Finding America

I was standing there looking at the ocean, and the land that was beneath my feet is the same land that my people came from.

That which is in me came from here.

Qi naaq, that's my Inupiaq name.

There are many up here where they have this language that is all around them.

They're not speaking it for fear of criticism or fear of being laughed at.

Those fears are going to kill our language.

[sound of motor] [speaking Inupiaq] I'm here with Ilisagvik College and ASRC this weekend.

And we're having a sports and leadership camp over at the high school.

And it starts at 3: 00 o'clock today.

[sound of dribbling basketballs] Sports and leadership camp is an opportunity for children who are very interested in basketball to learn new skills, but also learn leadership skills to accompany those activities and also to learn about the history and education and a little bit more about our culture as North Slope residents.

[sound of birds] I sincerely believe our social pathologies stem from the boarding school experience.

And from the infliction of the requirement to follow rules that we didn't make.

How many years-- Speak only English, don't sing your song nd dances, throw away your religion.

What's left of your identity when these things What's left of your identity when these things are taken away?

And it's important to have that context so you can understand what is traditional and beautiful about our communities, and all the stuff that we also see, that's stuff that has been introduced.

And if you can understand that context and you can see that in your mind, then you know that that stuff that's introduced, it has nothing to do with who we are as people and has everything to do with everything that has happened to us.

But we also can't use that as an excuse.

This morning as I was saying goodbye to the camp kids, I just shook all of their hands, I said thank you so much for talking with me.

And the last thing I want to say that is if there is ever somebody in your life who thinks that you can't do something or tells you that you can't do something, that is a reflection on them and it is not a reflection on you.

That is a reflection on them and it is not a reflection on each and every one of you.

And that's the truth.

So you go out there, enjoy your camp, have a great time in Barrow, and I will definitely see you guys around again.

So, quyanaq.

When I was 19, I didn't think necessarily that the sky was the limit.

I was just trying to figure things out.

I would spend nights where I would just cry to myself about my identity.

I grew up in a predominately non-Native community.

Almost everybody was white.

I could fit well into that.

I am also Caucasian.

My dad's Scottish and that's a part of me.

But there was always things about us that were different or things about me that were different.

And I knew that they were different growing up.

We had different words and we had different foods and when we were doing a class project in third grade about whales, no one else had eaten whale before, and we had some in our freezer most likely.

So when I was 21, that was the first time I came out to the North Slope.

Oh!

My goodness, you!

[speaking Inupiaq] camp.

I remember walking down the streets and even though it was my very first time here, everybody said, welcome home!

Welcome home!

You made it!

Welcome home!

Because they had known me my whole life.

And they know all my family.

There's supposed to be a basketball game tonight.

So it is a home to me.

And she said, Qi naaq, how come they're white people, but they're speaking Eskimo?

And I was like, Martha, how come you're Eskimo but you're speaking white right now?

And she was like mind blown.

Mind blown.

I know!

There's many people who think that Alaskan natives aren't intelligent.

And that's because Western culture link the speed of speech with intelligence.

And with many Alaska Native peoples, we're OK with silence.

[sound of waves] What is that feeling when you go on a hike?

Everything around you is just beautiful and quiet and still, that feeling of being connected with the culture.

Taktuk means fog.

And siun means instrument.

And the word for compass is taktuk siun.

So it's an instrument to help you navigate through the fog.

The more that I learned about Inupiaq, the more I realized that it was teaching me not just the language that I was hearing around me, but it was teaching me what Inupiaq looked like on the inside.

I felt like everything about me connected with this place.

Do you brush your teeth every day?

I don't You guys should be brushing your teeth every day.

Do you want to see my teeth?

I do.

Yeah.

There's no other place before this.

Like this is it.

This is my origin right here.

I have a ring that I wear all the time that's a compass.

I feel like it really symbolizes a lot of my life.

Being the first person in my family to go to school and graduate, being the first person in my family to go to Europe, the first person to travel, the first person to do a lot of things in our family.

And so I felt like every step of the way I was just taking one step forward.

And I couldn't see what the second step was going to be, but I would just trust that I would figure it out when I got there.

And then the fog would clear a little bit and I would see that next step.

And every - my progress has just been like one step at a time.