Before a Breath: America's Stillbirth Crisis

I can remember it very vividly.

I was close to 30.

I was working on my wedding.

I've always wanted children.

I was just like, OK, it's me.

This is happening. So I'll tell you the story of Kodjo and Zindzi.

I got pregnant with twins in 2010.

It was a very, very exciting time.

I think around five months, the midwife was like, You're carrying kind of big, and I think I'm hearing more than one heartbeat.

I have to send you to get an ultrasound. Our wedding was the reveal to everyone that we were actually having twins.

I usually have told this story over and over again, but right now, for some reason, it's just really emotional.

I had a placental abruption and was on life support and also almost lost my life.

One baby was stillborn and the other baby lasted for three days.

Floating was my way of healing.

You have to let go of everything when you float, because when you don't do that, you sink.

What we decided to do was release the urn in the ocean.

It's always going to be a part of your life.

They say grief comes up in waves.

It's 13 years later, I'm experiencing a wave.

There's always purpose in grief, and that is why I am here with you all.

That's why we work so hard for you.

You are the next generation.

Our words are prayers.

And so when we transfer that, you take that prayer and you can do something with it.

OK.

I'm so tired.

Starting walking directions to Dirksen Senate Office Building.

Does that look ... Oh.

No?

Do we not listen?

Stillbirth is a public health crisis in the United States with over 21,000 every year.

This exceeds the number of deaths for children aged 0 to 14 from guns, accidents, preterm birth, SIDS, drownings, fire and flu combined.

As many as 1 in 4 stillbirths are preventable.

Mr.

Speaker, the United States lags behind 181 nations who are rapidly reducing their stillbirth rates.

And I thank Debbie Haine for her decade-long crusade to shine a federal spotlight on this heartbreaking maternal health concern.

Hey, guys, it's Deb.

I'm here in D.C.

having lots of meetings, trying to put stillbirth and the SHINE for Autumn Act on everyone's radar.

I lost my daughter in 2011.

She was stillborn.

I never knew that something like this could happen to me.

I was already a mother.

We need to address the problem.

I mean, every year in this country, over 20,000 babies are born still.

So I spent the past seven years working on a piece of legislation.

And what the bill does is it basically authorizing funding that would go to improve data collection.

We're lacking the data.

Talk to me about what countries are doing that we're not doing.

Quite frankly, listening to moms and, you know, educating them about the risks of stillbirth, talking about the importance of paying attention to babies' movement.

I can't ever bring Autumn back, but what I can do and what I promised her that I would do is to try to ensure that other families never have to suffer.

We're just hoping that we can see the bill make its way over the finish line at the end of the year.

Stillbirths are not inevitable.

Other countries have made stillbirth a national priority.

They are funding research and their stillbirth numbers have improved.

We can do the exact same thing.

This has to happen now.

This is me after I came home from the hospital and the first time I saw it, I remember, like, crying so hard, because, not for myself, but when you zoom in and you look, Maya covered herself in Band-Aids.

She had boo-boos all over.

A kid that age, she was three and a half, didn't know how to communicate what she was feeling.

She knew that she was hurting because I was hurting so much.

And so she was trying to fix it and figured with Band-Aids make everything better.

From a young girl, the one and only thing that I ever knew that I wanted was to be a mom.

I close my eyes and I can remember putting a balloon underneath my shirt and posing in front of the mirror in my living room.

When I met Chetan and we talked about how many kids we want, the first thing I said was five.

I got pregnant six months after we got married.

I remember thinking that, like, nothing in this world could get any better.

Maya, who's a big girl?

Hello.

The following year I had my first miscarriage.

A year later, I suffered my second miscarriage, a much bigger pill to swallow.

Maya's first pumpkin carving.

Can you go see what Daddy's doing?

Is Daddy making a pumpkin?

What color is the pumpkin?

Orange.

The following year, I was pregnant for the fourth time in four years.

We named her Autumn because she was due in fall.

I felt like I'd won.

I finally was succeeding at the woman game, the motherhood game.

I was five and a half months pregnant with Autumn.

It was the most awful moment.

Her telling me that the baby didn't have a heartbeat, that she would leave me to make my calls.

Who am I **** calling?

What do you do in that moment?

I overheard the woman in the room next to me delivering her baby.

I don't know if I breathed.

I remember waiting.

having already delivered a baby, would it feel the same?

It was dark and there was, like, a a single light over the bed.

I screamed the entire time.

The silence of her birth, it still haunts me.

I couldn't wrap my head around holding my dead baby.

It's, like, the weight that I carry with me each and every day that I didn't have that with her.

And it's what drives me so hard to do the work that I do, because no one should ever have that kind of guilt.

Hello.

How do we clean you?

These are all Elodie's clothes.

My baby shower, my mom brought them all over.

So little.

Elia, is this your size?

Just move.

We have new detergent that is scent free for the baby.

Here you go.

Getting married at 24 was the furthest thing in terms of what I imagined for myself.

We're working on our 10th year.

I always thought, maybe I would want to be a mom, but it was never the first thing I wanted to accomplish.

I love nursing and I love taking care of patients.

I just screamed in the bathroom.

He had been waiting six years to tell me he wanted to have children.

He wanted to respect my own timing.

I had seen the name Elodie.

I just fell in love with it.

Her middle name is Haru.

It's a Korean word name, one day. We noticed that very early on my belly looked far bigger than what you would expect for somebody at my gestation.

But my doctors kept telling me, People wear bellies differently. The biggest red flag first happened at the baby shower.

I was about 28 weeks pregnant at that point.

My best friend, she's a gynecological surgeon.

She was pregnant as well.

And she pressed on my belly, and she goes, Steph, you're really taught. Did they ever check something called an AFI? I got diagnosed with high amniotic fluid levels.

They kept reassuring us that the baby was probably going to be fine.

As a nurse, I try not to, like, over-worry about things.

And so when the doctor would tell me, Oh, it's fine, I believed them.

The word stillbirth never came up, ever, once.

I went in weekly for testing.

They kept saying, We want to keep her in as long as possible so that she could grow. So Tunaidi goes, Well, how do we know she's growing? I still remember that day.

We were laying there excited to hear her heartbeat.

The doctor's, she's panicking.

We don't hear anything.

We see her, but we don't hear anything.

She's not moving.

Then she's like, Give me one second. Never once in my entire hospital stay did anybody mention that she was too small.

The doctor immediately after she was born said, We definitely recommend you get an autopsy. I know how an autopsy goes.

Someone cutting my baby, like, I didn't want it, but I did.

So we, like, full-heartedly sign for the autopsy.

The doctor said it was the right thing to do.

The week of my six-week, I was like, Are the autopsy results going to be available? It was just like a nightmare that just wouldn't get better.

These tests were the ones that were going to help us find out what went wrong.

I still remember how she feels in my hands.

She was so soft.

My time with her was so short.

These are, like, the Clark heels, the old lady with lots of cushion.

Can't be walking all around.

I've learned the hard way.

Today's discussion represents another opportunity for Congress to pass meaningful reforms to improve Black maternal health and neonatal equity.

I'm Dr.

Kanika Harris, social scientist, epidemiologist by training.

It was through maternal health that I got to understand how health inequities really work.

I decided to become a doula in 2006.

I was able to work in Detroit, literally catching babies because doctors were nowhere to be found.

Fast forward to 2010, I had my own personal experience, being pregnant with twins.

Unfortunately, had a placental abruption at 32 weeks.

I think it was absolutely preventable.

I had every textbook symptom of preeclampsia.

I could see myself swelling up.

I had this headache, this horrible headache.

There was no education about any potential complications.

Nothing.

If someone told me, If you feel any of these things come in right away, I would have definitely done that.

I tried to wait it out because I didn't know the condition that I had.

Literally, that was the difference between life and death.

I got to the hospital.

I was asked to give my insurance card.

When you're wheeled in, who stops you at the desk where there's visible blood?

So much of Black life is how you present yourself.

There is this idea that if you show up looking a certain way, maybe that care will be better.

I remember trying to be, like, this upstanding citizen of America, like, I am worthy of care.

I do have good insurance.

Trying to validate while I'm bleeding out.

The death certificate said that I was a single mom and that I, um ... had less than an eighth grade education.

Someone had to have looked at me, looked at my husband, and was like, Yeah, this is her story. How many people does this happen to?

Is our data even accurate?

Before I had kids, I was a legal recruiter and I had my own company.

I was never able to work another day after Autumn died.

I spent all of my time advocating.

The purpose of this call is, to have Anita, who is a grandmother, and Sen.

London Lamar, who is a stillbirth mom, share their stories to build bipartisan support for the SHINE for Autumn Act.

This is our Cassidy.

As you can see, she was a fully developed little child.

She could have been delivered earlier.

I lost my son on Oct.

17, 2019, at 32 weeks pregnant.

I was the youngest woman in the legislature, still is the youngest woman in the Tennessee legislature.

It is so important that we pass this piece of legislation, a bipartisan piece of legislation that both Democrats and Republicans can get behind.

We are here today asking you to please consider how important stillbirth is in this country and going to Sen.

Haggerty and asking him to get behind this because we need him.

And, you know, time is not on our side.

I hear you 100% on this.

I love you.

So every year on her birthday, we come out and we add something else.

That is a conch shell from our baby moon.

Maya made this when she was little and if we flipped it over, you probably could see writing on it.

Autumn couldn't have been saved.

But there are so many stillbirths that are preventable with clear communication between the patient and the provider, with better testing.

Stillbirth data suffers from poor quality.

We don't have enough trained professionals to actually perform these autopsies and placental examinations.

And so the information that's collected is inaccurate.

It's not complete.

Sadly, we don't have the funding.

I set out to do that through this bill, and there are only three months left in the legislative session.

We're looking at $9 million a year for five years.

It's a drop in the bucket.

Good morning!

Good morning!

It's good to see you all.

Thank you so much for coming out.

This is the first time this has happened at Morgan.

Three of us will be talking about our experiences.

You know, we talk to you all through storytelling.

We also know the statistics and we've talked about the statistics of maternal and infant health, especially as it pertains to Black women.

We're two times more likely to have stillbirths.

So we want to make sure that we know how to support birthing people, mamas, that are experiencing this.

Miscarriage as we defined is a loss that happens prior to 20 weeks.

Stillbirth is is what we define a loss after 20 weeks gestation.

So as a doula, the best way to support mom or birthing person through loss is really to listen to them.

I think the hardest part, even though I've gone through losses myself, is helping them say goodbye.

When I lost the twins, I was embarrassed.

I'm this doula, there must have been something that I did.

This is not how it's supposed to end.

We just never know how impactful the loss of a baby at any trimester is going to be.

Rainbow babies is a terminology that we use in the pregnancy loss community where we say the baby after your loss is the rainbow after your storm of losses.

It's hard to go from this shock, denial, disbelief to this new reality with a new pregnancy.

Just relax your arm.

Hi.

Thank you.

You doing OK?

Yeah.

Are you doing OK?

I like your nails.

Thank you.

My nail girl went nuts.

I think Dr.

Stone was my first answered prayer, and she's like, we're going to start the first Rainbow Clinic in America for parents who have experienced loss.

So EPV is good, 59th, so that's good.

Oh wow!

What's 59th?

The placental volume measurement is 59th.

Fifty-ninth percentile.

That's good.

Like, I've never felt a baby move this much at this gestation.

Well I mean, it's good, right?

No, it's so good.

It's so good because even when I'm worried, she moves a little, and I'm like, Oh, she's OK. Totally different, right?

Yeah.

So this is the time, like, over the next few weeks, not only is the movement important, but, like, the pattern, her pattern, right?

Nights and mornings.

Yeah.

So you already know that.

So if you feel a deviation from that pattern, then I want you to call.

One pound, 14 ounces.

So 2 ounces shy of 2 pounds.

Last time it was 1, 6.

Wow, she grew.

That's what's supposed to happen.

Oh my goodness.

Go away.

When I was pregnant with Elodie, I was so happy.

I was, like, probably the happiest I've ever been in my life.

Her nickname is the Little Mermaid.

Her dad's the fish, Tuna the fish.

And so, like, everything about Elodie was, like, fish themed.

My father's a sushi chef.

Fish was, like, a big thing in my life.

And unfortunately, the sea kind of ate her up.

When I found out I was pregnant the second time, it was, like, at first I was so happy and so elated.

And then, like, maybe, like, 30 minutes in all of sudden I was weeping and crying.

It's just we're, like, struck by fear but excitement at the same time.

It's, like, we want to see our daughter, we want to hold her.

We want to, you know, be practicing parents on Earth.

She was perfect.

Ah.

I accidentally poured some.

I know, it's full.

Oh, lookit, see?

See how you don't spill.

Oh, come on, more milk!

No way!

That's, like, a normal amount of milk, Gavin.

No, that isn't!

Oh no, I'm turning into Gavin.

This is extremely challenging in the morning.

I don't ... there's not enough coffee.

I love you.

Love you.

I love you.

Love you!

After Autumn died, I needed answers.

I needed to know that I could have another baby.

Three months later, I found myself pregnant.

I felt like if anyone knew or saw me, that it would make the pregnancy real.

And if something's real, it can be taken away.

There you go, perfect.

When Gavin made his arrival, I felt such a wave of relief.

Don't.

You're gonna hit a car.

Don't hit a car.

He just got 1,500.

What's going on here?

Are you kidding me?

I couldn't sleep.

Nervous.

Too many things that I feel like I'm forgetting.

Love you.

Knock em dead.

Kick some ass, alright?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Text me when you're on the train.

Don't forget Maya.

Who?

Don't forget Gavin.

Make sure he took his medicine.

When the bill passed the House of Representatives on December 8th, 2021, 408 to 18, it was the first time I felt like anything was possible.

Oh my God, hurry before I literally melt.

We now need to move it through the Senate.

As a country, we have made virtually no progress in the reduction of stillbirths.

Women of color are significantly more likely to have a stillbirth and to die from pregnancy-related complications.

I represent Healthy Birthday.

We are now in 19 states with Count the Kicks.

So we're here to shine a light on the tragedy of stillbirth, but we're also here to tell you there are solutions.

Passing SHINE for Autumn, signing on to the Maternal Child Health Stillbirth Act, they're the beginning.

By improving stillbirth outcomes we will see a reduction in maternal mortality, morbidity and newborn complications.

So it really is a win-win.

So today on the floor of the Senate and the House, there is going to be a National Stillbirth Prevention Day resolution introduced.

So we would also love the senator's support.

Oh, awesome.

The **** thing is I did not have the empathy that I do now for any of this.

I thought stillbirth happened because those babies were really sick, babies that wouldn't have lived very long or happy lives.

So much is happening and I feel like, you know, we've been talking about this for so long.

I'm so scared to say that, like, maybe change is on the horizon.

This is therapy for me.

Like, this is my therapy.

It's healing, it's part of the process.

Stillbirth Prevention Day!

Stillbirth Prevention Day!

You can head this way.

We had a national stillbirth prevention resolution introduced today.

Our communities need it, the world needs it!

Amen, thank you so much.

I applaud all of you for the wonderful work you are doing.

Thank you so much.

I'm so grateful for the village that I have found ' these fierce warrior moms.

I'm Deb Haine Vijayvergiya.

Autumn's my daughter.

Thank you for supporting.

No, thank you for coming out to see us.

Everything we can do to help talk about this, we will.

You done good, girl.

You've done real good.

This is, um ... it's monumental.

I think we have a real chance.

Well we can't give up hope.

Well, you know that you're the most powerful part of this, because ... moms.

Not everybody got a chance to breathe a first breath, to see the first light, to experience being held for the first time.

Would I be here if this tragedy was not shrouded in silence?

Would I have a 2-year-old son?

I believe I would.

Educating and empowering parents and providers will save babies' lives.

Debbie Haine's SHINE for Autumn Act will help create a generation of pathologists who are able to figure out what caused a stillbirth.

I have seen over 60 patients and we delivered our first rainbow baby and we have many more to come.

And that is why we are here today, to demand change.

You guys ready to go?

Alright, let's do this!

My back!

You feel that tightness?

This is so much better for moving around the house, doing chores, washing dishes, cooking.

So when you're, like, a postpartum doula, you can say, "I'll take the baby."

The baby will sleep forever.

They can feel a heartbeat.

So it's a very soothing thing for them.

Yes.

Everything needs to change in a medical system never built or designed to care for Black people in the first place.

Young Black women are still just not getting the appropriate education about their own reproductive health.

You're going to show them your word and they're going to try to give you one clue and then you're going to guess it, right?

This model of training, if you walk away with anything, you have the information to advocate for yourself, for your family, for your friends and community.

We have the solutions to problems that we didn't create.

How do you all feel?

Give yourselves a hand!

You are the next generation of birth workers.

That's a big deal.

Hooray!

Oh, hi, Elia.

Oh, she's kicking.

I don't care how bad it hurts.

As long as she keeps kicking, I'm OK.

It's like a nice reminder that she's doing alright.

Who's my super mom?

Come here, Super Mommy.

Stop!

All these things.

Are you OK, baby?

Yeah.

Alright, alright.

This looks kind of big.

I really hope it fits.

Baby Delight ... I mean, at this point, it's a little too late for us to even return it.

Oh, here are the instructions.

Oh, my goodness.

Alright, give me this.

This is better.

Here you go.

Oh, Wowee.

Lift these legs up.

Go down, go down, up.

Dance.

Elia, keep moving.

Feet up, feet up.

Feet up.

I feel like, you know ' Hi, this is Deb Haine Vijayvergiya. I mean, like, no.

Hi, this is Deb ... I mean, how are you supposed to know how to do this?

Hey, guys, it's Deb.

So today is our big day as we're trying to get #SHINEforAutumnAct trending.

Please join us so that we can get this bill over the finish line, and for all of our babies that were lost too soon.

Once we do that, I can believe that Autumn's life was not lost in vain.

Hi Olivia.

Thank you for being here.

I'm so sorry.

I have asked 50 million different ways what I can do to get this bill passed.

I breathe it every minute of every day and I just don't think it's sustainable for another year, two years, three years.

The number of hours that I devote for her, because she's not here ... And then my kids are here.

If I stop to think about it, I wouldn't be able to continue doing this.

So I don't.

I just keep going.

Hm, how long have you been ' let me just see how long you've been on.

Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

OK, so baby's not quite reactive yet ' meaning not doing the accelerations in the heart rate like I like to see.

Baby's only done one and baby needs to do two.

Her last appointment she was, like, she was much more active.

She might be a little bit sleepy, but we'll see.

So you get the full 40 minutes on this monitor.

But if at 40 minutes it's not reactive, we'll still do the ultrasound and everything.

But I would then send you to labor and delivery just for prolonged monitoring.

Don't be lazy like Mommy.

Hey.

Wake up!

Excuse me.

Wake up!

Cooperate, please.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

OK, sorry for bothering you.

We're good.

We're Gucci.

OK, so you want me to go tell them now?

Hey, you left me hanging.

Right here?

Yeah.

When I lost the twins, I waited a year to try again.

Oh, no.

Tezi means to stay, and he was born healthy at almost 8 pounds.

Then in 2017, I had another set of twins.

No assistance in terms of IVF or anything.

I guess I just have a twin body.

Gyasi blowed a big balloon.

Gyasi, afterwards, fill it up, we are going to let it go.

No, after we fill it up, we can't let it go.

Or we have to, because we can't tie it.

Gyasi means wonderful in Twi.

It's Ghanaian.

Zindzi means anchored.

So we got Zindzi number two.

I knew if I had another girl I would keep the name.

Let her know you're, you're named after your big sister.

I blowed so much!

Go!

There's no doubt in my mind or my heart, my spirit, that they just wanted to come back.

And I feel like that's what happened.

How are you?

Good, thank you.

You have two more weeks.

Girl, this is my last week.

It's your last week?

I'm delivering her in two weeks.

You're my mommy mate!

Yeah.

We're literally, like ... I know.

Tomorrow is 35 weeks.

I returned back to work two and a half weeks after delivering Elodie.

Because of how New York State processes stillbirths, I was denied my parental leave.

I had tearing, so I had stitches.

I was crying every night.

I barely slept.

I'll take care of this.

She's going to do this, I have to do this.

It was basically denying the fact that Elodie happened.

Is it not birth?

Oh, hello!

Oh, wow.

This is 35 weeks.

Not even, not even 35.

Thirty-five tomorrow.

I guess technically, this is going to be our last growth scan.

Five pounds, 2 ounces.

Oh, no.

That's heavier than me.

Get out.

I was 5 pounds.

That's big for my family.

Excuse me, thirtieth percentile hardly is considered big, weirdo.

All right.

And so, again, of course, paying attention to fetal movement, right?

Yes, she has her schedule.

And so don't hesitate for a second.

Any change in the pattern, I just want you to call.

Do I just call directly the office?

Call the office as you're heading in.

We didn't do this the first time where we could prepare.

I did get a little emotional earlier.

This is the week Elodie died for me.

I don't really have a birth plan just as long as the baby's safe.

Plan is healthy mom, healthy baby, right?

That's our plan.

Awesome.

When I come back, we could do, we'll do dinner out on Wednesday.

OK?

Plan?

Sushi?

Maybe.

I think I probably could use a little sushi dinner date.

Mmhm.

Meds, water, snacks, pajamas, notebooks, flip flops, shower stuff, makeup, charger, computer, phone.

Oh, look at that.

Your hair smells weird.

Thank you.

Welcome.

I love you.

Today, I've had four meetings so far.

Yesterday, we had seven scheduled meetings and some drop-ins.

The end-of-year package is the only way we're going to see the bill get over the finish line in the 117th Congress.

The past few weeks have been brutal, like 1:30 bedtime and 7:45 start time.

And I'm just ... I'm not superhuman even I like to think sometimes I am.

It's catching up to me.

Hey, Gyasi.

What's wrong, buddy?

Oh.

What's wrong?

Good morning.

Can you turn the fan off?

Yesterday you were hot.

Zindzi.

Grief of that level can tear you apart or bring you together.

My husband and I, we are lucky that we were able to have healthy children.

It was amazing to watch Jua be so happy and proud.

Do you want two braids?

Or you want it out?

I want two braids.

You want two braids?

OK.

Did you brush your teeth?

Yes.

You did?

I'm talking about Gyasi.

No, he can't reach it either.

OK.

We are raising this family of five.

It's a beautiful life.

I don't want to say a beautiful struggle, but we do struggle sometimes.

I'm not gonna be here this weekend, Tez.

On Sunday.

Do you have a game on Sunday?

So I'll see you on Sunday.

Keep running this way around the circle!

Gyasi.

Alright, y'all, time to load up.

Tezi.

I can't believe I got Zindzi.

See you on Sunday, OK?

OK!

Listen to Miss Patrice.

OK!

Be good at school.

OK!

Tell Ms.

Beete I said hi.

Bye, Zin!

Bye!

Travel safe.

Alright, I'll see you in the funny papers.

Bye, Tez!

Bye, Mommy!

Birth Detroit was a homecoming for me.

They're building the first Black-led midwifery care and birth center in Detroit, from the ground up.

What an honor, what an honor.

My name is Kanika Harris.

I am here from Washington, D.C.

I had to interview to be a part of the board, and I was like, "OK, I'm ready.

She's going to ask me questions about, like, my policy experience, what skills I can bring. And she's like, What does joy mean to you?

What does love mean to you? And I'm like, "Wait a minute, wait a minute."

If you could snap your fingers and see birth justice realized, what would that look like for you?

I want a birth experience I don't have to recover from.

And we're not just talking about, like, the necessity of recovery, but traumatic emotional recovery.

Because guess what?

It's what we need, right?

You can't tell me what I need.

You can't tell me what I feel.

Right?

And so we can't mess this up.

It's work that feeds my soul.

It helped me a lot of that healing of those helpless moments, not having the experiences that I wanted to have during my birth process.

Ugh.

Come on, Elia.

Come on, baby.

Come on, shh ... Come on.

It's OK.

Shhh.

Shhh.

Come on.

It's OK.

I have my induction tomorrow.

I haven't been sleeping.

You haven't been sleeping.

I haven't.

You're just worried?

That, and I'm just not able to get comfortable.

I'm not going to lie, I look forward to not being pregnant.

I've been pregnant for so long.

Except, hopefully this time, with a good outcome.

I did kind of give my family a little bit of a heads up.

They're from a generation and culture where baby blues, depression, doesn't exist or is not addressed.

My mom is very much somebody who's just like, "Don't cry.

It's fine, it's fine.

Everything's fine.

You have to be happy. A lot of happiness, but also some sadness about what you've lost, too, right?

Absolutely.

And how to balance those two things.

Yeah.

People around me are really excited for her knowing our circumstances.

But, like, I think for them, often they think that one baby replaces the other, and it doesn't.

In a few short hours, we'll have a better gauge on whether SHINE made it or not, and um ... I'm really, really, really, really, really, really scared.

I don't know.

I'm trying to tell myself it's going to be fine.

Beyond, like, tweeting today, which I don't even know if it's even worth doing that, like, is there anything else that I can do?

Or it's just a waiting game right now?

Could you burn?

I bought it in New Orleans along with some other spritzy stuff that I just sprayed in the house.

Maybe it will help do something.

Can you talk?

Alright.

Everybody at work texted me.

Agnes is super excited we're going to have a little Capricorn girl.

I think it fits better here.

In here?

Yeah, it fits better here.

Elodie showed up in my dream for the first time ever last night.

She was pink and, like, alive.

I couldn't see her eyes, but, like, I knew it was her.

She had, like, her long eyes.

I was so, so happy in my dream that I got to hold her and see her.

Like, the first time all in one piece.

Bye, Haru.

One one seven six Fifth Avenue.

I'm gonna take a yellow cab.

You know how to take one?

Of course!

You know the address?

Of course!

It's like 20 minutes.

I feel like we're ... we're, like, ending a really, really, really big journey and embarking on something, like, even bigger.

So do you have any medical history we should know about?

I had a stillbirth in 2021.

I'm sorry.

Hey, it's our little girl.

We're gonna have a baby there.

It's a little hard to believe.

She was born one week after Elodie, but she weighs 2 pounds more.

No, 18.9 inches.

Yeah.

So her heart rate had dropped substantially.

I was just really worried she would die.

Tunaidi and I both started crying.

We were both really, really scared.

I've never seen him like that.

You're warm.

I'm so happy right now.

I'm OK.

I know.

I'm not in pain, I'm OK.

I know.

Haneul's OK, too.

They are doing tests.

She's OK.

Elia was born at 7: 59.

It took them about 30 minutes to close me up.

I looked over and the baby was exactly the way Elodie was in my dream.

It was just so surreal.

They're both beautiful.

My girls.

OK.

Hey.

It's not there.

I feel like they could have done this, and it could have been a win for, for both parties.

But, you know, **** happens.

There are things in here that are important.

So I'm not hating on anybody, just disappointed.

After I gave birth to Autumn, I had, like, this, like, incessant need to find out if I could have other babies.

Like, I was, like, I was, like, obsessive.

Every doctor that walked into my room, if I could have another baby, I was, like, laying there in the room.

Anyone who walked in, a nurse, a doctor, a resident, I'm, like, "Can I have more babies?

Does this mean I can have more babies? Because I couldn't ... I just can't deal with failure.

Black mothers birthing everywhere, birthing freedom.

Forty fierce Morgan State University students participated in doula training for a year.

You are now doulas today.

And thank you, because you did not just bring yourself you brought your parents, you brought your foremothers and you brought your descendants, the children you will have.

We came together to rebuild and to reconstruct and to remember our villages and our sisterhood and also our innate ability to take care of ourselves and to be our own solutions We can't wait.

We gotta do what we need to do right now.

The country cannot be healthy unless we are healthy.

Does that tongue mean you're hungry?

OK, Mommy's getting ready.

OK?

You want the three- star Michelin food right there?

How come I'm not four-star?

There is no four-star.

There isn't?

Child please.

Here's your child.

Watch out for her moving hands.

You gonna cooperate with Mommy today?

Very, very dramatic with her hands.

I definitely was hoping I'd be in a different place right now.

Family time, my health, seeing my parents, my friends ' like, I believed that if I made those sacrifices, it would have to be worth it.

I said to people that I could never do this again.

Now we'll go down and check out.

Quitter Band-Aids.

They're not, like, staying up.

Hey, guys.

So each and every meeting has gone so well.

You know, when I got here in 2014 for the first time to talk about stillbirth, no one knew what stillbirth was.

No one was talking about maternal health and today, everyone knows what stillbirth is.

Everyone is talking about stillbirth and everyone is talking about maternal health.

So I'm feeling good and I'm feeling hopeful.

I hope that you do, too.

I'm proud to join the bipartisan SHINE for Autumn Act.

This legislation would create the first nationally coordinated effort to address and reduce stillbirths.

We need to pass this bill, this Congress.

This is absolutely no reason this should wait.

There are 45 ayes and zero nos.

The ayes have it and the bill is adopted.

I don't want people to hear my story and take away: "She had this happy ending.

She figured it all out. You know, we're talking about 13 years later, a journey of healing over a significant amount of time.

It's your right to find peace again.

And it's your right to find that joy in your life again, whatever that time and journey looks like to you.

It's not your fault.