Nightmare Theatre

<b>One day the devil came to him</b> <b>for he was a minor demon.</b> <b>Asked him to torture</b> <b>some humans</b> <b>with his two friends in tow</b> <b>Mittens and El Sapo, the Baron Mondo</b> <b> Von Doren</b> <b>On Nightmare Theatre</b> <b>No, nothing.</b> <b>Mittens, let me try to put it this way.</b> <b>It was a great indecisive battle.</b> <b>Maybe one of the most exciting battles</b> <b>in military history.</b> <b>Think about it</b> <b>in terms of military strategy.</b> <b>There was once a great book on strategy</b> <b>called The Art of War.</b> <b>Now, sure, it was called The Art of War.</b> <b>But really, it's about strategic thinking,</b> <b>and it could be applied</b> <b>to all areas of life.</b> <b>It taught you how to think and plan</b> <b>strategically.</b> <b>One particular section</b> <b>said it's always best to occupy</b> <b>the high ground, the hilltop,</b> <b>the summit, the mountain peak.</b> <b>That way you look down</b> <b>and see if the enemy is attacking.</b> <b>That's why I always get the top bunk</b> <b>when we all go camping in the cabins.</b> <b>I need to survey my kingdom.</b> <b>Well, one fine day,</b> <b>a soldier was on top of his hill,</b> <b>maintaining his post like a good soldier</b> <b>when he saw an invading horde.</b> <b>He acted quickly</b> <b>and he was able to rally the troops.</b> <b>And after a horrific battle,</b> <b>the enemy was vanquished.</b> <b>Defeated.</b> <b>The soldier was hailed as a hero.</b> <b>The good guys won.</b> <b>Many medals were distributed,</b> <b>and many songs</b> <b>and poems were written in the honor</b> <b>of the Valiant Soldiers.</b> <b>What?</b> <b>No, no.</b> <b>It wasn't Thermopylae or some other</b> <b>ancient battle from a thousand years ago.</b> <b>It did happen during World War Two.</b> <b>It was the battle of to Theophilus.</b> <b>See, the good people of Toothless</b> <b>were under attack by the cavity creeps.</b> <b>The cavity creaks were in league with yuk</b> <b>mouth and his evil forces.</b> <b>But here's the thing, Mittens.</b> <b>The good guys always win.</b> <b>The bad guys always gets</b> <b>what's coming to them.</b> <b>I, for one, salute the heroes</b> <b>who fought to save to thwart bullies.</b> <b>Oh, wait, wait.

We're on late.</b> <b>Later, I'll tell you about all the brave</b> <b>souls lost in Nikola Wars.</b> <b>Hello, my friends, and welcome once again</b> <b>to Nightmare Theater.</b> <b>I am your host of Mother Van Doren.</b> <b>And here with me is Milton Zimmer Wolfe.</b> <b>And we were just discussing crepes.</b> <b>As we wait for the king of the crepes,</b> <b>I'll separate in pesto</b> <b>to show up with tonight's movie.</b> <b>Here I am, fellas.</b> <b>Oh, I'm glad you could</b> <b>finally fit us into your busy schedule.</b> <b>I do run on a tight time line so</b> <b>many social engagements, so little time.</b> <b>Must be hard</b> <b>to get everything done on time, huh?</b> <b>You're telling.

Me?</b> <b>Yes.

Yes, I am.

Sorry.</b> <b>What did you do today?</b> <b>Well, today was the day I make my rounds</b> <b>at the barbershops, jails, animal shelters</b> <b>and military recruiting centers.</b> <b>Why would you go to those places?</b> <b>The military is never going to take you</b> <b>and I would think you would</b> <b>steer clear of the jailhouse.</b> <b>I guess I can understand</b> <b>the animal shelter part.</b> <b>The barbershop is a complete mystery</b> <b>that was.</b> <b>Collecting hair, boss.

Collecting hair.</b> <b>Okay.

I'm going to ask this.</b> <b>Even number two,</b> <b>what do you do with the hair?</b> <b>What do I do with it, boss?</b> <b>I knitted in the doilies.</b> <b>I stuff it in our pillows.</b> <b>You stuff our pillows with hair</b> <b>sweep and more.</b> <b>Sure.</b> <b>And I looming in the sweaters.

Oh, Lord.</b> <b>And when the toothbrushes need re</b> <b>bristling.</b> <b>Stop it.</b> <b>I don't want to hear anything about that.</b> <b>I'll yanked out all my teeth myself before</b> <b>I use another toothbrush you give me.</b> <b>Hey, hey, hey.</b> <b>The toothbrushes.</b> <b>I give you a reversal with my own hair.</b> <b>I wouldn't give you some strangers</b> <b>hairball.</b> <b>Oh, dear Lord.</b> <b>All in all, it was not one of my best hair</b> <b>scavenging days, though.</b> <b>Well.</b> <b>Let me ask you the most obvious question.</b> <b>Do you have anything to show tonight?</b> <b>Anything at all?</b> <b>What we do, you see down at the Navy</b> <b>recruiting center, I was rooting around</b> <b>in a garbage bin, found this film card.</b> <b>It was tossed in there with all the hair</b> <b>and the empty cans and need beans.</b> <b>Maybe it's a navy training film</b> <b>on how to give sailors a good haircut.</b> <b>Can you show that?</b> <b>Maybe</b> <b>while I sally forth in search of a movie,</b> <b>I heard there was a good one</b> <b>up in the lighthouse.</b> <b>The lighthouse, whatever.</b> <b>Just go find a movie like now.</b> <b>Well, ladies and</b> <b>gentlemen, I wonder what this could be.</b> <b>I bet a pretty penny it's got</b> <b>and it's not one of those Navy training</b> <b>films like he thought.</b> <b>They keep those locked up.</b> <b>What do you think?</b> <b>It's another chapter</b> <b>of the Undersea Kingdom.</b> <b>There can't be any more of those.</b> <b>We've shown, like 75 of them,</b> <b>it seems, huh?</b> <b>Well, you're right.</b> <b>It's chapter 12 of the Undersea Kingdom.</b> <b>We sat through 11 of these chapters.</b> <b>I suppose one more can't hurt us.</b> <b>I hope I might as well quit up Mittens.</b> <b>We're stuck with it.</b> <b>Motors before Crash gets down there</b> <b>and destroys them.</b> <b>Your Imperial Majesty.</b> <b>They've broken the control.</b> <b>It gets to the master.</b> <b>Control</b> <b>and start the rocket motors by hand.</b> <b>But the strangers from the other world,</b> <b>Your Imperial Majesty,</b> <b>aren't</b> <b>you going to make any effort to stop them?</b> <b>They won't get far</b> <b>once the rocket motors are started.</b> <b>The planes really</b> <b>exhaust will take care of them.</b> <b>The motors are located around that bend.</b> <b>So they still might</b> <b>try to get out of here.</b> <b>I can't.</b> <b>I can't.</b> <b>I'm 35.</b> <b>All right,</b> <b>Tara shaking loose with foundation.</b> <b>It'll take off any minute</b> <b>and crash through the roof.</b> <b>Remember that case?</b> <b>All Atlantis will be flooded.</b> <b>We must get to the submarine.

What?</b> <b>Diane and Billy, they'll be safe.</b> <b>Our job is to get up to the top</b> <b>and prevent on the top</b> <b>of destroying our civilization.</b> <b>Towers taking off</b> <b>settlement.</b> <b>Before this day is over, I shall.</b> <b>Make myself supreme</b> <b>ruler of the Upper World War destroy it</b> <b>gets it disintegrated.</b> <b>Ready?</b> <b>Oh, look at this.</b> <b>Integrator.</b> <b>Put it out of commission.</b> <b>Now, starting up</b> <b>again.

Pressure.</b> <b>And what are we going to do?</b> <b>First thing we better do</b> <b>is think the submarine</b> <b>for the ocean comes down on that.</b> <b>You handle the ship?</b> <b>Sure.

Dad taught me all about it.</b> <b>Get your back.</b> <b>We're going down.</b> <b>Soon.</b> <b>The ocean fills.</b> <b>Atlantis will follow the tower up</b> <b>through the hole in the rough.</b> <b>The cover from the ocean is coming down.</b> <b>Here we go.</b> <b>Thank</b> <b>Captain Parker.</b> <b>Have you given the men the.</b> <b>Final instructions</b> <b>for the conquest of the upper world?</b> <b>Your orders have been carried out.</b> <b>You imagine</b> <b>if I could get to the reflecting point,</b> <b>I might be able to send a message</b> <b>to the naval base in the morning.</b> <b>A garden</b> <b>await your inspection in the garden.</b> <b>Room,</b> <b>there's a garden.</b> <b>And when?</b> <b>Like, get past him and command.</b> <b>Tune in on the naval base.</b> <b>I have unlimited</b> <b>duties now.

Good.</b> <b>Get me the wireless room</b> <b>is quite a signal.</b> <b>Is Lieutenant Corrigan speaking?</b> <b>I'm with Professor Norton.</b> <b>We're trapped in a metal tower</b> <b>which is being brought</b> <b>to the surface of the ocean by a madman.</b> <b>He intends to conquer</b> <b>the world, to destroy it,</b> <b>and the war stopped.</b> <b>We reached the surface</b> <b>window.</b> <b>What kind of strange craft is that?</b> <b>Our first victim.</b> <b>We start to project our.</b> <b>This is only the beginning.</b> <b>The upper world orders to get this tower</b> <b>to descend together.</b> <b>I can do it.</b> <b>Next up,</b> <b>look at their cities from my perspective.</b> <b>Plus, I read the Sun thinking.

Just</b> <b>the right price.</b> <b>We get to control this.</b> <b>And stop the earthquake.

Well, I.</b> <b>Try and get the naval base</b> <b>coming in again.</b> <b>Security without cargo compartments.</b> <b>The approximate location</b> <b>is latitude</b> <b>63 degrees, longitude, 49 degrees.</b> <b>And we're moving in on the North</b> <b>American problem.</b> <b>This tower is equipped.</b> <b>With machinery capable</b> <b>of destroying our entire civilization.</b> <b>I recommend</b> <b>you dispatch the battlefield immediately.</b> <b>Against the tower.</b> <b>While I try and stop you from</b> <b>using it.

This is a greater.</b> <b>I don't want to.</b> <b>Tell you how</b> <b>he's been cut off again.</b> <b>Keep trying to</b> <b>get me the Navy Department.</b> <b>And the tower.</b> <b>We'd better get the foreign currency to</b> <b>Your Imperial Majesty.</b> <b>I heard him order</b> <b>our engines of war to destroy this tower.</b> <b>So much so that the sooner they get here,</b> <b>the quicker I will destroy them.</b> <b>Your Majesty.</b> <b>Look, they're approaching their guns.</b> <b>Can never reach us.</b> <b>Reject the invisible wall of atom</b> <b>rays around the tower.</b> <b>Fire.</b> <b>We're ready.</b> <b>Have you</b> <b>and the.</b> <b>Food waste ammunition.</b> <b>Then I'll give them a taste</b> <b>of their power.</b> <b>I shall have</b> <b>no thank you to for seems to explore them.</b> <b>Before they reach the tower.</b> <b>But keep firing.</b> <b>I was</b> <b>enough to.</b> <b>Turn the disintegrating</b> <b>rail against.

Them.</b> <b>I have</b> <b>to get down there and stop them.</b> <b>Now is the time to</b> <b>the end of tower.</b> <b>All always to be able to make it.</b> <b>Your Majesty.</b> <b>We can get to the.</b> <b>Ball plain before they destroy.</b> <b>And I don't think</b> <b>that a of</b> <b>they going faster</b> <b>aim at the water line.

I.</b> <b>Are you still trying to make that book?</b> <b>I've come to life, Professor.</b> <b>Yes, and I won't stop until I succeed.</b> <b>Once I discover</b> <b>the secret of hunger can't control</b> <b>all mankind will be relieved</b> <b>of the drudgery of physical labor.</b> <b>Well, that's all very fine, Professor,</b> <b>but right now you're coming with that.</b> <b>Quack who will need you as a witness</b> <b>of the marriage license bureau.</b> <b>Splendid.</b> <b>Why didn't you tell me in the first place?</b> <b>Wait till I get my</b> <b>things.

I'll be right back.</b> <b>Why come back?</b> <b>Hey, look after my hair.</b> <b>It's you.</b> <b>Can I come along?</b> <b>Do you think you can really?</b> <b>Well, hello and welcome back.</b> <b>Thank goodness that is over.</b> <b>That was the last chapter.</b> <b>Man, I love.</b> <b>I wish that that crash had beaten</b> <b>that Billy to within an inch of his life</b> <b>when it came out of that robot.</b> <b>That kid is almost as bad as SAPO.</b> <b>I'm glad we're past this, folks.</b> <b>We got through it together as a team.</b> <b>It was painful.</b> <b>I know, But you know something?</b> <b>I think we grew a little in the process.</b> <b>I know I did in many, many ways.</b> <b>I grew to hate</b> <b>everyone associated with this cereal.</b> <b>I grew to load the concept of cereals</b> <b>in general, and I grew</b> <b>to really resent SAPO</b> <b>for subjecting us to this hootenanny.</b> <b>He'll get his one day, believe me,</b> <b>I wonder where he is.</b> <b>He really</b> <b>should have found a movie by now.</b> <b>And here I am, fellas.

Hoo hoo</b> <b>ho, Joy.</b> <b>I say, Hey, say, how did that</b> <b>under the sneezing in the dorm room</b> <b>get her shoes back?</b> <b>Did the seahorse</b> <b>deliver the mail on time to the fisherman?</b> <b>Ever find true love?</b> <b>What are you even talking about?</b> <b>All right, you got me.</b> <b>I wasn't watching any of this.</b> <b>If I didn't see a minute</b> <b>of any of this cereal, I made it all.</b> <b>Oh, we're going to address that.</b> <b>Once this is over, you're going to watch</b> <b>every every second of it.</b> <b>Will you watch it with me?</b> <b>No.

You'll watch it alone.

All alone.</b> <b>What about you?

Means I can depend on you.</b> <b>Will you watch it with me?</b> <b>He said no ring.</b> <b>Did you find a movie?

I sure did.</b> <b>And I think it might be a good one.</b> <b>Why would you think that?</b> <b>Because it was all alone</b> <b>up there in the lighthouse.</b> <b>Suppose we don't have a lighthouse.</b> <b>But I swear we do.</b> <b>And this movie was up there.</b> <b>Whatever.

Let me see the film.

Can.</b> <b>Oh, Sapo, this is torment.</b> <b>Oh, is that good?</b> <b>No, it's.</b> <b>Not.

This is a terrible movie.</b> <b>Oh, come on.</b> <b>There's got to be something good</b> <b>in this here movie.</b> <b>There is nothing good about this movie.</b> <b>Oh, no, no, boss, you know what they say.</b> <b>Yeah, I do.

They say Fire Sapo</b> <b>They say down with Sapo</b> <b>They say a lot of things.</b> <b>But they also say</b> <b>there is something good in everything.</b> <b>Who says that?

Who exactly?

Spill it?</b> <b>Name names.</b> <b>Bring those people to me and I will prove</b> <b>each and every one of them wrong.</b> <b>Oh, come on.

Come on.</b> <b>You know, there is something.</b> <b>I have spoken.</b> <b>I've officially put my foot down.</b> <b>There is no good here.</b> <b>Well, maybe in a way.

Hijack plot.</b> <b>Paul frees.</b> <b>What Paul frees is connected this movie.</b> <b>And before you say anything,</b> <b>Paul Frees was a pretty good guy.</b> <b>Anyone who's been to the Haunted</b> <b>mansion at Disney has heard his voice.</b> <b>Boy, he had an amazing voice.</b> <b>Not unlike my own.</b> <b>He was extremely talented.</b> <b>In fact, Mel Blanc once said Free</b> <b>should be known</b> <b>as the man of a Thousand Voices.</b> <b>And he is in this movie.</b> <b>Which one is he?</b> <b>Well, he's in this movie sort of.</b> <b>Eventually, if we make it far enough</b> <b>into this movie, there's going to be</b> <b>a character named Frank Hubbard,</b> <b>played by a guy named Harry Fleer.</b> <b>So what does that have to do with this</b> <b>Pete Fleece guy, Paul Freeze.</b> <b>After the movie was completed,</b> <b>Paul Freeze came in and doubled</b> <b>his voice and four Fleer.</b> <b>Did Fleer</b> <b>see an early this film and demand</b> <b>that his voice be taken out?</b> <b>No but it's nice to see you think.</b> <b>And for once, Paul</b> <b>Freeze was often asked to do dubbing</b> <b>for people whose voices just didn't work</b> <b>or just didn't fit.</b> <b>He worked for nearly all the major studios</b> <b>and was very well-regarded in his field.</b> <b>Freeze was involved in over</b> <b>250 films over his.</b> <b>Career, but he's most well known for this</b> <b>role.

Right?</b> <b>And not at all.</b> <b>Look, Paul Freeze has a great voice, but</b> <b>even his golden voice</b> <b>can't save this movie, folks.</b> <b>Let's Roll tormented the movie</b> <b>that features the voice of the guy</b> <b>from the Best Ride, a theme park ever</b> <b>produced here on Nightmare</b> <b>Theater.</b> <b>This is where I find peace and quiet.</b> <b>The peace of waves forever</b> <b>breaking on the shore,</b> <b>the quiet of tranquil moonlight</b> <b>on the sea.</b> <b>When the night wind rises</b> <b>and the fingers of the frogs deal in.</b> <b>They say you can hear voices.</b> <b>They say it's the dead growing restless</b> <b>and calling to the living.</b> <b>I never believed it until that evening.</b> <b>I came looking for me.</b> <b>But you always know that marriage was out.</b> <b>I never lied to you.</b> <b>But I always thought, Look, by</b> <b>whatever you thought is your business.</b> <b>But it's all over.

It's finished.</b> <b>You should never have come here.</b> <b>And you'll be doing yourself a favor</b> <b>if you take the first boat back.</b> <b>I can't go back without you.</b> <b>You come back with me, Tom.</b> <b>Just tell me you changed your mind.</b> <b>Nobody even knows I'm on the island.</b> <b>I chartered a private boat over.</b> <b>I won't even go back to the club.</b> <b>I'll quit right now.</b> <b>Why would you, for heaven's</b> <b>sakes, realize when a good thing is over.</b> <b>A second</b> <b>rate singer like me doesn't</b> <b>get in the picture anymore.</b> <b>I hear she's quite young</b> <b>and has money too.</b> <b>I please understand.</b> <b>And I'm in love with her.</b> <b>I need your time.</b> <b>No one will ever love you more than I do.</b> <b>It's okay.</b> <b>I'm sorry for everything.</b> <b>Night.</b> <b>I still have your letters.</b> <b>I've never been a lighthouse before.</b> <b>Show me the light, darling.</b> <b>What about the letters VI?</b> <b>Oh, I never throw anything like that away.</b> <b>You never know</b> <b>when they might come in handy.</b> <b>I wonder how she'd feel if I read them</b> <b>to her, putting in pertinent footnotes.</b> <b>Of course.</b> <b>Or maybe I'll have to show them</b> <b>to a lawyer.</b> <b>I'm sure he'd know what to do with them.</b> <b>How would a lawsuit</b> <b>fit in with your music career, Tom?</b> <b>How would the piano genius of jazz feel</b> <b>about that.</b> <b>Kind of publicity?</b> <b>Darling,</b> <b>you look as if you were ready to kill me.</b> <b>Now, you get this straight.</b> <b>I'm marrying Mike.</b> <b>And you get this straight.</b> <b>Tom.

Stuart, No one will ever have.</b> <b>You but me.

Me?</b> <b>We've come.</b> <b>Stay me</b> <b>play.</b> <b>I wanted it to be Sandy.</b> <b>Sandy.</b> <b>Sandy, Look,</b> <b>do me a favor, will you, and run out</b> <b>and play somewhere.</b> <b>I'm busy.</b> <b>I don't.</b> <b>You, like many?</b> <b>Sure.

I like you.</b> <b>I love you.</b> <b>I just want to be by myself.</b> <b>Where were you last night?</b> <b>The Amazons had a beach barbecue,</b> <b>and everyone on the island was there.</b> <b>And I was looking all over for you.</b> <b>Sandy, please run along.</b> <b>Oh, sorry.</b> <b>I almost forgot the wedding announcements.</b> <b>Okay, Mom,</b> <b>I want you to look at one for me.</b> <b>Something that it's only a week to the</b> <b>big day.</b> <b>Yeah, okay.

Okay.</b> <b>Yeah, It</b> <b>says it is</b> <b>five.</b> <b>No, I'll take care of it.</b> <b>I've got to.</b> <b>Take it easy.</b> <b>I didn't find any dead woman.</b> <b>Only me.

Seaweed.</b> <b>I know what's the matter with me.</b> <b>I'm seeing things.</b> <b>I'm letting my imagination run wild.</b> <b>It's my conscience.</b> <b>Oh, why should it bother me?</b> <b>I didn't do anything.

Goodbye.</b> <b>I didn't kill her.</b> <b>It's her own fault.</b> <b>She's dead</b> <b>She came out here of her own accord.</b> <b>She leaned against the railing.</b> <b>She fell.</b> <b>It wasn't my fault.

The gateway.</b> <b>Why should I be blamed?</b> <b>I had nothing to do with it anyway.</b> <b>Nobody ever needs to know.</b> <b>Nobody will even connect me with her.</b> <b>Why should they?</b> <b>Except for this watch of hers.</b> <b>All right.

Bye.</b> <b>That's the end of you.

Oh,</b> <b>oh, oh,</b> <b>Thank you.</b> <b>Make it.</b> <b>You expecting someone out?</b> <b>Oh, no, no.</b> <b>It's just that I wasn't expecting anyone.</b> <b>Uh, what are you doing up here?</b> <b>Looking for you.</b> <b>Doing up here in this old lighthouse?</b> <b>Well,</b> <b>at least it's quiet.

I.</b> <b>I wanted to think.</b> <b>I guess I'm worried about that</b> <b>Carnegie Hall thing next month.</b> <b>I wonder if I'm good enough.</b> <b>Course you're good enough.</b> <b>You're the best jazz pianist in the world.</b> <b>Right?</b> <b>I never loved anyone before in my life.</b> <b>Oh, I did that</b> <b>person</b> <b>was perfumer Paige.</b> <b>I'm old and gloomy in here.</b> <b>I just make a crater in that big lamp</b> <b>staring at us</b> <b>like it up here.</b> <b>Since the light stopped working.</b> <b>Glad they're going to tear it down.</b> <b>Well, let's go outside the sun.</b> <b>Warmer</b> <b>coming.</b> <b>They're sending the gown tomorrow.</b> <b>Oh, you're going to love it, Tom.</b> <b>Oh, I was supposed to see about a tie</b> <b>for Dad, and I forgot.</b> <b>I'll be so glad</b> <b>when the whole thing's over with.</b> <b>Won't you?</b> <b>Lonely be a week more?</b> <b>We can wait that long.</b> <b>So much time.</b> <b>Don't you</b> <b>see anything?</b> <b>There's nothing to see.</b> <b>Like there.</b> <b>Well,</b> <b>that's nothing.</b> <b>Like I've got to get out of here</b> <b>right away.</b> <b>But let's hope</b> <b>we can catch a boat to the mainland</b> <b>and be married this afternoon.</b> <b>Not the wedding.</b> <b>I was never for a big deal anyway.</b> <b>I only agreed to it because you wanted it.</b> <b>You know that I still want that.</b> <b>Please, Meg, please do this for me.</b> <b>Just go away with me right now.</b> <b>That's impossible.</b> <b>My mother and father to think of as well.</b> <b>You can.</b> <b>I'll have to go by myself.</b> <b>How's the wedding?</b> <b>What about it?

Make</b> <b>you go?</b> <b>There won't be one for Meg.</b> <b>Hello.</b> <b>What's.

What's possible?</b> <b>I just realized you yet</b> <b>told me a single word about the man.</b> <b>What directed this movie?</b> <b>First of all, don't interrupt me.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>Second, I was hoping we could ignore</b> <b>that subject just for tonight.</b> <b>But you know that every night</b> <b>before I go to bed,</b> <b>I keep a detailed journal</b> <b>and a diary about the directors.</b> <b>No, I don't believe that for a minute.</b> <b>Not one minute.</b> <b>But if you want to know</b> <b>about the director.</b> <b>Here you go, tough guy.</b> <b>This film was directed</b> <b>by the infamous Bert I.</b> <b>Gordon, if you're a glutton punishment</b> <b>and enjoy torturing yourself,</b> <b>why not get in your car?</b> <b>Tune in to your favorite AM radio station</b> <b>and drive down to your local book vendor</b> <b>and write them a check</b> <b>and purchase yourself</b> <b>a copy of The Amazing</b> <b>Colossal World of Mr.</b> <b>Big an Autobiographical Journey</b> <b>by Bert Gordon.</b> <b>All You Would Ever Want to Know About Bert</b> <b>I Garden.</b> <b>Whoo!

Mr.</b> <b>Big, That sounds like a bad guy</b> <b>in some type of crime movie or something.</b> <b>Well, that was his intention,</b> <b>but that's also his initials.</b> <b>Bert, I, Gordon b I g.</b> <b>Wow.

You know, names are funny, boss.</b> <b>The way names sound and the way they are</b> <b>spelled names are sure funny.</b> <b>And yours is at least.</b> <b>You know, books make great gifts, boss.</b> <b>That's right.</b> <b>If you have someone in your life</b> <b>that you'd like to get out of your life,</b> <b>give them this book for their birthday.</b> <b>They will never, ever speak to you again.</b> <b>Or if you have someone in your life</b> <b>that you want to get out of your life,</b> <b>just call me.</b> <b>I can take care of certain</b> <b>little problems for you.</b> <b>Yes, people will start talking to them and</b> <b>believe me, they will run far, far away.</b> <b>Yes, they will.

I'd leave</b> <b>if I could, believe me.</b> <b>Hey, boss, you haven't me anything yet</b> <b>about the cars.</b> <b>I wasn't planning to.</b> <b>Oh, come on, tell me.</b> <b>Tell me, tell me, tell me, Tell me.</b> <b>It's your funeral.</b> <b>This film stars</b> <b>Richard Carlson and Susan Gordon.</b> <b>Ooh, Is Susan Gordon any kin to Bert?</b> <b>Bye, Gordon.</b> <b>Yes.

Suppose she's his daughter.</b> <b>Wow.

And she beat out everyone else</b> <b>who auditioned for this role.</b> <b>She must.</b> <b>There must've been a mile</b> <b>long line of girls auditioning.</b> <b>She's a very lucky, very talented supper.</b> <b>She's not lucky.</b> <b>One time.</b> <b>One time she forgot to do her chores,</b> <b>and instead of grounding her,</b> <b>Bert made her be in this movie</b> <b>as a punishment.</b> <b>She never forgot to do her chores again.</b> <b>I can tell you that much.</b> <b>Well, can you tell me about anyone else</b> <b>in this thing?</b> <b>There must have been</b> <b>some other good people.</b> <b>Not really.</b> <b>However, if you insist.</b> <b>Joe Terkel plays a blackmailer.</b> <b>Type another.

Fellow criminal.</b> <b>Yes.

Blackmailing</b> <b>people is against the law.</b> <b>Joe Terkel plays a criminal.</b> <b>Now, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Who?</b> <b>Who is Joe Terkel?

I can name you made up.</b> <b>Oh, he was a reasonably good character</b> <b>actor who,</b> <b>believe it</b> <b>or not, was in some pretty decent movies.</b> <b>So this movie opened the for him, huh?</b> <b>It opened the door to unemployment office</b> <b>for him for several years,</b> <b>but then he turned things around</b> <b>for himself.

Sorta.</b> <b>It's always good when someone reinvents</b> <b>themselves and turns their life.</b> <b>Around, isn't it?</b> <b>What would you know about that?</b> <b>Well, tell me, what other movies was</b> <b>the year you got to tell me?</b> <b>I won't be able to sleep tonight</b> <b>unless you tell me.</b> <b>A little kill some time.

I guess.</b> <b>Terkel played Lloyd in The Shining</b> <b>and Tyrell in Blade Runner.

Woo!</b> <b>Those were some really good movies,</b> <b>I hear.</b> <b>No thanks to this guy.</b> <b>You could have been in those movies</b> <b>and they still would have been good.</b> <b>Wait, I take that back?</b> <b>You would have ruined those movies.</b> <b>Any of these actors do anything else?</b> <b>Well, Richard Carlson did this movie</b> <b>in 1960, but before this, he did Creature</b> <b>from the Black Lagoon in 1954,</b> <b>and it came from outer space in 1953.</b> <b>Now, those</b> <b>those were some good movies, right?</b> <b>I heard some older boys down by the water</b> <b>fountain talking about this movie.</b> <b>One time when I was in school.</b> <b>Those movies were really good,</b> <b>I hear.

Sure.</b> <b>But he did those two movies</b> <b>before he did this.</b> <b>Well, what great and amazing things</b> <b>did he do after this movie?</b> <b>Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.</b> <b>In fact, after this movie,</b> <b>he took up permanent residency,</b> <b>panhandling on the bad TV show circuit.</b> <b>He did shows literally no human being</b> <b>has ever heard of, like Owen</b> <b>Marshall, counselor</b> <b>at Law and Bus Stop and Lancer.</b> <b>Now, I doubt anyone can prove this movie</b> <b>directly ruined his career</b> <b>in a court of law.</b> <b>Oh, I steer</b> <b>clear of them.

Courts of law about.</b> <b>Oh, I bet.</b> <b>But he was in a couple</b> <b>of pretty good movies up until this point.</b> <b>And he was in nothing</b> <b>but bad TV shows after this movie.</b> <b>So if you want to draw a link</b> <b>between this movie and Carlson's career,</b> <b>I will not argue with you folks.</b> <b>Let's get back to starring a guy</b> <b>who eventually had a small role</b> <b>in Blade Runner and another guy</b> <b>who wound up being in a bunch of TV shows.</b> <b>Literally, no one other than me</b> <b>remembers here on Nightmare Theater.</b> <b>And now I will perform the greatest</b> <b>of all magic accomplishment</b> <b>ever performed on this island.</b> <b>The secret cabinet as.</b> <b>You will please notice</b> <b>the cabinet is empty.

Tom.</b> <b>Tom, you're not paying attention.</b> <b>Don't you want to see the secret cabinet?</b> <b>Oh, sure I do.</b> <b>I wouldn't miss it.

Go ahead.</b> <b>Well,</b> <b>they closed the doors to the magic cabinet</b> <b>and take the magic word</b> <b>and tap it with the magic wand.</b> <b>Abracadabra.</b> <b>We no longer have an empty cabinet.</b> <b>It is now filled with jellybeans.</b> <b>Tom Stewart,</b> <b>find one.</b> <b>You are.</b> <b>Oh, Sandy.</b> <b>Sandy.</b> <b>If you hate me for the rest of your life,</b> <b>I deserve it.</b> <b>I couldn't tell you.</b> <b>No matter what you did.</b> <b>No matter what I did.

No matter what.</b> <b>Even like fighting with your sister</b> <b>makes mad at me.</b> <b>You know.</b> <b>She'll get over that.</b> <b>If she doesn't,</b> <b>you'll be free to marry me.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>From now</b> <b>on, you're the other woman in my life,</b> <b>okay?</b> <b>And you run along.</b> <b>Now, I got some practicing to do.</b> <b>I'll clean up your magic step by step.</b> <b>Is lonely.</b> <b>I'm tormented by my.</b> <b>Oh, you</b> <b>empty.</b> <b>I am by</b> <b>the memory of</b> <b>who's there.</b> <b>It's Mrs.</b> <b>Ellen's Tom.</b> <b>I brought you some flowers.</b> <b>Something the matter, Tom?</b> <b>What makes you say that?</b> <b>You sound upset.</b> <b>Perhaps I'd better check you another time.</b> <b>Oh, no, no, Mrs.

Alice.</b> <b>No.

Come on, Sit down.</b> <b>Thank you for the flowers.</b> <b>That lovely.</b> <b>Sit down right here.</b> <b>Mrs.

Alice,</b> <b>I want to ask you something.</b> <b>It sounds kind of silly,</b> <b>but what do you believe?</b> <b>That the spirits of the dead</b> <b>can come back to haunt the living?</b> <b>Do you believe in ghosts?</b> <b>What makes you ask a thing like that?</b> <b>You haven't answered, Mrs.

Alice.</b> <b>Nobody believes in ghosts nowadays.</b> <b>Do you?</b> <b>If anybody was to ask me seriously,</b> <b>I would have to say no.</b> <b>Of course.</b> <b>A real estate agent runs into many strange</b> <b>things in an empty house sometimes.</b> <b>What kind of things?</b> <b>Well, there was a family named Samuels.</b> <b>They lived in that last house</b> <b>down the beach.</b> <b>One day, their little boy took his dog</b> <b>and went fishing.</b> <b>They never came back.</b> <b>And nobody knows what happened to them.</b> <b>After the Samuels moved away,</b> <b>I signed three tenants during that</b> <b>first month,</b> <b>but not one of them</b> <b>would stay more than a few days.</b> <b>You know.</b> <b>Yeah, I know that story,</b> <b>but that doesn't prove anything.</b> <b>They complained about an unseen dog</b> <b>whining and scratching at the door,</b> <b>but that wasn't</b> <b>what made them break their lease.</b> <b>It was the cold up in the boys room.</b> <b>You could feel it in your bones.</b> <b>A deathly cold.</b> <b>The walls were always damp</b> <b>and stained with seawater.</b> <b>Whatever caused it,</b> <b>the thing came back every night.</b> <b>Did you ever see it, Mrs.

Ellis?</b> <b>It's been many years</b> <b>since I've seen anything.</b> <b>Oh, yeah.</b> <b>I'm sorry.

I keep forgetting it.</b> <b>Did anybody see.</b> <b>People say they found</b> <b>wet seaweed on the boys bed?</b> <b>What would you get?</b> <b>Call a wet seaweed.

A ghost can.</b> <b>Tom, what's wrong?</b> <b>Why do you ask that?</b> <b>You're running away from something.</b> <b>Well, Tom.</b> <b>Well,</b> <b>something I.</b> <b>I can't believe exist myself.</b> <b>If it does exist,</b> <b>you can't solve anything by running.</b> <b>Then on the other hand,</b> <b>if it doesn't exist,</b> <b>there's nothing to run from.</b> <b>You're a very wise woman, Marcellus.</b> <b>Thanks for talking to me</b> <b>on.

Thanks for the flowers.</b> <b>Have beautiful.</b> <b>Come back soon.</b> <b>I go away.</b> <b>No, Leave me alone.</b> <b>No, Tom,</b> <b>you go home.</b> <b>Go and go out.</b> <b>Oh, I appreciate your help.</b> <b>I know.</b> <b>I look up</b> <b>by midnight</b> <b>to you.</b> <b>No, no, no.

Go away.

You're dead.</b> <b>Leave me.

Alone.

Never mind.</b> <b>I'll always.</b> <b>Ow, ow, ow,</b> <b>ow, ow, ow!</b> <b>Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow!</b> <b>Say, you mean to say that</b> <b>by by?</b> <b>You can't hear me, kid,</b> <b>because you don't even exist.</b> <b>You're a shadow.</b> <b>Perhaps</b> <b>light, perhaps</b> <b>nothing more.</b> <b>But just in case you can hear me,</b> <b>I've come to tell you this.</b> <b>I'm not going to pay</b> <b>any attention to you anymore.</b> <b>You had to live my life right here.</b> <b>I'm going to stop running.</b> <b>And I'm going to marry Meg by.</b> <b>I'm going to marry Meg.</b> <b>When the time came to say</b> <b>it was going to be just as though</b> <b>you never existed.</b> <b>I'm going to marry Meg,</b> <b>just in case you can hear me by Goodnight</b> <b>and goodbye.</b> <b>No one will ever have you,</b> <b>Helen.</b> <b>Welcome back.</b> <b>I hope you're enjoying whatever movie</b> <b>it is we're showing tonight.</b> <b>I forgot.</b> <b>I seem to be here alone.</b> <b>I know</b> <b>Mittens was going off to get groomed.</b> <b>I don't know where else,</b> <b>I guess.

Come on, pal.

Just.</b> <b>Just keep moving.

Just keep moving.</b> <b>Hey, boss.

I caught a whistle.</b> <b>British theater out in the parking lot.</b> <b>I don't know who this guy is.</b> <b>Whistle</b> <b>This is no whistle breeches, No whistle.</b> <b>BRIDGES This is actor Alex Hyde White.</b> <b>What are you doing here?

Alex's here?</b> <b>Yeah, that guy.</b> <b>Well, this In the fall of 1988,</b> <b>I got break.</b> <b>That started a great.

Deal of work.</b> <b>Did you?

For the fall?</b> <b>That's a good one.</b> <b>That's a good one.

Roger Corman</b> <b>you've heard of?

Yeah.</b> <b>Concord, New Horizons.

Are very well.</b> <b>Well, what.</b> <b>Studio saying studio here in parentheses</b> <b>as this actually was a lot</b> <b>in the old home of Venice Lumber.</b> <b>This is a good book.</b> <b>I found it.

Found it.

Did you?</b> <b>So, Alex, let's talk</b> <b>a little bit about that, because it was a</b> <b>you started working with Roger Corman,</b> <b>which.</b> <b>I got my early breaks.

Yes.</b> <b>It's sort of a bad word around here,</b> <b>but after the movies we've seen from him.</b> <b>But but one of the big turning points</b> <b>in your life, in your career</b> <b>and sort of a moment,</b> <b>that kind of was a blessing and a curse,</b> <b>I guess, was when Roger Corman decided</b> <b>he was making the Fantastic Four.</b> <b>So can you tell us a little bit</b> <b>about how you got involved with that?</b> <b>I'd done a couple of films.</b> <b>In fact,</b> <b>I was just stumbled upon that section.</b> <b>I'd done a couple of films for Roger</b> <b>in the early days, some, you know, kind of</b> <b>late eighties.</b> <b>It was one was called Time Trackers.</b> <b>It was kind of a Willow knockoff.</b> <b>Roger Corman kind of made his Oh, yes,</b> <b>we have Mad Men.</b> <b>I'm sorry about the whistle breeches.</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>You know, No, I think that's fine.</b> <b>Thank you.</b> <b>I'm Roger</b> <b>sort of was very good at taking popular</b> <b>films and making sort of, you know,</b> <b>drive in bootleg versions of him.</b> <b>And I was so close to getting</b> <b>the part of Mad Mart again in Willow</b> <b>that obviously went to Val,</b> <b>who really deserved it</b> <b>right in the beginning</b> <b>that when the chance to do Time</b> <b>trackers came along, it was right</b> <b>in my right, right up right up my alley.</b> <b>So I was thankful for Roger.</b> <b>He'd given me some nice parts,</b> <b>and when Fantastic Four came along,</b> <b>they needed to do it in a hurry.</b> <b>And I'm kind of good at one audition</b> <b>with a couple of people who are</b> <b>who are the decision makers.</b> <b>And it came together very quickly.</b> <b>And, you know, it further reinforced</b> <b>the fact that I've, you know,</b> <b>spent most of my career giving mediocre</b> <b>performances in lousy films.</b> <b>So, you know, Yeah.</b> <b>So let's talk a</b> <b>little bit about the making of that film,</b> <b>because you guys really put your heart</b> <b>and soul into making that movie.</b> <b>And then things didn't</b> <b>go as you had planned.</b> <b>The funny thing about the Fantastic Four</b> <b>is it probably is a better story</b> <b>because it was never released</b> <b>in the conventional way,</b> <b>you know, because it was made as like it</b> <b>said, like almost like a bootleg version</b> <b>of what it could become.</b> <b>And it was intended to be good enough</b> <b>to kindle, rekindle or,</b> <b>create interest in a major version,</b> <b>but not good enough to be released</b> <b>and stand on its own feet.</b> <b>And it kind of that's where it lived.</b> <b>And Roger Corman being such a savvy guy,</b> <b>you know, he's going to make a movie,</b> <b>is going to use short ends.</b> <b>He's going to use creaky sets,</b> <b>but it's going to come out</b> <b>just to the point where, you know,</b> <b>it might be worth releasing.</b> <b>You know, it's like right about here,</b> <b>you see.

Yeah.</b> <b>If it can get through here,</b> <b>then he'll release it.</b> <b>And, you know, he made his whole</b> <b>he made his whole reputation on it.</b> <b>He never lost a dime on a movie,</b> <b>even the one that didn't get released</b> <b>because he got paid to, to make it.</b> <b>And Christopher Columbus</b> <b>inherited the project at Fox</b> <b>and very clever producers.</b> <b>They sort of used our movie as a leverage</b> <b>point, almost like blackmail.</b> <b>If you don't make the Fantastic Four,</b> <b>we're going to release this.</b> <b>One that blackmailed</b> <b>a lot of people.

Have each of you?

Yes.</b> <b>Yes.

I never got a movie made with it.</b> <b>Eventually got myself in trouble.</b> <b>But you had fun at the time.</b> <b>But you know, the Fantastic Four lives on</b> <b>and it started in infamy.</b> <b>But, you know, they've had they've had</b> <b>great trouble with that franchise.</b> <b>And so, you know, I'm thankful.</b> <b>It was weird.</b> <b>You know, you never know in this business</b> <b>as an actor or filmmaker, a creative man,</b> <b>maybe of any of any sort, you never know</b> <b>the validity of a of your of your work.</b> <b>You're you never really know.</b> <b>It's up to the to the audience.</b> <b>You know it's like a live show.</b> <b>It's up to the audience</b> <b>to tell you if it was any good or not.</b> <b>And it doesn't have to go perfect.</b> <b>So it was a great lesson</b> <b>in, like you say, lead with your heart.</b> <b>And I that's a very important thing</b> <b>for an actor to do.</b> <b>We, we, we we can get sidetracked</b> <b>by trying to lead with the brain,</b> <b>by trying to figure everything out.</b> <b>But the best</b> <b>the best things happen from the heart.</b> <b>And did you because the film, you know,</b> <b>obviously was never released</b> <b>And then</b> <b>but it did start showing up in bootleg</b> <b>versions at conventions</b> <b>and things like that.

And you guys did</b> <b>some conventions, in fact.</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>And did did the fans respond to you there?</b> <b>Did you get that positive feedback there</b> <b>from the conventions?</b> <b>You know,</b> <b>I was like a grassroots discovering</b> <b>where what what the where the message hit.</b> <b>It was really very interesting.</b> <b>And the one thing about Roger,</b> <b>which is always, as I'll always say,</b> <b>that, you know, it was never, never</b> <b>necessarily intended to be buried,</b> <b>is that he gave me 100</b> <b>no 1000 publicity stills to go out</b> <b>and we went to New York.</b> <b>We went to some comic book conventions,</b> <b>we went to fan conventions,</b> <b>and we did a thing that is the lifeblood</b> <b>of any traveling troupe or performer.</b> <b>We went out on the road</b> <b>and found an audience,</b> <b>and the audience were around</b> <b>comic book stores, or they would</b> <b>they would seek us out.</b> <b>All we had to do was sort of advertising</b> <b>camp, and we'd have a line of two or 300.</b> <b>We showed a trailer of the film</b> <b>and then it would start to show up</b> <b>in convention locations</b> <b>and you'd go over $10, you buy a bootleg,</b> <b>and you know, it was lousy</b> <b>because we're second or third generation.</b> <b>But, you know, funnily enough,</b> <b>our wonderful director who lives</b> <b>in New Orleans, only</b> <b>somehow he</b> <b>found he got himself a copy of the film,</b> <b>what at that time was with 94,</b> <b>a high resolution and copy.</b> <b>I think it was called</b> <b>VHS, see or not even three quarter.</b> <b>And that somehow became DVD and Blu ray.</b> <b>And so now you look at the film</b> <b>and it's actually pretty</b> <b>you know, it's a pretty good quality.</b> <b>It's a crazy story,</b> <b>you know, And it's it identifies me</b> <b>so much in terms of</b> <b>you never know where lightning's</b> <b>going to strike, You know, sometimes.</b> <b>Sometimes it kills you, sometimes</b> <b>it gooses your fries or or inspires you.</b> <b>But for a while there, it was something</b> <b>that we were supposed to be I wouldn't say</b> <b>ashamed of, but that we weren't supposed</b> <b>to be sort of proud of it, you know?</b> <b>And the industry has grown up.</b> <b>The ability to make independent films</b> <b>has become, so I would say democratized,</b> <b>that this individual, a work stands out,</b> <b>I think, just as much because it's flawed.</b> <b>And the original Fantastic Four are,</b> <b>you know, they're nothing</b> <b>if not kind of flawed characters</b> <b>in search of of their place in the world.</b> <b>And so I hope that</b> <b>Fox which I guess</b> <b>Disney probably owns it now</b> <b>it would be wonderful for Disney Marvel</b> <b>to sort of maybe try to incorporate</b> <b>that kind of element in the story.</b> <b>Don't try to make everything so good.</b> <b>They'd be a bunch of misfits.</b> <b>And of course</b> <b>you've come.

To the right place, you.</b> <b>Come to the right place.</b> <b>And of course, you know, you need to have</b> <b>some of the original cast.</b> <b>Yes, of course.</b> <b>I mean, well, in a role</b> <b>as maybe a scientist or something.</b> <b>I think that.

Guy walks around</b> <b>parking lots.</b> <b>You can find some.</b> <b>Yeah, a guy guy rides around parking lots,</b> <b>a guy just reading his book.</b> <b>I mean, you know, I'm writing a book</b> <b>about the Fantastic Four,</b> <b>and I'd like to interview you, Mr.</b> <b>Richards.

Well, yes, please.</b> <b>Come on.</b> <b>It's a bit of a stretch,</b> <b>but I think we could make it work.</b> <b>Well, thank, Alex.</b> <b>I'm sorry that I'll have accosted</b> <b>you in the hallway, but</b> <b>let's</b> <b>make sure we show everyone the book</b> <b>so they can go out and get their own copy.</b> <b>Nice to meet.

You.</b> <b>Thank you.

Called in the volume.</b> <b>My Life in film and TV.</b> <b>And the volume is,</b> <b>in fact, a digital term that they use</b> <b>now for motion capture filmmaking.</b> <b>You're no longer just in the shot,</b> <b>you're either in the volume or in my case,</b> <b>when I'm done.</b> <b>They say, Alex, can you just get out</b> <b>of the volume, please?</b> <b>Because we need it.</b> <b>Well, thank you so much, Alex.</b> <b>We're going to we're going to get back</b> <b>to this film here on Nightmare Theater.</b> <b>And it's probably not even going to be</b> <b>as good as the Fantastic Four.</b> <b>But but we're going to watch it anyway.</b> <b>Just get back to the film.

Am I in No.</b> <b>Portugal, pal?

Come on.

Come on.</b> <b>Don't release the dogs on him this time.</b> <b>Don't release it.</b> <b>Wow.

Hi.</b> <b>It's Coke in the refrigerator.</b> <b>Help yourself.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>What is.</b> <b>That you wanted to say about.</b> <b>I?

You know,</b> <b>I wondered</b> <b>if you'd talk to your sister Meg, for me.</b> <b>Tell her how sorry I am.</b> <b>Okay?</b> <b>You tell her I behaved like a little boy,</b> <b>and I'm ashamed of myself.</b> <b>I'll tell her.</b> <b>She didn't call anything off.</b> <b>She didn't.</b> <b>I guess she swore to make up</b> <b>just like grown ups.</b> <b>You are ready?

Yeah.</b> <b>I'm already got the ring and everything.</b> <b>Be said.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>Oh, okay.</b> <b>Go back.</b> <b>Make sure.</b> <b>Rocky.</b> <b>Can I try.</b> <b>To?

Sure.</b> <b>I really want one of my own.</b> <b>Well,</b> <b>you might be just a little bit young.</b> <b>I know.</b> <b>Dear little Sam, she's just a child.

What?</b> <b>Do you know how old I am?</b> <b>Practically nine.</b> <b>In China and Borneo in India.</b> <b>Places like that.</b> <b>Girls already have husbands at my age.</b> <b>I get married tomorrow.</b> <b>If I could find someone like you.</b> <b>Can't I?</b> <b>Please try.</b> <b>I just put it on your finger.</b> <b>What am I thinking.

There in.</b> <b>The ring?</b> <b>I managed to drop it</b> <b>Couldn't for fun.</b> <b>It's got to be somewhere</b> <b>70 off.

Off?</b> <b>What time?</b> <b>That right there.</b> <b>This good thing there.</b> <b>Sandy.</b> <b>Sandy, tell me the truth.</b> <b>Didn't you see anything right there?</b> <b>There wasn't anything to see</b> <b>you hurt.</b> <b>I'm sorry,</b> <b>but I'll find everything later.</b> <b>You run along now.

Sandy.</b> <b>I finished my practicing.</b> <b>I see you later.</b> <b>Bye.

Bye.</b> <b>I know now you've come back,</b> <b>but it won't do you any good.</b> <b>Because I'm going to marry Meg.</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>What to do with the ring by VI?</b> <b>What did you do with that ring?</b> <b>I don't understand what you're going.</b> <b>Oh, right now.</b> <b>What questions?</b> <b>You know what's wrong with you, boy?</b> <b>You've been working too hard</b> <b>getting ready for your concert.</b> <b>Had a lonely life here on the island</b> <b>with my musician friends.</b> <b>I'm getting it down,</b> <b>but I'll take care of all that once</b> <b>we're married.</b> <b>Maybe you better tell your mother</b> <b>that the wedding is on again.</b> <b>I never told her it was all.</b> <b>You're pretty sure of yourself,</b> <b>aren't you?</b> <b>You know, the first thing you're going to</b> <b>do is have a long vacation,</b> <b>a whole month honeymoon in Europe?

Uh huh.</b> <b>You know how many hit records</b> <b>I'd have to sell to pay for that?</b> <b>Dad's putting the bill to his wedding</b> <b>present too.</b> <b>If He wanted to tell you himself, but</b> <b>he won't be here to write for the wedding.</b> <b>And when we get back,</b> <b>we're going to have a big party</b> <b>so I can get to know all your friends.</b> <b>Big party.</b> <b>We'll be living in a three room apartment.</b> <b>Mother and Daddy.

What?</b> <b>Mind if we use their house in Bel Air?</b> <b>They say now that I'm getting married,</b> <b>it's too big for them anyway, so</b> <b>I'll be turning it over to us</b> <b>for good.

One of these days.</b> <b>Are you trying to spoil me?</b> <b>It's nothing I'd like better.</b> <b>Come on up the house.</b> <b>The minute I want you to think something.</b> <b>Put my wedding gown in.</b> <b>That's supposed to be bad luck.</b> <b>You're not superstitious about things</b> <b>like that, are you?</b> <b>No.

I'm not superstitious.</b> <b>My garden's full of roses this month,</b> <b>and it seemed about time</b> <b>to bring you some fresh ones.

So.</b> <b>Hi.

Hello.

Welcome.</b> <b>No stranger.</b> <b>Have you been keeping lady?</b> <b>It's a beautiful gift to have arrived.</b> <b>And you haven't seen any of it.</b> <b>Look at this.</b> <b>Look, you're a dear.

Anyway.

Champagne.</b> <b>Fix your drink.

Hm?</b> <b>Look.</b> <b>Another one.</b> <b>Oh, there's my girl,</b> <b>my pal.

Hi.</b> <b>It's everything made up your neck.</b> <b>Well, I'm working on it.</b> <b>Hi, Miss Elliot.

Tom.</b> <b>Another pair.</b> <b>People must think newlyweds</b> <b>live on lettuce by candlelight.</b> <b>This makes nine pairs of candlesticks</b> <b>and 12 salad bowl and more coming</b> <b>every time the mail boat arrives.</b> <b>Got our wedding.</b> <b>Got a day in, Tom.

It's simply a dream.</b> <b>What a bride goes through</b> <b>to make herself attractive for you men.</b> <b>It took three fittings to get the bodice</b> <b>right</b> <b>and three layers of knit</b> <b>to make the skirt full enough.</b> <b>Hardly Seems worth it.</b> <b>After all, I'm only marrying her.</b> <b>So you'll be my mother in law.</b> <b>Sandy.</b> <b>See if there's a window open.</b> <b>There's a cold draft.</b> <b>All of a sudden,</b> <b>that sweet smell</b> <b>must be the fresh roses.</b> <b>My roses never smelled like that.</b> <b>It's a woman's perfume.</b> <b>Help me make room for these, dear.</b> <b>In my day, it wasn't candlesticks.</b> <b>It was teaspoons.</b> <b>Mr.

Hubbard and I received no less</b> <b>than 78 of them when we were married.</b> <b>I think that's a reason for his attitude.</b> <b>When he went back to the mainland, he said</b> <b>he was going to go right to the office</b> <b>and stay there until the wedding.</b> <b>I'm sure you'll</b> <b>never treat your wife like that</b> <b>with your town or with you.</b> <b>He isn't committed.</b> <b>Where is he?</b> <b>I think led to come to look at her</b> <b>dress and.</b> <b>My wedding dress.</b> <b>What is it?</b> <b>What did she find?</b> <b>Seaweed.</b> <b>Hello and welcome back.</b> <b>It's getting real spooky.</b> <b>Look up in that.

Lighthouse</b> <b>it and I'll.

Never know it.</b> <b>Sure is.

Remember Sapo?</b> <b>Ghosts are nothing to be afraid of.</b> <b>Don't bother them</b> <b>and they won't bother you.</b> <b>But if you do bother them, watch out.</b> <b>They're going to get their revenge.</b> <b>Bus or ghost real.</b> <b>Do you think this guy has the guilty news</b> <b>or is there really a ghost up there</b> <b>hating him?

It's difficult to say.

Really.</b> <b>The main difficulty</b> <b>is that I really just don't care.</b> <b>But if I did care,</b> <b>I'd say what passes for a ghost</b> <b>is probably just the manifestations</b> <b>of his guilty conscience.</b> <b>He knows that he caused that woman's death</b> <b>and he it's eating away at him.</b> <b>Guilt has many impacts on health</b> <b>and sanity supper, but.</b> <b>It could be ghost or spooks</b> <b>or some other member of the supernatural.</b> <b>World.

It's usually just guilt.</b> <b>Normal people feel remorse or sadness</b> <b>and regret when they do something bad</b> <b>and their mind plays tricks on them.</b> <b>But it could be ghosts.</b> <b>I mean, I guess whatever.</b> <b>Sure, it would be great, you know,</b> <b>if someone came up with a way to determine</b> <b>if your house really was painted</b> <b>or if it was just your guilty conscience</b> <b>getting to you.</b> <b>I guess so.</b> <b>You know, I said it would be great</b> <b>if someone had a way to let you know</b> <b>if your house was really heated by a ghost</b> <b>or by something you did in the past.</b> <b>If someone could invent</b> <b>something like that.</b> <b>No, no, no, no.

Kool-Aid, folks.</b> <b>Since at least 1959, people</b> <b>have asked themselves, what's the deal</b> <b>with those weird creaking sounds</b> <b>in my house settling foundation?

Why?</b> <b>Why is this so cold in one room</b> <b>and so hot in the other?</b> <b>Bad insulation, uneven heat flow,</b> <b>bad seals on the windows?</b> <b>What's up with that smell?</b> <b>You know.</b> <b>Good.

Well, I.</b> <b>Cause that smell,</b> <b>there's always a logical answer,</b> <b>especially when you're around.

Yes.</b> <b>Sometimes it can be hard to determine</b> <b>if your house is actually heated.</b> <b>Until now.</b> <b>Oh, no.

I should have seen this coming.</b> <b>Yeah, you're right.</b> <b>I should have stopped him</b> <b>before he got started.</b> <b>There's no stopping him Once the caffeine</b> <b>and the horseradish kicks in.</b> <b>Best to just ignore him</b> <b>and let him finish.</b> <b>Returns.

Yeah.</b> <b>Scientists working in the psychology</b> <b>Supernatural studies department</b> <b>at Van Doren University.</b> <b>That's not a real place.</b> <b>Have finally come up with a way</b> <b>to determine once and for all, is it guilt</b> <b>or is it a ghost?</b> <b>Put that down.

And in this.</b> <b>And using technology</b> <b>on loan from the Franklin Mint.</b> <b>The Franklin Mint through a generous,</b> <b>a very generous grant</b> <b>from the National Beef Council,</b> <b>we have created and this is a beta version</b> <b>of the wandering guilt</b> <b>or ghost gauge nonsense.</b> <b>Absolute gibberish.</b> <b>No, no, no, no.

Stop it.</b> <b>Oh You have to do is take this into</b> <b>the room that you suspect is haunted or be</b> <b>spook ified, if you will, may be plagued</b> <b>by the impacts of something you did.</b> <b>You wave it around.</b> <b>It samples the air through the portal it</b> <b>and it measures the tension in your skin.</b> <b>And it determines with 89%</b> <b>yes, 89% certainty if you have a ghost</b> <b>or if it's something you did.</b> <b>Oh, it's it lit up that that's what</b> <b>that's weird.</b> <b>It lit up when I waved in front of me.</b> <b>Ten.

You see the.</b> <b>Notice that thing seems to go off</b> <b>whenever you touch.</b> <b>You might be taking like a short</b> <b>in a wire or something</b> <b>wrong with the operating system.</b> <b>Or perhaps</b> <b>just perhaps you're guilty of something.</b> <b>I was pure as the driven snow.</b> <b>I have never even said a swear word out</b> <b>loud.</b> <b>That is.</b> <b>Maybe you are.

Haunted.

That could be.</b> <b>I do hear voices sometimes.</b> <b>Maybe there's a ghost loose in my innards.</b> <b>Maybe this is just a cheap piece of junk.</b> <b>Saffo Don't look</b> <b>for the supernatural explanation.</b> <b>Don't to come up with crazy tie ins</b> <b>for every movie we show.</b> <b>The explanation here is simple</b> <b>The man killed her.</b> <b>He's a criminal.</b> <b>And believe me, criminals</b> <b>always get their comeuppance.</b> <b>Always, Always.</b> <b>Folks, let's get back to Joe.</b> <b>Rented here on Nightmare Theater.</b> <b>Still lighting up.</b> <b>Tom?

Yes, Mrs.</b> <b>Alice.</b> <b>And then here.</b> <b>I brought you some.</b> <b>Honey,</b> <b>don't get up.</b> <b>I'll just put it on the bar.

Here.</b> <b>Thank you, Mrs.</b> <b>Alice.</b> <b>I really brought the honey</b> <b>only as an excuse</b> <b>because I knew you were upset.</b> <b>Tom, there's nothing supernatural</b> <b>about what happened to Meg's dress.</b> <b>There must be a logical explanation.</b> <b>I know, I know.</b> <b>That's seaweed.</b> <b>It's just like that, Samuels boy.</b> <b>Have been no recent deaths, Tom.

No.</b> <b>Anyway, I'm sure of one thing.</b> <b>I've had enough of her.</b> <b>Who are you talking about?</b> <b>Oh, I'm</b> <b>a friend.</b> <b>I used to have a girl named VI.</b> <b>She came over here to the island</b> <b>to see me,</b> <b>but we quarreled up in the lighthouse.</b> <b>Well, at any rate,</b> <b>she went back to the mainland.</b> <b>Are you sure that's what happened?</b> <b>What do you mean?</b> <b>Am I sure.</b> <b>That maybe she didn't</b> <b>go back to the mainland?</b> <b>Maybe This girl VI, is still here</b> <b>and is playing tricks to get even.</b> <b>Now, where do you suppose</b> <b>a woman can hide on this island</b> <b>who's hiding?</b> <b>Never mind, Sandy.</b> <b>Things will work out.</b> <b>You'll see.</b> <b>Never met Stella.</b> <b>Well, people I found.</b> <b>Never mind.</b> <b>Because there are some things</b> <b>that grownups don't want children to know</b> <b>about Sandy.</b> <b>Those are always the most interesting</b> <b>things</b> <b>girls come looking for.</b> <b>Never mind.</b> <b>That is looking for it.</b> <b>So I have always hanging around there.</b> <b>The lighthouse is a very dangerous place,</b> <b>Sandy.</b> <b>It'll soon be torn down.</b> <b>That doesn't keep people from going there.</b> <b>But you mustn't go there, Sandy.

Not ever</b> <b>run along home.</b> <b>Now, come on, Frank.</b> <b>What's</b> <b>the matter, Fritz?</b> <b>I'm surprised at you.</b> <b>You're being as silly as Tom.</b> <b>Well, it's</b> <b>all right.</b> <b>I'll go.

Alone.

Oh.</b> <b>Oh, well,</b> <b>young lady.</b> <b>Young lady.

By.</b> <b>That's a lovely perfume you're wearing.</b> <b>It's no use.</b> <b>I know you're in here somewhere,</b> <b>but I can hear you too.</b> <b>Don't you think it's ridiculous to hide?</b> <b>Come down.</b> <b>There's something I want to say to you.</b> <b>Very well.</b> <b>If you won't,</b> <b>then I'll go up and find you.</b> <b>Listen to me, please.</b> <b>I don't usually give people advice,</b> <b>but Tom is a dear friend,</b> <b>and I want to ask you to leave him alone.</b> <b>Are you listening to me?</b> <b>You might at least have the politeness</b> <b>to answer</b> <b>by that.</b> <b>A nasty laugh you have.</b> <b>What folks are you up to now?</b> <b>Wait.</b> <b>Listen to me.</b> <b>You know you're worrying</b> <b>and frightening, Tom.</b> <b>After death,</b> <b>it's not hard to sense</b> <b>how desperate he's getting.</b> <b>I know Meg doesn't concern you,</b> <b>but you wouldn't</b> <b>want to make an innocent person</b> <b>suffer, would you?</b> <b>I would.</b> <b>I should speak more clearly.</b> <b>You're</b> <b>trying to make me sorry for you,</b> <b>I suppose.</b> <b>But I can't help thinking</b> <b>how foolish you are playing</b> <b>this absurd game.</b> <b>That's Hitler.</b> <b>Let me talk to you.

Please.</b> <b>You've caused those two people</b> <b>all the unhappiness you need to know.</b> <b>It's time you stopped.</b> <b>You don't belong here, you know.</b> <b>Why don't you leave</b> <b>Tom and Meg alone and go</b> <b>back?</b> <b>What are you saying?</b> <b>I can't hear you.</b> <b>What a fiend you are.</b> <b>You're not fooling me.</b> <b>I know exactly what you are.</b> <b>Hello and welcome back.</b> <b>Torment.</b> <b>It is what it is, folks.</b> <b>But what do you make of it?</b> <b>Suppose I wasn't even watching this thing.</b> <b>Why not?</b> <b>I was flipping the channels</b> <b>on one of the TV's in the kitchen</b> <b>and I found something.</b> <b>Something in the kitchen.</b> <b>Did you bring enough for.</b> <b>All of us?

No,</b> <b>I found something on the TV.</b> <b>I taped.</b> <b>And I got to tell you, it's</b> <b>starting to scare me.</b> <b>Boss, Is that.</b> <b>Is it that commercial with the talking</b> <b>cat again?</b> <b>I told you a thousand times.

It's</b> <b>not real.</b> <b>It's just special effects.</b> <b>Oh, no, it's worse than that.</b> <b>Scary talking cat.</b> <b>Take a look at this, boss.</b> <b>I got it all cued up.</b> <b>Me press this.</b> <b>Greetings, fellow sleuth.</b> <b>My name is Dr.

Luft.</b> <b>W Sinclair, Certified for knowledge,</b> <b>just modern dance instructor</b> <b>and duly authorized county</b> <b>agricultural agent.</b> <b>I can help you read</b> <b>the strange bumps on your neighbor's</b> <b>head, learn new dance steps,</b> <b>and tell you the right</b> <b>balance to make sure your winter beats</b> <b>are their absolute reddest colony.</b> <b>I have free hangouts from Google Plus</b> <b>folks.</b> <b>I could spend a lifetime</b> <b>telling which bumps on a man's head</b> <b>divined him as a jaywalker</b> <b>or the proper way to do the Watusi</b> <b>or about how John Lloyd's</b> <b>method of crop</b> <b>rotation was in the 14th century.</b> <b>But tonight, Tonight, my friends,</b> <b>I am focusing my monumental</b> <b>mind on a torn from today's headlines.</b> <b>Crime.</b> <b>A great man once said the weed.

Of.</b> <b>Crime bears bitter fruit.</b> <b>As an agricultural agent,</b> <b>I can make that food that's bitter,</b> <b>perhaps even as sweet as the.</b> <b>Sweet as.

Candy.</b> <b>But crime is horrible</b> <b>no matter how the fruit tastes.</b> <b>And I have taken it upon myself</b> <b>to expose dastardly criminals.</b> <b>Tonight on I Is on Crime.</b> <b>I focus my watchful eye</b> <b>on a devious fugitive</b> <b>who has been running from</b> <b>justice for almost 30 years.</b> <b>I'm going to expose him for who he is.</b> <b>Tonight on this very program.</b> <b>Oh, it's just this nut again.</b> <b>I thought you said</b> <b>he was talking about you.</b> <b>Just keep watching.</b> <b>We press this button again.</b> <b>Here are the facts.</b> <b>Fact The first well-known underworld</b> <b>figure of Salvador Sappi boy de pistol</b> <b>vanished in 1950,</b> <b>just days before he was supposed</b> <b>to testify against his will.</b> <b>Before they keep our committee,</b> <b>here is the last known photo</b> <b>of which was taken</b> <b>while he was in the Atlanta</b> <b>Federal Prison.</b> <b>He escaped the night before</b> <b>he was supposed to testify.</b> <b>Just look at this miscreant.</b> <b>Look at that ghastly, misshapen</b> <b>head back the second,</b> <b>despite a massive manhunt</b> <b>involving law enforcement agencies</b> <b>from 20 states and eight countries,</b> <b>no trace of his body was ever found.</b> <b>In fact, the third, a mere three days</b> <b>after the pistol appeared,</b> <b>a masked man calling himself</b> <b>El Sapo de Tim</b> <b>Pesto was hired by the Baron Mondo</b> <b>Van Doren as his personal manservant.</b> <b>Can you not see it, folks?</b> <b>Sappi Boy and Sapo</b> <b>DiPesto and De Tim Pesto.</b> <b>Is it not obvious?</b> <b>DiPesto And El Sapo are one and the same.</b> <b>El Sapo</b> <b>has the bulbous head of a racketeer</b> <b>and the sloping forehead of a union</b> <b>busting.</b> <b>Just look for yourself.</b> <b>See, they are the same man.</b> <b>He wears a mask</b> <b>so we can't see the bumps on his head</b> <b>that betray his criminal nature.</b> <b>Sure, he conducts himself as a bumbling,</b> <b>hapless buffoon.</b> <b>But make no mistake, he is really one</b> <b>of the most devious and cunning leaders</b> <b>of a murderous criminal syndicate,</b> <b>an escaped fugitive from justice.</b> <b>And I will bring him in.</b> <b>But does that man claim</b> <b>that I'm some kind of Mafia pin king?</b> <b>It's Kingpin and Sapo.</b> <b>No one, literally no one, is going</b> <b>to mistake you for a criminal mastermind.</b> <b>Wait, because there's more.</b> <b>Let me push this button one last time.</b> <b>Listen, my friends,</b> <b>we must work together</b> <b>to bring in this vile reprobate.</b> <b>SAPO simply cannot be the bumbling,</b> <b>stumbling oaf he pretends to be.</b> <b>Have you noticed?</b> <b>He never seems to have the movie prepared?</b> <b>So he comes up with some crazy story</b> <b>about where he's been?</b> <b>No man is that inept.</b> <b>It's an act, a charade.</b> <b>Whenever he doesn't have a movie,</b> <b>it is because he was out consorting</b> <b>with his criminal friends.</b> <b>They were probably planning</b> <b>truck hijackings</b> <b>or maybe even some sort of fake</b> <b>blue gene scheme.</b> <b>Well, this ain't.

Good, boss.</b> <b>Just turn that thing</b> <b>off.

Don't worry about that guy.</b> <b>You haven't done anything to be worried</b> <b>about, have you, Sapo?</b> <b>Uh, no, boss.

Stop.</b> <b>I swear, Sapo.</b> <b>That guy's just a windbag babbling the TV.</b> <b>No one pays attention to people like that.</b> <b>Maybe you're right, boss,</b> <b>but I'm still worried.</b> <b>Of course I am.

So just relax and take it</b> <b>easy.</b> <b>Let's get back to the movie</b> <b>that was.

Maybe.</b> <b>Maybe that will take your mind off</b> <b>of things.</b> <b>We're showing the movie tonight.</b> <b>I'll chalk that up to your anxiety.</b> <b>Why don't you let me hold that remote.</b> <b>Folks.</b> <b>Let's get back to the tormented</b> <b>here on Nightmare Theater.</b> <b>It's not fair.</b> <b>You're getting the party from the husband.</b> <b>I get nothing.</b> <b>Be nice to me, Pina.</b> <b>Two more days.

I'll be a married woman.</b> <b>And you miss me?</b> <b>I'll miss Tom Moore.</b> <b>Sandy,</b> <b>How's my family?</b> <b>Ready.</b> <b>Am I too early or too late?</b> <b>I'm so happy you made it in time.</b> <b>You don't think I'd let my daughter Mary</b> <b>without her favorite father being around</b> <b>now, do you?</b> <b>Well, roll up your sleeves</b> <b>and pitch in the party</b> <b>right after tomorrow's rehearsal.</b> <b>Hi, honey.

Right.</b> <b>Where is the groom?</b> <b>He's not feeling well.</b> <b>What's the matter with him?</b> <b>He's been over working.</b> <b>At the piano, I suppose.</b> <b>Please don't start that again.</b> <b>It's bad enough to accept a musician</b> <b>into this family, but a jazz musician</b> <b>is asking too damn much.</b> <b>Why don't you go to bed, dear?</b> <b>You must be tired.</b> <b>What's the matter with a jazz musician?</b> <b>Be still brat.</b> <b>Poor Tom.</b> <b>Inadequate.</b> <b>Can't you hear of something?</b> <b>I asked</b> <b>if you live here in the lighthouse?</b> <b>No, on the island.</b> <b>On the island?</b> <b>Why do you want to know?</b> <b>Look, kid, I really don't care.</b> <b>I'm looking for a guy called Tom Stewart.</b> <b>You know him?</b> <b>What do you want him for?</b> <b>He won 200,000 a sweepstakes ticket.</b> <b>I'm here to give him the money.</b> <b>I don't believe you.</b> <b>Look, kid, you know where he lives.</b> <b>What you looking for, Dad?</b> <b>Not much to see out there, huh?</b> <b>Oh, wow.</b> <b>This is a crazy pad.</b> <b>I you lost money.</b> <b>Oh, man, this sure is.</b> <b>You know, wait a minute.</b> <b>What is this?</b> <b>Look, I don't want another new dad.</b> <b>I really don't.</b> <b>She owes me a fine,</b> <b>that's all I thought it'd be nice to have.</b> <b>What are you talking about?

No sweat.</b> <b>I don't want nothing from you.</b> <b>She owes me a fin, that's all.</b> <b>Wow.

You sure have a nice pad.</b> <b>Oh, look,</b> <b>I don't mean to be rude, but you'll either</b> <b>have to tell me what you're talking about</b> <b>to get out of here.</b> <b>The blond, the one with the.</b> <b>She owes me some bread, that's all.</b> <b>It's not going to get bugged about.</b> <b>What she does.

Here is your business.</b> <b>I can see a degree.</b> <b>Look, I motor this check</b> <b>via Mason over to the island.</b> <b>I got a boat now</b> <b>and she asked me if I'd take her.</b> <b>Well, I say okay,</b> <b>but she said she doesn't have the change.</b> <b>This is what said.</b> <b>Okay, so we make a deal.</b> <b>Five bucks over and five bucks back.</b> <b>I look,</b> <b>I haven't the faintest idea</b> <b>who or what you're talking.</b> <b>Look, Dad, all I want is the bread.</b> <b>When she didn't show by morning,</b> <b>I figured I'd been had.</b> <b>And I know she didn't</b> <b>go back on the regular one</b> <b>because I had to put by Jack in.</b> <b>You said no.</b> <b>Now I'm a real square</b> <b>and I didn't remember the name of the guy.</b> <b>She said</b> <b>today.

I remember.</b> <b>How do you like that,</b> <b>Tom Stuart.</b> <b>That's the name of the guy</b> <b>she said when we made the run.</b> <b>So enough of this jazz dad, come on,</b> <b>I have to leave, you know?</b> <b>Well, maybe a better way to run</b> <b>until the chick shows.</b> <b>You'll do nothing of that.</b> <b>All right.</b> <b>I.

Maybe it's worth it.</b> <b>$5 just to get rid of you.

Yeah.</b> <b>There you go.</b> <b>What you do is your business, Dad.</b> <b>All I want is what's coming to me.</b> <b>I'll be right with the missus.</b> <b>Alice,</b> <b>Here you are.</b> <b>Plenty of pickups.

Yes, sir.</b> <b>Plenty of back on.</b> <b>How are you, Mrs.</b> <b>Alice?</b> <b>Well, Mr.

Nelson, it's a very warm day.</b> <b>I think I'll have something like, um,</b> <b>egg salad sandwich</b> <b>and a glass of iced tea with lemon.</b> <b>Don't like sugar in my tea,</b> <b>but plenty of lemon.</b> <b>Well, how about a nice hamburger,</b> <b>a tuna fish salad?</b> <b>What's the matter with your eggs?</b> <b>Oh, was nothing the matter with them?</b> <b>I just don't have any.</b> <b>I've been out of eggs</b> <b>for almost a week now.</b> <b>Kramer's hands to stop me.</b> <b>It's a funny thing.</b> <b>Nothing like this ever have before.</b> <b>Except once</b> <b>about the time of Samuels.

Boy, don't</b> <b>they just have a good line?</b> <b>Would you like a tuna fish salad?</b> <b>Just the iced.</b> <b>I say, Dad, can I have a Coke?</b> <b>Right.</b> <b>I haven't to send out to the mainland,</b> <b>especially to get some eggs</b> <b>for their party.</b> <b>Can't bake a cake without eggs.</b> <b>Speaking of the wedding,</b> <b>are you still there, Sandy?</b> <b>Yes, ma'am.</b> <b>Shouldn't you be at the rehearsal?</b> <b>Oh, I.</b> <b>Can't take it, Mr.</b> <b>Nelson.</b> <b>No, Mr.

Nelson.</b> <b>I wish I could have my sight back</b> <b>long enough to see Tom and Meg married.</b> <b>They must be a lovely couple.</b> <b>I'd give anything to see them</b> <b>all.

A handsome couple.

All right, Tom.</b> <b>Stuart's marrying a beautiful gal,</b> <b>the nicest of families to say that.</b> <b>What did you say?</b> <b>The hand to the guy</b> <b>getting spliced was Tom Stuart.</b> <b>You're all The name is Meg Harvard.</b> <b>And Little Sandy will be</b> <b>standing here to my right</b> <b>next to the bride.</b> <b>And then the groom,</b> <b>of course, to her.

Right.</b> <b>And you'll be standing here.</b> <b>The parents will be in their pews at.</b> <b>May I help you?</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>I want to speak to Tom Stuart.</b> <b>Excuse me.</b> <b>You're interrupting</b> <b>a wedding rehearsal in there.</b> <b>Like I said, Dad, what you do with your</b> <b>business, I mean It's crazy with me.</b> <b>If you want to marry one chick and keep</b> <b>another one on the side for kicks.

Wow.</b> <b>But I feel sort of a responsibility,</b> <b>seeing as how I brought your brought over</b> <b>on my tug.</b> <b>See what I mean.

What are you driving it?</b> <b>Come on, Dad.</b> <b>Don't you know I gave you the money</b> <b>you're after?</b> <b>What more do you want?</b> <b>Well, it seems that our deal is in line</b> <b>for some renegotiation.</b> <b>Well, hurry.</b> <b>We're waiting for you.</b> <b>Yeah, go ahead back.</b> <b>We'll pick it up later.</b> <b>Time.

I got plenty of.</b> <b>Hello and welcome back.</b> <b>I hope you guys out there are having</b> <b>a better night than we are.</b> <b>This movie is bad.</b> <b>Really bad.</b> <b>It has not been a good night, boss.

Nope.</b> <b>Say no.</b> <b>Make it better.</b> <b>Yeah.

A visit from Greg again.</b> <b>Other than that.</b> <b>I don't know, boss.</b> <b>A nice plate of cookies</b> <b>and some cherry Kool-Aid.</b> <b>Ooh, that would hit</b> <b>the spot.

I'd be very nice.</b> <b>But, Seth, I need a favor.</b> <b>Would you mind going over to the towers</b> <b>in the southeastern section?</b> <b>Isn't that a hated section where that goes</b> <b>live?</b> <b>No, no, not anymore.</b> <b>I just need you to go</b> <b>get my mama's family mug.</b> <b>I left it in there,</b> <b>and I want to have some of that cherry</b> <b>Kool-Aid later tonight.</b> <b>Could you go and get it for?

Me?</b> <b>You know, everything</b> <b>tastes better in that mug.</b> <b>You're</b> <b>sure that section is not haunted anymore?</b> <b>Not since last week.</b> <b>I personally saw the ghost leave.</b> <b>I think they went to Idaho.</b> <b>Or was it Iowa anyway?

Right.</b> <b>They're gone.</b> <b>Please go get my mug.</b> <b>Okay.

I'll be right back.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>Okay.

Okay.

He's gone.</b> <b>Let me watch a little more of this</b> <b>Lester guy.</b> <b>I have an idea.</b> <b>I wonder.</b> <b>My operatives are very close</b> <b>to locating El Sapo Data Barstow.</b> <b>There are rumors he was in a burrito bar</b> <b>in Memphis just last Monday.</b> <b>Some say he's riding a Greyhound bus</b> <b>to the boyhood home of Slim Whitman.</b> <b>Some say he's locked himself in a broom</b> <b>closet.</b> <b>Can't get out.</b> <b>These are all false leads.</b> <b>He's a.</b> <b>Devious.

Genius.</b> <b>If you have excited El Chapo, call,</b> <b>do not attempt to apprehend him himself.</b> <b>He's dangerous.</b> <b>If your information pans out</b> <b>and he is captured, I personally, Dr.</b> <b>Lester Sinclair, will pay you</b> <b>a very generous reward.</b> <b>Call it a finder's fee.</b> <b>Just call me at one 800.</b> <b>Dr.

Lester.</b> <b>Bingo.</b> <b>There it is.</b> <b>That's what I was waiting for.</b> <b>I've got an idea.</b> <b>I'll tell you later.</b> <b>What's going on?

Look.</b> <b>Boss, I look long and I look low</b> <b>and I look low again.</b> <b>But I can't find your mama's family mug.</b> <b>I'm sorry.</b> <b>Say, I could have sworn</b> <b>I heard that Lester guy just a second ago.</b> <b>Was he talking again?</b> <b>It was probably just an echo.</b> <b>Let's get back to more of tormented</b> <b>here on nightmare theater.</b> <b>Can we still have the Kool-Aid?</b> <b>Yes, since I can drink it out of Vicki</b> <b>Lawrence.</b> <b>His face.</b> <b>I will have it.</b> <b>We'll see about that</b> <b>tomorrow night.</b> <b>I'll be Mrs.

Stewart.</b> <b>Isn't that right, Mr.</b> <b>Stewart?</b> <b>I'll be right back.</b> <b>Please, Tom, just one more.

I.</b> <b>I wanted to get a drink.</b> <b>I'll get a drink.</b> <b>Just One more number I want to show you up</b> <b>by glove.</b> <b>Sorry I started your time,</b> <b>but candids of the best time.</b> <b>I had my mouth open in my eyes closed.</b> <b>It's going to be the worst picture ever</b> <b>made.</b> <b>You don't like it?</b> <b>I can take another.</b> <b>No, no, that's fine.</b> <b>I assure you.</b> <b>I'm sure.</b> <b>Yeah.

No, no.

No.</b> <b>You get a drink,</b> <b>right?</b> <b>Tom?

What's wrong with it?</b> <b>Nothing.</b> <b>It's only a picture.</b> <b>Why are you so upset?

I'm not upset.</b> <b>Oh, something's bothering you.</b> <b>Is it another girl?</b> <b>You can tell me now.</b> <b>I'll try not to be jealous.</b> <b>Jealous?</b> <b>I could be jealous and.

Bye.</b> <b>She's dead.

She doesn't exist.</b> <b>She's a perfume.</b> <b>She's a footprint.

She's a hand.</b> <b>She's a face in a picture.</b> <b>Who could be jealous</b> <b>of.

Talking crazy Tom,</b> <b>Let me see the picture.</b> <b>Well,</b> <b>you're not making any sense.</b> <b>That's her face between the two of us.</b> <b>I don't see anything</b> <b>except you and me.</b> <b>I know</b> <b>you put up lights.</b> <b>What's the matter?</b> <b>You don't look too happy</b> <b>to be</b> <b>married tomorrow.</b> <b>I sometimes</b> <b>wonder the way Tom's been acting lately.</b> <b>Anything Tom does is all right.</b> <b>He's perfect in your eyes</b> <b>anyhow, isn't he?</b> <b>Oh, don't worry, Sandy.</b> <b>I love him.</b> <b>I suppose</b> <b>every girl has a few last minute doubts</b> <b>because he's always around the lighthouse.</b> <b>Because he imagines things that aren't so</b> <b>Everything will be all right.</b> <b>It's late.</b> <b>I get the window.</b> <b>There's a light up there.</b> <b>I wonder who it could be.</b> <b>A boy and a girl, probably.</b> <b>You wouldn't understand what to.</b> <b>They used to go there and Nick.</b> <b>Not anymore.</b> <b>Everybody says it's too cold and damp</b> <b>and smelly.</b> <b>Does Tom go there with anybody</b> <b>or does anybody meet him there?</b> <b>Now, who's imagining things?</b> <b>You're right.</b> <b>Oh, I.</b> <b>That's probably only a reflection</b> <b>of the moonlight on a loose pane of glass.</b> <b>Hello, and welcome back.</b> <b>My this movie is plodding right</b> <b>along here, in fact.</b> <b>Ouch.

Ouch.</b> <b>What's.

What's the matter, boss?</b> <b>What's the matter.

It's my back.</b> <b>I think I pulled it again.</b> <b>Seppo, would you</b> <b>mind going up to the room on level 42</b> <b>and getting my back pills for me?</b> <b>I got the misery in my back.</b> <b>All of a sudden, it really hurts.</b> <b>So you want me to rub it</b> <b>or something for you?</b> <b>I could rub some liniment or witch</b> <b>hazel on it.</b> <b>I want you to go get my pills.</b> <b>Can I have one of them?</b> <b>No.

And I counted them</b> <b>so I know how many are left in the bottle.</b> <b>About half of a pill</b> <b>and a half.

Half a dozen.

Go.</b> <b>Okay.</b> <b>He's gone</b> <b>too, and I let my fingers do the walking.</b> <b>Let me just dial this number, man.</b> <b>We used to have to do this all the time,</b> <b>but this.</b> <b>Hello?</b> <b>Yeah, Hello.</b> <b>Oh.

Oh, yeah.</b> <b>I'm calling for Lester Sinclair.</b> <b>What?</b> <b>Yeah, I guess.</b> <b>I mean, Doctor Sinclair.</b> <b>I apologize, brother.</b> <b>Look, I understand</b> <b>you're willing to pay big bucks</b> <b>for information leading to the capture</b> <b>of L SAPO de Tempesta,</b> <b>who you believe</b> <b>is some sort of mafia kingpin.</b> <b>What would that come out to and say?</b> <b>Dollars and cents.</b> <b>Oh, really?</b> <b>That much?</b> <b>And that's American money, right?</b> <b>Oh, and if I knew.</b> <b>Where he would.

Be,</b> <b>would you be able to pick him up today?</b> <b>Oh, and that money would be in cash.</b> <b>Right.

Like actual folding money.</b> <b>Good.</b> <b>Well, if you want him, just come down here</b> <b>to the compound at the end of LA.</b> <b>Go see Lane and get them this afternoon.</b> <b>Yeah, Yeah, this afternoon.</b> <b>All right.

Bye.</b> <b>Okay, Mittens, here's</b> <b>what we're going to do.</b> <b>That Lester</b> <b>Sinclair guy is offering big money for.</b> <b>Suppose capture.</b> <b>Someone is going to get that money.</b> <b>It might as well be us.</b> <b>Oh, I know he's your friend,</b> <b>but I mean, big money.</b> <b>Just think what we could do</b> <b>with all of that money.</b> <b>Well, I'm in charge,</b> <b>and I've made the decision.</b> <b>You're just going to have to trust that</b> <b>I know what I'm doing.</b> <b>I know what's best for us all.</b> <b>Folks, let's get back to whatever was</b> <b>happening in Tormented here on theater.</b> <b>You could</b> <b>shake that head all you want, buddy.</b> <b>I've made my decision,</b> <b>and you're going to abide by it.</b> <b>Where are you?</b> <b>I'm over here.</b> <b>By what?</b> <b>What do you want?</b> <b>I want you to.</b> <b>I want to save you from your own mistakes.</b> <b>The mistake was in knowing you.</b> <b>And the only way you could</b> <b>correct was for me to die, wasn't it?</b> <b>It's not my fault you're dead, isn't it?</b> <b>I couldn't have saved you.

Couldn't you?</b> <b>Maybe you can make yourself believe that,</b> <b>but not me.</b> <b>I was there, remember?</b> <b>You had to shut me up</b> <b>so you could marry me.</b> <b>You got away with that.</b> <b>All right.</b> <b>But now what are you going to do?</b> <b>I'll never let you marry me.</b> <b>You belong to me, Tom.</b> <b>You belong to us.

Go.</b> <b>That's the trouble with making one person.</b> <b>You have to go from bad</b> <b>to worse to keep it quiet.</b> <b>What would you do?

It may.</b> <b>I'd get wise to you.</b> <b>Stop her the same way you stopped me.</b> <b>I didn't kill you, VI.</b> <b>I never killed anybody.

And I never will.</b> <b>And once I'm married, I'm</b> <b>going to live a very happy,</b> <b>very normal life with Meg</b> <b>and with our friends.</b> <b>And there's really</b> <b>nothing you can do about it, isn't there?</b> <b>You may have noticed.</b> <b>I've found my voice.</b> <b>Now I pick things up fast.</b> <b>I'm going to use it</b> <b>to tell the world about you.</b> <b>I told you, Tom,</b> <b>no one will ever have you but.</b> <b>Me needs to try.</b> <b>Try to make me.</b> <b>Tom.

Stuart killed me.</b> <b>Tom, You kill me.

Tom.</b> <b>You were telling me,</b> <b>Tom Stuart killed.

Me.</b> <b>Why did you kill me, Tom?

Mr..</b> <b>Can they</b> <b>kill me?</b> <b>Tom turns</b> <b>me that.</b> <b>Don't be such a hurry, Dad.</b> <b>You're always in a hurry.</b> <b>You shouldn't be like that.

Give me that.</b> <b>I just want to talk to you.</b> <b>I'm a nice, friendly talk, that's all.</b> <b>Give me that</b> <b>look.</b> <b>Sick, dead.</b> <b>Something's wrong.</b> <b>Look, are you going to talk to me or not?</b> <b>Let's get this thing over with.</b> <b>Just What is it you want?</b> <b>Like I said, that</b> <b>all I wanted was coming to me.</b> <b>You know, the way it looks to me,</b> <b>we should be sort of partners.</b> <b>I hope you and you help me.</b> <b>I bring your Playgirl over to the island,</b> <b>and I figure it's worth</b> <b>some sort of service to you</b> <b>to sort of buy something for me,</b> <b>like a silent service That's</b> <b>the word you're reaching for is blackmail.</b> <b>That's not it at all.</b> <b>That we should be sort of pals.</b> <b>I do you a favor.</b> <b>Now, you can do me one.</b> <b>In other words,</b> <b>if I don't pay you blackmail,</b> <b>you go to my fiancee and expose</b> <b>my life of sin.</b> <b>Is that it?</b> <b>Well, you're saying it rather crude, dead,</b> <b>but you're getting the idea.</b> <b>But it won't do you any good.</b> <b>I'm not going to pay you</b> <b>one lousy cent in the first place.</b> <b>I don't know a girl named VI.</b> <b>And even if I did, it wouldn't</b> <b>do you any good.</b> <b>Because unfortunately,</b> <b>I am not sharing my cottage with anyone.</b> <b>If it'll make you feel better,</b> <b>you can look for yourself.</b> <b>That's not necessary.</b> <b>Not at all.</b> <b>You see, I already have.</b> <b>Well, then you know she's not here.</b> <b>Well, yes and no.</b> <b>You see, when you were so eager</b> <b>to cope with that five,</b> <b>I figured you were, well, anxious</b> <b>to keep everything sort of quiet.</b> <b>Like now, when I find out</b> <b>you're getting spliced to another chick.</b> <b>Well,</b> <b>the story's even getting better to read.</b> <b>Now, here, the part I like the best.</b> <b>I do a little snooping</b> <b>when you're not around.</b> <b>What do you think?

I think</b> <b>you still with me, Dad?</b> <b>Go on.</b> <b>You see, that's the punch line.</b> <b>That's the gimmick.</b> <b>If this dull boy is hiding in your cottage</b> <b>and she isn't any place else</b> <b>on the island,</b> <b>and she never left the island.</b> <b>Oh, What do you suppose</b> <b>would have happened to her, huh?</b> <b>You tell me</b> <b>you're a comedian, huh?</b> <b>You're</b> <b>the one that has the rest of the answers.</b> <b>You know something?</b> <b>Everything you've just said is all bluff.</b> <b>You don't know a damn thing.</b> <b>That's not true.</b> <b>That is not friendly at all.

In fact,</b> <b>I thought.</b> <b>You'd take a wrong outlook on things,</b> <b>so I sort of borrowed something.</b> <b>A friend of yours.</b> <b>Let's get out of here.</b> <b>I can see that you finally dig me That</b> <b>what we come up here for.</b> <b>So that you and I can have</b> <b>a little talk in peace and quiet.</b> <b>It's cool.</b> <b>Just what do you want?</b> <b>Five now.</b> <b>Five thou.</b> <b>And don't tell me and I'll get your future</b> <b>father in law is loaded.

Tom.</b> <b>Tom.

Five.</b> <b>Who are you talking to?</b> <b>You didn't hear anything.</b> <b>I didn't hear anything.</b> <b>I'm waiting to hear something from you.</b> <b>They're closing in on it now.</b> <b>You'd better take care of him right now.</b> <b>No.

Know</b> <b>that's your final answer.</b> <b>Well, I didn't.</b> <b>Come in a minute.</b> <b>He's so easy, Tom.</b> <b>Just as easy as I live.</b> <b>Go ahead.</b> <b>There's a piece of pie behind you.</b> <b>One good blow is all it takes.</b> <b>He got rid of me.</b> <b>But you'll never get rid of him.</b> <b>As long as he lives.</b> <b>He'll bleed you of every penny.

Tom.</b> <b>And all the time</b> <b>you'll have it hanging over you.</b> <b>What if people find out</b> <b>what it make?</b> <b>Find out You can't let them do it, Tom.</b> <b>You'll lose.</b> <b>Look, you've had enough time.</b> <b>Do I get the money or don't say yes.</b> <b>Tom.

Does he get paid?

No.</b> <b>All right.</b> <b>You know what's best.</b> <b>See what your chick has to say about this.</b> <b>And what</b> <b>change your may.</b> <b>Have to</b> <b>know.</b> <b>And indeed, the</b> <b>you know, I.</b> <b>Received firstly lifting and secondly,</b> <b>the second boy, huh?</b> <b>Yeah.

Yeah, that's what it did.</b> <b>What was the third place.</b> <b>Oh, that the mystery.

Blaine.</b> <b>Oh, wow.

Well,</b> <b>what about the fourth place?</b> <b>Ooh, I don't talk about that boy.</b> <b>I got nothing else to say about that</b> <b>blade.

Oh, and.

One.</b> <b>Anyway, welcome back.</b> <b>We're once again in the subsub subsub</b> <b>basement of the television studio</b> <b>with a mysterious curator</b> <b>from the Merrill Movie Museum.</b> <b>And he's brought us another piece today.</b> <b>It looks like it's</b> <b>not maybe in the best shape.</b> <b>It's not.</b> <b>Well, it looks like that,</b> <b>but it's supposed to look like supposed.</b> <b>That's the intention here.</b> <b>So this is from</b> <b>what's what is probably still considered</b> <b>the best of the Star Trek</b> <b>films, Star Trek two, The Wrath of Khan.</b> <b>So you're saying it's not Star Trek</b> <b>five now?</b> <b>What about that?</b> <b>That is looking for nobody.</b> <b>That the best example is one</b> <b>where they looked for that guy.</b> <b>Yeah, that's that.</b> <b>That's Star Trek five.</b> <b>I think SAPO probably likes that movie.</b> <b>Call your.

Favorites.

Yeah,</b> <b>I like that guy on the bus.

Yeah.</b> <b>So this is in the movie Star Trek, too.</b> <b>Of course.</b> <b>We had the return of Khan, the</b> <b>the great villain from the original series</b> <b>episodes, Spacey Brian, played by Ricardo</b> <b>Montalban, who took over the U.S.S.</b> <b>Reliant.

Yes.</b> <b>One of the many great ships in Starfleet.</b> <b>There was a great, beautiful model made of</b> <b>The ship is back, and this time</b> <b>they still filmed everything With models.</b> <b>There's no CGI, right?</b> <b>So they had to hand build</b> <b>all of these ships that you saw on screen.</b> <b>Of course,</b> <b>the Reliant did not fare so well</b> <b>in Khan's hands</b> <b>and by the end of the film was destroyed.</b> <b>This is a portion of the destroyed</b> <b>rely on this is that you're</b> <b>kind of the roll bar on that shot</b> <b>the robots and</b> <b>so they build these beautiful models</b> <b>and then they have to artistically destroy</b> <b>these models to make them look like</b> <b>they've been destroyed on screen.</b> <b>And that's what you see here.</b> <b>You know, that they would have built</b> <b>in some cases they would</b> <b>have just destroyed the original model.</b> <b>In this case, I believe they would like</b> <b>to give me a job doing that.</b> <b>But you know, again,</b> <b>you kind of put everything together</b> <b>and made it look like</b> <b>it had been through an explosion.</b> <b>And there probably were</b> <b>you can kind of see here</b> <b>some things that maybe lit up</b> <b>and things like that</b> <b>that were on this model</b> <b>perhaps at one point, because I</b> <b>if I recall correctly,</b> <b>this is kind of the way</b> <b>that the Reliant looks</b> <b>when it's drifting right.</b> <b>Kind of after it's been kind of attacked</b> <b>by the Enterprise and Captain Kirk,</b> <b>as does done what he's always doing</b> <b>he comes back</b> <b>from unbeatable odds to win.</b> <b>You know, we don't want to go</b> <b>into the metaphor of that but</b> <b>so yeah, so this would have</b> <b>been this would have been seen on screen</b> <b>extensively.</b> <b>Right, right, right.</b> <b>And you could see, you know,</b> <b>they would have gone through</b> <b>because this would have been up</b> <b>close on camera.</b> <b>They go through all the attention</b> <b>to detail here with the Starfleet Delta.</b> <b>He had the registry number NCC, 1864,</b> <b>1864, United Federation of Planets.</b> <b>You can when you close up in on that,</b> <b>you can really see all that detail</b> <b>because you needed to be able to see</b> <b>that detail on screen to sell it as a.</b> <b>As a real ship</b> <b>that's been destroyed.

Yeah.</b> <b>And Star Trek two was kind of</b> <b>a turning point for that series of films.</b> <b>Star Trek one had been a hit,</b> <b>but it wasn't a particularly great film,</b> <b>I think.</b> <b>I think history's been</b> <b>a little more kind to it now.</b> <b>It's it's considered a little better</b> <b>than it was at the time.</b> <b>But this film really</b> <b>cemented the Star Trek film</b> <b>series as something</b> <b>that was going to be great going forward.</b> <b>It really did.</b> <b>You know, with Nicholas</b> <b>Meyer coming in as a director</b> <b>and really kind of focusing on action</b> <b>the way the first film had</b> <b>and the first film was kind of</b> <b>intentionally a more cerebral film.</b> <b>Yes, kind of inspired by 2001</b> <b>and films like that, which is great.</b> <b>And all.</b> <b>But it wasn't necessarily</b> <b>what the audience</b> <b>was looking for</b> <b>in the aftermath of Star Wars.

Right.</b> <b>Which is what got the first Star Trek</b> <b>film greenlit in the first.</b> <b>Right.</b> <b>And it was a lot of films</b> <b>and a lot of movies,</b> <b>the TV shows and other things that came</b> <b>after Star Wars that were sort of,</b> <b>you know, Roger Corman made Battle</b> <b>Beyond the Stars,</b> <b>which is not at all anything like</b> <b>Star Wars are as near as quality.</b> <b>But again, that was him following along.</b> <b>But the major studios did that, too.</b> <b>They would see suddenly science</b> <b>fiction as popular.</b> <b>We got to start making science</b> <b>fiction movies.</b> <b>So Star Trek got that treatment,</b> <b>you know, Battlestar Galactica,</b> <b>another thing that sort of rode</b> <b>on the coattails of Star Wars.</b> <b>And so we have all Star Wars</b> <b>to thank for a lot of that.</b> <b>Stuff</b> <b>and for every great thing that came along,</b> <b>the revival of Star Trek</b> <b>or the Battlestar Galactica,</b> <b>which went on to become a great,</b> <b>great series.</b> <b>Yeah, you had things like Battle</b> <b>Beyond the Star Solar Crisis.</b> <b>Yeah.</b> <b>Where again, you might have some</b> <b>some great prop work on in the film, but</b> <b>the film itself,</b> <b>nobody really remembers that.</b> <b>Well, thank you so much</b> <b>for bringing us in to us today.</b> <b>This is a really amazing piece.</b> <b>I mean, to</b> <b>imagine that we've seen this on screen</b> <b>for so many years</b> <b>and then here it is in front of us.</b> <b>It's kind of it's kind</b> <b>of a very overwhelming experience, really.</b> <b>So why don't you folks</b> <b>get back to our film,</b> <b>which is not nearly as good as</b> <b>what Star Trek two was here on Nightmare.</b> <b>You know, some bondo and buffing compound.</b> <b>I can make this look like New</b> <b>Sandy.</b> <b>Sandy, come here.</b> <b>Sandy, did you hear your mother call you?</b> <b>What is it?</b> <b>Drop whatever you're doing</b> <b>and come here at one.</b> <b>Oh, right.</b> <b>Oh, Sandy,</b> <b>we have to be at the church in 20 minutes.</b> <b>And you're not even dressed yet.</b> <b>Never mind that.</b> <b>Now makes your hand Come and hold it.</b> <b>When I take it up.</b> <b>You'll make a lovely wife, Meg.</b> <b>Thanks, Meg.</b> <b>Do you really love them?</b> <b>A whole lot?</b> <b>Whatever makes you ask a thing like that.</b> <b>Last night you said you weren't sure.</b> <b>Well, I'm sure Now</b> <b>you'll remember to take the bouquet</b> <b>when I hand it to you, won't you?</b> <b>I'll remember.</b> <b>Suppose he done something awful bad</b> <b>the way I feel now.</b> <b>I'd marry him no matter what.</b> <b>Oh, don't forget.</b> <b>You stand close behind me.</b> <b>But not too close.</b> <b>Yeah, that's them.</b> <b>And you, young lady, get into your gown</b> <b>this instant.</b> <b>Subject loaned us her ring in place</b> <b>of the one you lost.</b> <b>That's okay.</b> <b>I've got the minister's V here</b> <b>in my pocket,</b> <b>and everything's under control,</b> <b>so snap out of it.</b> <b>Okay?

Okay.

I'll be all right.</b> <b>I'll get that funereal look off your face.</b> <b>This is a wedding that</b> <b>cheer him up.</b> <b>Money.</b> <b>I think that's</b> <b>a pretty dress.</b> <b>And you're really going to marry</b> <b>my sister, aren't you?</b> <b>I don't feel like that.</b> <b>I can't help but</b> <b>suppose you love somebody.</b> <b>Somebody who did something bad.</b> <b>And only you.</b> <b>Would you keep it secret.</b> <b>Well, good</b> <b>friends</b> <b>generally try to stand by one another.</b> <b>But what if it was something real,</b> <b>real bad?</b> <b>Real, real bad.

Like what?</b> <b>Murder.</b> <b>Dearly</b> <b>beloved, we are gathered together</b> <b>here in the sight of God</b> <b>and in the face of this company</b> <b>to join together this man</b> <b>and this woman in holy matrimony,</b> <b>which is an honorable estate</b> <b>instituted God,</b> <b>signifying unto us</b> <b>the mystical union that is betwixt Christ.</b> <b>And His church is not by any to be entered</b> <b>into and advisedly or lightly,</b> <b>but reverently, discreetly,</b> <b>advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God</b> <b>into this holy estate.</b> <b>These two persons present</b> <b>come now to be joined.</b> <b>If any man can show just cause why</b> <b>they may not lawfully be joined together,</b> <b>let him now speak</b> <b>or else hereafter forever hold his peace.</b> <b>The bishop</b> <b>Oh, by VI.</b> <b>I've got to tell you, you've one.</b> <b>I'm sure you're glad to hear that</b> <b>I'm going</b> <b>away by and I'm not coming back by.</b> <b>I I'm running out on Meg.</b> <b>I'm not coming back.</b> <b>Sandy,</b> <b>what are you doing here?</b> <b>I followed.</b> <b>Why did you have to kill him?</b> <b>I knew something would happen.</b> <b>I was against the marriage</b> <b>from the beginning.</b> <b>Let me help you with your gown, dear.</b> <b>Don't bother, Mother.

Sam.</b> <b>You'll help Sandy.</b> <b>Help your sister.</b> <b>Where is Sandy?</b> <b>I thought you came home ahead of us.</b> <b>Well, if she did, she's not here now.</b> <b>I wish you hadn't seen it.</b> <b>Sandy.</b> <b>I'm afraid to tell everybody,</b> <b>and I don't know what to do.</b> <b>Will tell.</b> <b>But how can I be sure of that?</b> <b>Good.</b> <b>The protect protected other?

Yes.</b> <b>Sometimes they can't help themselves.</b> <b>Things leak out.</b> <b>Police hear about it.</b> <b>You know what would happen</b> <b>if the police heard about this?</b> <b>I go to the gas chamber.</b> <b>Sandy.</b> <b>Sandy, Why did you have to see it?</b> <b>I couldn't tell them.</b> <b>No, Nobody could help any of it except me.</b> <b>I could have saved by.</b> <b>I could have put my hand out to it.</b> <b>Instead I killed her.</b> <b>Sandy.</b> <b>Sandy, you know I love you very much.</b> <b>Thank you, Reverend.</b> <b>She isn't there.</b> <b>I can't imagine where she could have gone.</b> <b>Where is Tom?</b> <b>The least he could do</b> <b>is be here when Meg needs him.</b> <b>Can't you leave him alone?</b> <b>There's a light in the lighthouse.</b> <b>Sandy could be there.</b> <b>She talks about the place all the time.</b> <b>Oh, I don't think</b> <b>she'd there at night, though.</b> <b>We'd better make sure.</b> <b>I was going up there.</b> <b>That's what I'm looking at.

The sea.</b> <b>You're not afraid of me, are you?</b> <b>I never used to be.</b> <b>On my neck.</b> <b>When the.</b> <b>Moon shines,</b> <b>you can see the whole island from up here.</b> <b>You didn't tell anyone</b> <b>we were coming up, and.</b> <b>I didn't tell them.

Anything.</b> <b>Good.</b> <b>Good.</b> <b>Let's go back.</b> <b>Afraid?

Yes.</b> <b>Sandy.</b> <b>Sandy.</b> <b>Why did you have to see it?</b> <b>Dad, There was</b> <b>prepared to bring him in.</b> <b>Now come.</b> <b>Who could it be?</b> <b>Where did you find her?</b> <b>What's in the rock?</b> <b>She's been down there a week.</b> <b>I'd say.</b> <b>It's bringing him in</b> <b>now, but.</b> <b>Hello and welcome back.</b> <b>For us.</b> <b>I got them back.

Pills for you, boss.</b> <b>But I got to tell you, I got to tell you,</b> <b>I saw that from the subsub sub</b> <b>sub basement running out of the room.</b> <b>And I think he had a pill in his hand.</b> <b>And I tried to stop him,</b> <b>but he was too fast for me.</b> <b>So if one of them pills is missing,</b> <b>and if you count on him</b> <b>and one of them is missing, what, me?</b> <b>Oh, I'm certain he was too fast for you.</b> <b>What did you think of tonight's movie?</b> <b>Did you like the ending?</b> <b>I didn't even see what happened.</b> <b>I was too busy getting your pills for you</b> <b>and looking for that mama's family</b> <b>mug and whatnot.</b> <b>And have any time now?</b> <b>The movie's over,</b> <b>and we had quite a night.</b> <b>Yes, we did.</b> <b>But, boss,</b> <b>that was sure scary there for a minute.</b> <b>I was pretty sure that Lester guy</b> <b>was going to fly me</b> <b>and hold me off to the jail or something.</b> <b>The night is still young.</b> <b>Suppose the night is still young.</b> <b>And there he is.</b> <b>Yes.

Here he is.</b> <b>Here, do something.</b> <b>Oh, I'm going to do something.

All right.</b> <b>Your time has come, my friend.</b> <b>Yes, it has, Baron, I believe we discussed</b> <b>a finder's fee for you.</b> <b>We sure did.</b> <b>$50,000, was it?</b> <b>I'll make that back.

The book price alone.</b> <b>What book?</b> <b>I am going to write a true crime novel</b> <b>about how</b> <b>I Doctor Lester W</b> <b>Sinclair took down a man.</b> <b>The FBI and Interpol</b> <b>have been looking out for decades.</b> <b>Oh, that sounds great.</b> <b>Who did you take down?</b> <b>He's talking about you dummy Me?

Yes, you.</b> <b>Here is your money.</b> <b>$50,000.</b> <b>I must say, you're not quite</b> <b>as objectionable character</b> <b>as I previously believed.</b> <b>Thank you.

You're not so bad yourself.</b> <b>Do you want a receipt?</b> <b>No.

There's no need to complicate matters</b> <b>with the paper trail.</b> <b>I'll just take the money and</b> <b>you'll take him away and we'll be square.</b> <b>What's happened</b> <b>And what's happened is justice.</b> <b>Is what's happening.</b> <b>She finally showed up.</b> <b>She's been standing in the corner,</b> <b>waiting and watching all of these years.</b> <b>She's a proud and dignified lady.</b> <b>And she hates to ask her boys for help.</b> <b>But she asked me</b> <b>and I came through and mama called</b> <b>by God, me, Dr.</b> <b>Lester W Sinclair, Lady</b> <b>Justice is a fickle maven</b> <b>with a memory like an elephant.</b> <b>And you have insulted her</b> <b>for the last time.</b> <b>You are going back to prison</b> <b>to serve out the rest of your sentence.</b> <b>Well, I know.

Devious criminal mastermind.</b> <b>I'm not even a mastermind.</b> <b>I don't even have a mind on a stumbling,</b> <b>bungling, Stumbling fool.</b> <b>Just ask anyone who will kill me, bucko.</b> <b>You fooled quite a lot of people with that</b> <b>lazy, inept,</b> <b>shiftless, incompetent act of yours.</b> <b>But you didn't fool me.</b> <b>No, you didn't.</b> <b>For me, I really am lazy and incompetent.</b> <b>Tell that to the judge, my friend.</b> <b>Tell it to the judge</b> <b>and give me these pills.</b> <b>Let's put these into evidence.</b> <b>No, no, those are mine.</b> <b>Take him away.</b> <b>Officers,</b> <b>call off that wild dog.</b> <b>No, no no, no.

Mittens.

Calm down, buddy.</b> <b>Come down.</b> <b>Keep him away from me.</b> <b>It's going to be okay.</b> <b>Keep now.

It's okay.

Okay,</b> <b>Mittens.

Bad boy.</b> <b>We'll talk about this later.</b> <b>Stand down.</b> <b>And that's an order.</b> <b>Boss.

Boss.</b> <b>I'll see you in 20 years, SAPO.</b> <b>More like 40 years.</b> <b>Thank you, Baron.</b> <b>I have other fugitives to find, other</b> <b>world to conquer, and a book to write.</b> <b>Do you want me to mention you</b> <b>in my book?

No.</b> <b>I'm kind of a behind the scenes</b> <b>guy you have.</b> <b>You can have all the glory</b> <b>for this capture.</b> <b>This is all on you, my friend.

All on you.</b> <b>Besides, SAPO has been here a long time,</b> <b>and I don't want to get busted</b> <b>for being some kind of accomplice</b> <b>or something.</b> <b>You take him away and run with it.</b> <b>Very wise, Baron.

Thank you once again.</b> <b>Let's go, Officer.

Hey,</b> <b>where are we going?</b> <b>Well, I need my shower cap.</b> <b>I still gotta weave all that hair</b> <b>into a sweater for the Baron.</b> <b>Oh, there'll be plenty of time for sweater</b> <b>waving where you're going.</b> <b>The Graybar Motel.</b> <b>The big hat off my house, boss Mittens.</b> <b>Guy in the subsurface.</b> <b>Not bashful.

Roger, a bodyguard.</b> <b>Somebody help me.</b> <b>Call that lawyer, Chadwick Foster.</b> <b>Call Paul, please.</b> <b>Call anybody.

Call Martindale.</b> <b>He'll know what to do.

Help</b> <b>them.</b> <b>You know what they say?</b> <b>Oh, don't do the crime</b> <b>if he can't do that.</b> <b>But I never shut up.</b> <b>All right, well, that's it, folks.</b> <b>Saffo has finally gotten</b> <b>what's coming to him.</b> <b>Maybe a few decades on, the RockPile</b> <b>will make him see the error of his ways,</b> <b>but I doubt it.</b> <b>What do you mean?</b> <b>What are we going to do, Mittens?</b> <b>Why are we going to go</b> <b>on a well-deserved vacation, my friend?</b> <b>Three weeks in Paris,</b> <b>three weeks in Rome, four weeks in London,</b> <b>eight weeks in train Sylvania and one week</b> <b>in beautiful Branson, Missouri.</b> <b>We're going to have the time of our lives,</b> <b>my friends.</b> <b>Well, no, no, don't worry about SAPO.</b> <b>Look I'm sorry</b> <b>I had to trick you, Mittens.</b> <b>I wanted to let you in on the plan for.</b> <b>For it to work.</b> <b>I had to be a</b> <b>it had to be a total, complete secret.</b> <b>I knew you would try to protect SAPO.</b> <b>I was counting on it.

Here's the truth.</b> <b>Sapo is not the man they're looking for.</b> <b>Sapo did not start working for me</b> <b>in the 1950s.</b> <b>He's been with me since the late 1800s.</b> <b>He's definitely not a master criminal.</b> <b>He's going to be fine.</b> <b>Well, eventually, everything worked out</b> <b>just like I thought it would.</b> <b>And again,</b> <b>I wanted to let you in on it, but</b> <b>I was worried you give it away somehow.</b> <b>Once they take that mask off of him</b> <b>and get a good look at him,</b> <b>they're going to ask him to put it back on</b> <b>quickly because he's ugly.</b> <b>And then they'll realize they have</b> <b>the wrong man and they'll kick him loose.</b> <b>They could run his prints,</b> <b>but he chewed those off years ago.</b> <b>He might be in there</b> <b>a month or two at the most,</b> <b>but by that time,</b> <b>they're going to realize their mistake.</b> <b>And you and I will be in the mountains</b> <b>of Transylvania, enjoying some nice</b> <b>Romanian wine</b> <b>with a big heaping bowl of pork and potato</b> <b>stew and a nice break from SAPO.</b> <b>And best of all, 50,000 big ones.</b> <b>That guy is a rube.</b> <b>Yeah, Yeah, sure.</b> <b>Well, pick up SAPO</b> <b>a bell or a whistle or something.</b> <b>You know, while we're on Paris, maybe.</b> <b>Maybe we'll get him a Slim</b> <b>Whitman T-shirt in Branson.</b> <b>He likes that guy.</b> <b>Folks, we have to go now, but we'll run</b> <b>into you again somewhere down the line.</b> <b>It's a very small world</b> <b>there, and it's full of good places</b> <b>to go and fun things to do.</b> <b>Get out there and see it</b> <b>while you still can.</b> <b>Life is short.</b> <b>If you see us in Europe, feel free to say.</b> <b>Hello.

But I hope you don't take this</b> <b>the wrong way.</b> <b>If you see us in Branson,</b> <b>please leave us alone.</b> <b>We only have one week there.</b> <b>But I promise you we will meet again.</b> <b>And until we do.</b> <b>May all your dreams be nightmares.</b>