Man In An Orange Shirt

LINNEY

This is "Masterpiece." (shouting) Your lot saved my life.

CASPAR

So how well did you know Thomas March?

FLORA

Oh, he was a friend of your grandfather's.

LUCIEN

What lies you tell are up to you.

ADAM

Grandpa was gay? You're not even out, are you? I've been ashamed, all my life. I loved him!

MRS. MARCH

"Man in An Orange Shirt."

LINNEY

Tonight, on "Masterpiece."

ADAM

I didn't know you owned a cottage. Why did you two never live there? I visited once, but I never cared for it. Anyway, it was your grandfather's. (sighs) It was really all very basic. Good night.

FLORA

Good night, dear.

MICHAEL (writing)

My dear Flora. "Your photograph is getting pretty battered "with all the traveling around in my breast pocket. "I can't tell you where we are "or much of what we're doing, of course. "Much of the countryside is so beautiful "that I have to remind the men that we're not here on holiday. "But then merry hell breaks out again. I'll spare you the details." (shattering) (grunts, men shouting) (gunfire, glass tinkling) Bastards got the supply lorry before it could get through the gates, sir. It's the driver, sir-- another dead with him. They shot out the tires, and it's tipped over in the ditch, sir. Put him with the others, quickly. (shouting, gunfire) (machine gun firing) (explosion, grunts) (crumbling, man screaming)

THOMPSON

We need the M.O. I think this one's still with us, sir. The M.O.'s dead. Put him with the rest. Quickly! (explosion, gunfire) (men shouting) (gunfire) Not another? He was in the back with the supplies. Christ. (groaning) Set him down, gently. (gunfire) I need you back at the gatehouse, We can't have the others ambushed. Do you understand? Sir. (shell whistles, explodes) Well, don't just sit there, help him! (gunfire, airplane engines roaring) With me! Quickly, come on! (gunfire) (gasping) (gunfire, explosions) (grunts, bullets whizzing)

THOMAS

Sugar. The lorry's full of bloody sugar. (gunfire) March. Thomas March! (explosion) March, stay with me. Stay with me! March! (men shouting) (machine gun fire) (shell whistling) (explosion, men screaming) (men coughing) (nurse talking softly) (weakly): Captain. You were lucky. Your lot saved my life. This. This was your real lifesaver. I need to get your sketchpads back from our C.O. He-he's not exactly artistic. (laughs softly)

FANSHAW

Berryman! Was I a beast to you? At school? Berryman? Uh, well, actually, you were always very kind. Has anyone seen Captain Berryman? What a relief. (footsteps approach) Berryman. A word. Yes, sir. (engines running) (exclaiming) (pencil scratching) (music playing on record) Who are you writing to? Oh, um, a girl back home. Flora. She's a teacher.

MAN

Hey, James! Oh. I've known her all my life. She's almost like a sister. I'm over here, over here! But not entirely....two left feet, you! She, uh, she lost her parents in an air raid. Just like me. Almost in, almost in. Goal! (men cheering) Goal! (men congratulating each other) Good game. Listen up, men. (record stops) This is Captain March. He's an official war artist. (exhales) Now, you're not to mind him drawing you. His work is good for morale.

BATES

Sir? Sir, is it true that the Hun lay on tarts for their soldiers? Yeah. How come they get tarts and we get artists?

MICHAEL

It's the morale back home that art can raise. It's for your wives and girlfriends. Your children. (grumbling, chuckling) Don't let them cheek you.

BATES

Sir? Go on, sir. (men cheering) Paint me! (men laughing) Put it away, Bates. But he's raising my morale, sir! (laughter) (water splashing)

MAN

Are you ready to move when it comes to it?

MAN 2

Yeah, everything's ready here. Bates will drive you to a rendezvous point, and then you'll be driven back down to a boat from there. How far to the hand-over? An hour at least. Depending on the state of the road. Well, in that case, nature calls. Are we likely to come under fire? Hopefully not. Save fuel, man-- as you were.

BATES

Sir. (engine stops) (men calling, fire crackling) The, um, area, should have been cleared, so it's... (men talking, fire crackling) (sighs) (chuckles) I can't, it's bloody embarrassing, but I can't... button my flies single-handed. (chuckling) (laughs) (clears throat) (fire crackling) (men talking) (engine starts) Promise me that you'll come and find me. I mean it. Captain! Captain Berryman! (clears throat) We ought to be off, sir. Rendezvous time's not that long away. Of course, Bates-- good man. Thank you, Bates. (man calling) Good luck. (man talking) (children imitating airplanes) (pencils scratching) (man talking in another room) (boys snickering) What's so amusing, Travis?

TRAVIS

Patroclus, Miss. Patroclus and Achilles. I don't understand. Your closest friend is butchered in a battle in which he wore your armor because you disdained to fight. You lament. Perfectly understandable. But they're not just friends, are they? (giggles)

FLORA

Greek for friendship-- Wykeham. (stammering): Agape, miss. Love between heroes was regarded as surpassing the love within marriage. But in Spartan... (knocking on door) (door opens) Class, rise. Miss Talbot. Boys. We have just heard that Mr. Churchill has accepted Germany's surrender. The war in Europe is at an end. (gasps): You may cheer, boys. (cheering) No more bloody war! (boys cheering, swing music playing) (brakes squeaking, engine hissing) (shouting happily) (door opening) Hello. Are you lost? I, I was looking for Captain March, but perhaps I have his address wrong. No, no, no. He has the studio upstairs. We share an entrance. Oh. I don't bite, unless you pay extra. I'm Lucien. Who are you? Um, my name's Berryman. Michael Berryman. (dog barking in distance) Enter, Michael Berryman. (stairs creaking) (bird cooing) You came. We were only demobbed from Colchester this morning. (breathes shakily) Um, if it's, if it's not convenient... (stammering): No, don't, don't be silly, it's... (laughs nervously) Uh... (chuckles) (panting) (breathing heavily) (moaning) (clanking, grunting) (panting) So what are your plans? For the rest of the evening? Bugger all. Oh, good. And what about... Sorry, I've forgotten her name. Flora. Flora Talbot, she... Mm-hmm. She doesn't know I'm back yet. (engine idling) (door closes)

MICHAEL

Left here. (giggles): Left! (birds chirping) (kisses) I haven't been here since my parents died. (key turning in lock) (door closes) (fire crackling) I should have written. I'm a coward. I wrote to you in my head every bloody day, but I... I wrote to you. Really? Nothing ever got through. I never said I posted them. (laughing softly) (watches ticking) (Michael whistling "Ode to Joy") (laughs) (sighs): Tea! (gasping): Very old tea. It feels cold. I also found... (chuckles)...an unopened tin of shortbread. Must be pre-war. Hmm. Morning, March. (chuckles): Captain. (chuckling) (talking indistinctly) Thank you so much. (murmurs) (panting) (grunting, laughing) (chuckling) (pencil scratching) (sighs) (birds chirping) You've not mentioned her all week. It was scarcely appropriate. Do you love her? I... You'll love her, too. How cozy. Please, Thomas. I don't understand how you can be so matter-of-fact? Does she love you? I imagine so, or she wouldn't have agreed to marry me. (car doors opening) Please say yes, Thomas. Say you'll be there, at least, please. I, I've no family. (door closes) I don't want to be your bloody family. I... (bird chirping) Hmm? (whispers): Please. You have no idea, have you? What about, Thomas? You surely didn't think that we could set up house together like man and wife. Please. (scoffs) Just be quiet. (car door opens) Just, let's just go back to London. (door closes) (birds chirping) (door closes) Nearly there. I'm so glad you wore Mummy's brooch. Bloody hell. (sniffles) You are not to cry. Oh, there he is-- Thomas! Hello. Uh, you must be... Daphne. Older sister. Matron of honor and all that. Thomas March, how do you do? Michael says you're an artist. How very romantic. Oh, hardly.

THOMAS

Flora. How do you do? Hello, Thomas. You look wonderful. Worth the wait. Thank you. Sorry that I couldn't come to your supper party. I'm horribly unsociable when I'm working. Talking of which, I brought you something. Wedding present.

FLORA

That's so sweet. We should probably... Yes. Michael? Yes. You came. Of course I came. Best man has to. (chuckles)

REGISTRAR

If any man or woman knows just cause or impediment why these two should not be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace. Do you, Michael Sadler Berryman, take Flora Agnes Talbot to be your wedded wife? I do. Do you, Flora Agnes...

DAPHNE (whispers)

It seems wrong, having no one in tears. (people talking softly) (laughter) Um, I don't think we... Compliments of Mr. March, sir.

FLORA

Thomas, you shouldn't have. You can't get married and not have bubbles. Thank you. (piano playing in background) Thank you. So, the bride... and groom. Bless you, Thomas. Oh, please no speeches, anyone, or I shall cry. (laughing) Are you, you really not having a honeymoon? We haven't a bean until Michael's salary from the bank comes through. We used pretty much all of our savings on a deposit for the flat. So not even a weekend in your cottage? Oh...

THOMAS

Oh, dear.

MICHAEL

Not until it has a boiler, a new bathroom, and no mice. (chuckling)

DAPHNE

The flat is darling, though. Right on the park. You must come for supper.

FLORA

Yes, you must. Apparently, Thomas's pad in Soho is unreconstructed Hogarth. (chuckling) Ah. Food. Daphne could eat a horse. (laughing): Naughty! (footsteps approach) (sighs) Thanks so much, Thomas. For everything. You, uh... You, you've been brilliant. Haven't I? (footsteps retreat) (door opens) Thomas, I, uh... (footsteps retreat) (water running) (water stops) Thomas, I, uh... I really... What? What, what do you really? I just... (moaning) (panting) (crashing, shattering) (breathing heavily) (water running) Just give us a bloody minute, will you? Of course. (water stops) (breathing shallowly) (controlling crying) (softly): You don't have to go through with this. Of course I do. (exhales) If you have either sense or decency, you'll do the same. (breathing shallowly) I'll go and settle up. (door opens) (door closes) (piano playing) You're perfection. (chuckles) I feel a bit of a fraud. Oh, darling. You'll be fine. You'll see. I bet he's a real goer. A bit sensitive with it. It's... What? Tell me. (chuckling) It's a lot nicer if he lets you ride up top. (laughing) (piano playing) (thumping, bedsprings squeaking) (gasping in pain) (grunts) (breathing heavily) I'm, I'm told it gets better. Yes. I heard that, too. Mrs. Berryman. (laughs) Actually, do you mind just... Oh, of course, sorry. (sheets rustling) Now, if I snore, you're to throw a book at me. Good night. Good night. (upbeat song playing on radio) Hmm. Back to work, Berryman. So who else shall we invite? If we simply have Daphne and this new chap of hers, the poor man will feel he's being auditioned. (chuckles): Well, isn't he? She rather implied she'd already auditioned him, and he passed with flying colors. (news bulletin playing on radio) Sorry, what was that? I was miles away. I said, "Who else shall we invite?" Uh, well, I ran into Richard Tremaine at Blackfriars the other day. You know, from the regiment. We could have him and his wife. What about poor Thomas? We haven't seen him since the wedding. Daphne thought he was a bit of all right and has all sorts of eager spinsters lined up for him. No, I don't think so. Why ever not? Well he's not terribly sociable, really. He'd only be dead weight. And you can tell Daphne he's a confirmed bachelor. She'd only take that as a personal challenge. (jazzy song playing on radio) (chair rolls) (clinking) (papers rustling) (exhales) (gasping) (sniffles, clicks lighter) (crackling) (paper rustling, crumpling) (sobbing) Daphne. Thank God, I'm starving. Me, too. Oh, of course you are. (laughing) My darling. How many weeks to go? Two, three? (exhales) Let's find you a nice bench. Mm-hmm. Such a drama this morning. Mm-hmm? Bill Gladstone. Which is he? Victorian watercolors and china. Lives with his mother. He was arrested, first thing this morning. No! Why? It turns out he was also living with the man upstairs. One of their neighbors had sneaked, and the police showed up at dawn and caught them together-- in bed. Will he... go to prison? Almost certainly. And Bill has a prior history of gross indecency, which isn't as bad as buggery, but it's almost as bad. No more handling Lady Downing's Bristols for him. (gasps) (exclaims) Gross indecency, you mean... exposing himself? No-- you know, public lavatories. Oh. Now, darling, tell. You sounded all shaky when you rang. I was quite worried. (birds chirping) It's nothing. Hormones running riot, probably. Making me feel like a caged beast. It is good to see you. (bird cawing) (clock ticking) (silverware clanking) Well. This is nice. I'm sorry. Darling, I was miles away. And you've gone to so much trouble. And in your condition. Time on my hands. I tidied your desk this morning. Why? I needed some ink, and it was full of junk in there. Hope I didn't throw out anything precious. Well, I'm a hoarder. You'll reform me yet. Where's Thomas's painting? I took it down-- I rather hate it. (clock ticking) Well, perhaps I could take it to the cottage so you... Back to your precious cottage. You'd love that, wouldn't you? Pudding's only pears, I'm afraid. (footsteps retreating) (opens drawer) (whispers

nervously)

Oh, God. (pencils rattling) (plates clanking) (box falls and spills) (panting) Take this bloody thing! What should I... I don't want it under our roof another night. It's repellent. Yes. I mean, what are you? Are you safe around children? What were you thinking marrying me? Do you even love me? If I'm expected to lie around bringing forth like some brood mare, while the two of you... (painfully): Oh... Darling, darling, sit down-- Don't touch me! Never touch me-- you're disgusting! Criminal! (moans painfully) (gasping and panting) (Flora crying out) (knocking on door) (door opens) Go and have a drink, Mr. Berryman. It'll be hours yet, and it's all woman's work from here on in. (Flora whimpering) (panting nervously) (stall door closes and latches) (exhaling and sighing) (breathing nervously) (inhales sharply) (stall door latch clicks, hinge creaks) (police alarm ringing faintly outside) Ooh! So sorry. (baby gurgling) (footsteps approaching) Let me put those in water. Thank you. There's not much on offer at this time of year, even at Covent Garden. You went all that way? They're lovely-- I like white roses. He's... He's sweet. Bit soon to tell. Eager feeder, though, but it hurts like hell. (sniffs) (exhales) I thought maybe Robert, after your father, and James for mine. Look, uh, darling, I'm so... I am far, far too tired to talk about it. Would you like to hold him? He's, he's asleep. Perhaps we should just leave him. No, pick him up. Please. I really... I want the father of my child to hold his son. (clock ticking) Hold his head. (baby gurgling) (laughs happily, baby gurgles) So you like it? What? The name. Robert James. Yes, yes, it's perfect. Perfect. Did you light a cigar? Certainly not. (chuckles)

NEWSPAPER SELLER

Papers! There you go, sir, thank you. Papers, get your papers! (newspaper seller continues calling) (umbrellas snapping, rain falling) (people talking quietly) It took me several weeks to track you down. How? Your boss and I go back a long, long way. But he's... He's married with children. There's a lot of it about. (dishes clanking) Thomas is in prison. Why? The usual. Cottaging. Oh, Christ, he really can pick them. Gross indecency, dear. One year. You must visit him. But... No buts. He needs you. What lies you tell are up to you. I'm told dentistry usually works. (people talking) Why me? Because you could fornicate, understand him, and meet the mother. You got under his skin. He loves you. Truly. Right, let's be having you. (talking indistinctly) (bell clanging) (door opens)

OFFICER

Take your seats. Quickly now. Sit yourself down. Move along. I, um... I brought you a pad and some charcoal. You look terrible, Thomas. It's prison food. Permanent trots. You look like a bank manager. (officer talking indistinctly) How's... Flora? Yes, fine. Fine. Though, uh... Motherhood seems to make her a little impatient. She, uh... Baby boy, arrived in November. Robert. Well... (voice

breaking)

Just make sure that she doesn't... That she doesn't turn him... into a banker, too. I, um... We'd, uh... We'd like to ask you to be his godfather. Well, once, once you get out. What on Earth for? Well... Well, whatever you think of church or children, it's rather a good way to stay in touch with the people who, who matter. Don't visit again. But, uh... It's upsetting. Oh. Do something for me? (tea pouring) I was at school with Thomas, Mrs. March. I know who you are, Mr. Berryman. How is he? He... He's, um, he's grown a beard. He looks like a submariner. It's oddly like having him back in boarding school. I was forbidden to visit there, too, in case I embarrassed him. Oh, you needn't look at me with such sensitivity. I'm well aware of what he did and why he's there. I have been storing them in his absence, rather than leave them with that creature in Soho. I write him letters in soft pencil on one side of cartridge paper, so he can draw on the other. You should take this one. It's only a study. He must have sold the finished portrait. I call it "Man in an Orange Shirt." But it's you, isn't it? (softly): Yes. So you must take it. Oh, no, I... I couldn't possibly. Uh, I, I think it's wonderful, the colors... But our, our flat's so tiny. Perhaps, um... Perhaps just one of the notebooks? Oh, well, that one's damaged. (chuckles) Yes. But, uh... I was there, you see. I have a very small house in France, Mr. Berryman. In a very small village, in Cassis. You can go there when Thomas comes out. He, he can paint, and, and you can, you can write something. That's very kind of you, Mrs. March, but, um... He wants, he wants nothing more to do with me. Oh, that's just pride. And I have a wife and child. Is she happy? She's, uh... I, um... I should, I should be getting home. (fire crackling) (clock ticking) (typewriters clacking)

MICHAEL

"My darling Thomas, "You refuse my visits, "so you're probably tearing up my letters, too, "but there's nothing else I can do but keep trying. "It's beyond my control, do you see? "All those months ago, "when I had nothing to lose, really, "I wrote to you in my head "but was too cowardly to set more than lies on paper. "And now I find I no longer care. "The love I feel for you "runs through me like grain through wood. "I love you, Thomas. "I love you. "Your face, your voice, your touch "enter my mind at the least opportune moments, "and I find I have no power to withstand them. "No desire to. "I want us to be together "as we were in the cottage. "Only forever, not just a weekend. "I want it to go on so long that it feels normal. "I want to do all the ordinary, un-bedroomy things "we never got around to doing. "Making toast. "Raking leaves. "Sitting in silence. "I love you, Thomas. "I've always loved you. "I see that now. Tell me I'm not too late." (man talking indistinctly) There she is. Going to say hello? Oh, look. (chuckles): So solemn. So like his pa. I can't believe he's nearly one already. (chuckles) I say, not to worry about bridge tonight if Michael's away. Percy can always take me out somewhere instead. Oh, tonight? But he's... I was coming out of South Ken on my way to Christie's this morning, and I saw him striding towards the train with his suitcase, as well as the usual briefcase. Oh, yes. I'm such a dolt, darling. I'd completely forgot to tell you, he's got some dreary conference to go to.

Banking

Whither. You know the sort of thing. Well, we can play when he's back. (Robert babbling) Are you all right? Fine. (Robert fussing) Oh, do hush, Robert. (Robert crying) Oh, hush! For pity's sake! (Robert continues crying) (phone ringing on other end)

OPERATOR (on phone)

Hello, British Savings Bank. Hello, can you put me through to Michael Berryman, please?

OPERATOR

Who's calling, please? It's his wife. (operator inaudible, Robert wailing) Oh, oh, of course, those wretched teeth! How stupid of me to have forgotten. (hangs up) (Robert wailing) (car approaching slowly) (bell ringing distantly) (people talking indistinctly) (car door closes) It's Thomas... (men greeting Thomas) (greeting Thomas happily)

WOMAN

Thomas! Thomas!

MAN

Well... (talking indistinctly) Let's squeeze in the cab, come on. We'll see you at the flat? Yes. Come on, come on. Come on, darling, in there. (engine starts, door closes) (footsteps shuffle) (light switch clicks, echoes) (inhales sharply) (crying softly) (gasps, crashes) (crying) (sobbing) (fire crackling) (clock ticking) I'll tell you anything you... I'd rather you didn't. I don't want a divorce. Please, Michael! It wouldn't be fair to Robert. But I, I don't want to make you wretched. (chuckling bitterly) I never want details. You must never get caught. We will never speak of it. But darling, I... Please, don't you love me at all? Of course I do. I'm just the sister who happened to bear your child. (sniffles) (crying softly) I can live with that. (clock ticking) (engine rumbling) (women talking indistinctly) (talking indistinctly) Lovely morning, sir. All well? He wants to make an entrance.

ROBERT

Ready? We can't wait. (parents gasping) (clapping) (chuckling) Stop laughing at me! Oh, dear. Fortnum's will cheer him up. I just need to find the gents'. We'll meet you down by the lifts. Robert, can I help? (talking indistinctly) (elevator bell rings)

MICHAEL

Sorry! Sorry. Who's joining me on the bus to Fortnum's? Me! May I come, too? Don't be silly. (chuckling)

THOMAS

Michael, Flora!

MICHAEL

Thomas. (stammering): How, how are you? Fine, fine. Stunning day. We've just been kitting someone out for boarding school. So I'm bracing myself for a long afternoon sewing in name-tapes. Oh, he can't be that age already? We haven't met, Robert-- I'm Thomas March. I knew your father when he wasn't much older than you are. (chuckling): Yes. Yes, before I became respectable. (stammering): Thomas, you've been too long a stranger. We must have you over.

FLORA

Yes, we must. I've not long moved, to Cassis. Oh, to, to your mother's place. Yes, that's right. I'm just over for my, my new exhibition. Opens tonight. Oh, bother. Well, you could go along, darling. Well, no, it's... It's Robert's last night of freedom. Can't let you start school without a present. Hmm? Here.

MICHAEL

Thomas, you, you shouldn't...

FLORA

What do you say, Robert? Thank you, sir. (chuckles) Oh, that's our bus. Come along, Robert. Bye-bye, Thomas. (stammers): Goodbye, old man.

ROBERT

I'll bag seats.

FLORA

We're not going that far. Oh, let him, this once. School's not that much fun. Two and a child to Piccadilly, please.

CONDUCTOR

Two and a child to Piccadilly. There you go, sir. Thank you. Any more fares? He'll drink himself to death in the sunshine. Yes, sir, for which? Probably. Was that where you were going? Yes. (sighs) Look, they're really good ones. Goodness! Well, I'd put them safely away until we get home, or you'll get all mucky.

FLORA

Don't fidget, Bob. (bell rings) (brakes release) (siren blaring distantly) (tapping) (blink echoing) (tapping) (blink echoing, muted siren in distance) (horn honking) (siren continues) Here, Mrs. Flora. Oh... Thank you, bless you, Rita.

ADAM

Now he's had his boosters, you can take him to the park, so he can play with his friends. And, if you ask Amanda nicely, she'll give him a treat, 'cause he's been brave. All right? Go on. Er, Myra Nicholson?

STEVE

That's me. But, uh, you can call me Steve. (telephone ringing) (indistinct talking) Hello, Myra. There we go. Okay. (meowing weakly) Nineteen's a good age, but her heart's given out. We should put her to sleep to spare her suffering. I hadn't realized how long I'd... Do you need a moment? No, it's fine. (scribbling) I hadn't expected to... (meowing) Bloody cat. You know, she resented me from the start. I'm sorry... (text message alert sounding) (tapping reply) (sent message sound whooshes) (grunting) (clattering) (moaning) (panting) Ah, yes, yes. (clattering) I'm off now, Mrs. Flora. Oh, good night. Buona notte. Buona notte. I left shepherd's pie and broccoli for you. I turn it down, so it doesn't dry out. Oh, you spoil me. Oh. Home at last, Adam. Night, Rita. All good with my granny? Same old, same old. Well, you could take the food out of the oven. (water running) I love your plate warmer. Why, don't you mock me. It's generational. My generation has toast racks and plate warmers. And yours has... double espresso machines and dating apps. How do you know about dating apps? Oh, you know, Rita's my Google. By the way, that jacket needs to go to the dry cleaners. Something on the shoulder. Really? On the back. I do hope this is all right. She always over-seasons. Oh? You're looking a bit flushed. It's, uh... it's London. Hmm. You're like me, I hate crowds. Am I like you? (chuckling): Of course you are. Dinner with Claudie next week, before her twins arrive. Oh! (chuckles) Well, she'll make a better mother than I ever did. You did all right with me. I was lucky, fate gave me a second chance. My bridge cronies always asking me, "When is he going to settle down?" And I say to them, "You know, some of us prefer our own company." That's what I tell them. (utensils clattering) (shower running) (phone alert sounds) (doorbell ringing) (speaker clicks) Hi, it's, it's Adam again, from the vet's. I've brought... (door lock buzzing) (jackhammer hammering) (elevator dings) You'd better come in. Oh, hi, I was expecting Steve. Of course you were. But I'm Caspar. Do you live here too? I do rather. Oh, is that, uh...? Yes, I'm sorry it had to happen when you were away. Hmm. Well, I have to nip to the post, but you'll find Steve in his study. Hello? (chair rattling) You can't leave them there. Oh, hi. Caspar'd have a fit. (rattling) Sorry, I... I just thought I'd drop off Myra's ashes, uh, on my way home. I thought the box was quite nice. Yeah, but it's not Biedermeier. Caspar's been known to change hotels if a carpet upsets him. (chuckling) Uh, what are you working on? A redesign of a perfect flat in Limehouse. All my work gets undone. I mean, if you heal a dog, right, it stays healed. Unhappy people can have persistently unhappy pets. So you're an architect? No, um, Caspar swept me off my feet before I qualified. This place is really, quite nice. Your ten-minute call. I'm sorry, um... (train passes by) I thought it was just going to be us. Yeah, I know, but there's someone I want you to meet. Hi, David. His name is Dwight, he teaches drama. (indistinct talking, laughing) So, Adrian. Adam. Yeah, how do you know David? Uh, I... Claudie was my girlfriend at uni. Oh. Oh, but I thought you were... Yeah, I am. I turned him. (laughing) I love how relaxed you Brits are. I was told you'd be all uptight and judgmental. (chuckling)

GERALDINE

(triumphant chuckle) And two doubles with an overtrick. Oh, that's, um... oh, I can't work it out. Oh, with all this excitement, I've just got to pee. They've been on two dates now. What, to the theatre? No, to a hotel. She's on some pills. It certainly helps her card play.

FLORA

I don't understand. I was... it was such a relief, when I could quietly give up. Oh, but your Michael died so young. Oh, I'm just not wired that way. Never have been. (text message alert sounds) (tapping)

CLAUDIE

Hey. Hey. We've hardly spoken. Yeah, uh, will you make my apologies? This is my round. No, it's me you apologize to. He better be worth it-- let me see. Yeah, and his face? Oh. Oh yeah, he's hotter than Dwight. That voice! It'd be like sleeping with a chainsaw. Sorry. I worry about you. You used to envy me, now you're judging. I'm not sure I want you to be godfather. (text message alert sounds) (car honking) (women talking, laughing)

WOMAN

Come on, I was joking!

MAN (drunkenly)

I... I... I need that. (police alarm blaring) (moaning, grunting) (groaning) (both panting) Ow! Oh, sorry, sorry. Yeah, I see. You're, you're very passionate. Oh, sorry. No, no, no, don't be stupid. No, it was hot. What did you say your name was again? Oh, I didn't. Oh, well, I... I'm Bruno. Hello, Bruno. I'd like to do that again. Anything's possible. Sorry, but, uh, after that, I need to go and use the bathroom. So just... just whistle or play some music or something. (water running) (birds chirping) Where've you gone now?

ADAM

I'm just fixing your router. Oh, can't it wait? Almost done. Well, it's really kind of you to get all that kit for me, but, I mean, apart from e-mails I never use the internet. I know, but I do. Now then, you sit down, eat, while it's still warm. Thank you. (clattering) Oh, no, not again. She puts chili in, all the time. Poor Rita, it's fine. So, something important, you said. Hm, from the letting agents. They're not going ahead with the cottage. Says it's too much work to be done to be lettable. So I want to give you that cottage now, rather than you have it later. You know, it's good for a man to have a project, and it'll get you out of the city. God, wow. Thank you. Mm-hmm. Thank you. Oh, come on, there you go, eat while it's still warm, please.

RADIO HOST

So give us a call out, please, we'd love to hear your voice... You're a good boy, Merlin. All right, bye-bye. (door closes) Hello, Steve? Yes, yes, it is... uh, look, um, this is really unprofessional, but... (birds chirping) (closes door) (footsteps on stairs) So they never actually put central heating in, which is amazing. There's a proper hole in one of the bedroom floors. I should probably just sell it as is. No, no, no, it's brilliant. You just have to dig past all the crap. You-you can't sell. You're not seeing it. It, oh... So, um, was it, like, your parents' weekend cottage, or...? No, we never came here. Perhaps Flora did before she let it, but I... really don't know. Right who's, uh, who's Flora? Oh, my grandmother. Christ, all this depressing junk. (objects shifting) Oh, but that's nice. You see? I'd really, really like to do a job like this, Adam. I... It's like working on a site with my brothers when I was growing up. The whole hands-on... I'm bored of, of tarting up kitchens. What would Caspar think of you working outside London? Well, we're not joined at the hip, and, uh... and he's in Brighton with his latest app-squeeze. Oh, really? Yeah. You don't mind? I don't own him. (birds chirping) What? Do you mind kissing me? (sounds fade away) Oh. Am I, um... am I barking up the wrong tree? No. Whoa! (chuckling) What? Well, it's not a porn film, and... Listen, Adam, there's a person in these jeans, okay? (panting) I can't... this is... I'm sorry. Sorry, did I misread.... I should sell the place, it's such a lot of work. I'll make my own way from here. Really? Yeah. I'll pay for your time. (seat belt clicks) Whatever. I'll wait!

FLORA

Adam? How did it go? Course, you were late back. I, I took a designer friend with me for a second opinion. He likes it, but I... So, is your instinct, what, to sell? Probably. Oh, that's a shame. I'd better get on. Perhaps we could...? (tapping) (tapping echoes) (traffic noises echo distantly) Scooby's ashes are here when you want to collect them, okay? All right, bye, bye. Look, I know you want to sell, but I couldn't stop thinking of all you could do there. Can I show you? Um, not here.

I finish at 5

00, um... there's a cafe down the street. Could you please get me Amy's profile? (doorbell rings) (music playing, espresso machine running) These are beautiful. Seriously. Thank you. I was a prat on Sunday. I'm not used to, um... You know. No, but... Thanks for doing these. I don't know what I want to do with the cottage. But I should pay you. That's fine. Um, they're a present. Call me, um... if you change your mind or... whatever. Huh. Coffee? Thanks. I saw Adam Berryman again today. I want to do that cottage, Caspar. But what about Hugo's new place? Hugo needs therapy, not new taps.

FLORA

You're probably right to sell it. Gin! (chuckling): Gin again. Who did you go with? A friend I made through work. Steve. (dealing cards) (tapping) (sighs) (phone beeps) (birds chirping) Hi. (chuckling) Hey, boss. Someone's happy. Like you wouldn't believe. I'm not redesigning another high-end kitchen. I'm in heaven! So... You skiving? Um... Saturday surgery is only short, and they owe me so much leave. Good. (whirring) (text message alert) Mr. Popular. (whirring continues) Trust me. Living with Caspar, I could write a thesis on sex addiction. (drill whirring) So... was your dad tough on you? Um, let's just say his model of masculinity wasn't exactly Lord Berners. You've no idea who that is. (chuckling): No. (chuckles) Ah, if beds could talk, eh? I'm sure this had a quiet and blameless life. (chuckling) Okay. (grunts) It's getting late. I should go. Well, I... got a lot more done with you here, so. It's only Sunday tomorrow. What, do you have a hot date? No. That old sofa, um, folds out into a bed... of sorts. Mm. Oh, this is so good. How did you...? It, it's just steak. Do you both cook? What? Sorry. Um, yes, we both enjoy cooking when we're in. Thanks. We go out... a lot. Do you mind me asking you all these questions? I never get a chance to... Stick around long enough to make conversation? I'm sorry, that was mean. Um... You're not even out, are you? I bet you've still not told your granny. Not in so many words. She's, she's never invited confidences. And you're scared she'd... I, um, I-I-I don't know. Is that rain? No. (chuckles) This is nice. Yeah. (birds chirping) (objects thudding) Steve? Yeah? It's a picture. Yeah, no, yeah, um... you have grease on your hands. Oh? You're better off just blowing. Close your eyes. One, two, three. Wow. (satisfied sigh) (knock at door) Adam, can I come in? (mouth

full)

Hmm, come in. (door opens) (groans) (sighs) Now, um... No, you're, you're going to spoil your appetite if you eat all this. Oh, no, I've been working so hard all weekend, I'm starving. Mm. Steve has a real vision for how we can... Now doesn't he have a life in London? Uh, no. Well, it's, it's complicated. He has Caspar. Um, an art dealer, but they're what Steve calls semi-detached, so... (chuckling) Mm! I have to show you this. We found it in the, uh, in the cupboard. I thought it was really rather lovely, you know. It might have been... I don't remember that, it must have belonged to the Brewers. Well, it's, it's addressed to... to you and Grandpa. "To Flora and Michael, "in the hope the enclosed "might one day hang in your drawing room. Thomas." Who was Thomas? Oh, he was a friend of your grandfather's. But we didn't like the picture, and, um... we put it away. Chucked it out. (frame settles on floor) Why did you just pretend that you... I can forgive... hmmm... It's how you're made. I wish you would be discreet, but of course that's my age. What? You and the man. There's nothing between... there's nothing... Well, I never expected when I gave you the cottage that you'd turn it into somewhere that you'd bring your latest... Stop....pickup. Just stop right there. You're using your father's money... Just stop! I'm 34 years old and I'm still hiding in your basement. Is it any wonder... It's no business of yours who I... I don't need to hear this. I'm sorry, silly of me to forget that anything below the neck disgusts you! I mean, do you ever lose control? What do you mean? Well, did you ever need to give yourself... I loved your grandfather! Yes, but passion?! Yes! I loved him! With passion! (exhales with frustration) All right, you win. I've been ashamed all my life. And I wonder why that was! Yes, you should be ashamed. Because it is terrible, it's disgusting to live with other people, as if you were animals. Animals!? Yes! Animals! (grunts in anger) I always feel as if I'm in the wrong. It's not fair. (panting) (phone ringing) Come on, Steve, come on. (outgoing voicemail message) (groans in frustration) (panting) (engine starts) (dance music playing) Have you got somewhere we can go that isn't halfway to Gatwick? Yeah. Good. (text message alert sounds) You want another drink? (people laughing)

MAN

Where do you think you're going? If that was you. Here I am, let's go. No, mate. Love, what you waiting for? Get lost. (distant dance music playing) You want some? (zips) (grunting) (retching) (panting) (car pulling up) (car door shuts) (knocking) Hey, I-I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go. I-I had a huge row with... then I... I'm sorry. It's your place. God, I must stink. I-I need a shower. I... I left a message at work. I've taken tomorrow off. I'm sorry for waking you... Even the shower's not working. Oh sh... New pump comes tomorrow. Yeah, I, I, the sink is fine. Just go to bed. Have you...? Go to bed. (scrubbing sounds) (scrubbing continues) (scrubbing continues) (scrubbing stops) (shuddering breath) It's okay. It's not okay. It... it will be okay. Here. (exhales sharply, sniffles) Don't you want to talk? I wouldn't know where to start. (sniffles) (sniffles) (quietly): Bloody hell. Bloody hell. (sniffles) I'm sorry... Shh. I don't think I can... Could you just hold me? Until I sleep? Sure. (sighs) Sure. (birds chirping) (wind rustling leaves, birds chirping) (sighs contentedly) (wind rustling leaves) (sighs contentedly) (birds chirping) (footsteps approaching) So what happens now? I want you. But I'm going to have to tell him. I don't do casual. I-I can't do app sex. I need more. Okay. No, really, I can't... I can't share you. (popping sound) (beeps, rustling sound) Look, deleted. It's just going to feel weird, me... me paying you-- No, you're just humping the help. I will tell you when it gets weird. Yeah? (saw whirring) The trouble with open relationships is they don't end with a satisfying, plate-smashing row. They just become about coffee beans and cat litter. Yeah. He is so inexperienced. Oh, is that what they call it nowadays? You know what I mean. (chuckling) (sighs) Just promise me you don't think you can save him from himself. You saved me. You just needed pointing in the right direction. Oh, it was a lovely send-off, perfect music and readings by all the grandchildren. Hmm... Oh, but we all knew that relations had broken down between her and their parents years ago. You're lucky Adam's so close.

FLORA

Yes, I am, aren't I?

AGNES

Flora? Oh, sorry. Miles away... where, where are we? Agnes passed, I opened a heart, and Geraldine said, "Two clubs." Are you quite well, dear? Thank you. (distant laughter) (exhales sharply) (laughter) (labored breathing)

CASPAR

Yo u are a mysterious... (knife ringing on glass) Look, I just want to say, I am so happy that you are all able to help us celebrate finally getting sewage mains. Um... but seriously, um, it's good to meet Adam's surprisingly wholesome friends. And, uh, and I just... You didn't tell me you were inviting Flora. Flora! Hi! Hello. I'm sorry, I should have rung. Don't be silly. It's good to see you. Yes, I came to bring you this. Well, it belongs here. With you. Thank you. Come and meet Steve.

FLORA

They're so sweet when they're new.

CLAUDIE

When they're sleeping. Or they've just been fed, yeah. (laughing) Hey, uh... (laughs) Steve's a honey. You must be really glad Adam's finally met someone. Mmm, he's very... I-I'm trying to adjust, Claudie, I can't turn overnight into a liberal.

CASPAR

This is rather good, you know. March has become very collectable.

FLORA

Oh, I see. I wish I hadn't told Michael to throw away his painting. So how well did you know Thomas March? Not at all well. They were at school together and in the army. "To Flora and Michael, in the hope that one day the enclosed might hang in your drawing room." What was enclosed with it? Oh, Thomas was probably drunk. He must have meant the painting. Can I have some wine? Yes, of course.

CASPAR

Would you mind? I think there's something peculiar about the frame...

FLORA

There is? Something odd going on. (slicing frame) And it's just a hunch. Oh, my goodness. (cutting frame) Yeah, there's definitely a second painting under there. (whistles) It's Grandpa, isn't it? (crying) Hey, it's okay. Hey. Here. I thought I'd won. Won what? His love. (bitter chuckle) But Thomas March loved Michael, and Michael loved Thomas March. Grandpa was gay? Yes. Grandpa was gay. He loved me, but he married me to be like everybody else. How did you find out? Oh, his love letters were beautiful. And I burned them. You burned them? I was angry and scared that Michael would be sent to prison. Thomas was. I thought I'd won. (sighs) I ruined both of their lives. They hurt you too. (quietly): Yes. I wish I'd known him. Oh, thank you. Thanks for making today so special. Teamwork. (laughing) (text message alert sounds) I'm so sorry. It's just I... Wished you'd left it on silent? I did delete it. Yeah, but then you put it... Steve, it's a habit. I didn't, haven't... Okay... Steve? Steve! Hey, Steve, come on! Steve?! (door opens, closes) (text message alert sounds) (grunts) (phone clatters) (shouts) (labored breathing) (crying) My God, are you all right? What's happened? What's happened, are you hurt? Come on. (sobbing) Come on now, now let's sit down. Here we go, there we go... I'm sorry... he left me... Oh... It's all my fault. It's all my... fault. Weren't you... weren't you happy together? I've never been so happy in my life. Oh, you must go after him. You can't lose him. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for waking you. No, I'm glad you came to me. I just thought of something, I... I thought of something, I'd forgotten all about it until I, I saw the painting. Um... Here. When I thought I was losing Michael, oh, I fought like a tigress. To get him back I was all ferocity. Oh, I was... there was no pride. Now, this is a letter your grandfather Michael wrote, he never sent it. I found it after he died. Well, you'll see, I want you to keep it. Keep everything, and you know, whatever happens, I know that your grandfather Michael and Thomas would have been very, very proud of you. Oh, darling. Thank you. Thank you. Hmm. (sighs) (photos rustling)

MICHAEL

My darling Thomas, I'm at work. Nobody knows I'm writing to you here. You refuse my visits, so you're probably tearing up my letters too. But there's nothing else I can do but keep trying. It's beyond my control, do you see? All those months ago, when I had nothing to lose, really, I wrote to you in my head but was too cowardly to set more than lies on paper. And now I find I no longer care. The love I feel for you runs through me like grain through wood. I love you, Thomas. Your face, your voice, your touch, enter my mind at the least opportune moments, and I find I have no power to withstand them. No desire to. I want us to be together, as we were in the cottage. Only forever, not just a weekend. I want it to go on so long that it feels normal. I think of you constantly. Your face, your breath on my neck at night. I want to do all the ordinary, un-bedroomy things we never got around to doing. Making toast. Raking leaves. Sitting in silence. I love you, Thomas. I've always loved you. I see that now. Tell me I'm not too late.

LINNEY

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