest before the weekend?

I understand-- I'll call the Otley boys and rearrange.

Can't do the weekend, either.

Oh.

Something up?

All this rabble-rousing.

Time was, I'd be right on your shoulder.

Yeah, but Helen doesn't mind.

No, it's me.

I want to enjoy my time with Jimmy.

And I want my mind clear to do my best work.

You just can't keep up with me, can you?

I can still have fun like the old days.

Just not every night.

And better if you give me some warning.

(exhales) Sorry, old chap.

Oh, perhaps I took it a little too far.

I just wanted to make the most of being back.

You're all right, though?

Of course.

Come here, old chap.

Yeah, speaking of responsibilities, finished that lecture of yours, have you?

Oh, what, you think I've been distracting you with cricket to avoid getting it done?

What about your playpen?

Shouldn't you be getting back to that, hm?

One more over.

That's the ticket.

Come on, Jimmy lad.

Watch your faither's forward defense, my boy!

Show us your best googly, then.

Googly!

Yes!

I wasn't ready.

And again.

SIEGFRIED: And he told me he'd made his decision.

I see.

I should have set him straight this morning.

Damn it, I just wasn't prepared for him leaving so suddenly.

It's natural enough.

You want them close.

I've gotten used to him being around.

I was selfish.

You've helped that boy enormously.

And what better culmination than him winning that prize?

It's not up to me, though.

That boy seems to have his mind all made up.

Well, I reckon there's more behind it than that.

Think how Mr. Carmody were brought up, being sent from pillar to post.

Yes.

(water dripping) Yes.

You know, you might be on to something there.

(door opens) Thank you, Mrs. Hall-- I'll talk to him again.

(door closes) (Mrs. Hall exhales) (softly): Oh, crikey.

(James and Tristan panting softly) What?

What?

(breathes deeply) (Jimmy coos) You look busy.

Let me guess-- Imperial College.

Your brother told you.

Just now.

Not an easy decision, as you can imagine.

Well, I know exactly how it feels.

I refused the Warner's, too.

Oh!

Right, so... Oh, I see.

You're pulling my leg.

Yes.

(sighs) Damned hard to find the right phrasing.

They're honoring me, but my reply sounds like I'm giving them some kind of moral lecture.

Well, good luck.

You know, there was a time when I couldn't imagine leaving Skeldale, either.

"Now, you might find this lecture a little dry.

Mules, known for their hardness and stamina..." (door closes, Tristan continues) (whines softly) SIEGFRIED: You wrote your letter, then?

In time to catch the evening post.

Took me an age to figure out how to phrase it.

Better for it to be logical.

Struggling to find the logic, were you?

No.

My answer made complete sense.

Right up till our recent conversation.

(chuckles) I just don't know anymore, that's the truth of it.

You know, if you were to go off to London, I hope you know there's always a place here for you.

No, see, if I took the Warner's, I'd be leaving practice, to do research, primarily.

I don't mean as a vet.

Oh.

(birds chirping, car horn honking in distance) (car approaching) (horn honking) (honking) (engine fading) (horn honking) (horn continues) (engine stops) (car door closes) BOSWORTH: Right, what's happening?

WOMAN: Mr. Bosworth, I'm afraid I might have... Oh, come on, Audrey.

(Bosworth and woman continue) Get it over with.

(sighs) Make a note on your pantry door, all right?

Okay, I'm so sorry, Mr. Bosworth.

Remember, remember.

(calling): Mr. Bosworth?

Can I have a word?

Well, what a blooming stupid way for Bingo to go.

I'll need a word with her.

She feels awful about it.

She, she wants to apologize in person.

Apologize?

I don't want to hear it.

Will that bring him back?

No.

In fact, if you're talking to her, tell her this for me.

Tell her... (emphatically): Tell her... Bingo brought me so much happiness, I'll not have him bringing misery to her.

And so, in conclusion, artful management of water supply, water conservation, shade, and rest will protect your mules from dehydration even in the most scorching of deserts.

(squealing) Thank you, thank you very much.

What do you think, too long?

(passes gas, giggles) No, you're right-- it's perfect, isn't it?

Perfect.

What did you think, do you have any notes?

No?

No notes!

(grunting, Jimmy giggles) BOSWORTH: Well, at least I can stop blaming meself.

It's hard to credit how much you can miss an animal.

I'm still doing it now, reaching down and tickling the air.

He had an happy life.

With no Bingo to keep me spirits up, find myself getting very particular about things.

I rub people up wrong way.

Well... People never thank you for telling them what to do.

You're just trying to keep us all safe.

But what got into me this morning?

I were convinced it were a bomb.

Mr. Bosworth...

I believe I owe you an apology.

This morning, I were a bit ratty, so-- sorry.

Bad choice of words.

(laughs) Terrible.

My son's on a battleship.

Oh!

I didn't know.

All I do is imagine the worst, every time the blooming paper arrives or I put the radio on, and... (sighs) I can't keep him safe.

Sometimes I feel like I'm no use to man nor beast.

So if I were a bit sharp... (stammering): Oh, Mrs. Hall... You know, sometimes... (breath trembles) ...I feel like a smashed pot that's been glued back together.

(cries softly) (both chuckle) Wait.

Warden's handbook.

Uh... Oh, here it is.

"The key notes of a warden's conduct should be courage and presence of mind."

Well, that sounds like you all over, that does.

Oh, and now you're being daft.

(sighs) I've seen how folk listen to you, Mrs. Hall.

You're making a difference every day.

If you can't see that, you're the daft one.

(birds chirping, horse nickers) (Jimmy cooing) JAMES: And that should do it.

Oh!

There we go.

(chuckles, knocks) (laughing): Aw.

(Jimmy coos) (jingling) (babbling) (laughing): Oh... Oh!

(toy jingling, adults talking playfully) (Carmody clears throat loudly) Well... (sighs) I... Well, I think I have an announcement.

Hamish.

(barks softly) This morning, I found out I was awarded the Warner's Prize.

Accepting it would mean an imminent departure for London.

Oh.

The Warner's, eh?

After some consideration, I've decided to accept.

That's bloody marvelous, old chap.

Ten days' time, I start.

Down in London.

But that's so soon.

It must've been a tough decision, pal, but I see great things ahead.

Oh, come here.

Blooming wonderful news!

Place won't be the same.

Rather wish I could take you all with me.

Well, that'd be some suitcase.

(all chuckle) Right, this calls for a celebratory drink.

I mean, I'm finally getting my bed back.

(all laughing) James won't be able to make it, of course.

You have to give him at least six months' notice.

(mock-laughing) (snaps): Richard, beers?

You go, I'll join you.

I have to do some reading.

(softly): Mrs. Hall.

You don't happen to have the phone number for Danby Farm?

(Jimmy fussing) Thanks for being so understanding about this, Tris.

Helen?

Hey, I'd love a night off.

You'll be all right with Jimmy, won't you?

I suppose I'll have to be.

Have a good time.

(Tristan laughs, door opens) Right, Jimmy.

(door closes) Do you like your new playpen?

(babbles) (jingling) (softly): Smile!

(babbling) (laughing) (giggles) Thank you.

(dialing number) (Jimmy whimpering) (softly): Come here.

CARMODY: Hello, Doris?

It's Mr. Carmody.

Richard.

That's him, me.

(chuckles) I'm Richard Carmody, I'm a vet.

For animals.

Anyhow... We were all about to go to the Drovers, have a drink.

If you'd join us, it would be excellent to see you there.

Yes?

Well, in about half an hour, then.

Goodbye.

(receiver set down) You're coming to the capital.

It'll just be you, me, and the big city.

(panting) Ready for a new palette of sniffs?

Of course you are.

(sighs) Drovers?

Shall we?

Super.

Oh, and Doris has promised to join us.

New book?

Oh, just something I picked up about Ancient Persia.

It's quite a tome.

(door closes) (chuckling): Remember when he first arrived?

Boy didn't know a thing-- now look at him.

Doors and everything.

(doorknob rattling) (hinge squeaks) (chuckles) SIEGFRIED: Well, this is jolly.

All of us celebrating together.

Oh, don't mind me, Siegfried.

(door closes) Don't mind us.

(babbling) (gasps): Ooh!

HELEN: Coming through!

JAMES: Are these all from the victory garden?

MRS. HALL: You might say too much of a good thing.

(phone rings) Won't be a moment.

Might you have some time on your hands?

We're a bit stretched.

I don't want you breathing down my neck the whole time.

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